April 15, 2025 • 50 mins
Ever feel like your brain can't register or make sense of information while everyone else gets it just fine? Can't think straight? You're definitely not alone.
In this episode, Renee continues to talk about the many ways ADHD messes with how we mentally process things.
Whether you miss what someone is telling you (even in conversations!), get overwhelmed by instructions coming at you, but not making sense or simply read a text completely wrong, Renee explains how executive dysfunction plays a role.
Hear about - Ways to support your brain and work *with* how it processes, not against it.
Subscribe if you can relate to the struggles of ADHD, and send a link to a couple friends who might need to hear it too!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:29):
Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with adhd.
I am Renee Allen, the host of this podcast, and I'm excited to
be here. If you're watching on YouTube, I do this with
my hands a lot. I know it's on my. My podcast art and
when we sold our house. Okay, little story here.
When we sold our house to move to Florida a couple years ago,
(00:52):
one of our real estate agents came by afterwards and said, I
want to take a picture of you and your husband with a sign that
says sold. You know, and then she puts it on her Instagram or
whatever, and I put my hand out to the.
Like this. And I don't know what else I
did. And one of my daughters said, of course that's what
you did, Mom. It's just that's how I express myself.
(01:13):
So if you move with your hands, it might be part of your hyperactive
impulse type of adhd. It's probably mine.
But anyway, I'm excited to be here. That's one of my
ways of showing it. And I'm here today to talk
to you more about why it is difficult for
(01:34):
people with adhd. I'm specifically talking about women
to process information, whether it's written, audible,
all forms, especially the hearing part, because a lot of
people give their instructions or give us information through
(01:55):
their voices by talking to us. It doesn't always make sense,
but it doesn't always make sense seeing it either.
And quite honestly, I don't remember everything that I
covered last time, but I do have a second
part ready for you today. And so if there's any crossover.
There might be, there might be. But talking about today, that
(02:19):
just the overall picture. If you have a problem processing
information, it doesn't mean that you're not smart and
that your IQ's not high. And even if your IQ isn't high.
I don't know what my IQ is. It's never like I've ever measured
or anything. But it's not a measure of intelligence.
It's not a measure of your ability to learn.
(02:42):
It's just a matter of how you learn, how
you retain, how you keep track of information that comes in.
And sometimes when you have multiple steps, lots of
information, you cannot put it in, you cannot store it or
even make sense of it in order or even take in every
(03:02):
part of it to even make order out of it.
So if somebody is explaining something to you, I talk
about the counter orders, you know, the restaurants where you
walk up to the counter and order. If it's new to you, if
you're Looking up at the counter and you're looking up at the
wall and you're trying to figure out, okay, what do you serve?
What you know, it's a Mexican restaurant, but you don't know
(03:26):
what they sell. If it's just in meals, if it's a la
carte, what the prices are. And looking, at least
for me, looking at an actual menu, they usually have it organized
better than on a wall because a wall might even have.
And here are the specials, or they just might have it grouped
differently than what you think and you're looking at all of
(03:48):
it at once. If you have a menu, you can either look at the front
or the back, or open it up and turn the page.
And places like Cheesecake Factory have What, like
a 20 page menu? The first time I went there, I was like, whoa,
this is like a book. But all of that causes your
brain to need to organize the information that's coming in.
And if it's not coming in in a way that makes sense to you,
(04:10):
then of course you're either gonna just kind of feel
scrambled in your head or feel like.
Like it might have you. It causes you to take out some
information that's not accurate and think, oh, then it must
be this way. And you might even be asking, so does that mean.
And they say no, you know, so it can be confusing.
(04:34):
And if you're out in public, if you're in a situation where
there are people waiting for you or you feel like there's a timeframe
with it, it can be stressful, it can be hard if it's your
own phone and you get a text, and especially if you see the
last part, if they read a really long one at the
bottom, you read that first and you're kind of like, wait, what?
And you look through, or you get somebody's comment in a
(04:55):
group text and you're trying to make sense of it.
For me, the smaller the space that I'm looking at,
because I don't just have a problem bringing in information that
I hear. I have to take that information that I hear,
and it's like I'm translating it into my brain so that I
can store it so I can make sense of it, so I can remember it
or at least make use of it. I may not remember it forever, but
(05:17):
I might make use of it to be able to get from point A
to point B, to be able to go down the hall, turn to
the left, and the bathrooms on the right or something like that.
So it may not be something I remember.
Forever. But just long enough with a working memory is long enough
to be able to get you to be able to do what you
need to do with it. And sometimes that's with the hearing
(05:38):
part, with just making sense of something that comes in to
your brain through listening. But with the seeing
it, it can be tricky too. It might be so
much information in an email that you just pick out a certain
part. It might be that you can read an email
and make sense of it on a computer screen because it's bigger
(06:01):
and you have wider spaces for the sentences.
This is me. If it's a narrower space like a phone,
it's. It's harder for me to make sense of it.
Although I've made mistakes with both, where I've run
on the assumption from what I read in an email or a
website or something, and I've had inaccuracies with
(06:26):
both, like, oh, didn't you read the email?
Or didn't you know? Well, yeah, I did.
But you're not always able to make sense of it from
just looking at it. And you're not always looking at it when
there's not something else on your mind.
Or now that we have mobile phones and things, you might get an
email, all that's important, but you get it while you're out
in public or you're at the store. You're checking your emails
(06:47):
because you're in line and you're thinking, just gonna check
what's on my phone and what is happening.
The distractions with your brain may affect also how much
you even remember you received that email or how much you
got from it. And the little strategy that I
use for this is if you have an email, you're not able
(07:09):
to process it in that moment for whatever reason it's on
your phone. And you know, even if you're at home, like, I need
to see this on my computer, or somebody else is talking to
you. Maybe you shouldn't be looking at your phone anyway, if
somebody else is talking to you, but you might be, but something
else is going on and you realize, oh, I can't
look at this now, or I don't have time to look into this right
(07:30):
now. This is something I need to look at this bill.
There's an error with this bill. I need to look at this when
I get home, go into the little envelope and open it
back up like it's in red because then you'll see it there later.
Or set yourself an alarm to look into that later, whatever it
is. If you can give yourself some Little notice.
It just doesn't get buried and lost because you may never ever
(07:52):
remember that that person wrote to you.
And what's funny with things like that, especially if it's a
personal obligation, if it's someone I need to write back with
which I can think of one person right now,
I will think about it when I can't possibly do it
and then I don't remember again until either just before I wake
(08:13):
up. Oh yeah, I didn't do that yesterday or after the lights
are out, I'm in bed. Oh yeah. And it's probably because my brain
is a little more relaxed and I can remember, but if I
can't act on it right then it's not very helpful.
So I did write back to that person immediately after saying,
I don't have time to respond fully right now, but I will
(08:34):
tomorrow morning. I shouldn't have said I will tomorrow morning.
That's my mistake. I'm learning this right now.
I thought I was doing a good thing by saying I'll write more
later, but honestly I completely forgot the next morning.
And yeah, and I've remembered maybe once or twice
each day since. And I'm thinking I'm considering not writing
(08:55):
back. I'm considering making either a video or an audio to
to reply because it's so much easier.
It's so much easier if you have access to Loom or
something like that. I have an app, it's a Google Chrome app
called Vento and it's a one time purchase.
I don't know if it's still available, but it's a lifetime deal.
And it's like Loom where you just have it on your browser and
(09:17):
you can record a video of yourself talking or something.
You know, like you talking with the screen or something like
that. Anyway, you can email it pretty easily.
It just has a link to it, but I think that's what I'm going to
do. But yeah, so there are a lot of things
that won't get into our brains and circumstances can
(09:37):
be part of it. But also if you have adhd, your
working memory isn't functioning the same as neurotypical people
or a lot of people. And without that you
are struggling to hold on to that information.
It's like you wrote a post it. Well, not really.
It's like somebody handed you a note because the post it is
(10:00):
supposed to stick, sometimes they fall down.
So I was going to say it's like if you read a post it and you
put it up and it fell down, but you may not Even
get to the point in your mind of writing it down in your mind,
it might be like somebody else handed you that post it and it
either never got put up or it didn't stay up because you weren't
able to hold onto that step or that piece of
information. And what is helpful is that is
(10:23):
if your brain can make a mental picture of information.
And a lot of times when people give you instructions, there isn't
a picture to go with it. If somebody's talking to you, let's
say you go to a workshop or you go to church.
If you're in a, in a group, group situation where there is a
speaker and if that person is speaking and says there
(10:44):
are five things that you need to do to be able
to wash your car, whatever it is, okay,
there's five things. They're not going to say that at church,
but anyway, they tell you there's five things to do
and you're thinking, okay, what are the five things?
And you can make a mental picture of that because they
(11:05):
might say, you know, make sure you have a hose
for your water outside. And you're like, oh yeah, hose,
I already have that check. And you can make a mental picture
of that because you're familiar with water with a
towel, with a little bit of soap, with a bucket.
That's how I wash a car. So if I were to make a YouTube video
(11:26):
about that, each thing that I would talk about is something
that you're familiar with. And you would either be able to say,
yeah, I can do that, or you might say, no, I live in an apartment,
I don't have a hose. I guess I need to drive to the car wash.
So you could figure that out in your mind right then.
But if I were to do something that was more principle based
or step based by ideas, these are the four
(11:51):
steps to build a habit. This is what you need to
do. First, you need to make a commitment.
You need to refine the idea. You need to.
Maybe I'm giving you five things, but all of those things are
in my mind. I call them like spatial.
They're not concrete. They're more of an idea than a picture.
So sometimes people give acronyms, you know, like safe.
(12:14):
You know, the S stands for this or the A stands for that.
And sometimes that's the picture is just the word safe.
But if I were to tell you a story about how
I built a habit and how I had to, I realized
there are these four things that were essential to do.
And I tell you the whole story about it.
