I Am A Criminal

It’s the 25th episode! Zoe opens up about the reality of traveling with a DUI—what happens at the border, how the paperwork works, and what it feels like navigating sobriety alongside all that stress. Heather and Zoe also get into the recent flight attendant strike, the wild fact that pilots aren’t allowed to go to therapy, and what that says about mental health in high-pressure jobs.

Plus: they announce their very first live podcast recording at ZERO Bar in Cabbagetown on September 6th at 8pm. RSVP: https://simpli.events/e/girlundrunk

This episode is available with timestamps and extras on Youtube here. 

Grab your NA bevvie and hit subscribe. Episodes every Wednesday. Proud of you! 💕

Episode Transcript

Heather (00:00):
This podcast covers sensitive topics that may be
difficult for some listeners.
Please take care while listening.

Zoe (00:26):
Hi Zoe.
Hi, Heather.
How are you?
I'm good.
Duh.
How's

Heather (00:31):
your mental?
My mental is good.
Welcome back to Girland Drunk, everything.
Oh, hey, Undrunkies.
I'm Heather.
That's Zoe.
That's Heather.
I'm Zoe.
Yeah.
If you, if you, uh, get us confusedsometimes, it's fine because we're

Zoe (00:42):
basically

Heather (00:42):
the same person.
We both have our periods

Zoe (00:44):
right now.
We do.
We both had our morning shit together.
Not together, but, but almost.
But basically, but basically

Heather (00:52):
you knew, you knew about mine.
I knew about yours.
Yep.
We got a little little Eddie here today.
Today I'm doing thislittle Collins Collins.
Collins Collins, which for sure I drankthe alcoholic version when I was a
drinker, but I don't remember like howit's just Collins, not a Tom Collins.
I know you know.
Well, because maybe it'sa little more feminine.
Maybe it's like a Tina Collins.

(01:13):
Yeah.
I'm gonna try.
I'm doing the

Zoe (01:14):
Mez Kalita.

Heather (01:16):
Alright.
8:00 AM Here we go

Zoe (01:19):
crack.
We're doing an early morningpod today because DJ does

Heather (01:23):
this count as the clap because which I always forget to do the clap.
I clapped.
Oh, you did?
You didn't hear me clap.
You're so on it.
Yes.
You're the smartestgirl in the whole world.
Okay.
I'm nervous about this one.

Zoe (01:39):
My pinky went way up when I sipped that.
Oh, it went like,

Heather (01:42):
woo.
I think mine did too.
Okay.
You know

Zoe (01:44):
what?
Try that.
I think you'll like it.
Mine is such like a mouthfeel.
There's a lot going on in a good way.
It's soy.
She doesn't like this.
The spicy, I think it's,is it spicy to you?
Is it spicy or too smoky?

(02:05):
It's too smoky.
Okay.
I definitely do like this one better.
Yeah.
This one was a hit at my party because myfriends Mary Ellen and Arianne loved it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're very like European smoky.
Yeah.
They like the of it all.

Heather (02:21):
Yes.
I need to put this back in my

Zoe (02:22):
mouth.
I think JJ liked that one too.
I do like that one better,

Heather (02:26):
but

Zoe (02:27):
yeah.

Heather (02:27):
Yeah.
I'm so sensitive to things.
Edna's.
If you wanna try Edna's cocktails,go over to edna's cocktails.com.
Code edna's.
Ten four, 10% off.
Let's get mocktails going.
It's Edna.
It's time for fall.
It's time to get cozy with a fake gin.
Fuck yes.
Yeah.
Fake gin and memories with your friends.

Zoe (02:48):
Love it.
It's all I want.
Oh, ZZA Bear.
How are you?
Doozen?
How am I doing?
I'm good.
Yesterday was a huge day.
We did so many things.
Yo,

Heather (02:57):
yesterday, the past like 48 hours.

Zoe (03:00):
Yeah, it was insane.
Insane,

Heather (03:02):
insane.
I don't understand.
We've spent so much time together.
Yeah.
How do you, we've

Zoe (03:06):
seen each other every single day for the past five days.
Is that true?
Well, we saw each other Friday,Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Now it's Tuesday.
What was Friday?
How we counted.
Oh, we recorded Friday.
We recorded Friday.
What did we do Saturday?
We went to the cottage on Saturday night.
We spent all day at the cottage on Sunday.
Oh my God.

(03:26):
We spent all day yesterday together.
Yeah.
And now we're recordingand it's Tuesday morning.
I, you know what?
And then I'm gonna see heragain tomorrow at boxing.
But then I won't see youagain for like a week.

Heather (03:38):
Yeah.
That's gonna be weird.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
That was a long time to spend together.
I feel like I don't dothat usually with people.
Mm-hmm.
It makes me nervous, but Ifeel like you're so fine.
That was great.
Yeah.
I loved it.
You didn't even realize it was that long.
No, I didn't.
I like you more now.
Yay.
I think that was a really fun weekend.
I was a little nervous.
I was like, oh my God.
Driving to the cottage.
It's three hours.

(03:59):
We're gonna be there for like a day.
Mm-hmm.
That was the most fucking fun.

Zoe (04:02):
Yeah, it was.
I thought it was gonna be like stressfultoo, and like not enough time, but it was.
Obviously I would've loved to stay longer.
Mm-hmm.
But it was, it didn't feel too short.
No, it was great.

Heather (04:12):
It was great.
And I, we went paddle boarding around.
We drank so many mocktails.
We had hot dogs.
I threw a

Zoe (04:19):
mocktail, mocktail down my throat.
A mocktail down.
Your throat went everywhere.
Oh yeah.
We

Heather (04:26):
were, we were, shit.
You banged a can on your head.
I did.
I crushed a can on my head.
Like a real camp girl.
Yeah.
It's funny.
You're so camp.
I'm so camp I, but did yousee any animals out there?
No, but I killed a spider this morning.
Tell me everything about

Zoe (04:42):
it.
Well, how big was it?
As big as the one that was on my dock?
No, the one on yourdock was actually, yeah.
The size of my hand.
It was really scary.
It was huge.

Heather (04:48):
Yeah.

Zoe (04:49):
The one I found today was just like a tiny little boy, but I was.
How did you get in here?
I like was grabbing mypants from the floor.
'cause I did wear these yesterday.
Um, and then the spider like ran

Heather (05:02):
out of them.
It is really crazy when aspider appears and you're like.
Like sometimes like I've had a spider justlike on my pillow before, and I'm like,

Zoe (05:11):
yeah,

Heather (05:12):
you've just, I just try not to

Zoe (05:13):
think about it too much.
I'm like, okay, the spider ishere, and now I killed the spider
and I flush it down the toilet.
Now it's gone and therewill be no more spiders.

Heather (05:19):
Last night, oh my God, you were in my dream last night.
Oh my God.
Yay.
That's how much

Zoe (05:23):
we're spending

Heather (05:24):
time together.
Seriously.
But it was so weird.
So I, the sound of like, you knowwhen you turn on the, the gas stove
and it's like tick, tick, tick, tick.
That kept fucking happening in my dream.
Like I kept interesting hearing it allfucking night and I kept waking up.
I slept like every hour I was waking up.
What the heck is that sound?
And in my dream, you were downstairsturning on the, the stove.

(05:44):
Really?
I like Zoe's cooking eggs.
I was fucking with you.
No, you were like, in my dream youwere like cooking eggs or something.
Yeah.
You were doing something.
Yeah.
But it just, I was like, oh my god, Zoe.
It's not turning on like it'snot working, it's just ticking.
Yeah.
But I think there wasa cricket in my house.
I think that's making that sound.
Yes.
'cause it was like, and then it wouldlike, and then I would sit up and
flash my flashlight and it would stop.

(06:06):
And I'm like, there'sa fucking bug in here.
There's a goddamn cricket.
And he followed me back fromthe woods, from the park.
It pissed me off.
I couldn't find him.

Zoe (06:15):
But we're not a hundred percent sure if it was your dream
or if it's a real life thing.
No.
'cause

Heather (06:19):
then I was awake and I was hearing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So maybe interesting.
Maybe there's a bombin my house somewhere.
I'm scared for you now.
Didn't, well, well, let me knowif you hear it again tonight.
Well, that's what I was gonna say, beinglike at the cottage in the country,
it's like, if there's a bug in thehouse, I'm like, oh, that's just an
indoors outdoors kind of situation.
Yeah.
But when I'm here in myivory tower, I'm like.

(06:40):
Who invited you?

Zoe (06:41):
Yeah.
Well it also freaks me out too.
'cause I'm like on the 39th floor.
So I'm like, how did thisthing even get up here?

Heather (06:47):
I know.
Well, he followed you.

Zoe (06:49):
He was in your pants all night.
That's, he wasn't in my pants all night.
I'm not gonna think he was wanna say that.
I don't want that to be true.
I'm not gonna go there.
But

Heather (06:57):
it is crazy.
It's like, does a spidercrawl in from the outdoors?
And then he, he makes him, and thenhe's like, oh, it's warm in here.
And then he just for it takes solong that he gets to the elevator.
Gets into the elevator.
Yeah.
With a group of unsuspecting strangers.
Takes it up to the 39th floorand says What a nice stop.
No, but he must

Zoe (07:13):
be so confused when he gets up there.
He is like, where's all my friends?

Heather (07:16):
Well, that's how I feel like when you have a fly in your car.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh my God, I'mtaking you away from everybody.
Exactly.
Like, we're going on, we're goingto like, I remember going to Florida
with my parents and there beinga spider in the car and I'm like,
what are we, you're an expat babe.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Sorry.
We took you, sorry we took you but me.
We never kidnapped you.
Maybe they were having a bad life and itwas actually the best situation possible.

(07:37):
Let's say that like there's a dog missingfrom the park right now and he keeps
getting spotted near the train tracks.
And I'm like, yeah, he totally,really, he's probably on there.

Zoe (07:46):
Yeah.
No, I'm, I'm good.
I am leaving for London on Thursday.
I haven't started packing at all.
Do you know what you're packing?
So Alexia has most stuff there, soif I forget something or if I need a
jacket or if I need a pair of shoesor something, I'll just borrow hers.
So that is taking the stress off a bit.

Heather (08:05):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (08:06):
I'm gonna use her hair products, her makeup, if I
need, like, I'm gonna be fine.

Heather (08:10):
Yeah.
So what kind of,

Zoe (08:11):
what kind of skincare are you bringing over?
I'm gonna bring a vitamin C, aretinol and my moisturizer face wash.
Right.
Face wash too.
Okay.
And my sunscreen.

Heather (08:22):
That's, that's all you do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's good.
And um, I guess I'm

Zoe (08:25):
probably gonna bring my mask as well.
Because I'm there for solong, my Oh, red light mask.

Heather (08:30):
Oh, are you gonna bring that to Italy too?

