When the Numbers Hurt: Can Faith Truly Heal Our Financial Fears?

Episode Transcript
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Ralph (00:00):
Are you silently battling the crushing weight of financial fear?
Do the numbers in your bank accountfeel like they're judging you
rather than just informing you?
Well, if that's the case, you are notalone and today's financially confident
Christian, my friend Craig and I are goingto go into great questions you've shared
and we're gonna ask the tough question.
When the numbers hurt, can faithtruly heal our financial fears?

(00:23):
So stick around because if you've everfelt shame or panic or discouragement
about your money, this episode is for you.
And before we jump into today's show, I'mthrilled to share a quick preview of my
brand new weekly show, grit and GrowthBusiness, which officially launched today.
It didn't start your businessto get rich overnight.

(00:43):
You didn't expect it to be easy.
But you also probably didn'texpect it to feel this hard either.
The long hours, the late nights,staring at the numbers, the pressure
to keep it all together while wonderingif you're doing something wrong.
Yeah, I've been there too.
I'm Ralph Estep Jr. And after 30 years ofrunning businesses, coaching entrepreneurs
and walking through fire with clients,I can tell you this, most of the people

(01:07):
you admire didn't skip the hard parts.
They survived them, they grew them,and that's what this show is all about.
Welcome to Grit and Growth Business,a podcast for small business
owners who build it from scratch.
No trust funds here, no startuphype, just you, your vision and the
daily grind of keeping it alive.
Every week we get real.

(01:27):
We'll break down the stuffthat no one talks about.
How to pay yourself, how to priceyour work with confidence, how to
grow without burning out, and howto build a business that actually
supports your life, not just drain it.
This isn't about chasing hacksor hype, it's about building on
purpose with strategy with grit.
With a little help from someonewho's done it the hard way.

(01:50):
So if you're a small business owner who'stired of pretending everything's fine.
If you're craving honest insightfrom someone who's been there where
you are, then this show is for you.
Visit grit and growthbusiness.com to learn more.
Get free resources and sign up for ournewsletter if you're ready to go deeper.
This is grit and growth businessstrategies that grow businesses,

(02:11):
and we're just getting started.
Hey there and welcome back toFinancially Confident Christian.
I'm Ralph and it's great to bewith you for a special episode.

(02:33):
This is the show that helps you answerthat question, how can I become a
financially confident Christian?
Over the past few days, we'vekicked off our new series dealing
with the Stress of Money Worries.
I. We covered some foundational, maybeeven challenging topics designed to help
you take those crucial first steps towardsthat financial piece rooted in your faith.
And today we're gonna discuss somepowerful questions sent in by you,

(02:56):
listeners just like you, questions thatreally illustrate the difficult struggles
we've been talking about this past week.
Well, welcome Craig.
How are you doing today, my friend?

Craig (03:05):
Doing all right.
Can you tell It's summertime.
I'm in a T-shirt, I don't getpaid in the summer, but I don't,
it's nice to have the schedule,

Ralph (03:11):
So Craig, I'm, I'm eager as we go through these to get
your insights on these as we go.
So question one, letme jump right to that.
And this one comes to us fromPaige and it cuts right to the
core of where many of us start.
And this is what Paige wrote.
She said, Ralph, thank you for talkingabout financial shame in your episode.
Am I the only one losing sleep over money?

(03:31):
She said, I feel so much shame aboutmy debt, my past money mistakes.
It makes it really hard to talk toanyone about it, even my spouse.
How do I actually push past thatshame and take the step to talk?
Well, Paige, I wanna thank youfor your raw honesty there.
This isn't just a question,it's really a cry for help that
resonates with so many of us.

(03:54):
That shame you feel is exactlythe struggle we talked about
in that initial episode.
It's really a heavy burdenand it thrives in isolation.
It whispers lies thatyou're alone and unworthy.
But I wanna start by telling you thispage, but remember the biblical principle
from Galatians chapter two verse, orexcuse me, chapter six, verse two.
I have a little dyslexia there, Craig.

(04:15):
Um, and it says this.
It says, carry each other'sburdens, and in this way, you
will fulfill the law of Christ.
And I love this verse because itsays, God designed us for community
to support one another, especiallywhen we're having difficulties.
And see, shame tries to tell you that yourstruggles are unique and embarrassing.
But here's the truth, andthis is anchored in faith.
There's a whole point of this show isthat you are loved and valued by God

(04:37):
regardless of your financial situation.
And just remember this page, yourworth is not tied to your net worth.
There are other believers who havefaced similar challenges and truly
can offer grace, wisdom, and support.
So, Craig, what are your thoughtson Paige's question here today?

Craig (04:54):
Well, I think you raised some good, uh, points for her, but I, I always
find shame to be a fairly pointlessemotion unless it leads to action.
It's, it's kind of like guilt,you know, it's past focused
and we can't change the past.
So if you're feeling some shame,try to turn that into, um, some

(05:18):
sort of action that you can taketo make the situation better.
And I think you can actually transformthat shame into, into a form of pride.
So it's, you know, if you justfeel shame it, it doesn't do
anything but weigh on you.
But if you can turn that shameinto positive action, then
at least it has some benefit.

Ralph (05:37):
I agree with you a hundred percent, Craig.
I think so many people get mired down inthat, in that whole shame loop, and, and
it just, it keeps you stuck where you are.
And I, I thought about some otherthings, Paige, that I thought would
be useful things to talk about.
One of the things that I think youneed to start with is acknowledge
and confess, you know, what you'vedone in the past, because I think
that's, that's the foundation.

(05:57):
If you, if you come to a point whereyou say, look, yes, I made mistakes.
Listen Craig, I speak for me, butI've made financial mistakes and
this is what I do for a living.
So Paige and other people who arewatching or listening right now,
start by acknowledging that, youknow, as a Christian, as a Christian
finance show, acknowledge that to God.
Say, God, listen, I,I'm not perfect at this.
God's not asking you for perfection.

(06:19):
That's the first thing you know.
I think as human beings, we get stuckon this expectation that because God
is perfect, we've gotta be perfect too.
But guess what, here,here's a little truth bomb.
We're never gonna be perfect.
So I think if you start off withthat foundation and, and one of the
things I talked about in the show,Craig, is that, and, and I think it,
it helps to identify one safe person,one safe person that you can go to.

(06:42):
I call that your sanctuary.
And listen, that might not be yourspouse and that's okay, but go find one
safe person because to try to bear thisall on your own, it is really not easy.
Craig, did you have some thoughts?
It looked like you had a thought there.

Craig (06:55):
Yeah.
It isn't easy to bear that alone.
Um.
But I, I wanna go take a,maybe a half a step back.
Sure.
Sometimes your financial situation is, isa result of things you've done or didn't
do, but sometimes it's just bad luck.
And so, you know, I know sometimespeople feel shame about circumstances

(07:16):
that are beyond their control, sothat, that also seems like it's,
it's pretty counterproductive to me.
So just because you're not ina strong financial situation.
That just may be the waythe dice rolled for you.
So don't, don't feel likeit's always your fault.
Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't.

