September 10, 2025 • 24 mins
I eat too much of x. I don't workout enough. I need more accountability. I need to be more discplined.
Every heard or said any of these? I have which is why I'm sharing the 7 rules to becoming more self discplined so you can rule your own life and health!
What 30 day challenge are you going to start?
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Kindal Boyle has been a personal trainer for nearly 20 years focusing on women's strength and fitness. She'll teach you how to combine strength training and cardio for a hybrid approach to build the fittest body and life no matter where you are in your fitness journey.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) What's up, guys?
Welcome to a brand new episode of the
Fit Women's Weekly Podcast.
How's life going for you?
Have you been hitting your fitness goals that
you're setting for yourself?
Are you sticking with your nutrition habits that
you feel make you feel the best that
you possibly can?
If not, then this episode is for you.
If you are somebody that is continuously telling
yourself, I need accountability, I need more self
(00:21):
-discipline, I need to be more motivated to
hit my goals, then buckle up because I'm
going to share with you the six secrets
to becoming a more disciplined person.
And the reason that this is on my
mind right now is because I'm in the
middle of a disciplined challenge with my husband.
Every couple of months, or I'd say every
couple, like a couple of times per year,
(00:42):
we will purposely give ourselves some sort of
30 to 60 day challenge.
Not necessarily because I want to see these
amazing results of my body, but more so
we kind of find ourselves letting go of
our discipline, kind of letting our motivation go
towards the sidelines and just slipping into some
(01:04):
bad habits.
So we do these discipline challenges to kind
of bring ourselves back to center and remind
ourselves we can do hard things.
At the beginning of the year, we did
a 30 day carnivore challenge.
And again, we also do these not to
see how our bodies change, but for the
discipline purpose to help build discipline and to
(01:24):
just to see how our body reacts when
we change certain things in our life.
So we've done the carnivore challenge earlier this
year.
We have gone 30 days with no alcohol
at another time.
And then this month, for me personally, I
am doing a 30 day no sourdough challenge,
which I know sounds crazy.
A lot of my friends are like, why
are you giving up something that's actually good
(01:45):
for you?
And it's simply the fact of practicing self
discipline because that will then roll over to
other areas of my life.
But I'm also doing it because I'm supporting
my husband.
So my husband is somebody who drinks a
little bit more than I do for sure.
He gets into the habit where at the
end of the day, it's been a stressful
(02:05):
day.
He will go and pick up a bottle
of wine and have a couple of glasses.
And then after a while, he just realizes
like, you know, I'm waking up sluggish.
This is becoming like a daily habit where
I'm craving a glass of wine and it's
becoming a actual habit, you know, where you're
like, you're just expecting it when you get
home.
So when he starts to get into that,
that mindset where every day it's like, I
(02:27):
want a glass of wine.
That's when he'll kind of say, you know
what?
I need to pull myself away from it.
And I need to take this out because
I know that this isn't the lifestyle that
I should be leading every single day.
So we're all about having a couple of
glasses of wine or a cocktail or two
during the week.
But when it becomes something that you're craving
every day, that's when he kind of takes
(02:49):
a step back and goes, all right.
I need to do a no alcohol month
just to clean myself up so that I
can move forward with a more realistic habit
that is healthier for me, where you're only
drinking a glass or two on the weekends.
So when he wanted to do this, I'm
always 100% supportive.
I am personally not a big drinker at
(03:09):
all.
So at first when he said this, I
was like, yeah, I'll do it with you
because if he's not drinking, I am not
going to drink.
I'm not the type of person that will
go buy a bottle of wine for myself
on a Friday night.
If it's not in the house, I'm not
going to do it.
Or even if it is in the house,
I won't do it by myself.
That's just how my mentality is.
So at first I was all on board
and he was like, cool.
(03:30):
And then after a couple of days, Dan
looked at me and was like, you know
what?
This isn't a challenge for you.
You know, this is a challenge for me
and it would make, you know, I think
that if you're going to do this, do
something that will challenge you.
And as many of you know, if you
follow me on Instagram or any form of
social media, over the past couple of months,
I've really gotten into sourdough making.
(03:51):
I love the process of making it.
I love the ritual part of it.
I love the pride and being like, oh
my gosh, I'm putting together like three ingredients
and this beautiful loaf comes out.
And also the creativity that goes into making
different loaves.
I actually just made a lemon poppy seed
loaf.
Very, very good.
But anyways, and that's also become part of
(04:14):
my diet every single day.
I look forward to a piece of sourdough.
So just in order to build that discipline
and give myself a challenge because I've got
about three different types of loaves in my
fridge right now, I decided that I would
give up sourdough bread for the month.
Not because sourdough is bad for you.
It is not, but because that is a
challenge for me.
(04:34):
And here's the thing that I love about
discipline challenges is it proves to you that
you are capable of doing hard things, whether
that is small or big.
And we're going to talk about that in
this short little episode today.
So first off, what actually is self-discipline?
Well, according to the good old Dr. Google,
(04:56):
it is the ability to control one's feelings
and overcome one's weaknesses.
The ability to pursue what one thinks is
right despite temptations to abandon it.
So basically I want to, I'm going to
be tempted with sourdough, but I'm going to
abandon it.
And my husband is giving up alcohol for
the month.
(05:16):
I've also got a couple of friends and
clients with Filmmons Weekly who are going to
join us on this.
We're not going to join us.
They are joining us.
We are nine days into this challenge right
now.
And they, a lot of people are giving
up sugar, giving up alcohol.
And some people are adding.
So you don't always have to take away
something for some sort of discipline challenge.
You can also add things in, drink more
(05:37):
water, get more steps in, exercise consistently.
So let's quickly talk about why they, I
think that they are important, right?
