How Do I Live in Financial Peace and Keep Stress from Coming Back?

You’ve built a budget, you’re tracking your numbers, but some categories still leave you feeling out of control. In this episode, Ralph explores why setting personal spending rules might be the missing piece in your plan. Rather than feeling restrictive, these boundaries help reduce impulse spending and align your money with your values. If you’re tired of feeling out of control with your spending, it’s time to discover the freedom that comes from setting spending rules.

Read today's blog article

Check out the full podcast episode here

You’ll learn how to spot your financial pressure points, set clear rules for those tricky categories, and pray through each decision. Ralph shows how just one well-placed spending rule can offer more freedom, less stress, and a better handle on the habits that matter most.

Chapters:

• 00:11 - Gaining Control Over Spending
• 01:08 - Understanding Personal Spending Habits
• 04:54 - Creating Personal Spending Rules
• 07:05 - Creating Effective Spending Rules
• 09:12 - Embracing Personal Rules for Financial Freedom
• 10:15 - Introducing the Concept of Giving and Financial Stress Relief

Takeaways:

• Intentional boundaries are essential for financial health, guiding your spending towards your values.
• Identify one or two spending areas where you struggle and set simple rules for them.
• Writing down your spending rules and keeping them visible can help you stick to your budget.
• Praying for self-control and guidance can empower you to overcome financial stress and impulsive spending.

Links referenced:

financiallyconfidentchristian.com/master

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You've got a budget.
You're tracking your expenses, you knowwhere your money should go, but spending
for you still feels chaotic sometimes.
Like money slips rightthrough your fingers.
What if setting clear rules aroundspending isn't just restrictive?
Brings you more control and moreimportantly, brings you more peace.
I'm gonna show you how todo that on today's show.

(00:36):
Welcome back.
I'm Ralph, and it's great tobe with you here again as we
answer our one key question.
That is, how can I become afinancially confident Christian?
And today we continue our seriesdealing with the stress of money
worries, and we just got past a coupledays talking about home ownership.
And we've talked in this seriesabout budgeting and we've talked
about savings and we've talked abouttackling debt, managing credit.

(01:00):
And if you're followingalong, you're doing great.
You're, you're telling your moneyexactly where it needs to go.
Today we're gonna takeit even a step further.
Yes, there is a stepfurther that we can go.
And we're gonna focus on your spendinghabits that cause you stress, those
things that will cause you stressif you don't keep them in check.
And today I'm gonna talk aboutbuilding some personal spending rules.

(01:23):
These spending rules are gonna helpyou support your budget, and they're
gonna bring freedom within your plan.
So let's ask the pertinentquestion for today, and that is,
how can setting personal spendingrules give me more freedom?
And best of all, give me less stress.
See, here's the truth.
Even with a budget, if you're likeme and like most other people,

(01:46):
you're listening right now, you'relike, Ralph, yeah, that's great.
But some spending categories, Ralph,they just feel hard to manage.
I know for me, sometimes it's eaten out,dying out 'cause it becomes complicated.
Or maybe for you it's that impulsebuying or those entertainment expenses.
Hey, everybody deserves to get someentertainment and you've done a good
job of budgeting for all them, butyou still just happen to go over them

(02:11):
and you beat yourself up about it.
It leads to frustration.
You're frustrated like, I putthis number down Ralph, but I
just can't seem to stick to it.
And then you feel guilty about it.
You, you, you budgeted.
You put the numbers on the paper andyou've went over your budget and now
you feel frustrated, you feel guilty.
And what does all that dings do?
All those things just build more stressand honestly, you look at it, you feel

(02:33):
like your money is just vanishing awayin these areas and see when your money
vans away, it makes it harder to save it.
It's hard to save if you don'thave any excess or or margin.
I've talked about iton the show many times.
It's harder to pay off debt when you don'thave that margin, when you're not really
laser focusing on where your money goes.

(02:53):
And the big, big picture is it'shard to stay in financial control
if you're letting those budgetareas just slip away from you.
Because here's the thing,you've got to understand.
If you're not intentional with yourspending, that unintentional spending
just means that money just happens to you.

(03:14):
Hear me on that.
Money just happens to you, andwhen it just happens to you, It
usually means that it doesn't alignwith your values or your goals.
So you might be sitting there going,Ralph, how do I get past this?
Well, honestly, I think the bestway to do it is put together some
personal spending rules, because thenyou have what I'll call intentional
boundaries and those intentionalboundaries protect your priorities.

(03:39):
Just the other night I gave a talk tomy softball friends with the guys that
play on the softball team with me.
We were talking about the book ofGalatians, chapter five, verses 22 and
23, and I don't have time to cover itright now, but I want you to read it
because it talks about self-controlbeing a fruit of the spirit, and
that's really what I'm talking about.
These personal spending rulesare really intentional boundaries

(04:00):
that protect your priorities.
Look at the book of Proverbs,chapter four, verse 23.
It says this Above all else.
Above all else, guard your heart.
Everything you do flows from itabove all else, guard your heart for
everything you do, flows from it.

(04:21):
What does that mean?
That means that Your spendingflows from your heart.
You're spending flows from your habits.
And if you can create some guides tohelp guide that flow towards peace and
towards wise stewardship, it's kindalike an athlete training for victory.
We're training for victory.
Look at one Corinthianschapter nine, verse 25.

(04:42):
It calls us to be disciplinedfor a greater prize.
So now you're asking Ralph, what do we do?
Well, here's what you do.
My my humble opinion is this.
You gotta move from unintentional tointentional spending with one simple step.
I want you to just identify one or twospending areas where you lack control.