The story is something that you can get a picture
(12:37):
of easier. You can either picture me as the person
in the book and that's doing. Doing those things, or I feel
like a lot of times people, especially women with adhd, making
assumptions here, but I feel like we are.
We have an ability to take information and apply it
to ourselves. That's why we love to talk so much, because we
(12:58):
always have things to talk about. If you're.
If you're a person with ADHD who loves to share.
Because when you hear information, you think, oh, yeah, that's
like this. Oh, yeah, that's like that.
And you apply it to what your experience is, or, oh,
yeah, my mom had that happen. And all of that is building
a picture in your mind. And it helps you understand, it helps
(13:18):
you remember it, it helps you make sense of it.
And it's just really helpful to have that picture.
You know, they say a picture's worth a thousand words.
So if you already have that picture in your mind, then you can
come up with the steps, whether the words match what the other
person said. The S that's safe starts with S.
You might have another word that's kind of same thing, doesn't
(13:38):
have to be that word. So the picture is really helpful where
just a factual verbal instruction could go in.
In one ear and out the other. You know, this is how you play
Monopoly. If you never played Monopoly for the first time, it's
nice that they have little houses and you're like, so, oh, I
can put a house here. That helps you see a picture.
But if you were just driving home with somebody, you'd never
(13:59):
played the Monopoly board game before.
And they said that we're going to play this game.
We're going to put out a board. And you're like a board, and
you're thinking of a piece of wood because you've never played
a game. Maybe you're from somewhere that doesn't have access
to things like that. Maybe it doesn't seem possible where
you live, but it is possible where a lot of people live.
So our brains need to create these pictures to make sense
(14:22):
of it. And having that ability to just create the
picture on the spot or just remember information, some people
just say it back to someone. My son is like that.
He has an amazing brain. And he is taught
something. He repeats it. He often shares it with someone else.
It's in there. It's in there. Not for me.
(14:44):
It's more like when I share it with people, then I realize
what's missing. I realize I'VE done that before, where a
friend will even tell me a story or an experience on Marco Polo.
So that's something that I can listen to again.
And then I'll say to my husband, oh my goodness, my
friend had this amazing experience. I'll start to say it to him.
(15:05):
Partway through, I'll think, I don't remember that part.
I'll go back and listen and I'll start to tell it again.
I'll realize I forgot something else.
I forgot something else. So there are Repetition is important,
but it's also important to get the information in there.
And if your mind wanders, there's another reason with ADHD that
(15:25):
while you're listening to a story, because you can make your
own connection with it that can take you somewhere else.
Or if you're curious, I get curious.
Someone could be telling me a story that's making complete sense,
and they're telling me how they swam in a creek and they jumped
off a rock. And I start to think, I wonder if that creek
was in California. And then I start to remember when I was little
(15:46):
and we used to play along the creek and we'd swing off a rope
and to the water, whatever. That can take you away, too.
As my mom would say, I could write a book about being late.
We could write a book about why we get distracted or
why information doesn't go into our brains.
But there are brain reasons, and then there are distraction reasons,
for sure. There's also the emotional side.
(16:09):
The emotional reason that if you're under pressure, if
people are saying, why can't you get this?
Like, and most people probably aren't saying that.
But a school teacher might say that.
Hopefully not. I know that sounds bad to school teachers, my
mom, my grandpa, my daughter, school teachers.
But there might be that situation where someone in authority
(16:29):
or who is wanting to give you that information is
saying, I don't know why you're not getting this.
And then that can cause you to feel
more scattered. And then you're. It's like, how's that supposed
to help you get it? I even received an email today.
I'm laughing because the people pleaser part of me doesn't
(16:53):
want to bother people. But at the same time, when
I purchase software from them or a software tool and
it's not working, and I've tried to follow the instructions.
I have followed the instructions. I've tried it a few different
ways in a few different browsers. I feel like I have the
resource kind of brain where I can be resourceful and know
(17:16):
how to do that kind of science project way as you try
all these things. And if that doesn't work, then maybe it's really
not working. Instead of it's your computer, it's your this
or that. Anyway, so I wrote to him, this man,
and I've written to him before about another tool I bought from
him a month and a half earlier. And I ran
(17:36):
into a similar problem, and it was for Pinterest.
And I like it, but one of the things that it was supposed
to be able to do, it wasn't doing on my computer.
I was getting an error code. And there was a second option that
he had, and that wasn't working either because it used to
be allowed through Google and now it's not.
So I did enough go down the rabbit hole and read
(17:58):
help articles. Oh, Google won't allow, you know, that kind of
thing. So anyway, so I wrote to him, showed him the screenshots,
tried to do everything to, you know, show proof.
And he said, oh, I'm sorry, that's not working for you.
I, I'm updating that tool so that it has
this possibility so you don't have to even use those two options
anymore. And I thought, that's great.
So a month later I get the updated version, and it's true, it
(18:20):
works well. I bought another tool that's similar for
YouTube from him and ran into the same problem
with this one part. And I thought, I wonder if he's developing
the same kind of Solution for his YouTube tool as
he did for the Pinterest tool. And if I just wait, that's going
to be happening. You know, I don't, I don't need to worry about
(18:43):
it. Or maybe that same tool in Pinterest,
I can just take this information, put it in there, and it will
work. So I tried that because I thought, you know, it's possible.
I don't want to bug him. He's, you know, he's got his own company,
he's married with kids. I read his little bio and I know, you
know, he may say, oh, yeah, it's in the works.
It's like it's a brain that just thinks of every idea.
(19:05):
So I'm, you know, I'm playing all this through my head in the
last day or two and, and, but yeah, it's
in the works, but you could actually just take that file and
put it into that, that upgrade in the Pinterest tool and it
will work. So I thought, okay, but maybe it's Pinterest specific.
I don't know, so it didn't work. It didn't work.
But. So I wrote to him to ask, and he's always
(19:26):
been really kind, and I say that because I have written to him
a few times. But I still, I look at him, you know, like he's
a family man. I don't think he has a lot of employees.
I'm making all this up in my mind. But anyway, he wrote
back today and
said, no, that won't work with the Pinterest tool and why don't
you just try using the Google option?
(19:48):
Which I didn't. I didn't tell him this time.
I didn't expect him to remember me, but I didn't tell him.
And I know that I can't use the Google tool because I ran
into that a month ago with Pinterest.
I just told him I got the error code, which I'd gotten before
with the Pinterest one. Anyway, he wrote back and said, well,
I just ran it through on the Google one and it works for me.
Can I get your file and the error code?
(20:10):
So I wrote back and said, actually, I didn't use the Google one
because that won't work for me. I don't pay for ads and it won't
work unless I pay for ads. And it's supposed to work for free.
Anyway. Anyway, I hope I'm not boring you because this
isn't a story where you can picture things.
But the part that I'm getting to is he was
a little critical and he could have just stopped.
(20:33):
You know when they say, when you're writing an email, look through
and see what you can take out and it will still get across the
same point and be more friendly. Well, he had said earlier
a few paragraphs up that apparently I was paying attention
to this email because I remember it in detail.
In one of the paragraphs, he said, you know, now it
won't work on the Pinterest tool. That's specific to the Pinterest.
(20:57):
When he wrote below. And granted, he's the software developer,
he understands the tech inside and out.
I don't. I'm just following the steps.
I feel like at my age, I'm pretty tech savvy, but that's
not my college experience. That's not my thing, that's not
my background. So he writes in his last
(21:17):
paragraph, I don't know why you would even
think it would work. I'm trying not to give away
too much on the other tool. Not like you
guys are going to find them, but I don't know why you would even
think that works. And then the next few sentences are things
I don't remember because they were more specific to that's created
(21:41):
for this and this and for this and this.
Not just it's created for Pinterest only, but it wouldn't even
work for that because of this, which was stuff that I wouldn't
know because I don't develop software.
But I just thought, huh, you think that's very kind
saying to someone who asks a question because they do say, you
know, like, there are no stupid questions.
(22:02):
At least the nice people say that there are no stupid questions
to say. I don't know why you would. Why you would even think
that. So the people pleaser, peacemaker, part of me
was thinking, I don't know, maybe I should just not
reply and not beg him. I got my answer that it doesn't work,
but I wrote and said, I just wrote back and said,
(22:24):
I didn't even try the Google one. Because when I tried it a few
months ago, I learned this. I shared what I learned before.
I didn't say, I could have said, remember, I shared that with
you six weeks ago. But I didn't expect him to know.
I didn't want to sound combative, and I just said,
I didn't try that because I know it won't work for me since I
don't run ads. And.
(22:45):
And then I also said I figured it probably just
worked for Pinterest, but I thought I should try all the options
first and see, without writing to you, and
then have you say, yeah, I'm working on it, but you could use
this one. I said I wasn't sure how it worked, and I didn't want
to take up too much of your time, but here's the screenshot with
(23:06):
the error code. Here's the file if you think you
can get that to work. And the other way.
And anyway, yeah, it kind of messed
up my morning. And, you know, we're not supposed to blame things
on other people, but it does put you in a different state
of, you know, there's an emotional sound side
(23:28):
of things that makes us less capable of doing
what we might normally do, of our brain working at its optimal,
which are optimal, may be different than someone else's.
And so when you get overwhelmed or when something takes you a
little off track, even just you're trying to figure something
(23:48):
out and someone's voice is impatient or, you
know, just, you know, it shouldn't be that hard.
I've actually seen that happen in family dynamics, you know,
like, why aren't you figuring this out?
And then they, when they explain it, they say, and this is
an adult to an adult, they say, they start saying it
(24:12):
more in slower talking down. And
that doesn't make somebody learn better by having someone talk
to them in a demeaning way. So, yeah, there's an emotional side
of doing things. And
yeah, when you go into something and you're trying to do
(24:33):
something, when you don't understand what you're doing, you're
already scattered. And so you have the option when you don't
have all the information of, well, I'll just try to figure it
out. You're at the restaurant and you're just like, okay, I don't
know where I'm supposed to order what, who I'm supposed to tell
what kind of tortilla or what kind of protein or what kind of
whatever, but I'll just start doing it.
