October 16, 2024 • 28 mins
This week we chat about how we can prepare for the next few months. The end of the year can be difficult and complicated for some of us, and anxiety-inducing for most of us. The time change, the election, the holidays, and winter are creeping up on us quickly so we offer some ideas on how to make this time of year less stressful and maybe even a little cozy.
Mentioned on the show:
-
EEDA Newsletter Vol 5, Res 20: Hurricane Relief, Black Disabled Woman Syllabus, & Opting Out of AI
- Community Care is Self Care via EEDA Pod
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
Follow the show on Instagram & find us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, & Spotify
Subscribe to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Newsletter
Sound editing by Jen Zink
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Music (00:00):
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hello, gremlins!
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I'm here for the potatoes and molasses, Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We're recording the showon October 10th, 2024.
Patricia (00:34):
First of all, before we get into anything, I don't know
if any of our listeners or ourlistener's loved ones were affected by
Hurricane Helene or Hurricane Milton.
I did post some resources forfolks if they can access them in
my newsletter at theinfophile.com.
(00:55):
I'll repost it in the show notes.
That's for Hurricane Helene.
As of the recording of this show, I don'tyet have resources for Hurricane Milton
victims, but also just know we're thinkingabout you, and we hope you're all,
and all your loved ones are, are good.
Nicole (01:12):
Yeah.
We wanted to share a littlesomething because we talked about
the upcoming turning airpodsinto hearing aids situation.
Patricia (01:21):
Yeah, last episode we talked about how you found it really
useful to use your airpods in a kindof crowded echoey room situation.
Nicole (01:31):
mm hmm
Patricia (01:31):
And then we were talking about the updates that Apple's making to
airpods to turn them into hearing aids.
And I mentioned neither of us aredeaf or hard of hearing and I'm really
interested in hearing from deaf or hardof hearing people on what they think
about this update and addition to AirPods.
(01:52):
And actually one deaf creatorI follow Her name is Raven.
I think she's bluejay19XX on Instagram.
She posted a video about her opinionsand it really got me thinking, you
know, about a bunch of different things.
One of her main concerns was calling themhearing aids, which is actually a term
(02:15):
for a medical device that is thousands ofdollars and maybe it's not as accurate.
But also thinking about like, whatare the different hearing levels
that would be able to use these?
And in what kind of situationswould people be able to use these?
And so not going to get into allthat, but I said her Instagram
(02:37):
name, I'll link into the show notes.
And it just really got me thinkingand, and it's so important to follow
content creators who aren't typicallyin your circles or communities and
really listen to what they have to say.
Nicole (02:52):
Absolutely.
We went to a Ren Faire.
Patricia (02:56):
We did.
It was a million degrees.
It was dirty.
We sang sea shanties and we ate fair food.
Nicole (03:05):
We did not eat a turkey leg, but many of our friends did.
Patricia (03:08):
Well, they tried to, they were ginormous.
Nicole (03:11):
They ate some of various turkey legs.
Both (03:14):
[Laughing]
Patricia (03:16):
They did.
And we kind of made a game ofscavenger hunt, bingo, kind of,
what would we see at the Ren Faire.
Nicole (03:26):
We saw a lot of different things.
Patricia (03:28):
Saw a lot of different things, including, there was
definitely a TARDIS there.
Nicole (03:31):
Absolutely.
Patricia (03:32):
[Chuckling]
But it was fun.
It was a great outdoors thing to dowith our friends, and I'm glad we were
finally able to take our friends whohad never been to a Ren Faire before.
Nicole (03:43):
Yeah, it was good.
It was a good experience for all.
We did not, however, go to thedinosaur pumpkin patch last weekend.
Patricia (03:51):
Yeah, there's a pumpkin patch around here that has like
huge audio animatronic dinosaurs,and just, it's a massive place.
And I've seen it on Instagram,but it was going to be like
102 degrees, so we cancelled.
Nicole (04:07):
Yeah, it's, it's been too hot to even think up until like yesterday.
Patricia (04:12):
Exactly.
Nicole (04:13):
And we don't have air conditioning, so we were already melting.
Friendly reminder to everyone, we do havea Patreon, where you can help support
the show, and help ensure we don'thave ads, and potentially interact with
Patricia on there a little more right now.
Patricia (04:31):
You literally never go on there.
Nicole (04:33):
I don't.
I know.
I'm sorry, friends.
Patricia (04:36):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:37):
I have enough, hard enough time being accountable to myself and Patricia.
Patricia (04:41):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:44):
I don't need to be accountable to the broader community yet.
Patricia (04:48):
Maybe that'll be a 2025 goal.
Nicole logs into Patreon once a month.
Both (04:54):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:57):
But we do have two levels you can support us at.
There is the Helpful Helpers level,which is $3, and is the next one
the Enthusiastic Encouragers?
Patricia (05:09):
I think it is.
Nicole (05:10):
And that's $8 a month, and that gets you access to
some additional discussions.
Patricia (05:18):
Not necessarily discussions yet, but the newsletter.
Nicole (05:20):
Oh, yeah, that gets you access to the Enthusiastic Encouragement
and Dubious Advice newsletter,which is what Patricia was talking
about earlier, where she had alreadyshared some hurricane help resources.
So you can also subscribe throughour Patreon and get access to the
kind of non-resource issues for that.
(05:44):
We also have a bookshop accessible,and through there you can always shop
for any books we mention on the show.
And support from both of thosegoes to help keeping this show ad
free, aside from the ads where wetry to sell you on supporting us so
we don't have to talk about, like,socks or mattresses or something.
Patricia (06:08):
Protein powder and meal, meal delivery services.
Nicole (06:11):
Yeah.
Patricia (06:12):
[Chuckling]
Music (06:13):
[Transitional Music]
Patricia (06:22):
Today, we want to talk about the fact that we are coming up on a
complicated time of year for a lot of us.
