September 23, 2025 • 52 mins
Do you ever get stuck and frustrated with your ADHD struggles? Playing into your strengths, even in simple ways can make a difference so life goes better.
In this episode, Renee talks about how leaning on your strengths - and sometimes on other people with strengths you don't have - can help you manage life with ADHD more effectively.
You’ll learn why shifting your focus creates less frustration, more confidence, and a better way forward.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:28):
Hello. Welcome to Inspiring Women with ADHD.
I'm Renee. I am the host of this podcast.
I'm excited to be here tonight. And I need a director.
I need someone to say, just keep going.
Don't delete it. This is like my fourth try,
so I'm going to keep going. I'm not going to delete it no matter
what. Oh, here I am. And who knows what
(00:50):
I was rambling on about before, and I thought, you don't need
to hear that, but maybe you did. Who knows?
We'll find out. I guess we'll never find out.
But today's episode is about playing to your
strengths. What are your strengths? Everyone has strengths.
And when you have challenges, if you use your advantages,
(01:12):
whatever advantages you have, rely on those, then you
have a better chance of doing well. It just makes sense, right?
So leaning on your strengths, how can you do that
when you have adhd? There are a lot of things that
can trip you up. Like if you ever have
(01:36):
task paralysis, the inability to get yourself to do
something when you want to do it, you've told
yourself you're going to do it. You set a time to do it, you
have everything set up to do it. You know you need to do
it. People might be coming, you need to do it, and you still
don't do it. And how do you get yourself to do
it? And there are a lot of ways to do that.
(01:57):
What would your strength be? What would be a way to
get out of that? Maybe a strength doesn't help with that.
Maybe you really just have to cheat the system.
Maybe your strength is you have friends.
And you tell your friends, come over and make me do this.
Work with me, help me. You find whatever tools you
have. Maybe that's your strength, is you have creativity, you
(02:19):
have resources, you think, it's not working on my own all by
myself and sue, you find a way to hack that system
of just trying to do it on your own.
One of the methods I talked about, I don't know
if it was last week or the week before, was finding the fun in
something and just doing the fun thing.
(02:39):
And that's kind of playing to your enjoyment level of
what you like, what will get you to do it.
But playing to your strengths
might be, let's say. Let's say that it's
not a task. Let's say it's something you have to make some
money. On top of whatever money you make, you need to make
(03:02):
some money. And a lot of people do that in different
ways, and maybe they don't make a lot of money.
Maybe you have a yard sale, a garage sale or something.
Maybe you know how to post things online that you can sell.
I used to sell things on ebay. I haven't done that in a long
time. And I have a laundry basket full of
things that I've wanted to put on some kind of website like Poshmark
(03:25):
or Facebook Marketplace or something.
And I haven't done it in a long time.
But if you get creative, maybe you're good at creativity.
Maybe you find a way to make it fun.
Not just fun, but it plays to what you like to do.
Like, I think in the last episode I talked about needing to
make Amazon returns or whatever story that you're buying from,
(03:48):
then you need to make those returns and you really can't get
yourself to do it. But if you find a groove, some
kind of mode or some kind of method that's been fun for
you to do before, if you can get yourself just to slide into
that, then it's like you're tricking yourself to do
it. I don't know if you've ever done that with children,
(04:08):
but you can't get them to do something.
And so let's say you want them to read a book and
they don't feel like reading a book.
But then you say, well, let's just go in here and look at your
closet. And maybe that's where the books are.
I'm just thinking back to when my kids had a closet with shelves
on it. And you just find a way to get them in that
environment that leads them to reading that book.
(04:29):
And if you find a way to get yourself closer to
something that will help you do it. Like, let's
say those Amazon returns, when I finally said, okay, you gotta
do this, and then found, well, I do like printing out the
little QR codes. I do like cutting those up and
(04:50):
putting them. Actually, this time I didn't cut it up.
Usually I cut them up and tape them to the package and have them.
And then I'm just so organized. It plays to that.
Really organized. I won't say obsessive compulsive.
It might be. It's not ocd, but there is some, you know, method
to it, some perfectionism, organizational thing that plays to
(05:10):
something that I like doing. Once I start doing it, once I find
this really simple mirror mode. It could even be like
that with a closet, you need to clean.
And the idea of cleaning the closet might be really
hard, but the idea of color coding your shirts or
deciding, I'm Going to put all my pants in these buckets instead
(05:34):
of in a drawer or on hangers. And the buckets will
look really nice here. And whether you fold them in a certain
way, roll them up a certain way, or don't care and just have
them in there like it's clean laundry in a bucket.
I know a lot of people do that. I don't know why I don't.