Despite things like 75 hard, I'm actually not
a big fan of something like that.
And we'll talk about that in a second.
I am a big fan obviously of these
kind of challenges, or I wouldn't do it
as often as I do.
(05:59):
One, it gives yourself a reset.
Two, it helps you realize that you are
stronger than you know.
Three, it helps if you are able to
stick to it.
Two, give yourself a little bit of grace.
And four, it helps you move forward knowing,
hey, I did that so I can do
this moving forward or helps you balance out
life a little bit more.
I don't expect Dan to give up alcohol
(06:21):
from here on out.
If he does for a lifestyle, that's great.
But this is going to help him to
just kind of reset, get himself more on
a healthier habit where he's not wanting to
drink every night.
Once this is over, perhaps he can just
stick to like a Friday and a Saturday
night, whatever he wants to do.
But he now realizes the power that he
(06:42):
has to make those decisions versus the habit
that he's created, which makes it feel like
that has all of the power.
So if you're somebody that is wanting to
just kind of take control of your life
and to realize that you have the discipline
to be able to do that, I think
that that's really important that everybody should.
But first, obviously choose what kind of discipline
(07:03):
challenge you want to do.
There's so many different types.
A couple of good ones when it comes
to the fitness and health space is waking
up early, waking up at 5 a.m.
as a discipline.
I have people all the time that are
like, man, I wish I could get my
workouts in.
I just don't have the time of day.
Well, if they would set their alarm for
an hour earlier, you could.
But it's so easy because they're in the
(07:24):
habit of waking up at, let's say, 7
a.m. They'll say, I am just not
a morning person.
I have set the alarm for 5 a
.m. and I just can't do it.
That is your mind telling you you can't.
But in reality, you might actually be able
to do it.
Meditating first thing, meditating for 10 minutes, that
is a discipline challenge.
Can you wake up and meditate every 10
(07:44):
minutes?
If you are for 10 minutes every day,
reading maybe might be a challenge for you.
Maybe you want to become a better reader,
but again, you don't have the time.
Can you read for 10 minutes at bedtime?
Shut the TV off, read in the morning
before you get in the shower, taking cold
showers, getting a certain amount of steps per
(08:05):
day, getting a set number of workouts in
per week, no alcohol, cutting out added sugar,
cutting out processed foods, for example.
Or, like me, you're just joining somebody, and
what's something that's hard in your life, or
not necessarily hard in your life, but something
(08:26):
that is in your life consistently, that would
be difficult for you to take out, that's
not going to hurt you if you take
it out.
Again, just to prove to yourself that you
are capable of doing that.
So once you do that, then it is
time to actually start building your discipline and
working on it.
So what are the secrets to actually make
that happen?
Well, there are seven.
I think I accidentally said in the intro
(08:47):
that there are six, but there are actually
seven tips that I'm going to offer you
in order to build your self-discipline.
Number one, know your weaknesses and have a
growth not fixed mindset.
This is so important to have.
Going back to how I was talking about
how some people say they just can't wake
up in the morning, that is a fixed
(09:07):
mindset.
In your mind, that is you telling yourself
you cannot change.
Whereas if you recognize the weaknesses that you
have, for example, Dan with his wine, he
has the ability to have a growth mindset
and say, right now, this is where I
am, but I'm acknowledging my weakness and I
want to change.
So having a growth mindset means that you're
(09:27):
open to this idea of learning more and
changing the actions that you hold right now.
You are not stuck.
People are very pliable.
You can change who you are from one
day to the next, but it does take
some practice and you have to be open
to the idea.
People with a fixed mindset say that this
is who I am and this is who
I always will be.
That is not the way to be the
(09:48):
best human that you can be.
You got to let go of that idea.
No one should be stuck in this fixed
mindset.
Or if you, for example, going back, this
is actually a fantastic book as well.
I think it's called Fixed Mindset.
I don't remember, but everybody should read it
and I'll make sure to tag it in
the show notes where it's kind of people
that grow up being like, I'm not good
(10:10):
at math, right?
Well, if you continuously say you're not good
at math, you're never going to be good
at math.
Whereas if you say, I'm not good at
math, but I'm going to get a tutor.
I'm going to start studying 10 minutes each
day.
Suddenly, you become better at math, right?
You're getting rid of this idea that you're
stuck in this position and the same thing
happens with anything as you get older.
(10:32):
If you're somebody that's always suffering and saying,
I don't have self-discipline, then you're going
to go through life thinking that you don't
have self-discipline.
But if you're like, I don't have self
-discipline, however, I want to, so I'm going
to do a 30-day self-discipline challenge
and stick it out, then guess what?
You're building that muscle and changing it so
that all of a sudden, after 30 days,
(10:53):
you're going to have a little bit of
self-discipline, not something that you're continuously going
to have to work on.
It doesn't come naturally from the get-go,
but it can with time.
So know what your weaknesses are, know what
it is that you want to work on,
and then open yourself up to having a
growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.
Tip number two is remove your temptations.
(11:15):
Why make things harder on yourself than they
need to be?
And I think we purposely do this sometimes
to prove to ourselves that we can handle
temptation, but especially at the start of things,
why?
Why do you want to do that?
If you are trying to give up alcohol,
for example, why have a bottle of chilled
(11:35):
Chardonnay sitting in your fridge?
Get rid of it, give it to somebody,
put it someplace else, and a wine, maybe
you have like a wine rack somewhere in
your house, but don't have it where it's
so accessible to you every single day.
Yes, for some people, you know you have
it in your head of like, but by
me seeing it every day and me saying,
(11:55):
no, that gives me more power.
Okay, well, it does that, but it makes
it so much harder on yourself than it
actually needs to be.
Take those temptations and toss them away.
