January 22, 2025 • 21 mins
In this episode of "Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice," Patricia and Nicole discuss the recent (and ongoing) Southern California wildfires and emphasize the importance of community-driven support in times of crisis. They also talk about the significance of taking small, sometimes imperfect actions to contribute positively to societal issues. The episode concludes with encouragement to the listeners to practice self-care and support the show through Patreon and other platforms.
Mentioned on the show:
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Bookshop Affiliate Storefront (links below are affiliate)
-
Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
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Subscribe to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Newsletter
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Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World Without a Bullhorn by Omkari L. Williams
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
Follow the show on Instagram & find us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, & Spotify
Sound editing by Jen Zink
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Music (00:00):
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hey there, Earthlings!
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I might just be a hundred crows in a cute
outfit, I'm Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We are recording this showon January 17th, 2025.
Patricia (00:35):
Note the date.
We are recording this beforeInauguration Day, but this show actually
comes out after Inauguration Day.
So, when we are recordingthis, we actually don't know
what Monday's gonna look like.
Nicole (00:48):
So, if something happened, we don't know about it yet.
Patricia (00:51):
So, we're recording from the past.
Nicole (00:55):
Hello!
Patricia (00:56):
I mean, we wouldn't record from the future, so.
Nicole (00:58):
Yeah, that's one of those situations, like, uh, every picture
is a picture of you in the past.
Patricia (01:02):
That's fair.
Nicole (01:03):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:03):
That's legit.
If you are a listener, a loved one, inSouthern California, we hope that you
are safe and have a safe place to be.
Nicole and I used to live in Pasadena.
Nicole (01:17):
Which is, for those who aren't familiar with Los Angeles geography, It
abuts, it's right up next to Altadena.
Patricia (01:25):
Which has had a lot of damage from the Eaton Canyon fire.
Nicole (01:29):
Yes.
Patricia (01:30):
And we actually, we met in Pasadena and that was where our
first number of years was together.
Nicole (01:37):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:38):
And we, personally, we have friends and family who have been affected.
Everyone is safe, but yeah, we haveloved ones who have been affected.
Nicole (01:47):
Yeah.
Yeah, not to mention just the loss ofthat town and memories and history and...
Patricia (01:54):
It's personal importance to your family, yeah.
Nicole (01:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Patricia (01:57):
And also, you know, California is a very big state with
many, many people, and yet, betweenthe Bay Area and LA, sometimes
it could feel very small town-y.
You know, a lot of people I knowup here also know people in LA.
People often have peoplein, in both places.
Nicole (02:17):
Yeah.
And, like, where we live, we are notaffected or not even impacted by the
smoke right now, as far as I'm aware.
Patricia (02:23):
Correct.
Nicole (02:24):
We are several hundred miles away.
Patricia (02:26):
One of the things I'm noticing in this catastrophe is how
much faster community is moving thanthe government in getting people what
they need and in helping each other out.
And in my newsletter at theinfophile.com,the most recent issue, I did a roundup
(02:49):
of kind of as many of the roundups ofI could find of fundraisers, GoFundMes.
I mostly share things not for people whoare there and affected, although there's
a couple of resources there, but for folkswho are anywhere else and how we can help.
Nicole (03:06):
That's very helpful.
Patricia (03:08):
I tried to put it all in one place for people to also share.
So even if you can't give rightnow, like the people have given
a lot of physical donations.
Some haven't been great.
What I'm hearing is thatcash is really needed.
So, you know, you can find ways todonate cash if you have it, or of
course you can share that newsletterissue to maybe folks who might have
(03:30):
the ability to make some donations.
Nicole (03:32):
But yeah, that's, I think, a really important thing.
Like, yes, the government willlikely be helpful in the long run,
but for meeting immediate needs,the bureaucracy just slows things
down and people need help now.
Patricia (03:44):
Yeah.
Not after paperwork.
Nicole (03:47):
Yeah.
Patricia (03:47):
[Chuckle]
We did something unrelated.
We, the most recent weird thing we did
Nicole (03:53):
[Laughing]
Patricia (03:54):
was, I was, I was influenced by the internet and I
learned about a French vintage market
Nicole (04:03):
[Snort]
Patricia (04:04):
up in what we refer to as the North Bay, I think.
Nicole (04:08):
I think calling it a French vintage market is
overstating things a little bit.
Patricia (04:15):
Yeah, but they were, they were trying.
Nicole (04:17):
They were trying.
Patricia (04:18):
We had crepes that were mid.
Nicole (04:20):
Yeah, there was a truck there selling crepes.
Or not even a truck, it was a tent.
Patricia (04:24):
It was a tent.
Nicole (04:25):
It was a tent.
Patricia (04:25):
It was a tent selling crepes.
There was a trio, a vocalist,a keyboard player, and someone
playing the upright bass.
And they were singingFrench adjacent songs.
Nicole (04:39):
I think they were trying to sing European songs.
