August 30, 2024 • 17 mins
Summary:
"That Girl" is the confident, stylish, and unapologetically authentic version of yourself. Join Jessica and the highly anticipated return of Lisa Holmes as they discuss the journey into becoming "That Girl". 🌟
Together, they dive into the journey of understanding and standing in your power, exploring what it means to truly know your worth. Lisa shares a transformative moment in her life when she realized she would want to date herself, and how this revelation changed her perspective on relationships and self-love. 💕✨
They also chat about the importance of daily practices like expressing gratitude and celebrating yourself – because you deserve it! 🎉 Jessica and Lisa discuss the impact of surrounding yourself with a supportive squad that lifts you up and celebrates your uniqueness.
The episode wraps up with some practical tips on building self-esteem and recognizing your own value. Whether you're on a self-love journey or just looking for a boost of inspiration, this conversation is filled with wisdom, laughs, and a lot of love. ❤️
Listen now and join the conversation! 🎙️✨
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Your donation helps cover production costs and improve audio quality. Click here to donate and keep the bold conversations coming! Thank you for your support! 🙌✨
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Credits:
Host: Jessica Jackson
Guest: Lisa Holmes
Produced by: Ariele & Jessica
Edited by: Ariele
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:19):
Hello, welcome to Emboldened with Jessica.
Today we have a very special guest, Lisa Holmes.
Lisa, welcome.
Hello, everyone.
Yes, well, today we're gonna be getting into some things, okay?
And we're gonna be talking about being that girl.
And just to kind of go over a definition of what is that girl?
What does that mean?
(00:40):
When we think about that girl, we're thinking about someone who is competent, who hasstyle, humor, someone who takes up space.
Someone who is unapologetically themselves.
What do you think of when you think of someone who's that girl?
Honestly, I always think that you are that girl.
I've always thought that that's who you were.
(01:00):
I always wanted to do all those things.
As I've gotten older, I definitely have accepted that and embraced it.
And it has been wonderful.
Embraced that you are that girl.
That I am that girl.
Yes, because you are.
I get it now.
-huh.
And so part of being that girl also includes knowing your worth, catching up to how theworld is already viewing you, the way your friends, your loved ones are viewing you, and
(01:27):
really standing in that power.
And so Lisa, you came to mind because there was, we were all hanging out having drinks asone does.
And we were talking about what was going on for you.
And you said that something occurred as you were dating where you realized, wow.
I am that girl.
(01:47):
Can you tell us about what happened?
Yes.
So what I realized was when I look at my life and my accomplishments, I would want to dateme.
I would want to be with me.
I would not want to let me go.
So in this particular instance, I was dating this guy who was younger and I was like, man,when I was his age, if I had met a 40 year old who had his stuff together, you wouldn't
(02:14):
tell me nothing.
So it never occurred to me that the tables could flip and that somebody could feel thatsame way about me.
then when I finally said, well, that's what this is, then I was able to navigate it a lotbetter because now I can stand and what I now know is true and both know is true.
(02:36):
So I was able to say, hey, I get it.
But at this age and stage,
I'm over growing people.
I want us to grow together.
I know that's right.
You know, the other thing that you practice that I think is a really beautiful practice isyou've now developed this way when there's a celebration for you that you will ask people
(02:59):
to do a speech about you as a way for you to kind of really know and not wait to receiveyour flowers to really know like, what are you thinking about me?
What inspired you to start that practice?
Okay, so a lot of people are dying, as we know, and I just really have been in spaces
(03:20):
in places where I have had the opportunity to be celebrated on a regular basis.
And I love how that feels.
So I have made it, my therapist has also made it, a point to express gratitude whenever Ican.
So I am constantly pouring into people.
(03:40):
And it really, really has changed the course and trajectory of my life.
And it just really like...
and tumbles and stops people to say, what do I appreciate about that person?
Because I have like moments in my life where I start to think about how grateful I am forpeople.
And now I'm not waiting, I'm texting them.
(04:03):
I'm finding a network.
