June 11, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode of "Enthusiastic Encouragement and Dubious Advice," Patricia and Nicole discuss their mid-year review of personal goals, emphasizing decluttering and strengthening community connections. They offer book recommendations for Pride Month, focusing on LGBTQ+ history and resources. The hosts also share what's currently bringing them joy, such as tending to a blooming plumeria and immersing themselves in vinyl records.
Mentioned on the show:
-
Bookshop Affiliate Storefront (links below are affiliate)
-
Become a patron! Patreon.com/eedapod
-
Subscribe to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Newsletter
-
Revisiting Goals? In THIS Economy? Focusing on Purpose & Joy via EEDA Pod
-
Dawn by Octavia E. Butler
-
A Starting Place to Learn About Pride & the Queer Community via EEDA Pod
-
A Quick & Easy Guide to Coming Out by Kristin Russo & illustrated by Ravi Teixeira
-
Best Books We Read in 2024 via EEDA Pod
-
He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters by Schuyler Bailar
-
I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl’s Notes from the End of the World by Kai Cheng Thom
-
Marsha: The Joy and Defiance of Marsha P. Johnson by Tourmaline
-
Miss Major Speaks: Conversations with a Black Trans Revolutionary by Major Griffin-Gracy and Toshio Meronek
-
Transgender History: The Roots of Today’s Revolution by Susan Stryker
-
Rainbow History Class: Your Guide Through Queer and Trans History by Hannah McElhinney
-
Let The Record Show: A Political History of ACT UP New York, 1987 - 1993 by Sarah Schulman
-
The Fantasy and Necessity of Solidarity by Sarah Schulman
-
Juliet Takes a Breath (novel) by Gabby Rivera
-
Juliet Takes a Breath (graphic novel) by Gabby Rivera, illustrated by Celia Moscote
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
Follow the show on Instagram & find us on
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Intro Music]
(00:15):
Hey there, Scooby Snacks, welcometo Enthusiastic Encouragement and
Dubious Advice, the podcast forfolks who would rather curl into
the fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
And I'm here, I'm queer,and I am exhausted.
I'm Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We're recording thisshow on June 6th, 2025.
(00:36):
Happy Pride.
It is Pride.
It is Pride.
I dunno what to say about that.
Like, I mean, it's, it's alwayspride here in this household.
Oh yes.
As our windows castrainbows on everything.
True, true.
We hope that those of you whocelebrate can find some joy this month.
(01:00):
I know things have been extrahard, like extra, extra hard.
But find some joy, find some community.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope you find that community.
Recently, the big thing betweenwhen we last recorded a show and
when we're recording this one, iswe finally carved out like a day,
(01:20):
like a good six to seven hours.
And went through some of theboxes of my mom's stuff that we
have sitting in the back room.
And we didn't get through everything,but I do think we got through
like a dozen boxes and we madea good like dent in the pile.
Yeah.
I, I wasn't keeping count, but I'mmeasuring by now we can access the futon
(01:44):
that they were all stacked up in front of.
Yeah, that's true.
And Nicole was great about addingthat little spoonful of sugar and
keeping things from being too hard.
You know, there weredefinitely hard parts.
I cried when I found some pictures,but we found all kinds of things.
And also you, our soundtrackwas records that day.
(02:05):
You put on records.
Yeah, I put on a bunch of records.
It was fun.
Putting on records was actually a greatkind of way to track when we take breaks
and get snacks and drink water, 'cause youhave to either change the record or flip
it over at least every 22 minutes or so.
Yeah.
When we say we were listening torecords, we were listening to like
real vinyl records on a turntable.
(02:28):
Yeah.
But it's great for kind of keepingtime and making sure you take breaks.
Yeah, it worked out really well.
Reminder that this show is independentlyrun, so downloading it, sharing
it, giving us reviews and ratingsare free ways to show us support
and really, really important.
If you have a few bucks to donate, ourPatreon membership start at $3 a month.
(02:53):
Even if you don't want to engagewith the content there, like
we definitely do not force you.
It's a way to donate to theshow and help us keep going.
Second tier gets access to the newsletterand the third tier, the Dubious
Advisors, there are 10 spots, you'llget a monthly snail mail experience.
Yeah, we are a strong independent podcast,but you know, this show costs money.
(03:17):
It does.
And a lot of labor.
And a lot of labor, yeah.
Heads up, we are going to mentionsome books on this show, this time.
This episode?
And if you are interested in gettingyourself a copy of any of those,
you can head on over to our bookshoppage, a link to which is on our
(03:37):
webpage and in the show notes.
And there you can order anyof the books that we mention.
And I think you can getdigital copies now, right?
Yeah, I think bookshop does eBooks now
eBooks
and physical books, and you both supportindependent bookstores and it is our
affiliate shop, so it's another wayto support us on this show as well.
(03:58):
[Transition Music]
So it is just about halfway throughthe year, so we are going to look
at our old friends, our 2025 goals.
After we get through these, we're gonnarecommend some books for Pride month.
(04:24):
The last time we checked in on ourgoals for this show was in March in our
episode that was called Revisiting Goals?
In THIS Economy?
Focusing on Purpose and Joy, which isactually one of our most popular episodes.
Which I'm really amused by.
I am like, what about this epi?
Like what about that episode?
(04:44):
Like did people really enjoy?
I don't know, but hey, full disclosure,we talked about goals at the beginning of
March, and then I promptly got distractedby New York City and my birthday and
picking cherries and going to the theaterhere at home and networking events.
What else did we do?
Oh, we were in an art show and we wentto the Parliament Funkadelic concert,
(05:09):
and also just being in utter denialabout some of the hard things here
at home that need to be addressed.
But I'm going to arguethat's what I needed.
Maybe not the denial, but the abundanceof social time has been restorative.
Yeah, and like I said, the last time werevisited 'em on the show was for that
episode, but that was also kind of thelast time we revisited our goals like
(05:32):
womp womp
in general.
All that being said, we havedone some things, uh, like you
mentioned, we made a dent in thepiles of boxes of your mom's stuff.
And that was actually some of thestuff that I was in denial about too.
So like, I'm glad we did that andI wanna keep that momentum going.
I am also working on sorting through myold wardrobe to put stuff up for sale
(05:56):
on Poshmark or something like that.
And hey, if anyone wants pinupstyle dresses and skirts,
that is what is being sold.
The first step was to unearth theboxes, and then we invested in a
printer so I can print shipping labelsbecause it is a lot of clothing.
It really is.
Is this like a, a new goal because, thisI don't think was specifically on it.
(06:19):
Maybe like helping clearout the office was?
I think one of our big goals atthe beginning of the year was just
a very general decluttering, andso I think this falls under, it.
Falls under that.
Yeah.
Okay.
One of the things we've talkedabout as part of our goals for
this year is updating our emergencypacks and taking first aid classes.
(06:41):
I haven't really done much with thoseemergency packs since we last talked
in March, and at that time I got newbatteries for the walkie talkies.
But in prepping for this episode,we did just look up classes, which
are offered through the Red Cross.
And they provide a combination of adultand pediatric first aid CPR/AED classes.
(07:04):
In our area, it looks like theyrun about $85 a person, and there's
a wide variety of online andin-person classes or in combination.
Yeah, I, first of all, I wasmaking this way more complicated
I know
than it needed to be.
I was like, okay, where dowe take first aid classes?
Do we have to contact thelocal fire department?
(07:27):
Does the library give first aid classes?
And then my wife, the former EMT waslike, oh, Red Cross does classes.
And you say this like everyone knows it.
But this was news to me.
I know it was one of those things thatin my head feels like it's an, everybody
knows it thing, but I guess they don't.
(07:47):
Not me.
