“Dare to do that action. Dare to go for what you've been holding yourself back. Because passion never comes like a scream. It's always a whisper.” Besa Martini
I am thrilled to share this deeply meaningful episode of Girl Out of Order with you — one of the conversations I lean on the most when I think about growth, identity, grit, and what it means to get unstuck from old stories. I sit down with my coach, Master Coach Besa Martini (of Tony Robbins fame), who has transformed my life in ways I never saw coming. Together we explore how she moved across continents, wrestled with identity, leaned into possibility, and how we women can do the same — especially when our “shitty committee” (you know what I mean) is telling us to shrink.
In this episode, we dive into: the power of story (the ones we tell ourselves vs. the ones we can write), the triad — physiology, focus, language — as a tool for becoming the person you want to be before the evidence is there, and the courage to fail, to invest, to believe. If your heart has ever been saying, “there’s got to be more,” this episode is a love letter for you.
Timeline Highlights
TimeMoment & Why It Matters
[6:43] | Besa shares what it was like arriving in America 23 years ago, and how she navigated being an immigrant, having an accent, and holding onto her roots while daring to grow.
[12:30] | She describes the moment she decided “things have to change” — how witnessing suffering led her to re-evaluate what she was accepting in her own life.
[20:45] | A powerful reframing: certainty doesn’t precede action — it’s action that creates certainty. How she moved forward even without knowing the full roadmap.
[25:00] | The triad (physiology / focus / language): how we’re constantly choosing who we show up as, moment by moment; what changes when we shift those three things.
[36:00] | Besa speaks directly to the strong, fiery women (Enneagram 8s, Dynamo DISC, etc.) who have been told they are “too much” — and what it really takes to reclaim and embody your power.
[46:30] | Sowing seeds, patience, momentum: the metaphors that remind us growth is messy, slow, full of “no visible results,” yet unfolding behind what we see.
[50:40] | For the woman at the threshold — the one grieving an emptied nest, unsure who she is without her “roles” — Besa offers the first little actions to step toward possibility.
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