I'm pretty sure I heardan Italian song in there.
Patricia (04:45):
[Chuckle]
There was also some bossa nova, though.
Nicole (04:49):
Yeah.
Patricia (04:50):
Yeah.
But they were all, they were in, like,red pants and striped shirts and berets.
Nicole (04:57):
They were just missing, like, a little drawn on skinny mustache.
Patricia (05:01):
Yeah, there was, we did see a woman smoking a cigarette looking
at vintage furs, and that was probablythe most French part about it, and
I think it was unintentional, but.
Nicole (05:11):
Yeah, no, it was great though
Otherwise, it was kindof just like a standard
Patricia (05:15):
antique market
Nicole (05:16):
antique market flea market situation.
Patricia (05:19):
Yeah, I got a book.
I got a book about beans.
Nicole (05:22):
You got a bean book.
Patricia (05:23):
I got a bean book.
Nicole (05:24):
Hey!
From the, the California BeanGrowers Association or something?
Patricia (05:28):
Something like that, yeah.
Nicole (05:29):
[laughing]
Patricia (05:30):
Yeah, it's from like the 90s, but apparently there was a first,
volume one from the 80s, so now wehave something to look for as we go
to antique stores and used bookstores.
We have to find the first bean book.
Nicole (05:43):
The first California Bean association.
Patricia (05:46):
[Laughing]
Nicole (05:47):
Reminder, we have a Patreon.
I'm told you all knowwhat that is at this time.
So please go visit it patreon.com/eedapod.
Patricia (05:56):
Yep.
And we also have a bookshop storefrontwhere you can buy any of the books we
mentioned on the show and some I mentionedin the newsletter and things like that.
And we get a kickback becauseit's our affiliate shop.
So that is another way to supportus aside from listening and sharing.
Nicole (06:15):
Oh, and I am trying to participate more in the Patreon now.
Patricia (06:19):
That's true!
You are now showing up in ourweekly accountability posts.
Nicole (06:24):
Yes!
And if I remember and I'm not too tiredduring the rest of the week, I will also
try to come back and comment and talk withother people and stuff like that, too.
Patricia (06:33):
Look at you, working on your, working on your goals.
Nicole (06:36):
Ahh.
Patricia (06:37):
[Snicker]
Music (06:39):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (06:47):
So, I've been thinking about an Instagram post I saw the
other day from a person who goes bysharonsaysso that says, quote, In
moments like this, do for one personwhat you wish you could do for everyone.
Nicole (07:04):
Yeah, this is a lot like that parable where there's a beach full of
washed up sea stars, like, in the sand,and someone's throwing one or two back in,
or throwing some back in, and someone'slike, you can never help them all.
But the person is like, yeah,but, I made a difference for
that one that I just threw back.
Patricia (07:23):
Yeah, I've had a lot of conversations like that,
especially around DEI efforts.
Nicole (07:30):
Oof.
Patricia (07:30):
I've had people tell me they wish there was just one big
thing that could be done in one fellswoop that could affect everyone.
And I've had multiple people showdespair, feeling like they, as an
individual, couldn't do anything thatreally makes a difference, or moves the
needle, or however you want to put it.
Nicole (07:53):
Sorry, this isn't in the thing, but I was just thinking, like, that's
so, the like, I just wish I could do onething, that's so not community minded.
Patricia (08:01):
Can we just flip a switch and turn off racism?
Nicole (08:04):
[exhale]
Patricia (08:06):
Yeah.
Nicole (08:06):
Not have to like actually interact with anyone in the long term
Patricia (08:09):
nah
Nicole (08:09):
or make any significant changes in your life
Patricia (08:12):
no
Nicole (08:12):
or behavior or society or anything.
Patricia (08:13):
Just press that abolition button and uh, there you go.
Nicole (08:17):
Ah.
[laugh]
Patricia (08:18):
[Chuckle]
Nicole (08:19):
Whatever the terror de jour is, whether that's climate
catastrophe, transphobia, racism, theprison industrial complex, the unholy
Voltron of all these things together.
Patricia (08:31):
Oh my god.
Nicole (08:32):
It's important to remember that, like, one single action by one single
person is not what got us into this mess.
And so, we can't one person,one switch, fix it either.
Patricia (08:47):
I mean, if it was one person, it's probably Ronald Reagan, but
Nicole (08:51):
Oh, damn.
Yeah, that's true.
We can pin a lot on that one.
Patricia (08:56):
That's true.
We can find ourselves frozen,because we want to pick that one
right thing to do, but since wecan't, we end up doing nothing.
We just mindlessly scroll theinternet, take in the trauma, and do
nothing to address that trauma forourselves or each other, because we've
convinced ourselves that whateverwe need to do needs to be perfect.
Nicole (09:21):
Perfection holds us back once again.
There is no perfect action in any of this.
And this is something we talk about inone of our early episodes called, There's
No Such Thing as Five Star Cereal.