And when you're in that state of not understanding, that's
(24:57):
not a restful state, and you're just kind of like throwing things
out and then you might be dropping things.
That's me. I start dropping things out of my purse when that's
going on. So we don't function as well when
we don't have the information. But when we don't have a
grasp on the information,
(25:18):
it might be harder, you know, to get it.
And so, yeah, so if you're someone who has
a hard time making sense of the information when you're just
hearing it and you don't have the ability to write it
down, asking questions or asking someone to spell
a word for you can be helpful if seeing that word spelled is
(25:39):
helpful. Like someone's name or a street name or a city
name, any of those things that you might need for directions.
If you have your phone, I don't use the talking part, you know,
I don't, I don't talk into my phone like I probably could to,
to pass on information. I do write things in notes in
the Notes app, and I've learned how to pin a note where
(26:02):
I can just find it, and that's helpful.
So if you don't see any words, sometimes being
able to get the words down, especially if it's on a mobile device,
because if you write it down in paper, it might, it
might be where you want it to be later on, but it might not.
Any of you who write to do lists or grocery shopping lists,
(26:25):
I don't know if people do that on paper anymore.
But as, as a teenager, as a child, I
love to Go in the store with my mom's shopping list.
I don't think I ever lost it, but as an adult.
Oh yeah, I lost my list in the store before it
got to the store, before it got to the car.
So. Yeah. And if you can, if you can
(26:47):
do repetition, if you can rehearse something with somebody, if
you can say to somebody else after someone else walks away, you
know, what was her name? Or how did she say we got there?
You know, turn to the person next to you if you're in a workshop
or a class and try to whisper and say, I
miss this. Sometimes they miss it too.
Not everyone's good at explaining, but.
(27:09):
And not everyone, you know, can receive it, but.
Yeah. So your brain processes information in its
own UIC way, and the key is finding out what works
and what doesn't. And if you're an adult with adhd, the nice
thing is you have a lot of experience as a child, you
(27:30):
might not have as much experience going into school.
And teachers, if they know you have ADHD when you're a
child and they have a good knowledge of it, they might be able
to help you with that. But I feel like as an adult you can
look back and start going, oh, yeah, no wonder that never
made sense to me. Or no wonder I showed up up wearing this
when we weren't supposed to wear that.
(27:51):
Or I showed up to a parking lot where we weren't supposed to
go, going in that side when it specifically said in the email,
don't go that way. No wonder I didn't turn in the field
trip slip on time. I didn't store that information.
It was handed to me while I was talking to somebody.
The classic one is parking anywhere.
It could be at the grocery store. I mean, somewhere like Disney
(28:13):
World or Disneyland, some big place they tell you, take a
picture of Chip and dale, lot and C5
or whatever. Take a picture with your phone so you can find it
or write it in your notes. Now I think they can even drop a
pen when you park. I haven't tried that yet.
And then you know where to go back. But if you try to
(28:33):
rely on your memory, a lot of people can't do it.
Some people totally can. Kudos to them.
Even if you go to the grocery store, I often walk out.
And I know the more I talk, the more scattered I sound.
But I often walk out not even remembering which car I have
because my car broke down a year ago and even before then.
Sometimes my dad, my dad doesn't live here.
(28:56):
My dad's on my mind right now, but sometimes my husband
would take the car or somebody else or something.
So often I come out first, I'm trying to remember, which car
did I drive here? And then did I park far away?
Where am I? You know, which parking lot am I in?
And even just walking out from teaching yoga, I have to think,
(29:16):
okay, so did I park on that side or that side?
Sometimes, it depends. In the morning, I like to park over there
because that's where the sun comes out, that time of day.
And I'll walk back to a warm car. You know, there's rationale
to it, but we have to store that information
so that we can use it later. If you're on the phone,
(29:37):
when you arrive somewhere in your car, or if you're listening
to a podcast or music or something, it's really nice
to end that call or take the earbud out, end what
you're doing before you walk away from the car.
One, you're more aware of your surroundings, which is important.
I had someone almost literally run over me.
(29:57):
Nicest guy, but the sun was in his eyes in
the parking lot. I saw him get in his car, and I had to
stop, so I let him through. And then when I was walking
in front of him, I did my all. I mean, this is just like, where
nobody is. There's just a no car, you know, six, seven cars
around. I kind of wave, like, yeah, I'm.
I'm walking. As he slowly goes around the corner of
(30:18):
this little square in this parking area.
Instead of slow, staying slow, or slowing down more,
as I crossed, he sped up because he didn't see me.
Thankfully, I didn't have something in my ear.
I wasn't looking bumbling with my keys.
I have a whole system. Get out of the car, lock it, put the key
in the thing, get out the other key to get in the building.
(30:38):
It's a key fob, so it's a whole system.
But thankfully I was watching him because he
sped up and I literally. I had to back up.
And he was so sorry and, And. And really
frightened by the whole situation because the sun was in his
eyes into the day. And, yeah, so take
(30:59):
in as much information as you can, because any little
distraction not only can make it so you don't
know where your car is afterwards, whether it's just kind of
walking around a little bit saying, is it here or there.
I had one time with the person at Trader Joe's
because I'd filled up two carts, and that was when I didn't
(31:22):
remember which car I'd brought. So I was walking and
walking and walking. I'm like, I really.
That's when it's embarrassing. Was the other person is with you?
Okay, I parked out here. I thought I parked on this and then
all of a sudden I went, oh, I didn't bring my usual car.
I brought my husband's car. But at one time I
(31:42):
was at Stanford. So Stanford, if you haven't been there, is huge,
huge hospital medical center area on the edge of campus.
And
which is important to know because this is the only time I actually
went on campus. But I arrived for a doctor's
appointment and parked in a parking garage that
(32:04):
I, that I remember doing. I was talking to my husband's
aunt on the phone and I loved talking to
her. And I knew there was a little bit of a walk between the
parking garage and the doctor's office building.
And I walked to the doctor's office building and then I
came back out and had absolutely no memory of even where the
(32:27):
parking garage was. And
I ended up on campus. I was walking around so much.
I finally, because I think I went into the parking garage, didn't
see it, went up and down, went up and down, walked again looking
for other, ended up on campus, walked back around.
It was almost an hour of walking around and.
And, oh, yeah, and it's confusing because you
(32:48):
can't even know which floor you're in sometimes as you're walking
up and down. I thought, never, never again talk
on the phone as you walk away. Nothing got stored in my brain
at all. And even the little clicking of the, you know,
to make your lights go on wouldn't work if you're not even close.
So anyway, so what can you do? What can
(33:10):
you do? Well, okay, I talked a little bit about
making a picture in your brain. And there's actually
a term for it. I call it a mental picture, but some people
call it mental mapping. And it helps you develop
that spatial relationship. You get a mental picture, a
(33:32):
map of this, then that and this and that.
Because that's what a map does. It shows you where you're going
and it shows you where you need to go.
And if you think of how it works for you to follow a map,
does it work for you? Some people it works so much better.
For me. It helps to know the steps to not just
follow a GPS that says, turn here and
(33:55):
1 mile, turn there. I like to look and see the
main roads before I go, if I'm familiar with them.
Oh, I'm going to go on that road, eventually I'm going to do
this, get at least an idea. And when they find first started
having GPS on cars and stuff. I never
actually bought the little unit like from Costco or whatever
(34:17):
when that was first. But when it actually came with a car, I
didn't like using it because it would just kind of tell
you what to do next. And it was like getting information to
my brain that I had to make sense of on the spot.
Sometimes really fast, you know, and then you get off on this
exit and then you turn right and it's like, ah, that's too much.
(34:37):
And I would, for at least a year or so I would
still print out MapQuest or Google Maps or whatever and have
the piece of paper on the passenger seat and be able to
look and see and then in two miles you'll turn right on
this and then. And it was so nice for me.
My mantle map likes to see the steps.
But if I'm looking now because all of our phones have the
(34:59):
gps,
I'll take in that information first before I go in
the car. And it's important for you to know how it works
because if it works for you to go step by step by step and not
know the whole picture, that is good.
But if you need to know the whole picture, you can see the written
instructions and you can see if the.
(35:19):
Okay, okay. Or you can actually look at the map
and kind of get the out and see the whole thing that's going
to happen. My husband, it drives him crazy if he can't see
that whole picture the whole time. And he'd much rather see
that than see the road by road. And, and not every
allows that so that he's kind of trying going like this
(35:41):
on his phone and it's not spreading out.
I'm doing the little, you know, spread out thing with your fingers.
But that's what you need to do in your brain is figure
out I need a visual guide. I need to see
it in my mind whether it's actually a map and the
dots go together, whether it's a list and even just kind
of seeing the chunks like in a trip you might do that.
(36:03):
Like for the first two hours we'll be on the freeway and then
we're going to get off on the this country road.
And so you kind of know the story of the freeway part.
Maybe I'll see some cows, you know, if it's somewhere you haven't
been and da, da, da da. After you've been somewhere you might
have a mental map that that's helpful from your memories, you
might not. It might take a few times where you go, oh, yeah,
(36:25):
this is familiar. And it is helpful.
Like if you see, oh, and there's a Shell station on the corner.
If you. In the olden days, people would say that, you know, and
then you're going to turn right on the street.
There's an old church there now. Well, Google Maps doesn't tell
you that. They don't tell you there's an old church.
Or Apple. Apple Maps. You can zoom in and see.
But even if you're using an app looking for those things,
(36:46):
if you're going to do it again, you will be more relaxed if you
don't have to rely on the GPS the whole time.
And so if it's a direction that you're going to need to
take multiple times, start to look for things like that.
When I turn here, what else is here?
Oh, there's a McDonald's. Oh, there's that.
And that can help you be more relaxed and not get lost
(37:06):
and not add more time. Oh, my goodness.