But when we were looking'em up, it was really cool.
There were a lot of online options,but there were also classes for like
emergency dog and cat, like pet care.
There were some wilderness ones.
There was a class you mentionedthat was basically what to do
while you wait for help to arrive.
(08:09):
Yeah.
There were actually a lot of cooloptions, and I appreciate the wealth
of online options there were too.
Mm-hmm.
One of my goals this year, as you allknow, was to learn how to crochet.
After I took those couple of classesat the beginning of the year, I have
not touched my crochet hook or yarn.
(08:29):
You know, I do have an abundanceof those woobles sets, and I do
not have an abundance of time, soit just hasn't been prioritized.
It is still a want, but it isnot high on the list anymore.
Yeah, and there's, I think partof that is we don't do a lot of
(08:51):
things where you're just kind ofsitting and not using your hands.
Like I know a lot of people dothat kind of stuff when they're
watching TV and stuff like that,but we don't really do that.
Well, I could do it with audiobooks, but first I have to
learn how to do it well enough
mmm
in order to be able to pay attentionto both crochet and the audio book.
(09:13):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
One of our other goals was to readan Octavia Butler series and I had
picked out the Xenogenesis Trilogy,which is also known as Lilith's Brood.
And this, we did make progress on,we both recently finished reading
Dawn, the first book in the series.
Yeah.
And we actually had gotten a firstedition copy, like hardcover of
(09:36):
that book, and it's fascinating.
Because there are twowhite women on the cover.
Mm-hmm.
Which the main character,she is not a white woman.
Nope.
But as they did with sci-fi back then,especially is they would put white people
on the cover, even if it was a blackauthor, and even if they were black
(09:58):
characters because they thought that whitereaders would not buy the books otherwise.
I'm more cynical.
I'm like, did they also thinkblack people didn't read sci-fi?
That too, right?
Right.
Did they?
I mean, the audience, right?
Yeah.
Oh, the audience won't go for this.
The audience default being white people.
Yeah.
I wonder if that wasalso also a part of it.
(10:21):
Eew.
But we read the first book.
I'm excited for the future ones.
It did not go at all, like I anticipated.
But to be fair, I am sometimesa very chaotic reader and I'll
just pick up a book and not evenlook and see what it's about.
I'll just,
yeah
I'll just read.
I had no idea where thisbook was even gonna go.
(10:41):
Yeah.
And I listened to it on audiobookand in that last 10 minutes, she
really just goes for it like, yeah.
Yeah.
Another thing that we had wanted to do waskind of looking at our months ahead and
really planning the calendar and kind ofhaving an an idea of what was going on.
And I think we did that kind of forMarch, but we had travel in there.
(11:06):
We didn't do it for April,we didn't do it for May.
We're looking forward to doing it forJune and also getting back to like
this, our goals check-in, becausewe also have some goals and stuff
that we don't talk about on theshow, so we wanna look at those too.
One of the other things we've beenworking on this year is being more
social and hosting guests at our home.
(11:26):
And when we do that, that means thatwe do have to do a certain level of
keeping the house clean and in order.
We have been incredibly social lately.
We have, we have, we haven't hostedpeople as much as we had hoped,
but you know, there's still time.
But we've been very social.
Yeah.
More social than we have been
(11:46):
in
since before the pandemic.
Yeah, I was gonna say in years.
Still mostly outside though.
And if we're indoors, we're masked.
Yep.
One of the other things I had on mylist is to level up this podcast.
I have, again, so manyideas, so little time.
I finally did gather the ideas all ina single place in the podcast notebook.
(12:11):
And, uh, one of my ideas that I'mthinking about, and I would love people's
feedback on this, like, let us know.
Are y'all into printables, like worksheetsor things that could be helpful for
you to have and customize for yourself?
Kind of outlines of things I'vewritten about in the newsletter or
(12:35):
maybe even talked about on the show.
Things like filling your cup.
That's something I'm thinking of andI'm hoping to work on my first idea
very soon, and I think I could sellprintables through a Patreon shop.
Like you can download the PDF for afew bucks and print at home or the
library if you don't have a printer.
Yeah, use the library.
I have been supposed to be more involvedon our Patreon, and while I have been
(13:05):
contributing to the weekly check-in,I have not been great on following up,
logging in and doing more interactions.
I think I just need to do that.
Yeah.
You know, the one thing that I, I'veheard of in, you know, like Atomic
Habits or whatever, is kind of thinkabout a thing you do at the same time.
(13:27):
Like maybe while I'm brushingmy teeth, that's a thing you do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, there's, I think there's acouple of things I could link it to.
I just have to start linking it.
Yeah, that's fair.
I desperately want to get back tolearning piano and ukulele, but again,
low on time, low on spell slots, andit's just not a reality right now.
(13:49):
You can want things all, all youwant, but you know, I am actually more
focused on the decluttering I think.
Yeah.
Is my priority, like that's,that's more pressing to me.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Kind of along those lineswas my exercise plan.
I had incredibly goodintentions earlier this year.
Many people did, yes.
(14:11):
Uhhuh.
Yeah, I did good for like a month.
Yeah.
And something happened.
Well, something happened.
I've been working.
You've been working a lot.
I work a lot and I exhaust myself.
And this does involve I'm, I'm alsogoing into the office like three
days a week right now, which reallycuts down on my work from home days,
(14:32):
which is when I typically had moretime to do things like exercise
because then I didn't have commute.
Yeah.
So that has just kind of fallen off.
You and I were talking though aboutmaybe finding other ways to do it
and really just finding a way tokind of radically shift something
in our week to make room for this.
Yeah.
And I think something that hashelped me with other things is
(14:55):
actually taking a class, right?
Yeah.
Being accountable, againwith the accountability.
Being accountable to another person,like actually paying for something.
Mm-hmm.
And we have some ideas, but honestlythings are a bit shaky at my job right
now as they are at a lot of universities.
So I'm waiting to get throughthe end of this fiscal year.
(15:15):
Yeah.
Before we make any other big plans.
That makes a lot of sense.
One of my goals was to read 15 physicalbooks, and this was one to read,
but two in service to decluttering.
Right?
The idea is read 15 physical books andthen I can get rid of some of those
books because I have read them and I canset them free, pass them on whatever.
(15:40):
And I've actually read eightphysical books so far this year.
Like I've read a lot of audio books.
I've read a lot of eBooks, but thereare eight physical copies, physical
versions that I have, and I think Imight only be keeping like two of them.
So...
All right.
Yeah.
Well done.
Thanks.
This next one is a bitof a success so far.
(16:02):
It is my ongoing fancymail project, M-A-I-L.
And some of the people out therewho may be listening to this podcast
may have been recipients of that.
Congratulations I guess.
I love you.
Thank you.
Um, but yeah, I've donepretty good about this.
I've included some pressedflowers, I've included pictures.
I have used fancy paper.
(16:24):
I don't know what you'redoing with your fingers there.
Uh, you used your typewriter.
I did use my typewriter.
That's what that motion was.
Yes.
I'm not doing like itsy bitsy spider.
I really wasn't surewhat was happening there.
I haven't, I have not yet done a waxseal to close the envelopes up, but I
(16:46):
think I've done everything else but that.
Oh, yeah.
I did get you a cool waxseal for December-ween.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Okay.
One of the things I've definitelyfallen off the wagon about
is no phone after 9:00 PM.
I was doing really great with that,like the first three months of the year.
Mm-hmm.
(17:06):
And then just out the window and Irealize it is something I do more
of when I'm even more stressed.
Yeah.
So I think.
I really wanna get back to that.
Like I am better for it when I'm notlooking at my phone after 9:00 PM.
Mm-hmm.