So if you want to hear kind of moreabout this perfectionism issue.
Patricia (09:38):
This trap of perfection.
Nicole (09:39):
This trap of perfectionism.
That's a really good way of putting it.
The importance is not that you do theone perfect thing, just do something.
Some thing.
Cause you know what's definitely,like, not a perfect thing?
Nothing.
Doing nothing is, like,the exact opposite.
Patricia (10:00):
It's kind of like that saying, like, you can't
win if you're not even playing.
And, and people think, like, well, Ican't donate ten thousand dollars to this
GoFundMe, so I won't donate anything.
But if you have five bucks thatyou can donate, then do that.
And if you don't have the cash, andeven if you do, you can share the
link out with people and maybe theycan pitch in or they can share it.
(10:23):
And as someone who works infundraising in her day job, like,
yeah, maybe at bigger organizations,it's harder to make a difference
with those five dollar donationsand the overhead and what have you.
But People's GoFundMe or someoneasking for money that matters.
Nicole (10:43):
This is a really important point.
I'm going to harp on it a little bit.
This is the power ofpeople in large numbers.
Like, most of us are not going tobe able to give a million dollars.
But if 200,000 people each give fivedollars, there's a million dollars.
When we each pitch in a little bit, wecan still achieve big change and make
(11:09):
major differences in people's lives.
You don't have to be theone that gives everything.
We each need to just give alittle of whatever we can.
And this is not just money, thisis time, energy, our voices.
Patricia (11:24):
And don't get it twisted.
There are billionaires out there rightnow that could give hundreds of millions
without breaking a sweat, and they aren't.
We don't have necessarily millions ofdollars on our side, but we do have
millions of people who can do something.
And like Nicole said, not just money.
Nicole (11:43):
Yeah, it's, it's not just about donating money.
You can't change the minds of thousandsof people, necessarily, but you can
have a hard conversation with a familymember, or a friend, or a coworker, and
that can make a difference down the line.
Patricia (12:05):
Ugh, yeah, that could be a whole other episode.
Like, it's so much easier topassively give five dollars than
to have that hard conversation.
Nicole (12:16):
Oh yeah.
Patricia (12:17):
Yeah.
Nicole (12:18):
And so kind of circling back to this, like, don't wait
to try to do the perfect thing.
You're going to get it wrong.
When you do something insteadof nothing, you're going to
get it wrong at some point.
And what that's whatever it is you do.
Maybe you share the wrong thing online.
Maybe you had the right intentabout a conversation, but the
(12:41):
impact is not what you hoped for.
Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia (12:46):
Louder for the people in the back.
Nicole (12:48):
Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia (12:52):
You know what's usually worse than getting things wrong?
Is not even trying.
And also, not learning from how youmaybe got it wrong, and then learning
how to do it better next time.
This is my first time being human.
Of course I'm going to get things wrong.
Nicole (13:10):
Wait, wait, this is your first time?
Patricia (13:12):
Yeah, it was a punishment.
Nicole (13:14):
I say that like I'm surprised, but I'm pretty sure this is my first time too.
Patricia (13:18):
Yeah.
Nicole (13:19):
This is how we learn.
This is how we get better at doing things.
So this is kind of the other half, thereally important other half, is like,
acknowledging when you get somethingwrong, learn, do better from it.
Patricia (13:31):
Yeah.
Nicole (13:31):
But, I think about like, even when we were in
grade school, learning addition.
You didn't get the lesson andthen just get it perfectly.
Patricia (13:41):
I mean, I did.
[Laughing]
Nicole (13:43):
Like, okay, sometimes, those like seven and eights
multiplications are really hard.
Patricia (13:48):
That's, that's legit.
That's legit.
Nicole (13:50):
But like, we had to get it wrong and we had to work through it
to be better and get to a point wherewe do things correctly more often.
Patricia (14:00):
Yeah, I think caring is a practice.
It's a practice, and, and carryingthrough action is a practice too,
and it's something that you getbetter at the more you do it.
I know you're all tired of hearingit, but a really great resource on
figuring out what small things to dois the book Microactivism by Omkari L.
(14:23):
Williams.
I also frequently share resourcesof action items that people can
do for a number of things inthe Enthusiastic Encouragement
and Dubious Advice newsletter.
These things are always inthe issues without paywall.
They are always free 99.
Nicole (14:40):
Sharing them is also free 98.
Patricia (14:45):
Wait, 98?
You don't have to payone cent to share them?
Nicole (14:48):
No, usually if it ends in 98 that means it's like discounted or on a sale.
Patricia (14:52):
Oh.
Mmm.
I'll take two.
As you're doing things, it'simportant to continue to take care
of yourself as you care for others.
Sometimes this means stepping back,but there is a difference between
disengaging for a while and straightup avoidance of doing anything.
Nicole (15:15):
Oh man, that could also be a whole other episode.