So, yeah, so just kind of seeing the whole story, the
whole how, you know, if it's steps to do something like
dye your hair or make a recipe or something like
that, it's nice to see the method. I'm
going to do this and then I'm going to put some stuff in the
(37:27):
fridge. I'm going to saute something.
This. I'm going to use the oven. You get that picture, whether
you know the specifics or not. And then it's also helpful to
see the steps. If you don't like seeing on a screen, print it
out or use your cookbook or whatever.
So what's going to happen is important.
The order it's going to happen. And if it's sauteing and
you've never sauteed before, you're new to cooking.
(37:49):
Maybe understanding that first all those things can help the
experience be a little more enjoyable.
Actually, following the steps, even if you have the information
in your mind, it is helpful if you don't have distractions.
Because as I've gotten older, if I'm not paying attention fully,
if I'm trying to talk like on a Marco Polo or on
(38:12):
the phone, that's when I make mistakes.
If I'm just listening to something like a podcast, a TV show
or something, I'm good that I've forgotten.
Salt. I make bread. Salt makes it not rise
as well or makes it rise too much and it doesn't
taste very good. And so I end up Salting the bread afterwards
because I don't want to waste it. I haven't forgotten yeast,
(38:33):
thankfully. I've forgotten sugar. And I don't know,
it's. Yeah, it's lame. Yeah. Teach you things
like that? Or have you ever done a
load of laundry and realized you never put laundry soap in?
I started doing that with a dishwasher yesterday.
And then I opened it, put something else up, and then I thought,
(38:55):
I don't see any bubbles. I think I forgot the dishwashing
little packet. But yeah. So, yeah, learning how you
remember and you know, and people talk about.
Some people are more auditory learners.
Some people are more visual learners.
I think all of the senses can come into play in different
(39:17):
ways. And even when I teach yoga is
so fascinating because a lot of what I'm showing
people to do or doing with them is we do this on the right
side and then we do it on the left side.
We do on the right. Left. And I usually start with
the right side. I only don't have one class.
If I start on the left side, they can see themselves in the mirror.
(39:38):
And then that might help them know what to do without me moving
around. So I might do that. But I usually start on the right
side. But what happens is I'm also mirror cueing to them.
So if I'm telling them right, I'm doing it on my left and da,
da. And then often it's not just like, which side are we starting
with? It's which elbow just says which marker.
So a lot of times, because I know not everybody understands right,
left cues very well. And then your top arm or turn toward facing
(40:00):
the front knee or whatever it is. So I try to do those
kinds of things for different kinds of learners.
But what happens when I do forget and
I realize I've forgotten, It's usually because of how it
feels or what I see once. Once I
(40:21):
do it. So, like, if I'm going into a twist and I twist and
I think, no, I was looking that way last time.
We did it the wrong way. Or I feel it in my shoulder
and I'm like, oh, you know what I mean?
So there are different things that give us clues to you're
remembering wrong that we may not even think about, which
is kind of interesting. Like, it could be, you're driving, You've
(40:42):
probably experienced this. You're driving and you're thinking,
wait, this looks strong. That's a good indication too.
Good indication. So anyway. Oh, my goodness, I
have no idea how long I've been talking.
I I think I've told you now that I'm using different software
and stuff it. Let's see if this tells me, oh, little
longer than the past two. Not as long as some.
(41:05):
But yeah, I. There. There are a lot
of ways to remember information that you're trying to
process. And I'll talk about that on episode because.
And I'm talking more long term. Like if you're in school or
if you want to be good at something, you want to be
able to remember it and get better at it and take that
(41:29):
information. Like for teaching yoga, I really wanted to learn
about anatomy and I've tried lots of ways and I do
learn it and understand it. But I've come to the conclusion that
that's just not the kind of information that I have at my fingertips
in my brain. It's just not. Not. It's just not.
I've done presentations on the shoulder girdle to learn all
(41:50):
the bones and muscles. I knew it while I did it.
I knew it while I prepared it. I don't know any of it now, except
for. This is called acromion process.
You can't see it. I gotta move. Okay, so right here, okay.
If you lift your arm up straight up from.
From the front, there's a bone at the front
(42:11):
of the shoulder girdle that points forward like a.
Like a bird beak. And some of them are curved like that
kind of bird beak. Some of them are more straight and
go straight forward. Some point up a little bit.
Our bone structure is different. Acromion process.
I think I remember that one because it was just so
(42:33):
fascinating to learn that when people are trying to lift both
arms up over their head, some people can go back because they
don't have that bone stopping it from happening.
At some point, the bones are stopping your body from being like,
you know, like goo, like a slime or I
want to say a jelly that nobody knows.
They're not really called jellyfish, they're called jellies.
(42:53):
If you live near the Monterey, I wouldn't say nobody knows.
But Monterey Bay Aquarium, they teach us that they're jellies.
And yet people still say jellyfish. But anyway, if you wanted
to be more like that, you wouldn't have bones.
So you have your bones to stop your arm from doing things it
shouldn't do. But it stops in different places in our bones
and our hips, even our ankles, different places from how
(43:16):
our bones are shaped. So I remember that one because if your
chromium process points downward or really curved downward and
you can't get your arms straight up over your head.
That may be why you could practice yoga for a million years.
And you're going to be nice and open and, you know, feel good
in your tissues, but not feel bad that your arms don't go up
as high as somebody else's because it affects how you do back
(43:38):
bends and all kinds of things, which is kind of fascinating.
So, yeah, if you're curious about something enough, maybe you'll
remember. But I tried everything with anatomy.
I took online courses where I could listen, watch, stand up,
do, and I even bought a book, which I love,
if you want to learn about the anatomy.
And maybe you could do this better, but I just didn't have the
patience to finish it. But it's called the Anatomy Coloring Book.
(44:01):
It's on Amazon. And what's cool is if you want to
learn about every tip, tissue, every bone, every everything,
it not only has it there for you, but you can
color it and then you can. They have all
the words for it written in balloon letters.
So you can actually color every single letter and say it
(44:24):
while you're doing it. And it does help, but I just didn't.
It just was a lot. I should bring that to church.
That could be my coloring book. Maybe it would help.
I think I loaned it to my daughter when she was taking anatomy,
and I think she's finished that class, so I'll ask her if she
has it. But yeah, it might work for you, or you might
actually complete it if you really need to learn anatomy for
whatever your schooling is, your career.
(44:46):
I didn't have to know anatomy to that point for yoga,
but I wanted to because I saw other teachers where that was
their strength. And I thought, I want to do that,
too. You know, I was smart in school.
I got good grades. I can't remember that.
I just can't. Yeah. But I know
(45:07):
what it feels like to open in my shoulders.
And really none of the people in my classes care if I know
all that stuff. I just wanted to know it.
So, yeah, I guess that is it
for today. I'm still working on my website.
If you ever go there, it's not like you're all just leaving
the podcast and going to my website, but if you want to
(45:28):
see it, if you want to see what a website template looks like
before people complete it, that's what I'm doing.
It's stillrene-allen.com. i don't even have the podcast page
set up. And all my podcasts go there now, I think.
But just Go to your favorite place and look.
You know, you can, you know where to find podcasts.
You're not the person who's trying to find me through that page,
(45:50):
but it's. It's a lot. I'm working through
it, though, making progress one tiny, tiny, tiny
step at a time. So I hope you don't feel frustrated and
I hope you. I hope you, you can
find little connect the dot moments for yourself in
(46:12):
how do I learn? What do I learn? Well, and
in the things that are hard. In what situations are they hard?
What kind of information is hard? And what can I do to make
that not so I can learn everything. You know, you might
give yourself a pass, like I have with anatomy.
I even have an app where it shows in 3D.
(46:33):
It's another one that's fascinating because you can take off
layers, like the skin and you can take off layers and see the
muscles take off layers and see the bones.
I've tried it all. But you can give yourself a
pass. Like, it's okay if I don't know this, even if I still want
to learn about it and I find it fascinating, I don't have
to retain it. Or if I want to retain it,
(46:55):
I need to retain it. What is a way that can
be helpful to me? What can I do so I'm
not frustrated? And recognize that when you're out in public,
it is harder. It is harder when there's eyes on you and children.
Like, if you have teenagers or young adult kids, sometimes they
get frustrated with you too. You know, mom, actually, they've
(47:18):
been more understanding since they know I have adhd, so that's
nice. I know. There is one more thing.
After every episode I think of, oh, I should
have said this. I would have loved to have included that.
And I started making a Google Doc with some of those things,
so there'll be new episodes. But, yeah.
(47:42):
I just want you to know it's not just you and it
is how your brain works. And your brain does work.
It's just in a different way. And finding the way that
it works for you is the most important thing.
Or giving yourself a break when it didn't work out so well and
people are watching and wondering. So thank you
(48:04):
so much for being here today. I really appreciate it.
I'm liking the sitting back on the couch thing and I
appreciate you being here. I think I'm going to have a new
strategy for YouTube where the YouTube video.
I was releasing the video before the podcast episode just because
I couldn't wait. I was kind of excited about it, but I just read
(48:26):
that your video does better. Just a little tip for any ADHD
youtubers out there. I wouldn't say I just read it, I
heard it, I watched it on a YouTube podcast.
But I really have a hard time taking in information from a YouTube
podcast. I sometimes I take the transcription and
read the steps, the bullet points. But basically if you schedule
(48:48):
it to send 24 hours or later afterwards YouTube finds the
place to put it that's the most available to the
people that would want to see your video.
So I'm probably going to give that another day for that to post.
But my actual podcast that just has the audio will still
go to YouTube because it does from my podcast send or company,
(49:11):
whatever kind of company you call it.
But yeah, thank you and I'll be back in a
couple days. So I. I keep going back and forth
Monday and Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Thursday.
I have adhd, so it might be a little bit of all of the above,
but I do want to have an episode out for you two times a
week. So thanks for being here. I will talk to you
(49:33):
again. Let me know if you ever have any questions.