This next one was my desire to hangart, and while we did purchase frames as
(17:30):
mentioned in the March episode, the onlynotes I have here since then say, whoops,
because this has just not happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's still a, a would love to do andlike I said, I think we're really
focusing on going through some boxes.
Yeah.
Decluttering.
Going through boxes.
(17:50):
Yeah.
Trying to get some stuff out.
This year I had chosen threefocus words to work on, and
one of them was connection.
And I think we've been doinga really good job of that.
We've been both hanging out with ourusual friends, we've made new friends.
When we went to New York, I got toreconnect with friends I haven't seen
(18:11):
in years or even decades, and that wasreally, really good for connection.
Another one of my words was creation.
I feel pretty confident in myegg pasta dough, like making
the dough, kneading the dough.
Pretty good at rolling the dough outwith the machine and I've hand cut some.
(18:36):
We also have cut it with the machine.
I think the next step in my pastacreation is going to be making shapes.
[Gasp] Shapes.
Yeah.
Not yet filled pasta.
But like maybe like farfalleor something or, or like, or
like a little rolled situation.
(18:57):
But we successfully made jam and preservesthis year, which I'm really excited about.
Like I feel like I have a handle onat least canning fruit in that way.
And also looking forwardto making some zines.
And so I had connection creation and thatlast word I had chosen was reclamation.
(19:18):
There are a lot of things that Imiss about a person I used to be,
things I used to do that I loved thatI don't do anymore, but I wanna get
back to doing or do in some capacity.
And I think going to NewYork helped with that.
Yeah, it really, I could tell on the wayback, it un it like unlocked something.
(19:43):
So it's June and I, I'm curious, do youhave any, like any kind of new goals, like
mid-year goals that you're interested in?
Says here because you canstart new ones at any time.
I think June is an appropriate monthto start, like a new goal or something.
It's not like August orSeptember that feels totally off.
(20:03):
I wouldn't recommend it, but June,June feels like a good month to
like start something new, likemaybe plan a new goal or something.
Yeah.
I mean, summer solstice is in June,so if you need, if you need some
kind of arbitrary start to things.
No, just vibes.
Just vibes, you know, I think, I think I'mjust kind of solidifying the things I'm
(20:25):
gonna focus on more the rest of the year.
Which one is just the no phone after9:00 PM I just need to knock it off.
This is me not gentleparenting myself, by the way.
Um, and the other thing isin service to decluttering.
Like what can we do toget stuff out of here?
Stuff that needs to be sold or donatedor given away or, or what have you.
(20:51):
So I think those are maybe aside fromsome creative things and some podcast
stuff, like I said, maybe some writing,but mostly less phone or rather being more
deliberate about when I'm on my phone.
It might not even be less phone.
Mm-hmm.
Like no phone after nine, but if I'm on myphone, I want to have made that decision
(21:13):
and not mindlessly have picked it up.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
How about you?
Do you have, you know, have you zeroedin on more focus the second half of
the year or do you have any new goals?
I think there are a few like goals I setthat have, I feel like they've really kind
of solidified and I'm happy with them.
So I think the one thing I wannafocus more on, kind of also
(21:35):
in service to the declutteringis a, a full closet clean out.
We were talking about this and I realizedI think I have things in there that
I've had for like five years and havenever really worn out or like wore
it once and I can probably let it go.
Yeah.
I think you know what, going throughso much of my mom's stuff has kind
(21:55):
of unlocked that willingness orthat ease in letting things go.
I think I'm more amenable to lettingthings go, um, after having gone
through and seen all the things sheheld onto that were so unnecessary.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(22:15):
[Transition Music]
Now we wanna shift into some bookrecommendations for Pride, because
we don't want our first episode ofPride to just be like, ugh, here's
all the hard stuff we're doing,and maybe some fun stuff like
(22:36):
let's talk about some queer stuff.
And so we're gonna do what I dobest, some book recommendations.
And I've gotten Nicole todo it, uh, with me too.
So we're mostly focusing on nonfictionto hopefully give you some books
that can be a resource or you canlearn things from or use them as a
springboard for further learning.
(22:58):
We mentioned some books in the episodecalled A Starting Place to Learn About
Pride in the Queer Community, whichwas one of our June episodes last year.
And what I mostly mentionedwere the quick and easy guides.
Um, there's like The Quick and EasyGuide to Queer and Trans Identities,
the Quick and Easy Guide to Asexuality.
(23:19):
And they are still amazing.
I love them.
They're like little comic books.
And since that episode, they alsopublished A Quick and Easy Guide to Coming
Out by Kristin Russo and Ravi Teixeira.
We also have an episode, um, onsome help for folks coming out that
also I think, came out last June.
(23:39):
So should be set.
Is this our new segment,uh, EEDA Backlist?
[Chuckle]
I'm gonna kick us off with a bookI mentioned in the best books we
read in 2024, which is He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why (23:51):
undefined
It Matters by Schuyler Bailar.
If you want to hear more aboutwhy I recommend that book.
Go back and listen to our BestBooks We Read in 2024 episode.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll link that one.
That's one that, uh, I definitelybought for a family member, like
(24:14):
an, like an older family memberwho is cisgender, straight, and
they found it actually informative.
Yeah.
So my first pick
[Laughing]
is, I Hope We Choose Love (24:26):
A Trans Girl's Notes from the End
of the World by Kai Cheng Thom.
This book is really for a queer audience,especially a queer adult audience.
Though maybe some older teensmight get some stuff out of it too.
There are so many ways that we inthe queer community can cannibalize
(24:49):
ourselves or repeat harms that weare critical of in other communities.
Or just repeat, you know, I'm gonna sayit like repeating heteronormativity, but
just, you know, maybe in the same gender,uh, relationships, or forsaking community
(25:09):
in service of, of that heteronormativity,even though folks may be queer.
And this book is not a long one, butit's a really, really important one.
I do think every queeradult should read this book.
I will, of course, we'll link theseboth in the show notes and then on our
bookshop page, we have a section thatis like books mentioned on the podcast.
(25:36):
So you'll be able to find them there.
I will read everythingKai Cheng Thom writes.
Absolutely.
I adore them.
I think they're soimportant to our community.
I could just gush, but instead I'm gonnapop over to a book that just came out.
This is Marsha (25:50):
The Joy and Defiance of Marsha P. Johnson by Tourmaline.
I have been telling people as I amraving about this book, this is the
definitive biography of Marsha P. Johnson.
Most people who have heard of her probablyknow the story that she threw the first
(26:11):
brick at Stonewall or something like that.
And that's typically the extentthat most people know about Marsha.
And Marsha was so much more, andshe was so beloved by the community
in New York City and beyond.
And this book really goes into the restof her life and how, how incredibly
(26:34):
important she was to everyone.
And how radiant she was.
Oh my gosh.
Just
brought joy to everyoneshe interacted with.
Absolutely.
Whether you wanted it or not,
she would bring it in avery New York fashion.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, you're reading thephysical book and there are pictures
Yes
in the physical book and I,I read it on audio book and
(26:57):
Tourmaline reads the audio book.
Uh, I think both are great experiences.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I definitely gotmisty-eyed during some of it.
Oh yeah, for sure.
I really just, anyone who wants to knowabout the history of our community,
this is so important because her lifeexpanded decades beyond Stonewall,
(27:18):
um, into the early years of the AIDScrisis, and she was involved throughout,
and of course, you'll get bits andpieces of those who interacted around
her, including Sylvia Rivera, who,if you don't know who that is, you
should also know who Sylvia Rivera was.
Another book is uh, Miss MajorSpeaks: Conversations with a
(27:41):
Black Trans Revolutionary byToshio Meronek and Miss Major.
And Miss Major is a transactivist who is blessedly still
with us, still doing the work.