Patricia (15:17):
[Chuckling]
Nicole (15:19):
But before we get there, maybe, maybe I have more work to do
in that area before we record it.
Music (15:24):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (15:33):
Let's talk about our takeaways.
I think the main thing I want you totake away from this is that we can't
all do everything, uh, no matter howhard we try and no matter if you are
like me and that's your personality.
We can't all do everything,but we can all do something.
Nicole (15:52):
And everyone doing A little something is how we can all get things
done without burning out completely.
Patricia (16:03):
Yeah.
Yeah, that is so deeply important.
Nicole (16:06):
Yeah, like, I'm thinking about this also in like,
time dedicated to something.
If I give all my time, I'm gonnaburn the heck out, but like
Patricia (16:15):
absolutely
Nicole (16:16):
if we all pitch in a little bit of time, then we can still get things done.
Patricia (16:21):
We have, uh, a little bit of extra time here.
Nicole (16:25):
We do.
Patricia (16:27):
I'm not necessarily going to share a resource, but
I will share a little bit of abook I just finished reading.
Nicole (16:35):
Ooh!
Patricia (16:36):
It's titled, What Fresh Hell Is This?
Perimenopause, Menopause,and Other Indignities.
by Heather Corinna.
And they are the founder of Scarleteen,who I've recommended that resource
a lot before in my newsletter.
And it is a book about perimenopauseand menopause that they really try to
(17:02):
make it as non gendered as, as possible.
And so it is more accessible to morepeople because not only cis women go
through menopause and perimenopause.
So it sounds terrifying,but I am of that age.
So I was like, you know what?
I need to not be afraid of information,especially as someone who goes
(17:25):
around calling myself The Infophile.
Like, I need to be notafraid of information, so.
Nicole (17:31):
Yeah, I think that's going to show up on my reading list pretty soon.
Patricia (17:34):
Probably.
Nicole (17:36):
So I can understand what's going on and what I have to look forward to.
Patricia (17:39):
That too.
Nicole (17:40):
[Giggling]
Oh, joy.
Well, this has beenPatricia's Book Corner.
Patricia (17:45):
Yeah, sure.
Well, do you have a book to share or no?
Nicole (17:47):
I don't remember what I've been reading lately.
Patricia (17:49):
That's legit.
Nicole (17:49):
When you put me on the spot,
Patricia (17:51):
yep
Nicole (17:51):
I completely blank out.
Even though I've completed,I've read probably four or
five books already this year.
Patricia (17:59):
You can't name one of them.
Nicole (18:00):
My brain's like, you have not read a single book this year.
I don't know any books.
We don't read books.
Patricia (18:04):
[Laughing]
Nicole (18:07):
Welcome to, uh, what it's like to have ADHD sometimes.
Patricia (18:12):
Nicole's ADHD corner.
Nicole (18:15):
It's great.
We lay on the floor, we make up songs,
Patricia (18:18):
[Laughing]
Nicole (18:21):
we eat crunchy foods.
Patricia (18:23):
You certainly do.
You certainly do.
Nicole (18:26):
Patricia.
Patricia (18:27):
Yes, Nicole.
Nicole (18:28):
It is three days before the inauguration.
Patricia (18:32):
Sure.
Nicole (18:33):
What has been filling your cup lately?
Patricia (18:36):
We are planning a trip.
It will be our first timeon a plane since 2019.
So I have anxiety around that, but itis also a trip to a place that I love,
that I haven't been to in decades,and to do things that I love doing.
(18:56):
And I'm being vague on purpose, and it'sthe only thing keeping me going right
now, and I hope it, I hope it pans out.
I hope things don't go sosideways that we can't do it.
Nicole (19:06):
I look forward to continued planning with you, and finding
weird little places to visit,and eat at, and everything.
Patricia (19:13):
Yeah.
Nicole, what's filling your cup?
Nicole (19:16):
Um, friends!
We saw friends at boththe ze French market.
Patricia (19:23):
Oh no!
[Giggling]
Nicole (19:25):
Um, but also we, there was a, a recent bookstore and
chocolate crawl in the East Bay.
It was, it was both sides, butwe went to the East Bay side of
it and saw some more friends.
Patricia (19:36):
Yeah!
Nicole (19:36):
So it was a very friend filled weekend and that, that was
really, that was really good for me.
I have a feeling this year is reallygoing to help me learn about the
importance of friends and communitybeyond what I already know.
Patricia (19:51):
Yeah.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.comand we'll leave a link to
that in our show notes.
Nicole (20:00):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com,
that's E E D A P O D dot com.
There, you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand bluesky at eedapod and
(20:22):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (20:25):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (20:27):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe
and rate us on Apple Podcasts orSpotify or YouTube or wherever you
get your podcasts that allow ratings.
It really does go far inhelping other people find us.
Patricia (20:41):
We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself,
drink some water, and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
(21:03):
We're a little fried.