You can DM me on Instagram. I know my website's not working well
right now. You could also write to me renespire
and I'm happy to talk about things that might interest you or
you might have questions about. So I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
(50:07):
A
time for a
rewind like run out of time to sing
(50:30):
Melodies and harmony knees I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me.
Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with adhd.
I am Renee Allen, the host of this podcast, and I'm excited to
be here. If you're watching on YouTube, I do this with
my hands a lot. I know it's on my. My podcast art and
when we sold our house. Okay, little story here.
When we sold our house to move to Florida a couple years ago,
(00:52):
one of our real estate agents came by afterwards and said, I
want to take a picture of you and your husband with a sign that
says sold. You know, and then she puts it on her Instagram or
whatever, and I put my hand out to the.
Like this. And I don't know what else I
did. And one of my daughters said, of course that's what
you did, Mom. It's just that's how I express myself.
(01:13):
So if you move with your hands, it might be part of your hyperactive
impulse type of adhd. It's probably mine.
But anyway, I'm excited to be here. That's one of my
ways of showing it. And I'm here today to talk
to you more about why it is difficult for
(01:34):
people with adhd. I'm specifically talking about women
to process information, whether it's written, audible,
all forms, especially the hearing part, because a lot of
people give their instructions or give us information through
(01:55):
their voices by talking to us. It doesn't always make sense,
but it doesn't always make sense seeing it either.
And quite honestly, I don't remember everything that I
covered last time, but I do have a second
part ready for you today. And so if there's any crossover.
There might be, there might be. But talking about today, that
(02:19):
just the overall picture. If you have a problem processing
information, it doesn't mean that you're not smart and
that your IQ's not high. And even if your IQ isn't high.
I don't know what my IQ is. It's never like I've ever measured
or anything. But it's not a measure of intelligence.
It's not a measure of your ability to learn.
(02:42):
It's just a matter of how you learn, how
you retain, how you keep track of information that comes in.
And sometimes when you have multiple steps, lots of
information, you cannot put it in, you cannot store it or
even make sense of it in order or even take in every
(03:02):
part of it to even make order out of it.
So if somebody is explaining something to you, I talk
about the counter orders, you know, the restaurants where you
walk up to the counter and order. If it's new to you, if
you're Looking up at the counter and you're looking up at the
wall and you're trying to figure out, okay, what do you serve?
What you know, it's a Mexican restaurant, but you don't know
(03:26):
what they sell. If it's just in meals, if it's a la
carte, what the prices are. And looking, at least
for me, looking at an actual menu, they usually have it organized
better than on a wall because a wall might even have.
And here are the specials, or they just might have it grouped
differently than what you think and you're looking at all of
(03:48):
it at once. If you have a menu, you can either look at the front
or the back, or open it up and turn the page.
And places like Cheesecake Factory have What, like
a 20 page menu? The first time I went there, I was like, whoa,
this is like a book. But all of that causes your
brain to need to organize the information that's coming in.
And if it's not coming in in a way that makes sense to you,
(04:10):
then of course you're either gonna just kind of feel
scrambled in your head or feel like.
Like it might have you. It causes you to take out some
information that's not accurate and think, oh, then it must
be this way. And you might even be asking, so does that mean.
And they say no, you know, so it can be confusing.
(04:34):
And if you're out in public, if you're in a situation where
there are people waiting for you or you feel like there's a timeframe
with it, it can be stressful, it can be hard if it's your
own phone and you get a text, and especially if you see the
last part, if they read a really long one at the
bottom, you read that first and you're kind of like, wait, what?
And you look through, or you get somebody's comment in a
(04:55):
group text and you're trying to make sense of it.
For me, the smaller the space that I'm looking at,
because I don't just have a problem bringing in information that
I hear. I have to take that information that I hear,
and it's like I'm translating it into my brain so that I
can store it so I can make sense of it, so I can remember it
or at least make use of it. I may not remember it forever, but
(05:17):
I might make use of it to be able to get from point A
to point B, to be able to go down the hall, turn to
the left, and the bathrooms on the right or something like that.
So it may not be something I remember.
Forever. But just long enough with a working memory is long enough
to be able to get you to be able to do what you
need to do with it. And sometimes that's with the hearing
(05:38):
part, with just making sense of something that comes in to
your brain through listening. But with the seeing
it, it can be tricky too. It might be so
much information in an email that you just pick out a certain
part. It might be that you can read an email
and make sense of it on a computer screen because it's bigger
(06:01):
and you have wider spaces for the sentences.
This is me. If it's a narrower space like a phone,
it's. It's harder for me to make sense of it.
Although I've made mistakes with both, where I've run
on the assumption from what I read in an email or a
website or something, and I've had inaccuracies with
(06:26):
both, like, oh, didn't you read the email?
Or didn't you know? Well, yeah, I did.
But you're not always able to make sense of it from
just looking at it. And you're not always looking at it when
there's not something else on your mind.
Or now that we have mobile phones and things, you might get an
email, all that's important, but you get it while you're out
in public or you're at the store. You're checking your emails
(06:47):
because you're in line and you're thinking, just gonna check
what's on my phone and what is happening.
The distractions with your brain may affect also how much
you even remember you received that email or how much you
got from it. And the little strategy that I
use for this is if you have an email, you're not able
(07:09):
to process it in that moment for whatever reason it's on
your phone. And you know, even if you're at home, like, I need
to see this on my computer, or somebody else is talking to
you. Maybe you shouldn't be looking at your phone anyway, if
somebody else is talking to you, but you might be, but something
else is going on and you realize, oh, I can't
look at this now, or I don't have time to look into this right
(07:30):
now. This is something I need to look at this bill.
There's an error with this bill. I need to look at this when
I get home, go into the little envelope and open it
back up like it's in red because then you'll see it there later.
Or set yourself an alarm to look into that later, whatever it
is. If you can give yourself some Little notice.
It just doesn't get buried and lost because you may never ever
(07:52):
remember that that person wrote to you.
And what's funny with things like that, especially if it's a
personal obligation, if it's someone I need to write back with
which I can think of one person right now,
I will think about it when I can't possibly do it
and then I don't remember again until either just before I wake
(08:13):
up. Oh yeah, I didn't do that yesterday or after the lights
are out, I'm in bed. Oh yeah. And it's probably because my brain
is a little more relaxed and I can remember, but if I
can't act on it right then it's not very helpful.
So I did write back to that person immediately after saying,
I don't have time to respond fully right now, but I will
(08:34):
tomorrow morning. I shouldn't have said I will tomorrow morning.
That's my mistake. I'm learning this right now.
I thought I was doing a good thing by saying I'll write more
later, but honestly I completely forgot the next morning.
And yeah, and I've remembered maybe once or twice
each day since. And I'm thinking I'm considering not writing
(08:55):
back. I'm considering making either a video or an audio to
to reply because it's so much easier.
It's so much easier if you have access to Loom or
something like that. I have an app, it's a Google Chrome app
called Vento and it's a one time purchase.
I don't know if it's still available, but it's a lifetime deal.
And it's like Loom where you just have it on your browser and
(09:17):
you can record a video of yourself talking or something.
You know, like you talking with the screen or something like
that. Anyway, you can email it pretty easily.
It just has a link to it, but I think that's what I'm going to
do. But yeah, so there are a lot of things
that won't get into our brains and circumstances can
(09:37):
be part of it. But also if you have adhd, your
working memory isn't functioning the same as neurotypical people
or a lot of people. And without that you
are struggling to hold on to that information.
It's like you wrote a post it. Well, not really.
It's like somebody handed you a note because the post it is
(10:00):
supposed to stick, sometimes they fall down.
So I was going to say it's like if you read a post it and you
put it up and it fell down, but you may not Even
get to the point in your mind of writing it down in your mind,
it might be like somebody else handed you that post it and it
either never got put up or it didn't stay up because you weren't
able to hold onto that step or that piece of
information. And what is helpful is that is
(10:23):
if your brain can make a mental picture of information.
And a lot of times when people give you instructions, there isn't
a picture to go with it. If somebody's talking to you, let's
say you go to a workshop or you go to church.
If you're in a, in a group, group situation where there is a
speaker and if that person is speaking and says there
(10:44):
are five things that you need to do to be able
to wash your car, whatever it is, okay,
there's five things. They're not going to say that at church,
but anyway, they tell you there's five things to do
and you're thinking, okay, what are the five things?
And you can make a mental picture of that because they
(11:05):
might say, you know, make sure you have a hose
for your water outside. And you're like, oh yeah, hose,
I already have that check. And you can make a mental picture
of that because you're familiar with water with a
towel, with a little bit of soap, with a bucket.
That's how I wash a car. So if I were to make a YouTube video
(11:26):
about that, each thing that I would talk about is something
that you're familiar with. And you would either be able to say,
yeah, I can do that, or you might say, no, I live in an apartment,
I don't have a hose. I guess I need to drive to the car wash.
So you could figure that out in your mind right then.
But if I were to do something that was more principle based
or step based by ideas, these are the four
(11:51):
steps to build a habit. This is what you need to
do. First, you need to make a commitment.
You need to refine the idea. You need to.
Maybe I'm giving you five things, but all of those things are
in my mind. I call them like spatial.
They're not concrete. They're more of an idea than a picture.
So sometimes people give acronyms, you know, like safe.
(12:14):
You know, the S stands for this or the A stands for that.
And sometimes that's the picture is just the word safe.
But if I were to tell you a story about how
I built a habit and how I had to, I realized
there are these four things that were essential to do.
And I tell you the whole story about it.
The story is something that you can get a picture
(12:37):
of easier. You can either picture me as the person
in the book and that's doing. Doing those things, or I feel
like a lot of times people, especially women with adhd, making
assumptions here, but I feel like we are.
We have an ability to take information and apply it
to ourselves. That's why we love to talk so much, because we
(12:58):
always have things to talk about. If you're.
