Episode Transcript
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Heather (00:00):
This podcast covers
sensitive topics that may be
difficult for some listeners.
Please take care while listening.
Welcome to Girl Un Drunk.
I'm your host, Heather, and this weekwe're keeping it a little casual as Zoe
and I catch up on life, including myvery first solo sober vacation in Tulum.
Of course, like any good chat withfriends, we didn't get to everything
(00:22):
we wanted to, but hey, that just meansthere's more to talk about next time.
I hope you enjoy this little peekinto our world and get to know
us a bit better along the way.
You're listening to Girl
Un Drunk.
(00:45):
Oh my God.
Did they do this to you at the
Zoe (00:52):
No,
Heather (00:52):
they don't crack your toes?
Zoe (00:53):
They don't.
Heather (00:54):
This has become
our little ritual, Zoe.
We put our feet on my chairand I crack our little toes.
Zoe (00:59):
Oh
Heather (01:01):
hi listeners.
Welcome back to Girl On Drunk.
I'm your host, Heather.
Zoe (01:06):
And I'm Zoe.
Heather (01:07):
And we're back, baby.
Zoe (01:09):
Let's do it.
Heather (01:10):
Let's do a-
Zoe (01:11):
Welcome back, Heather
from your vacation.
Heather (01:13):
Thank you so much.
I, I'm peeling my, you look at my skin.
Zoe (01:16):
Oh, no.
Heather (01:16):
But that's okay.
Zoe (01:17):
It's so hard not to burn
when we're white as hell.
And we're stuck in Canada andthen you go on vacation in Tulum.
Of course you're gonna burn.
Heather (01:25):
It is hard.
Zoe (01:27):
It's bound to happen
you're bound to get burned.
Heather (01:28):
I've been in hibernation mode for
eight months and I'm like, hello the sun.
But that's okay.
It.
It's, um, a nice little reminderof that there is warmth out there.
Zoe (01:37):
And the warmth will be here soon.
Spring is here.
Heather (01:40):
It'll,
Zoe (01:41):
summer's gonna be so amazing.
It's always so much fun inthe summer here in Toronto.
I'm super stoked.
Heather (01:48):
Well, I wanna have a more
fun summer because I usually don't
do anything and I just like sithere and I watch everyone go by.
Zoe (01:54):
I'm pulling you outside.
Yeah, we gotta go Dundas West is right
there.
We'll do the street fest.
We'll gonna shake ass on the street.
Heather (02:02):
Perfect.
Zoe (02:03):
We're shaking that
little booty of yours.
Yeah,
Heather (02:05):
no, it's time.
I need to get myself a little Red Bullor a, you know, some sort of twisted tea.
Oh, no.
Twisted tea is alcohol.
Zoe (02:11):
Twisted tea is booze.
Well, you can't get you any of those.
Heather (02:14):
No, no, no, no.
Zoe (02:15):
We know what we're
gonna drink this summer.
Heather (02:17):
What?
Zoe (02:17):
Ice matcha.
Heather (02:19):
With milk, obviously.
Do you put regular milkin it or of the nut?
Zoe (02:24):
Reg.
Milk.
Heather (02:25):
Of the cow?
Zoe (02:25):
Of the cow.
Heather (02:26):
How's your mental health Zoe?
Zoe (02:28):
Mental health is good.
I feel like I had a greatday too with my friends.
I feel, I feel good.
Heather (02:33):
That's good.
Zoe (02:34):
Good week.
Excited for the pod.
I feel inspired and I feel, man, shitwas dark at work, but it doesn't matter.
. That's the thing.
Work is work and it doesn'tmatter in my real life.
Heather (02:51):
Are you able
to leave work at work?
Zoe (02:52):
Oh, a hundred percent.
Heather (02:53):
Oh, good for you.
Zoe (02:54):
I don't carry that shit with me.
Heather (02:56):
Oh my God.
I carry everything with me all the time.
I'm so tired.
Literally my arms are like constantlycarrying like glass bottles of Evian.
Zoe (03:06):
Well, it's because work is work.
It's not my business.
Like I care way more about this thanthe work that I'm doing over there.
Heather (03:13):
I was talking to my therapist
about this podcast and how I'm so
excited and then I'm, we were talkingabout school and I just feel so lazy
because I've always been bad at school.
Always.
I don't like it.
I don't like to do the work and I just.
I'm like, what is wrong with me?
What is the syndrome that I havefor the problem that I have where
I can't do school and I don't care?
The pro, the thing is like,I love to be at school.
(03:34):
I love to learn.
I've learned so much in thepast two years I've been there,
but she doesn't do the work.
I don't, I don't do the work.
Zoe (03:42):
Yous dos the works.
What accident is this?
Heather (03:46):
Well, I was, it's from
Julia and Julia where like they're
making a cookbook and they're tryingto kick out their third party.
Zoe (03:53):
You're good in a group of people.
I could never picture yousitting down and studying.
Heather (03:58):
Ive never done that.
But when I'm in class, I love it.
I've never loved.
The content more.
It's so exciting and it's sad andit's, I'm in, I'm in school for
mental health and addiction and we'realso learning, like we're doing a
lot of indigenous studies and allof that, so it's so interesting.
I just, I wanna be able to take theeducation and like not actually have to-
Zoe (04:20):
apply it.
Heather (04:21):
Yeah, well
I'm applying it, but
Zoe (04:22):
You're applying in real life.
Heather (04:25):
But it's an interesting-
Zoe (04:25):
You already have
the lived in experience.
Okay.
Heather (04:27):
I do.
Zoe (04:28):
So you're fine.
Heather (04:28):
I do.
And listen, I have aperforming arts degree.
Zoe (04:31):
She's a dancer.
She's a dancer.
Heather (04:32):
She'll not be using
that degree anytime soon.
But yeah, I feel good.
My mental health is prettygood this week, honestly.
And anytime my mental healthis good, I'm like, uh oh.
No.
What's coming?
Zoe (04:42):
Well, I think we're happy.
I think we're excited about this.
We feel good.
Heather (04:46):
Yeah, I do.
I feel very positive.
I feel like the women's sphereright now, the women that are
around me, all good things arehappening and it just feels positive.
I feel like we're all on the same page.
Zoe (04:58):
Yeah, we all got each other.
. And also the sun is out longer andsummer is just around the corner.
I can feel it.
Heather (05:08):
I can feel it too.
Zoe (05:08):
I can taste it.
I smell the weird smellshappening on the street again.
And that's when, you know,summer's around the corner.
So our mental healthhas never been better.
Heather (05:18):
And speaking of mental health.
I mean, we're both feeling very positive.
How do you feel now that the podcasthas come out and people are listening?
Zoe (05:26):
I feel like I've never felt like
I haven't had a reason to be so anxious
about anything in a very long time.
So the day it was coming out, obviously Iwasn't used to feeling all those feelings.
And, um, now that it's been acouple weeks, I feel so just
excited and good about it.
That first day though, I was like,oh my God, anyone can message me
(05:51):
about anything that I just said.
And that's crazy.