Zoe (08:32):
Yeah.

Heather (08:34):
Ah, yeah.
Can you take that?
Yeah, that's a

Zoe (08:36):
carry on item.
Do that.
Yeah.
I don't think I would beable to charge it in Italy.
I need to figure outthe charging situation.

Heather (08:41):
Yeah, either, either Alexia will already have a thing or

Zoe (08:45):
they're everywhere,

Heather (08:46):
you know?
Yeah.
And then you get theairport then Portugal,

Zoe (08:48):
I'm saying at Airbnbs.
So that will be a little bit hopeful.
Hopefully that goes well.
You'll

Heather (08:53):
just, well, I have one

Zoe (08:53):
I'll

Heather (08:54):
bring, I'll just give you my

Zoe (08:55):
converter.
I might need one for Portugal.
Yeah.
'cause I don't know, I don'tknow if Airbnbs will do that.
I don't know.
Um, but yeah, I am feeling good.
I'm feeling excited slash likenervous just 'cause like I haven't
started packing or anything.
Yeah.
Um, I don't think I'm gonnawash my hair till Thursday.

(09:17):
It's gonna

Heather (09:17):
be

Zoe (09:17):
slicked

Heather (09:18):
back for 48 hours.
Tell you.
That's fine.
It's fine.
That's easy.
Your hair looks great.
Slicked back.
Thank you.
I did a low today.
I like it.
I did the, I put the, got to beshit in my hair and it's still
fucking, there's nothing I can do.
Do you wet it

Zoe (09:32):
first and then put the gel in it?
Mm-hmm.
Try that.
Okay.
I wet my brush that I slick it backwith, and then I put the gel in.
Okay.

Heather (09:41):
After.
Okay.
I'll try that.
Yeah.

Zoe (09:43):
Hoy

Heather (09:44):
boy.
Hoy boy.
What a whole thing.
Um, but my mental health is good.
I feel like.
Yeah.
I feel good.
We had a really good chat yesterday.
Yeah.
We had a really good

Zoe (09:53):
meeting.
Yeah.
I feel like we're all aligned again.
Yeah.
So many things happening with the podcast.

Heather (09:59):
So many things so fast, so many things

Zoe (10:02):
so fast.

Heather (10:03):
And like the more we do, the better we get, the more like.
The better the editing gets.
Yeah.
The better.
Like the more nitpicky they can get.
Yeah.
'cause you know, and it'sreally, it's really good.
I mean, it's all good things.
Yeah.
It just,

Zoe (10:16):
I love our little community.
I know.
I do too, by the way.
Should we tell them the news?
In case everyone wants to come.
I was like, what News

Heather (10:26):
course.

Zoe (10:27):
Okay.
On date of September

Heather (10:29):
6th Uhhuh

Zoe (10:31):
at eight o'clock.
Get there for seven 30 though, guys.

Heather (10:34):
Pm.

Zoe (10:34):
Pm Don't get crazy.
Don't get there early.
Oh my

Heather (10:37):
God.
We're doing a live recording,a live podcast recording
at zero bar in Cabbagetown.
Yes.

Zoe (10:44):
So

Heather (10:44):
we're gonna be talking to

Zoe (10:44):
Gail, the owner.
Mm-hmm.
And then we're gonna open itup to questions or if you just
wanna talk to us for a bit.
Yeah.
Just wanna

Heather (10:52):
chill out.
Hmm.
Come.
Yeah.
You don't have to, you don'thave to like speak on the pod.
You don't have to ask any questions,but We'll, we'll be, there you come.
You just wanna meet us

Zoe (11:00):
after.
Yeah.
If you wanna walk

Heather (11:02):
around.
Zero bar.
It's really cool.
Just wanna a mocktail.
They have everything.
It's such a good,literally have everything.
It's a cool bottle shop.
They have like wine, liquor,everything, but all non-alcoholic.
Yeah, it's great.
Um, but yeah, that'll be really exciting.
So we're doing that.
Yeah, that's, I'm really

Zoe (11:14):
excited.
I don't know what to expect really,but it's gonna be good vibes.
Overall, so excited.
It's gonna be, I'm excited.
Be It's always good vibes with Gail.
Really,

Heather (11:21):
truly always good vibes with Gail.
Like that person is just ready to go.
I'm excited.
I trust her with my life.
I do too.
I do think that if I did that itwould a, it would be wild ride.

Zoe (11:33):
Would be a ride.
Yeah.
But like, I'm here for that.
I want a wildlife.
I wanna live wild and on theedge and being sober, you know?

Heather (11:40):
Yeah.
I kind of do too.
But I also love a curfew.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, can we be wild with a curfew?
I think Yale gets to bed early.

Zoe (11:50):
I

Heather (11:50):
can't see her being

Zoe (11:51):
out late,

Heather (11:51):
but she seems like the type of person that's like, yeah,
I go to bed early, like 2:00 AM.
Yeah.
You know.
What would you rate your mental

Zoe (11:58):
like a six, I guess.
I think I'm gonna stay at a six too.
I think I was a six LA last week.
I think I'm a six this week.

Heather (12:05):
Yeah.
I mean, I, I, I'm good.
Like we had a really fun few days.
Yeah.
But like, and like I can besuper happy and thrilled.
Mm-hmm.
But my mental, yeah, my

Zoe (12:14):
mental's at a six, I think.
Yeah.
I

Heather (12:16):
think it maybe

Zoe (12:17):
a six five.
Just still juggling and it's,I can't see like clarity.

Heather (12:22):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (12:22):
So it's just like, way over what, getting to London.
I'm like, there's so much to do.
Yeah.
It is, it's a lot of unknowns too.
That's, I think what it is.
It's like when I know everything's setup, I'm, I'm okay, but there's just
so much to do still, so it's fine.

Heather (12:40):
Yeah.
We went to get our nails done yesterdayand had a little day with our well
Zoe's friend and my new friend Carly.
Yeah.
So cute.
So perfect.
And.
Carly was telling you a storyabout an Uber experience Yeah.
That she had after listeningto our Uber podcast.

Zoe (12:56):
Yeah.

Heather (12:56):
So

Zoe (12:57):
last week was our Uber episode.
Mm-hmm.
And she texted me on like maybeSaturday saying that she called an
Uber and she was waiting for it.
This guy comes out of his car andsays, Hey, I like I'm your Uber.
Like, get in.
And she was like, oh no, you're not.
Like the license plate doesn't matchand you're not the person on the app.

(13:17):
And he's like, yeah, but itjust hasn't switched over yet.
Like, it's taking forever.
And Kylie's like, well, no,I'm not getting into your car.
And he was like, no, come on.
Like it's fine.
And she said, no, I'm not.
Like, I'm just gonnawait for the next one.
And I don't know if she would've, sheprobably would've still done that, even
if she didn't just listen to our episodebefore, because she is a very safe girl.

Heather (13:39):
Yeah.

Zoe (13:39):
But it's just crazy how she listened to the episode and then
the next day that happens to her.
Yeah.

Heather (13:46):
Yeah.
It's really

Zoe (13:47):
scary.
'Heather: cause I, I, it is, you can't, and everyone we've like,
kind of like said that to, has beenlike, oh yeah, I've done that too.
Yeah.
Like, I've gotten into a carthat didn't match the same,
and I, I've called them out.
I was like, Hey, your thing doesn't match.
Yeah.
Because we've had, I mean, we said thislast time, but there was like a, a, like
a, a kidnapping thing going on here.
I've called.
I called him out and was like,your license plate doesn't match.

(14:08):
And he was like, oh yeah.
Like I just got a new car.
Yeah.
And it hasn't updated.
And that's what Carly saidthat her Uber driver said.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, you,you just can't drive then.
That's not on me.
Yeah.
Like that's on Uber andyou, and that's your job.
So you have to call Uber.
Mm-hmm.
And make sure that everything is likeupdated before you come and pick up girls.

(14:30):
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It is.
Because, because No, fuck you.
Like you're putting me in asituation now where I have to be
like, feel uncomfortable to say no.
Yeah.
And it is.
And now I'm fucking late.
Yeah.
And you're, you did this to me.
Mm-hmm.
You put me in this fucking situation,but then you are somehow the victim
because Uber hasn't updated it.
It's like, fuck you.
Well
it's funny 'cause she waited for another car and then she brought

(14:52):
it up to the next Uber driver.
Yeah.
And the next Uber driver waslike, yeah, no, that's weird.
Like it's good that youdidn't get into that car.

Heather (14:58):
Yeah.
And, and like, we can be like, oh yeah,no, Uber, like Uber does their best.
They like want, you know,they will be updating it.
It's like, well we alreadyknow that Uber doesn't do their
best, doesn't give a fuck Yeah.
About sexual assault.
And, and if they do, it'slike we care a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
But you can still keep driving, so No.
Yeah.
So I would just say like, if,just make sure it's matching.

(15:22):
Make sure it's matching and

Zoe (15:23):
it's not, it's just not worth it.
It's not to just be like,okay, yeah, it's fine.
I understand it's uncomfortable,but you can even say like, oh,
like I forgot something upstairs.
Like, I'm gonna get the next one.
Yeah.
I mean like, you don't need tobe like, oh, you don't match.
Like if you feel uncomfortable,like announcing that.
That's true.
She like, oh, I forgot something upstairs.
Like, I'm gonna get the next one.

Heather (15:41):
Yeah.
Or even if you're like in your condobuilding and you like look out and you
see your Uber and you're like, thatis not the F, you can just text them
and be like, doesn't match not coming.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Exactly.
Cancel, cancel.
And then before to Uber.
Uber.
And then just, Uber's usuallypretty good getting the money back.
Yeah.
Just that kind of stuff.
Just that screenshot it.
Yeah.
And say like.
This is not the right car.
Yeah.
And no, it's, it's, it's not appropriate.

(16:03):
Yeah.
It's really not appropriateto get into an unmarked car.
Like what the, the fuck,not like as anybody.
Mm-hmm.
Like as man, like, just don't, it's alsolike shocking to me that a man would be
like, oh yeah, they'll be fine with it.
Yeah, it's fine.
I'll just tell them thatlike, my car is is new.
They're just dumb little girls.
Yeah.
No, why not?

(16:23):
And like the contract that youand me sign is that I'm gonna
show up as who I say I am.
Mm-hmm.
And you're gonna show upas who you say you are.
Yeah.
And that's how it keeps both of us safe.
So, no, I'm sorry you didn'thold up your end of the bargain.
I'm not getting in your car.

Zoe (16:36):
Yeah.

Heather (16:37):
It's very serious.
Yeah.
It's fucking serious.

Zoe (16:39):
The fact that he jumped out of the car too.
Yeah.
It's just like another just red flag.
Yeah.
I don't like it.
I'm in the car.
Little girl.