I'm going over to their house and saying, hey, I just wanna let you know how much Iappreciate you.
And the way that that just changes people's demeanor is really powerful.
And that is what I want people to live in.
Cause we can live in all the other spaces, but I want people to be encouraged.
I want them to live in its positive spaces and places.
(04:24):
And I want to help be a part of that.
So for my birthdays, I asked for speed juice.
People have been very adverse to giving them, but yeah, that's my thing.
Like I want everybody to.
know that they're that person, that woman, that man, whatever.
I want you to know that you're that person.
I don't want you to feel like me who had to guess for years.
(04:47):
I always heard it in the rumblings, but I didn't believe it.
So I want to be that rumbling that gets so loud that you have to hear it.
You have to face it.
Yes.
Okay.
Thank you for sharing that.
I just think that's a beautiful practice and it speaks to part of what you really enjoy isfor everyone to hear it, for it to be a collective sharing.
And you're not shrinking like, you just can do this in a card, like, or you can just dothis on the side.
(05:12):
Like you really want a celebration.
Yeah.
And I think also as women that are not married, a lot of times we don't get a lot ofcelebrations.
Right.
And so it looks different.
And so making sure we're honoring people's needs.
So you're talking a little bit about catching up into how the world sees you.
(05:34):
And I think this is something that is really common for lot of people where a lot of otherpeople are speaking life into them or they're telling them positive things and they think
that that person is maybe lying or trying to flatter them.
How do you know the difference?
How do you know someone's just blowing sulk up your behind or if it's really genuine?
Yeah.
How do you tell the difference?
(05:55):
Honestly, it depends on who it's coming from, right?
I've come to learn that there are just truly toxic people who don't mean what they say.
those don't feel very good.
even if it's like the best compliment you've received in your entire life, they don't feelthe same and you really can feel that.
(06:16):
Yes.
So honoring and listening to your body in terms of does it feel like this aligns?
Like, does this feel like it's true for it?
Does it feel kind of slurmy?
Are they trying to get something from me?
And also, am I hearing these compliments from other people?
If I'm hearing compliments from different people in different settings and it's the samething, then I can probably trust that this is who I am.
(06:39):
There's this thing called the Strength Finder, and you can pay to go online or to buy thebook and learn about different strengths.
But there's another tool that I prefer.
It's free.
It's called Hi5, H -I -G -H, and then the number five.
and it allows you to also search for your strengths.
But what I really like about it is that you can also send them out to people that youknow, and they can do it based off of what they find your strengths to be.
(07:05):
So now again, a way for you to compare.
I think my strengths are this, my best friend is telling me this, my sibling is telling methis.
And so it also kind of gives you something to work with about, man, okay, this is an areaof strength for me.
So, when did you know you were that girl?
(07:26):
Yeah, it took me some time.
It's really just been the last couple years where I've owned it.
Before I think that I just, I felt like it was fleeting.
I never really understood that it's always there.
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter how much I use it, it's always gonna be there.
Yesterday I got a free car wash.
you did?
Cause you're charming.
(07:47):
I got ribs.
Yes.
And so these are the things I've come to learn about myself is that
Literally, it takes talking to people, which is something you I was adverse to for years.
was very shy, very introverted.
Which is so loud to think about.
like my profession has made me step out of that and made me step up in places.
(08:12):
But like I said, it's something that I finally realized is here to stay.
And now I'm...
nurturing it to make sure that it's something I always have.
How are you moving to life now that you're aware that you're that girl?
(08:32):
Like I'm really just trying to enhance myself.
Like I like to make sure that I look a certain way.
You always look amazing.
mean, model ready.
You're always just stunning.
I try.
Yeah.
It wasn't always like that.
Really?
It was always like that.
Like at times I didn't really care how I looked.
Maybe like when you were younger, school.
(08:53):
High school.
Yes.
Yeah.
As an adult, I really like
found my style, really figured out what everyone knew was my face and my hair.
And it works.
Do you think some of that in high school and middle school was, A, related to maybe someconfidence, but B, also we have less resources.