People are actually gonna be listening tothis and I forget that when I'm talking.
Heather (06:00):
I know.
It felt a little bit like we were inthe movie Gravity with Sandy B and.
Georgie C and we were just likerocket launch to space and float.
Like that's what it felt like to me.
I was like floating around in space.
Zoe (06:12):
Anything could happen.
I'm just very vulnerable.
I put myself completely out there.
And also, yeah, it did feel like freeing.
I was like, it feels good.
Heather (06:23):
It feels good.
It feels feels right.
It feels like the point
Zoe (06:26):
I felt naked and
afraid, but I loved it.
Heather (06:29):
Have you ever watched that?
Zoe (06:30):
Probably not.
Heather (06:31):
I can't imagine
being outside in the nude.
Well, first of all, I hate to be outside.
And imagine naked with amongstthe elements and the bugs.
Zoe (06:39):
That would be not your thing.
Heather (06:40):
That's the opposite of my thing.
Zoe (06:41):
Have you skinny dipped?
Heather (06:43):
No, never.
Not even in like in a pool.
Zoe (06:46):
Oh.
I skinny dipped with my family whenI was like 10 years old and like,
I didn't need to see all of that.
Heather (06:52):
What a fun dynamic.
Zoe (06:53):
Not, not it.
Heather (06:54):
No, I've never felt
comfortable enough in my body to
skinny dip around even my girlfriends.
Zoe (07:00):
But it's, if you were skinny,
dipping dark in a lake, no one
can like inspect your body.
You're that afraid?
Heather (07:07):
I, I always was worried that
something was wrong with my vagina
and it looked weird because, um,I've been watching porn since I was
12 and all of their vaginas are soperfect and so I had a lot of like
fear because mine isn't like a Barbie.
It's like.
A little bit like, Hey,
Zoe (07:23):
I can't wait to see your vagina.
Heather (07:26):
I'm like, we'll
just turn this into an OF.
But I, I always had like shame around itand I was nervous that it wasn't perfect.
That's also I think, whatkept me from like having sex.
Zoe (07:35):
Maybe I was fine with it
'cause that one friend of mine did
say that I had a perfect vagina.
Heather (07:39):
Interesting.
Zoe (07:40):
Yeah
Heather (07:40):
I think mine's gotten
better as I've gotten older.
Zoe (07:42):
Okay.
Interesting.
Heather (07:44):
Were you a naked family?
Zoe (07:45):
No.
Heather (07:46):
Okay.
No weren't either.
No.
No.
I don't think.
Zoe (07:48):
Just that one time, I don't
know why we were skinny to being
at my mom's friend's house.
Heather (07:51):
You all let your
freak flag flies flag.
Zoe (07:53):
Just that one time.
My parents must've been drunk.
That must've been it.
Heather (07:56):
I mean,
that is just the answer to everything.
If we can't figure out why, oh-
Zoe (08:01):
someone's drunk.
Heather (08:02):
That's what I say all the time.
I'm like, maybe people here are drunk.
There's a lot of drunk people around.
In whatever.
Zoe (08:07):
I feel like I can't even tell
sometimes when people are drunk though,
because when I was drunk, I was soobviously drunk that, um, I forget that
people can hide it better than I could.
Heather (08:16):
Some people can.
So there's a woman at the parkwho cannot hide it, and she is,
Zoe (08:21):
Does she smell?
Heather (08:22):
And she like is so thrilled to
be there when she's drinking and like.
She speaks really loudand really slow and just,
Zoe (08:30):
That sounds like a great time.
Being drunk and walking a dog.
Heather (08:33):
Oh my god, I used
to do that shit all the time.
Like, oh I couldn't do anythingwithout drinking, but I would
go to the dog park drunk.
Did I tell you that one time?
And I fell down.
Zoe (08:40):
No
Heather (08:41):
I was at the dog park and
I bent down to tie my shoe, and
as I was down there I was like-
Zoe (08:46):
I can't get up.
Heather (08:47):
I can't get up, and none
of these people know I'm drunk.
And I was like, you got oneshot at this, you gotta stand.
I stood up on a complete diagonal.
I just like fell onto therocks like all the pebbles.
And I was like, oh, oopsie.
Like lost my balance there.
It's probably just 'causeI'm not eating and I'm dizzy.
Zoe (09:05):
I'm so skinny.
Heather (09:06):
I had like two bottles of
wine already and it was like 2:00 PM
I also wanna say to our listeners.
. Thank you so much for listening andthe feedback we've gotten has been
so nice and appreciated all around.
We didn't know what was gonna happen.
We were very nervous on thatday, but I mean, my heart is like
(09:29):
so warm and it's just so nice.
I've gotten some great feedback, likesome people just reaching out from like
high school and the woodwork and all that.
And it's, it's so lovely.
And.
I was talking to one of my friends,Owen, he's a naturopathic doctor and he
was like, um, I said something, I thinkthe first episode where I said something
about you can't get healthy where yougot sick in regards to like moving.
(09:52):
And he's like, I like that and I'mgonna start saying that to my patients.
And I was like,
Zoe (09:55):
Like you were literally
changing people's eyes.
Heather (09:56):
No.
Like literally, I'm a doctor.
Obviously, like my girlfriends reachedout and they were like, this is great.
And a lot of the feedback is thatlike we sound so good together
and I'm like, okay, good.
That's what I wanted.
Because when we go out to dinner and likechat about sober stuff, it's my favorite.
And I just always wannabring people into the fold.
But did you get any-
Zoe (10:15):
I'm glad that people validated
that we're a good pairing for this.
Which was nice.
Everyone has been sayingreally positive things.
I haven't gotten anythinglike negative really yet.
Um, and I want people togive me negative notes.
I wanna learn how to make, make this-
Heather (10:30):
Not me
Zoe (10:31):
better.
No, I'm, I'm good withconstructive criticism.
Heather (10:34):
Sure, yeah, of course.
Zoe (10:35):
As long as people still think that
I'm smart while they're listening to this
Heather (10:38):
Smart and fun, and sexy and cool.
Zoe (10:40):
I would say a lot
of people I expected.
Reached out.
Reached out, and a lot of people thatI didn't expect to reach out reached
out and just, they reached out justsaying like, Hey, I am sober this many
months and this is an amazing thing.
Thank you for doing that.
And it was so cool that I'm just a someoneto come to if you're sober, you know?
(11:00):
I love, I love that.
And, um, my aunt was saying she, my auntworks at the mental illness department
of the hospital in Oakville and shewas telling her coworkers that I put
out a podcast about sobriety and theylistened to it and they would love for
us to come in and talk to the youth.
(11:21):
Talk to the mentally ill.
Heather (11:23):
We love the mentally ill,
Zoe (11:24):
We love our favorite people.
Um, and just talk about our stories.
And.
Promote the pod.
Honestly,
Heather (11:31):
I, I mean, listen.
If you're gonna be in a mentalinstitution and you have your phone, you
might as well listen to some podcasts.
No, I, I think that's so cooland like that makes me excited.
Zoe (11:42):
Well, it's because no one's
doing this you know, it comes from
a positive place and people areliking the vulnerability, I think.