Heather (16:46):
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
So your trip is coming up.
Yeah.
Very exciting.
And I guess one of the things we'vereally been talking about is your.
DUI.
Yes.
And traveling with your DUI.
Yeah.
Do you wanna explain a little bitabout what your SI situation has been?

Zoe (17:02):
Yes.
So what I got my DUI maybein like June of 2022.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then after I went toNew York and I went to Detroit.

Heather (17:17):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (17:18):
And everything was fine.
They didn't ask about my DUI,they didn't ask for fingerprints.
They didn't bring it up once.
So I was like, okay, like I'm good.
I didn't think, I wasn'tnot gonna be good.
'cause with the states, it's onlyif you get a drug charge that they
like stop you and don't let you in.
Right.
For alcohol, it's fine.
Mm-hmm.
Like, they'll let you in.

(17:39):
So, and then I was going to Renoto visit my friend and they asked
me for my fingerprints and I waslike, oh no, what's happening?
Yeah.
This was at Toronto PearsonAirport and then they pulled
me aside for second inspection.
And I was waiting inthere for like an hour.
My flight was taking offin like half an hour.

(18:00):
Like I was very scared thatI was gonna miss my flight.

Heather (18:02):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (18:02):
They said, okay, so where's your paperwork?
And I said, no one askedme to bring my paperwork.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know if they sentit to the wrong address.
I don't know where it would've gone to.
Yeah.
I said, I didn't get any paperwork.
I don't know what you're saying.
And they said, well, in the systemit says that you have a drug charge.
And I said, no, I promiseit's only an alcohol charge.

(18:24):
I'm also like, how many?
Like you're sober.
Yeah.
They obviously don't care.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and they were basically like, yeah,like you were supposed to bring paperwork.
You're not allowed to go on this flight.
I said, come on, please.
Like my flight is leaving soon.
Like, I don't know reason,I don't know what to do.
I don't freak out on the at them.
Yeah.

(18:44):
Which I would have before.
Yeah.
You know, so I was really tryingto be calm, cool, and collected.
And honestly at the end of theday, I was fine with not getting on
that flight if they didn't let me.
Okay.
Because I have to be okay withthe decisions I made before

Heather (18:58):
adapting.

Zoe (18:59):
Adapting.
I'm like, okay, if it wasn'tmeant to be, it's fine.
I don't need to go.
But I was like, like I was Yeah.
Kind of like beggingthem them come this way.
Yeah.
Like I didn't know.
I don't know if there'sanything you guys can do.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, I am a white pretty woman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So they did say yes.
They said, okay, you can go onthis flight, we cleared you.

(19:19):
Mm-hmm.
And I asked them, do I need tobring my paperwork for next time?
And they said, no, like wecleared you, you're good.
So I'm like, okay, no problem.
I tell my mom this, um, she sendsme some paperwork for just in
case for the next time I travel.
Mm-hmm.
I go to Detroit like afew months after with.
My new boyfriend and his sister,first time meeting his sister, we get

(19:40):
pulled over and we're driving, oh,we're driving instead of flying now.
And the guy goes, okay,Zoe, where's your paperwork?
And I say, okay, well the last people atthe airport didn't say I needed to bring
it, but my mom did send me something.
Let me go into the car toget my phone to show you.
Mm-hmm.
Because you're not allowed to bringyour phone into like these situations.

(20:01):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
When you get pulled in for asecond inspection, you're not
allowed to go on your phone at all.
Yeah.
So I bring them the phone andshow it to them and he goes,
oh, this is the wrong paperwork.
It doesn't say in herethat it's just alcohol.
And I'm like, oh God.
Oh God.
They don't talk to eachother, the systems.
No.
And also I had gone to.
States twice before thissituation started happening.

(20:24):
And it's because thesystem updated, which means

Heather (20:27):
Trump updated the system.
Yeah.
The systems don't talk to each other.
So like we in Canadadifferentiate alcohol and drugs.
Yeah.
They combine it.
They combine them, which bythe way, alcohol and drugs
are the same fucking thing.
Yeah.
But you still should be allowed in.
Yeah.
And like that's the crazy thing too.
It's like you got your DUI andthen no one was like, Hey, by
the way, when you travel, theseare the things you have to do.

(20:49):
Exactly.
Unless

Zoe (20:51):
I'm just a super girl and I should know these things, but I don't.
So I think there's probably lots ofpeople in my boat that are, have this.
Oh my God, I bet.
Like everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who the fuck?
Yeah.
So anyways, again, I start begginghim to let me in and like I said,
pretty white girl, they let me in.
Yeah.
But he goes, this is the lasttime that you will be let into

(21:13):
the states without your paperwork.

Heather (21:14):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (21:15):
I'm putting like a red flag on your like passport.
Like you're not allowed back.
I have one too without your paperwork one.
And I was like, yes sir. I understand.
Thank you so much.
And I go on my way.
They also take my phone and ask me forthe password and take it in the back.
And I'm like, oh, they're definitelywatching all of my porn on there.
What the fuck?
Because I have all ofmy videos back there.
Wait, can they do that?

(21:35):
I don't know.
I can They take, why didthey take your phone?
I don't know.
Ew.
I don't remember whythey took my phone also.

Heather (21:41):
That's terrifying.
Because if, like I had texted youbeing like, bring your paperwork
or Trump's gonna fuck you in theass with this big orange dick.
Literally, then what if theyarrested you for being like.
Mal Patriot?
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
Or like, what did they do?
Did they airdrop all of my shitonto someone's like computer?
Like, I don't know.
Well, they went through

Zoe (22:01):
your stuff.
They went

Heather (22:02):
through your videos for

Zoe (22:03):
sure.
They did for sure.

Heather (22:04):
A hundred percent

Zoe (22:05):
creeps.
Um, and then I was going to,where was I going recently?
In the States.
Oh, I was going to Nashville.
Oh yeah.
And I had to contact my lawyer formy paperwork, had to send her a
hundred dollars and it was good.
It says like, it says drugsand alcohol on the paperwork

(22:28):
and that drugs is crossed off.
Okay.
So I'm like, okay, that looks legit.
I bring it when I get pulledover to second inspection at
Toronto, Pearson, I bring mypaperwork and they say, oh, weird.
It doesn't say that in our system.
And I say, yeah, weird.
Yeah.
Fucking weird guys.
You keep going.
I you keep going.
Just weird.

(22:48):
And then so they scan it and theyapparently put it in like my file.
So hopefully they do not,that doesn't happen again.
I don't think they do.
But this is also like onlythe going to the states.
When I went to Costa Ricalast year, this didn't happen.
I'm very curious if they will pull measide at all to be going to London.

(23:08):
Yeah, I looked

Heather (23:09):
it

Zoe (23:09):
up,

Heather (23:09):
I'm assuming.
No, I looked it up and it just saidlike, you definitely can get in.
Yeah.
Like it's, they're not gonna stop you.
Yeah.
But just be prepared to answer questions.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
So I'm

Zoe (23:19):
definitely bringing my paperwork.
Yeah.
Obviously I would

Heather (23:21):
never travel anywhere without,

Zoe (23:23):
without it now.
Yeah.
So just bringing that and um, yeah, Iguess just being like prepared to go
into second inspection, which sucksbecause like I do need to get to the
airport earlier than everybody now.

Heather (23:35):
Yeah.
I used to do that when I would,'cause I had a visa for Boston.
Mm-hmm.
So I would have to go early.
So I was getting, I'd get.
You get pulled in every time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's scary in there.
It is fucking scary.
And they're, I hate it.
They're also not nice.
No.
And I'm like, well, yeah, you havethese like uneducated men sitting in
an isolated windowless room mm-hmm.

(23:55):
All day.
They're going nuts.

Zoe (23:56):
They're also

Heather (23:57):
like

Zoe (23:57):
making jokes to each other.
Like when I was in there, they'rejoking with each other and
just like having a good time.
Like really not caring

Heather (24:04):
about us at all.
Oh, are you fucking kidding?
Yeah.
I've been pulled over to a secondaryinspection so many times and they
treated me like I was, and ifthey're treating psycho us like
that, then like, imagine what

Zoe (24:16):
they're treating.
Like,

Heather (24:17):
oh, I've seen it.
It's, I've heard like a, a, an officerbe like, like if you can't speak English,
then how are we even gonna do this?
I'm like, first of all, sir, so fucked up.
If you wanna work for the government,maybe you should speak the one
other language that's spoken in theUnited States, which is Spanish.
It's literally not hard.
I learned it in two years for love.
Yeah.
So chill out brother.
Or like have someone therethat can talk to them.

(24:37):
Yeah.
Like I don't, they don't,but they don't want to.
Yeah.
When I, um, when I, I went onceand they, I mean, they don't
understand the visas somehow.
They don't understand the most basicsimple, like Canadian to American visa.
I honestly, it's very confusing,

Zoe (24:52):
all of it.
Oh yeah.

Heather (24:53):
But I wasn't confused, but it's their job to know.
But I wasn't confused.
Yeah.
I had my full binder.
I know.
Exact I know everything.
Yeah.
About my specific situation.
And they were joking with eachother, being like, I don't
know, should we let her in?
And I'm like, it's crazy.
Who the fuck are you talking about?
Crazy because Yeah, sir. Catch me outside.
That's why.
And like, learning this as addicts of likebeing adaptive and being like just kind.

(25:17):
Yeah.
Because if you catch someoneon a fucking bad day and they
just wanna fuck someone Yeah.
They're not gonna let you in.

Zoe (25:23):
Exactly.
And that's the thing, like I was, whenthat first happened, when I was trying
to go to Reno, I was really proud ofmyself for not like, crying hysterically.
Mm-hmm.
Or like being like very like loudand visually combative, upset.
Like, yeah.
I was trying to stay as calm andcool and collected as I could.

(25:44):
Like I was thinking justlike of my sponsor and like
all the work that I've done.

Heather (25:48):
Yeah.
Good.
And

Zoe (25:48):
I was proud that I didn't, 'cause I, I would've easily done that before.
Oh yeah.
So it's just like cool to.
To have like a different side of me.
But yeah, it all worked out.
Yeah.
Which I'm very thankful it did.
But you're like, be careful.
Yeah.
It's always gonna be a littlebit stressful now flying
for the rest of my life.

Heather (26:09):
Is it the rest of your life or does it get expunged after like 10 years?
I don't know.
Dunno.
Yeah.
You have to be careful becausehopefully it gets expunged.
Even if you're a pretty white woman,they're gonna fucking chuck you into
Guantanamo, no questions asked, no phone.
Then I have to come over to Guantanamo.
You need to find me.
I'll get you.
I'll fucking get you.
I don't care.
Thank God.
Um, yeah.