Ralph (07:35):
Yeah, I, I agree with you and, and you know, and like I said, I go
find that safe person to talk about.
So, you know, and you could say tosomebody, something like, Hey, I've
been really stressed about financesand I need to talk to someone about it
because like you said, Craig, it, itmight have been nothing that you did.
Like, you're just the unlucky winnerof the, of the lottery of bad fortune.
You know, it's funny, I I have oneclient, he always says, well, Ralph, you

(07:56):
know, if something's gonna happen, it'salways the black cloud over my business.
And here's the truth, becauselike, there have been times in, in
time again when he's done nothing.
It's just, it just happened.
Like, you know, it just, he, he would havean accident or somebody would get hurt
and, you know, but, but, but you know,I think what we're alluding to is, is,
is break that silence, take a brave stepbecause you don't need a grand solution.

(08:17):
You know, sometimes you just needsomeone else to listen and, and, and
just reaffirm your identity in Christ.
So keep reminding yourself this.
Your identity is in crisis,not in your credit score.
It's not in how much is in your bankaccount and your value is secure with him.
You're not gonna lose that.
You know, it's, that's independentof your financial standing.
And here's the thing, I think shameaims to redefine you by your mistakes.

(08:41):
And I think that's the problem,is that's exactly what shame does.
But faith, if we're, if we'restrong in our faith, it reminds
you that that what God says youare, who you, who he says you are.
So, so again, Craig, or excuseme, Paige, I just wanna thank you
for that question because it takesimmense courage to even ask it.
But I think that asking that questionis the first step to really break

(09:01):
in that breaking that shame andgetting to a point of healing.
Well, let's move on to our secondquestion, and this one comes to us from
Courtney, and Courtney writes this, andit speaks to a fundamental fear that
many of us have and that that's thefear of truly looking at our situation.
This is what Courtney said.
She says, I listened to, how canI look at my bank account without

(09:21):
panicking, and how do I get a clearpicture of my money situation?
She said, Ralph, I tried to look atmy bank account, but I just froze up.
The fear is overwhelming.
How do I get past this panicto actually do that snapshot?
Well, Courtney, I hear you loud andclear because I've been there too.
I can remember times when that, and thisis before I, I wanna really date myself.

(09:43):
Now, Craig, this is before youcould log into your bank account.
And I remember the fear of getting thatmonthly statement, you know, or, or
I, was I gonna get that call from thebank that my account was overdrawn?
Because they would give you acall and say, Hey, guess what?
Uh, we gotta check here that wecan't, uh, we can't cover right now.
And, and that fear is realand it's a major hurdle.
And, and that's a, that's the, uh,that's really the struggle that I

(10:04):
addressed in that show that I did.
How can I look at my bankaccount without panicking?
Honestly, it's the fear of the unknown.
It's the fear of what the numbersmight confirm, or it's that
same feeling of being condemned.
But I want you to rememberthis, Courtney from two Timothy
of chapter one, verse seven.
It says, for for God did not give usa spirit of timidity, but a spirit of

(10:26):
power, of love and of self-discipline.
And see, here's the thing,Courtney, you've got access
to God's power to face this.
This isn't just about willpower, it'sabout spiritual warfare against anxiety.
Craig, what are your thoughtson Courtney's situation here?

Craig (10:42):
I'm gonna sound very cranky.
Old Manish.
Here we go.
But my, my, my first thoughtwas, it didn't take long.
What are we, eight minutes in?

Ralph (10:50):
Eight minutes in?
Not bad, not bad.
He, he's the, it's, it'sthe Craig Curmudgeon moment.
No, I'm just being funny.
There we go.
There we go.
So my first

Craig (10:58):
thought was cowgirl up.
Yeah.
You know, I, I mean, really buryingyour head in the sand doesn't
do any good, you know, fate.
So I'll tell you a quick story.
Um, have you ever seen the agil, theagility, uh, trials that dogs do?
Oh, sure.
Absolutely.
Sure.
Our, our little border collie, Maggietook agility lessons and she was a

(11:19):
natural, she was awesome at everything.
But the evil teeter totter,oh, that teeter to itch.
Every time.
Every time, every time.
And so she'd be running towardsthe teeter totter and she'd
kind of stop and get hesitant.
And I'd, I'd look down at her andI'd say, face your fears, Maggie.
Face your fears.

(11:39):
And so that became ameme in our little class.
But, but I think you have to do that.
Face your fears, because what you findout when you face your fears, often those
fears are just built up in your own head.
They're not real danger.
You know, she was not gonnaget hurt on the teeter totter.
I mean, it's still evil, butshe wasn't gonna get hurt on it.
And looking at your finances, yeah, it'sunpleasant, but rip the bandaid off.

(12:04):
Face your fears and you'll find outthat, oh, okay, this isn't that bad.
Or you, you at least have taken thefirst step at doing something about it.
Now my less cra I have a less crankyanswer too, if you wanna hear that here.

Ralph (12:19):
Thi this is a, a double answer.
I like it.

Craig (12:21):
This is a double answer.
So one of the things that, um,can be really helpful is to try
to take what we could call adisinterested third party view.
So don't make it your bank account.
Pretend, and this is a mental trick.
Pretend like it's somebody else'sspending log or bank account, or,

(12:43):
you know, stack of bills or whatever,and, and take that higher level
view where you, it's not about you.
This is other person that's in thissituation and, and I think it's a
little mental trick, but it can be veryuseful to just step back and a bit.

Ralph (13:01):
Yeah, that's the benefit I have in my accounting practice.
I get to do that on a daily basis, Craig,because in a lot of ways, when I'm looking
at people's finances, it's not mine.
So I have that thirdparty, you know, ability.
Now the other thing I was gonna bringup though is I remember when I, I took
the Dale Carnegie courses and one ofthe things that they, stride the narrow
was, you know, here's what we do.
We assume the worst possible outcome.
Right?
Just, just make that assumption.

(13:22):
And, and I, and I think, Courtney,that's what I'm gonna tell you here.
I think this is a good way to handle thistoo, Craig, and I hope you agree with me,
is assume the worst possible scenario.
And then work the darnedestto improve upon that.
But you just have to face thatfear, like you know, what's the
worst possible scenario that youlog into your bank account and
it's a zero or it's a negative?
Okay, fine.

(13:42):
It is what it is.
What do you do to change that?
Now let's talk about howyou can change that, right?
And, and one of the things Ithink you can do is you don't
have to do everything at once.
You know, start mi uh, what, what I callmicroscopically small, just one number.
Just say, I'm gonna face the fear of this.
I'm gonna look at, youknow, what's going on.
And I, the other thing I'm gonnatell you is, you know, we talk
about Christian faith on here.
Put on your armor, your spiritual armor.