You can donate to someof her projects still.
And she is out therestill fighting the fight.
Yeah, I think she's down in the south now.
(28:04):
I think so.
And I think she does a lot of work aroundhousing and stability for the community.
Yeah.
Um, and she is also a Stonewall veteran.
Absolutely.
And in this book, this book, Ilaughed out loud a number of times
because she pulled no punches.
Oh.
Uh, it's, ugh delicious.
(28:25):
Absolutely delicious.
As you hear me talking, or hear ustalking about various time points in
our community's history, and you may befinding yourself going, what is that?
I don't know what that is.
I don't know who that is.
Or if you have an interestjust more broadly in history.
I recommend the book, TransgenderHistory: The Roots of Today's
(28:48):
Revolution by Susan Stryker.
This book is now currently in itssecond edition, and that was published
in 2017, so it doesn't include anyof the history from the last, what
is that now, eight years or so.
Susan Stryker is the preeminent transhistorian, if there is one amongst us.
(29:09):
Every time I pick up this book andleaf through it, I find bits of
history that send me down rabbit holes.
I first listened to, or firstread this book, on audiobook.
And while you can do that, as I'm leafingthrough it more and more, I'm seeing its
structure also lends something to kindof understanding what it's talking about.
(29:32):
And there are pictures in it as well.
Even though it is, uh, currentlypaperback, so they're just
black and white pictures, butit does help with that as well.
I also have a history book recommendation.
Full disclosure, I have not read thisbook and I tend to stay away from
recommending books I haven't read yet.
(29:52):
Honestly, there have been booksthat I have read intending to
talk about on the other show I do.
And the last 10 pages, all of asudden it gets transphobic or it gets
misogynist or it gets ableist and I'mlike, I can't recommend this book now.
So that's why I'm often very hesitant torecommend books I haven't myself read.
(30:15):
So this one is on my TBR.
I have flipped through it.
It's called Rainbow History Class: Your Guide Through Queer and Trans (30:19):
undefined
History by Hannah McElhinney.
I think Hannah McElhinney started,uh, Rainbow History class maybe
on TikTok, and maybe she hascontent other in other places.
This book is, I don'tthink it's for children.
I think, children children, I thinkteens can get a lot out of it.
(30:43):
Teens, adults.
It is, I think currentlystill a hardcover.
Um, and there are a lot of illustrationsin it, and it goes through like a bunch
of different events and people and places.
And it's one of those, like, you can readit all the way through if you want to.
(31:05):
Or you can just like pick upand learn about a couple of
things every once in a while.
What's that?
You want more history books?
I've got you covered.
Hey, you know, knowing where we'vebeen can help direct where we're going.
And that's the exact reasonI've picked this next book.
(31:26):
Mm-hmm.
My next book is Let the Record Show: A Political History of Act Up New (31:27):
undefined
York, 1987 to 1993 by Sarah Schulman.
This is a big book.
Um, if you get the paper back like Ihave, eh, the print is a little smaller.
It is that big because itcovers so much material.
(31:48):
This book documents the activitiesof ACT UP New York during the
early years of the AIDS crisis.
And for those of you going,Nicole, what is ACT UP?
ACT UP was a political activistgroup whose mission statement says
that they are, quote, a diverse,non-partisan group of individuals
united in anger and committed todirect action to end the AIDS crisis.
(32:12):
Their actions are, if youcould say any group had like
legendary actions, it is ACT UP.
They are the ones who sponsoredlike the AIDS die-ins, or I guess
not necessarily sponsored, but did.
Yeah
like the AIDS die-insand things like that.
They used a real multi-prongedapproach of direct action, but also
(32:35):
in higher levels of working withgovernments and things like that.
Like they, they managed to get themselvesseated at the table for some things,
so they were incredibly successful.
And this book goes into detailas to what they did to be so
successful with their actions.
That is the reason I'm recommendingthis book because I think there
(32:58):
are a lot of lessons to be learned,especially this day and age when
we are once again in our communityfacing issues related to healthcare.
The author, Sarah Schulman, I thinkis a journalist, and she also recently
had a book come out called The Fantasyand Necessity of Solidarity, and I
actually learned about this becauseshe was on an episode of the podcast
(33:22):
How to Survive the End of the World.
I will link both that podcastepisode because it is great,
and also this book as well.
I haven't read it yet, but again,it is on my never ending TBR.
My last book recommendationfor today though is Juliette
Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera.
This is actually fiction.
Um, it's older fiction and I havethe graphic novel, but it's based
(33:46):
on a novel of the same name, andit is fiction you can learn from.
It is one of my favorite revisitsand it's just, it's a good one.
I think it's a classic, Icall it a queer classic.
[Transition Music]
(34:11):
Okay, Patricia, we kind ofdid a split episode here.
We did.
What do you want people to take awayfrom this other than going book shopping?
Well, aside from reading some books,remember that your goals serve you.
You don't serve them.
Huh.
(34:31):
Yeah, I know.
Nicole, what are, what's, uh, some ofthe takeaways you want people to take?
We're at about the halfway pointthrough the year, at least in
the standard calendar year.
Things change.
It's okay to reevaluate your goals,drop some goals, add some new ones.
You know, when it comes tothese things, the rules are made
(34:52):
up, the points don't matter.
Yeah.
Just have fun with it.
I know things are wild out there,what's been filling your cup?
[Exhale]
My plumeria, who is named Plantybecause I named things like Peewee
Herman our, and our couch is Couchy.
It is?
Uh, yeah.
(35:12):
Oh no.
You didn't know her name?
No.
Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry Couchy.
And, uh.
We have many plants, but thisone particular plant is Planty,
and she was the first plant Ihad, and she is a plumeria that
my mother brought from a grower.
She was just like alittle stick back in 2015.
(35:35):
She brought over from Maui andgave her to me, and I planted her.
We were living in Pasadena.
And we just kind of cared forher from 2015 on, and she bloomed
for us the first time in 2020.
And then she bloom, this is thesecond time she has bloomed.
(35:55):
Five years, like five yearslater, she's bloomed again.
The thing is, is that we were toldPlumeria don't bloom in Oakland
and especially not indoors.
We have her under a grow light.
She's in a pot indoors.
We were told they don't grow here.
Oh, they don't grow here either.
Yeah.
They don't grow here.
(36:16):
They don't bloom here.
And yet she's full of flowers.
You know, I have posted on my personalInstagram and also in, in a recent
newsletter, some pictures and no onetold Planty that she can't bloom me here.
And we have treated her as if she can.
Yeah.
And I think there's like abigger, you know, lesson here.
(36:39):
She is definitely a survivor too, becausea couple years ago she grew too tall for
herself and got heavy, top heavy and broke
Broke in half.
in half.
Yeah.
Well, in 2017 when we went to Chinawe had a friend watch her, and Planty
didn't like not being in our apartment,so she dropped all her leaves.
(37:02):
Yeah, so she's, she's been through it.
She's a survivor.
Nicole, what's filling your cup?
As I mentioned earlier, we werelistening to some records while we
were doing some boxes, but with that,I've also started just putting on
records occasionally in the evening.
And I don't listen to a lot of music,like I don't listen to the radio.
(37:24):
I typically don't have streaming servicesplaying while I work, I don't like music.
And so in doing this, I'm being reallyintentional about the music I'm listening
to, and that's just been really nice.
Yeah, I like it.
I'm always interested inlike what you pick out next.
I mean, yeah, there's some thatI would just keep spinning over
(37:47):
and over again, but we have a lotof records and I feel like some
Again, with the decluttering,we also have a lot of records to
go through that we inherited, so
Yes.
That too.
Yeah, we need to do a record party.
We keep talking about that.