(26:30):
Do you, um, how does it makeyou feel when you get pulled
over for secondary inspection?
Because of a DUI?
Like do you feel ashamed or do youfeel scared or what's the vibe?

Zoe (26:41):
I am, I think it's just like this is who I am.
Mm-hmm.
You know, at the end ofthe day, I am an addict.
I did get a DUI, like I am a criminal.
Like this is, I've accepted it.
Yeah.
And.
I don't know if it's shameful.
I'm just, it's like, it'sjust a part of me that

Heather (26:58):
yeah.

Zoe (26:58):
I have to accept and I made that decision.

Heather (27:01):
Well, I wonder what people feel and I made that mistake.
Yeah.
I wonder how people feel sometimes,like, you know, you, you're in aa.
Mm-hmm.
So you, like, you do have allthis like ability to be objective.
Mm-hmm.
I wonder if some people would feellike, oh, I don't even wanna try.
'cause I don't wanna tell people I'm,I have a DUI, I don't want them to
know, I don't want that on my rec.
Like, I don't want to haveto have that conversation.

(27:22):
'cause it's embarrassing.
Yeah.

Zoe (27:24):
I mean, I guess I'm not embarrassed because I've done so
much work now and I am sober and Iam so proud of my sobriety mm-hmm.
That my sobriety over

Heather (27:33):
counts.
Like the, the DUI like.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah, I think it does.
I just imagine some peoplewould feel that is true.
Ooh, I don't wanna go.
I'm now I have to go with a friendand they're, I'm gonna get pulled
over 'cause I have this fucking DUI.
Yeah.
But I think it's okay.
It's just like, things happen in

Zoe (27:49):
life.
Things happen in life, and if people aregonna judge you for that, then fuck them.
Yeah.
Like travel by yourself.
Yeah.
Go there early.
Do the things you need to do.
Yeah.
You know?
And the, I don't think it shouldlimit yourself from traveling.

Heather (28:03):
No.

Zoe (28:03):
And that

Heather (28:03):
can be a goal of yours to work up to, you know?
Yeah.
And the ERs that work at the,at the customs, they are not,
um, they're not sober, so,
so you're a bit better than them.
Yeah.
That was great.
So just like, keep your mouthshut, get your paperwork and be

Zoe (28:21):
kind.
Yeah.
And fly away deep breaths.
And like, I know it'sso stressful in there.
It's hard to like stay calm, but.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Totally.

Heather (28:29):
Yeah.
Just, yeah.
Just be prepared.
Yeah.
And just know, know your case so well.
That like you can speak to it.
That's what you gotta do.
Yeah.
Hey, yayy Yayi.
Speaking of Air Canada whilespeaking of flying Yeah.
Air Canada.
It is over now.
The, they have been, Idon't know what you call it.
There's been a resolution, I guess.
Yeah.
But all of the Air Canada flightattendants went on strike.

(28:52):
Mm-hmm.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Always makes me nervous when there's,that was like for two weeks too.
That was long.
I know, guys, it's nuts.
It's like when the, it's like thepost office goes on strike every
Christmas and we're like, ah, yeah.
And then it's, it's like the 23rdand they're like, we're back.
I'm like, oh

Zoe (29:08):
my God.

Heather (29:08):
A little, I'm

Zoe (29:08):
too

Heather (29:08):
late,

Zoe (29:09):
a little bit too late.

Heather (29:10):
I'm like, I'm already on route.
Yeah.
But let's talk about it for a littlebit because as a frequent flyer mm-hmm.
I would fucking hate tobe a flight attendant.

Zoe (29:18):
I have.
I So getting out of rehab, I was thinkingabout getting, being a flight attendant.

Heather (29:23):
Mm-hmm.
Hey.
Okay.
And.

Zoe (29:25):
My rehab boyfriend's aunt was a flight attendant.
I actually called her and spoke toher on the phone about it and she
was like, honestly, it's really hardif you don't speak another language.

Heather (29:36):
Okay.
Oh.
And I said,

Zoe (29:37):
okay, bet.
And then I saw how much they get paid andI was like, okay, bet I'm not doing it.
Did you see how much it was?
Um, it was, it wasn't likeeven close to a hundred a year.

Heather (29:48):
Oh, fuck no.
No.

Zoe (29:49):
Definitely not.
No.

Heather (29:50):
Um, I guess in Canada you probably have to speak French.

Zoe (29:55):
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
Okay.
But it was, she said it was just likereally, really hard to like get in.
Yeah.
Unless like, you know, someonewho knows someone, you know,

Heather (30:03):
I'm on planes all the time and I feel like I've never,
I mean, I never speak to anybody.
Yeah, right.
But like, I don't reallyhear a lot of French speaking
people who can't speak English.
Yeah, yeah.
Like everyone can speak English.
Yeah.
But it's Canada, so wehave to put French first.
Yeah.
I think,

Zoe (30:17):
um.
I just like was in the service industryforever, so I thought like, oh, maybe
I'd be good at this coming outta rehab.
What am I gonna do?
You

Heather (30:25):
would

Zoe (30:25):
probably be good at

Heather (30:26):
it.
Yeah.
I just am like, why would somebody Yeah.
Want to like, huh.
Service industry is so fucking crazy.
You know what

Zoe (30:35):
we were gonna talk about?
We were gonna talk about howpilots can't go to therapy.
Let's talk about this.
This is so fucking crazy.
I know.
So I'm glad I fuckingremember because that was it.

Heather (30:44):
Yeah.
I think like, I don't even, like who I,my mom, we, we talk, I mean we talk about
this shit all the time, but pilots mm-hmm.
Are not supposed to go to therapy.
They're not really allowed to.
Mm-hmm.
Because to be a pilot, you have to bementally sound and mentally stable.
And going to therapy provesthat you have mental issues

(31:04):
that you need to work through,

Zoe (31:06):
which is the complete opposite.
Going to therapy meansyou're like mentally sound.
I, and like aware of your

Heather (31:11):
emotions.
Yeah.
And like not so fucking quick totrigger and good in emergencies.
Yeah.
It's the most.
Insane diluted thing.
It's well, and it's like, it's 2025 guys.
Like Yeah.

Zoe (31:25):
Therapy isn't supposed to be, um, judgmental or like put down, it's not an

Heather (31:29):
insane asylum.
Yeah.
Like you're not mental,like you're literally like,
I'm mental, but you're not.
Same like Yeah.
It's a huge stigma still.
Yeah.
And that like really proves Prove it.
That proves it.
Yeah.
Well, because being a pilot is like oneof the like most whatever, like, it's
like very a high, it's a high ranking job.
It definitely used to beback in the day, like yeah,

Zoe (31:50):
it is still now.
But I think people worshipedpilots back in the day.
'cause it's like, ohmy God, you're flying.

Heather (31:57):
Yeah.
Because like, the only thingthere really was to do was be
like a businessman or a pilot.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
It's not great.
Or like anybody that was like inwartime, they're like, you fly a plane.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
But there's this thing, youcan look it up, it's like, um.
There's like a compilation ofOf pilots and their copilots

(32:20):
and often when planes crash.
Yeah.
The copilot does not say anything.
Like the copilot does not feel likethey're able to speak to the pilot.
'cause they're like a lower ranking pilot.
Got it.
So they don't feel likethey can say something.
Okay.
That is what it is.
Also, in the military, you do not, youdo not go against your fucking sergeant.

(32:44):
You do not speak up.
Like you don't, you justfollow their fucking rules.
And are you saying like if theycould communicate with each other,
maybe complaints wouldn't crash?
Yeah.
Because, because you hear sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
You'll hear the planes going down.
Mm-hmm.
And the co-pilot will say something.
Mm-hmm.
And the pilot doesn't listen.
Yeah.
Or like disagrees or it's like volatile.

(33:05):
Mm-hmm.
Like.
It's just the weirdest Yeah.
Thing in the world that like theyaren't, there's a system set up
where like he's the grandpa ball.
Yeah.
And you shut the fuck up.
And what he says goes, but it's likeif you two could trust each other Yeah.
And have communicationCo-pilot, literally co-pilot.
He's not just there to suckyour dick on long rides, babe.

(33:27):
I mean, he could do that too.
He could do that too, but communicate,communicate while you're sucking.
Tell him, tell him what you like.
Tell him you like yourballs cupped after you come.
Okay.
We all do.
We all do.

Zoe (33:40):
I, I, yeah.
It it, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I think you told me thatlike a month or two ago.
Mm-hmm.
That was shocking to me.
It's shocking because, yeah,we think like therapy is like
less stigmatized now and mm-hmm.
Um, it's so good to go to therapy,but then we don't let pilots drive.
Plane if they go.
Yeah.
And that's like, I haveinteracted with some pilots before

(34:02):
when I was drunk at a hotel.
I was talking to this guy smoking acigarette, and I'm like, what do you do?
He said, I'm a pilot.
And he was so fucking miserable.
I bet you he

Heather (34:09):
was not a pilot.

Zoe (34:10):
No, I, yeah.
I'm just kidding.
Think he was like wearing his shit.
Yeah.
And it was Christmas andhe is like, it sucks.
Like I can't be with my family.
I am really sad.
He wasn't trying to fuck me or anything.
Wow.
I was trying to probablyfuck him, but he was not.
Um, but he looked just like so sadin the eyes and it's like these Yeah.
They're, these pilots areaway from their families.
Yeah.
For a long time.

(34:31):
Yeah.
It would be amazing for them to go totherapy and talk that those feelings out.

Heather (34:36):
Yes.
I agree.
It's, it's this thing oflike going to therapy is.
A thing that happensafter something happens.
It's like a, it's like a, like,um, a solution to a problem.
Mm-hmm.
But that's how a therapy is.
You're, you go to therapy as you'relike growing and changing Yeah.
And being a person inyour day-to-day life.
Like, I go to therapy and I'm not alwayslike, I was traumatized as a child.

(34:58):
I go therapy and I'm like, I didn'tlike that I did this yesterday.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
Like, or, or things like in thefuture, if this comes up, this is
how I wanna talk to Zoe about Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
It's not always aboutlike an immediate thing.
And I feel like that'sthe way they and men Yeah.
Often think about therapy.
It's like, something's wrongwith you, you have to go.

(35:19):
It's like, no.
No.
Well, because pilotsare usually men as well.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And flight attendants areusually are historically women.
Yeah.
Same with caretakers and nurses.
And that's why they get paid pennies.
Yeah.
Even though they do all the work.
Yeah.
But yeah, the therapy thing, it's just,it feels like such a. Such a clear idea

(35:42):
of how people still think of therapy.
Yeah.
And that's shocking to me becauseI've been in therapy for fucking ever.
Yeah.
Like my dad is in therapy now.
Guys.
Go to therapy.
Go to therapy.
Yeah.
Well, it's a comes

Zoe (35:52):
back last week where I was saying like, oh, every, like Air Canada
should pay for the pilot's therapy.
Like Yes.
Para the paramedics payfor therapy for them.
Oh yeah, they do.
They must.
Right.
Like my friend's boyfriend has somuch insurance to go towards therapy.
He doesn't use it.
Liam,

(36:13):
use it.