(14:04):
You know, pray for couragebefore you look if it takes that.
And listen, this isn't a quickfix, but it's inviting God
into your moments of weakness.
You know, breathe.
Look and take, you know, thank Godand say, you know, this is a cycle.
I can get past this.
And you've gotta just gogradually, you know, brick by
brick to build that confidence.
Like your dog, you know, your dog'snot gonna jump onto that teeter totter.

(14:24):
The first time that you look downand, and you're the dog whisper and
say the teeter totter is not bad.
Are, are are German Shepherd.
She freaks out when she seesa box come into the house.
So anytime Amazon arrives,her name is Piper.
And she just sees this boxcome in and she freezes.
But so listen to this one, Craig.
So I walk her on the farm most morningsand we're out for a morning walk today.

(14:46):
And we've got a, a bunch of, um, deerhere on the farm, you know, big deer.
And they're, they're what theycall swamp deer or marsh deer.
So a little bit bigger and darker.
Well, every time she sees one.
Man, she goes tearing off at em, right?
And I'm thinking, well, ifI could just retrain her.
So this, lemme finish my story.
So this morning, and we'vegot gate, we got fences around
the whole property, right?
Because what happens is thismarsh, I dunno if you guys

(15:06):
have ever been around marsh.
It is the nastiest, likeblack, like tar water.
Well, she doesn't understand that.
She just jumps right in.
So this morning I'm out there walking her,we get, we get to a turn and she sees a
couple of deer on the other side of thefence and I'm thinking, oh, here we go.
So I continue my walk,I'm doing my everything.
Get to the, she's gone.
I'm like, where is this dog?

(15:26):
Well, she had hopped the fence, clearthe fence, she's standing there, covered
from head to foot in black stuff.
And I said, now I'mgonna put you in a box.
I'm just being funny.
You see no fear when it comes to thedeer jumping the fence, jumping into
the marsh, and we don't have alligatorsup here in Delaware, but no fear.
But man, if you bring a box in thehouse from Amazon, she loses it.

(15:49):
So you just have to face,you know, I'm sorry.
Go ahead, Craig.

Craig (15:53):
No, well I was gonna say there, there's actually
a really cool lesson there,

Ralph (15:56):
right?

Craig (15:56):
So the thing that might hurt her, you know, she goes after a big buck.
You know, they couldturn and do some damage.
Oh, absolutely.
The, the box isn't gonna hurt her.
So she fears what she shouldn't fear.
Right.
And so, and, and we're all like that.
We've all got their, our thing thatjust kind of freaks us out a little bit.
Um, but don't, you know, you, you justhave to sometimes just face your fear.

Ralph (16:21):
Yeah.
And I think it'll, and I think theother side of that is focus on facts.
Because so many timeswe focus on feelings.
Oh, I feel this way.
I mean, feelings are great.
You know, you can feel whatever you wantto feel, but there are facts about things.
You know?
The fact is, here's a simple example.
If your account is overdrawn,it didn't magically happen.
You know, it just like if I getto the end of the day and my

(16:43):
blood sugar's high, guess why?
Well, because one or two reasons.
Either I ate two me sweetsor I didn't exercise enough.
Right?
Well, your bank account'sno different than that.
Either you took more out than you put in.
It's not a, but focus on thefacts because you can get stuck
in that quagmire of feelings.
It's, it's really easy to do that.
So, Courtney, I just wannathank you for sending that in.

(17:04):
Your courage in sharing.
This is really ex it reallyinspiring to all of us.
Well, let's move on and,

Craig (17:10):
sorry if I got cranky.
No, you didn't get, crank

Ralph (17:12):
it all.
It, it's, it's the summer inLouisiana that you're feeling I think

Craig (17:16):
Craig.
There you go.
There you go.
That's.

Ralph (17:18):
Well, let's move on to our next question.
This one comes to us from Jessicaand Jessica Hits a common frustration
once people get past that initialfear and look at their numbers.
So this is Jessica.
She's gotten past that fear Craig,and now she's actually looking at her
numbers and she said, Ralph, I made asnapshot and now I'm trying to create
a budget like you talked about inCan a budget really reduce my stress?

(17:40):
But it feels so confusing.
Where do I even start puttingnumbers into categories and
what if it doesn't look right?
That's a great question, Jessica.
You're asking the exact question thatcan stop people dead in their tracks
once they decide to budget becausethey hear the word budget and they're
like, oh, I'm not good with the money.
That, and you know, it's funny,I recorded a short the other day
and it's funny 'cause I said, youknow, a lot of people say that to

(18:02):
me, Ralph, I'm not good with money.
Okay, well, if you aren't good atsomething, you have two choices.
Either you can continue to not be goodat it, or you can try to figure out
a way to improve your skills, right?
And it can be incrediblyconfusing initially, I get it.
It's like learning a new languageor building a complex puzzle with
no instructions, and that feeling ofoverwhelmed by the process and the

(18:22):
fear you'll do it wrong is common.
But remember, budgeting is simple.
It's simply telling your money.
You go here, you go there.
It's an act of intentional stewardship.
So I want to tie the Bible into this,Craig, because I found this verse in the
book of Proverbs, chapter 16 verse nine.
It reminds us this in their hearts,humans plan their course, but the Lord

(18:44):
establishes their steps and see, yourbudget is your plan, but you still have
to trust God to help you guide yoursteps as you work that plan and remember.
Budget isn't some rigid control.
I think I used it onthe, on the show before.
It's not like Moses coming down withthe 10 Commandments on stone tablets.
It's about trying to bring order intoyour, into what may feel like chaos

(19:07):
and start to tell your resourceswhere they, where they need to go.
Craig, what are your thoughts on this one?

Craig (19:13):
Well, my first thought was a lot of people don't pay much attention
to the 10 Commandments either, so.

Ralph (19:18):
Well, that's fair.

Craig (19:18):
Yeah.
So I I, I'm, I'm gonnaturn Professory on you now.

Ralph (19:22):
Let's do it.
Thanks.
Since I've

Craig (19:23):
been Craig, now I'm gonna do Professor Craig.
I

Ralph (19:26):
like

Craig (19:26):
it.
So, so plans in general can helpreduce uncertainty, and uncertainty
is often a cause of anxiety.
There's a direct relationship betweenhaving a plan and reducing anxiety,
and then there's a pretty wellestablished psychological theory
called self-determination theory.
This goes way back, it's reallywell established, and it says

(19:49):
that our wellbeing is largelymade up of three things, autonomy,
competence, and relatedness.
So do we have freedom?
Do we feel like we, we have theability to do what we need to be doing?
Competence, and then arewe connected to others?
Well, having a budgetticks two of those boxes.
If you can establish a budget, it'sactually an exercise of autonomy.

