July 4, 2024 • 18 mins
Summary:
Brace yourselves for an honest and hilarious chat with Jessica and Ariele as we dive into the summer dating scene and the art of being 'outside'. Jessica breaks down the essentials of setting clear intentions and being real with yourself and your dates. We also discuss the importance of setting ground rules with friends to keep everyone safe while having fun. From reconnecting with exes ('circling the block') to dealing with guys who expect financial indulgence ('drizzle drizzle'), and being upfront about what you want ('applying pressure'), this episode covers it all. Tune in as we wrap up with a lively discussion on the traits we crave in a summer fling. This is your go-to guide for a summer of love, laughter, and liberation!
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Chapters:
00:00 Dating in the Summer: Being 'Outside'
01:34 Setting Intentions and Being Honest
07:31 Exploring 'Circling the Block' and 'Applying Pressure'
13:59 Desired Traits for a Summer Partner
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Credits:
Host: Jessica Jackson
Produced by: Ariele
Edited by: Ariele
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
So thank you for joining us.
You have the fortune of hearing a littlemini episode on dating.
We outside.
This is very true.
And gosh, when was the last time we talkedabout dating?
Was that hard launch, soft launch?
it was.
So at the season opening.
Yeah, yeah.
And now we're at summer.
And what's the theme?
(00:34):
We outside.
We wanna be outside, okay?
After years of being in the house becausethe world is trying to kill us, we wanna
be outside.
We wanna have a good time.
I wanna enjoy the sunlight.
I want to end up single, okay?
I wanna be outside.
Yeah, yeah.
So with he being single, that alsotranslates to we're in the streets.
(00:58):
So by being in the streets, we need totalk about some things to be aware of.
Now we can be in the streets, but not forthe streets.
Ooh.
Yeah, semantics, I like it.
Yeah, yeah.
Unless you want to be for the streets.
But I think we could come into anagreement right here, right now with us
(01:19):
two that we, I'm not for the streets.
We know, yes, I will agree with you atthis moment and the same, you and I, I am
not for the streets.
since we are outside, we want to thinkabout what do we want to be aware of as
we're outside?
(01:40):
I think one of the things that we want tobe aware of with being outside are at the
core, at the foundation, our intentionsfor being outside.
Yes, I agree.
I think that's so critically important.
What are we about, right?
So for some people, they want to beoutside with the intention of it's summer,
they just want to have a good time.
What does a good Titan look like for you?
(02:02):
You know, that looks different.
Some people want to be outside with theintent to maybe meet a partner, a romantic
partner to be all cuddled up with.
Yeah.
And this whole thing of finding out whatyour purpose is.
I think you mentioned talking withsomebody and how they characterize the
point of dating and how they saw it asdating is for marriage.
(02:23):
And I don't think a lot of people see itthat way.
Yeah.
I thought that was so interesting that histhoughts were
that that's everyone's purpose for dating.
Everyone has different purposes fordating.
And I think it's about us not just settingour intention, but being honest with
ourselves.
Sometimes we will say, no, I want to bethat girl who can just have a bunch of
casual situationships and just have fun.
(02:46):
And we may want to be that girl, but thereality is we're not there.
Might be prone to catching feelings.
And our feelings, hoping that we couldhave changed someone that we weren't
capable of changing, we lied to ourselves.
We planned ourselves.
So yeah, we want to be honest withourselves about what is it that we're
really looking for.
And I think that that's also true.
(03:07):
That sometimes we will say that we want arelationship and we'll communicate that we
want a relationship with people and wereally don't.
We're still getting over maybe aheartbreak, maybe we are in a space where
we're not emotionally available, maybe weactually don't want to do any of the work
of being in a relationship.
We want that other person to do labor forus, but being honest, being honest with
(03:31):
ourselves, being honest with the peoplethat we might be interacting with this
summer, I think that is the healthiest,most positive way to kind of move.
And so just taking a little bit of timebefore we're outside to decide, what do I
want out of this summer?
Do I want to just meet a bunch of newpeople?
Do I want to find out what really worksfor me when it comes to dating?
(03:51):
Do I want to...
try out some sexual things I had neverexperienced that I've been curious to try.
Like, what is your attention?
Yeah, do I just want some attention?
Like, do I just want people to fawn overme?
Do I want to just be out there beingflirty and having a good time?
Do I just have an itch that needs to bescratched?