Heather (36:15):
Use it.
It's incredibly important.
Incredibly.
We don't have a job that is so terrifying.
Mm-hmm.
That people could losetheir fucking lives.
That's the other thing.
Like they.
They are constant.
Like we're hearing all the timeabout plane crashes in the news.
Yeah.
This is their job.
That's so scary.
Scary.
Those, they're like fellow people that arecrashing and dying and like it's possible.

(36:38):
Yeah.
That alone is like, you need to go totherapy and make sure that you're okay.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
It doesn't make any sense tome like, what is going on.
Well, I think, I think it's reallyhard for men and CEOs of things and
rule makers to talk about emotions.
Mm-hmm.
All they wanna do is talk about moneyand that's why pilots make a fuck ton.
Mm-hmm.
Instead of the CEOs andnobody else fucking matters.

(37:01):
Well, at least now Air Canada isgetting paid a little bit more.
Yeah.
Which is great.
My ex, the ex I hadwhen I went into rehab.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I know I'm the worst.
I know that.
But, um, he was in the Navy.
Okay.
The Canadian Navy.
Which like, what do youguys even do by the way?

Zoe (37:21):
What are you doing?
I follow someone who, it's a random, Iknew in Sarnia and he's in the Army and
he just like posts Instagram storiesof him like in a plane and like jumping
out of a plane and like on a boat.
Are are they like in the war?
I think

Heather (37:38):
they're just like training.
They're just chilling.
Eh?
They're hanging out.
Hanging out.
Training.
Like, I obviously know you guys do morethan that, but like, what do you do?
And like, let, lemme know what you do.
Yeah.
Like we're not going to the war anytime.
Well, we might be.
We might be.
I'm not going, I thinkthey're just like preparing.
I'm not going, I will shootmyself in the foot immediately.
You so I don't have to go.

Zoe (37:56):
Or I'll try, try to.
You're not going, I thoughtyou would wanna go to war.
I don't.
But with the zombie apo, Idon't wanna take a four hour
shuttle with a zombie apocalypse.
You wanna fight?
I wanna kill myself.
In war, you wanna killyourself and not fight.
The zombie apocalypse

Heather (38:13):
feels so much bigger than us.
Mm-hmm.
I think the thing about war is like,I just like don't agree with like
men being like, I disagree with you.
I'm gonna fight youbecause my God said so.
Yeah.
You're like, well, brother,at least the zombies.
It's like, no, that's a bacteriathat's infiltrated everybody.
I see.
I see.
And so now I'm in a thing becauseof the world, not because of men.

(38:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not interested, I'm notinterested in my life being put
on the line at the hands of men.
Okay.
Not interested.
I'm not going to war.
So I'll either get pregnant, go touniversity, or shoot myself in the foot.
Perfect.
Okay.
I'll shoot you two.
Yeah.
We'll shoot each other in the foot.
But my ex was in the Navy and he, therewas a time where they were going from, I'm
gonna make up names, Halifax to Ottawa.

(38:56):
Let's pretend that'swhere they were going and.
There was a major storm and they werejust going back, like there was no task.
It was literally justbringing the boat back.
Okay.
It was a major storm.
All of them are on their phones.
It's like, we can't do this.
Like, we can't take the ship.
This is fucking dangerous.
Okay.
But the guy that the cat,the, the captain was like, no.

(39:19):
Like he was being like pompousand he wanted to get back.
So he's like, I'm going.
And they went.
Yeah.
And it was, they all almost died.
Yeah.
Like it almost capsized.
Yeah.
He said that like, youcouldn't even sit in your bunk.
'cause it's like, you know, thoselike fishing boat things, but those
people like know that's happening.
Yeah.
This was like, I was like, do youthink that he made the wrong choice?
Yeah.
And he was like, 100%.

(39:40):
Yeah.
We all could have died.
It's just the ego.
And I said, why didn't youor anyone else say anything?
Yeah.
Because I'm not in the military,so like I don't really get it.
And he was like, oh.
No.
No, you are not allowed.
Yeah.
If you go against them or I said, then whydid you just not get off the fucking boat?
Yeah.
Just get off the boat.
You have personal autonomy.
Yeah, but I don't thinkyou do in the military.

(40:00):
Yeah.
He was like, if you do that, youget put in like military jail.
That's crazy.

Zoe (40:09):
It's literally the men's

Heather (40:10):
egos of it all.
Like don't group think.
Don't, don't need to,don't risk your lives.
I know.
That's the thing.
I'm like, and I get it.
I guess I get it.
Like the women, we have such intuition.
Yeah.
And like, I don't know, men don't.
Yeah.
Have any of that.
I'd be like, I'm on my period right now inthe seas Look a little too crazy for me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(40:30):
I'm like, I'm sensing this is notgonna be good for my hormones.
And it's not.
But gr that's like the group think.
Yeah.
And I kind of get it.
In like barbarian times where itwas like, I get what it's from.
Yeah.
The the other tribe is coming.
You just have to all be onthe same page and sacrifice
yourselves for your people and go.
Mm-hmm.
I get that.
We're not really in those times anymore.

(40:52):
No.
So I just feel like this is really stupid.
You're not even at war.
Mm-hmm.
You're literally just going from oneplace to the other and you could die.
That's the dumbest fuckingthing I've ever heard.
That's funny.
So it's just similar tolike the pilots of it all.
Yeah.
Where it's like, can you guyschill out, join 2025 and read
a book and go to therapy?
Yeah.
Holy fuck.
I, yeah.

(41:13):
That that is it.

Zoe (41:14):
Right?
That's crazy.

Heather (41:16):
The flight attendants.
Yes.
Let me tell you what their demands were.
I think they're gettingpaid $30 an hour now.
Flight attendants.
What they're, what The problembasically is that they only get
paid once the plane takes off.
Yeah.
So everything they do before the gate,like checking people in at the gate,
getting people's bags, like havingpeople come onto the plane delays.

(41:38):
Mm-hmm.
All that shit.
They're not getting paiduntil the plane takes off.
Sometimes that's hoursand hours and hours.
And hours.
And a lot of them are working onaverage, these flight attendants are
working up to 35 unpaid hours per month.
Yeah.
Per attendant.
Like each person, you can't do that.
Yeah.
That's fucking nuts.
I've been stuck on atarmac for like four hours.
Yeah.
And they're not getting fucking paid.

(41:59):
And people are evil.

Zoe (42:00):
And also like, it makes them wanna do their job less.
Like it makes them wanna do aworse job and like everyone is
now more unhappy on that flight.

Heather (42:10):
Yeah.

Zoe (42:11):
Wouldn't you wanna pay them properly so that they're want to take
care of these people on the flight?

Heather (42:16):
Yeah.

Zoe (42:17):
You know?

Heather (42:18):
It's a like, I feel like 'cause flight attendants are in a union.
Yeah.
And I'm like, what the fuck iswrong with this fucking union?
Because like, all I've ever known aboutunions is that they are like crappy.
They care of their people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they push.
And they fight.
Yeah.
And then we don't get Christmas mail.
Yeah.
You know?
So I'm like, what's wrongwith this fucking union?
You can't.
But it's like, you know, it is Again,a lot of unions are full of men.

(42:39):
Yeah.
So it's like, other than teachers andthey don't really get paid enough either.
But all of these inherently female Yeah.
Dominated industries, nobody gives a fuck.
Yeah.
It's so shocking.
So basically what they want is fullhourly pay for all duties performed on
the ground, not just while airborne.
That feels fair.
Yeah.
That seems

Zoe (42:58):
like.

Heather (42:59):
That

Zoe (42:59):
should have been the case

Heather (43:00):
forever ago.
Yeah.
I mean, tech bros get paid to take Ubersto work so that they can work in the car.
Seriously.
Yeah.
So like guys, the strikeincluded ground pay, so anything
before being airborne good.
Beginning at 50% of hourly rate inone year, increasing to 70% in year
four for boarding and related duties.

(43:21):
Nonetheless, many flightattendants remain dissatisfied.
Seeing even that as insufficient,especially given unpaid delays
in overall compensation.
Adequacy.
I agree.
I I feel like they justbumped it a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
The CEO makes millions andmillions and millions of dollars.
Mm-hmm.
Like becoming a flightattendant is not easy.

(43:43):
Mm-hmm.
It's not just like working at Auria.
Yeah.
It's like, which by theway, very hard to do.
It's like the customerservice job of the world.
Yeah.
I don't get it.
All we did during COVID was watch howevil people were to flight attendants and
how much flight attendants have to do.
They're not cops, they'relike keeping people safe.

(44:05):
I don't know.
I'm like, pay them more.

Zoe (44:08):
Yeah.
Like, I mean, at least they'repaying them now when they're at the
airport, like, yeah, that is great.
Yeah.
Um, it

Heather (44:17):
just feels a little bit like, okay, here's a little more Yeah.
And not actually understanding Yeah.
What the fuck peoplehave been doing for you.
Like I was an assistant for along time and I was like, I'm
doing so much fucking work.
Yeah.
And I'm not getting compensated for it.
Yeah.
And now we have this person that's likescreaming at you saying like, racial slurs
and not putting on their COVID masks.

Zoe (44:36):
Well, that's the thing.
Like, I don't know what youwould do in that situation.
Like I could not deal with that.
Like Right.
There's no one like above you tolike be like, yo, come help me.
Yeah.
There's no one to ask for help from that.
So it's like, yeah, that is.
Insane that you actually have tobe the one that, to deal with that.
I could never.
Mm-hmm.
And yeah, shout out to all the flightattendants that deal with that on a

(44:57):
day-today basis, because that is insane.
And I hope you have good healthinsurance for therapy as well.
Well, they

Heather (45:03):
probably don't.
They probably don't.
I know.
Truly.
Shout out to the flight attendants.
I try to be so fucking nice.
Every now and then you get a reallyfucking bitchy flight attendant.
Yeah.
And I kind of go, no, but it happens.
Whenever I'm on a flight, I justhave my headphones on and I don't
even really talk to anybody at all.
When people are having a bad timeat work, I just wanna be like, well,
that's what the money's for, but if themoney isn't there, yeah, that's that.
Then why, why are we doing a job?

(45:24):
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Mm. When Zoe and I fly on yourflights, we're gonna be angels.
Yeah.
And we don't drink.
We're so easy.
Come sit with us.
Yeah.
Tell me.
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it.
So Heather, this is our 25th.
This is our 25th.
Give me out.
Give me out.
Yeah.
Yeah, brother.
This is our 25th episode.