(20:13):
I'm deciding where this dollargoes to work and I'm deciding
where this dollar goes to work.
And it also gives you some, you'rebuilding towards even greater freedom
as you get your financial house inorder, but it also gives you a sense of
control, which increases your competence.
So you, you mentioned, you know, I, well,what I don't, I don't know all this stuff.
If you're not good atsomething, learn well.

(20:35):
If you're not good at somethingand you start doing something about
it that's gonna bump up your comp,competence feelings, and, and you're
gonna be better off, you're gonnafeel better about yourself in general.
And so that idea of taking control,that exercise of autonomy and then
that increased feeling of competence isjust gonna pay huge dividends for your

(20:55):
wellbeing beyond the financial dividends.

Ralph (20:59):
Yeah.
And while you're talking about yourprofessor hat, I mean, you see this with
your students all the time, I'm sure.
Right?
You come in, a new student comes in, theydon't have any concept of what you're
gonna be teaching them, right, Craig?
And they've gotta, they've gottaaccept the fact that, now, correct
me if I'm wrong, but you generallywork with, uh, doctoral students and,
and higher level students, correct.
Often,

Craig (21:19):
right?

Ralph (21:19):
Yeah.
So, but, but even that, that level, right?
They still don't have allthe competency to do it.
But what you're basically saying, andI concur with you a hundred percent, is
that each little piece that they add toit helps to build that momentum and then
it, it, it kind of reinforces itself andwe can apply that same thing to a budget.
Start with a simple snapshot.
Here's what's coming in the door.

(21:40):
Here's what's going out.
You don't have to have a degreein rocket science to figure
out what that looks like.
What is your paycheck?
How much is your direct deposit?
Guess what?
You just started a budget.
Here's your income.
Here's what comes in the door.
Then go get your bank account.
Go get your credit card andlist out what goes out the door.
Again, this isn't complicated, butsee, I don't think that's really

(22:03):
what's going on here, Craig.
I don't think it's the fearof being able to do it.
I think you alluded to the biggerfear, and that is restriction and,
and we've kind of talked about this,so how do you get past that feeling?
Because I think a lot of people makeexcuses, well, I'm never gonna budget
because I don't know how to do it.
It's complicated.
I'm not an accountant, I'mnever been good with numbers.
But really what we're saying is theydon't wanna live under restriction,

(22:27):
which, here's the problem with that.
The fact that they're not living underrestriction is causing them stress,
it's causing them heartache, it'scausing them all kinds of physical, all
kinds of emotional and mental issues.
So, Craig, how do we get past that point?

Craig (22:41):
I, I think I would recast restriction as discipline.
I like that.
So restriction is, you cannot do this.
Discipline is, I'm choosing.
To do this or not do this.
I, I'm using my exercise and self-controlto take actions that, that are gonna
make things better for me and my family.

Ralph (23:04):
Right.

Craig (23:04):
And so I think, I think if we take away that idea of restrictions
and say, this is self-discipline.
I mean, I, I know you, you, we'vetalked about weight loss a lot on here.
Mm-hmm.
But, but that's kind ofhow it is with weight loss.

Ralph (23:16):
Right.

Craig (23:16):
You know, I, I'm on a restrictive diet.
No, you're on a disciplined diet.

Ralph (23:20):
Right.

Craig (23:21):
And, and that means it's coming.
There's a big, big thing here.
Big piece of this discipline comes fromwithin that kind of self-discipline.
It's right there in the name.
Self-discipline.
It comes from within.
Restrictions come from outside.
And so I think that's anotherstep in this idea of autonomy and
taking control as I'm choosing.

(23:42):
To be disciplined in these matters.
I, I think that reframingmakes a huge difference.

Ralph (23:47):
Yeah, I agree with you and, and one of the things I noted here to, to
talk about with this question was, youknow, prioritize the non-negotiables.
You know, there are things thatyou have to put in your budget, you
gotta pay for, listen, if you wannahave a place to live, if you wanna
have a, a, a roof over your head.
You know, these are the pillarsof your financial house.
Now, you can still allocatesome discretionary spending
because you've gotta do that.

(24:08):
If you think you're gonnalive under this rigid set.
Now, you may need to do it for awhile, but at some point you've gotta
open the doors and say, look, I needto have some discretionary spending.
I think, what's the old adage?
Uh, no, no fun makes JAI rememberthe whole thing, but you know,
it makes somebody boring.
I can't remember the term.
I lost my mind.
All, all,

Craig (24:25):
all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Ralph (24:28):
Exactly, exactly.
So one of the cool things youmentioned there, and I like
that it's it's discipline.
The discipline allows, and that's thething that people don't get is like start
with a little discipline at the frontend and you open the door up to this
huge amount of, you know, uh, abilityto allocate discretionary spending.
See if you start to control whatyou can control and you start to

(24:49):
live under that discipline, thenyou're gonna open up the door to more
discretionary spending, which is gonnagive you more ability down the road.
It's just true.

Craig (24:58):
Well, and there's a huge additional benefit here.
So Aristotle teaches that weare what we repeatedly do.
And if you can start to build disciplinein one area of your life, in this case
financial, then you're gonna be moredisciplined in other areas of your life.
And then eventually you will be thekind of person who just is disciplined.

(25:20):
And all discipline is, is theability to control your actions.
That's all it is.
And so you're gonna be a person thathas control over what you do and.
But it's not just financial.
It's, and you'll find out, oh, okay,I can do this in, in this area of
my life, and then I can do it inthis area of my life, and then I
can do it in this other area of my

Ralph (25:41):
life,

Craig (25:41):
and your life will just be much richer.

Ralph (25:44):
I agree with you and, and one of the other things that, one of the
things that I, I can encourage youto do is do what I call zero based
budgeting, which basically meansthat every single dollar has a job.
You know, if you think about itat news terms, the job for this
dollar is to pay my mortgage.
The job for this dollaris to pay our insurance.
The job for this dollar, you get the idea.
And remember, uh, one of the thingsI like what you said is it's, it's

(26:05):
intentionality, it's not deprivation.
And again, I wanna go back tosomething I said at the beginning.
It's a practice.
It's not perfection.
You're gonna go throughiterations of this.
You know, this is, I rememberI had a class in, in, um, I'll
tell you a funny story, Craig.
I had this class in, in my undergraduatework at University of Delaware.
I did accounting work and I had this classI had to take called finite Math, right?

(26:29):
And this class was the most, I I, Idon't know how I ever got through it
because honestly, I. The best, thebest way I can explain this, the,
this guy was like the mad professor.
He would sit up and he had like 15 ofthese boards that would go up and down
and he would do these tableaus, right?
And he would go on thislike 30 minute tableau.
He would get to the end and he'd sit downand go, ah, I messed that one up again.