Yeah, because not,they're not used to this.
Heather (11:50):
No.
And we were talking about this a bitbefore, but there are some things
that I've said already on the podcastthat I've been like, Ooh, Ariane.
Like, should I say that?
And even yesterday I was listening toepisode four and I said something sexual
that was a little like jarring even to me.
Zoe (12:06):
But you only think that because
of the other comment that you got.
Heather (12:09):
Okay.
So
speaking of feedback.
I wanna bring something up and I, I wasn'tsure if we were gonna talk about this,
but I got some feedback from somebody, aman who I don't really know, and I just
think that it is of note to talk about.
Zoe (12:31):
I hate that he started off his
comment by saying I know this is
gonna sound like I'm mansplaining.
Yeah, but I don't care.
I'm gonna mansplain this to you.
Heather (12:39):
Okay.
So I guess it's important to notethat I'll tell you the whole story.
So I was in Tulum and Iwas not talking to anybody.
I was not meeting anyone, and I was horny.
Okay.
And so there's this guy,he's a friend of a friend.
He was listening to the podcast.
We were chatting and then somehow withinthe conversation I made it like I did,
(13:00):
I brought it up, I made it sexual.
And he followed my lead and whateverwe were sexting for just all
like texting for like two days.
And that was fun.
Whatever.
It was all consensual, it was all cool.
And then he listened to thepodcast and he messaged me.
This is in the morning, Iget this Instagram message.
(13:22):
I'm just gonna read the highlights.
"One other thing was I noticed youcalled yourself slutty on the podcast.
I'm gonna mansplain something whilefully recognizing that I'm doing it.
I don't give a fuck.
I've noticed that a lot of women strugglewith the shame of their own sexuality.
It's something that is baked intoour culture and women are aware of
it, but it's almost thought of that'sjust the way it is." He also goes on
(13:48):
to say, um, "I also think promiscuityis a symptom of something bigger."
Goes onto his little story aboutlike how he feels about sex.
Um, then he says, "Wait, I haveto work and then I wanna finish
my point." Like I'm in thelurch waiting to hear his point.
Then he kind of explains to mewhy people use sex and physical
intimacy as a way to cope.
(14:09):
Um.
"Either way.
Slut is an awfully judgmental wordto use as an adult, especially when
you are describing yourself suchnegative talk after all the hard work
you've put into exploring yourself.
Anyways, that's my opinion.
You can tell me to go fuckmyself and that's okay.
"Zoe: Yeah, go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself.
Zoe (14:27):
Literally go.
We don't need that.
Yes, slut is usually a derogatoryterm, but if we call ourselves slutty.
Fuck.
That's empowering.
It's taking back the term.
Heather (14:38):
He said, "You can call
yourself a slut all you want.
I'm not telling you what to do.
Just giving an opinion" and then goeson to say, "you are an awesome person
and you are allowed to have whateversex rev you want." And then I said,
'cause I'm being cheeky, I said.
"Well, I'm only a slut for specialpeople." And then he said, "ha ha.
(14:59):
I love when you're slutty with me."
Zoe (15:01):
Ugh.
Heather (15:02):
That's the kicker.
Zoe (15:04):
Literally it.
You want.
You want her to be a slut only for you.
Heather (15:09):
It's okay-
Zoe (15:10):
But it's not to, she
doesn't wanna be slutty.
Only a slut for you.
Heather (15:13):
Oh my God.
When I got this message,I was infuriated at first.
Actually.
At first I was like, oh shit, should Inot call myself a slut on my podcast?
And then I was like, hold on.
Zoe (15:24):
It's my podcast.
Heather (15:25):
It's my fucking podcast.
And context clues, babe.
I wasn't like, and I've had sex withthis person and this person and this
person, and therefore I'm a whore.
I was like, being facetiousabout having a co-ed rehab.
And like not only that-
Zoe (15:39):
It's not like I fucked
everyone in the rehab
Heather (15:41):
And even if I did,
Zoe (15:43):
None of your business.
Heather (15:44):
Yes I started
this sexing conversation.
You went along with it, and then youcame to me and then reprimanded me for
calling myself what you already know I am.
Zoe (15:53):
And what you liked
me because I was doing
Heather (15:55):
Yes.
Yes.
Zoe (15:56):
Ah, no.
It makes me so furious.
Heather (15:58):
It's okay when
he tells me it's okay.
And by the way, I don't know this person.
We've never spoken in person.
And also like tell me I can'tcall myself something and I
will up that empty so hard.
Zoe (16:09):
I hate when people
tell me what not to do.
Heather (16:11):
He went on to tell me about his
promiscuity and like how he was using
sex to cope and like, I'm sorry, did Imake you feel bad I called myself a slut?
Zoe (16:19):
We don't feel bad
for our sexual ways.
Heather (16:22):
Nothing.
Zoe (16:23):
I don't feel bad.
Do you feel bad?
Heather (16:24):
Not in-
Zoe (16:25):
He must feel bad.
Heather (16:27):
Well, that's what I
think.
I know that like my whole lore islike throw a rock and I hate a man.
Like I will find a problem with a man.
But this is why.
And now that I'm sober, my eyes areopen and I, yes, constructive criticism
(16:47):
is one thing, but I was like, thisis a lot of shame coming at me.
And he's like, putting this stuff on me.
I feel like he has a, abad relationship with sex.
I don't know.
I don't know.
His relationship stuff
Zoe (17:00):
Sounds like it.
Sounds like he just needs to putother people down to make himself
feel better, which most guys do.
Um, it's an ego thing.
It's a man thing.
Heather (17:10):
Sometimes men make it so
obvious that like they're proving
my point and I just let them go.
Zoe (17:16):
So that is.
That's constructivefeedback that we don't need.
Heather (17:21):
It's not constructive.
It's also like, it's noteven, it's not for me.
It's not for me.
Zoe (17:27):
No.
But don't let him infiltrate your mind.
And he kind of was if he wa if youwere thinking about not putting in
something for yesterday's podcast.
Heather (17:36):
Yeah, because I'm just like,
I, I wanna present myself a certain
way, but then I have to think likethe way that men perceive me is
none of my business, to be honest.
I love how the women perceive me.
I wanna be here for the girls.
Zoe (17:50):
I'm here for the girls.
That's it.
Heather (17:51):
And listen, I
am here for the men too.
That is true.
Zoe (17:54):
If you're a good
man, I'm here for you.
Heather (17:56):
Addiction doesn't discriminate.
It doesn't.
And I get that.
And so I totally understand that.
Shitty things happen when you'redrinking or you're a shitty person.
And when you get sober, alot of people get better.
Some people don't.
Zoe (18:06):
Some people present that
they're better behind closed doors.
They're the same shit person asthey were when they're drinking.
I'm finding this a lot outwhen I'm talking to more guys
at the meetings like, oh,
Heather (18:16):
Hey, this is
an interesting point.
I do think this idea of gettingsober and becoming a better
person, yeah, it is a thing.
I'm a better person.
You're a better person.
I actively want to be a better person.
