1229: From Proving You’re Good to Being Fully Alive with Elise Loehnen

In this episode, Heather sits down with Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior, to unpack what it really means to break free from the pressure to be “good” and start living from a place of wholeness. Together, they explore how generational and cultural conditioning shapes women’s roles, the emotional cost of over functioning, and how to rewrite the stories we’ve been taught to live by.

This conversation pulls back the curtain on the invisible scripts running your life and invites you to stop performing, start feeling, and come home to yourself.

What we cover:

🩶Why women are unconsciously conditioned to perform “goodness” (and how it shows up)

🩶The deeper fears and attachments underneath the ‘do-it-all’ identity

🩶How to begin choosing wholeness over goodness—and what makes that so emotionally uncomfortable

About Elise

Elise Loehnen is the New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread, where she interviews cultural luminaries about the big questions of today, including people like Joy Harjo, John & Julie Gottman, Dr. Gabor Maté, and Esther Perel.

In addition to On Our Best Behavior, she is the author of a corresponding workbook—Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness—with coach Courtney Smith (July 2025), and the co-author of True & False Magic, which legendary psychiatrist Phil Stutz. Elise lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam. 

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Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate? Book your audit here: https://heatherchauvin.com/audit

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We’ll pinpoint your biggest time + energy leaks, identify the top areas to focus on for quick momentum, and map out exactly what to let go of so you can reclaim your energy, your time, and your joy.

Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate? Book your audit here: https://heatherchauvin.com/audit