(26:52):
And, and, and so like, so I'm sayinghere, here's the professor, right?
Here's the, I don't know what theright term is, the tenured professor.
He made mistakes right in front of his400, there'd be 400 people in this class.
Most of us were half asleep.
I'll never forget Craig, funny littleaside, first day of class, he says, here's
the thing you all need to understand.
He says, no one will pass any of my tests.

(27:14):
And I'm thinking, wow.
Like that is a gutsy thing.
He says, but with the curve,some of you will get an A. And
I was like, well, okay, great.
So I take the first exam,Craig, I think I got like a 40.
And I'm like, and I'm one of theseoverachievers and like it said something
like 40 equals, and B, I'm like.
Cool.
I gotta be at a 40.
And I'm thinking, boy, I, Ibeat the curve on that one.

(27:36):
But my whole point of that was,here's a guy that understands it,
but he was practicing, he was goingthrough these tableaus and, and
maybe he made a mistake somewhere.
I honestly, I passed the class,but I still couldn't tell you
what finite math was all about.
Man, it was a mess.
But then you gotta understand,getting back to the question,
your budget is a draft.
It's not a decree.

(27:56):
And you have to understand thatit's a draft, it's a starting point.
It's practice.
So, Craig, any other thoughts beforewe move on to our next question?

Craig (28:05):
No, just, just, you know, stick with it.
It'll get easier soJessica, it'll get easier.

Ralph (28:11):
Yeah, I agree.
Jessica, thank you for sharing.
Your question reminds us that evenwith good intentions, and I, and I
think Jessica has good intentions here.
The practical steps can be daunting.
Well, let's move on to our fourthquestion, and this one comes to us from
David and it brings us a crucial pointabout sustainability in his journey.
And he says this, he says, I startedtracking my spending, like you said,
in why should I track my spending?

(28:32):
Isn't it depressing?
I thought that was a good namefor a show, and then I reviewed
it and my spending data is ready.
Now what do I do?
See, I tied 'em together,Craig, and he said, honestly.
Seeing how much I spent on things I didn'teven realize was pretty discouraging.
Now I just feel bad about my spending.
How do I keep tracking and reviewingwithout feeling so discouraged or guilty?

(28:53):
And David, here's the thing, you're doingthe right things because that feeling is
exactly the struggle that we anticipatedwhen we talked about doing that tracking.
That's the whole point for doing it.
It can feel incredibly discouraging whenthe data reveals habits you didn't realize
you had, but that's why we're doing it.
Or maybe when you compare youractual spending to your budget, maybe

(29:14):
you took that step and you did thebudget, and then you see this big gap.
You know, it's kinda likehoarding a mirror and seeing
something you weren't ready for.
I see that every timeI look in the mirror.
But remember, tracking and reviewingaren't about judgment or shame.
They're about being aware.
They're about awareness.
Those tools that I talked aboutare for insight and understanding.

(29:35):
So we talked about in myspending, data is ready.
What do I do with it?
Think of it as gathering intelligencefor good stewardship, and I brought
this biblical reference in here.
It comes from the book of Luke,chapter 16, verse 10 Reminds us this,
whoever can be trusted with verylittle can also be trusted with much.
Whoever's dishonest with very littlewill also be dishonest with much.

(29:55):
And see, tracking is being faithful inobserving where your money is going.
Even the little amounts.
Craig, what are your thoughts here?

Craig (30:05):
Well, it, it goes back to that idea of looking backwards rather than
forwards than, so what he's basicallysaying is he looks back on the
spending that's happened in the past.
And he has these negative emotionsabout it and, and regret is kind of
like shame, but a little bit different.

(30:27):
So that's the way I'm hearing it,is he's regretting his past actions.
Regret can be a wasteful emotion.
In fact, it is a wasteful emotionunless it leads to positive action.
That's

Ralph (30:40):
the key.
Craig, you just nailed it.
That's the key.
Yep.
In itself is useless.

Craig (30:46):
That.
That's right.
And so if regret is a trigger foryou to say, Hmm, that didn't feel so
great, looking back on how I wastedthat money, I wanna figure out ways to
keep me from doing that in the future.
And you know, we've talked about abunch of these, leaving something
in your shopping cart for 24 hours,asking whether or not you're really
gonna get any satisfaction outof this thing you're gonna buy.

(31:08):
You know, we've talked about.
A bunch of those kinds of,of little mental tricks.
But I, I think that's the big thing.
Take that regret and turn it intopositive action and then that little
bit of negative emotion isn't wasted.
Plus you're kind of very subtly replacingit with a positive emotion because we

(31:28):
feel a little bit of, uh, you know, pridegets a bad rap, but we feel a little bit
of pride in taking that positive step.
And so we really kind of flippedthe, the emotional coin over from
the negative emotion of regret to thepositive emotion of, of reasonable pride.

Ralph (31:46):
Yeah.
And I think it's okay to have pride indoing things the right way, you know?
And the thing I was gonna say, David,is acknowledge what you've done,
acknowledge the situation, then pivot.
That's the whole point.
Acknowledge it, pivot and, andcollect the data, not damnation.
So many people look at that and they go,well, I'm damned I can't get anywhere.
You know, this is what I see.
But see the data points forimprovement, not as character

(32:08):
flaws like Craig just said.
If you see this as just characterflaws, you're never gonna move forward.
And remember, the big takeaway is the why.
That's the thing you needto focus on right now.
Why are you doing this?
Why?
Because you have David.
Your intention is youwant to do things better.
If you understand it, yes, I'm goingto find stuff that I wasn't expecting.

(32:30):
That's the whole point.
If you weren't tracking it, guess what?
You would've never figured this out.
You'd have your head buried in the sand.
So remember your why, and thenfocus on small adjustments.
So many people say, oh, you know,I've had so many people come in
Craig, and they'll say, Ralph, youknow, I did that for 30 days and man,
I, I, I'm doing everything wrong.
And I said, okay, good.

(32:51):
Now we can, now we can work with that.
There's something we can do with that.
But I, the next thing I sayto him kind of surprises him.
I'm almost like I, let's pickone thing for the next week.
Focus on one thing.
We've talked about these things.
Craig, pack your lunch.
You know, uh, put that pauseon before you buy stuff.
But tiny levers, these little thingsthat we can change have a huge impact.

(33:13):
I think it's so easy to get stuckin the date and so, oh well the
budget said I didn't do this and Ioverspent in this area, Ralph, and
we ordered out takeout every night.
But, but, but then they don't thinkabout, yeah, but then I just found out
my wife was sick or the kids were sick,or, you know, life happens and I think we
get so hung up on this rigid set of likeexpectations that we don't acknowledge

(33:36):
the fact that we are flawed people.
If you don't hear anything elseI say today, acknowledge the fact
that we are all flawed people.
But see that's the beauty ofbeing human is in our flaws.
That's where humanity starts.
And I think I got a little bit, uh,a little deep there, but it's true.
That's where's so focus on small things.