I actively have always wanted tobe a good person and I am one,
Zoe (18:34):
and it's cool to see like I am
even more evolving every six months
I look back and I'm like, oh, I can'tbelieve I did that six months ago.
I would never do that now, whichproves to me that I am still getting
better each day with my sobriety.
Heather (18:49):
Yeah, I, I would just say-
Zoe (18:51):
Making better decisions,
Heather (18:52):
I think for the girls you
have to protect yourself, especially
when you meet someone that's sober.
If you meet like a man, I'm gonnabe binary about it but if you're
a girl and you're, you just gotsober and you meet a man who's
sober, he's gonna try and guide you.
And it's just not his journey.
Like you're on your own
Zoe (19:07):
if he's newly sober as well.
sure try to figure it out together.
If he has years over you andyou're young and freshly sober.
Heather (19:17):
I feel like I'm always
gonna be hard on those things, and
that's just like also my trauma.
Like I really worry about thewomen and like the young vulnerable
sobers it for me when things arelike, oh, can you date in AA?
And the same thing with like atwork, like, can you date a colleague?
Like for me, I'm like, hard, no.
(19:38):
Only because I've seen things go socrazy and like lines are blurred and
like it doesn't keep people safe.
And I'm like, no, no dating,don't shit where you eat.
Zoe (19:48):
So some of the people at the
meetings, all they know is the people from
the meetings because they go to so many.
You know?
So they're not really exposingthemselves as much as I would
be to the outside world.
They're, they go to meetings a lot,so that makes sense why they would
date someone from the meetings.
Heather (20:03):
Um, it does, it makes sense.
Zoe (20:05):
You meet people where you hang out.
Heather (20:07):
Oh.
It just makes me nervous.
It makes me nervous.
Zoe (20:09):
It makes me nervous too.
And it's not for me.
I can't believe I haven't hookedup with the guy from the meeting.
That's, I've only made
out with one.
Heather (20:16):
Oh, that's nice.
How did, why did it not go any further?
Zoe (20:20):
I don't know, honestly.
Heather (20:21):
Were you outside?
Zoe (20:22):
Yeah, we were
making out in a library.
Heather (20:25):
Oh my God.
I like that.
Zoe (20:28):
It was hot actually.
Heather (20:28):
Where's like the most
public place, or like the most
like dangerous place you've hadsex most public or weirdest?
Zoe (20:37):
Um, I would say the best answer I
have for this is I had sex on a floaty.
Not too far off the beach and therewas like families on the beach
and I was just having sex in thefloaty out there a little bit.
Heather (20:50):
Do you think people saw?
Zoe (20:51):
Probably,
Heather (20:53):
Oh my god, that makes me nervous.
Zoe (20:55):
Yeah, it was one of the
floaties that had a bottom, so it
was kind of like a little boat.
Heather (20:58):
So you could kind of
hide yourself a little bit.
Zoe (21:01):
It was hidden a bit.
I'm sure people saw his ass on top of me.
Heather (21:06):
I had sex at this bar
called Sweet Chick in Brooklyn.
Zoe (21:09):
Nice.
Heather (21:10):
In the bathroom.
Brooklyn sitting on the toilet seat.
Zoe (21:14):
Oh yes.
Heather (21:15):
Hot.
Zoe (21:15):
Yes.
Was um, was anyone like knocking on thedoor, like saying, you're taking too long?
Heather (21:20):
Nope.
Zoe (21:21):
Cool,
Heather (21:27):
Zoe, should we
get into some sober news?
Zoe (21:29):
Let's do it.
Heather (21:30):
Now that I've
stopped yelling at the men,
Zoe (21:32):
Gimme the news.
Heather (21:33):
Okay.
This is just what we're gonna be watching.
Lucy Hale and Harry Jowsey.
You know them?
Zoe (21:38):
Yes.
Yes.
Heather (21:39):
They are together now.
Zoe (21:40):
They're together now and
they're both not drinking.
Heather (21:42):
They're both not drinking.
Lucy's been sober for a while.
Yeah, I remember her likemaybe during Covid on a podcast
talking about her sobriety.
Zoe (21:49):
Yeah, I do remember that too.
Heather (21:50):
Harry Jowsey, for
those of you who don't know
Mr. Jowsey, he started on what?
Temptation Island Or Too Hot to handle.
Zoe (21:57):
Too Hot to handle first season.
Heather (21:58):
And he was a real dickhead.
For lack of a better term.
And then he went on to likea next season of something.
Zoe (22:04):
He always says that he's
gonna be better and then he's not.
And then he says he's gonnabe better and then he is.
A dickhead even more.
Heather (22:10):
He's a real sociopath,
to be honest with you.
We shouldn't be diagnosingpeople, but he is.
Zoe (22:13):
We shouldn't trust him.
Heather (22:13):
No, don't trust Don.
Zoe (22:14):
Don't trust him.
Heather (22:15):
That's a person who like goes
on camera and then like he does something
wrong gets caught and then cries.
And says like, everyone alwaysthinks that I'm a bad person,
but I'm actually got a big heart.
Zoe (22:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
this happened five times.
Heather (22:30):
Lucy Hale seems lovely.
I don't know anything about her really,but I did just watch that movie that
she's in, it's a new movie on Prime.
It's about a serialkiller and it's so bad.
Zoe (22:41):
Okay.
I'm not watching it.
Heather (22:42):
Yeah, don't watch it.
But the headline that like caught myinterest was just like they are together
now bonding over their sobriety.
And I'm like, okay,
Zoe (22:53):
Seems dangerous.
Heather (22:54):
Here's the thing,
I know that she's sober.
He is an asshole.
And I don't trust him.
And I don't trust when men aredickheads and then they say that they-
Zoe (23:05):
Use sobriety.
Heather (23:06):
Yes.
I have a problem with my substances.
I have a problem with my drinkingor cocaine or whatever the fuck.
Zoe (23:11):
And the thing is we don't
use that to seem better, but
the guys use that to seem better
Heather (23:17):
And I see it.
Often.
Over and over again.
Especially when we see it in media.
It's like the Jax Taylor's, Jax Taylor.
That's the girl, that's the guythat we listened to last week.
Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright.
They have a podcast together andBrittany just announced she's
gonna be doing it on her own.
Because they, they'vebeen splitting up forever.
But Jax came out and said like, onthat hot mic podcast and was like.
(23:38):
Smiling like,
Zoe (23:39):
This is really hard for me to say
Heather (23:41):
This is, this is
the hardest time in my life.
Goes on to tell stories with likean actually really dangerous plot,
but kind of washes smiling overit, as if like him screaming,
Zoe (23:53):
But saying that it's
really hard for him to say that.
Well, it sounds really easy foryou to say that actually you're not
tearing up, you know, it doesn'tseem like you're hurting right now.
Heather (24:02):
Jax Taylor, a
person that's on reality TV-
Zoe (24:04):
That's why you're on reality,
because you're a bad actor.
Heather (24:07):
You haven't told
anyone about your addiction.
You've talked abouteverything all the time.
You never shut up.