Yeah.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com,and we'll leave a link to
(38:08):
that in our show notes.
You can find the full show notesand transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E-E-D-A-P-O-D dot com.
There you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link to
the ongoing, Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can find us also on BlueSky andInstagram and YouTube at eedapod
(38:33):
and email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
We are nothing if not consistent
except for how we do thisoutro sometimes I guess.
We?
Like you and the mouse in your pocket?
Uh huh.
We would also appreciate it so much ifyou would subscribe and rate us on Apple
Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you getyour podcasts that allow for ratings.
(38:55):
It really goes far in helpingother people find us because we
are a strong, independent podcast.
We are strong.... Weshould make some merch.
We would also appreciate anyone whocan subscribe to us on Patreon support
there is going to help us keep thisshow going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
(39:18):
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself,
drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
A mouse in my pocket?
You gonna let me havea mouse in my pocket?
Absolutely not.
Aww.
[Intro Music]
(00:15):
Hey there, Scooby Snacks, welcometo Enthusiastic Encouragement and
Dubious Advice, the podcast forfolks who would rather curl into
the fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
And I'm here, I'm queer,and I am exhausted.
I'm Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We're recording thisshow on June 6th, 2025.
(00:36):
Happy Pride.
It is Pride.
It is Pride.
I dunno what to say about that.
Like, I mean, it's, it's alwayspride here in this household.
Oh yes.
As our windows castrainbows on everything.
True, true.
We hope that those of you whocelebrate can find some joy this month.
(01:00):
I know things have been extrahard, like extra, extra hard.
But find some joy, find some community.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope you find that community.
Recently, the big thing betweenwhen we last recorded a show and
when we're recording this one, iswe finally carved out like a day,
(01:20):
like a good six to seven hours.
And went through some of theboxes of my mom's stuff that we
have sitting in the back room.
And we didn't get through everything,but I do think we got through
like a dozen boxes and we madea good like dent in the pile.
Yeah.
I, I wasn't keeping count, but I'mmeasuring by now we can access the futon
(01:44):
that they were all stacked up in front of.
Yeah, that's true.
And Nicole was great about addingthat little spoonful of sugar and
keeping things from being too hard.
You know, there weredefinitely hard parts.
I cried when I found some pictures,but we found all kinds of things.
And also you, our soundtrackwas records that day.
(02:05):
You put on records.
Yeah, I put on a bunch of records.
It was fun.
Putting on records was actually a greatkind of way to track when we take breaks
and get snacks and drink water, 'cause youhave to either change the record or flip
it over at least every 22 minutes or so.
Yeah.
When we say we were listening torecords, we were listening to like
real vinyl records on a turntable.
(02:28):
Yeah.
But it's great for kind of keepingtime and making sure you take breaks.
Yeah, it worked out really well.
Reminder that this show is independentlyrun, so downloading it, sharing
it, giving us reviews and ratingsare free ways to show us support
and really, really important.
If you have a few bucks to donate, ourPatreon membership start at $3 a month.
(02:53):
Even if you don't want to engagewith the content there, like
we definitely do not force you.
It's a way to donate to theshow and help us keep going.
Second tier gets access to the newsletterand the third tier, the Dubious
Advisors, there are 10 spots, you'llget a monthly snail mail experience.
Yeah, we are a strong independent podcast,but you know, this show costs money.
(03:17):
It does.
And a lot of labor.
And a lot of labor, yeah.
Heads up, we are going to mentionsome books on this show, this time.
This episode?
And if you are interested in gettingyourself a copy of any of those,
you can head on over to our bookshoppage, a link to which is on our
(03:37):
webpage and in the show notes.
And there you can order anyof the books that we mention.
And I think you can getdigital copies now, right?
Yeah, I think bookshop does eBooks now
eBooks
and physical books, and you both supportindependent bookstores and it is our
affiliate shop, so it's another wayto support us on this show as well.
(03:58):
[Transition Music]
So it is just about halfway throughthe year, so we are going to look
at our old friends, our 2025 goals.
After we get through these, we're gonnarecommend some books for Pride month.
(04:24):
The last time we checked in on ourgoals for this show was in March in our
episode that was called Revisiting Goals?
In THIS Economy?
Focusing on Purpose and Joy, which isactually one of our most popular episodes.
Which I'm really amused by.
I am like, what about this epi?
Like what about that episode?
(04:44):
Like did people really enjoy?
I don't know, but hey, full disclosure,we talked about goals at the beginning of
March, and then I promptly got distractedby New York City and my birthday and
picking cherries and going to the theaterhere at home and networking events.
What else did we do?
Oh, we were in an art show and we wentto the Parliament Funkadelic concert,
(05:09):
and also just being in utter denialabout some of the hard things here
at home that need to be addressed.
But I'm going to arguethat's what I needed.
Maybe not the denial, but the abundanceof social time has been restorative.
Yeah, and like I said, the last time werevisited 'em on the show was for that
episode, but that was also kind of thelast time we revisited our goals like
(05:32):
womp womp
in general.
All that being said, we havedone some things, uh, like you
mentioned, we made a dent in thepiles of boxes of your mom's stuff.
And that was actually some of thestuff that I was in denial about too.
So like, I'm glad we did that andI wanna keep that momentum going.
I am also working on sorting through myold wardrobe to put stuff up for sale
(05:56):
on Poshmark or something like that.
And hey, if anyone wants pinupstyle dresses and skirts,
that is what is being sold.
The first step was to unearth theboxes, and then we invested in a
printer so I can print shipping labelsbecause it is a lot of clothing.
It really is.
Is this like a, a new goal because, thisI don't think was specifically on it.
(06:19):
Maybe like helping clearout the office was?
I think one of our big goals atthe beginning of the year was just
a very general decluttering, andso I think this falls under, it.
Falls under that.
Yeah.
Okay.
One of the things we've talkedabout as part of our goals for
this year is updating our emergencypacks and taking first aid classes.
(06:41):
I haven't really done much with thoseemergency packs since we last talked
in March, and at that time I got newbatteries for the walkie talkies.
But in prepping for this episode,we did just look up classes, which
are offered through the Red Cross.
And they provide a combination of adultand pediatric first aid CPR/AED classes.
(07:04):
In our area, it looks like theyrun about $85 a person, and there's
a wide variety of online andin-person classes or in combination.
Yeah, I, first of all, I wasmaking this way more complicated
I know
than it needed to be.
I was like, okay, where dowe take first aid classes?
Do we have to contact thelocal fire department?
(07:27):
Does the library give first aid classes?
And then my wife, the former EMT waslike, oh, Red Cross does classes.
And you say this like everyone knows it.
But this was news to me.
I know it was one of those things thatin my head feels like it's an, everybody
knows it thing, but I guess they don't.
(07:47):
Not me.
But when we were looking'em up, it was really cool.
There were a lot of online options,but there were also classes for like
emergency dog and cat, like pet care.
There were some wilderness ones.
There was a class you mentionedthat was basically what to do
while you wait for help to arrive.
(08:09):
Yeah.
There were actually a lot of cooloptions, and I appreciate the wealth
of online options there were too.
Mm-hmm.
One of my goals this year, as you allknow, was to learn how to crochet.
After I took those couple of classesat the beginning of the year, I have
not touched my crochet hook or yarn.
(08:29):
You know, I do have an abundanceof those woobles sets, and I do
not have an abundance of time, soit just hasn't been prioritized.
It is still a want, but it isnot high on the list anymore.
Yeah, and there's, I think partof that is we don't do a lot of
(08:51):
things where you're just kind ofsitting and not using your hands.
Like I know a lot of people dothat kind of stuff when they're
watching TV and stuff like that,but we don't really do that.