Like, yeah, have that moment, that time ofreflection with yourself to really come to
(04:17):
what you want this summer to be.
Yes.
I think that's one of the first things tobe aware of before you start to be
outside.
And then the second thing is, I think it'sreally good with whoever your crew is.
Most of us have like our summer crew,right?
We got our people that we roll with.
(04:37):
I think it's good to have some kind ofground rules about how we're gonna
navigate the summer.
And so some of those can be around safety.
Like if we're getting in a vehicle ofsomeone we don't know that we just met,
that we're taking a picture of theirdriver's license, I mean their license
plate and we're sending it to them so thatthey're aware that we're with this person.
Like if you don't hear from me in a couplehours.
(04:59):
Like there's some kind of policy.
Another policy might be like if we go backto someone's place that, you know, we have
non verbals of don't leave me alone withthis person or you don't leave, you don't
leave that house.
If we're all together, like we all staytogether, we go home together, like we
make sure everyone gets in safely.
(05:20):
I know that in my younger days, the peoplethat I mostly went out with, we always had
a way to operate where we were
very aware of each other's safety.
We're able to do what we want to, have agood time, have fun, but we didn't play
around about each other's safety.
And it's one of those things too.
I know how you just mentioned like havinga policy.
(05:41):
Sometimes things go unspoken and I don'tknow, we're just in a time now where I
think things need to be said.
Because yeah, when you do have yourhardcore crew for summer, yes, there are
guidelines and rules, but sometimes you'rewith that like,
accessory group where they aren't yourcrew and they don't fully know the rules
(06:03):
and then it's just like, okay, how am Igonna operate this because she's over
there, he's over there, we don't even knowwhere the other one is, like is this how
we're doing things?
So am I looking out for myself this wholetime?
Which I mean, it's just one of thosethings where if things aren't spoken, you
need to know what role you're playing inyour group in a way.
(06:26):
You're right, there's all kinds of.
different groups of people you mightchoose to go out with and the way you
might navigate that is a little bitdifferent.
For me, one of my policies is like, if I'mdrinking, for example, I'm never gonna
drink a lot with the group of people Idon't know very well who I just know are
gonna be thinking about my safety.
(06:46):
I'm just not going to.
I'm really not gonna drink around people Idon't know.
But figuring out what feels safe for you.
What kind of communication do we need tohave with our friends?
What is our backup plan?
Like, do I get some money on this Uber orLyft?
If I should get in the situation they needto get home, like how will I get home?
Just thinking about in advance, what doyou need this summer to feel safe?
(07:09):
So whether that's keeping condoms on you,whether that's having access to plan B,
whether that is...
Making sure your Uber rating is decent,that you will actually have them come get
you.
understand that we all have an uberreading.
I'm trying to play.
I'm like, don't you be playing with myuber reading.
(07:31):
Let's get into what's been in our feedswhen it comes to dating.
And I feel like you mentioned a lot aboutcircling the block.
Yeah, you know, I feel like I'mtraditionally, I've always been against
circling the block.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
I know, you know, you're like, you'resaying, why really?
(07:51):
Cause you know I have circled.
Well, not even that.
It's just an issue of, I guess I, I'mcoming from the point of view of, I think,
I'm going to say 95 % of people havecircled the block.
Like you go back to an ex.
For those that are not aware, when you'recircling the block, that is when you might
try to reconnect with an ex, right?
(08:12):
Maybe they reach out to you and you know,let's see how this, they're reaching out
to us, okay?
Cause we're not looking for them.
But so they reach out to you and they're,you know, they're laying off thick and
there's history.
You know, you're familiar.
Maybe there's still feelings there.
And so traditionally I've been, if ithasn't worked the first time, it's not
gonna work any other time.
(08:32):
But there have been some people likeAshanti Nelly, who have circled the block
and we see her cute belly bump and thatseems to be working for them in this
moment.
So it is working out for some people.
And I have circled the block recently acouple of times.
Of course I was not looking for a man, Iwas minding my own business, okay, as I
(08:54):
do.
But anyways, we'll see what happens.
So sometimes circling the block can be areally beautiful thing.
And sometimes you do have that longextended time in between before you go
back to them.
So you just evolve into a better person, abetter partner, fingers crossed.
(09:15):
So we'll see how that goes.
But on the not so good side is thisdrizzle drizzle.