Nicole (21:04):
We're a little fried.
Patricia (21:04):
We're a little fried.
Nicole (21:05):
I think a little is also understating it.
Patricia (21:07):
I think a little is also understating it.
Nicole (21:08):
I feel like I've spent the week in the air fryer.
[Sound of Patricia being squicked out]
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hey there, Earthlings!
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I might just be a hundred crows in a cute
outfit, I'm Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We are recording this showon January 17th, 2025.
Patricia (00:35):
Note the date.
We are recording this beforeInauguration Day, but this show actually
comes out after Inauguration Day.
So, when we are recordingthis, we actually don't know
what Monday's gonna look like.
Nicole (00:48):
So, if something happened, we don't know about it yet.
Patricia (00:51):
So, we're recording from the past.
Nicole (00:55):
Hello!
Patricia (00:56):
I mean, we wouldn't record from the future, so.
Nicole (00:58):
Yeah, that's one of those situations, like, uh, every picture
is a picture of you in the past.
Patricia (01:02):
That's fair.
Nicole (01:03):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:03):
That's legit.
If you are a listener, a loved one, inSouthern California, we hope that you
are safe and have a safe place to be.
Nicole and I used to live in Pasadena.
Nicole (01:17):
Which is, for those who aren't familiar with Los Angeles geography, It
abuts, it's right up next to Altadena.
Patricia (01:25):
Which has had a lot of damage from the Eaton Canyon fire.
Nicole (01:29):
Yes.
Patricia (01:30):
And we actually, we met in Pasadena and that was where our
first number of years was together.
Nicole (01:37):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:38):
And we, personally, we have friends and family who have been affected.
Everyone is safe, but yeah, we haveloved ones who have been affected.
Nicole (01:47):
Yeah.
Yeah, not to mention just the loss ofthat town and memories and history and...
Patricia (01:54):
It's personal importance to your family, yeah.
Nicole (01:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Patricia (01:57):
And also, you know, California is a very big state with
many, many people, and yet, betweenthe Bay Area and LA, sometimes
it could feel very small town-y.
You know, a lot of people I knowup here also know people in LA.
People often have peoplein, in both places.
Nicole (02:17):
Yeah.
And, like, where we live, we are notaffected or not even impacted by the
smoke right now, as far as I'm aware.
Patricia (02:23):
Correct.
Nicole (02:24):
We are several hundred miles away.
Patricia (02:26):
One of the things I'm noticing in this catastrophe is how
much faster community is moving thanthe government in getting people what
they need and in helping each other out.
And in my newsletter at theinfophile.com,the most recent issue, I did a roundup
(02:49):
of kind of as many of the roundups ofI could find of fundraisers, GoFundMes.
I mostly share things not for people whoare there and affected, although there's
a couple of resources there, but for folkswho are anywhere else and how we can help.
Nicole (03:06):
That's very helpful.
Patricia (03:08):
I tried to put it all in one place for people to also share.
So even if you can't give rightnow, like the people have given
a lot of physical donations.
Some haven't been great.
What I'm hearing is thatcash is really needed.
So, you know, you can find ways todonate cash if you have it, or of
course you can share that newsletterissue to maybe folks who might have
(03:30):
the ability to make some donations.
Nicole (03:32):
But yeah, that's, I think, a really important thing.
Like, yes, the government willlikely be helpful in the long run,
but for meeting immediate needs,the bureaucracy just slows things
down and people need help now.
Patricia (03:44):
Yeah.
Not after paperwork.
Nicole (03:47):
Yeah.
Patricia (03:47):
[Chuckle]
We did something unrelated.
We, the most recent weird thing we did
Nicole (03:53):
[Laughing]
Patricia (03:54):
was, I was, I was influenced by the internet and I
learned about a French vintage market
Nicole (04:03):
[Snort]
Patricia (04:04):
up in what we refer to as the North Bay, I think.
Nicole (04:08):
I think calling it a French vintage market is
overstating things a little bit.
Patricia (04:15):
Yeah, but they were, they were trying.
Nicole (04:17):
They were trying.
Patricia (04:18):
We had crepes that were mid.
Nicole (04:20):
Yeah, there was a truck there selling crepes.
Or not even a truck, it was a tent.
Patricia (04:24):
It was a tent.
Nicole (04:25):
It was a tent.
Patricia (04:25):
It was a tent selling crepes.
There was a trio, a vocalist,a keyboard player, and someone
playing the upright bass.
And they were singingFrench adjacent songs.
Nicole (04:39):
I think they were trying to sing European songs.
I'm pretty sure I heardan Italian song in there.
Patricia (04:45):
[Chuckle]
There was also some bossa nova, though.
Nicole (04:49):
Yeah.
Patricia (04:50):
Yeah.
But they were all, they were in, like,red pants and striped shirts and berets.
Nicole (04:57):
They were just missing, like, a little drawn on skinny mustache.