We were on that struggle bus.
So, I mean, we have more you can do a little more with what you got.
(09:20):
What would you say to the old you, I would say continue to surround yourself with peoplewho celebrate you.
Not everybody's for you.
I know that's right.
And you're not for everybody.
Ooh, that was big.
Because I think that, yeah.
Lisa, let's talk about that.
(09:41):
Because I felt like there were some people that you were trying to drag into yourelevation, into your growth.
They just weren't where you were.
And they were wearing you down.
You know me, I'm quick to cut up.
So, yeah, what has shifted in that for you?
People are dying.
would doubt this.
(10:02):
It's just a space where I realized that I can't keep.
doing this, it literally is hurting my soul.
Yeah.
I realized that those people were not serving me.
Now it's doing me disservice to myself by keeping them around.
What do mean?
And your breathing was hurting.
Yeah, it was hurting me to my core.
(10:24):
Like, I remember coming here and just complaining and complaining and complaining.
I don't like that.
I mean, there's one thing I could kick you were talking about.
yeah, I'm planning for hours about the same thing.
That's what you noticed when you were like, this needs to shift.
It's bringing me down, even when I'm around these people.
I'm still thinking about all the horrible things, all the different things.
(10:48):
Like there was no joy anymore.
When you can reflect back in the number of the joy you used to have with people and it'sgone, it's over.
I think that's critical, right?
To be aware that there are people who make us feel lighter and they're fun.
And it doesn't mean that there's not hard.
moments with them, or maybe they're navigating some difficult things and we hold space forthem.
(11:10):
But also knowing that they're people who just always feel down.
Like, they're just always complaining.
Like, they act like life is only happening to them in terrible way.
And we pick up on energy.
I mean, that's just in our nature.
And so what we're around is what we become.
And so there does get to be a point where we have to choose ourselves.
We gotta put me first.
(11:32):
What do do when you don't feel like you're that girl?
How do you build up your self -esteem?
We talked about utilizing that tool of the high five, but what are some other tools thatyou might recommend, So I'm in therapy.
That has definitely helped to shift how I think about life and situation.
(11:53):
Through that, I've learned, like I said, to really look for those moments of gratitude andto constantly every day.
try to center myself in that.
And that really helps me get through.
How do you center yourself in that?
Yeah, so like in the morning, I'll think about things that I'm grateful for.
(12:14):
Here's the other piece to it.
If like, honestly, like there are people that are like, man, I'm just so grateful for thatperson.
And I will either text them or like if it's a person at work.
I'll literally walk up to him like, I just want to you know that I'm just so grateful foryou and give him an example of a time that whatever I was thinking, and that has really
(12:35):
shifted.
When I'm having a bad day or I feel like that person to express gratitude to others hasreally been a big energy thing for me, Prashan, and I've really enjoyed that.
I want to be better at doing it with.
not just colleagues, family.
Because I do really think I take them for granted.
(12:57):
OK.
You have an amazing family.
I know.
And you've had an amazing family for a while.
So I'm hearing that one of the ways you're really good at showing people you'reappreciative of them is with colleagues and with your friends.
But a growth edge for you would be to be able to speak more of that life back into yourfamily.
Yeah.
Because they do a lot.
They do.
(13:17):
You all do a lot for each other.
When I really think about it, our village is strong.
In order to keep that village strong, I need to start pouring back into it as it's pouringto me.
Hold on.
Okay.
Yeah.
I love that.
Gratitude is one of the things that's been proven to be really effective in shifting ourenergy to boosting our self -esteem, but also really helping when we're feeling depressed
(13:42):
and overwhelmed.
There are people who might reach out to me with gratitude by email or at the end of asession, or they might message me on social media.
And I usually save those things.
And then when I'm having a really rough day, then I can kind of pull from that and ask asa reminder, as like a motivation to keep going.
(14:02):
Another tool that we love are affirmations and information.
So an affirmation is only say, you know, I'm strong, I'm powerful.