It is mid October.
First of all, the first thing that'sgonna kind of hit is the time change.
That's on November 3rd forplaces that do the time change.
(06:45):
I recognize not everywheredoes the time change.
Daylight savings.
But the time change happens two daysbefore the next anxiety inducing
thing for those of us in the U.
S., which is the election,and whatever comes with that.
Nicole (07:03):
[Big Exhale]
Patricia (07:04):
And that is November 5th, and then we're rolling right
into the holidays, which can behard for any number of reasons.
And then, of course, winter,which comes with its own emotional
difficulties for many folks.
Nicole (07:20):
Which is why you may soon just find me under a pile of blankets.
Both (07:25):
[Laughing]
Nicole (07:28):
But, like, just hearing about all that and, like, kind of staring
down the last couple of months of theyear can definitely be overwhelming.
And it is really easy forsome of us to like, just kind
of start spiraling on this.
But we here at the EnthusiasticEncouragement and Dubious
(07:49):
Advice headquarters
Patricia (07:50):
[Laughing]
Nicole (07:52):
have this radical idea that it doesn't have to all be horrible.
If you can find ways tostart preparing yourself now.
Patricia (08:04):
Yeah.
Nicole (08:04):
And I guess we'll talk about what that means.
Patricia (08:06):
Yeah, that's what we're going to talk about today.
But I want to start with a little bitof a refresher on the term self care.
Nicole (08:14):
That's like pedicures and stuff, right?
Patricia (08:17):
Absolutely not.
Nicole (08:18):
[giggling]
Patricia (08:19):
Audre Lorde said, quote, Caring for myself is not self
indulgence, it's self preservation, andthat is an act of political warfare.
That is to say, self care isan act of self preservation.
It's what we put in place to keep our cupsfrom being depleted in the first place.
(08:40):
A lot of the things being sold tofolks as self care is more akin to
self soothing or aftercare, right?
After we are already burned out ordepleted, which these things can also
be important, but they are different,which is why I call out the distinction.
And some of what we're going to talkabout today are things that you put
(09:03):
in place and a lot of planning, andthen some of it might be planning for
aftercare for some of these things.
Nicole (09:11):
Okay, let's talk about the election time first.
We cannot control everything thathappens, but there is a lot in
our own lives that we can control.
Us, this means making a voting plan.
We can do research.
We actually get together on Slack with agroup of friends who live nearby and who
(09:36):
also have, like, values that align withours, so we know we're all kind of on the
same page to begin with, and we go throughthe whole ballot from president all the
way down to the very, very local measures.
We talk it through, people researchdifferent aspects, try to make sure
we are being very informed aboutthe votes that we are placing.
(10:00):
And, like, we carve out a couple hoursfor this at least, and we make sure
we have snacks, and our laptops areup, so we can share chats and links,
and kind of make it almost in someways like, a little party situation.
Patricia (10:16):
It's kind of a little party situation.
Nicole (10:18):
Yeah.
Patricia (10:19):
And, you know, it's so helpful to have multiple people at
multiple computers to say like, okay,I'm looking at measure so and so, well,
this one's endorsed by this union, andthis one's endorsed by these people.
And sometimes that helps drive our votes.
Nicole (10:36):
Absolutely.
To be clear, it's notlike a very dull exercise.
Like, we make a lot of jokesand have fun with it, too.
Patricia (10:44):
Yeah.
But we vote all the way down the ballot.
And sometimes, yeah, it takes a while.
But I think the being together withpeople is what helps it feel less tedious.
Nicole (10:56):
And less daunting.
Patricia (10:57):
And less daunting.
Yeah, we have really smart friends.
[Laughing]
I think it's also important to not onlyplan like your actual voting, whether
you are going into the poll or, youknow, we usually mail in our ballots.
Early voting has started in some places,maybe you're in one of those places.
But it's really important to maybehave some things lined up for
(11:20):
election day and the day after.
It might be some friend time.
It might be some comfortshows or comfort food.
It might just be some check ins, right?
Checking in with some loved ones.
Maybe it involves some boundariesaround your own social media use which
(11:40):
I know for some people, politics istheir football, politics is their
sport, and they just consume it.
And some of us really need to bemeasured about the amount that
we take in at any given time.
I know that many of us have towork because it's on a Tuesday.
So maybe this means some boundaries aroundconversations with co workers, right?
(12:04):
Because for some people, the electionand politics are great water cooler
conversations, but for some ofus, it's just too charged because
it is our lives and our rights.
And maybe even just preparing somethingto say like, hey, I appreciate your
(12:24):
enthusiasm wanting to talk to meabout the election right now, but
I just don't have the bandwidth orspell slots or whatever you have
to have this conversation just yet.
Right?
Just saying like, hey, I don't havethe bandwidth for this right now.
Nicole (12:40):
Just gonna write that on my hand.
Patricia (12:42):
Yeah.
We'll, we'll print you out some,some business cards to hand out.
Nicole (12:46):
Have a little sign on a popsicle stick.
Patricia (12:48):
Yeah.
Nicole (12:49):
I don't have the spell slots for this conversation right now.
Patricia (12:52):
I think that would just be great to have all the time.
Nicole (12:55):
Just keep one at your desk.
Patricia (12:56):
I don't have
the spell slots for this.
Just...
Nicole (12:59):
Make it like a zoom background.
And then like, you can swipeto like hide your camera.
So you disappear and itjust shows the background.
Both (13:07):
[Laughing]
Nicole (13:10):
All of this really relates to what we talked about in an earlier episode that
was called Community Care is Self Care.
Election time can make some people feelreally connected and others feel really
adrift, depending on who you are around.
If you can, plan time with likeminded loved ones, even virtually.
(13:35):
And this might be a good thing toget on the calendar ahead of time.
And I'm gonna extra enforce this ifyou are a person who maybe lives alone,
that either way it goes, it'd probablybe a good idea to be with people.