Patricia (05:01):
Yeah, there was, we did see a woman smoking a cigarette looking
at vintage furs, and that was probablythe most French part about it, and
I think it was unintentional, but.
Nicole (05:11):
Yeah, no, it was great though
Otherwise, it was kindof just like a standard
Patricia (05:15):
antique market
Nicole (05:16):
antique market flea market situation.
Patricia (05:19):
Yeah, I got a book.
I got a book about beans.
Nicole (05:22):
You got a bean book.
Patricia (05:23):
I got a bean book.
Nicole (05:24):
Hey!
From the, the California BeanGrowers Association or something?
Patricia (05:28):
Something like that, yeah.
Nicole (05:29):
[laughing]
Patricia (05:30):
Yeah, it's from like the 90s, but apparently there was a first,
volume one from the 80s, so now wehave something to look for as we go
to antique stores and used bookstores.
We have to find the first bean book.
Nicole (05:43):
The first California Bean association.
Patricia (05:46):
[Laughing]
Nicole (05:47):
Reminder, we have a Patreon.
I'm told you all knowwhat that is at this time.
So please go visit it patreon.com/eedapod.
Patricia (05:56):
Yep.
And we also have a bookshop storefrontwhere you can buy any of the books we
mentioned on the show and some I mentionedin the newsletter and things like that.
And we get a kickback becauseit's our affiliate shop.
So that is another way to supportus aside from listening and sharing.
Nicole (06:15):
Oh, and I am trying to participate more in the Patreon now.
Patricia (06:19):
That's true!
You are now showing up in ourweekly accountability posts.
Nicole (06:24):
Yes!
And if I remember and I'm not too tiredduring the rest of the week, I will also
try to come back and comment and talk withother people and stuff like that, too.
Patricia (06:33):
Look at you, working on your, working on your goals.
Nicole (06:36):
Ahh.
Patricia (06:37):
[Snicker]
Music (06:39):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (06:47):
So, I've been thinking about an Instagram post I saw the
other day from a person who goes bysharonsaysso that says, quote, In
moments like this, do for one personwhat you wish you could do for everyone.
Nicole (07:04):
Yeah, this is a lot like that parable where there's a beach full of
washed up sea stars, like, in the sand,and someone's throwing one or two back in,
or throwing some back in, and someone'slike, you can never help them all.
But the person is like, yeah,but, I made a difference for
that one that I just threw back.
Patricia (07:23):
Yeah, I've had a lot of conversations like that,
especially around DEI efforts.
Nicole (07:30):
Oof.
Patricia (07:30):
I've had people tell me they wish there was just one big
thing that could be done in one fellswoop that could affect everyone.
And I've had multiple people showdespair, feeling like they, as an
individual, couldn't do anything thatreally makes a difference, or moves the
needle, or however you want to put it.
Nicole (07:53):
Sorry, this isn't in the thing, but I was just thinking, like, that's
so, the like, I just wish I could do onething, that's so not community minded.
Patricia (08:01):
Can we just flip a switch and turn off racism?
Nicole (08:04):
[exhale]
Patricia (08:06):
Yeah.
Nicole (08:06):
Not have to like actually interact with anyone in the long term
Patricia (08:09):
nah
Nicole (08:09):
or make any significant changes in your life
Patricia (08:12):
no
Nicole (08:12):
or behavior or society or anything.
Patricia (08:13):
Just press that abolition button and uh, there you go.
Nicole (08:17):
Ah.
[laugh]
Patricia (08:18):
[Chuckle]
Nicole (08:19):
Whatever the terror de jour is, whether that's climate
catastrophe, transphobia, racism, theprison industrial complex, the unholy
Voltron of all these things together.
Patricia (08:31):
Oh my god.
Nicole (08:32):
It's important to remember that, like, one single action by one single
person is not what got us into this mess.
And so, we can't one person,one switch, fix it either.
Patricia (08:47):
I mean, if it was one person, it's probably Ronald Reagan, but
Nicole (08:51):
Oh, damn.
Yeah, that's true.
We can pin a lot on that one.
Patricia (08:56):
That's true.
We can find ourselves frozen,because we want to pick that one
right thing to do, but since wecan't, we end up doing nothing.
We just mindlessly scroll theinternet, take in the trauma, and do
nothing to address that trauma forourselves or each other, because we've
convinced ourselves that whateverwe need to do needs to be perfect.
Nicole (09:21):
Perfection holds us back once again.
There is no perfect action in any of this.
And this is something we talk about inone of our early episodes called, There's
No Such Thing as Five Star Cereal.
So if you want to hear kind of moreabout this perfectionism issue.
Patricia (09:38):
This trap of perfection.
Nicole (09:39):
This trap of perfectionism.
That's a really good way of putting it.
The importance is not that you do theone perfect thing, just do something.
Some thing.
Cause you know what's definitely,like, not a perfect thing?
Nothing.