Well, I could do it with audiobooks, but first I have to
learn how to do it well enough
mmm
in order to be able to pay attentionto both crochet and the audio book.
(09:13):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
One of our other goals was to readan Octavia Butler series and I had
picked out the Xenogenesis Trilogy,which is also known as Lilith's Brood.
And this, we did make progress on,we both recently finished reading
Dawn, the first book in the series.
Yeah.
And we actually had gotten a firstedition copy, like hardcover of
(09:36):
that book, and it's fascinating.
Because there are twowhite women on the cover.
Mm-hmm.
Which the main character,she is not a white woman.
Nope.
But as they did with sci-fi back then,especially is they would put white people
on the cover, even if it was a blackauthor, and even if they were black
(09:58):
characters because they thought that whitereaders would not buy the books otherwise.
I'm more cynical.
I'm like, did they also thinkblack people didn't read sci-fi?
That too, right?
Right.
Did they?
I mean, the audience, right?
Yeah.
Oh, the audience won't go for this.
The audience default being white people.
Yeah.
I wonder if that wasalso also a part of it.
(10:21):
Eew.
But we read the first book.
I'm excited for the future ones.
It did not go at all, like I anticipated.
But to be fair, I am sometimesa very chaotic reader and I'll
just pick up a book and not evenlook and see what it's about.
I'll just,
yeah
I'll just read.
I had no idea where thisbook was even gonna go.
(10:41):
Yeah.
And I listened to it on audiobookand in that last 10 minutes, she
really just goes for it like, yeah.
Yeah.
Another thing that we had wanted to do waskind of looking at our months ahead and
really planning the calendar and kind ofhaving an an idea of what was going on.
And I think we did that kind of forMarch, but we had travel in there.
(11:06):
We didn't do it for April,we didn't do it for May.
We're looking forward to doing it forJune and also getting back to like
this, our goals check-in, becausewe also have some goals and stuff
that we don't talk about on theshow, so we wanna look at those too.
One of the other things we've beenworking on this year is being more
social and hosting guests at our home.
(11:26):
And when we do that, that means thatwe do have to do a certain level of
keeping the house clean and in order.
We have been incredibly social lately.
We have, we have, we haven't hostedpeople as much as we had hoped,
but you know, there's still time.
But we've been very social.
Yeah.
More social than we have been
(11:46):
in
since before the pandemic.
Yeah, I was gonna say in years.
Still mostly outside though.
And if we're indoors, we're masked.
Yep.
One of the other things I had on mylist is to level up this podcast.
I have, again, so manyideas, so little time.
I finally did gather the ideas all ina single place in the podcast notebook.
(12:11):
And, uh, one of my ideas that I'mthinking about, and I would love people's
feedback on this, like, let us know.
Are y'all into printables, like worksheetsor things that could be helpful for
you to have and customize for yourself?
Kind of outlines of things I'vewritten about in the newsletter or
(12:35):
maybe even talked about on the show.
Things like filling your cup.
That's something I'm thinking of andI'm hoping to work on my first idea
very soon, and I think I could sellprintables through a Patreon shop.
Like you can download the PDF for afew bucks and print at home or the
library if you don't have a printer.
Yeah, use the library.
I have been supposed to be more involvedon our Patreon, and while I have been
(13:05):
contributing to the weekly check-in,I have not been great on following up,
logging in and doing more interactions.
I think I just need to do that.
Yeah.
You know, the one thing that I, I'veheard of in, you know, like Atomic
Habits or whatever, is kind of thinkabout a thing you do at the same time.
(13:27):
Like maybe while I'm brushingmy teeth, that's a thing you do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, there's, I think there's acouple of things I could link it to.
I just have to start linking it.
Yeah, that's fair.
I desperately want to get back tolearning piano and ukulele, but again,
low on time, low on spell slots, andit's just not a reality right now.
(13:49):
You can want things all, all youwant, but you know, I am actually more
focused on the decluttering I think.
Yeah.
Is my priority, like that's,that's more pressing to me.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Kind of along those lineswas my exercise plan.
I had incredibly goodintentions earlier this year.
Many people did, yes.
(14:11):
Uhhuh.
Yeah, I did good for like a month.
Yeah.
And something happened.
Well, something happened.
I've been working.
You've been working a lot.
I work a lot and I exhaust myself.
And this does involve I'm, I'm alsogoing into the office like three
days a week right now, which reallycuts down on my work from home days,
(14:32):
which is when I typically had moretime to do things like exercise
because then I didn't have commute.
Yeah.
So that has just kind of fallen off.
You and I were talking though aboutmaybe finding other ways to do it
and really just finding a way tokind of radically shift something
in our week to make room for this.
Yeah.
And I think something that hashelped me with other things is
(14:55):
actually taking a class, right?
Yeah.
Being accountable, againwith the accountability.
Being accountable to another person,like actually paying for something.
Mm-hmm.
And we have some ideas, but honestlythings are a bit shaky at my job right
now as they are at a lot of universities.
So I'm waiting to get throughthe end of this fiscal year.
(15:15):
Yeah.
Before we make any other big plans.
That makes a lot of sense.
One of my goals was to read 15 physicalbooks, and this was one to read,
but two in service to decluttering.
Right?
The idea is read 15 physical books andthen I can get rid of some of those
books because I have read them and I canset them free, pass them on whatever.
(15:40):
And I've actually read eightphysical books so far this year.
Like I've read a lot of audio books.
I've read a lot of eBooks, but thereare eight physical copies, physical
versions that I have, and I think Imight only be keeping like two of them.
So...
All right.
Yeah.
Well done.
Thanks.
This next one is a bitof a success so far.
(16:02):
It is my ongoing fancymail project, M-A-I-L.
And some of the people out therewho may be listening to this podcast
may have been recipients of that.
Congratulations I guess.
I love you.
Thank you.
Um, but yeah, I've donepretty good about this.
I've included some pressedflowers, I've included pictures.
I have used fancy paper.
(16:24):
I don't know what you'redoing with your fingers there.
Uh, you used your typewriter.
I did use my typewriter.
That's what that motion was.
Yes.
I'm not doing like itsy bitsy spider.
I really wasn't surewhat was happening there.
I haven't, I have not yet done a waxseal to close the envelopes up, but I
(16:46):
think I've done everything else but that.
Oh, yeah.
I did get you a cool waxseal for December-ween.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Okay.
One of the things I've definitelyfallen off the wagon about
is no phone after 9:00 PM.
I was doing really great with that,like the first three months of the year.
Mm-hmm.
(17:06):
And then just out the window and Irealize it is something I do more
of when I'm even more stressed.
Yeah.
So I think.
I really wanna get back to that.
Like I am better for it when I'm notlooking at my phone after 9:00 PM.
Mm-hmm.
This next one was my desire to hangart, and while we did purchase frames as
(17:30):
mentioned in the March episode, the onlynotes I have here since then say, whoops,
because this has just not happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's still a, a would love to do andlike I said, I think we're really
focusing on going through some boxes.
Yeah.
Decluttering.
Going through boxes.
(17:50):
Yeah.
Trying to get some stuff out.
This year I had chosen threefocus words to work on, and
one of them was connection.
And I think we've been doinga really good job of that.
We've been both hanging out with ourusual friends, we've made new friends.
When we went to New York, I got toreconnect with friends I haven't seen
(18:11):
in years or even decades, and that wasreally, really good for connection.
Another one of my words was creation.
I feel pretty confident in myegg pasta dough, like making
the dough, kneading the dough.
Pretty good at rolling the dough outwith the machine and I've hand cut some.
(18:36):
We also have cut it with the machine.
I think the next step in my pastacreation is going to be making shapes.
[Gasp] Shapes.
Yeah.