Okay, explain to me what drizzle drizzleis.
I know about the sprinkle sprinkle, butwhat's the drizzle drizzle?
So the drizzle drizzle is weird guy's wayof
wanting to be in their soft guy era, butthinking about being in a soft guy era in
relationship to what a woman can do forthem.
(09:37):
When I think about a soft girl era, Ithink it's more about just having softness
in every part of your life, being able tohave a piece of that.
But for them, the drizzle drizzle is, youknow, a woman paying for things, a woman
spoiling and indulging them financially,and them not being really upfront about
that until like you're on the date in thebill con and then be like, drizzle
(09:58):
drizzle, you're gonna pay.
And again, I think in dating, actuallyagain, I probably never mentioned this on
High Cast, I think in dating differentpeople, I don't really think that paying
should be agenda of the day.
I think that, you know, if I ask you onthe date, then I expect to pay for the
date.
Or if it's been a really bad date and Idon't ever want to see you again, I don't
want you to pay because I don't want youto beg.
(10:20):
You're going to have to see me again.
Or, you know, maybe you beg more than theperson that you're going out with and
you're financially able to pay for or...
maybe you're celebrating something forthem.
So I don't think that paying has to be agender thing, but these dressing journals,
guys, they're feeling like what they bringto the table is their handsomeness and
(10:40):
their charm and that they also had to getready for the date.
And so we should be paying for theircompany.
their handsomeness and their charm iswhat's coming into place.
Like they're turning the tables onpatriarchy in some weird way, but it's
still patriarchy.
Because traditionally, a woman, that'swhat she was allegedly bringing to the
(11:02):
table are her looks and charm.
That's so weird.
Let's talk more about applying pressure.
And it kinda, I feel like that definitionhas been evolving a little bit.
It initially started of just knowing whatyou want and going after it.
(11:27):
And usually that it is a person and it'sjust like, okay, this is what I want.
I want you and yeah, I'm gonna make surethat you know this and then we're going to
get together.
And if it's,
relationship wise, but just applyingpressure can go with anything in life.
Like you can apply apply pressure forliving your best life in 2024.
(11:47):
Yes, you can apply pressure to that bossthat's gonna be your last nerve.
You know that you're the one that knowshow to do everything at work.
And so you're gonna apply pressure to getthe time off that you need or you're gonna
apply pressure and get the raise that youknow you deserve.
Yeah, I think the old school term for mewas more like a woman who really wants to
settle down and get married and her guydoesn't want to get married.
(12:08):
So
she's gonna kinda give him the ultimatum,kinda like applying pressure to get a
commitment from a guy.
I have like that time for that.
Either you're committed and you wanna becommitted or you don't.
I think of applying pressure as just likeyou said, being really directive about
what you want.
Like, you know, looking a guy down thatyou want and letting him know like, hey, I
(12:28):
want you, being very flirty, being verydirect and forward.
You don't have to guess what I'm thinking,you know?
And so like you said, it also can be usedin...
outside of being outside.
Having to pair so well with knowing yourintentions.
Once you apply pressure to that, you canusually get what you want.
(12:55):
You know, it was funny, I recently sawthis podcast episode, I can't remember her
name, and she was talking about applyingpressure in the sense of like, girl, like
post all your hot looks, like applypressure, like let them know that you are,
you single, like apply pressure, like shewas like, apply pressure, apply pressure,
(13:15):
and I was like, you know what, I'm not madat this.
I don't believe in posting something toget a guy's attention, because we don't
need to do that.
They're already watching, let's be honest.
And I just don't, I don't think that weneed to move in that way, but this sense
of, you know, we need to like hold back,like wear your cute outfits, like who
cares?
(13:36):
Like, don't be so worried about like maybesomeone's not gonna approve of this.
Just like apply pressure, like be you, belike, be on 15 all of the time, that
that's how we like to move.
Yeah, I totally agree with that statement.
That is, that's nice.
Let's go look at our dig back.
(13:59):
Okay, so we've all heard the viral hit,viral -ness of the woman talking about her
summer and it got turned into a song.
How it was like the six -five, blue eyes,guy in finance.
So what would your traits be if yourwanted traits for summer, for the summer
(14:21):
were put into a song?
I needed to smell really good.
And not just like, he's wearing a nicefragrance, but like...
His pheromones, like his natural smell,smells good to me.