If you work out in your bedroom, for
example, right now, and you're trying to work
out consistently, but all you're doing is seeing
your bed, what is that telling your mind?
Your bedroom is made for relaxation and sleeping.
(12:16):
So if you're trying to build and create
a workout habit, but you're working out and
you're looking at your bed the whole time,
you might be like, oh, this sucks.
So take your weights, make some space somewhere
else in your house, maybe even get outside
and create a space that energizes you versus
a space that's naturally supposed to help bring
you down into a relaxation mode.
(12:38):
Does that make sense?
And then the last example is, if you
are trying to give up sugar for 30
days, then why do you have a pantry
full of sweet treats?
Even if it's your kids in your house,
you know, it's 30 days.
Say, hey, guys, we're going to do this
together.
Help support me, and we're all going to
feel better at the long run and then
bring in some healthier options, bring in the
berries and the fruit and things like that.
(12:59):
If that is just not possible, then at
least put those sweet treats somewhere where you're
not going every day.
Make it a designated drawer somewhere or another
cabinet that is kind of out of sight,
out of mind for you, but where it's
still accessible to other people.
Don't try to prove to yourself that you're
stronger than you are, especially at the beginning.
(13:20):
Keep things simple.
Tip number three, set your goals.
This is where I want you to actually
create your discipline challenge.
I'm going to do 30 days of X.
I'm going to go 60 days of Y.
And here's what I want you to realize
is that this is also the reminder to
have some grace with yourself.
This is why I don't like things like
(13:41):
75 hard, because with 75 hard, if you
don't know what that is, it's a 75
-day challenge where you're not supposed to eat
sugar.
I think you work out two times a
day.
You have to read at least 10 pages
of a book.
You have to take a picture of yourself
every single day.
That's more for them than you, I think,
because they want the testimonial images at the
end.
(14:02):
You have to drink a gallon of water
every single day.
That is a lot.
And if you mess up on any of
those things and don't complete it, then let's
say you've gone 50 of the 75 days.
You have to start back over at day
one.
And what does that do?
That makes people go, oh, see, I knew
I couldn't do it going back to that
fixed mindset.
(14:22):
So I'm just going to give up.
Maybe I'll try this again later, but I
failed.
Whereas if you just realize that you're human
and you're probably going to fall off the
bandwagon at some point during your challenge, even
in the slightest way, today's a new day,
tomorrow's a new day.
Next, you know, the next hour is a
(14:42):
new hour.
Start back.
Don't give up on yourself.
Just pick up where you left off and
keep going and realize that that is most
likely going to happen.
You're going to lose motivation, and the self
-discipline muscle is going to weaken from time
to time, especially the farther along you get
through the challenge.
I know in our head, we think that
as we go through it, it's going to
(15:03):
get easier when, in reality, it's actually the
opposite, especially in the middle.
When you're starting a new challenge, you're like,
yes, I can do this.
I'm so motivated.
You're excited, right?
You want to see how you're going to
feel.
And then with time, after about week two
or week three, that's when that newness wears
off and the motivation starts to wax and
wean, and that's where you're 100% relying
(15:25):
on your self-discipline to keep yourself going.
And it's really easy to say, if I
mess up, then I fail.
It's also really easy to say, wow, I've
made it 20 of the 30 days.
That's good enough.
What's good enough is actually following through.
And this also goes to show that things
like this is an example of type two
fun, where during the actual challenge, you're like,
(15:48):
this kind of sucks.
This is boring.
I'm not doing the normal fun things that
I normally do.
Let's admit it.
Cookies and cake, if that's what you're trying
to give up, those are really delicious things.
However, at the end of it, you get
to say, boom, I did it.
And you feel proud of yourself.
(16:08):
You feel happy of yourself.
And that's where the type two fun comes
in.
So set specific challenges for yourself and realize
that you're not going to be perfect.
But don't let your imperfections stop you from
carrying on.
And if you want to, you can absolutely
add to it.
So let's say if you do mess up
one day, if just in your mind, it
makes you feel better, that once you get
(16:29):
to 30 days to go for 31 days
because that one mess up, that's fine.
You get to create the rules.
No one's going to knock at your door
and say, knock, knock, knock, you failed.
So take that pressure away and do what
makes you feel proud of yourself.
Number four, have some sort of accountability tracking.
Whenever I'm doing some sort of challenge like
this, I either keep it in some sort
(16:50):
of notebook where I can write down day
one, day two, day three.
And something like, I actually like to use
the graph paper of a moleskin because I
can write out 30 days and then I
can create my own little boxes.
And then each day that I'm successful, you
just kind of square a color in that
box.
And so it's like a checklist where it's
day one, done, day two, done, day three,
(17:13):
done, day four.
Oh, I messed up day five, done, day
six.
And so you get to see these streaks
and it's almost like a countdown.
Other things that I've done as well is
I've gotten sticky notes and I've done the
numbers in reverse.
So I'll start with day 30 and I'll
write 29, 28.
And so each day I just remove that
top piece of paper and it acts like
(17:34):
a countdown to being done with the challenge.
So that's another way to help hold me
accountable.
Another way is to have some sort of
accountability partner.
Find a friend.
Just like I am with Dan, he's giving
up alcohol.
I'm giving up my sourdough.
We're giving up two very different things, but
we're doing it together so that we can
hold each other accountable.
Last night, he actually got a raise at
(17:55):
work and got a little bit of a
bonus, so he wanted to celebrate.
And of course the first thing was like,
we need champagne.
And I was like, no, no, no.
Let's not do it that way.
But what is something so fun that we
can acknowledge it that doesn't revolve around alcohol?
So I went to the grocery store and
I picked us up some kombuchas and I
poured them into wine glasses and that's what
we had.