Not yet filled pasta.
But like maybe like farfalleor something or, or like, or
like a little rolled situation.
(18:57):
But we successfully made jam and preservesthis year, which I'm really excited about.
Like I feel like I have a handle onat least canning fruit in that way.
And also looking forwardto making some zines.
And so I had connection creation and thatlast word I had chosen was reclamation.
(19:18):
There are a lot of things that Imiss about a person I used to be,
things I used to do that I loved thatI don't do anymore, but I wanna get
back to doing or do in some capacity.
And I think going to NewYork helped with that.
Yeah, it really, I could tell on the wayback, it un it like unlocked something.
(19:43):
So it's June and I, I'm curious, do youhave any, like any kind of new goals, like
mid-year goals that you're interested in?
Says here because you canstart new ones at any time.
I think June is an appropriate monthto start, like a new goal or something.
It's not like August orSeptember that feels totally off.
(20:03):
I wouldn't recommend it, but June,June feels like a good month to
like start something new, likemaybe plan a new goal or something.
Yeah.
I mean, summer solstice is in June,so if you need, if you need some
kind of arbitrary start to things.
No, just vibes.
Just vibes, you know, I think, I think I'mjust kind of solidifying the things I'm
(20:25):
gonna focus on more the rest of the year.
Which one is just the no phone after9:00 PM I just need to knock it off.
This is me not gentleparenting myself, by the way.
Um, and the other thing isin service to decluttering.
Like what can we do toget stuff out of here?
Stuff that needs to be sold or donatedor given away or, or what have you.
(20:51):
So I think those are maybe aside fromsome creative things and some podcast
stuff, like I said, maybe some writing,but mostly less phone or rather being more
deliberate about when I'm on my phone.
It might not even be less phone.
Mm-hmm.
Like no phone after nine, but if I'm on myphone, I want to have made that decision
(21:13):
and not mindlessly have picked it up.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
How about you?
Do you have, you know, have you zeroedin on more focus the second half of
the year or do you have any new goals?
I think there are a few like goals I setthat have, I feel like they've really kind
of solidified and I'm happy with them.
So I think the one thing I wannafocus more on, kind of also
(21:35):
in service to the declutteringis a, a full closet clean out.
We were talking about this and I realizedI think I have things in there that
I've had for like five years and havenever really worn out or like wore
it once and I can probably let it go.
Yeah.
I think you know what, going throughso much of my mom's stuff has kind
(21:55):
of unlocked that willingness orthat ease in letting things go.
I think I'm more amenable to lettingthings go, um, after having gone
through and seen all the things sheheld onto that were so unnecessary.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(22:15):
[Transition Music]
Now we wanna shift into some bookrecommendations for Pride, because
we don't want our first episode ofPride to just be like, ugh, here's
all the hard stuff we're doing,and maybe some fun stuff like
(22:36):
let's talk about some queer stuff.
And so we're gonna do what I dobest, some book recommendations.
And I've gotten Nicole todo it, uh, with me too.
So we're mostly focusing on nonfictionto hopefully give you some books
that can be a resource or you canlearn things from or use them as a
springboard for further learning.
(22:58):
We mentioned some books in the episodecalled A Starting Place to Learn About
Pride in the Queer Community, whichwas one of our June episodes last year.
And what I mostly mentionedwere the quick and easy guides.
Um, there's like The Quick and EasyGuide to Queer and Trans Identities,
the Quick and Easy Guide to Asexuality.
(23:19):
And they are still amazing.
I love them.
They're like little comic books.
And since that episode, they alsopublished A Quick and Easy Guide to Coming
Out by Kristin Russo and Ravi Teixeira.
We also have an episode, um, onsome help for folks coming out that
also I think, came out last June.
(23:39):
So should be set.
Is this our new segment,uh, EEDA Backlist?
[Chuckle]
I'm gonna kick us off with a bookI mentioned in the best books we
read in 2024, which is He/She/They: How We Talk About Gender and Why (23:51):
undefined
It Matters by Schuyler Bailar.
If you want to hear more aboutwhy I recommend that book.
Go back and listen to our BestBooks We Read in 2024 episode.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll link that one.
That's one that, uh, I definitelybought for a family member, like
(24:14):
an, like an older family memberwho is cisgender, straight, and
they found it actually informative.
Yeah.
So my first pick
[Laughing]
is, I Hope We Choose Love (24:26):
A Trans Girl's Notes from the End
of the World by Kai Cheng Thom.
This book is really for a queer audience,especially a queer adult audience.
Though maybe some older teensmight get some stuff out of it too.
There are so many ways that we inthe queer community can cannibalize
(24:49):
ourselves or repeat harms that weare critical of in other communities.
Or just repeat, you know, I'm gonna sayit like repeating heteronormativity, but
just, you know, maybe in the same gender,uh, relationships, or forsaking community
(25:09):
in service of, of that heteronormativity,even though folks may be queer.
And this book is not a long one, butit's a really, really important one.
I do think every queeradult should read this book.
I will, of course, we'll link theseboth in the show notes and then on our
bookshop page, we have a section thatis like books mentioned on the podcast.
(25:36):
So you'll be able to find them there.
I will read everythingKai Cheng Thom writes.
Absolutely.
I adore them.
I think they're soimportant to our community.
I could just gush, but instead I'm gonnapop over to a book that just came out.
This is Marsha (25:50):
The Joy and Defiance of Marsha P. Johnson by Tourmaline.
I have been telling people as I amraving about this book, this is the
definitive biography of Marsha P. Johnson.
Most people who have heard of her probablyknow the story that she threw the first
(26:11):
brick at Stonewall or something like that.
And that's typically the extentthat most people know about Marsha.
And Marsha was so much more, andshe was so beloved by the community
in New York City and beyond.
And this book really goes into the restof her life and how, how incredibly
(26:34):
important she was to everyone.
And how radiant she was.
Oh my gosh.
Just
brought joy to everyoneshe interacted with.
Absolutely.
Whether you wanted it or not,
she would bring it in avery New York fashion.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, you're reading thephysical book and there are pictures
Yes
in the physical book and I,I read it on audio book and
(26:57):
Tourmaline reads the audio book.
Uh, I think both are great experiences.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I definitely gotmisty-eyed during some of it.
Oh yeah, for sure.
I really just, anyone who wants to knowabout the history of our community,
this is so important because her lifeexpanded decades beyond Stonewall,
(27:18):
um, into the early years of the AIDScrisis, and she was involved throughout,
and of course, you'll get bits andpieces of those who interacted around
her, including Sylvia Rivera, who,if you don't know who that is, you
should also know who Sylvia Rivera was.
Another book is uh, Miss MajorSpeaks: Conversations with a
(27:41):
Black Trans Revolutionary byToshio Meronek and Miss Major.
And Miss Major is a transactivist who is blessedly still
with us, still doing the work.
You can donate to someof her projects still.
And she is out therestill fighting the fight.
Yeah, I think she's down in the south now.
(28:04):
I think so.
And I think she does a lot of work aroundhousing and stability for the community.
Yeah.
Um, and she is also a Stonewall veteran.
Absolutely.
And in this book, this book, Ilaughed out loud a number of times
because she pulled no punches.
Oh.
Uh, it's, ugh delicious.
(28:25):
Absolutely delicious.
As you hear me talking, or hear ustalking about various time points in
our community's history, and you may befinding yourself going, what is that?
I don't know what that is.
I don't know who that is.
Or if you have an interestjust more broadly in history.
I recommend the book, TransgenderHistory: The Roots of Today's
(28:48):
Revolution by Susan Stryker.
This book is now currently in itssecond edition, and that was published
in 2017, so it doesn't include anyof the history from the last, what
is that now, eight years or so.