(33:57):
And the other side of this,and so many people don't get
this, celebrate small wins.
Celebrate small things like,and even if it's, oh, I didn't
buy something, that's a win.
You know, go back and look at your cart.
I'm I, I'll get to you.
I'm sorry I didn't mean tointerrupt you, but No, go ahead.
Go ahead.
That's a win.
And if you go back and look at thatcart that you paused for 48 hours,

(34:17):
go look at your Am I'm picking onAmazon, but go look at your Amazon
cart and look at all the wins.
Those are the things you didn't buy.
But Craig, you had a, you had a thought.

Craig (34:25):
Well, there, there's a thing called a virtuous cycle.
Where the one good act makesyou feel good, and that leads to
another good act, which makes youfeel good and so on and so forth.
And I think what, what people willfind is if they get over that initial
little bit of guilt or regret orwhatever emotion we wanna call it,

(34:46):
and they say, oh, you know what?
I could cut back here.
Then they do that for a week.
That feels good and it almost turnsinto this kind of a game where, let me
find something else I can cut back on.
Let me find somethingelse I can cut back on.
And it, it really does havethis self-reinforcing cycle that
can be really quite positive.

Ralph (35:08):
Oh, it's very positive.

Craig (35:09):
You gotta get started.
You gotta get started.
I'm,

Ralph (35:11):
I'm going through that right now with my weight loss, Craig.
Like, it's kind of fun.
Like I'm at the point nowwhere I had to go buy belts.
I haven't bought belts in years.
I'm buying clothes and my wife is like.
Yeah, you gotta buy some clothes.
So I, I was on Facebook, right?
And I wear like, old man jeans, I guessis the best way to say it, you know,
with the pleats and all that, becauseI'm, I've been a big guy my entire life.

(35:31):
Well, so I, I, I said, well,these things are so big now.
Like I, I'm, I'm having to like, tuckthe sides of the pants in on the sides
and the belts like, and so I said, well,I'm gonna go buy some jeans, right?
So I went and I wentonline, found some jeans.
That was a mistake.
First of all, don't shop forclothes online if you don't
know really what your size is.
So I said, well, I'm wearing thissize right now and it's too big.

(35:51):
I'll order one size down.
Well, the coolest thing, Craig,the jeans came last night.
My dog didn't freak out becauseit didn't come in a bag.
They come in a bag instead of a box.
So Piper was fine.
So I'm after dinner, I'm standingthere at the, at the kitchen
counter and I said, oh, cool.
My jeans are here.
And I had been making fun.
I said to my wife, I ordered skinnyjeans, and she looks over at me.
She goes, she goes,Ralph, you're not skinny.

(36:13):
I said, no, God didn't make me skinny.
But anyway, so I pull these jeans outand I'm all excited these, I open 'em up
and I said, I'm gonna go try these on.
I went to try 'em on Craig,and they're huge on me and I'm
thinking, oh, this is awesome.
I'm liking this.
Yep.
Because that's a return

Craig (36:27):
you wanna do.
Oh

Ralph (36:28):
yeah, man.
I was like, and I said to her, Isaid, are you going to the store?
She goes, yeah.
I said, oh, great.
I want you to return these andI'm gonna order two sizes smaller.
She's like, do you really think it's,I said, yeah, that's what I wanna do.
But what I learned from that, and it'sthe same thing with your finances.
Don't stop.
Don't stop.
Learn the lessons and go on.
Because listen, it'sthat pain of awareness.

(36:48):
It's just that first step.
But once you take that step, youget to that point of healing and
you get to that point of freedom.
And listen to us, Craigand I have both been here.
We're speaking from experience.
You will get to a point of freedom.
It's not easy at first.
You're doing something that's hard.
Managing your money is hard.

(37:08):
I, I, I joke and say it's notrocket science, but it's hard.
It's hard to get to, to restrain yourself.
It's hard to restrict yourself.
It's hard to be, you know, disciplined.
Those things are hard.
So don't beat yourself up,but keep moving forward.
So David, I just wanna thank you.
That was a great question.
It gave, gave it Craig and I, a goodopportunity to really talk about it.

(37:31):
And so keep pressing forward becauseyou're gaining valuable knowledge.
Well, Craig, let's move onto question number five.
And this one comes to us from Gracie.
Gracie's, uh, question toucheson a, on the mountain idea of
you're trying to climb about debt.
So it says this, she says, I'veacknowledged my money, stress, and
looked at my snapshot, but my debt is sohuge, it feels impossible to even start.

(37:55):
How do I tackle this mountainwithout getting completely crushed?
And you know, when I got this question,Craig, I started thinking, I can see
Gracie standing at this big mountain.
And we get to the prayer.
I've got a cool, uh, slide herefor the mountain, but I get it.
Like, and you're looking at this thing,you've listed out your debts, so you've
taken the hard work, you've said, okay.
'cause one of the things I saidin the show, Craig, is I want

(38:15):
you to list all your debts.
You know, be honest, here's what I owe.
Here's the amount, here's how,what the interest rate is.
Here's the monthly payment.
But once you do that, then you'regonna stand back and you go,
wow, there's a mountain here.
I get it.
It's a heavy burden to carry.
It's not easy, and it's easy tolook at that mountain of debt
and feel like, you know what?
I can't do it.
It's insurmountable.

(38:36):
I'll never get over it.
But I wanted to go to scriptureand Jesus said this in the book of
Matthew, chapter 17, verse 20, itsays This, truly, I tell you, if you
have faith as small as a mustard seed,you can say to this mountain, move
from here to there and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.

(38:57):
So I really thought that that wasa good way to start answering your
question, Gracie, because our faithisn't just for spiritual matters.
A lot of people think faith, oh, youknow, if I'm sick or something's going on.
You know, it's not justfor spiritual matters.
It applies to every area of ourlives, including our finances.
God gives us strength for all things.
The book of Philippians, chapter four,th uh, four, chapter four verse 13,

(39:21):
reminds us I can do all things whocr through Christ who strengthens me.
So start with that, Gracie.
Yes.
It's a mountain.
Yes.
It's going to be hard.
Yes.
You've gotten yourself into aposition where you've got a mountain
to climb, but you can get past this.
There is, there is a wayto get past the mountain.

(39:41):
Craig, what are you thinking here?

Craig (39:44):
Well, um, there's an old saying in the running community,
um, I think I've used this before.
How do you run a marathon?
One step at a time.

Ralph (39:52):
Amen.
You

Craig (39:53):
know, it's 26.2 miles of one step after another.
Um, and, and, and that's what you needto focus on, is it's, look, I'm, I'm
gonna take one step, and there's aninteresting thing about that one step.
You're closer to your goal thanyou were before you took that step.
So you just need to think about it.
Go back to that small wins.