(18:15):
But we had that teamwork going on to
help where it has had he been by
himself.
It would have been very, very easy to
just be like, it's just one night, you
know, I'm going to do it this way.
So have some sort of accountability and some
sort of way to track your progress.
It's going to help hold you accountable throughout
the entire process.
Number five, have a plan for when the
(18:37):
initial challenge is actually over.
Another reason that I don't like things like
75 Heart is because when the 75-day
challenge is over or something like Whole30, which
I actually do like Whole30 if you don't
go about it like this, is that when
it's over, you celebrate and then you're like,
yes, I did 75 days of all these
crazy things or 30 days of all of
(18:57):
this amazing nutrition stuff.
Let's go celebrate.
And then you celebrate with all the vices
that you just tried to give up, and
you go right back into your old habits.
And then what's the point of everything?
So have some sort of plan for once
your challenge is over.
For Dan, for example, once he's finished with
30 days of completely no alcohol, he plans
(19:18):
on just going to have wine on Fridays
and Saturdays.
I don't have a plan with sourdough.
I feel like I have a pretty basic
balance of it.
I'm not eating a loaf of bread every
single day.
A loaf of bread generally takes me about
two weeks to eat.
It's just a little slice here and there.
But had it been something that I was
overindulging in, then, yes, I would have some
sort of plan of like, okay, I'm eating
(19:40):
an entire loaf a day.
Let's do it where I have just, you
know, I don't know, four ounces of like
a wait-out slice.
Something to help keep me balanced with it
if you are exercising every single day.
That's not something that I would condone and
something that I would say that you should
be doing.
But after your 30-day challenge, let's say,
(20:02):
okay, I'm going to start working out three
days a week.
And that's what I want to keep going
forward.
I want to create balance.
So the self-discipline of doing these like
really hard, intense challenges is just helping you
to set up for a more balanced way
when that challenge is over.
So go ahead and plan that out.
And then next one is make your challenges
progression-based.
(20:24):
You don't, Rome wasn't built in a day.
So if, for example, you're having some sort
of challenge where it's about 10,000 steps,
you want to do 10,000 steps a
day, but right now you're only getting 2
,000 steps per day.
Adding 8,000 steps overnight, that's a lot.
It's a time commitment.
It's a lot on your body.
So, and that means it's more likely that
(20:46):
you're not going to be able to follow
through with that.
So set out a plan where maybe the
first week you do 4,000 steps per
day.
That's already doubling what you're doing.
That's already a huge improvement.
And then, so you're going to do 4
,000 steps the next day, or the first
week, and then you're going to do 6
,000 steps the second week, and then 8
,000 steps the third week, and then your
fourth week, you're going to get to 10
(21:07):
,000 steps.
And then once you get to 10,000
steps, maybe then you'll go ahead and create
a new plan for the following month, where
then you'll get 10,000 steps a day
for the entire month and see how long
you can carry on as a streak, or
at least doing it maybe five days a
week.
Again, you get to create the rules.
And I feel like when we realize that
you're the rule maker, that puts so much
(21:29):
power in your own hands and makes you
feel a lot stronger and a lot more
disciplined.
So break it up if you need to.
The same thing can happen if you're trying
to drink more water.
You don't have to drink a gallon of
water starting tomorrow.
You can do 3 liters, you know, 2
liters this week, 3 liters the following week,
4 liters the next week, build up to
(21:50):
it.
Same thing with exercise.
If you're not exercising any, then you have
no right in thinking that you should start
exercising 6 days a week starting tomorrow.
Start exercising 3 days a week and build
up to it slow.
It's also a lot more healthy and a
lot healthier of a mindset.
And then last but not least, I had
(22:13):
to look at my notes, you're covering my
notes, is follow through.
If you have made yourself this promise that
you recognize that you need to make a
change, then stop letting your excuses become stronger
than your why.
Don't let your brain tell you, you can't
do something.
You have your plan, you have it laid
out in front of you, you have some
(22:33):
way of tracking it or you have an
accountability partner.
Maybe you have a coach, which is awesome.
If you want some online training help, if
it's fitness or nutrition related, reach out to
me.
I have that covered.
I can help you with that.
But follow through with what it is that
you want to accomplish because the longer you
say, I want to do this, and then
you only put it out there for two
(22:54):
to three days, the more you start putting
yourself in this fixed mindset of thinking, I
can't do this.
Once you set your plan, once you have
it laid out, go ahead and follow through
with it.
Don't make yourself feel weaker than you need
to.
Let's help build yourself up and make yourself
feel stronger.
That's what these discipline challenges are all about,
(23:15):
to prove to yourself that you're capable of
more than you give yourself credit for.
Does that sound good?
So follow through with me.
I'm going to be tracking a little bit
more of this now that I've talked about
it here on the Film is Weekly podcast.
I'll share more about our discipline challenges over
on Instagram.
I'll make sure to put everything down in
the show notes so that you can keep
up with it.
(23:35):
And if you have any questions, I'd love
to hear.
And if you are going to give yourself
some sort of challenge, what is it?
And if you have a question about that
challenge, if you're like, I want to do
this, but I'm not sure how to lay
it out, feel free to leave it down.
If you're watching this on YouTube down in
the notes, I'll give you some thoughts or
feel free to reach out to me.
Kindle at fitwomensweekly.com.
(23:56):
Shoot your questions to me.
Lay out what it is that you want
to accomplish.
I'll give you all of my thoughts so
that you can be as successful as possible.
And again, if you need accountability partner, if
you need a coach to help you get
through this, reach out.
We can chitchat together and see what it
is that we can do to work together
to make you hit your goals and feel
like you are a disciplined queen.
(24:17):
Yes, yes.
And then last but not least, help do
me a favor.