And information is...
Flip on that.
Some people feel like affirmations feel false or that it just doesn't resonate with them.
Like it's hard for them to believe.
Kind of as Lisa shared, it was hard for her to believe, even though people were tellingher she's awesome.
(14:26):
It was hard for her to really receive that.
So an information is a flip on that.
And it utilizes a couple of tools that our brain naturally does, where if we're thinkingabout something not being true, then our brain wants to kind of make it true.
Our brain starts to question it.
So an information would be, what if I can get through this?
(14:47):
What if I'm powerful?
And then we start to think about the ways that we're powerful.
We start to think about the ways we can get through something.
How did I know that I was that girl?
I knew I was that girl because I had to love myself.
And I came from a home where I didn't really receive that from parental figures.
(15:11):
I mean, I had a lot of love pushed on me by my siblings and other people, like friends andpeople that were in the community.
But like, just, I knew I had to do that for myself.
And so, yeah, and I had access to mirrors and I could see how brilliant I was, you know?
So I did have a lot of people who poured love into me, and that certainly helped.
(15:34):
And then just not playing about myself.
So yeah, I was like, very clearly could see how I'm in a room full of people who aredifferent than I am, and I bring value to this space.
Like they're fortunate to have me in here.
And that's one of the things that I share with people all the time is that most of us areelevating each room that we're entering.
(15:55):
And for us to kind of really center that and live in that.
I know some people kind of think like, I belong in this room or they start to comparethemselves with other, but instead of me comparing myself with others, I don't need to do
that.
If anything, I can be inspired if someone is doing something really awesome andincredible.
I can be like, wow, that's so cool.
Like that's inspiring.
But I feel like there's enough for everyone and we all have such different talents andstrengths that my mind doesn't go there, but it definitely goes to girl, you should just
(16:26):
see yourself in that mirror.
girl, you know, it definitely goes to that.
And so just pouring a lot of love in to me has helped me to recognize I'm that girl.
And then also having people who are doing what Lisa's talking about, where they're like,hey, I see this in you.
I'm really appreciative of this today.
And then that just kind of really filling me in a way that I am forever grateful for.
(17:03):
So on that note, Elisa, thank you for joining us.
We love you being here.
You are a fan favorite and people are often trying to guess who Elisa Holmes is.
If you know, know.
Thank you for joining us on the podcast, Embolden with Jessica.
If you're not already, like and follow us on whatever platform you listen to your podcaston so that you're able to get our updates.
(17:27):
Also be sure to follow us on social media.
We are on Instagram at Embolden with Jessica.
and we'll talk to you next time.
All right, bye.
Thanks for having me.
Hello, welcome to Emboldened with Jessica.
Today we have a very special guest, Lisa Holmes.
Lisa, welcome.
Hello, everyone.
Yes, well, today we're gonna be getting into some things, okay?
And we're gonna be talking about being that girl.
And just to kind of go over a definition of what is that girl?
What does that mean?
(00:40):
When we think about that girl, we're thinking about someone who is competent, who hasstyle, humor, someone who takes up space.
Someone who is unapologetically themselves.
What do you think of when you think of someone who's that girl?
Honestly, I always think that you are that girl.
I've always thought that that's who you were.
(01:00):
I always wanted to do all those things.
As I've gotten older, I definitely have accepted that and embraced it.
And it has been wonderful.
Embraced that you are that girl.
That I am that girl.
Yes, because you are.
I get it now.
-huh.
And so part of being that girl also includes knowing your worth, catching up to how theworld is already viewing you, the way your friends, your loved ones are viewing you, and
(01:27):
really standing in that power.
And so Lisa, you came to mind because there was, we were all hanging out having drinks asone does.
And we were talking about what was going on for you.
And you said that something occurred as you were dating where you realized, wow.
I am that girl.
(01:47):
Can you tell us about what happened?
Yes.
So what I realized was when I look at my life and my accomplishments, I would want to dateme.
I would want to be with me.
I would not want to let me go.