Also, he does need to have good chat.
He needs to have good banter.
Like when I talk to him, it should be fun,it should be playful.
(14:41):
Like, he should get it.
Like, we should be about five, right?
Also, he needs to be fine, of course,naturally.
He needs to be intelligent.
He needs to be someone who is likecompassionate.
This list could go on.
I don't care about his height.
I mean...
He can't be late.
I'm sorry, short kings are great, but Ipersonally am not attracted to a short
(15:03):
king, generally speaking.
P .S.
I think those are the highlights, youknow, what are your bars?
Mine is, if I was going off of the actualsong, if I kept it to that length, I'm
gonna go with 652, though in general Iactually don't, I don't care.
(15:25):
okay.
I put beard.
But even then I still don't care aboutthat.
But I would like some type of facial hair.
That's, it's very nice.
And I mean, we can throw in a littleweird, but it's one of those things where
I'm probably weird enough.
So it'd be nice to have not a foil, butlike somebody who's the straight man to my
(15:48):
weird, awkward girl.
Ooh, if he's even like a mildly anextrovert, not overly.
extroverted but so he can work the roomand I'll be sitting in a corner somewhere
that'd be great.
That's so extra that he needs you to workthe room with him.
Right.
And he knows it's one of those things,like have you ever seen a couple where
(16:11):
when you're at a party and they'reseparate, but you can get a sense that
they know where the other one is at alltimes.
There's like this string or antenna thatjust keeps them connected at all times.
That is such a beautiful thing.
And I would love that.
I quite like that too.
Yeah.
you know, speaking of parties and asignificant other, I'm quite a significant
(16:32):
other, like kind of died to you through acrowd.
I really like that, because to be thatperson that's blazing the cab is a lot of
work.
That passenger princess situation.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a beautiful thing.
I think it's one of those things for mepersonally where I have had to be in
control and independent and blaze my ownpath with everything.
So if I can just sit and be guided, that'dbe so awesome and so restful and so
(16:59):
easeful and just awesome.
That reminds me of that question of like,what is a non -sexual thing that a guy
does that's just like really like, mygosh, that's so nice.
I think that's up there.
Yeah, I can see that.
I think it's up there when they remembersomething that you've talked to them about
that was a baby super significant, butthey're just remembering a detail, kind of
(17:23):
like in Bridgerton where he went about herthat song.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that is that is good stuff.
it is good stuff.
Very good stuff.
I love it.
Are you enjoying the show?
Subscribe and review to let us know whatyou think and share this episode with a
(17:46):
friend in your favorite podcast app.
Thanks so much for listening to emboldenedwith Jessica.
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Facebook until next time.
So thank you for joining us.
You have the fortune of hearing a littlemini episode on dating.
We outside.
This is very true.
And gosh, when was the last time we talkedabout dating?
Was that hard launch, soft launch?
it was.
So at the season opening.
Yeah, yeah.
And now we're at summer.
And what's the theme?
(00:34):
We outside.
We wanna be outside, okay?
After years of being in the house becausethe world is trying to kill us, we wanna
be outside.
We wanna have a good time.
I wanna enjoy the sunlight.
I want to end up single, okay?
I wanna be outside.
Yeah, yeah.
So with he being single, that alsotranslates to we're in the streets.
(00:58):
So by being in the streets, we need totalk about some things to be aware of.
Now we can be in the streets, but not forthe streets.
Ooh.
Yeah, semantics, I like it.
Yeah, yeah.
Unless you want to be for the streets.
But I think we could come into anagreement right here, right now with us
(01:19):
two that we, I'm not for the streets.
We know, yes, I will agree with you atthis moment and the same, you and I, I am
not for the streets.
since we are outside, we want to thinkabout what do we want to be aware of as
we're outside?
(01:40):
I think one of the things that we want tobe aware of with being outside are at the
core, at the foundation, our intentionsfor being outside.
Yes, I agree.
I think that's so critically important.
What are we about, right?
So for some people, they want to beoutside with the intention of it's summer,
they just want to have a good time.
What does a good Titan look like for you?
(02:02):
You know, that looks different.
Some people want to be outside with theintent to maybe meet a partner, a romantic
partner to be all cuddled up with.
Yeah.
And this whole thing of finding out whatyour purpose is.
I think you mentioned talking withsomebody and how they characterize the
point of dating and how they saw it asdating is for marriage.