Patricia (13:49):
Yeah, yeah.
Now that you say that, I'm like,ugh, do I make a drop in Zoom for
Nicole (13:55):
yeah
Patricia (13:56):
our loved ones for that evening?
Nicole (13:58):
Yeah.
Patricia (13:58):
Maybe.
Maybe that's something we thinkabout and get on the calendar.
So, right before the election, like Isaid, two days before, is the time change.
Personally.
I love that our plants thrive inall the light and heat, and spring
and summer produce are unmatched.
(14:21):
But I actually prefer the cold and dark.
I think I've mentioned before that I havesummer onset seasonal affective disorder.
So the recent heat wave we had here inCalifornia has been incredibly hard for
me, like meltdown o'clock every day.
Thankfully, we are recording this andit broke a couple days ago, so it's
(14:45):
finally cool enough for my brain to work.
Nicole (14:47):
Yeah.
There are plenty of resources online forhow to prepare for the time change, so we
aren't going to go over those in detailhere, but we are going to urge you to not
wait till the last minute to look them up.
Patricia, I know one of yourthings, though, is fun lighting.
Patricia (15:11):
Oh my gosh, the amount of things we have in here that light up
is almost Pee Wee's Playhouse level.
Nicole (15:20):
And you don't mean just my smile.
Patricia (15:23):
Well, that too.
Nicole (15:23):
[giggle]
Patricia (15:24):
But fairy lights everywhere.
Bulbs that we can change the color on.
Various other fun lights, like Ihave clouds that light up that are
above my desk, and I have an Ikeajack-o'-lantern lamp on my nightstand.
Nicole (15:41):
That is not just seasonal decor in our home.
Patricia (15:44):
No, that is year round.
Nicole (15:46):
Year round nightstand jack-o'-lantern.
You also recently read a book on howto handle the longer dark time and
also The Winter, which is coming.
Patricia (15:57):
Yes.
Okay, so I am, like, dying to sharethis book with everyone here, but
first I'm sharing it via Book Riot.
And they do get first dibs atcertain book recommendations of mine.
I'll be sharing it there by the end ofthe month, and I'll make a public post
(16:19):
in our Patreon when that goes live,and then I'm sure I'll be able to talk
about it in an upcoming EEDAPOD episode.
Nicole (16:26):
Can we at least know the publication date, so people
know when to look out for, like,something from Book Riot, or...
Patricia (16:35):
Sure.
It would be October 22nd?
Nicole (16:40):
Okay.
Patricia (16:40):
Yeah.
[Giggling]
Nicole (16:42):
So keep a lookout around October 22nd-ish, or that week.
Patricia (16:47):
And it'll be on the All the Books podcast.
Nicole (16:49):
All the Books podcast.
Go listen there.
We are lucky.
We have really mild winters here, and eventhough it can get chilly for us here in
Northern California, it does not snow.
Still, there are some things thathelp us get through those slow
winter days after the holidays.
(17:11):
Some of these are, like, really leaninginto the things we enjoy that are just,
like, extra enjoyable this time of year.
Big one for me?
Hot drinks.
I love a hot drink.
Patricia (17:25):
Yeah, and we're not necessarily talking about alcoholic hot drinks.
Nicole (17:29):
No.
Patricia (17:29):
Just like a hot chocolate, a nice cup of tea.
Nicole (17:33):
Your hot cider.
Patricia (17:34):
Oh hot cider!
Nicole (17:35):
Yeah, just, I love a hot drink in winter.
It is one of the best things.
Blanket nests on the sofa.
I know you just looked over at whatI'm already cooking up over here in
the corner with two blankets, witha third that's slowly migrating
from your side over to mine.
Comfort food.
(17:55):
What kind of comfort foods?
Patricia (17:57):
I mean...
Nicole (17:57):
What's on your, like, watch out list for this year
for comfort food in the winter?
Patricia (18:01):
I mean, mine is getting back to cooking beans.
It's just been too hot tostand in front of the stove.
Nicole (18:06):
Baking.
Patricia (18:06):
Baking.
Nicole (18:07):
You bake more in the winter.
Patricia (18:09):
I bake more in the winter.
I cook more in the winter.
Nicole (18:12):
Yeah.
Patricia (18:13):
But yeah, soups.
Love a soup.
Nicole (18:16):
I love a soup.
It's a hot drink, but it's also food.
Patricia (18:19):
[Chuckle]
But also, yeah, baking.
I make a very good focaccia and,again, it's something I can't make
when it's really hot because ithas to, like, rise and, like, it
gets too kind of humid in here, so.
Nicole (18:33):
Also, we don't have air conditioning, so then the oven just heats
up our kitchen-dining-living room area.
Patricia (18:40):
Right.
I feel like I want to make a listof all the things I want to bake.
Nicole (18:43):
Please do.
Put it on the whiteboardthat's on the fridge.
Patricia (18:47):
Okay.
Nicole (18:48):
Lighting candles and reading while it rains.
Just like that, that mood.
That whole, like, vibe.
Patricia (18:55):
The coziness.
Nicole (18:56):
Yes.
Patricia (18:57):
Just chasing coziness.
Nicole (18:59):
Yeah.
Patricia (19:00):
And last but not least, coming up, we have the holidays.
Nicole (19:05):
There is so much we can say here.
First, there's people like us whocarry grief this time of year.
And it can make holidaytimes really heavy.
Patricia (19:17):
Yeah.
Nicole (19:18):
And feel not like a celebratory time.
We never decorated for Christmas inthe past, since we've been together.
But you wanted to last year.
Patricia (19:29):
Yeah, it was our first Christmas without my mom, and my mom
freaking loved Christmas decorations.
So, it was my way of including her inthe season, and I'm actually looking
forward to getting those back out.