(40:14):
What's one thing I can do?
I'm gonna do that thing, and thenI'm gonna do the next thing, and
then I'm gonna do the next thing.
And, and that's how you solvethese sorts of problems.
And, and one, something thatyou've said before is focus on
your progress, not perfection.
And so when you have that win, youhave a little mental celebration.

(40:36):
You know, every time you reduce thatdebt a little bit more, or you retire
a debt or you, whatever it is, havea little mental celebration of it
and it'll be a, a reinforcement.
Positive reinforcement to keepthat sort of behavior going.
But look, it, it, most, mostof us who have been in debt, we
didn't get that way overnight.

(40:57):
You know, it, it took a whileand it's gonna take a while to
unwind it, but stop digging.
I'm gonna mix metaphors here.
So, we had the mountain going high.
You've got dug yourself into debt.
First thing to do is stop diggingand then start climbing out of it.
Yeah.
And one step at a time.

Ralph (41:16):
You're right.
And Gracie, your beginning stepmight be not adding any more debt.
That's a step.
That is a step.
That's a foothold.
And then pray for wisdom.
Pray for strategy.
Create a mini plan for just one debt.
Maybe you say, look, Ralph, I got this onecredit card I owe a thousand dollars on.
I can focus on that.
I can take $10 a week and send it to thecredit card company to pay that down.

(41:39):
I'm hoping the interest rate isn'tenough to eat that up, but I'm
being, I'm being positive here.
But the fact that you're not digging,the fact that you're not adding
to that, the fact that you're notstill, you're not in the dark.
You know what you've got.
That's huge.
You've put together, even if it'sa mini plan of, look, I've got an
extra a hundred dollars a month.
Here's my debt extinguishment fund.

(42:01):
That's huge.
And celebrate that progress.
The small victories, because those smallvictories, you know, one of the things
they talk about with debt reduction,and I talked about this on the show,
the debt avalanche, the debt snowball.
Both of those metaphors are one thing,and that is a step and a step and a step.
You gotta focus on the smallvictories because you're right.
If you think that you're gonna, Craigsaid it very eloquently said, you

(42:23):
didn't get into this position overnight.
You're not gonna get out of it overnight.
And so many people have that mentalitylike they're gonna go play the
lottery and then next thing you know,they're not gonna have any debts.
And guess what?
That doesn't usually happen.
So you're going to have to invest.
You took a lot of time toinvest in creating the debt.
You're gonna have to take as much timeinvesting to extinguish it, but there

(42:46):
is light at the end of the tunnel.
And think about what Jesus said.
If you have the faith of a mustardseed now, and I look this up,
a mustard seed is minuscule.
And Jesus used thatintentionally, I think.
'cause what he was sayingis, faith can move mountains.
I know that's a cliche thing to say.
Just have that little bit of faithbecause I don't know about you, Craig,

(43:08):
but I have had experiences in my lifewhen I just put faith at, I've tested
faith, basically a better way to say it.
And man, it just happened.
It doesn't mean I didn'thave to put work into it.
Like, and I don't wanna, I don't wantpeople to get disillusioned if they
think that, oh, Ralph said today on theshow that I list all my debts and I pray
about it, and they go magically away.
Nope, Ralph didn't say that.

(43:30):
What Ralph did say is like Craig said,if you're gonna run that, was it 26.2
for, or whatever that for a marathon.
I remember I ran a 5K and like fat manwent up running a 5K and it started with
the first step and yeah, it took me 45minutes to run a 5K, but guess what?
I finished, dude, it couldhave taken me three hours.
I didn't care because I waswalking, I was, I was struggling

(43:53):
along, but I was going to finish.
You've gotta think about it the same way.
Craig, what are your thoughts?
Anything else you want to add to that?

Craig (44:00):
Yeah, I, I, I would also add that, uh, faith without, without
action usually is not very effective.
And so, you know, faith is a funny thing.
It's a very funny thing,but I think take action.
Don't rely, just, you've heard the jokeabout the, I think I told it on here about

(44:21):
the guy who fell off the cliff and Godsent him a, a rope and, you know, and, and
so, you know, God will give you the tools,but you need to do your part as well.

Ralph (44:31):
You gotta take action.
So, Gracie, that's what Craig and I say,thank you for your vulnerability, Gracie.
But taking that first step on themountain is often the hardest.
Well, Craig, let's get toour final question for today.
And this one comes to us from Daniel.
Daniel perfectly encapsulates achallenge many of us face after that
Iner initial burst of motivation.
That's what he said.
He says, Ralph, I get so motivatedafter listening to the show, but

(44:55):
then life happens and I fall offthe budgeting tracking wagon.
How do I stay consistent and not feellike a failure every time I miss a step?
Well, Daniel, here's my answer for that.
Your question hits home forso many of us, including me.
Listen.
I fall off the wagon, I've I missteps.
That initial motivation is powerful, butthat's not the key to the whole thing.

(45:17):
The key to the whole thing ismaintaining that consistency when
life throws curve balls and it will.
I play men's, uh, church leaguesoftball and there's a few guys
that pitch that throw curve balls.
Now, if you're an old guy like me, youknow, if you wait long enough, you can
whack a curve ball a long way, but yougotta have patience and it's not easy.
It is absolutely easy to feel likea failure when you stumble you.

(45:42):
I get it.
Been there, done that.
But remember the Christian life,much like our financial journey
is about perseverance and grace.
And I love what Philippianschapter three, verse 14 says.
It says, I press on towards the goalto win the prize, or which God has
called me heaven word in Christ Jesus.
And James chapter one, versestwo and four minus that

(46:03):
perseverance produces character.
One of the things we've talked about alot on the show today, it's not about
being perfect, it's about getting backup because you are going to stumble.
You are going to make mistakes, and you'regoing to fail if you don't hear again.
I've said this a coupletimes today, hear me on this.

(46:24):
It's not about being perfect,it's about getting back up.
Craig, what do you think?

Craig (46:29):
Yeah, when you fall off a horse, you get back on.
If you wanna get anywhere.
So get get back on thehorse, get back on the wagon.
It happens.
Forgive yourself, give, giveyourself a little self grace.
Um, I think it's a huge part of it.
The other thing that I would highlyencourage Daniel to do when he does,

(46:50):
excuse me, fall off the wagon, is todo a little bit of analysis about why.
Did he let down his guard?
Did he ignore his budget?
Did he, you know, was he tryingto do some retail therapy?
What was it?
Did, did he make the mistake ofgoing to Harbor Freight on a Saturday

(47:10):
instead of coming straight home?
You know, what, what, whatwas it that caused that slip?
And then try not to do that again.
Absolutely.
And I think that's a big part of it.