I just feel like somethinghappened in there.
Well, obviously something's happening,but I bet you there's like a custody
agreement or a custody battle, and Jaxis now being like he's trying to get the,
the court of popular opinion to like him.
And this is what I mean aboutwatching the men, you have to
(24:28):
be careful because men more thanwomen, use sobriety as a cop out.
Zoe (24:34):
Well, also, Lucy's probably like, oh,
like I can fix him like he's sober now and
he's gonna be better and I can fix him.
Let him fix himself.
Come on girls.
I'm over us trying to fix these men.
I'm over it.
Heather (24:47):
It is such a thing and
it's such a theme in my life.
And probably your life and mysisters and every woman I know.
We love a project and obviously likeI'm being, again binary, but women.
But we are more empathetic.
We nurture, we care, welove, we're looking for love.
Zoe (25:02):
And even that we're sober now.
Like we still want to help people.
Like that isn't my nature.
When I see someone struggling,I'm like, even if it's a man,
I'm like, let me save him.
Let me help.
Heather (25:11):
I think also too now in
sobriety, we know the struggle.
We know how hard it is, and so whenyou meet somebody, when you meet like
a another person you're attracted toand they are struggling, you're like
I've never related more to a person.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That doesn't mean you need to starta relationship with this person.
Yeah, I, I. Yes.
Like it's, it's great to watch peoplego through their transformations, but
(25:34):
like girls, we can't pick up the pieces.
You've picked up your own pieces.
Now fly.
Don't go backwards.
I know he's hot.
I know he's tatted.
Tip to tail.
Don't.
You can have sex withthem, but like, that's it.
Okay.
Well, Zoza, this is something I saw onTikTok and I, I looked it up because
(25:57):
I saw another TikToker talking aboutit, and I was like, Ooh, what is this?
Mm, I looked it up.
This girl, they're callingher like the consumerism girl.
Basically, this girl is like,she's blonde, she's white, she's on
the phone with her mom, and she'sscreaming at her mother, everyone.
Zoe (26:14):
How young is she?
Heather (26:15):
I would say she's either
like in high school, 17, 18,
or like really early college.
Like she looks of that demographic.
She's on the phone screaming at hermom and she's like trying to buy.
The Rhoad lip glosses.
She needs two, but she doesn'thave enough money in her account.
And she's, oh my god, mom,I got like freaking out.
She's like, I need $30.
(26:35):
I need $30.
I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh my God, it's not going.
And her mom's like, I'mtrying, what do you need?
And she's like, I'll tellyou after it's an emergency.
Like not telling her what it is.
So her mom is on the phone being like, ohmy fucking God, what does this girl need?
Is like she dying.
Does she need $30 this is crazy.
And she's not telling her.
And then finally she's justlike, oh my god, my God.
It's the lip glosses.
I need that.
I need that.
And then she finally likehits and she's like, I got it.
(26:56):
I got it.
She's vibrating Zoe, if you thoughtthat was annoying listening to me do it.
It was so concerning.
Zoe (27:04):
I feel like that was me when I was
like, needed more money for booze when I
was first year of university from my mom.
Heather (27:12):
Just like finding
any excuse to get alcohol.
But this girl, I was watching herand I was like, yes, this is so
cringey and embarrassing but morethan that, this is a full epidemic.
This is a mental illnessthat she's experiencing.
It's like a shopaholic or justlike an, like a dopamine junkie?
Zoe (27:31):
Well, it's also like the Rhoad
is what she was wanting to buy.
Heather (27:36):
The Hailey Bieber lip gloss,
Zoe (27:37):
The Hailey Bieber.
I'm sure that's only a thing thatshe needs because social media
is telling her that she needsthat to fit in with her friends.
She needs the Rhoad lip gloss.
I feel like to fit in when I wasthat young it was just drinking.
I don't know.
Heather (27:54):
It just feels so out of hand and
like to have that like body reaction where
she's like clearly outside her windowof tolerance, she's like freaking out.
Zoe (28:01):
Do you think, did
it seem at all fake?
Heather (28:03):
No.
Zoe (28:03):
No.
Okay.
Heather (28:04):
No.
And you know what?
I've also had this feeling and I wonderif, because I don't drink anymore when I
shop online, I do, my body feels crazy.
Zoe (28:13):
I definitely felt that
a lot when I was newly sober.
I felt like I wanted to buy somany things, but I didn't have
the capacity to buy them all.
But I wanted everything right now.
Heather (28:21):
Like distracting
yourself a little bit.
You know, it's gonna make you feel better.
. I can like open this Amazon boxand not open a bottle of wine.
Zoe (28:29):
I love just shopping with friends.
I, it's such like a datething to do with my friends.
Instead of going out todrink, I go out and shop.
Heather (28:36):
Interesting.
I like to shop by myself.
Like when I go to Reformation,I like to go alone.
Zoe (28:41):
Do you talk to the sales
employees and make them your friends
?Heather: Best friends.
Anyways.
So your vacation.
Heather (28:46):
My vacation.
Zoe (28:47):
Did you end up telling
the management that you were
sober?
Heather (28:50):
Okay, so I just
got back from Tulum.
And I did say on the podcast Iwas gonna contact them and tell
them that I'm sober, but I didn't.
Okay.
And here's why.
Zoe (29:00):
Were you scared?
Heather (29:02):
Yeah, I felt kind of like
embarrassed and I know now like reflecting
on it, I'm like, okay, no, no, no, no, no.
I just didn't wanna be annoying.
Zoe (29:10):
A nuisance.
Is that the word?
Heather (29:12):
A nuisance?
Annoying.
However, I was like, oh, I spentso much fucking money, but.
Zoe (29:18):
So, was there booze in
the room when you got in?
Heather (29:20):
Yes.
So when I got there, there was abucket of champagne and two glasses.
Okay.
And I was like, how dare you?
The guy, the bellhop who brought my bagin, he was like, oh, do you wanna cheers?
And I was like, oh, firstof all, you were gonna,
Zoe (29:33):
So the second glass was for him?
Heather (29:34):
I was like, are you gonna
drink my champagne, you Psycho?
I was like, oh, I'm sober.
Like I don't.
And he's like, oh.
And I was like, oh, I was going toemail about it, but I just didn't.
And he's like, oh, okay.
I'm so sorry.
And I was like, no, I'm so sorry
Zoe (29:47):
I didn't tell you it.
My apologies.
Heather (29:49):
But it doesn't matter.
I wasn't expecting there to be, youknow, an $80 bottle of champagne there.
Like, that feels crazy.
Zoe (29:55):
But maybe they could have put
like a, a non-alcoholic champagne
for you if you had said something.
Heather (30:00):
And I was more concerned that
there was gonna be like those little
alcohol bottles in the mini fridge.
But next time I will, for sure.
Just to make sure.
And also like, even if they'relike, no, there's no alcohol in the
room, I'll be like, oh, perfect.
Just checking.
It's not embarrassing.
Zoe (30:16):
So did anyone ask you
for if you wanted a drink?
Heather (30:19):
The whole time.
Zoe (30:20):
The whole time?