Subscribe to the podcast no matter whether you're
watching this on YouTube or listening to it
over on your favorite platform.
It really does make a huge difference in
letting other people become part of our fit
family.
So thanks for listening, you guys.
I will talk to you soon.
Bye.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) What's up, guys?
Welcome to a brand new episode of the
Fit Women's Weekly Podcast.
How's life going for you?
Have you been hitting your fitness goals that
you're setting for yourself?
Are you sticking with your nutrition habits that
you feel make you feel the best that
you possibly can?
If not, then this episode is for you.
If you are somebody that is continuously telling
yourself, I need accountability, I need more self
(00:21):
-discipline, I need to be more motivated to
hit my goals, then buckle up because I'm
going to share with you the six secrets
to becoming a more disciplined person.
And the reason that this is on my
mind right now is because I'm in the
middle of a disciplined challenge with my husband.
Every couple of months, or I'd say every
couple, like a couple of times per year,
(00:42):
we will purposely give ourselves some sort of
30 to 60 day challenge.
Not necessarily because I want to see these
amazing results of my body, but more so
we kind of find ourselves letting go of
our discipline, kind of letting our motivation go
towards the sidelines and just slipping into some
(01:04):
bad habits.
So we do these discipline challenges to kind
of bring ourselves back to center and remind
ourselves we can do hard things.
At the beginning of the year, we did
a 30 day carnivore challenge.
And again, we also do these not to
see how our bodies change, but for the
discipline purpose to help build discipline and to
(01:24):
just to see how our body reacts when
we change certain things in our life.
So we've done the carnivore challenge earlier this
year.
We have gone 30 days with no alcohol
at another time.
And then this month, for me personally, I
am doing a 30 day no sourdough challenge,
which I know sounds crazy.
A lot of my friends are like, why
are you giving up something that's actually good
(01:45):
for you?
And it's simply the fact of practicing self
discipline because that will then roll over to
other areas of my life.
But I'm also doing it because I'm supporting
my husband.
So my husband is somebody who drinks a
little bit more than I do for sure.
He gets into the habit where at the
end of the day, it's been a stressful
(02:05):
day.
He will go and pick up a bottle
of wine and have a couple of glasses.
And then after a while, he just realizes
like, you know, I'm waking up sluggish.
This is becoming like a daily habit where
I'm craving a glass of wine and it's
becoming a actual habit, you know, where you're
like, you're just expecting it when you get
home.
So when he starts to get into that,
that mindset where every day it's like, I
(02:27):
want a glass of wine.
That's when he'll kind of say, you know
what?
I need to pull myself away from it.
And I need to take this out because
I know that this isn't the lifestyle that
I should be leading every single day.
So we're all about having a couple of
glasses of wine or a cocktail or two
during the week.
But when it becomes something that you're craving
every day, that's when he kind of takes
(02:49):
a step back and goes, all right.
I need to do a no alcohol month
just to clean myself up so that I
can move forward with a more realistic habit
that is healthier for me, where you're only
drinking a glass or two on the weekends.
So when he wanted to do this, I'm
always 100% supportive.
I am personally not a big drinker at
(03:09):
all.
So at first when he said this, I
was like, yeah, I'll do it with you
because if he's not drinking, I am not
going to drink.
I'm not the type of person that will
go buy a bottle of wine for myself
on a Friday night.
If it's not in the house, I'm not
going to do it.
Or even if it is in the house,
I won't do it by myself.
That's just how my mentality is.
So at first I was all on board
and he was like, cool.
(03:30):
And then after a couple of days, Dan
looked at me and was like, you know
what?
This isn't a challenge for you.
You know, this is a challenge for me
and it would make, you know, I think
that if you're going to do this, do
something that will challenge you.
And as many of you know, if you
follow me on Instagram or any form of
social media, over the past couple of months,
I've really gotten into sourdough making.
(03:51):
I love the process of making it.
I love the ritual part of it.
I love the pride and being like, oh
my gosh, I'm putting together like three ingredients
and this beautiful loaf comes out.
And also the creativity that goes into making
different loaves.
I actually just made a lemon poppy seed
loaf.
Very, very good.
But anyways, and that's also become part of
(04:14):
my diet every single day.
I look forward to a piece of sourdough.
So just in order to build that discipline
and give myself a challenge because I've got
about three different types of loaves in my
fridge right now, I decided that I would
give up sourdough bread for the month.
Not because sourdough is bad for you.
It is not, but because that is a
challenge for me.
(04:34):
And here's the thing that I love about
discipline challenges is it proves to you that
you are capable of doing hard things, whether
that is small or big.
And we're going to talk about that in
this short little episode today.
So first off, what actually is self-discipline?
Well, according to the good old Dr. Google,
(04:56):
it is the ability to control one's feelings
and overcome one's weaknesses.
The ability to pursue what one thinks is
right despite temptations to abandon it.
So basically I want to, I'm going to
be tempted with sourdough, but I'm going to
abandon it.
And my husband is giving up alcohol for
the month.
(05:16):
I've also got a couple of friends and
clients with Filmmons Weekly who are going to
join us on this.
We're not going to join us.
They are joining us.
We are nine days into this challenge right
now.
And they, a lot of people are giving
up sugar, giving up alcohol.
And some people are adding.
So you don't always have to take away
something for some sort of discipline challenge.
You can also add things in, drink more
(05:37):
water, get more steps in, exercise consistently.
So let's quickly talk about why they, I
think that they are important, right?
Despite things like 75 hard, I'm actually not
a big fan of something like that.
And we'll talk about that in a second.
I am a big fan obviously of these
kind of challenges, or I wouldn't do it
as often as I do.
(05:59):
One, it gives yourself a reset.