(05:04):
You're looking at those numbers, you'relike, Ralph, I've got the budget,
but man, every time I look at mybudget, I'm always way over on those.
I get it.
I've been there.
I, the same thing happens to me, and thisis what I do for a living, but this is
the place where you create those clearpersonal spending rules for those areas.
Now, here's the thing Iwant you to understand.
You're in complete control here.

(05:24):
These are boundaries that are made by you.
They're made for you, and they're simplytools that help you stick to your plan.
So here's your one action step for today.
This is a some practical stepsto help you get to that point.
The first step is toidentify those leaky areas.
You gotta look through your spending data.
Ask yourself these questions.

(05:45):
Where does money disappear?
You know, what are those areaswhere I'm always over budget?
You know, where do you overspendor do you act impulsively,
because that's part of it too.
If you're acting impulsively,that's when you gotta look at.
So once you've done that,choose one or two categories.
Maybe for you it's, it's diningout of that, online shopping, or
maybe just impulsive shopping.

(06:05):
So once you've identified oneor two of those, the second step
is to create just a simple rule.
Just one per category.
Make it easy to remember and makeit easy to apply, because if you
make it easy, you're gonna do it.
As an example, here's a great rule.
If you struggle with eating out,set a rule that, oh, I'm only
going to eat out once a week.
That doesn't mean allthree meals once a week.

(06:27):
That just means just once a week.
Now, maybe for you, it's thatimpulsive buying, and I've
talked repeatedly about this.
So for you, maybe you put in thatpause, that wait 24 hours or 48
hours even before you, before youbuy any online purchase, over $25.
Again, you set the number.
You set the rule becauseit's your rule to live by.
Or maybe for you, it's that coffee habit.

(06:49):
Now I'm gonna pick on coffee shopsagain, but maybe say, look, I'm
only gonna do that twice a week.
Maybe for you it's that grocerytrip and you say, look, here's
what I'm gonna do, Ralph.
Here's my rule for myself.
I'm only gonna buy what's on my list.
So you figured out those categories.
You came up with the rules.
The third step is the crucialstep, and that's write it down, put
it somewhere where it's visible.

(07:09):
Maybe you put it in your wallet.
I've seen people take a piece of paperand wrap it around their credit card.
So before they use the credit card, theygo and see, does this pass my rules?
Maybe you put it as a phone screen ormaybe use a budgeting app, or maybe it's
the online shopping, it's bothering you.
See, take some sticky notes andstick 'em right to the front of
your computer or onto your laptop.
I just wanna remind you of one more thing.

(07:30):
You're not alone on this journey.
So the last stage, step four ofthis is to pray for strength.
We have a loving God that wants tohelp us, so ask God for self-control.
Lord, just help me getpast these obstacles.
Help me adhere to theserules that I've created.
It's a great time to ask Lord for clarity.

(07:50):
Lord, show me how I can do this better.
How can I make better decisions?
Then finally, ask the Lord tohelp you with that commitment
to follow your rules this week.
And now you're probably asking Rob, okay,that sounds good, but how does this work?
Why does it work?
Well, here's why it works,because it creates boundaries that
replace those vague intentions.
Again, it creates intentionality.

(08:12):
If you don't have intentionality,things are gonna go haywire.
But if you have intentionality.
It's going to help because it helpsyou say no to those impulse buys.
pre-deciding.
Was this in my rule book?
And all of that leads to reduced stressand supporting the progress that you're
making to reinforce your budget andreinforce your values and your goals.

(08:34):
Let's pray about this together.
Father God, we just thank youfor giving us the fruit of the
spirit, including self-control.
And Lord, we confess that we oftenstruggle with impulse spending
or any of the other thingsthat we've talked about today.
And Lord, we ask that you would grantus wisdom to identify our weak spots.
Help us create clear and simple rules thatreflect our values, Lord, and strengthen

(08:56):
us, because we're gonna need it.
Lord, strengthen us to stick to theserules that we've created and guide our
habits to bring peace and to reflectyour wisdom, Lord, your perfect wisdom.
And we ask this with confidence.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
So my big takeaway today, my friend,is to embrace personal rules, not as a

(09:17):
restriction, but as a tool for freedom.
These really are tools for freedom becausethey can give you control over your money.
They can help you align yourspending with your values.
And I'm gonna encourage youtoday, start with just one rule.
You don't have to havethis big, long rule book.
Look at those big, pressure pointsfor you and just implement one rule.

(09:38):
Because listen, you're making realprogress and taking one step at a time.
That's how confidence is built.
And I'm just gonna encourage you,if today's show helped you, do me a
huge favor and share it with otherpeople, share it with someone else
who needs to hear this message.
You can also visit financially confidentchristian.com for more resources

(09:59):
And again, for the first a hundredlisteners that go to financially
confident christian.com/master, I'mgonna give you a free copy of my book.
You can also tell your friends about it.
It's called Mastering Your Finances.
It's a short read, but itwill be impactful to you.
Now, tomorrow we're gonna talk aboutsomething that is contradictory.
Ready for this one?

(10:20):
It's this question, how cangiving actually reduce my money?
Stress?
Yes, I'm gonna share some beautifulthings tomorrow on the show.
You don't wanna miss it, so Ijust wanna encourage you now.
Stay strong, let's goout there and be let.
Financially confidentChristians, I believe in you.

(10:40):
Believe in yourself.
God bless you, and youhave a great day today.