So in this particular instance, I was dating this guy who was younger and I was like, man,when I was his age, if I had met a 40 year old who had his stuff together, you wouldn't
(02:14):
tell me nothing.
So it never occurred to me that the tables could flip and that somebody could feel thatsame way about me.
then when I finally said, well, that's what this is, then I was able to navigate it a lotbetter because now I can stand and what I now know is true and both know is true.
(02:36):
So I was able to say, hey, I get it.
But at this age and stage,
I'm over growing people.
I want us to grow together.
I know that's right.
You know, the other thing that you practice that I think is a really beautiful practice isyou've now developed this way when there's a celebration for you that you will ask people
(02:59):
to do a speech about you as a way for you to kind of really know and not wait to receiveyour flowers to really know like, what are you thinking about me?
What inspired you to start that practice?
Okay, so a lot of people are dying, as we know, and I just really have been in spaces
(03:20):
in places where I have had the opportunity to be celebrated on a regular basis.
And I love how that feels.
So I have made it, my therapist has also made it, a point to express gratitude whenever Ican.
So I am constantly pouring into people.
(03:40):
And it really, really has changed the course and trajectory of my life.
And it just really like...
and tumbles and stops people to say, what do I appreciate about that person?
Because I have like moments in my life where I start to think about how grateful I am forpeople.
And now I'm not waiting, I'm texting them.
(04:03):
I'm finding a network.
I'm going over to their house and saying, hey, I just wanna let you know how much Iappreciate you.
And the way that that just changes people's demeanor is really powerful.
And that is what I want people to live in.
Cause we can live in all the other spaces, but I want people to be encouraged.
I want them to live in its positive spaces and places.
(04:24):
And I want to help be a part of that.
So for my birthdays, I asked for speed juice.
People have been very adverse to giving them, but yeah, that's my thing.
Like I want everybody to.
know that they're that person, that woman, that man, whatever.
I want you to know that you're that person.
I don't want you to feel like me who had to guess for years.
(04:47):
I always heard it in the rumblings, but I didn't believe it.
So I want to be that rumbling that gets so loud that you have to hear it.
You have to face it.
Yes.
Okay.
Thank you for sharing that.
I just think that's a beautiful practice and it speaks to part of what you really enjoy isfor everyone to hear it, for it to be a collective sharing.
And you're not shrinking like, you just can do this in a card, like, or you can just dothis on the side.
(05:12):
Like you really want a celebration.
Yeah.
And I think also as women that are not married, a lot of times we don't get a lot ofcelebrations.
Right.
And so it looks different.
And so making sure we're honoring people's needs.
So you're talking a little bit about catching up into how the world sees you.
(05:34):
And I think this is something that is really common for lot of people where a lot of otherpeople are speaking life into them or they're telling them positive things and they think
that that person is maybe lying or trying to flatter them.
How do you know the difference?
How do you know someone's just blowing sulk up your behind or if it's really genuine?
Yeah.
How do you tell the difference?
(05:55):
Honestly, it depends on who it's coming from, right?
I've come to learn that there are just truly toxic people who don't mean what they say.
those don't feel very good.
even if it's like the best compliment you've received in your entire life, they don't feelthe same and you really can feel that.
(06:16):
Yes.
So honoring and listening to your body in terms of does it feel like this aligns?
Like, does this feel like it's true for it?
Does it feel kind of slurmy?
Are they trying to get something from me?
And also, am I hearing these compliments from other people?
If I'm hearing compliments from different people in different settings and it's the samething, then I can probably trust that this is who I am.
(06:39):
There's this thing called the Strength Finder, and you can pay to go online or to buy thebook and learn about different strengths.
But there's another tool that I prefer.
It's free.
It's called Hi5, H -I -G -H, and then the number five.
and it allows you to also search for your strengths.
But what I really like about it is that you can also send them out to people that youknow, and they can do it based off of what they find your strengths to be.
(07:05):
So now again, a way for you to compare.
I think my strengths are this, my best friend is telling me this, my sibling is telling methis.
