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December 15, 2023 13 mins

How To Stop the Hurt (When Others Hurt You)

When someone hurts you, it's natural to want to lash out and hurt them back. However, this reaction is often counterproductive and can lead to more hurt and conflict. Here are some strategies you can use to resist the urge to retaliate when someone has wronged you:

Acknowledge your feelings. It's important to acknowledge your hurt and anger. Don't try to suppress your emotions, as this can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but don't let them control you.

Take some time to cool down. Before you react, take some time to calm down. This will help you think more clearly and avoid saying or doing something you'll regret later. Try taking some deep breaths, going for a walk, or doing another activity that helps you relax.

Consider the situation. Try to see things from the other person's perspective. Why did they hurt you? Was it intentional or unintentional? Was it a one-time thing or part of a larger pattern? Understanding the other person's motivations can help you react with more compassion.

Focus on communication. Once you've calmed down, talk to the person who hurt you about how you're feeling. Explain what they did that hurt you and how it made you feel. Be honest and assertive, but avoid accusatory language. The goal is to understand the situation and find a way to resolve the conflict.

Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the other person's behavior or forgetting what they did. It means letting go of your anger and resentment so that you can move on. Forgiveness is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to forgive at your own pace.

Seek support. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or counselor about what you're going through. They can offer you support and guidance as you work through your feelings.

Focus on your well-being. Taking care of yourself is important during difficult times. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. You should also do things that you enjoy, such as spending time with loved ones or pursuing your hobbies.

New Happiness Podcast episode with Dr. Robert Puff, Newport Beach Psychologist

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� Music: By Kevin MacLeod

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