Nicole (19:47):
Yeah, I, I appreciate things like this, where you're finding ways to
include the loved ones that we've lost.
I know, like, before, I reallystruggled with these holidays because
of all the loved ones that I've lost.
But, with you, and last yearand stuff, we're finding ways
of starting new traditions.
(20:09):
And I think it's helping.
Maybe certain things come up during theholidays that get you down every year,
and so it might be a good idea to startthinking about ways that you can start to,
or work on, healing some of those wounds.
If you have a relationship witha mental health professional,
(20:31):
it might be a good idea to starttalking to them about this now.
Patricia (20:37):
I also know it can be an incredibly stressful time for people
with kids, especially if there isone spouse who is usually the one
responsible for all of that holiday magic.
Not only the gifts and the decorating,but the organizing, the keeping
track of things, getting the holidaycards ordered and written and mailed
(21:00):
out and often, that will fall onone spouse more than the other.
If you are that spouse I really urgeyou to think about what balls can be
dropped or delegated this holiday season.
Nicole (21:19):
Yeah, what can you, uh, delegate to the trash bin?
Patricia (21:23):
Yeah.
Well, can you hand off to Oscar?
You, you don't need to do all that.
You know, we send out, honestly,we send out like 120 holiday cards
and I typically enjoy it, but I'malso like, ugh, we just wrote 200
postcards to voters in swing states.
I'm like, maybe I can cut downon this, this holiday card list.
(21:46):
Cause that seems a bit daunting this year.
Nicole (21:50):
Yeah.
But also, you're not theonly one that does it.
Like, we work on them together.
Patricia (21:54):
Totally.
We work together.
Nicole (21:55):
Yeah.
The holidays can catch somepeople off guard, which is
why we're doing this show now.
So you can start to mentally prepareyourself and also maybe try to line up
some things that are joyful for you.
Patricia (22:12):
Yeah, so everything we talked about, whether it's around the time
change, whether it's around the election,whether it's around the holidays and
winter, as you're thinking of things toput in place as you're listening to this
episode, if you listen to it a secondtime, make a list, like write these
things down for everything we talkedabout today and make this list in a place
(22:36):
where you will see it and refer to it.
So if you're a planner person,put it in your planner.
If you use Google Calendar anduse your notes app or Todoist or,
or whatever, put it in the placethat you will actually refer to.
Lists only work if you look at them.
I'm actually, to give you a jumpstart,I'm going to share a link in the show
(23:00):
notes from Michelle MiJung Kim, who isthe author of a book I really enjoyed,
which is The Wake Up, Closing the GapBetween Good Intentions and Real Change.
She made a sample self care toolkitwith a list of 51 things she can do,
kind of like things that fill her cup.
And some of the things shelists can be aftercare as well.
(23:23):
So if you are suddenly finding yourselfunable to think of anything for
yourself, I'm gonna link a, a listthat'll kind of give you a jumpstart.
Nicole (23:34):
Patricia, what is the key takeaway for you for this episode that you want
people to like, really hold on to?
Patricia (23:42):
Well, as we said, this time of year can be really hard, but I
want people to know there are thingsyou can do to help it feel less so.
You don't have to get sweptaway by this time of year.
You do have some control here.
Nicole, what do you wantpeople to take away?
Nicole (23:59):
I think I want people to just remember that winter doesn't
have to be all dark and dreary times.
There are things you can do tofind joy and kind of escape the
doldrums of the darker times.
And if you plan ahead for it, you'remore likely to be successful in that.
Music (24:18):
[Transition Music]
Nicole (24:27):
All right.
So Patricia, what isfilling your cup this week?
Patricia (24:33):
So actually I think a couple of things.
First, we are getting portraits done soon.
Kind of like fun, creative,businessy portraits.
From actually, we had taken a,like an iPhone photography class,
Nicole (24:50):
mm hmm
Patricia (24:51):
and I became mutuals on Instagram with the person teaching
the class, and then she invited usto her studio to take some pictures.
So, we picked out outfits the otherday, and we're gonna go do that and
get some professional pictures taken.
Nicole (25:06):
Yeah, I'm kind of excited for that.
Patricia (25:09):
And the other thing, which I don't have written in our script, which
I've just been thinking about is like,ugh, now that the heat has broken, I'm
finally in the mood to actually maybelike start making marshmallows soon
because what I really want to do isI want to get a ghost cookie cutter
(25:30):
and make ghost shaped marshmallows.
Like that is, that'smy, that's my big plan.
That's my master plan.
Nicole (25:37):
I'm here for it.
Patricia (25:39):
Nicole, what's filling your cup right now?
Nicole (25:41):
You know, I've, I've been, been dedicating a lot of my time to
work, so I'm leaning heavily on booksto help, like, fill my cup right now.
And now that, like, as you said, theheat's broken, it's starting to feel
more seasonally appropriate in just thegeneral outside everyday life, and so I
(26:04):
might try some more spooky oriented books.
I know we've got kickin around and stuff.
We'll see if I, if I leaninto that a little bit.
Patricia (26:12):
Yeah, we also have, there's a graphic novel called Pumpkin Heads,
Nicole (26:17):
Aww, Pumpkin heads.
Patricia (26:17):
that I like, that I like to re read this time of year.
And so, I'll put it in our bookshop.
It's a cute,
Nicole (26:25):
yeah
Patricia (26:26):
queer, like...
Nicole (26:27):
It's also Over the Garden Wall season.
Patricia (26:29):
It is also Over the Garden Wall season.
And Heartstopper's back.
Season 3.
Nicole (26:34):
And Heartstopper's back.
If we can ever find time to watch
Patricia (26:39):
a show.
Nicole (26:39):
A Show.
Patricia (26:40):
[Deep Breath]
We will.
We will.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com.
We'll leave a link tothat in our show notes.
Nicole (26:55):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E E D A P O D dot com.