(02:23):
And I don't think a lot of people see itthat way.
Yeah.
I thought that was so interesting that histhoughts were
that that's everyone's purpose for dating.
Everyone has different purposes fordating.
And I think it's about us not just settingour intention, but being honest with
ourselves.
Sometimes we will say, no, I want to bethat girl who can just have a bunch of
casual situationships and just have fun.
(02:46):
And we may want to be that girl, but thereality is we're not there.
Might be prone to catching feelings.
And our feelings, hoping that we couldhave changed someone that we weren't
capable of changing, we lied to ourselves.
We planned ourselves.
So yeah, we want to be honest withourselves about what is it that we're
really looking for.
And I think that that's also true.
(03:07):
That sometimes we will say that we want arelationship and we'll communicate that we
want a relationship with people and wereally don't.
We're still getting over maybe aheartbreak, maybe we are in a space where
we're not emotionally available, maybe weactually don't want to do any of the work
of being in a relationship.
We want that other person to do labor forus, but being honest, being honest with
(03:31):
ourselves, being honest with the peoplethat we might be interacting with this
summer, I think that is the healthiest,most positive way to kind of move.
And so just taking a little bit of timebefore we're outside to decide, what do I
want out of this summer?
Do I want to just meet a bunch of newpeople?
Do I want to find out what really worksfor me when it comes to dating?
(03:51):
Do I want to...
try out some sexual things I had neverexperienced that I've been curious to try.
Like, what is your attention?
Yeah, do I just want some attention?
Like, do I just want people to fawn overme?
Do I want to just be out there beingflirty and having a good time?
Do I just have an itch that needs to bescratched?
Like, yeah, have that moment, that time ofreflection with yourself to really come to
(04:17):
what you want this summer to be.
Yes.
I think that's one of the first things tobe aware of before you start to be
outside.
And then the second thing is, I think it'sreally good with whoever your crew is.
Most of us have like our summer crew,right?
We got our people that we roll with.
(04:37):
I think it's good to have some kind ofground rules about how we're gonna
navigate the summer.
And so some of those can be around safety.
Like if we're getting in a vehicle ofsomeone we don't know that we just met,
that we're taking a picture of theirdriver's license, I mean their license
plate and we're sending it to them so thatthey're aware that we're with this person.
Like if you don't hear from me in a couplehours.
(04:59):
Like there's some kind of policy.
Another policy might be like if we go backto someone's place that, you know, we have
non verbals of don't leave me alone withthis person or you don't leave, you don't
leave that house.
If we're all together, like we all staytogether, we go home together, like we
make sure everyone gets in safely.
(05:20):
I know that in my younger days, the peoplethat I mostly went out with, we always had
a way to operate where we were
very aware of each other's safety.
We're able to do what we want to, have agood time, have fun, but we didn't play
around about each other's safety.
And it's one of those things too.
I know how you just mentioned like havinga policy.
(05:41):
Sometimes things go unspoken and I don'tknow, we're just in a time now where I
think things need to be said.
Because yeah, when you do have yourhardcore crew for summer, yes, there are
guidelines and rules, but sometimes you'rewith that like,
accessory group where they aren't yourcrew and they don't fully know the rules
(06:03):
and then it's just like, okay, how am Igonna operate this because she's over
there, he's over there, we don't even knowwhere the other one is, like is this how
we're doing things?
So am I looking out for myself this wholetime?
Which I mean, it's just one of thosethings where if things aren't spoken, you
need to know what role you're playing inyour group in a way.
(06:26):
You're right, there's all kinds of.
different groups of people you mightchoose to go out with and the way you
might navigate that is a little bitdifferent.
For me, one of my policies is like, if I'mdrinking, for example, I'm never gonna
drink a lot with the group of people Idon't know very well who I just know are
gonna be thinking about my safety.
(06:46):
I'm just not going to.
I'm really not gonna drink around people Idon't know.
But figuring out what feels safe for you.
What kind of communication do we need tohave with our friends?
What is our backup plan?
Like, do I get some money on this Uber orLyft?
If I should get in the situation they needto get home, like how will I get home?
Just thinking about in advance, what doyou need this summer to feel safe?
(07:09):
So whether that's keeping condoms on you,whether that's having access to plan B,
whether that is...