If you're a person with ADHD who loves to share.
Because when you hear information, you think, oh, yeah, that's
like this. Oh, yeah, that's like that.
And you apply it to what your experience is, or, oh,
yeah, my mom had that happen. And all of that is building
a picture in your mind. And it helps you understand, it helps
(13:18):
you remember it, it helps you make sense of it.
And it's just really helpful to have that picture.
You know, they say a picture's worth a thousand words.
So if you already have that picture in your mind, then you can
come up with the steps, whether the words match what the other
person said. The S that's safe starts with S.
You might have another word that's kind of same thing, doesn't
(13:38):
have to be that word. So the picture is really helpful where
just a factual verbal instruction could go in.
In one ear and out the other. You know, this is how you play
Monopoly. If you never played Monopoly for the first time, it's
nice that they have little houses and you're like, so, oh, I
can put a house here. That helps you see a picture.
But if you were just driving home with somebody, you'd never
(13:59):
played the Monopoly board game before.
And they said that we're going to play this game.
We're going to put out a board. And you're like a board, and
you're thinking of a piece of wood because you've never played
a game. Maybe you're from somewhere that doesn't have access
to things like that. Maybe it doesn't seem possible where
you live, but it is possible where a lot of people live.
So our brains need to create these pictures to make sense
(14:22):
of it. And having that ability to just create the
picture on the spot or just remember information, some people
just say it back to someone. My son is like that.
He has an amazing brain. And he is taught
something. He repeats it. He often shares it with someone else.
It's in there. It's in there. Not for me.
(14:44):
It's more like when I share it with people, then I realize
what's missing. I realize I'VE done that before, where a
friend will even tell me a story or an experience on Marco Polo.
So that's something that I can listen to again.
And then I'll say to my husband, oh my goodness, my
friend had this amazing experience. I'll start to say it to him.
(15:05):
Partway through, I'll think, I don't remember that part.
I'll go back and listen and I'll start to tell it again.
I'll realize I forgot something else.
I forgot something else. So there are Repetition is important,
but it's also important to get the information in there.
And if your mind wanders, there's another reason with ADHD that
(15:25):
while you're listening to a story, because you can make your
own connection with it that can take you somewhere else.
Or if you're curious, I get curious.
Someone could be telling me a story that's making complete sense,
and they're telling me how they swam in a creek and they jumped
off a rock. And I start to think, I wonder if that creek
was in California. And then I start to remember when I was little
(15:46):
and we used to play along the creek and we'd swing off a rope
and to the water, whatever. That can take you away, too.
As my mom would say, I could write a book about being late.
We could write a book about why we get distracted or
why information doesn't go into our brains.
But there are brain reasons, and then there are distraction reasons,
for sure. There's also the emotional side.
(16:09):
The emotional reason that if you're under pressure, if
people are saying, why can't you get this?
Like, and most people probably aren't saying that.
But a school teacher might say that.
Hopefully not. I know that sounds bad to school teachers, my
mom, my grandpa, my daughter, school teachers.
But there might be that situation where someone in authority
(16:29):
or who is wanting to give you that information is
saying, I don't know why you're not getting this.
And then that can cause you to feel
more scattered. And then you're. It's like, how's that supposed
to help you get it? I even received an email today.
I'm laughing because the people pleaser part of me doesn't
(16:53):
want to bother people. But at the same time, when
I purchase software from them or a software tool and
it's not working, and I've tried to follow the instructions.
I have followed the instructions. I've tried it a few different
ways in a few different browsers. I feel like I have the
resource kind of brain where I can be resourceful and know
(17:16):
how to do that kind of science project way as you try
all these things. And if that doesn't work, then maybe it's really
not working. Instead of it's your computer, it's your this
or that. Anyway, so I wrote to him, this man,
and I've written to him before about another tool I bought from
him a month and a half earlier. And I ran
(17:36):
into a similar problem, and it was for Pinterest.
And I like it, but one of the things that it was supposed
to be able to do, it wasn't doing on my computer.
I was getting an error code. And there was a second option that
he had, and that wasn't working either because it used to
be allowed through Google and now it's not.
So I did enough go down the rabbit hole and read
(17:58):
help articles. Oh, Google won't allow, you know, that kind of
thing. So anyway, so I wrote to him, showed him the screenshots,
tried to do everything to, you know, show proof.
And he said, oh, I'm sorry, that's not working for you.
I, I'm updating that tool so that it has
this possibility so you don't have to even use those two options
anymore. And I thought, that's great.
So a month later I get the updated version, and it's true, it
(18:20):
works well. I bought another tool that's similar for
YouTube from him and ran into the same problem
with this one part. And I thought, I wonder if he's developing
the same kind of Solution for his YouTube tool as
he did for the Pinterest tool. And if I just wait, that's going
to be happening. You know, I don't, I don't need to worry about
(18:43):
it. Or maybe that same tool in Pinterest,
I can just take this information, put it in there, and it will
work. So I tried that because I thought, you know, it's possible.
I don't want to bug him. He's, you know, he's got his own company,
he's married with kids. I read his little bio and I know, you
know, he may say, oh, yeah, it's in the works.
It's like it's a brain that just thinks of every idea.
(19:05):
So I'm, you know, I'm playing all this through my head in the
last day or two and, and, but yeah, it's
in the works, but you could actually just take that file and
put it into that, that upgrade in the Pinterest tool and it
will work. So I thought, okay, but maybe it's Pinterest specific.
I don't know, so it didn't work. It didn't work.
But. So I wrote to him to ask, and he's always
(19:26):
been really kind, and I say that because I have written to him
a few times. But I still, I look at him, you know, like he's
a family man. I don't think he has a lot of employees.
I'm making all this up in my mind. But anyway, he wrote
back today and
said, no, that won't work with the Pinterest tool and why don't
you just try using the Google option?
(19:48):
Which I didn't. I didn't tell him this time.
I didn't expect him to remember me, but I didn't tell him.
And I know that I can't use the Google tool because I ran
into that a month ago with Pinterest.
I just told him I got the error code, which I'd gotten before
with the Pinterest one. Anyway, he wrote back and said, well,
I just ran it through on the Google one and it works for me.
Can I get your file and the error code?
(20:10):
So I wrote back and said, actually, I didn't use the Google one
because that won't work for me. I don't pay for ads and it won't
work unless I pay for ads. And it's supposed to work for free.
Anyway. Anyway, I hope I'm not boring you because this
isn't a story where you can picture things.
But the part that I'm getting to is he was
a little critical and he could have just stopped.
(20:33):
You know when they say, when you're writing an email, look through
and see what you can take out and it will still get across the
same point and be more friendly. Well, he had said earlier
a few paragraphs up that apparently I was paying attention
to this email because I remember it in detail.
In one of the paragraphs, he said, you know, now it
won't work on the Pinterest tool. That's specific to the Pinterest.
(20:57):
When he wrote below. And granted, he's the software developer,
he understands the tech inside and out.
I don't. I'm just following the steps.
I feel like at my age, I'm pretty tech savvy, but that's
not my college experience. That's not my thing, that's not
my background. So he writes in his last
(21:17):
paragraph, I don't know why you would even
think it would work. I'm trying not to give away
too much on the other tool. Not like you
guys are going to find them, but I don't know why you would even
think that works. And then the next few sentences are things
I don't remember because they were more specific to that's created
(21:41):
for this and this and for this and this.
Not just it's created for Pinterest only, but it wouldn't even
work for that because of this, which was stuff that I wouldn't
know because I don't develop software.
But I just thought, huh, you think that's very kind
saying to someone who asks a question because they do say, you
know, like, there are no stupid questions.
(22:02):
At least the nice people say that there are no stupid questions
to say. I don't know why you would. Why you would even think
that. So the people pleaser, peacemaker, part of me
was thinking, I don't know, maybe I should just not
reply and not beg him. I got my answer that it doesn't work,
but I wrote and said, I just wrote back and said,
(22:24):
I didn't even try the Google one. Because when I tried it a few
months ago, I learned this. I shared what I learned before.
I didn't say, I could have said, remember, I shared that with
you six weeks ago. But I didn't expect him to know.
I didn't want to sound combative, and I just said,
I didn't try that because I know it won't work for me since I
don't run ads. And.
(22:45):
And then I also said I figured it probably just
worked for Pinterest, but I thought I should try all the options
first and see, without writing to you, and
then have you say, yeah, I'm working on it, but you could use
this one. I said I wasn't sure how it worked, and I didn't want
to take up too much of your time, but here's the screenshot with
(23:06):
the error code. Here's the file if you think you
can get that to work. And the other way.
And anyway, yeah, it kind of messed
up my morning. And, you know, we're not supposed to blame things
on other people, but it does put you in a different state
of, you know, there's an emotional sound side
(23:28):
of things that makes us less capable of doing
what we might normally do, of our brain working at its optimal,
which are optimal, may be different than someone else's.
And so when you get overwhelmed or when something takes you a
little off track, even just you're trying to figure something
(23:48):
out and someone's voice is impatient or, you
know, just, you know, it shouldn't be that hard.
I've actually seen that happen in family dynamics, you know,
like, why aren't you figuring this out?
And then they, when they explain it, they say, and this is
an adult to an adult, they say, they start saying it
(24:12):
more in slower talking down. And
that doesn't make somebody learn better by having someone talk
to them in a demeaning way. So, yeah, there's an emotional side
of doing things. And
yeah, when you go into something and you're trying to do
(24:33):
something, when you don't understand what you're doing, you're
already scattered. And so you have the option when you don't
have all the information of, well, I'll just try to figure it
out. You're at the restaurant and you're just like, okay, I don't
know where I'm supposed to order what, who I'm supposed to tell
what kind of tortilla or what kind of protein or what kind of
whatever, but I'll just start doing it.
And when you're in that state of not understanding, that's
(24:57):
not a restful state, and you're just kind of like throwing things
out and then you might be dropping things.