There you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our Bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand BlueSky at eedapod and
(27:16):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (27:19):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (27:21):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate
us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube,wherever you get your podcasts that allow
ratings, these kinds of things go reallyfar in helping other people find us.
Patricia (27:40):
We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself.
Drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
Nicole (28:03):
It's also candy corn season.
Patricia (28:05):
Ew.
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hello, gremlins!
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I'm here for the potatoes and molasses, Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We're recording the showon October 10th, 2024.
Patricia (00:34):
First of all, before we get into anything, I don't know
if any of our listeners or ourlistener's loved ones were affected by
Hurricane Helene or Hurricane Milton.
I did post some resources forfolks if they can access them in
my newsletter at theinfophile.com.
(00:55):
I'll repost it in the show notes.
That's for Hurricane Helene.
As of the recording of this show, I don'tyet have resources for Hurricane Milton
victims, but also just know we're thinkingabout you, and we hope you're all,
and all your loved ones are, are good.
Nicole (01:12):
Yeah.
We wanted to share a littlesomething because we talked about
the upcoming turning airpodsinto hearing aids situation.
Patricia (01:21):
Yeah, last episode we talked about how you found it really
useful to use your airpods in a kindof crowded echoey room situation.
Nicole (01:31):
mm hmm
Patricia (01:31):
And then we were talking about the updates that Apple's making to
airpods to turn them into hearing aids.
And I mentioned neither of us aredeaf or hard of hearing and I'm really
interested in hearing from deaf or hardof hearing people on what they think
about this update and addition to AirPods.
(01:52):
And actually one deaf creatorI follow Her name is Raven.
I think she's bluejay19XX on Instagram.
She posted a video about her opinionsand it really got me thinking, you
know, about a bunch of different things.
One of her main concerns was calling themhearing aids, which is actually a term
(02:15):
for a medical device that is thousands ofdollars and maybe it's not as accurate.
But also thinking about like, whatare the different hearing levels
that would be able to use these?
And in what kind of situationswould people be able to use these?
And so not going to get into allthat, but I said her Instagram
(02:37):
name, I'll link into the show notes.
And it just really got me thinkingand, and it's so important to follow
content creators who aren't typicallyin your circles or communities and
really listen to what they have to say.
Nicole (02:52):
Absolutely.
We went to a Ren Faire.
Patricia (02:56):
We did.
It was a million degrees.
It was dirty.
We sang sea shanties and we ate fair food.
Nicole (03:05):
We did not eat a turkey leg, but many of our friends did.
Patricia (03:08):
Well, they tried to, they were ginormous.
Nicole (03:11):
They ate some of various turkey legs.
Both (03:14):
[Laughing]
Patricia (03:16):
They did.
And we kind of made a game ofscavenger hunt, bingo, kind of,
what would we see at the Ren Faire.
Nicole (03:26):
We saw a lot of different things.
Patricia (03:28):
Saw a lot of different things, including, there was
definitely a TARDIS there.
Nicole (03:31):
Absolutely.
Patricia (03:32):
[Chuckling]
But it was fun.
It was a great outdoors thing to dowith our friends, and I'm glad we were
finally able to take our friends whohad never been to a Ren Faire before.
Nicole (03:43):
Yeah, it was good.
It was a good experience for all.
We did not, however, go to thedinosaur pumpkin patch last weekend.
Patricia (03:51):
Yeah, there's a pumpkin patch around here that has like
huge audio animatronic dinosaurs,and just, it's a massive place.
And I've seen it on Instagram,but it was going to be like
102 degrees, so we cancelled.
Nicole (04:07):
Yeah, it's, it's been too hot to even think up until like yesterday.
Patricia (04:12):
Exactly.
Nicole (04:13):
And we don't have air conditioning, so we were already melting.
Friendly reminder to everyone, we do havea Patreon, where you can help support
the show, and help ensure we don'thave ads, and potentially interact with
Patricia on there a little more right now.
Patricia (04:31):
You literally never go on there.
Nicole (04:33):
I don't.
I know.
I'm sorry, friends.
Patricia (04:36):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:37):
I have enough, hard enough time being accountable to myself and Patricia.
Patricia (04:41):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:44):
I don't need to be accountable to the broader community yet.
Patricia (04:48):
Maybe that'll be a 2025 goal.
Nicole logs into Patreon once a month.
Both (04:54):
[Laughing]
Nicole (04:57):
But we do have two levels you can support us at.
There is the Helpful Helpers level,which is $3, and is the next one
the Enthusiastic Encouragers?
Patricia (05:09):
I think it is.
Nicole (05:10):
And that's $8 a month, and that gets you access to
some additional discussions.
Patricia (05:18):
Not necessarily discussions yet, but the newsletter.
Nicole (05:20):
Oh, yeah, that gets you access to the Enthusiastic Encouragement
and Dubious Advice newsletter,which is what Patricia was talking
about earlier, where she had alreadyshared some hurricane help resources.
So you can also subscribe throughour Patreon and get access to the
kind of non-resource issues for that.
(05:44):
We also have a bookshop accessible,and through there you can always shop
for any books we mention on the show.
And support from both of thosegoes to help keeping this show ad
free, aside from the ads where wetry to sell you on supporting us so
we don't have to talk about, like,socks or mattresses or something.
Patricia (06:08):
Protein powder and meal, meal delivery services.
Nicole (06:11):
Yeah.
Patricia (06:12):
[Chuckling]
Music (06:13):
[Transitional Music]
Patricia (06:22):
Today, we want to talk about the fact that we are coming up on a
complicated time of year for a lot of us.
It is mid October.
First of all, the first thing that'sgonna kind of hit is the time change.
That's on November 3rd forplaces that do the time change.
(06:45):
I recognize not everywheredoes the time change.
Daylight savings.
But the time change happens two daysbefore the next anxiety inducing
thing for those of us in the U.