Two, it helps you realize that you are
stronger than you know.
Three, it helps if you are able to
stick to it.
Two, give yourself a little bit of grace.
And four, it helps you move forward knowing,
hey, I did that so I can do
this moving forward or helps you balance out
life a little bit more.
I don't expect Dan to give up alcohol
(06:21):
from here on out.
If he does for a lifestyle, that's great.
But this is going to help him to
just kind of reset, get himself more on
a healthier habit where he's not wanting to
drink every night.
Once this is over, perhaps he can just
stick to like a Friday and a Saturday
night, whatever he wants to do.
But he now realizes the power that he
(06:42):
has to make those decisions versus the habit
that he's created, which makes it feel like
that has all of the power.
So if you're somebody that is wanting to
just kind of take control of your life
and to realize that you have the discipline
to be able to do that, I think
that that's really important that everybody should.
But first, obviously choose what kind of discipline
(07:03):
challenge you want to do.
There's so many different types.
A couple of good ones when it comes
to the fitness and health space is waking
up early, waking up at 5 a.m.
as a discipline.
I have people all the time that are
like, man, I wish I could get my
workouts in.
I just don't have the time of day.
Well, if they would set their alarm for
an hour earlier, you could.
But it's so easy because they're in the
(07:24):
habit of waking up at, let's say, 7
a.m. They'll say, I am just not
a morning person.
I have set the alarm for 5 a
.m. and I just can't do it.
That is your mind telling you you can't.
But in reality, you might actually be able
to do it.
Meditating first thing, meditating for 10 minutes, that
is a discipline challenge.
Can you wake up and meditate every 10
(07:44):
minutes?
If you are for 10 minutes every day,
reading maybe might be a challenge for you.
Maybe you want to become a better reader,
but again, you don't have the time.
Can you read for 10 minutes at bedtime?
Shut the TV off, read in the morning
before you get in the shower, taking cold
showers, getting a certain amount of steps per
(08:05):
day, getting a set number of workouts in
per week, no alcohol, cutting out added sugar,
cutting out processed foods, for example.
Or, like me, you're just joining somebody, and
what's something that's hard in your life, or
not necessarily hard in your life, but something
(08:26):
that is in your life consistently, that would
be difficult for you to take out, that's
not going to hurt you if you take
it out.
Again, just to prove to yourself that you
are capable of doing that.
So once you do that, then it is
time to actually start building your discipline and
working on it.
So what are the secrets to actually make
that happen?
Well, there are seven.
I think I accidentally said in the intro
(08:47):
that there are six, but there are actually
seven tips that I'm going to offer you
in order to build your self-discipline.
Number one, know your weaknesses and have a
growth not fixed mindset.
This is so important to have.
Going back to how I was talking about
how some people say they just can't wake
up in the morning, that is a fixed
(09:07):
mindset.
In your mind, that is you telling yourself
you cannot change.
Whereas if you recognize the weaknesses that you
have, for example, Dan with his wine, he
has the ability to have a growth mindset
and say, right now, this is where I
am, but I'm acknowledging my weakness and I
want to change.
So having a growth mindset means that you're
(09:27):
open to this idea of learning more and
changing the actions that you hold right now.
You are not stuck.
People are very pliable.
You can change who you are from one
day to the next, but it does take
some practice and you have to be open
to the idea.
People with a fixed mindset say that this
is who I am and this is who
I always will be.
That is not the way to be the
(09:48):
best human that you can be.
You got to let go of that idea.
No one should be stuck in this fixed
mindset.
Or if you, for example, going back, this
is actually a fantastic book as well.
I think it's called Fixed Mindset.
I don't remember, but everybody should read it
and I'll make sure to tag it in
the show notes where it's kind of people
that grow up being like, I'm not good
(10:10):
at math, right?
Well, if you continuously say you're not good
at math, you're never going to be good
at math.
Whereas if you say, I'm not good at
math, but I'm going to get a tutor.
I'm going to start studying 10 minutes each
day.
Suddenly, you become better at math, right?
You're getting rid of this idea that you're
stuck in this position and the same thing
happens with anything as you get older.
(10:32):
If you're somebody that's always suffering and saying,
I don't have self-discipline, then you're going
to go through life thinking that you don't
have self-discipline.
But if you're like, I don't have self
-discipline, however, I want to, so I'm going
to do a 30-day self-discipline challenge
and stick it out, then guess what?
You're building that muscle and changing it so
that all of a sudden, after 30 days,
(10:53):
you're going to have a little bit of
self-discipline, not something that you're continuously going
to have to work on.
It doesn't come naturally from the get-go,
but it can with time.
So know what your weaknesses are, know what
it is that you want to work on,
and then open yourself up to having a
growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.
Tip number two is remove your temptations.
(11:15):
Why make things harder on yourself than they
need to be?
And I think we purposely do this sometimes
to prove to ourselves that we can handle
temptation, but especially at the start of things,
why?
Why do you want to do that?
If you are trying to give up alcohol,
for example, why have a bottle of chilled
(11:35):
Chardonnay sitting in your fridge?
Get rid of it, give it to somebody,
put it someplace else, and a wine, maybe
you have like a wine rack somewhere in
your house, but don't have it where it's
so accessible to you every single day.
Yes, for some people, you know you have
it in your head of like, but by
me seeing it every day and me saying,
(11:55):
no, that gives me more power.
Okay, well, it does that, but it makes
it so much harder on yourself than it
actually needs to be.
Take those temptations and toss them away.
If you work out in your bedroom, for
example, right now, and you're trying to work
out consistently, but all you're doing is seeing
your bed, what is that telling your mind?
Your bedroom is made for relaxation and sleeping.