Doing nothing is, like,the exact opposite.
Patricia (10:00):
It's kind of like that saying, like, you can't
win if you're not even playing.
And, and people think, like, well, Ican't donate ten thousand dollars to this
GoFundMe, so I won't donate anything.
But if you have five bucks thatyou can donate, then do that.
And if you don't have the cash, andeven if you do, you can share the
link out with people and maybe theycan pitch in or they can share it.
(10:23):
And as someone who works infundraising in her day job, like,
yeah, maybe at bigger organizations,it's harder to make a difference
with those five dollar donationsand the overhead and what have you.
But People's GoFundMe or someoneasking for money that matters.
Nicole (10:43):
This is a really important point.
I'm going to harp on it a little bit.
This is the power ofpeople in large numbers.
Like, most of us are not going tobe able to give a million dollars.
But if 200,000 people each give fivedollars, there's a million dollars.
When we each pitch in a little bit, wecan still achieve big change and make
(11:09):
major differences in people's lives.
You don't have to be theone that gives everything.
We each need to just give alittle of whatever we can.
And this is not just money, thisis time, energy, our voices.
Patricia (11:24):
And don't get it twisted.
There are billionaires out there rightnow that could give hundreds of millions
without breaking a sweat, and they aren't.
We don't have necessarily millions ofdollars on our side, but we do have
millions of people who can do something.
And like Nicole said, not just money.
Nicole (11:43):
Yeah, it's, it's not just about donating money.
You can't change the minds of thousandsof people, necessarily, but you can
have a hard conversation with a familymember, or a friend, or a coworker, and
that can make a difference down the line.
Patricia (12:05):
Ugh, yeah, that could be a whole other episode.
Like, it's so much easier topassively give five dollars than
to have that hard conversation.
Nicole (12:16):
Oh yeah.
Patricia (12:17):
Yeah.
Nicole (12:18):
And so kind of circling back to this, like, don't wait
to try to do the perfect thing.
You're going to get it wrong.
When you do something insteadof nothing, you're going to
get it wrong at some point.
And what that's whatever it is you do.
Maybe you share the wrong thing online.
Maybe you had the right intentabout a conversation, but the
(12:41):
impact is not what you hoped for.
Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia (12:46):
Louder for the people in the back.
Nicole (12:48):
Getting things wrong is part of trying.
Patricia (12:52):
You know what's usually worse than getting things wrong?
Is not even trying.
And also, not learning from how youmaybe got it wrong, and then learning
how to do it better next time.
This is my first time being human.
Of course I'm going to get things wrong.
Nicole (13:10):
Wait, wait, this is your first time?
Patricia (13:12):
Yeah, it was a punishment.
Nicole (13:14):
I say that like I'm surprised, but I'm pretty sure this is my first time too.
Patricia (13:18):
Yeah.
Nicole (13:19):
This is how we learn.
This is how we get better at doing things.
So this is kind of the other half, thereally important other half, is like,
acknowledging when you get somethingwrong, learn, do better from it.
Patricia (13:31):
Yeah.
Nicole (13:31):
But, I think about like, even when we were in
grade school, learning addition.
You didn't get the lesson andthen just get it perfectly.
Patricia (13:41):
I mean, I did.
[Laughing]
Nicole (13:43):
Like, okay, sometimes, those like seven and eights
multiplications are really hard.
Patricia (13:48):
That's, that's legit.
That's legit.
Nicole (13:50):
But like, we had to get it wrong and we had to work through it
to be better and get to a point wherewe do things correctly more often.
Patricia (14:00):
Yeah, I think caring is a practice.
It's a practice, and, and carryingthrough action is a practice too,
and it's something that you getbetter at the more you do it.
I know you're all tired of hearingit, but a really great resource on
figuring out what small things to dois the book Microactivism by Omkari L.
(14:23):
Williams.
I also frequently share resourcesof action items that people can
do for a number of things inthe Enthusiastic Encouragement
and Dubious Advice newsletter.
These things are always inthe issues without paywall.
They are always free 99.
Nicole (14:40):
Sharing them is also free 98.
Patricia (14:45):
Wait, 98?
You don't have to payone cent to share them?
Nicole (14:48):
No, usually if it ends in 98 that means it's like discounted or on a sale.
Patricia (14:52):
Oh.
Mmm.
I'll take two.
As you're doing things, it'simportant to continue to take care
of yourself as you care for others.
Sometimes this means stepping back,but there is a difference between
disengaging for a while and straightup avoidance of doing anything.
Nicole (15:15):
Oh man, that could also be a whole other episode.
Patricia (15:17):
[Chuckling]
Nicole (15:19):
But before we get there, maybe, maybe I have more work to do
in that area before we record it.
Music (15:24):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (15:33):
Let's talk about our takeaways.
I think the main thing I want you totake away from this is that we can't
all do everything, uh, no matter howhard we try and no matter if you are
like me and that's your personality.