S., which is the election,and whatever comes with that.
Nicole (07:03):
[Big Exhale]
Patricia (07:04):
And that is November 5th, and then we're rolling right
into the holidays, which can behard for any number of reasons.
And then, of course, winter,which comes with its own emotional
difficulties for many folks.
Nicole (07:20):
Which is why you may soon just find me under a pile of blankets.
Both (07:25):
[Laughing]
Nicole (07:28):
But, like, just hearing about all that and, like, kind of staring
down the last couple of months of theyear can definitely be overwhelming.
And it is really easy forsome of us to like, just kind
of start spiraling on this.
But we here at the EnthusiasticEncouragement and Dubious
(07:49):
Advice headquarters
Patricia (07:50):
[Laughing]
Nicole (07:52):
have this radical idea that it doesn't have to all be horrible.
If you can find ways tostart preparing yourself now.
Patricia (08:04):
Yeah.
Nicole (08:04):
And I guess we'll talk about what that means.
Patricia (08:06):
Yeah, that's what we're going to talk about today.
But I want to start with a little bitof a refresher on the term self care.
Nicole (08:14):
That's like pedicures and stuff, right?
Patricia (08:17):
Absolutely not.
Nicole (08:18):
[giggling]
Patricia (08:19):
Audre Lorde said, quote, Caring for myself is not self
indulgence, it's self preservation, andthat is an act of political warfare.
That is to say, self care isan act of self preservation.
It's what we put in place to keep our cupsfrom being depleted in the first place.
(08:40):
A lot of the things being sold tofolks as self care is more akin to
self soothing or aftercare, right?
After we are already burned out ordepleted, which these things can also
be important, but they are different,which is why I call out the distinction.
And some of what we're going to talkabout today are things that you put
(09:03):
in place and a lot of planning, andthen some of it might be planning for
aftercare for some of these things.
Nicole (09:11):
Okay, let's talk about the election time first.
We cannot control everything thathappens, but there is a lot in
our own lives that we can control.
Us, this means making a voting plan.
We can do research.
We actually get together on Slack with agroup of friends who live nearby and who
(09:36):
also have, like, values that align withours, so we know we're all kind of on the
same page to begin with, and we go throughthe whole ballot from president all the
way down to the very, very local measures.
We talk it through, people researchdifferent aspects, try to make sure
we are being very informed aboutthe votes that we are placing.
(10:00):
And, like, we carve out a couple hoursfor this at least, and we make sure
we have snacks, and our laptops areup, so we can share chats and links,
and kind of make it almost in someways like, a little party situation.
Patricia (10:16):
It's kind of a little party situation.
Nicole (10:18):
Yeah.
Patricia (10:19):
And, you know, it's so helpful to have multiple people at
multiple computers to say like, okay,I'm looking at measure so and so, well,
this one's endorsed by this union, andthis one's endorsed by these people.
And sometimes that helps drive our votes.
Nicole (10:36):
Absolutely.
To be clear, it's notlike a very dull exercise.
Like, we make a lot of jokesand have fun with it, too.
Patricia (10:44):
Yeah.
But we vote all the way down the ballot.
And sometimes, yeah, it takes a while.
But I think the being together withpeople is what helps it feel less tedious.
Nicole (10:56):
And less daunting.
Patricia (10:57):
And less daunting.
Yeah, we have really smart friends.
[Laughing]
I think it's also important to not onlyplan like your actual voting, whether
you are going into the poll or, youknow, we usually mail in our ballots.
Early voting has started in some places,maybe you're in one of those places.
But it's really important to maybehave some things lined up for
(11:20):
election day and the day after.
It might be some friend time.
It might be some comfortshows or comfort food.
It might just be some check ins, right?
Checking in with some loved ones.
Maybe it involves some boundariesaround your own social media use which
(11:40):
I know for some people, politics istheir football, politics is their
sport, and they just consume it.
And some of us really need to bemeasured about the amount that
we take in at any given time.
I know that many of us have towork because it's on a Tuesday.
So maybe this means some boundaries aroundconversations with co workers, right?
(12:04):
Because for some people, the electionand politics are great water cooler
conversations, but for some ofus, it's just too charged because
it is our lives and our rights.
And maybe even just preparing somethingto say like, hey, I appreciate your
(12:24):
enthusiasm wanting to talk to meabout the election right now, but
I just don't have the bandwidth orspell slots or whatever you have
to have this conversation just yet.
Right?
Just saying like, hey, I don't havethe bandwidth for this right now.
Nicole (12:40):
Just gonna write that on my hand.
Patricia (12:42):
Yeah.
We'll, we'll print you out some,some business cards to hand out.
Nicole (12:46):
Have a little sign on a popsicle stick.
Patricia (12:48):
Yeah.
Nicole (12:49):
I don't have the spell slots for this conversation right now.
Patricia (12:52):
I think that would just be great to have all the time.
Nicole (12:55):
Just keep one at your desk.
Patricia (12:56):
I don't have
the spell slots for this.
Just...
Nicole (12:59):
Make it like a zoom background.
And then like, you can swipeto like hide your camera.
So you disappear and itjust shows the background.
Both (13:07):
[Laughing]
Nicole (13:10):
All of this really relates to what we talked about in an earlier episode that
was called Community Care is Self Care.
Election time can make some people feelreally connected and others feel really
adrift, depending on who you are around.
If you can, plan time with likeminded loved ones, even virtually.
(13:35):
And this might be a good thing toget on the calendar ahead of time.
And I'm gonna extra enforce this ifyou are a person who maybe lives alone,
that either way it goes, it'd probablybe a good idea to be with people.
Patricia (13:49):
Yeah, yeah.
Now that you say that, I'm like,ugh, do I make a drop in Zoom for
Nicole (13:55):
yeah
Patricia (13:56):
our loved ones for that evening?
Nicole (13:58):
Yeah.