Susan Stryker is the preeminent transhistorian, if there is one amongst us.
(29:09):
Every time I pick up this book andleaf through it, I find bits of
history that send me down rabbit holes.
I first listened to, or firstread this book, on audiobook.
And while you can do that, as I'm leafingthrough it more and more, I'm seeing its
structure also lends something to kindof understanding what it's talking about.
(29:32):
And there are pictures in it as well.
Even though it is, uh, currentlypaperback, so they're just
black and white pictures, butit does help with that as well.
I also have a history book recommendation.
Full disclosure, I have not read thisbook and I tend to stay away from
recommending books I haven't read yet.
(29:52):
Honestly, there have been booksthat I have read intending to
talk about on the other show I do.
And the last 10 pages, all of asudden it gets transphobic or it gets
misogynist or it gets ableist and I'mlike, I can't recommend this book now.
So that's why I'm often very hesitant torecommend books I haven't myself read.
(30:15):
So this one is on my TBR.
I have flipped through it.
It's called Rainbow History Class: Your Guide Through Queer and Trans (30:19):
undefined
History by Hannah McElhinney.
I think Hannah McElhinney started,uh, Rainbow History class maybe
on TikTok, and maybe she hascontent other in other places.
This book is, I don'tthink it's for children.
I think, children children, I thinkteens can get a lot out of it.
(30:43):
Teens, adults.
It is, I think currentlystill a hardcover.
Um, and there are a lot of illustrationsin it, and it goes through like a bunch
of different events and people and places.
And it's one of those, like, you can readit all the way through if you want to.
(31:05):
Or you can just like pick upand learn about a couple of
things every once in a while.
What's that?
You want more history books?
I've got you covered.
Hey, you know, knowing where we'vebeen can help direct where we're going.
And that's the exact reasonI've picked this next book.
(31:26):
Mm-hmm.
My next book is Let the Record Show: A Political History of Act Up New (31:27):
undefined
York, 1987 to 1993 by Sarah Schulman.
This is a big book.
Um, if you get the paper back like Ihave, eh, the print is a little smaller.
It is that big because itcovers so much material.
(31:48):
This book documents the activitiesof ACT UP New York during the
early years of the AIDS crisis.
And for those of you going,Nicole, what is ACT UP?
ACT UP was a political activistgroup whose mission statement says
that they are, quote, a diverse,non-partisan group of individuals
united in anger and committed todirect action to end the AIDS crisis.
(32:12):
Their actions are, if youcould say any group had like
legendary actions, it is ACT UP.
They are the ones who sponsoredlike the AIDS die-ins, or I guess
not necessarily sponsored, but did.
Yeah
like the AIDS die-insand things like that.
They used a real multi-prongedapproach of direct action, but also
(32:35):
in higher levels of working withgovernments and things like that.
Like they, they managed to get themselvesseated at the table for some things,
so they were incredibly successful.
And this book goes into detailas to what they did to be so
successful with their actions.
That is the reason I'm recommendingthis book because I think there
(32:58):
are a lot of lessons to be learned,especially this day and age when
we are once again in our communityfacing issues related to healthcare.
The author, Sarah Schulman, I thinkis a journalist, and she also recently
had a book come out called The Fantasyand Necessity of Solidarity, and I
actually learned about this becauseshe was on an episode of the podcast
(33:22):
How to Survive the End of the World.
I will link both that podcastepisode because it is great,
and also this book as well.
I haven't read it yet, but again,it is on my never ending TBR.
My last book recommendationfor today though is Juliette
Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera.
This is actually fiction.
Um, it's older fiction and I havethe graphic novel, but it's based
(33:46):
on a novel of the same name, andit is fiction you can learn from.
It is one of my favorite revisitsand it's just, it's a good one.
I think it's a classic, Icall it a queer classic.
[Transition Music]
(34:11):
Okay, Patricia, we kind ofdid a split episode here.
We did.
What do you want people to take awayfrom this other than going book shopping?
Well, aside from reading some books,remember that your goals serve you.
You don't serve them.
Huh.
(34:31):
Yeah, I know.
Nicole, what are, what's, uh, some ofthe takeaways you want people to take?
We're at about the halfway pointthrough the year, at least in
the standard calendar year.
Things change.
It's okay to reevaluate your goals,drop some goals, add some new ones.
You know, when it comes tothese things, the rules are made
(34:52):
up, the points don't matter.
Yeah.
Just have fun with it.
I know things are wild out there,what's been filling your cup?
[Exhale]
My plumeria, who is named Plantybecause I named things like Peewee
Herman our, and our couch is Couchy.
It is?
Uh, yeah.
(35:12):
Oh no.
You didn't know her name?
No.
Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry Couchy.
And, uh.
We have many plants, but thisone particular plant is Planty,
and she was the first plant Ihad, and she is a plumeria that
my mother brought from a grower.
She was just like alittle stick back in 2015.
(35:35):
She brought over from Maui andgave her to me, and I planted her.
We were living in Pasadena.
And we just kind of cared forher from 2015 on, and she bloomed
for us the first time in 2020.
And then she bloom, this is thesecond time she has bloomed.
(35:55):
Five years, like five yearslater, she's bloomed again.
The thing is, is that we were toldPlumeria don't bloom in Oakland
and especially not indoors.
We have her under a grow light.
She's in a pot indoors.
We were told they don't grow here.
Oh, they don't grow here either.
Yeah.
They don't grow here.
(36:16):
They don't bloom here.
And yet she's full of flowers.
You know, I have posted on my personalInstagram and also in, in a recent
newsletter, some pictures and no onetold Planty that she can't bloom me here.
And we have treated her as if she can.
Yeah.
And I think there's like abigger, you know, lesson here.
(36:39):
She is definitely a survivor too, becausea couple years ago she grew too tall for
herself and got heavy, top heavy and broke
Broke in half.
in half.
Yeah.
Well, in 2017 when we went to Chinawe had a friend watch her, and Planty
didn't like not being in our apartment,so she dropped all her leaves.
(37:02):
Yeah, so she's, she's been through it.
She's a survivor.
Nicole, what's filling your cup?
As I mentioned earlier, we werelistening to some records while we
were doing some boxes, but with that,I've also started just putting on
records occasionally in the evening.
And I don't listen to a lot of music,like I don't listen to the radio.
(37:24):
I typically don't have streaming servicesplaying while I work, I don't like music.
And so in doing this, I'm being reallyintentional about the music I'm listening
to, and that's just been really nice.
Yeah, I like it.
I'm always interested inlike what you pick out next.
I mean, yeah, there's some thatI would just keep spinning over
(37:47):
and over again, but we have a lotof records and I feel like some
Again, with the decluttering,we also have a lot of records to
go through that we inherited, so
Yes.
That too.
Yeah, we need to do a record party.
We keep talking about that.
Yeah.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com,and we'll leave a link to
(38:08):
that in our show notes.
You can find the full show notesand transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E-E-D-A-P-O-D dot com.
There you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link to
the ongoing, Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can find us also on BlueSky andInstagram and YouTube at eedapod
(38:33):
and email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
We are nothing if not consistent
except for how we do thisoutro sometimes I guess.
We?
Like you and the mouse in your pocket?
Uh huh.
We would also appreciate it so much ifyou would subscribe and rate us on Apple
Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you getyour podcasts that allow for ratings.
(38:55):
It really goes far in helpingother people find us because we
are a strong, independent podcast.
We are strong.... Weshould make some merch.
We would also appreciate anyone whocan subscribe to us on Patreon support
there is going to help us keep thisshow going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
(39:18):
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself,
drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
A mouse in my pocket?
You gonna let me havea mouse in my pocket?
Absolutely not.
Aww.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.