Making sure your Uber rating is decent,that you will actually have them come get
you.
understand that we all have an uberreading.
I'm trying to play.
I'm like, don't you be playing with myuber reading.
(07:31):
Let's get into what's been in our feedswhen it comes to dating.
And I feel like you mentioned a lot aboutcircling the block.
Yeah, you know, I feel like I'mtraditionally, I've always been against
circling the block.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
I know, you know, you're like, you'resaying, why really?
(07:51):
Cause you know I have circled.
Well, not even that.
It's just an issue of, I guess I, I'mcoming from the point of view of, I think,
I'm going to say 95 % of people havecircled the block.
Like you go back to an ex.
For those that are not aware, when you'recircling the block, that is when you might
try to reconnect with an ex, right?
(08:12):
Maybe they reach out to you and you know,let's see how this, they're reaching out
to us, okay?
Cause we're not looking for them.
But so they reach out to you and they're,you know, they're laying off thick and
there's history.
You know, you're familiar.
Maybe there's still feelings there.
And so traditionally I've been, if ithasn't worked the first time, it's not
gonna work any other time.
(08:32):
But there have been some people likeAshanti Nelly, who have circled the block
and we see her cute belly bump and thatseems to be working for them in this
moment.
So it is working out for some people.
And I have circled the block recently acouple of times.
Of course I was not looking for a man, Iwas minding my own business, okay, as I
(08:54):
do.
But anyways, we'll see what happens.
So sometimes circling the block can be areally beautiful thing.
And sometimes you do have that longextended time in between before you go
back to them.
So you just evolve into a better person, abetter partner, fingers crossed.
(09:15):
So we'll see how that goes.
But on the not so good side is thisdrizzle drizzle.
Okay, explain to me what drizzle drizzleis.
I know about the sprinkle sprinkle, butwhat's the drizzle drizzle?
So the drizzle drizzle is weird guy's wayof
wanting to be in their soft guy era, butthinking about being in a soft guy era in
relationship to what a woman can do forthem.
(09:37):
When I think about a soft girl era, Ithink it's more about just having softness
in every part of your life, being able tohave a piece of that.
But for them, the drizzle drizzle is, youknow, a woman paying for things, a woman
spoiling and indulging them financially,and them not being really upfront about
that until like you're on the date in thebill con and then be like, drizzle
(09:58):
drizzle, you're gonna pay.
And again, I think in dating, actuallyagain, I probably never mentioned this on
High Cast, I think in dating differentpeople, I don't really think that paying
should be agenda of the day.
I think that, you know, if I ask you onthe date, then I expect to pay for the
date.
Or if it's been a really bad date and Idon't ever want to see you again, I don't
want you to pay because I don't want youto beg.
(10:20):
You're going to have to see me again.
Or, you know, maybe you beg more than theperson that you're going out with and
you're financially able to pay for or...
maybe you're celebrating something forthem.
So I don't think that paying has to be agender thing, but these dressing journals,
guys, they're feeling like what they bringto the table is their handsomeness and
(10:40):
their charm and that they also had to getready for the date.
And so we should be paying for theircompany.
their handsomeness and their charm iswhat's coming into place.
Like they're turning the tables onpatriarchy in some weird way, but it's
still patriarchy.
Because traditionally, a woman, that'swhat she was allegedly bringing to the
(11:02):
table are her looks and charm.
That's so weird.
Let's talk more about applying pressure.
And it kinda, I feel like that definitionhas been evolving a little bit.
It initially started of just knowing whatyou want and going after it.
(11:27):
And usually that it is a person and it'sjust like, okay, this is what I want.
I want you and yeah, I'm gonna make surethat you know this and then we're going to
get together.
And if it's,
relationship wise, but just applyingpressure can go with anything in life.
Like you can apply apply pressure forliving your best life in 2024.
(11:47):
Yes, you can apply pressure to that bossthat's gonna be your last nerve.
You know that you're the one that knowshow to do everything at work.
And so you're gonna apply pressure to getthe time off that you need or you're gonna
apply pressure and get the raise that youknow you deserve.
Yeah, I think the old school term for mewas more like a woman who really wants to
settle down and get married and her guydoesn't want to get married.
(12:08):
So
she's gonna kinda give him the ultimatum,kinda like applying pressure to get a
commitment from a guy.
I have like that time for that.
Either you're committed and you wanna becommitted or you don't.