Patricia (13:58):
Maybe.
Maybe that's something we thinkabout and get on the calendar.
So, right before the election, like Isaid, two days before, is the time change.
Personally.
I love that our plants thrive inall the light and heat, and spring
and summer produce are unmatched.
(14:21):
But I actually prefer the cold and dark.
I think I've mentioned before that I havesummer onset seasonal affective disorder.
So the recent heat wave we had here inCalifornia has been incredibly hard for
me, like meltdown o'clock every day.
Thankfully, we are recording this andit broke a couple days ago, so it's
(14:45):
finally cool enough for my brain to work.
Nicole (14:47):
Yeah.
There are plenty of resources online forhow to prepare for the time change, so we
aren't going to go over those in detailhere, but we are going to urge you to not
wait till the last minute to look them up.
Patricia, I know one of yourthings, though, is fun lighting.
Patricia (15:11):
Oh my gosh, the amount of things we have in here that light up
is almost Pee Wee's Playhouse level.
Nicole (15:20):
And you don't mean just my smile.
Patricia (15:23):
Well, that too.
Nicole (15:23):
[giggle]
Patricia (15:24):
But fairy lights everywhere.
Bulbs that we can change the color on.
Various other fun lights, like Ihave clouds that light up that are
above my desk, and I have an Ikeajack-o'-lantern lamp on my nightstand.
Nicole (15:41):
That is not just seasonal decor in our home.
Patricia (15:44):
No, that is year round.
Nicole (15:46):
Year round nightstand jack-o'-lantern.
You also recently read a book on howto handle the longer dark time and
also The Winter, which is coming.
Patricia (15:57):
Yes.
Okay, so I am, like, dying to sharethis book with everyone here, but
first I'm sharing it via Book Riot.
And they do get first dibs atcertain book recommendations of mine.
I'll be sharing it there by the end ofthe month, and I'll make a public post
(16:19):
in our Patreon when that goes live,and then I'm sure I'll be able to talk
about it in an upcoming EEDAPOD episode.
Nicole (16:26):
Can we at least know the publication date, so people
know when to look out for, like,something from Book Riot, or...
Patricia (16:35):
Sure.
It would be October 22nd?
Nicole (16:40):
Okay.
Patricia (16:40):
Yeah.
[Giggling]
Nicole (16:42):
So keep a lookout around October 22nd-ish, or that week.
Patricia (16:47):
And it'll be on the All the Books podcast.
Nicole (16:49):
All the Books podcast.
Go listen there.
We are lucky.
We have really mild winters here, and eventhough it can get chilly for us here in
Northern California, it does not snow.
Still, there are some things thathelp us get through those slow
winter days after the holidays.
(17:11):
Some of these are, like, really leaninginto the things we enjoy that are just,
like, extra enjoyable this time of year.
Big one for me?
Hot drinks.
I love a hot drink.
Patricia (17:25):
Yeah, and we're not necessarily talking about alcoholic hot drinks.
Nicole (17:29):
No.
Patricia (17:29):
Just like a hot chocolate, a nice cup of tea.
Nicole (17:33):
Your hot cider.
Patricia (17:34):
Oh hot cider!
Nicole (17:35):
Yeah, just, I love a hot drink in winter.
It is one of the best things.
Blanket nests on the sofa.
I know you just looked over at whatI'm already cooking up over here in
the corner with two blankets, witha third that's slowly migrating
from your side over to mine.
Comfort food.
(17:55):
What kind of comfort foods?
Patricia (17:57):
I mean...
Nicole (17:57):
What's on your, like, watch out list for this year
for comfort food in the winter?
Patricia (18:01):
I mean, mine is getting back to cooking beans.
It's just been too hot tostand in front of the stove.
Nicole (18:06):
Baking.
Patricia (18:06):
Baking.
Nicole (18:07):
You bake more in the winter.
Patricia (18:09):
I bake more in the winter.
I cook more in the winter.
Nicole (18:12):
Yeah.
Patricia (18:13):
But yeah, soups.
Love a soup.
Nicole (18:16):
I love a soup.
It's a hot drink, but it's also food.
Patricia (18:19):
[Chuckle]
But also, yeah, baking.
I make a very good focaccia and,again, it's something I can't make
when it's really hot because ithas to, like, rise and, like, it
gets too kind of humid in here, so.
Nicole (18:33):
Also, we don't have air conditioning, so then the oven just heats
up our kitchen-dining-living room area.
Patricia (18:40):
Right.
I feel like I want to make a listof all the things I want to bake.
Nicole (18:43):
Please do.
Put it on the whiteboardthat's on the fridge.
Patricia (18:47):
Okay.
Nicole (18:48):
Lighting candles and reading while it rains.
Just like that, that mood.
That whole, like, vibe.
Patricia (18:55):
The coziness.
Nicole (18:56):
Yes.
Patricia (18:57):
Just chasing coziness.
Nicole (18:59):
Yeah.
Patricia (19:00):
And last but not least, coming up, we have the holidays.
Nicole (19:05):
There is so much we can say here.
First, there's people like us whocarry grief this time of year.
And it can make holidaytimes really heavy.
Patricia (19:17):
Yeah.
Nicole (19:18):
And feel not like a celebratory time.
We never decorated for Christmas inthe past, since we've been together.
But you wanted to last year.
Patricia (19:29):
Yeah, it was our first Christmas without my mom, and my mom
freaking loved Christmas decorations.
So, it was my way of including her inthe season, and I'm actually looking
forward to getting those back out.
Nicole (19:47):
Yeah, I, I appreciate things like this, where you're finding ways to
include the loved ones that we've lost.
I know, like, before, I reallystruggled with these holidays because
of all the loved ones that I've lost.
But, with you, and last yearand stuff, we're finding ways
of starting new traditions.
(20:09):
And I think it's helping.
