This week on Grumpy Old Geeks, Brian and Jason stare directly into the flaming garbage barge of “the future” and discover that self-driving vehicles still can’t tell the difference between a road and an urban swimming pool. Waymo stranded robotaxis in both Atlanta and San Antonio, while Gothenburg’s brand-new autonomous bus service survived roughly one day before getting rear-ended by a tram like a lost RoboCop scene directed by Benny Hill. Meanwhile, Ferrari unveiled the Jony Ive-designed Luce EV, proving that if you give Apple designers enough money and untreated minimalist impulses, eventually everything starts looking like an uninspired bar of soap.
The AI bubble keeps inflating like a cursed parade balloon nobody knows how to land. Uber admits it’s spending fortunes on AI without being able to explain what it actually improves, Starbucks killed its AI inventory system after repeated losses to dairy products, and Google’s AI search now struggles with advanced concepts like “ignore,” “stop,” and spelling “Google.” CEOs remain committed to replacing workers anyway, with 99% expecting AI-driven layoffs because apparently nothing says innovation like firing junior staff and replacing them with autocomplete that thinks there are two Ps in Google. Meanwhile, Spotify continues its transformation into the content equivalent of a casino buffet with AI-narrated magazine articles, while Pope Leo emerges as the lone adult in the room, suggesting humanity maybe shouldn’t hand civilization over to glorified pattern-matching slot machines.
Elsewhere in dystopia, Trump Mobile exposed customer data to the open internet because, of course, it did, while the White House reportedly plans to force-install its official app on government phones in what feels like the world’s least subtle spyware rollout. Prediction markets are devolving into a legal cage fight between states and crypto gambling enthusiasts. A Google engineer allegedly made $1.2 million through insider trading on Polymarket because we’ve apparently rebuilt Wall Street out of meme apps, and researchers say your Wi-Fi router can now identify you by how your meat body disturbs radio waves. Add in SpaceX building a military sensor-to-shooter network straight out of a cyberpunk fever dream, China launching artificial embryo experiments into orbit to explore off-world reproduction, and Erin Brockovich mapping AI data centers draining entire towns' worth of water, and suddenly the most comforting thing this week might be watching The Grand-ish Tour and pretending the world still runs on gasoline and bad decisions.
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Show notes at https://gog.show/748
Watch on YouTube at https://youtu.be/1ji4EPiTgQ4
Links:
Waymos in Atlanta and San Antonio keep driving into flooded roads
Gothenburg's self-driving bus trammed on day one
Ferrari Luce unveiled: Here's the first car from Jony Ive's design house
Uber president says AI spending is getting ‘harder to justify’
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