Heather (30:21):
Well, the whole time there-
Zoe (30:23):
Everyone was asking
you if you wanted to.
Heather (30:25):
Yeah, I mean at the airport.
Right.
Like I was sitting atthe front of the plane.
I'm such a brat, but I was sittingat the front of the plane and they
bring their little drink cart.
You know what's funny?
I'm sitting on the plane, theybring their little cart around
and I heard my own voice go.
"No one would know." Thatis just my addiction.
And it's like ready atany- it's my bulldog.
(30:45):
It's ready to party.
Zoe (30:46):
It's ready at any time.
Heather (30:47):
And then, yeah, when I was at the
hotel, it was like anytime anyone would
come by they'd be like, you wanna drink?
And there was champagnegoing by the whole time.
Zoe (30:54):
And I don't know if I was saying
it like a nice place I would hope that
after one time of being like, oh, I'msober, that no one else would offer
me any champagne or alcohol, you know?
I think that seems like an inconvenience.
Heather (31:07):
Maybe being like, "oh, I'm sober'
maybe that doesn't hold the same weight
of like I am, am absolutely sober forever.
Zoe (31:13):
But your massage therapist was sober.
Heather (31:15):
Okay.
Zoe (31:15):
We'll get into that.
Yeah, we'll get into that.
So you went alone on this vacation?
. Why did you wanna go on vacation alone?
Were you hoping thatsomeone would join you?
Heather (31:25):
No.
I, you know, it's funny, before I left,my mom asked me if I was bringing someone,
and I was like, no, I'm going alone.
And then she asked me a secondtime and I was like, no.
I already said, what is going on?
Is she worried I'm gonnaget taken by the cartel?
And then I told my sister that,and she was like, no, you idiot.
She thinks you're lying to her.
She thinks you're bringing a man.
And I was like, why?
(31:46):
I told her I wasn't.
And then she-
Zoe (31:47):
I wish I was bringing a man.
Heather (31:49):
I was like,
why does she think that?
I told her no.
And she's like, oh.
You're a liar.
You're a huge liar andyou always have been.
And I was like, oh ohoh it's like, right.
I forget that sometimes that likemy, my words don't hold any weight.
Zoe (32:01):
It's easy for us to be like,
no, we've changed because I,
I can see myself changing butthey aren't that aware of it.
Heather (32:07):
I know there are.
They're also in recovery from me.
And they have to like deal with their owntrauma around it, build that trust back.
But I just wanted to go alone becauseI felt like, I don't know, turning 30
has felt like so significant to me,and I'm like, I can do hard things.
It was definitely kind of a test.
Zoe (32:25):
Was it kind of like a test?
Heather (32:26):
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, I, I know I can do it.
But I wanna do it andI just, you know what?
Since I've met you to and like you postthings on your story or you do like a,
a galentine's thing or a roundup of theyear and I, if I were to do the roundup
of my year, it wouldn't be that much.
It would be a lot of like me here.
Or like at dinner once a week withyou guys, which I love, but I'm like,
(32:48):
you know what, when I look back atthe timeline or like the archives of
my life, I wanna be like, oh I was-
Zoe (32:54):
Oh yeah, we did that.
Heather (32:55):
Like I went to Tulum by
myself once and it was really great
for me to be alone and quiet and bymyself and reflective, especially
when the podcast was coming out.
But yeah, I, I really liked it and Ido think that I might do it every year.
Zoe (33:08):
Take me through the morning of
how you prepped for your sober vacay.
Heather (33:12):
Okay.
I'm very crazy.
So here's the thing.
I am the most unorganized person untilit comes to a vacation and I will pack
Zoe (33:19):
You were very excited to pack.
Heather (33:21):
It gives me so
much dopamine to pack.
I'm like, this is the versionof myself that I love the most.
Like, everything has a label.
Everything is good.
I really just like woke up.
I went to the airport.
It was like a midday flight.
I did have Lorazepam.
Zoe (33:35):
Right.
I forgot that you,
Heather (33:37):
The Lorazepam,
Zoe (33:38):
You are the Lorazepam.
Heather (33:40):
I'm on the Lorazepam.
Zoe (33:41):
You're just like the
Lorazepam mom in The White Lotus.
Heather (33:44):
I really was.
I, so I don't,
Zoe (33:46):
She only had one single Lorazepam.
Okay.
There was one single one.
Heather (33:49):
I, and I usually
don't take anything on a plane.
I used to when I was younger,'cause I was very nervous and then
I went through all my drinking.
So once I started drinkingon planes, I was good to go.
And then after the drinkingI was like, oh, this is fine.
But all the planes startedcrashing and flipping upside down.
And so I was like your boy, a littlenervy boy, your boy's a little nervy.
Zoe (34:05):
Nervy of the ellys,
Heather (34:07):
Nervy of the ellys.
And when I'm talking about the ellys,this is what I'm talking about.
Okay.
Zoe (34:11):
The elements.
Heather (34:12):
The elements on the way back
took another Lorazepam, and then I
was texting my sister on the planeand I was like, so this thing happens
to me I would say now, once every twomonths where I have like a full anxiety
episode and I wake up in the middle ofthe night and I just am like nauseous.
I'm immediately gonna throw up.
(34:33):
I go to the-
Zoe (34:33):
Is it around your
period that this happens?
Heather (34:35):
No, it's just random and I
go to the bathroom and then I start
to pass out and I go to the floor, andthen I throw up all over the floor.
This happens to me morethan you would think.
It's like very dramatic.
And I usually call my dad
Zoe (34:48):
And it's anxiety based.
Heather (34:49):
It's anxiety, it's all
anxiety, and I never see it coming.
But I was telling my sister, I'mlike, whoa, maybe I should talk to my
doctor about these like an emergencyanxiety pill because I don't wanna
be having these anxiety attacks.
They're horrible.
Zoe (35:03):
Does your doctor know
about these anxiety attacks?
Heather (35:05):
Yeah, but I'm gonna be
honest with you, I don't know that
my doctor knows a lot about anything.
Zoe (35:11):
Got it.
Did you have any cravingswhile you were down there?
Heather (35:13):
Yeah.
Fuck.
Zoe (35:15):
What Like triggered those cravings?
Heather (35:19):
Okay.
The smell of Mexico is a trigger all off.
Zoe (35:23):
Was there like
tequila smells everywhere?
Heather (35:25):
There wasn't tequila-
Zoe (35:26):
But tequila wasn't
your really thing so,
Heather (35:28):
Well, I would take
anything to be honest with you.
Yeah, but I had cravings atnight around like 5:00 PM which
is like when my cravings are.
During the day, I was okay.
I was like, I would loveto be drinking right now.
And I, I was thinking that a lot.
I was like on the beach and I wasn'tdoing anything and I was like, Ugh.
Zoe (35:43):
Was everybody drinking around you?
Heather (35:44):
Everybody.
And every hotel like had a littlebeach club, so like they were bringing
out alcohol to everyone all the time.
And I was like, yeah, that feels nice.
But then around like 5:00PM I would get a craving.