Ralph (47:20):
So you're, you're talking about Harbor Freight and the mind.
My vision comes to mind.
Like I didn't realize when I firststarted going to Harbor Freight
that those five gallon buckets arenot intended to be shopping carts.
Because I had this mentality wheneverI went to, to Harbor Freight, and
if anybody's never been there, theysell Harbor Freight red buckets.
It's a five gallon bucket,and for me it's always, okay.
Your goal today, if you choose toaccept it, is to fill this bucket

(47:43):
by the time you leave the store.
Obviously, not always the best thingto do, but Craig, you nailed it.
Self-compassion, notself-condemnation, and the bigger
one, review why you fell off.
Identify your triggers.
That's the key.
Once you figure out what triggersyou, then do less of those things.
Right.
You know, and find anaccountability partner, but get

(48:04):
back on the wagon immediately.
Don't wait.
You know, one of the things I think Craig,a lot of people do is they'll say, you
know, starting Monday I'm gonna do it.
I've done this on my diet so many times.
You know, it's Tuesday and I'vefallen off, I've eaten something.
Ah, well, it's Tuesday afternoon.
Well, you know, Monday's coming.
Yeah.
But then the problem is I just didcrazy stuff for six days straight.

(48:26):
Right.
The key is to get back on it right away.
If you make a mistake, you boughtsomething, first of all, answer yourself.
Can you take it back?
You know, can you takeback that impulse purchase?
It might not be comfortable.
Maybe you gotta do that, you know,maybe you gotta take it back.
I remember we were shopping one time, mywife and I, and she'll probably be upset.
I told this story, butI'm gonna tell it anyway.
Um, my wife is really, she reallywanted one of those really fancy

(48:49):
purses, and I'm not gonna tell youwhat it costs, but we went to the
store, she really wanted this purseand I said, well, go buy for yourself.
You know, you work hard,that sort of thing.
She bought this purse, Craig, andwe're walking around the mall and
the whole time she's thinking.
Do I really need this purse?
And before we left the mall,she had returned that purse.
Good for her.
And so, yeah, and, and like I said,we had the money to pay for it.

(49:11):
It wasn't like we were not goingto be able to eat that day.
But see, that's the thing you can do.
So now if she had just said, youknow what, I bought the purse.
I'm just gonna take it home.
And you know, no.
Change the dynamic right then becauseconsistency is built on continuous
recommitment, not unbroken perfection.
Right.

(49:32):
You know, and, and that's really thekey to it, is, you know, and don't
wait till the next interval, youknow, oh, my next paycheck I'm gonna
save, or my next this or my next step.
Because first of all, you mightnot get that next opportunity, and
secondarily, you're breaking the momentum.
So if you can change the momentum today,like I, and, and I know it's tough, get,
I get it, I've been there, done that.

(49:53):
You know, I didn't stay fat foreverbecause I didn't make those decisions.
I made those decisionsto make bad decisions.
I, I remember one time I, it'snot my first time I lost weight.
I remember I was in college that,

Craig (50:04):
that was very meta Ralph.

Ralph (50:05):
It was very meta.
The

Craig (50:06):
decision decisions.
Yeah.
Very meta,

Ralph (50:08):
very, I liked it.
Well, I remember I was in collegeand a friend of mine, we were out
doing something and I used to loveto stop at the convenience store and
get those little cherry pies, right.
That was like my little go-to thing.
And he said to me, and I usedto buy these packs that had two
cherry pies and little square pies.
And there's a guy caredabout me and he says, um.
He says, man, he says, youknow, I know you're trying.

(50:30):
He says, but I want you to do something.
I'm like, okay.
He says, you wanna getthose pies, don't you?
I said, yep.
He says, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to eat one, and I want youto run the other one over with your car.
And I said, well, that'san interesting thought.
So I went in, I got my pie, I got thatlittle fix of pie, but then I already did.
I put the other one under my tire andI ran it over, and it might seem silly,

(50:50):
but I was drawing a line in the sand.
Yeah, I didn't eat both of the pies.
I only ate one.
Well, that's, that's improvement.
Yep.
You know, that's committing to that.
Now I haven't eaten one of thosepies again after that night, so like,
but that was my line in the sand.
So again, it might sound likea silly analogy, but start
with what you can control.
Do it now.

(51:10):
Don't wait till the next cyclebecause you're gonna find that you're
not going to do it if you keep onputting it off and putting it off.
Craig, what do you think?

Craig (51:18):
Oh, you, you're exactly right.
Uh, we're great at rationalizing actionsand inactions and so you know that I'll
go back to the idea of self-discipline.
You know, just practice a littleself-discipline and every time you
do, it'll get a little bit easierthe next time and the next time.
And the next time.

Ralph (51:37):
Yeah, that's right.
And you may have to do itmidstream like I did with the pie.
You know?
I said, you know what, um, Igot one pie in my mouth and the
other one's going under the tire,which seems silly, but mentally.
I remembered that, Hey, whatever works.
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever works.
Well, let's pray together.
How about we do that?
Let's pray together as we wrapup this powerful discussion.

(51:57):
Father God, thank you for the opportunityto reflect on these profound questions.
And Lord, the steps that we'vetaken this week, and we confess it,
facing our financial reality, thestress, the numbers, the habits,
they truly can bring challengesand sometimes deep discouragement.
And Lord, we just thank you for yourgrace to face these things without shame,

(52:18):
knowing that you see us, that you'dlove us and that you are with us always.
Grant us continue courage tolook honestly at our finances.
And Lord, give us wisdom to use toolslike snapshots and budgets and tracking
for your glory and help us to learn fromour spending patterns and to trust in
your guidance every step of the way.
Lord, I just asked that you would blessthe listeners who sent in questions and

(52:41):
bless everyone who is diligently workingtowards financial confidence, and we
ask this in confidence in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Wow, Craig.
These listener questions really broughtto life the journey we're on from
facing stress and isolation to gettinga clear picture and, uh, starting with
a budget and track and tracking debtand saving for cons, uh, consistency.

(53:03):
And you know, at the end of the day,these are really foundational steps on the
journey to becoming what I've renamed theshow a, a financially confident Christian.
So I just wanna say thank youfor your questions and, and,
and, you know, thank you.
We were able to dig in deeperand address the, the heart
of these financial struggles.
And if you're having questions likethis, we continue these series.
You join us live every week.

(53:24):
We do a daily, I do adaily show every day.
You can send in your questionsto our website that's at.
Financially confident christian.com.
And I do have a littlegiveaway for everybody.
Right now, if you want a free copyof my book, you can get a copy of
my book by going to financiallyconfident christian.com/master.
It's just 47 pages, but it'll helpyou get started on that, that journey

(53:46):
to really improve your finances.
I think you'll really find it worthyand you can get that absolutely
free by going to financiallyconfident christian.com/master.
So Craig, I just want tothank you for joining me.
I really do appreciate it.
We missed you last week, but we'rehappy to have you back this week.
good to see

Craig (54:04):
everybody

Ralph (54:05):
and let's all go out there and be what we called ourselves to be
financially confident Christians, Iencourage you to stay financially savvy.
God bless you and youhave a great day today.

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