(12:16):
So if you're trying to build and create
a workout habit, but you're working out and
you're looking at your bed the whole time,
you might be like, oh, this sucks.
So take your weights, make some space somewhere
else in your house, maybe even get outside
and create a space that energizes you versus
a space that's naturally supposed to help bring
you down into a relaxation mode.
(12:38):
Does that make sense?
And then the last example is, if you
are trying to give up sugar for 30
days, then why do you have a pantry
full of sweet treats?
Even if it's your kids in your house,
you know, it's 30 days.
Say, hey, guys, we're going to do this
together.
Help support me, and we're all going to
feel better at the long run and then
bring in some healthier options, bring in the
berries and the fruit and things like that.
(12:59):
If that is just not possible, then at
least put those sweet treats somewhere where you're
not going every day.
Make it a designated drawer somewhere or another
cabinet that is kind of out of sight,
out of mind for you, but where it's
still accessible to other people.
Don't try to prove to yourself that you're
stronger than you are, especially at the beginning.
(13:20):
Keep things simple.
Tip number three, set your goals.
This is where I want you to actually
create your discipline challenge.
I'm going to do 30 days of X.
I'm going to go 60 days of Y.
And here's what I want you to realize
is that this is also the reminder to
have some grace with yourself.
This is why I don't like things like
(13:41):
75 hard, because with 75 hard, if you
don't know what that is, it's a 75
-day challenge where you're not supposed to eat
sugar.
I think you work out two times a
day.
You have to read at least 10 pages
of a book.
You have to take a picture of yourself
every single day.
That's more for them than you, I think,
because they want the testimonial images at the
end.
(14:02):
You have to drink a gallon of water
every single day.
That is a lot.
And if you mess up on any of
those things and don't complete it, then let's
say you've gone 50 of the 75 days.
You have to start back over at day
one.
And what does that do?
That makes people go, oh, see, I knew
I couldn't do it going back to that
fixed mindset.
(14:22):
So I'm just going to give up.
Maybe I'll try this again later, but I
failed.
Whereas if you just realize that you're human
and you're probably going to fall off the
bandwagon at some point during your challenge, even
in the slightest way, today's a new day,
tomorrow's a new day.
Next, you know, the next hour is a
(14:42):
new hour.
Start back.
Don't give up on yourself.
Just pick up where you left off and
keep going and realize that that is most
likely going to happen.
You're going to lose motivation, and the self
-discipline muscle is going to weaken from time
to time, especially the farther along you get
through the challenge.
I know in our head, we think that
as we go through it, it's going to
(15:03):
get easier when, in reality, it's actually the
opposite, especially in the middle.
When you're starting a new challenge, you're like,
yes, I can do this.
I'm so motivated.
You're excited, right?
You want to see how you're going to
feel.
And then with time, after about week two
or week three, that's when that newness wears
off and the motivation starts to wax and
wean, and that's where you're 100% relying
(15:25):
on your self-discipline to keep yourself going.
And it's really easy to say, if I
mess up, then I fail.
It's also really easy to say, wow, I've
made it 20 of the 30 days.
That's good enough.
What's good enough is actually following through.
And this also goes to show that things
like this is an example of type two
fun, where during the actual challenge, you're like,
(15:48):
this kind of sucks.
This is boring.
I'm not doing the normal fun things that
I normally do.
Let's admit it.
Cookies and cake, if that's what you're trying
to give up, those are really delicious things.
However, at the end of it, you get
to say, boom, I did it.
And you feel proud of yourself.
(16:08):
You feel happy of yourself.
And that's where the type two fun comes
in.
So set specific challenges for yourself and realize
that you're not going to be perfect.
But don't let your imperfections stop you from
carrying on.
And if you want to, you can absolutely
add to it.
So let's say if you do mess up
one day, if just in your mind, it
makes you feel better, that once you get
(16:29):
to 30 days to go for 31 days
because that one mess up, that's fine.
You get to create the rules.
No one's going to knock at your door
and say, knock, knock, knock, you failed.
So take that pressure away and do what
makes you feel proud of yourself.
Number four, have some sort of accountability tracking.
Whenever I'm doing some sort of challenge like
this, I either keep it in some sort
(16:50):
of notebook where I can write down day
one, day two, day three.
And something like, I actually like to use
the graph paper of a moleskin because I
can write out 30 days and then I
can create my own little boxes.
And then each day that I'm successful, you
just kind of square a color in that
box.
And so it's like a checklist where it's
day one, done, day two, done, day three,
(17:13):
done, day four.
Oh, I messed up day five, done, day
six.
And so you get to see these streaks
and it's almost like a countdown.
Other things that I've done as well is
I've gotten sticky notes and I've done the
numbers in reverse.
So I'll start with day 30 and I'll
write 29, 28.
And so each day I just remove that
top piece of paper and it acts like
(17:34):
a countdown to being done with the challenge.
So that's another way to help hold me
accountable.
Another way is to have some sort of
accountability partner.
Find a friend.
Just like I am with Dan, he's giving
up alcohol.
I'm giving up my sourdough.
We're giving up two very different things, but
we're doing it together so that we can
hold each other accountable.
Last night, he actually got a raise at
(17:55):
work and got a little bit of a
bonus, so he wanted to celebrate.
And of course the first thing was like,
we need champagne.
And I was like, no, no, no.
Let's not do it that way.
But what is something so fun that we
can acknowledge it that doesn't revolve around alcohol?
So I went to the grocery store and
I picked us up some kombuchas and I
poured them into wine glasses and that's what
we had.
(18:15):
But we had that teamwork going on to
help where it has had he been by
himself.
It would have been very, very easy to
just be like, it's just one night, you
know, I'm going to do it this way.
So have some sort of accountability and some
sort of way to track your progress.