I would order dinner, get like a gingerale, and then go to bed at like 7:30.
I was asleep early.
Zoe (36:00):
What time did the sunset down there?
Heather (36:02):
Like seven.
And then I was waking up atlike 4:00 AM and taking baths.
Zoe (36:08):
That sounds so peaceful.
Heather (36:10):
It was so peaceful and serene.
Zoe (36:12):
And the weather was good?
Heather (36:14):
Yeah, the weather was great.
I think like also with the cravings,it was a true test to be like, no,
I'm good because I'd have a craving.
I would think about it.
I would either like say it outloud or just like grab a ginger.
I was drinking a lot of Coca-Cola too.
Zoe (36:26):
It is like the ultimate test to do.
Is to do a sober vacation at aresort where alcohol is all around
you, and I'm so proud of you.
You passed.
Heather (36:35):
Thank you.
Zoe (36:36):
I'm so proud of myself too.
Would you, so you would do thesober vacation by yourself again?
Heather (36:39):
Fuck yeah.
I can do it.
It was, it was good.
The only thing was like I wasbored and boredom is a big trigger
for me, and I know it's a bigtrigger for a lot of people.
And so like being bored, thesmell of Mexico is like very,
I don't know what it is.
It's like the cars and the air.
It smells like Guatemala.
When I used to go to Guatemalaall the time, I was young.
(36:59):
And drinking like crazy.
So immediately I stepped offthe plane and I was like, whoop.
Love a glass of wine.
When I was leaving Tulum,I was at the airport.
I was in the gift shop, which is great.
Any, like a Mexican gift shop is the best.
They have so much stuff.
And, um, this woman wasn't wearingher backpack, rookie, and she turned
(37:21):
around, smashed a bottle of tequilaon the floor, and I was like six
feet away and the tequila smellwent right to the back of my throat.
I was like, oh.
Like it smelled so strong.
It made me nauseous.
I was like, okay, I can't do this.
Zoe (37:35):
So you didn't go on any
excursions, you didn't really
meet any sober friends or-
Heather (37:39):
No, no one
Zoe (37:40):
interactions?
Heather (37:41):
Ugh.
I met nobody except, um, the first dayI was walking on the beach in my bikini.
And I haven't done that ever in my life.
Zoe (37:49):
You're feeling confident.
Heather (37:50):
I was feeling confident.
I Was feeling good.
I was excited.
I was happy to be there.
It was warm and I walked past these twoguys and they smelled like the Le Labo.
I was like, you don't wearLe Labo perfume on the beach.
Okay.
Unless you're looking to be complimented.
So I walked past them and I turned aroundand I was like, you guys smell so good.
Just trying to be like fun and flirty.
And they looked at me for so long, Zoey,and one of the guys was like, okay,
Zoe (38:16):
Hate that.
Heather (38:16):
Oh my God.
It stabbed me in the heart.
I literally looked at them and went, okay.
And then I went back to my room, had likea small cry 'cause I was like rejected
publicly and then I was like fuck this.
Not a whisper of a man isgonna ruin my vacation.
Zoe (38:31):
No, guys are just like,
maybe they're not used to girls
approaching them like that.
I don't know.
Maybe they did have girlfriends, butregardless if someone compliments
you you just say thank you.
That's all you need to say.
Heather (38:44):
It's so confusing sometimes,
like men have been mean to me often
in my life, and I just don't get it.
Like, it was really weird.
I was trying to think like what that was.
I'm like, do they think I'm crazy?
Are their wives watching?
Zoe (38:58):
Who knows?
Bottom line is they justweren't nice guys and good.
They, you steer clear of them anyways.
Heather (39:05):
You know, but it did
like upset me for a second.
Like, I went back to the roomand I was like, I'm in Mexico.
I'm sober.
I'm alone.
I'm such a fucking loser.
I don't have a boyfriend.
All these people are with couples then-
Zoe (39:17):
No, it would bring me
down too, because like you that
you put yourself out there.
Which is really a brave thing to do.
Heather (39:22):
This is the conversation I
had with my therapist all the time.
I'm like, something went wrong in my day.
Why am I sober?
She's like, well thatwas a jump, wasn't it?
I don't know.
Everything, it feels, itfeels real connected to me.
Like one thing goes wrong and I'm like,honestly, what is the point actually,
but that is also being an addict.
That's being in recovery.
That's like knowing that whenyou freak out about something,
(39:45):
we can't go to our substance.
So you have to just sit with yourfeelings, control those feelings.
And I think it's easier to dealwith your feelings when you
know that you can numb it later.
Even if it's later.
But now I'm like, oh, I'll besitting with this one, won't I?
Zoe (39:59):
It did affect you.
Heather (40:00):
Yeah, it did know.
It did.
Men affect me, they affect me,
Zoe (40:04):
And that's why we are so
mad at them for affecting us
Heather (40:07):
All the time.
Next question, please.
Zoe (40:11):
We were talking about
switching your location-
Heather (40:14):
I did do that
Zoe (40:14):
on your hinge.
Did you do that the day of or didyou do that when you got there.
Heather (40:18):
I did it.
No, I think I did it on the plane.
I like switched my raya.
I couldn't figure outhow to switch my hinge.
Zoe (40:22):
Oh, and that's where
you matched with that DJ.
Heather (40:25):
I matched with this dj and
he was like, Hey, we should hang out.
And I was like, I mean,I've got nothing going on.
But then I looked through his Instagramand he was like popping and everything was
like drinking and dj, he's a DJ in Tulum.
So we didn't end up hanging out.
He never messaged me.
Zoe (40:39):
And probably for the best.
Heather (40:40):
Well I also posted
that thing on Instagram that
was like a bathing suit photo.
And I was like, body bi,anorexia, bulimia, like all
that shit, all of my trauma.
He did see it.
And I, and then I bet you he waslike, oh, I'm not looking for a girl
who's on a spiritual journey here.
This is crazy.
I want someone to be drunk.
Zoe (40:56):
No, a dJ just wants
someone to get drunk with.
For sure.
Heather (41:00):
And that was just not
gonna happen, so that was fine.
Zoe (41:02):
But you had your sexting fun.
Heather (41:04):
Yeah, I had my sexting fun.
Zoe (41:06):
And you enjoyed the sun.
Heather (41:08):
And I feel better.
I feel like more powerful thatI've like gone on a trip by myself.
Zoe (41:12):
And you feel proud of yourself?
Heather (41:13):
I do.
I can do things sober.
Like that's fine.
But you're going to Nashville?
Zoe (41:19):
I'm going to Nashville in May.
Unfortunately, I'm going to the States.
Yeah, we planned this beforethe whole state's thing blew
up, so we are still going.
Heather (41:27):
Yeah, that'll
be, I mean, it'll be good.
It'll be exciting.
Nashville's like its own little bubble.
I've never been.
Zoe (41:33):
I'm going with my family.
My cousin is turning 21and she's big into country.
I'm excited to go andwear my cowboy boots.
And I really wanna go line dancing.
I wanna go to a bar andlearn how to line and dance.
I haven't gone on a solo sober vacation.