I think of applying pressure as just likeyou said, being really directive about
what you want.
Like, you know, looking a guy down thatyou want and letting him know like, hey, I
(12:28):
want you, being very flirty, being verydirect and forward.
You don't have to guess what I'm thinking,you know?
And so like you said, it also can be usedin...
outside of being outside.
Having to pair so well with knowing yourintentions.
Once you apply pressure to that, you canusually get what you want.
(12:55):
You know, it was funny, I recently sawthis podcast episode, I can't remember her
name, and she was talking about applyingpressure in the sense of like, girl, like
post all your hot looks, like applypressure, like let them know that you are,
you single, like apply pressure, like shewas like, apply pressure, apply pressure,
(13:15):
and I was like, you know what, I'm not madat this.
I don't believe in posting something toget a guy's attention, because we don't
need to do that.
They're already watching, let's be honest.
And I just don't, I don't think that weneed to move in that way, but this sense
of, you know, we need to like hold back,like wear your cute outfits, like who
cares?
(13:36):
Like, don't be so worried about like maybesomeone's not gonna approve of this.
Just like apply pressure, like be you, belike, be on 15 all of the time, that
that's how we like to move.
Yeah, I totally agree with that statement.
That is, that's nice.
Let's go look at our dig back.
(13:59):
Okay, so we've all heard the viral hit,viral -ness of the woman talking about her
summer and it got turned into a song.
How it was like the six -five, blue eyes,guy in finance.
So what would your traits be if yourwanted traits for summer, for the summer
(14:21):
were put into a song?
I needed to smell really good.
And not just like, he's wearing a nicefragrance, but like...
His pheromones, like his natural smell,smells good to me.
Also, he does need to have good chat.
He needs to have good banter.
Like when I talk to him, it should be fun,it should be playful.
(14:41):
Like, he should get it.
Like, we should be about five, right?
Also, he needs to be fine, of course,naturally.
He needs to be intelligent.
He needs to be someone who is likecompassionate.
This list could go on.
I don't care about his height.
I mean...
He can't be late.
I'm sorry, short kings are great, but Ipersonally am not attracted to a short
(15:03):
king, generally speaking.
P .S.
I think those are the highlights, youknow, what are your bars?
Mine is, if I was going off of the actualsong, if I kept it to that length, I'm
gonna go with 652, though in general Iactually don't, I don't care.
(15:25):
okay.
I put beard.
But even then I still don't care aboutthat.
But I would like some type of facial hair.
That's, it's very nice.
And I mean, we can throw in a littleweird, but it's one of those things where
I'm probably weird enough.
So it'd be nice to have not a foil, butlike somebody who's the straight man to my
(15:48):
weird, awkward girl.
Ooh, if he's even like a mildly anextrovert, not overly.
extroverted but so he can work the roomand I'll be sitting in a corner somewhere
that'd be great.
That's so extra that he needs you to workthe room with him.
Right.
And he knows it's one of those things,like have you ever seen a couple where
(16:11):
when you're at a party and they'reseparate, but you can get a sense that
they know where the other one is at alltimes.
There's like this string or antenna thatjust keeps them connected at all times.
That is such a beautiful thing.
And I would love that.
I quite like that too.
Yeah.
you know, speaking of parties and asignificant other, I'm quite a significant
(16:32):
other, like kind of died to you through acrowd.
I really like that, because to be thatperson that's blazing the cab is a lot of
work.
That passenger princess situation.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a beautiful thing.
I think it's one of those things for mepersonally where I have had to be in
control and independent and blaze my ownpath with everything.
So if I can just sit and be guided, that'dbe so awesome and so restful and so
(16:59):
easeful and just awesome.
That reminds me of that question of like,what is a non -sexual thing that a guy
does that's just like really like, mygosh, that's so nice.
I think that's up there.
Yeah, I can see that.
I think it's up there when they remembersomething that you've talked to them about
that was a baby super significant, butthey're just remembering a detail, kind of
(17:23):
like in Bridgerton where he went about herthat song.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that is that is good stuff.
it is good stuff.
Very good stuff.
I love it.
Are you enjoying the show?
Subscribe and review to let us know whatyou think and share this episode with a
(17:46):
friend in your favorite podcast app.
Thanks so much for listening to emboldenedwith Jessica.
If you want to keep up with us, followemboldened with Jessica on Instagram or
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