(45:45):
Episode.
This is our 25th episode.
Can you guys believe it?
Can you guys believe it?
We're

Zoe (45:49):
a quarter to 100.
Oh my god.
That is really, really crazy.
Yeah.
This is a's a long time.
We've actually probably donewhat, like 30, 32 episodes.
In the beginning

Heather (46:02):
there,

Zoe (46:03):
there were a lot

Heather (46:04):
of redos.

Zoe (46:04):
Yeah.
In the beginning of the audio.
And then at the beginning of the videothere was like probably three per,
every time we do something new mm-hmm.
We do it twice Well and exactly right.
And when we get guests on, whichwe are gonna be doing soon, we'll
probably have to do a few as well.
Mm-hmm.
To get used to that.

Heather (46:23):
For our 25th, I was gonna say, our 25th anniversary.
Imagining 25 years, you and meare sitting here being like, it's
our 25th anniversary of the pod.
Wow.
How old will I be?
No, I can't talk about that.
No, I can't.
Um, we wanted to, well, we'll talkabout, we wanted to just kind of
have peek behind the curtain mm-hmm.

(46:44):
And kinda just talk abouthow we feel about 25.
Yeah.
Um, and get into somefun confessions later.
Yes.
But, um, how are youfeeling Fucking 25 in?
How are you feeling about me?
How are you feeling about this?
It'ss going on's my favorite thing

Zoe (47:00):
ever.
I think, like, I'm just, I am justgetting even more comfortable with it
every time and like loving it more.
Mm-hmm.
Every episode too.
It's not like I've haven't,like ha started to hate it.
I've only started to love it.
So like that's a good sign.
Yeah.
Scary.
And yeah.
I just think we're doing like really cool.

(47:20):
Like work and helpingpeople and just, yeah.
I loved chatting with you about this

Heather (47:26):
shit.
It's so fun.
That's like, it is really niceto just have like one day, well,
we talk about it all the time.
Yeah.
But like one day a week where we'reintentionally talking, talking about this.
Yeah.
It's so fucking fun.
And it is.
It's way less stressful thanit was at the beginning.
Yeah.
At the beginning I was like sweatingall the time and throwing up a lot

Zoe (47:45):
at the beginning too.
Like I am not used to talking about this,about sobriety and recovery and my past.
Mm-hmm.
In such depth, because I'm not in therapyand you are in therapy, so I think
you're a little bit more used to it.
Yeah.
And when I started I waslike so anxious after.
Mm-hmm.
And like, like my tummy would hurt.

(48:06):
Yeah.
I would like, my heartwould be beating so fast.
Well, we kind of had likepost not regret about Yeah.
I think some of the things you would say.
Yeah.
Well I just would forgetwhat we're saying.
I. We still forget what we say all thetime when we're listening it to it back.
I'm like, oh, I wonderif I'm gonna say this.
That would be a cool, smart thing to say.
Yeah.
And then I do say itand I'm like, oh good.
Thank God.
Good smart girl.

(48:26):
Good girl.

Heather (48:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so nice that, uh, do youremember when I first asked
you to do this pod with me?
Yes.
What even went to Kukla wasthat must been, that must've
been like what November?
Was it before Christmas?
No.
Yeah.
No, it was after.
'cause we, I think itwas, we launched in March.
What am I talking about?
So I wanna say it was

Zoe (48:46):
probably like January.
January?
Yeah.
I think it was probably January.
Mm-hmm.
A cold winter's night.

Heather (48:52):
It was a cold winter's night.
You are wearing your bluebutton up striped shirt.
She remembers what I was wearing.
I do.
In your gray headband and, uh.
I was so nervous 'cause I hadtalked 'cause we were friends,
but we weren't this close.
Yeah.
Like we were not, and I had talkedto Anne, I was like trying to do
the pot on my own and not, couldn'tfigure out why it wasn't working.
Mm-hmm.

(49:12):
And they, we both were like, I thinkbecause you like having conversations
and not just like talking about it.
Yeah.
And then Anne was like, okay, what doyou think about bringing someone on?
And I was like, I don't know.
Mm-hmm.
I, I just had this visionof what I wanted it to be.
I'm not sure it scares meto bring someone else in.

(49:33):
It'll change the whole thing.
And then it just immediately like thinkingabout it, I was like, yeah, this is the
whole fucking point we met in the wild.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
And then I was sitting at dinnerand I was waiting and then I started
kind of bringing it up and then Iwas like, what do you wanna do it?
And you were like, fuck, I knewyou were gonna ask me that.

Zoe (49:53):
So I saw Heather make the girl on drunk page.
Oh yeah.
Probably like.
Six months prior.
So like, I knew youwanted to do a podcast.
Mm-hmm.
And so, like, I knew that wassomething that you were gonna do.
And I was like, so excited because Iknew that you would be great at it.
Mm-hmm.
I was like, this is gonna be amazing.
I can't wait.

(50:15):
She wasn't saying like, when thingswere starting yet for her, and I was
like, ah, she's probably gonna ask melike, to do at least like an episode.
Mm-hmm.
Or two.
So I, I was expecting that.
But then when you asked me to do, belike a co-host, a co-host, I was like.
Oh my God.
It's like, I thought it wasjust gonna be an episode ask.
And I was like, okay.

(50:36):
We were talking

Heather (50:36):
about this yesterday that I was like, I don't even
remember you fully agreeing to it.
I didn't like, we just were like,

Zoe (50:43):
let's try an episode.
I was like, okay, maybe like, I'lltry an episode and see how I feel.
And then I went and talked to allmy friends about it and everyone
was like, yes, you have to do this.
Like, this would be so good for you.
I can picture you doing this.
Um, so that was reassuring.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that made memore prepared to say yes.

Heather (51:04):
Yeah.

Zoe (51:05):
And when we did the trial episode, which was just a real episode

Heather (51:11):
Yeah.

Zoe (51:11):
That the first one didn't go out.
It didn't go out, but it ended,it was like a real episode.
Yeah.
And then I, yeah, I signed a contractfor 10 episodes, so I gotta leave.

Heather (51:20):
Yeah.
You got, you had to leave 15 episodes.
15 episodes ago.
Yeah.

Zoe (51:24):
I'll be suing you later.
Okay, perfect.
Um, but yeah, like I. I didfall in love with it Uhhuh.
And I think that I am sograteful that you wanted

Heather (51:34):
me to be a little cohost.
What?
What?
Whoa, Joey.
No, it made so much fucking sense.
'cause it was like I walkedinto your skincare clinic.
I was such a weird manic, miss Big.
And I was like, it's so weird.
And meeting, meeting you in the wild.
Mm-hmm.
It just feels like thatis the whole thing.
Yeah.
That's the point of this.
We've like, now we'vemet girls on Instagram.

(51:57):
Yeah.
That I like love and I'm like, Ifeel like we're gonna be friends.
Yeah.
I mean, they're gonna come to the event.
They're gonna come to the eventon September 6th and we're

Zoe (52:03):
gonna be friends.

Heather (52:04):
It's just so nice.

Zoe (52:06):
It's the point of sobriety.
Yeah.
Like talking to me and sharingand having like a community of
people is how we stay sober.
Like that's how I staysober at the meetings.
Yeah.
Through my community.
And you are now part of like.
A different community mm-hmm.
Of sobriety than like the meetings.
Yeah.
And, but it's the same thing.
Yeah.
It's just having a sober companionthat understands how you felt and

(52:29):
understands how you're feeling now.

Heather (52:30):
Yeah.

Zoe (52:31):
Working it out together.
I

Heather (52:32):
like knowing that there's some people who listen that are sober mm-hmm.
And they're doing it.
Yeah.
And like, I just love, I think about themall the day, all the day, all the day.
I think about them allthe time, all the time.
Girls that like message us.
I'm like, and they'reprobably fucking sober today.
Yeah.
Like, you crushing it.
It's so crushing it.
Mm. It's just nice.
I feel like I'm, itfeels like it feels cozy.

(52:52):
Mm-hmm.
It feels nice.

Zoe (52:54):
Yeah.
And, um, where are we gonnatake the podcast next?
What do you envision for the ies?

Heather (53:01):
Well, we do wanna start some interviews.
Yeah.
So we're, we're gonna get.
We're gonna figure outsome sort of situation.
I have to have Anne come inhere and look at this space.
Yeah.
And see like what to do.
'cause we have to get a third mic in here.
We have to get a, someseating arrangement.
Yeah.
But it would be really fun to astart interviewing our friends.

(53:22):
Yeah.
And like either friends whoknew us, friends who knew us.
Friends who knew us now.
Yeah.
People that are sober, people that aren'tsober have maybe had their own shit.
Yeah.
Also the mentals, we love the mentals.
All of my friends are mental.
Yeah.
I wanna get into eating disorder stuff.
Yeah.
'cause that's a huge partof my, my journey for sure.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, it would be fun to like.

(53:44):
Hear from your friends.
Yeah.
And 'cause I know you now.
Yeah.
I don't, I didn't know you before.
Yeah.
So, and same with you.
Like knowing Yeah.
I think that would be very interesting.
Like knowing the friend that you were,'cause I know the friend that you are now.
Yeah.
Which is like the fucking best.
You're such a good fucking friend.
I would like to know whatyou were like before.
Yeah.

(54:05):
Because I can't even think of that.

Zoe (54:06):
I think I was still a good friend.
Like people kept me around becauseI was like, good, like mm-hmm.
I was still trying, I didn'tlike fuck off and like, okay.
Yeah.
Call anyone like bit like Yeah.
Cuss anyone out.
Yeah.
But I, I think I justwas scaring everybody.
Mm-hmm.
And people were like coming to a point oflike, I don't wanna be scared about her.

(54:29):
Yeah.
And like, I can't be around someonewho is continually scaring me.
Yeah.
So it's not good.
I think it was just hard for that reason.
Uhhuh.
But yeah, I agree.
I think like having guests on is gonna.
Be great.
Have the podcast grow.
I think we're gettinga social media girl in.
Yeah.
Which is also exciting.
We

Heather (54:49):
do.
We have a new social girl coming.
Social girl.
Social girl.
Coming next week.
Yeah.
Well she's coming to the event.
Maybe she's coming.
She's coming to the event.
Maybe Alani.
I'm so excited.
It's crazy.
Excited to meet her.
We're our team is growing.
I know.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
It's so crazy.
Everything.
And like, shout out Anne, 'cause Yeah.
Truly Holy fuck.
Holding our hands through this.