That's me. I start dropping things out of my purse when that's
going on. So we don't function as well when
we don't have the information. But when we don't have a
grasp on the information,
(25:18):
it might be harder, you know, to get it.
And so, yeah, so if you're someone who has
a hard time making sense of the information when you're just
hearing it and you don't have the ability to write it
down, asking questions or asking someone to spell
a word for you can be helpful if seeing that word spelled is
(25:39):
helpful. Like someone's name or a street name or a city
name, any of those things that you might need for directions.
If you have your phone, I don't use the talking part, you know,
I don't, I don't talk into my phone like I probably could to,
to pass on information. I do write things in notes in
the Notes app, and I've learned how to pin a note where
(26:02):
I can just find it, and that's helpful.
So if you don't see any words, sometimes being
able to get the words down, especially if it's on a mobile device,
because if you write it down in paper, it might, it
might be where you want it to be later on, but it might not.
Any of you who write to do lists or grocery shopping lists,
(26:25):
I don't know if people do that on paper anymore.
But as, as a teenager, as a child, I
love to Go in the store with my mom's shopping list.
I don't think I ever lost it, but as an adult.
Oh yeah, I lost my list in the store before it
got to the store, before it got to the car.
So. Yeah. And if you can, if you can
(26:47):
do repetition, if you can rehearse something with somebody, if
you can say to somebody else after someone else walks away, you
know, what was her name? Or how did she say we got there?
You know, turn to the person next to you if you're in a workshop
or a class and try to whisper and say, I
miss this. Sometimes they miss it too.
Not everyone's good at explaining, but.
(27:09):
And not everyone, you know, can receive it, but.
Yeah. So your brain processes information in its
own UIC way, and the key is finding out what works
and what doesn't. And if you're an adult with adhd, the nice
thing is you have a lot of experience as a child, you
(27:30):
might not have as much experience going into school.
And teachers, if they know you have ADHD when you're a
child and they have a good knowledge of it, they might be able
to help you with that. But I feel like as an adult you can
look back and start going, oh, yeah, no wonder that never
made sense to me. Or no wonder I showed up up wearing this
when we weren't supposed to wear that.
(27:51):
Or I showed up to a parking lot where we weren't supposed to
go, going in that side when it specifically said in the email,
don't go that way. No wonder I didn't turn in the field
trip slip on time. I didn't store that information.
It was handed to me while I was talking to somebody.
The classic one is parking anywhere.
It could be at the grocery store. I mean, somewhere like Disney
(28:13):
World or Disneyland, some big place they tell you, take a
picture of Chip and dale, lot and C5
or whatever. Take a picture with your phone so you can find it
or write it in your notes. Now I think they can even drop a
pen when you park. I haven't tried that yet.
And then you know where to go back. But if you try to
(28:33):
rely on your memory, a lot of people can't do it.
Some people totally can. Kudos to them.
Even if you go to the grocery store, I often walk out.
And I know the more I talk, the more scattered I sound.
But I often walk out not even remembering which car I have
because my car broke down a year ago and even before then.
Sometimes my dad, my dad doesn't live here.
(28:56):
My dad's on my mind right now, but sometimes my husband
would take the car or somebody else or something.
So often I come out first, I'm trying to remember, which car
did I drive here? And then did I park far away?
Where am I? You know, which parking lot am I in?
And even just walking out from teaching yoga, I have to think,
(29:16):
okay, so did I park on that side or that side?
Sometimes, it depends. In the morning, I like to park over there
because that's where the sun comes out, that time of day.
And I'll walk back to a warm car. You know, there's rationale
to it, but we have to store that information
so that we can use it later. If you're on the phone,
(29:37):
when you arrive somewhere in your car, or if you're listening
to a podcast or music or something, it's really nice
to end that call or take the earbud out, end what
you're doing before you walk away from the car.
One, you're more aware of your surroundings, which is important.
I had someone almost literally run over me.
(29:57):
Nicest guy, but the sun was in his eyes in
the parking lot. I saw him get in his car, and I had to
stop, so I let him through. And then when I was walking
in front of him, I did my all. I mean, this is just like, where
nobody is. There's just a no car, you know, six, seven cars
around. I kind of wave, like, yeah, I'm.
I'm walking. As he slowly goes around the corner of
(30:18):
this little square in this parking area.
Instead of slow, staying slow, or slowing down more,
as I crossed, he sped up because he didn't see me.
Thankfully, I didn't have something in my ear.
I wasn't looking bumbling with my keys.
I have a whole system. Get out of the car, lock it, put the key
in the thing, get out the other key to get in the building.
(30:38):
It's a key fob, so it's a whole system.
But thankfully I was watching him because he
sped up and I literally. I had to back up.
And he was so sorry and, And. And really
frightened by the whole situation because the sun was in his
eyes into the day. And, yeah, so take
(30:59):
in as much information as you can, because any little
distraction not only can make it so you don't
know where your car is afterwards, whether it's just kind of
walking around a little bit saying, is it here or there.
I had one time with the person at Trader Joe's
because I'd filled up two carts, and that was when I didn't
(31:22):
remember which car I'd brought. So I was walking and
walking and walking. I'm like, I really.
That's when it's embarrassing. Was the other person is with you?
Okay, I parked out here. I thought I parked on this and then
all of a sudden I went, oh, I didn't bring my usual car.
I brought my husband's car. But at one time I
(31:42):
was at Stanford. So Stanford, if you haven't been there, is huge,
huge hospital medical center area on the edge of campus.
And
which is important to know because this is the only time I actually
went on campus. But I arrived for a doctor's
appointment and parked in a parking garage that
(32:04):
I, that I remember doing. I was talking to my husband's
aunt on the phone and I loved talking to
her. And I knew there was a little bit of a walk between the
parking garage and the doctor's office building.
And I walked to the doctor's office building and then I
came back out and had absolutely no memory of even where the
(32:27):
parking garage was. And
I ended up on campus. I was walking around so much.
I finally, because I think I went into the parking garage, didn't
see it, went up and down, went up and down, walked again looking
for other, ended up on campus, walked back around.
It was almost an hour of walking around and.
And, oh, yeah, and it's confusing because you
(32:48):
can't even know which floor you're in sometimes as you're walking
up and down. I thought, never, never again talk
on the phone as you walk away. Nothing got stored in my brain
at all. And even the little clicking of the, you know,
to make your lights go on wouldn't work if you're not even close.
So anyway, so what can you do? What can
(33:10):
you do? Well, okay, I talked a little bit about
making a picture in your brain. And there's actually
a term for it. I call it a mental picture, but some people
call it mental mapping. And it helps you develop
that spatial relationship. You get a mental picture, a
(33:32):
map of this, then that and this and that.
Because that's what a map does. It shows you where you're going
and it shows you where you need to go.
And if you think of how it works for you to follow a map,
does it work for you? Some people it works so much better.
For me. It helps to know the steps to not just
follow a GPS that says, turn here and
(33:55):
1 mile, turn there. I like to look and see the
main roads before I go, if I'm familiar with them.
Oh, I'm going to go on that road, eventually I'm going to do
this, get at least an idea. And when they find first started
having GPS on cars and stuff. I never
actually bought the little unit like from Costco or whatever
(34:17):
when that was first. But when it actually came with a car, I
didn't like using it because it would just kind of tell
you what to do next. And it was like getting information to
my brain that I had to make sense of on the spot.
Sometimes really fast, you know, and then you get off on this
exit and then you turn right and it's like, ah, that's too much.
(34:37):
And I would, for at least a year or so I would
still print out MapQuest or Google Maps or whatever and have
the piece of paper on the passenger seat and be able to
look and see and then in two miles you'll turn right on
this and then. And it was so nice for me.
My mantle map likes to see the steps.
But if I'm looking now because all of our phones have the
(34:59):
gps,
I'll take in that information first before I go in
the car. And it's important for you to know how it works
because if it works for you to go step by step by step and not
know the whole picture, that is good.
But if you need to know the whole picture, you can see the written
instructions and you can see if the.
(35:19):
Okay, okay. Or you can actually look at the map
and kind of get the out and see the whole thing that's going
to happen. My husband, it drives him crazy if he can't see
that whole picture the whole time. And he'd much rather see
that than see the road by road. And, and not every
allows that so that he's kind of trying going like this
(35:41):
on his phone and it's not spreading out.
I'm doing the little, you know, spread out thing with your fingers.
But that's what you need to do in your brain is figure
out I need a visual guide. I need to see
it in my mind whether it's actually a map and the
dots go together, whether it's a list and even just kind
of seeing the chunks like in a trip you might do that.
(36:03):
Like for the first two hours we'll be on the freeway and then
we're going to get off on the this country road.
And so you kind of know the story of the freeway part.
Maybe I'll see some cows, you know, if it's somewhere you haven't
been and da, da, da da. After you've been somewhere you might
have a mental map that that's helpful from your memories, you
might not. It might take a few times where you go, oh, yeah,
(36:25):
this is familiar. And it is helpful.
Like if you see, oh, and there's a Shell station on the corner.
If you. In the olden days, people would say that, you know, and
then you're going to turn right on the street.
There's an old church there now. Well, Google Maps doesn't tell
you that. They don't tell you there's an old church.
Or Apple. Apple Maps. You can zoom in and see.
But even if you're using an app looking for those things,
(36:46):
if you're going to do it again, you will be more relaxed if you
don't have to rely on the GPS the whole time.
And so if it's a direction that you're going to need to
take multiple times, start to look for things like that.
When I turn here, what else is here?
Oh, there's a McDonald's. Oh, there's that.
And that can help you be more relaxed and not get lost
(37:06):
and not add more time. Oh, my goodness.
So, yeah, so just kind of seeing the whole story, the
whole how, you know, if it's steps to do something like
dye your hair or make a recipe or something like
that, it's nice to see the method. I'm
going to do this and then I'm going to put some stuff in the
(37:27):
fridge. I'm going to saute something.