And so it also kind of gives you something to work with about, man, okay, this is an areaof strength for me.
So, when did you know you were that girl?
(07:26):
Yeah, it took me some time.
It's really just been the last couple years where I've owned it.
Before I think that I just, I felt like it was fleeting.
I never really understood that it's always there.
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter how much I use it, it's always gonna be there.
Yesterday I got a free car wash.
you did?
Cause you're charming.
(07:47):
I got ribs.
Yes.
And so these are the things I've come to learn about myself is that
Literally, it takes talking to people, which is something you I was adverse to for years.
was very shy, very introverted.
Which is so loud to think about.
like my profession has made me step out of that and made me step up in places.
(08:12):
But like I said, it's something that I finally realized is here to stay.
And now I'm...
nurturing it to make sure that it's something I always have.
How are you moving to life now that you're aware that you're that girl?
(08:32):
Like I'm really just trying to enhance myself.
Like I like to make sure that I look a certain way.
You always look amazing.
mean, model ready.
You're always just stunning.
I try.
Yeah.
It wasn't always like that.
Really?
It was always like that.
Like at times I didn't really care how I looked.
Maybe like when you were younger, school.
(08:53):
High school.
Yes.
Yeah.
As an adult, I really like
found my style, really figured out what everyone knew was my face and my hair.
And it works.
Do you think some of that in high school and middle school was, A, related to maybe someconfidence, but B, also we have less resources.
We were on that struggle bus.
So, I mean, we have more you can do a little more with what you got.
(09:20):
What would you say to the old you, I would say continue to surround yourself with peoplewho celebrate you.
Not everybody's for you.
I know that's right.
And you're not for everybody.
Ooh, that was big.
Because I think that, yeah.
Lisa, let's talk about that.
(09:41):
Because I felt like there were some people that you were trying to drag into yourelevation, into your growth.
They just weren't where you were.
And they were wearing you down.
You know me, I'm quick to cut up.
So, yeah, what has shifted in that for you?
People are dying.
would doubt this.
(10:02):
It's just a space where I realized that I can't keep.
doing this, it literally is hurting my soul.
Yeah.
I realized that those people were not serving me.
Now it's doing me disservice to myself by keeping them around.
What do mean?
And your breathing was hurting.
Yeah, it was hurting me to my core.
(10:24):
Like, I remember coming here and just complaining and complaining and complaining.
I don't like that.
I mean, there's one thing I could kick you were talking about.
yeah, I'm planning for hours about the same thing.
That's what you noticed when you were like, this needs to shift.
It's bringing me down, even when I'm around these people.
I'm still thinking about all the horrible things, all the different things.
(10:48):
Like there was no joy anymore.
When you can reflect back in the number of the joy you used to have with people and it'sgone, it's over.
I think that's critical, right?
To be aware that there are people who make us feel lighter and they're fun.
And it doesn't mean that there's not hard.
moments with them, or maybe they're navigating some difficult things and we hold space forthem.
(11:10):
But also knowing that they're people who just always feel down.
Like, they're just always complaining.
Like, they act like life is only happening to them in terrible way.
And we pick up on energy.
I mean, that's just in our nature.
And so what we're around is what we become.
And so there does get to be a point where we have to choose ourselves.
We gotta put me first.
(11:32):
What do do when you don't feel like you're that girl?
How do you build up your self -esteem?
We talked about utilizing that tool of the high five, but what are some other tools thatyou might recommend, So I'm in therapy.
That has definitely helped to shift how I think about life and situation.
(11:53):
Through that, I've learned, like I said, to really look for those moments of gratitude andto constantly every day.
try to center myself in that.
And that really helps me get through.
How do you center yourself in that?
Yeah, so like in the morning, I'll think about things that I'm grateful for.
(12:14):
Here's the other piece to it.
If like, honestly, like there are people that are like, man, I'm just so grateful for thatperson.
And I will either text them or like if it's a person at work.