I've only been on sober vacationswith my friends and or family.
Heather (41:54):
Well, you're, you're amongst
your friends who do drink here
in the city so you're used to it.
Zoe (42:01):
I am used to it, but it's always
different when my family drinks around me.
Also, when you're traveling, yeah,it's, it's different because my
parents, when they're traveling, they'regonna be drinking every single night.
When I'm with my friends in thecity, I'm with my friends who
drink like maybe once a week.
So when I'm on vacation, I'm around peopledrinking every single day for a week.
(42:24):
That gets to be a lot.
Um, and I just go to bed early.
And sometimes my family getslike upset that I'm gonna bed
at 8:00 AM 8:00 PM 8:00 AM
Heather (42:34):
Goodbye.
Zoe (42:35):
My parents sometimes are like,
why don't you stay up with us longer?
But it's because I can't watchyou guys drink every single night.
Heather (42:43):
But do they get that?
Zoe (42:44):
They understand it now.
Okay.
But I think they thought that, theythought that it was the same because I'm
with my friends who drink in the city.
But like I said, I'mwith them once a week.
Not every single night like a vacation is
Heather (42:56):
Also a vacation is
weird too, because I feel
like a little more no rules.
Like I, I can, I could dothings and no one would know.
Like there's just somethingabout a vacation where you feel
like you're invincible in a way.
And that's where like my, myaddiction comes in and it's like,
hello, would you like to drink now?
Or on the plane?
Zoe (43:15):
I'm gonna just like live
vicariously through my cousin.
And I'm gonna get heras drunk as possible.
Heather (43:20):
Oh good.
Zoe (43:21):
And take care of her.
Heather (43:22):
Is that a bummer for
her, that she's gonna bring
you and you're not drinking?
Zoe (43:27):
I think she knows that I'm still fun.
Heather (43:29):
Well, yeah, of course.
But do you think that she'll feellike weird about drinking around you?
Zoe (43:33):
I don't think so.
Heather (43:34):
A lot of drinking
around you all the time, eh?
Zoe (43:36):
A lot of drinking
around me all the time.
Heather (43:38):
I'm really grateful
for the non-drinkers in my life.
I'm, I went to dinner with mysister, it was her birthday.
Shout out Karen.
And she, uh, and we were sittingacross from each other and she
goes "I think I'm gonna givethis whole sobriety thing a try".
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Karen does not drink.
Yeah, Karen drinks likeonce a month maybe.
Maybe when she like goes out withher friends and she has a cocktail
(44:00):
with like the egg white stuff on top.
Karen doesn't drink and-
Zoe (44:03):
Doesn't qualify.
Heather (44:03):
No.
And she was like.
Really thinking about it.
And she was like, you know,I just think it's crazy.
Like I don't drink and then Idrink like once a month and I
feel like it shocks my body.
And I'm like, okay.
The way people, the way that non drunkstalk about alcohol it's, you guys are.
It's such squares sometimes.
Zoe (44:22):
But then just like, don't drink.
If it bothers you that muchand you clearly can go without
drinking, just don't drink.
Heather (44:27):
No, and I love it.
Like, I love when people arelike, like Ariane is the same way.
She isn't an addict, but shejust like didn't find alcohol
was beneficial in her life.
And she is like, I justdon't drink anymore.
And neither does her husband.
But I, uh, yeah, of course I'm likethrilled that like Karen doesn't wanna
drink, but I'm just like when peopledo that, when they're like, I don't
really drink, but I think I'm like done.
(44:48):
I'm like, cool.
It must be nice.
Zoe (44:50):
Must be nice to have a choice.
Heather (44:53):
I'm like, I'm over here dying.
Zoe (44:55):
I could tell that it was hard
for my one friend not to drink today,
but I'm glad that she didn't drinkbecause usually if we would go out
for lunch and be shopping around, shewould've had like at least one or two.
Heather (45:05):
Why didn't she?
Zoe (45:07):
I don't know.
I think my other friend wasn't.
So since my other friend wasn't drinking,she felt like she shouldn't either.
Heather (45:13):
You don't wanna
be like the odd one out.
You don't want to bethe only one drinking.
I loved when I would, I mean, I waslike looking for friends who would
definitely drink at lunch with me.
So God, you and me would've drankat lunch together and then we
would've ended up probably screamingat each other on the street.
Zoe (45:26):
I don't think I would
like you when we were drinking.
Heather (45:29):
Definitely not.
Zoe (45:31):
We would've got, we would've
been friends, but we would've
like fought all the time.
Heather (45:35):
I know we just had very
diff different drinking styles.
And like my drinking styledidn't support yours.
And yours didn't mine.
Zoe (45:40):
I would like be trying to
pressure you to come out all the time
and you'd be like screaming at me.
Heather (45:45):
Not always screaming.
I would just be like, I'm not going.
Or I would say, yeah, I'llgo and then I'd never go.
Zoe (45:48):
Yeah, you'd always bail on me.
And that would,
Heather (45:50):
That's how our
friendship would end.
Oh my God, I love having thislike hypothetical fight with you.
Zoe (45:55):
I know.
Heather (45:56):
I feel like this
was really good for us.
Zoe (45:58):
This was really good for us.
Heather (45:58):
I mean, listen, Zoe-
Zoe (45:59):
Let's keep it hypothetical forever,
but hypothetically we start drinking and
then we have to go to therapy together.
Couples therapy.
Heather (46:06):
Honestly, that's the goal.
That's the whole reason I'm doingthis podcast with you is so that
we will eventually just go tocouples therapy together, I guess
Zoe (46:12):
You want me to go
to therapy that bad?
Heather (46:15):
No, I just like to
do things with a partner.
I like to do things with you.
Now that you're in my life, I'mlike, what else can we do together?
Zoe (46:20):
We already started a podcast.
Heather (46:22):
I know.
Zoe (46:23):
What else?
Can we do?
Heather (46:24):
The Oscars?
Zoe (46:26):
Bring me to the Oscars,
Heather (46:27):
Or we can go on vacation.
Zoe (46:29):
Okay, let's go on vacation.
Heather (46:29):
We have a lot to do this year.
Zoe (46:30):
I think we're going to try to plan
something for us to do on Easter weekend.
Heather (46:34):
Yeah, baby.
Zoe (46:34):
So stay tuned for that.
Well, I'm proud of you.
Heather (46:36):
I'm proud of you.
Woo.
Bye
Zoe (46:38):
Bye.
Thanks for listening to Girl Un Drunk.
You can follow us on Instagram andTikTok at girlundrunkpodcast, or send
me an email at heather@girlundrunk.com.
And before we go, thank you to our amazingproducer, Ariane Michaud, and support
from her team at Consciously ProducedMartin Nunez Bonilla for the graphics.
(47:02):
Ian Sit for setting up our sound, DanielJames for the music and final edits
and our newest edition Chelsea Neilanfor the transcript and show notes.
This podcast would notbe possible without you.
See you next week
Oh,
by
(47:27):
the
way, we touched the mics a lot.
So we gotta watch that beforeAriane comes down here and kills
us.