Maybe certain things come up during theholidays that get you down every year,
and so it might be a good idea to startthinking about ways that you can start to,
or work on, healing some of those wounds.
If you have a relationship witha mental health professional,
(20:31):
it might be a good idea to starttalking to them about this now.
Patricia (20:37):
I also know it can be an incredibly stressful time for people
with kids, especially if there isone spouse who is usually the one
responsible for all of that holiday magic.
Not only the gifts and the decorating,but the organizing, the keeping
track of things, getting the holidaycards ordered and written and mailed
(21:00):
out and often, that will fall onone spouse more than the other.
If you are that spouse I really urgeyou to think about what balls can be
dropped or delegated this holiday season.
Nicole (21:19):
Yeah, what can you, uh, delegate to the trash bin?
Patricia (21:23):
Yeah.
Well, can you hand off to Oscar?
You, you don't need to do all that.
You know, we send out, honestly,we send out like 120 holiday cards
and I typically enjoy it, but I'malso like, ugh, we just wrote 200
postcards to voters in swing states.
I'm like, maybe I can cut downon this, this holiday card list.
(21:46):
Cause that seems a bit daunting this year.
Nicole (21:50):
Yeah.
But also, you're not theonly one that does it.
Like, we work on them together.
Patricia (21:54):
Totally.
We work together.
Nicole (21:55):
Yeah.
The holidays can catch somepeople off guard, which is
why we're doing this show now.
So you can start to mentally prepareyourself and also maybe try to line up
some things that are joyful for you.
Patricia (22:12):
Yeah, so everything we talked about, whether it's around the time
change, whether it's around the election,whether it's around the holidays and
winter, as you're thinking of things toput in place as you're listening to this
episode, if you listen to it a secondtime, make a list, like write these
things down for everything we talkedabout today and make this list in a place
(22:36):
where you will see it and refer to it.
So if you're a planner person,put it in your planner.
If you use Google Calendar anduse your notes app or Todoist or,
or whatever, put it in the placethat you will actually refer to.
Lists only work if you look at them.
I'm actually, to give you a jumpstart,I'm going to share a link in the show
(23:00):
notes from Michelle MiJung Kim, who isthe author of a book I really enjoyed,
which is The Wake Up, Closing the GapBetween Good Intentions and Real Change.
She made a sample self care toolkitwith a list of 51 things she can do,
kind of like things that fill her cup.
And some of the things shelists can be aftercare as well.
(23:23):
So if you are suddenly finding yourselfunable to think of anything for
yourself, I'm gonna link a, a listthat'll kind of give you a jumpstart.
Nicole (23:34):
Patricia, what is the key takeaway for you for this episode that you want
people to like, really hold on to?
Patricia (23:42):
Well, as we said, this time of year can be really hard, but I
want people to know there are thingsyou can do to help it feel less so.
You don't have to get sweptaway by this time of year.
You do have some control here.
Nicole, what do you wantpeople to take away?
Nicole (23:59):
I think I want people to just remember that winter doesn't
have to be all dark and dreary times.
There are things you can do tofind joy and kind of escape the
doldrums of the darker times.
And if you plan ahead for it, you'remore likely to be successful in that.
Music (24:18):
[Transition Music]
Nicole (24:27):
All right.
So Patricia, what isfilling your cup this week?
Patricia (24:33):
So actually I think a couple of things.
First, we are getting portraits done soon.
Kind of like fun, creative,businessy portraits.
From actually, we had taken a,like an iPhone photography class,
Nicole (24:50):
mm hmm
Patricia (24:51):
and I became mutuals on Instagram with the person teaching
the class, and then she invited usto her studio to take some pictures.
So, we picked out outfits the otherday, and we're gonna go do that and
get some professional pictures taken.
Nicole (25:06):
Yeah, I'm kind of excited for that.
Patricia (25:09):
And the other thing, which I don't have written in our script, which
I've just been thinking about is like,ugh, now that the heat has broken, I'm
finally in the mood to actually maybelike start making marshmallows soon
because what I really want to do isI want to get a ghost cookie cutter
(25:30):
and make ghost shaped marshmallows.
Like that is, that'smy, that's my big plan.
That's my master plan.
Nicole (25:37):
I'm here for it.
Patricia (25:39):
Nicole, what's filling your cup right now?
Nicole (25:41):
You know, I've, I've been, been dedicating a lot of my time to
work, so I'm leaning heavily on booksto help, like, fill my cup right now.
And now that, like, as you said, theheat's broken, it's starting to feel
more seasonally appropriate in just thegeneral outside everyday life, and so I
(26:04):
might try some more spooky oriented books.
I know we've got kickin around and stuff.
We'll see if I, if I leaninto that a little bit.
Patricia (26:12):
Yeah, we also have, there's a graphic novel called Pumpkin Heads,
Nicole (26:17):
Aww, Pumpkin heads.
Patricia (26:17):
that I like, that I like to re read this time of year.
And so, I'll put it in our bookshop.
It's a cute,
Nicole (26:25):
yeah
Patricia (26:26):
queer, like...
Nicole (26:27):
It's also Over the Garden Wall season.
Patricia (26:29):
It is also Over the Garden Wall season.
And Heartstopper's back.
Season 3.
Nicole (26:34):
And Heartstopper's back.
If we can ever find time to watch
Patricia (26:39):
a show.
Nicole (26:39):
A Show.
Patricia (26:40):
[Deep Breath]
We will.
We will.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com.
We'll leave a link tothat in our show notes.
Nicole (26:55):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E E D A P O D dot com.
There you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our Bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand BlueSky at eedapod and
(27:16):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (27:19):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (27:21):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate
us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube,wherever you get your podcasts that allow
ratings, these kinds of things go reallyfar in helping other people find us.
Patricia (27:40):
We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself.
Drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
Nicole (28:03):
It's also candy corn season.
Patricia (28:05):
Ew.
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