(55:09):
Yeah.
It's so nice.
I feel like everyone has a role.
Mm-hmm.
And we're just doing it well andwe love each other and it's nice.
DJ's amazing.
Yeah.
I think, um, it would be greatto start having experts on Yeah.
Because I feel like we've talked aboutso much that I'm like, I, I'm ready
to be told what is actually the truth.
Yeah.
And not what just is made upin our minds in terms of like

(55:30):
addiction too, of like Yeah.
Why it happens and like thedifference between like.
Like it's generational.
Mm-hmm.
Or it's, or it's trauma.
Mm-hmm.
Chemical compounds.
What happens to your brain?
What happened to our fucking brain?
Yeah.
Like I would like to start, start.
I would love to do

Zoe (55:47):
a brain scan one day with you.

Heather (55:49):
I wanna go to Turkey and get the full body scan.
Okay.
And find out what's going on.
I'm done.
I'm, that would terrify me though, becausewhat if I was riddled with disease?

Zoe (55:57):
Um, yeah.
I'm just like excitedfor where it's going.
Yeah.
But I feel really, I feel reallylike nostalgic even mm-hmm.
About the past 25 episodes.
Like, it's so cool.
Even just how much we've grown now,I can't imagine for the next 25.
It's gonna be really interesting tosee what we do with it, because I think
we can go so many places with thispodcast and like, help so many people.

Heather (56:18):
Mm-hmm.
And I wanna like, travel around.
I feel like some things, like a thingthat would be really hard for me to do
is go back to like New York and Boston.
Mm-hmm.
'cause I just.
Gave up my whole life.
Like that was everything to me.
And I gave it up and I ha I've been back.
No, I haven't been back to eithersince I stopped dancing, except with

(56:40):
my ex. I went to New York and that washard, but I was drunk the whole time.
Right.
And then he broke up with me.
So I'm like, well, yeah.
Now we have multiple things going on.

Zoe (56:47):
Yeah.
We'll go back.
We'll, yeah, there are some people.
We'll go around.
We'll

Heather (56:50):
vlog it.
We'll vlog it.
There's some people I wanna interview.
I have a friend Gabby, who is amazing,and she's a family therapist now.
Mm-hmm.
But like, we were in school together andeating disorders were fucking rampant.
Mm-hmm.
And now like, she's so cool.
And she has a baby and she's a therapist.
Yeah.
And I, I have another friend who, samething and now like, she's the therapist.

(57:13):
So it's so interesting to seelike, we all went through shit.
Yeah.
All of us truly.
And how everyone haskind of come out of it.
That's what I wanna know.
Yeah.
How you wanna have peopleconversations surviving.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and eating disordersare different than sobriety.
It's still an addiction in a way, and it'sstill like a severe mental health issue.
And it's, and a lot

Zoe (57:33):
of the time for girls, at least with addiction, like they do go hand in hand.
Yeah.
Like a lot of people in the meetingsdo talk about like, eating and mm-hmm.
How it plays a part.
Yeah.
Same with like sex, you know?
Same with everything.

Heather (57:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just feel really excited andlike, there's so much going on.
We have like a little eventcoming up at Zero Bar.
Yeah.
Our first event, like, I feel like we'remaking a cute community on Instagram.
There's I think so too.
There's like people I just wanna like,talk to and be friends with and Yeah.
I'm just so proud of us.
Me too.
Like, I think that we're

Zoe (58:00):
great.
Of our team.
Proud of you.
Proud of me.
We're

Heather (58:03):
feeling good.
We're feeling good.
So stay tuned.
Yeah.
Stick around please.
With you for, um, for the 25thepisode, we wanted to, uh, do
something a little fun and special.
Yeah.
Now this is kind of hard for usbecause Zoe and I like have already
said so many fucking, we confess

Zoe (58:20):
so much.

Heather (58:21):
Yeah.
And I

Zoe (58:22):
forget what makes

Heather (58:23):
it in.
Yeah.
And what.
It gets cut.
I do too.
I mean, I do have a confession fromyesterday that literally just happened.
Okay, tell me, so we're gonna do littleconfessions and then you guys sent
us some confessions over Instagram.
First of all, I love you all.
You're all gross idiots.
Same though.
Literally.
Same.
Still literally same.

(58:44):
But like LOLI love.
Yeah.
I just love that people can messageus and say disgusting things.
Yeah.
In like, but it's like so funny and real.
Yeah.
I mean, don't send us dick pics.
We got that.
Don't like it.
But like we don't want that.
It's so funny to just be like.
Shit on this.
Yeah.
And I'm like, yeah, that's how, yeah.

(59:04):
Of course we, we fucking talk.
It's so good.
Yeah.
Okay.
I can start with my confessionthat happened yesterday.
Go, but it's kind of a babyone, so no one get upset with me

Zoe (59:12):
yesterday.
We

Heather (59:12):
literally tell crazy shit all the time.
They can't be upset.
That's true.
Yeah.
I have my period.
Ooh.
And, um, I usually wear periodunderwear, but I just have been like
such a slacker on like, the laundry.
Yeah.
And so I'm like, whatever,we're going to boxing.
And when I wear my period underwith boxing, I'm like, it makes

(59:33):
me look like I'm wearing a diaper.
I don't love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I, I don't have tampons in the house.
I don't keep them in thehouse just like meat.
I don't keep meat in the house.
Mm-hmm.
And I asked Zoe, I said,can you bring me a tampon?
Now Zoe and I were boxing in thepark yesterday, and I don't go
into public washrooms because Ooh.
But I was like, yeah, inthe car on the way there.
I'm like, how am I gonna put this?
Tampon in.

(59:53):
I was like, yeah, Zoe'sgonna gimme this tampon.
I'm gonna put, I'm gonnafigure out how to get it in.
Yeah.
So I come over, I was in my car and Iwas a little late 'cause I was like,
maybe Zoe can come over to my carand then I can just close the door.
Mm-hmm.
But then I was like, you knowwhat, let's figure this out.
So I walked over to the bench,Zoe's sitting there with Rachel,
Rachel's training someone else,and Zoe's doing her little wraps.
And I said, hello, doyou have a tampon for me?

(01:00:15):
She said, yeah.
And then I was like, I'mgonna just do it here.
And Zoe goes, go to your car.
Go to the car.
I was like, the car'sall the way over there.
I was like, I can do it, I think.
So I just sat down next to Zoe andthen undid the tampon and then just
put my hand in my pants and fullyput a tampon up inside me at the
park with multiple people around.

Zoe (01:00:35):
No one saw No, there was like.
30 people behind us.
Mm-hmm.
Playing basketball.
Mm-hmm.
Rachel and the co, the person she wastraining was right in front of us.
They didn't know, like two feet away.
They didn't notice.
She did it very sly, very slick.
It was very fast.

Heather (01:00:51):
I was shocked.
Were you impressed?
I was impressed.
Thank you so much.
I was, I was shocked personally thatyou wanted me to go back to my car
or that you thought I would've neverthought to just do it in the park.
It's a crazy thing to do.
Mind you, I didn't have a tampon in.
Yeah.
I just had like a wad oftoilet paper sh up inside me.
Yeah.
So if I had had it, if I hadhad one in, that would've been
a more difficult gross maneuver.

(01:01:11):
Yeah.
But I feel pretty proud of myself.
That's crazy.
That's a crazy thing.

Zoe (01:01:16):
I know.
I, there was a crazy thing to witness.
I was like, what the fuck?
Okay.
We're doing it.
It was, we're doing it.
It, it felt like a Zoeything to do, you know?
I mean, I have shit inthe park multiple times.
So.
We'll, we'll do that one.
Is that your confess?
I guess.
Go ahead.
Tell us.
Tell tell us.
Uh, so everyone knows the baseballdiamond at Trinity Bellwood.

Heather (01:01:41):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (01:01:43):
And, um, Trinity Bellwood, what?
It's, it's called like the dugout,where people like sit while they
like wait to be the next batter.

Heather (01:01:51):
Mm-hmm.

Zoe (01:01:51):
Yeah.
Before they go up for their performance.
Yeah, exactly.
Um, me and my ex, we were going outsomewhere like, probably around Ossington
and we were walking through the parkand we had just done like a lot of blow.
And the blow that I was doing wasdefinitely cut with baby laxatives
and like, mix with drinking.

(01:02:12):
Like I would have to poop all the time.
Mm-hmm.
And if it, I wasn't gonnapoop, then I couldn't hold it.
Mm-hmm.
I was never holding my poops.
I was pooping everywhere.
Is this, was this like diarrhea,poop or was this like a solid poop?
Probably a more diarrhea.
Little poop.
Okay.
Yeah.
More diarrhea.
Like un holdable kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And I was like.

(01:02:33):
I went to around the baseball diamond'cause that's where the bathrooms were.
But the bathrooms were locked.
Hey.
And it was probably onhouse people to poop.
Eight 30 maybe.
They closed the bathrooms at eight.
So it was like still daylight out.
'cause it was during the summer and Ifully just like pooped at the dugout.
So what did you do?
You

Heather (01:02:53):
walked over to the dugout?
Yeah.
And you said, this isthe decision I'm making.
I'm making this decision.
I told my ex, I waslike, I'm just gonna poop

Zoe (01:02:58):
over there.
Were

Heather (01:02:59):
people around?
Yes.
Okay.
'cause

Zoe (01:03:02):
it's eight, you said what time?
8:30 PM Like the sun was starting to set.
It's like

Heather (01:03:06):
prime time.

Zoe (01:03:07):
Yeah.

Heather (01:03:07):
So you went over to the dugout?
Yeah.
Were there people playingbaseball in that area?
No.

Zoe (01:03:10):
Okay.

Heather (01:03:11):
So that was picture, no one was playing baseball, but
like people were in the park.
They were uh, and did youhave a dress on or a skirt on?
I don't think so.
Okay.
So you had to drop trow?

Zoe (01:03:20):
Yeah.

Heather (01:03:21):
And then shit in the park?
Yeah.
Were you in a squat position?

Zoe (01:03:23):
Yep.

Heather (01:03:25):
Okay.

Zoe (01:03:25):
I don't remember white boyfriend covering you.
I told my boyfriend to like, look away.
Okay.
I told him to not look.

Heather (01:03:31):
I mean Yeah.
'cause we're classy.
We're

Zoe (01:03:34):
so

Heather (01:03:34):
classy.
I don't poop.
I, I just, IL the thing islike when you're drunk and you
have to poop as an IBS girly.

Zoe (01:03:43):
Yeah.
And I, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Exactly.
And that's how it was for me.
Even now, like in sobriety, it's alittle bit like that, but mm-hmm.
The array, constipationpills are really helping.
Shadow array.
Please sponsor us.
Honestly, we we'rekeeping you in business.
We go through, we do that stuff.

Heather (01:04:00):
We really do.
We really do.

Zoe (01:04:01):
Oh gosh.
Um, yeah.
So I think that was like oneof the low points of that Yeah.
Time.
And then you just kind of like get upand walk away and nobody saw, I wasn't
looking around because I didn't wannasee, I've made that mistake before.
Once I peed on the street andaccidentally made eye contact
with a couple while I was peeing.
And so I've made that mistake before.
So I knew not to just keep my headdown, don't look at anybody and no one.