It's going to help hold you accountable throughout
the entire process.
Number five, have a plan for when the
(18:37):
initial challenge is actually over.
Another reason that I don't like things like
75 Heart is because when the 75-day
challenge is over or something like Whole30, which
I actually do like Whole30 if you don't
go about it like this, is that when
it's over, you celebrate and then you're like,
yes, I did 75 days of all these
crazy things or 30 days of all of
(18:57):
this amazing nutrition stuff.
Let's go celebrate.
And then you celebrate with all the vices
that you just tried to give up, and
you go right back into your old habits.
And then what's the point of everything?
So have some sort of plan for once
your challenge is over.
For Dan, for example, once he's finished with
30 days of completely no alcohol, he plans
(19:18):
on just going to have wine on Fridays
and Saturdays.
I don't have a plan with sourdough.
I feel like I have a pretty basic
balance of it.
I'm not eating a loaf of bread every
single day.
A loaf of bread generally takes me about
two weeks to eat.
It's just a little slice here and there.
But had it been something that I was
overindulging in, then, yes, I would have some
sort of plan of like, okay, I'm eating
(19:40):
an entire loaf a day.
Let's do it where I have just, you
know, I don't know, four ounces of like
a wait-out slice.
Something to help keep me balanced with it
if you are exercising every single day.
That's not something that I would condone and
something that I would say that you should
be doing.
But after your 30-day challenge, let's say,
(20:02):
okay, I'm going to start working out three
days a week.
And that's what I want to keep going
forward.
I want to create balance.
So the self-discipline of doing these like
really hard, intense challenges is just helping you
to set up for a more balanced way
when that challenge is over.
So go ahead and plan that out.
And then next one is make your challenges
progression-based.
(20:24):
You don't, Rome wasn't built in a day.
So if, for example, you're having some sort
of challenge where it's about 10,000 steps,
you want to do 10,000 steps a
day, but right now you're only getting 2
,000 steps per day.
Adding 8,000 steps overnight, that's a lot.
It's a time commitment.
It's a lot on your body.
So, and that means it's more likely that
(20:46):
you're not going to be able to follow
through with that.
So set out a plan where maybe the
first week you do 4,000 steps per
day.
That's already doubling what you're doing.
That's already a huge improvement.
And then, so you're going to do 4
,000 steps the next day, or the first
week, and then you're going to do 6
,000 steps the second week, and then 8
,000 steps the third week, and then your
fourth week, you're going to get to 10
(21:07):
,000 steps.
And then once you get to 10,000
steps, maybe then you'll go ahead and create
a new plan for the following month, where
then you'll get 10,000 steps a day
for the entire month and see how long
you can carry on as a streak, or
at least doing it maybe five days a
week.
Again, you get to create the rules.
And I feel like when we realize that
you're the rule maker, that puts so much
(21:29):
power in your own hands and makes you
feel a lot stronger and a lot more
disciplined.
So break it up if you need to.
The same thing can happen if you're trying
to drink more water.
You don't have to drink a gallon of
water starting tomorrow.
You can do 3 liters, you know, 2
liters this week, 3 liters the following week,
4 liters the next week, build up to
(21:50):
it.
Same thing with exercise.
If you're not exercising any, then you have
no right in thinking that you should start
exercising 6 days a week starting tomorrow.
Start exercising 3 days a week and build
up to it slow.
It's also a lot more healthy and a
lot healthier of a mindset.
And then last but not least, I had
(22:13):
to look at my notes, you're covering my
notes, is follow through.
If you have made yourself this promise that
you recognize that you need to make a
change, then stop letting your excuses become stronger
than your why.
Don't let your brain tell you, you can't
do something.
You have your plan, you have it laid
out in front of you, you have some
(22:33):
way of tracking it or you have an
accountability partner.
Maybe you have a coach, which is awesome.
If you want some online training help, if
it's fitness or nutrition related, reach out to
me.
I have that covered.
I can help you with that.
But follow through with what it is that
you want to accomplish because the longer you
say, I want to do this, and then
you only put it out there for two
(22:54):
to three days, the more you start putting
yourself in this fixed mindset of thinking, I
can't do this.
Once you set your plan, once you have
it laid out, go ahead and follow through
with it.
Don't make yourself feel weaker than you need
to.
Let's help build yourself up and make yourself
feel stronger.
That's what these discipline challenges are all about,
(23:15):
to prove to yourself that you're capable of
more than you give yourself credit for.
Does that sound good?
So follow through with me.
I'm going to be tracking a little bit
more of this now that I've talked about
it here on the Film is Weekly podcast.
I'll share more about our discipline challenges over
on Instagram.
I'll make sure to put everything down in
the show notes so that you can keep
up with it.
(23:35):
And if you have any questions, I'd love
to hear.
And if you are going to give yourself
some sort of challenge, what is it?
And if you have a question about that
challenge, if you're like, I want to do
this, but I'm not sure how to lay
it out, feel free to leave it down.
If you're watching this on YouTube down in
the notes, I'll give you some thoughts or
feel free to reach out to me.
Kindle at fitwomensweekly.com.
(23:56):
Shoot your questions to me.
Lay out what it is that you want
to accomplish.
I'll give you all of my thoughts so
that you can be as successful as possible.
And again, if you need accountability partner, if
you need a coach to help you get
through this, reach out.
We can chitchat together and see what it
is that we can do to work together
to make you hit your goals and feel
like you are a disciplined queen.
(24:17):
Yes, yes.
And then last but not least, help do
me a favor.
Subscribe to the podcast no matter whether you're
watching this on YouTube or listening to it
over on your favorite platform.
It really does make a huge difference in
letting other people become part of our fit
family.
So thanks for listening, you guys.
I will talk to you soon.
Bye.
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