I'll literally walk up to him like, I just want to you know that I'm just so grateful foryou and give him an example of a time that whatever I was thinking, and that has really
(12:35):
shifted.
When I'm having a bad day or I feel like that person to express gratitude to others hasreally been a big energy thing for me, Prashan, and I've really enjoyed that.
I want to be better at doing it with.
not just colleagues, family.
Because I do really think I take them for granted.
(12:57):
OK.
You have an amazing family.
I know.
And you've had an amazing family for a while.
So I'm hearing that one of the ways you're really good at showing people you'reappreciative of them is with colleagues and with your friends.
But a growth edge for you would be to be able to speak more of that life back into yourfamily.
Yeah.
Because they do a lot.
They do.
(13:17):
You all do a lot for each other.
When I really think about it, our village is strong.
In order to keep that village strong, I need to start pouring back into it as it's pouringto me.
Hold on.
Okay.
Yeah.
I love that.
Gratitude is one of the things that's been proven to be really effective in shifting ourenergy to boosting our self -esteem, but also really helping when we're feeling depressed
(13:42):
and overwhelmed.
There are people who might reach out to me with gratitude by email or at the end of asession, or they might message me on social media.
And I usually save those things.
And then when I'm having a really rough day, then I can kind of pull from that and ask asa reminder, as like a motivation to keep going.
(14:02):
Another tool that we love are affirmations and information.
So an affirmation is only say, you know, I'm strong, I'm powerful.
And information is...
Flip on that.
Some people feel like affirmations feel false or that it just doesn't resonate with them.
Like it's hard for them to believe.
Kind of as Lisa shared, it was hard for her to believe, even though people were tellingher she's awesome.
(14:26):
It was hard for her to really receive that.
So an information is a flip on that.
And it utilizes a couple of tools that our brain naturally does, where if we're thinkingabout something not being true, then our brain wants to kind of make it true.
Our brain starts to question it.
So an information would be, what if I can get through this?
(14:47):
What if I'm powerful?
And then we start to think about the ways that we're powerful.
We start to think about the ways we can get through something.
How did I know that I was that girl?
I knew I was that girl because I had to love myself.
And I came from a home where I didn't really receive that from parental figures.
(15:11):
I mean, I had a lot of love pushed on me by my siblings and other people, like friends andpeople that were in the community.
But like, just, I knew I had to do that for myself.
And so, yeah, and I had access to mirrors and I could see how brilliant I was, you know?
So I did have a lot of people who poured love into me, and that certainly helped.
(15:34):
And then just not playing about myself.
So yeah, I was like, very clearly could see how I'm in a room full of people who aredifferent than I am, and I bring value to this space.
Like they're fortunate to have me in here.
And that's one of the things that I share with people all the time is that most of us areelevating each room that we're entering.
(15:55):
And for us to kind of really center that and live in that.
I know some people kind of think like, I belong in this room or they start to comparethemselves with other, but instead of me comparing myself with others, I don't need to do
that.
If anything, I can be inspired if someone is doing something really awesome andincredible.
I can be like, wow, that's so cool.
Like that's inspiring.
But I feel like there's enough for everyone and we all have such different talents andstrengths that my mind doesn't go there, but it definitely goes to girl, you should just
(16:26):
see yourself in that mirror.
girl, you know, it definitely goes to that.
And so just pouring a lot of love in to me has helped me to recognize I'm that girl.
And then also having people who are doing what Lisa's talking about, where they're like,hey, I see this in you.
I'm really appreciative of this today.
And then that just kind of really filling me in a way that I am forever grateful for.
(17:03):
So on that note, Elisa, thank you for joining us.
We love you being here.
You are a fan favorite and people are often trying to guess who Elisa Holmes is.
If you know, know.
Thank you for joining us on the podcast, Embolden with Jessica.
If you're not already, like and follow us on whatever platform you listen to your podcaston so that you're able to get our updates.
(17:27):
Also be sure to follow us on social media.
We are on Instagram at Embolden with Jessica.
and we'll talk to you next time.
All right, bye.
Thanks for having me.
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