(01:04:23):
We'll see,

Heather (01:04:24):
I made eye contact with my dog the other day when I was
having sex and I didn't like it.
Oh God.
It's similar but different.
'cause what you're doing is illegal.
Yeah, it's illegal I think to be, it is.
It is illegal.
I was telling you that when Iwas in, don't, don't come for me.
I'm really impressed by that.
'cause like you just sometimeshave to do what you have to do Now.
Listen, I'm constantly yelling about howmany people take shits on the street.

(01:04:47):
Yeah.
This is a city where we live inthe city where people take shits
on the street and most of theshit you see is not from a dog.
I have a dog.
I can tell.
Yeah.
But again, that was sad.
We're talking about Trinity.
Bellwood a major park withpublic washrooms and they
closed them at eight 30.
Fuck off.
It's not my problem.
It's literally not.
If you don't want people to shiton the street also, fuck you.

(01:05:08):
Put sharps containers in there.
Keep 'em open.
Yeah.
Have a few giant men who secure thepark and like walk around being secure.
Yeah.
So nobody gets like stabbed.

Zoe (01:05:19):
No, that could definitely, like they could definitely do more for that.
Yes.
So that I didn't have to poop in the park.

Heather (01:05:25):
Yes.
It's crazy.
Look, subjugating this littleone to poop in the park.
Asshole out.
I'm so

Zoe (01:05:30):
sorry.
She's really

Heather (01:05:31):
sorry.
And then the kids who came toplay baseball the next day.
Oh yeah.
And that

Zoe (01:05:37):
was a definitely like a smelly poop.

Heather (01:05:39):
Yeah,

Zoe (01:05:39):
yeah, yeah.
It happens.

Heather (01:05:41):
Well, I really, and I have a hot summer's day.
Ooh.
I always wonder I a hot summer'sday, I always wonder like.
People that are unhoused.
I'm like, and the fentanyl or themeth or the drugs in your system?
I I, there has to bemore bathrooms around.
Yeah.
There has to be, has tobe to be a hundred percent

Zoe (01:06:00):
and Yeah.
They shouldn't, theycan't be locking them.
There should be a patrol at every park.
Yeah.
That could be fun.
That could be,

Heather (01:06:07):
could.
Sitting on a porcelain toiletis literally a human right.

Zoe (01:06:10):
Yeah.

Heather (01:06:11):
It should be in the constitution.
Um, okay.
What are the confessions that we got?
This is a good one.
I like this.
Okay.
Peed on my boyfriend's roommate's chair.
'cause I thought it was atoilet and I don't even remember
roommate's boyfriend's chair.
Mm-hmm.
Say it again.
I peed on my boyfriend's,boyfriend's roommate's chair.
So she was staying inher boyfriend's house?

(01:06:32):
Yeah.
Sat on her, his roommate'schair and pissed on it.
'cause I thought it was a toilet.
Oh yeah.
That is a story thatI've heard far too often.
Yeah.
It, but you used to pee.
Oh, I peed everywhere.
Had you ever, did you ever dothat where you thought you were
sitting on a toilet and pee?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I think I just always justlet it rock in the bed.
Damn.
Let it rock in the bed.

(01:06:53):
Yeah.
Your body knew.
You're like, I don't have topee on this chair 'cause I'm
going to bed in my pee mattress.
Oh God.
Yeah.
I blacked out, lost my phonedowntown and a garbage truck driver
tracked me down and gave it back.
That's so nice of him.
Oh my

Zoe (01:07:06):
god.
That is a saint.
A saint.
Yeah, that's, I would've givenhim like a bunch of cash.
I'd be like, this feels like small

Heather (01:07:12):
town shit

Zoe (01:07:13):
though.
Yeah.
This would never happen.
Fucking happen

Heather (01:07:15):
here.

Zoe (01:07:16):
No, no.
I would always, when I lost my phonein Uber's, I would always have to go
to like North York to get it back orlike to Scarborough to get it back.
Because you were tracking it?
No, like they would text me and be like,Hey, you left your phone, or they would.
They would somehow like call, myfriends would call and they'd be
like, yeah, I have my, their phone.
Like, I'm at this address.
She can come and pick it up.
They would never bring it to me.

(01:07:36):
Right.
So I'd always have to make

Heather (01:07:37):
missions everywhere to grab my phone.
I guess it makes sense if you'rea garbage man and you're like,
well, that's my route anyway.
But that is the nicest thing.
That's small town shitI've ever heard in my life.
So sweet.
Because here I think they would just,they would just throw garbage on you.
Yeah.
And they would just liketake it and sell it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As by the way, as you should.
Yeah.
Get your, get your bag.

(01:07:58):
Um, okay.
The last one.
Hmm.
Buried.
Buried.
My great-grandmother went straightto the local dive bar after I was 17.
Totally

Zoe (01:08:08):
respect.
I mean, I get it.
Listen, I was like blackout for most ofmy grandma dying and that was really sad.
Were you okay?
When was that?
Yeah, I think I was,must have been 16 or 17.
Okay.
Did you respond to the prompt?
Is that you?
No, that wast me.
It was my grandmother,not my great grandma.

Heather (01:08:28):
Right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
To be so tragically upset thatyour great-grandmother died.
I never had a great-grandmother.
Never.
Well, of course in the lineage, but no.
You like you knew them.
Yep.
Oh, wow.

Zoe (01:08:42):
I never knew my great-grandfathers, my great-grandmother, so I knew though
now they're both dead, but I think thelast one died maybe five years ago.

Heather (01:08:48):
She lived, oh my god.
She lived

Zoe (01:08:50):
a long life to how old?

Heather (01:08:51):
90 something.
Oh my god.
Mine didn't make it like that.
Yeah.
But you know, they were poor.
Um, I think that hasa lot to do with that.
You only eat potatoes andcigarettes, I think, oh shit.
That I'm not gonna do well,potato, cigarettes and vodka.
Yeah, it is.
That makes sense to me.
Yeah, I, that makes sense to me.
Like that is the ultimate if like, andalso when people relapse after someone

(01:09:15):
dies, I'm like, I fucking get it.
Yeah.
It, it sucks it, butsometimes things are just so.
Difficult.

Zoe (01:09:24):
Yeah.
But like you just haveto be prepared for that.
Yeah.
When you're 17, you're not obviously.
No.
You just want it to go away.
Um, but yeah, it's a veryreal thing that can happen.
Mm-hmm.
At any moment.
And you just have to like know that

Heather (01:09:36):
were you going to visit your grandmother when it was happening?
Yeah.
And you were drinking.

Zoe (01:09:40):
Yeah.
I just like don't remember beingpresent with her at all at the end.
Yeah.
Because I was too like thinking about myboyfriend or the drinking or whatever I
was like wanting to do outside of that.
Yeah.
And it was probably a coping mechanism.
Sure.
But I regret it.
Yeah, of course it was a hundred percent.
But I know she's with me, she forgives me.
And same to yourgreat-grandmother as well?

(01:10:04):
Oh no, I'm talking about her, not you.

Heather (01:10:06):
Oh yeah.
I was like mine.
I, mine doesn't care.
I don't know if mine would be thrilled.
Yeah.
My mom's grandmother, noway she would like me.
Yeah.
She used to call her own daughtera cova, which means slut.
Oh.
So I don't think she would like.
Me.
Definitely not.
And then my, my dad's, I thinkmy dad's grandmother was probably
lovely, but she fell, hit her back.

(01:10:27):
She had a stroke, hit her head on the,on the tub, and then was never the same.

Zoe (01:10:31):
Oh, that sucks.

Heather (01:10:32):
Yeah.
Whoops.
Sie.
Well, okay.
Thank you guys so much forsubmitting those confessions.
'cause that was so fun.
We should do that

Zoe (01:10:41):
often.
Yeah.
Whenever we have like a big episode,we'll ask you to write in confessions.
Mm-hmm.

Heather (01:10:46):
I would love

Zoe (01:10:46):
for that to be a segment.
It is so fun.
Yeah.
We

Heather (01:10:49):
could make it a segment too at the end.
We wanna do it for Halloween.
Yeah.
Like Halloween.
Think about your stories.
What's like a crazy, it doesn't have tobe necessarily like the thing that made
you like, now I have to stop drinking.
Who gives a fuck?
It can be like so many things.
Yeah.
You know, you're still a goodperson if you have a bad past.
So like, just tell usyour weird drunk stories.
Whatever happened to you on Halloween?

(01:11:10):
We'll take it.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll go drive you to work now.
Oh, thanks.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
And I'm proud of you guys.
I'm proud of you guys.
Love you guys so much.
Thank you so much forbeing here for 25 episodes.
It's fucking crazy.
Beyond our wildest dreams.
Those podcasts don't makeit past eight episodes.
That is really good to know.
It's like 90%.

Zoe (01:11:30):
Oh wow.
Then we're making it forever then.
Hey.
Yeah.
I think this is a goodtime to buy a yacht.
Probably not yet.
You're right.

Heather (01:11:39):
Okay.
Zoe's parents are financial advisor,so Zoe said, not a yacht yet.
I said, yeah.
See it in the future though.
We're, I hope we stay friendsforever and if we ever need to go
to couples therapy, we can do that.
And that is, don't we justbox each other like men do.
Oh, fight it out.
She wants to punch me.
But we do.
That's a big conversation, Zoe and I have.
Yeah.
We're like, we've seen it happen.
Podcasts, friendships, break up.
I've seen my own family fucking mm-hmm.

(01:12:01):
Break up because of business.
I don't wanna do it.
No, you're my best friend.
We'll go a couple

Zoe (01:12:07):
therapy together.
Whatever we need to do, we will do it.
Um, yeah.
And if there's like a littletiff we'll we'll tell you and
we'll talk about it on the pod.
'cause like we, people

Heather (01:12:21):
should be allowed to look into that as well.
Yeah.
Y'all come in and say,listen, we got a big issue.
'cause Heather's beena real fucking bitch.
Probably not.
Probably not.

Zoe (01:12:28):
Okay.
Okay.
I am proud of you.
Proud of you.

Heather (01:12:31):
Bye.

Zoe (01:12:31):
Love

Heather (01:12:31):
you.
Bye
drunk.
Thanks for listening to Girl Un Drunk.
You can follow us on Instagram andTikTok at Girl Un Drunk podcast.
And or send me an email [e-mail].

Zoe (01:12:49):
I also love, so why do I love when people are bitches to me?
I'm like, oh, I see you.
Oh, I don't like it.
I kind of like, oh, I, you, you do that.
You're a little bitch.
I like it.
Okay, so that doesn't hurt you.
No, it doesn't.

Heather (01:13:00):
Okay.