We can't all do everything,but we can all do something.
Nicole (15:52):
And everyone doing A little something is how we can all get things
done without burning out completely.
Patricia (16:03):
Yeah.
Yeah, that is so deeply important.
Nicole (16:06):
Yeah, like, I'm thinking about this also in like,
time dedicated to something.
If I give all my time, I'm gonnaburn the heck out, but like
Patricia (16:15):
absolutely
Nicole (16:16):
if we all pitch in a little bit of time, then we can still get things done.
Patricia (16:21):
We have, uh, a little bit of extra time here.
Nicole (16:25):
We do.
Patricia (16:27):
I'm not necessarily going to share a resource, but
I will share a little bit of abook I just finished reading.
Nicole (16:35):
Ooh!
Patricia (16:36):
It's titled, What Fresh Hell Is This?
Perimenopause, Menopause,and Other Indignities.
by Heather Corinna.
And they are the founder of Scarleteen,who I've recommended that resource
a lot before in my newsletter.
And it is a book about perimenopauseand menopause that they really try to
(17:02):
make it as non gendered as, as possible.
And so it is more accessible to morepeople because not only cis women go
through menopause and perimenopause.
So it sounds terrifying,but I am of that age.
So I was like, you know what?
I need to not be afraid of information,especially as someone who goes
(17:25):
around calling myself The Infophile.
Like, I need to be notafraid of information, so.
Nicole (17:31):
Yeah, I think that's going to show up on my reading list pretty soon.
Patricia (17:34):
Probably.
Nicole (17:36):
So I can understand what's going on and what I have to look forward to.
Patricia (17:39):
That too.
Nicole (17:40):
[Giggling]
Oh, joy.
Well, this has beenPatricia's Book Corner.
Patricia (17:45):
Yeah, sure.
Well, do you have a book to share or no?
Nicole (17:47):
I don't remember what I've been reading lately.
Patricia (17:49):
That's legit.
Nicole (17:49):
When you put me on the spot,
Patricia (17:51):
yep
Nicole (17:51):
I completely blank out.
Even though I've completed,I've read probably four or
five books already this year.
Patricia (17:59):
You can't name one of them.
Nicole (18:00):
My brain's like, you have not read a single book this year.
I don't know any books.
We don't read books.
Patricia (18:04):
[Laughing]
Nicole (18:07):
Welcome to, uh, what it's like to have ADHD sometimes.
Patricia (18:12):
Nicole's ADHD corner.
Nicole (18:15):
It's great.
We lay on the floor, we make up songs,
Patricia (18:18):
[Laughing]
Nicole (18:21):
we eat crunchy foods.
Patricia (18:23):
You certainly do.
You certainly do.
Nicole (18:26):
Patricia.
Patricia (18:27):
Yes, Nicole.
Nicole (18:28):
It is three days before the inauguration.
Patricia (18:32):
Sure.
Nicole (18:33):
What has been filling your cup lately?
Patricia (18:36):
We are planning a trip.
It will be our first timeon a plane since 2019.
So I have anxiety around that, but itis also a trip to a place that I love,
that I haven't been to in decades,and to do things that I love doing.
(18:56):
And I'm being vague on purpose, and it'sthe only thing keeping me going right
now, and I hope it, I hope it pans out.
I hope things don't go sosideways that we can't do it.
Nicole (19:06):
I look forward to continued planning with you, and finding
weird little places to visit,and eat at, and everything.
Patricia (19:13):
Yeah.
Nicole, what's filling your cup?
Nicole (19:16):
Um, friends!
We saw friends at boththe ze French market.
Patricia (19:23):
Oh no!
[Giggling]
Nicole (19:25):
Um, but also we, there was a, a recent bookstore and
chocolate crawl in the East Bay.
It was, it was both sides, butwe went to the East Bay side of
it and saw some more friends.
Patricia (19:36):
Yeah!
Nicole (19:36):
So it was a very friend filled weekend and that, that was
really, that was really good for me.
I have a feeling this year is reallygoing to help me learn about the
importance of friends and communitybeyond what I already know.
Patricia (19:51):
Yeah.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.comand we'll leave a link to
that in our show notes.
Nicole (20:00):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com,
that's E E D A P O D dot com.
There, you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand bluesky at eedapod and
(20:22):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (20:25):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (20:27):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe
and rate us on Apple Podcasts orSpotify or YouTube or wherever you
get your podcasts that allow ratings.
It really does go far inhelping other people find us.
Patricia (20:41):
We would also appreciate anyone who can subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself,
drink some water, and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
(21:03):
We're a little fried.
Nicole (21:04):
We're a little fried.
Patricia (21:04):
We're a little fried.
Nicole (21:05):
I think a little is also understating it.
Patricia (21:07):
I think a little is also understating it.
Nicole (21:08):
I feel like I've spent the week in the air fryer.
[Sound of Patricia being squicked out]
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