This. I'm going to use the oven. You get that picture, whether
you know the specifics or not. And then it's also helpful to
see the steps. If you don't like seeing on a screen, print it
out or use your cookbook or whatever.
So what's going to happen is important.
The order it's going to happen. And if it's sauteing and
you've never sauteed before, you're new to cooking.
(37:49):
Maybe understanding that first all those things can help the
experience be a little more enjoyable.
Actually, following the steps, even if you have the information
in your mind, it is helpful if you don't have distractions.
Because as I've gotten older, if I'm not paying attention fully,
if I'm trying to talk like on a Marco Polo or on
(38:12):
the phone, that's when I make mistakes.
If I'm just listening to something like a podcast, a TV show
or something, I'm good that I've forgotten.
Salt. I make bread. Salt makes it not rise
as well or makes it rise too much and it doesn't
taste very good. And so I end up Salting the bread afterwards
because I don't want to waste it. I haven't forgotten yeast,
(38:33):
thankfully. I've forgotten sugar. And I don't know,
it's. Yeah, it's lame. Yeah. Teach you things
like that? Or have you ever done a
load of laundry and realized you never put laundry soap in?
I started doing that with a dishwasher yesterday.
And then I opened it, put something else up, and then I thought,
(38:55):
I don't see any bubbles. I think I forgot the dishwashing
little packet. But yeah. So, yeah, learning how you
remember and you know, and people talk about.
Some people are more auditory learners.
Some people are more visual learners.
I think all of the senses can come into play in different
(39:17):
ways. And even when I teach yoga is
so fascinating because a lot of what I'm showing
people to do or doing with them is we do this on the right
side and then we do it on the left side.
We do on the right. Left. And I usually start with
the right side. I only don't have one class.
If I start on the left side, they can see themselves in the mirror.
(39:38):
And then that might help them know what to do without me moving
around. So I might do that. But I usually start on the right
side. But what happens is I'm also mirror cueing to them.
So if I'm telling them right, I'm doing it on my left and da,
da. And then often it's not just like, which side are we starting
with? It's which elbow just says which marker.
So a lot of times, because I know not everybody understands right,
left cues very well. And then your top arm or turn toward facing
(40:00):
the front knee or whatever it is. So I try to do those
kinds of things for different kinds of learners.
But what happens when I do forget and
I realize I've forgotten, It's usually because of how it
feels or what I see once. Once I
(40:21):
do it. So, like, if I'm going into a twist and I twist and
I think, no, I was looking that way last time.
We did it the wrong way. Or I feel it in my shoulder
and I'm like, oh, you know what I mean?
So there are different things that give us clues to you're
remembering wrong that we may not even think about, which
is kind of interesting. Like, it could be, you're driving, You've
(40:42):
probably experienced this. You're driving and you're thinking,
wait, this looks strong. That's a good indication too.
Good indication. So anyway. Oh, my goodness, I
have no idea how long I've been talking.
I I think I've told you now that I'm using different software
and stuff it. Let's see if this tells me, oh, little
longer than the past two. Not as long as some.
(41:05):
But yeah, I. There. There are a lot
of ways to remember information that you're trying to
process. And I'll talk about that on episode because.
And I'm talking more long term. Like if you're in school or
if you want to be good at something, you want to be
able to remember it and get better at it and take that
(41:29):
information. Like for teaching yoga, I really wanted to learn
about anatomy and I've tried lots of ways and I do
learn it and understand it. But I've come to the conclusion that
that's just not the kind of information that I have at my fingertips
in my brain. It's just not. Not. It's just not.
I've done presentations on the shoulder girdle to learn all
(41:50):
the bones and muscles. I knew it while I did it.
I knew it while I prepared it. I don't know any of it now, except
for. This is called acromion process.
You can't see it. I gotta move. Okay, so right here, okay.
If you lift your arm up straight up from.
From the front, there's a bone at the front
(42:11):
of the shoulder girdle that points forward like a.
Like a bird beak. And some of them are curved like that
kind of bird beak. Some of them are more straight and
go straight forward. Some point up a little bit.
Our bone structure is different. Acromion process.
I think I remember that one because it was just so
(42:33):
fascinating to learn that when people are trying to lift both
arms up over their head, some people can go back because they
don't have that bone stopping it from happening.
At some point, the bones are stopping your body from being like,
you know, like goo, like a slime or I
want to say a jelly that nobody knows.
They're not really called jellyfish, they're called jellies.
(42:53):
If you live near the Monterey, I wouldn't say nobody knows.
But Monterey Bay Aquarium, they teach us that they're jellies.
And yet people still say jellyfish. But anyway, if you wanted
to be more like that, you wouldn't have bones.
So you have your bones to stop your arm from doing things it
shouldn't do. But it stops in different places in our bones
and our hips, even our ankles, different places from how
(43:16):
our bones are shaped. So I remember that one because if your
chromium process points downward or really curved downward and
you can't get your arms straight up over your head.
That may be why you could practice yoga for a million years.
And you're going to be nice and open and, you know, feel good
in your tissues, but not feel bad that your arms don't go up
as high as somebody else's because it affects how you do back
(43:38):
bends and all kinds of things, which is kind of fascinating.
So, yeah, if you're curious about something enough, maybe you'll
remember. But I tried everything with anatomy.
I took online courses where I could listen, watch, stand up,
do, and I even bought a book, which I love,
if you want to learn about the anatomy.
And maybe you could do this better, but I just didn't have the
patience to finish it. But it's called the Anatomy Coloring Book.
(44:01):
It's on Amazon. And what's cool is if you want to
learn about every tip, tissue, every bone, every everything,
it not only has it there for you, but you can
color it and then you can. They have all
the words for it written in balloon letters.
So you can actually color every single letter and say it
(44:24):
while you're doing it. And it does help, but I just didn't.
It just was a lot. I should bring that to church.
That could be my coloring book. Maybe it would help.
I think I loaned it to my daughter when she was taking anatomy,
and I think she's finished that class, so I'll ask her if she
has it. But yeah, it might work for you, or you might
actually complete it if you really need to learn anatomy for
whatever your schooling is, your career.
(44:46):
I didn't have to know anatomy to that point for yoga,
but I wanted to because I saw other teachers where that was
their strength. And I thought, I want to do that,
too. You know, I was smart in school.
I got good grades. I can't remember that.
I just can't. Yeah. But I know
(45:07):
what it feels like to open in my shoulders.
And really none of the people in my classes care if I know
all that stuff. I just wanted to know it.
So, yeah, I guess that is it
for today. I'm still working on my website.
If you ever go there, it's not like you're all just leaving
the podcast and going to my website, but if you want to
(45:28):
see it, if you want to see what a website template looks like
before people complete it, that's what I'm doing.
It's stillrene-allen.com. i don't even have the podcast page
set up. And all my podcasts go there now, I think.
But just Go to your favorite place and look.
You know, you can, you know where to find podcasts.
You're not the person who's trying to find me through that page,
(45:50):
but it's. It's a lot. I'm working through
it, though, making progress one tiny, tiny, tiny
step at a time. So I hope you don't feel frustrated and
I hope you. I hope you, you can
find little connect the dot moments for yourself in
(46:12):
how do I learn? What do I learn? Well, and
in the things that are hard. In what situations are they hard?
What kind of information is hard? And what can I do to make
that not so I can learn everything. You know, you might
give yourself a pass, like I have with anatomy.
I even have an app where it shows in 3D.
(46:33):
It's another one that's fascinating because you can take off
layers, like the skin and you can take off layers and see the
muscles take off layers and see the bones.
I've tried it all. But you can give yourself a
pass. Like, it's okay if I don't know this, even if I still want
to learn about it and I find it fascinating, I don't have
to retain it. Or if I want to retain it,
(46:55):
I need to retain it. What is a way that can
be helpful to me? What can I do so I'm
not frustrated? And recognize that when you're out in public,
it is harder. It is harder when there's eyes on you and children.
Like, if you have teenagers or young adult kids, sometimes they
get frustrated with you too. You know, mom, actually, they've
(47:18):
been more understanding since they know I have adhd, so that's
nice. I know. There is one more thing.
After every episode I think of, oh, I should
have said this. I would have loved to have included that.
And I started making a Google Doc with some of those things,
so there'll be new episodes. But, yeah.
(47:42):
I just want you to know it's not just you and it
is how your brain works. And your brain does work.
It's just in a different way. And finding the way that
it works for you is the most important thing.
Or giving yourself a break when it didn't work out so well and
people are watching and wondering. So thank you
(48:04):
so much for being here today. I really appreciate it.
I'm liking the sitting back on the couch thing and I
appreciate you being here. I think I'm going to have a new
strategy for YouTube where the YouTube video.
I was releasing the video before the podcast episode just because
I couldn't wait. I was kind of excited about it, but I just read
(48:26):
that your video does better. Just a little tip for any ADHD
youtubers out there. I wouldn't say I just read it, I
heard it, I watched it on a YouTube podcast.
But I really have a hard time taking in information from a YouTube
podcast. I sometimes I take the transcription and
read the steps, the bullet points. But basically if you schedule
(48:48):
it to send 24 hours or later afterwards YouTube finds the
place to put it that's the most available to the
people that would want to see your video.
So I'm probably going to give that another day for that to post.
But my actual podcast that just has the audio will still
go to YouTube because it does from my podcast send or company,
(49:11):
whatever kind of company you call it.
But yeah, thank you and I'll be back in a
couple days. So I. I keep going back and forth
Monday and Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Thursday.
I have adhd, so it might be a little bit of all of the above,
but I do want to have an episode out for you two times a
week. So thanks for being here. I will talk to you
(49:33):
again. Let me know if you ever have any questions.
You can DM me on Instagram. I know my website's not working well
right now. You could also write to me renespire
and I'm happy to talk about things that might interest you or
you might have questions about. So I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
(50:07):
A
time for a
rewind like run out of time to sing
(50:30):
Melodies and harmony knees I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me.
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