I would rather have baskets of laundry piled up that
(05:56):
aren't folded or anything that I have to go through than actually
have buckets. So I have room for that in my closet.
I like to have them rolled up, I think, because it's easier to
find things. But if you never get them put away, then you're
never finding them anyway. So whatever that zone is
that you get into and it causes you to really
enjoy it and get into that mode. And now I
(06:19):
do this. And now I do this. It's kind of that, that little method
mode. I'm going, I'm in the flow of doing it.
And once you develop that, especially if you do something
many times and you find that you like that even in the morning,
whatever a routine is, if you have a routine and you know that
I like doing this, once this is done.
(06:40):
So like let's say you like to put ice in your
water bottle and you like to have a hydration powder in your
water bottle. If you're going to go to the gym or whatever that
is a pre workout, maybe you don't do that, but I do
that, whatever that is that gets you to drink your water or
to set it up. And you go through that little routine first
of doing it. Anything that gets you into a mindless
(07:04):
zombie state, I'm just doing this, I'm enjoying it
and it leads to accomplishing the goal, then that's really good.
It's kind of those tiny little tasks, but it's finding
something that you're already good at to get you to do
something that's the bigger picture.
(07:25):
Because sometimes the big picture, and there might be parts
of that picture that you don't know how to do, but you do this
much. Or maybe you don't like making a foam call.
Like I had to make a phone call, didn't have to, but I made a
phone call to Amazon because I was past the return date.
And phone calls aren't awful, but you know,
the wait times and all that and pushing all the buttons and then
(07:46):
they send you the confirmation code or then it links to this
and doesn't have your password, you know, there's all those steps
sometimes that, you know, we want to avoid those.
But whatever it is, that's a struggle for
you. Do the things that are easier first, that play
into the parts that you already like and just do those.
(08:08):
Maybe somebody else can help you with the other part if you
like to. You don't like to clean the kitchen,
but you like to wipe off counters. Maybe just move everything
onto one counter and get out a little spray in a cloth
and clean all the counters. I like cleaning counters like that
a lot. It just feels good to have empty counters and it
(08:29):
gives the appearance of clean. Even if there are some dishes
that aren't clean, you know, it could be like that with your
desk too, or even just taking things and putting them in a
box. I don't know if you do that with paperwork or something
and moving it to where you have a clean slate and you
find something that you do like to do and it helps.
Maybe you get to that other step without even thinking it, but
(08:51):
because you're in a better mode, your brain's in a better state,
and you can do that. But whatever your strengths are, and
you know, some people talk about ADHD superpowers, you might
have some strengths that come because you have ADHD.
You might have strengths because of just who you are.
We all have gifts. Everyone has a gift.
(09:13):
So whatever those gifts are,
maybe even offer to do that thing instead of
the things that you don't do. Well, you know, maybe do a trade
with a friend or something. Maybe cut some corners
of what your goals were in the first place.
Like if you have plans for gift giving at Christmas time,
(09:34):
and some of them take a lot more time than other things,
then maybe negotiate with yourself. Not to do, not
to set yourself up for, you know, a lot of stress at
that time or whatever. But whatever your strengths are, you
can might be really creative and really resourceful, and
(09:55):
it can help you solve problems where trying to go at
it in the same way as other people can be hard.
And I think, I think in some ways the way
that we learn when we go to school or even in a
workplace, there are methods to doing things.
You think of learning math problems and you're told to show
(10:17):
your work and they show you how to do it, and there's a
way to do it. But if you start to get to where you get
a little, you're getting a little older in elementary school,
fifth grade, sixth grader, whatever, you're doing multiplication,
and you're finding, I can actually do this in five
different ways. There's different ways to get there.
And that's what kind of makes math fun.
It's like a puzzle. And then you might have different ways of
(10:40):
doing it than someone else. And some teachers might think, that
is fantastic. That is so great that your brain could
think of all those ways. And it makes you excited about the subject.
You might have a teacher that says, no, we're learning it this
way, and there's a reason you need to learn it this way and don't
do it that way. And that might make you not as
(11:01):
excited about it or make you stop thinking outside of
the box. Make us think that we need to do something in a linear
way, that it needs to be done in this one way and only that way.
And maybe for success in a job or in order
to have order in that environment, or maybe the teacher knows
something that you don't know because it's leading to some other
principle in that class. But it's still good to be able
(11:24):
to see different ways to do things and, and sometimes it, you
know, doesn't lead to success. Sometimes.
My methods for hanging up pictures, for example, ends up, you
know, with different. A whole bunch of holes in the wall that
I end up covering up with the picture.
But I would rather put multiple holes in the wall and
eyeball it than do it in someone else's method
(11:48):
and never get it done. Because I kind of like the
eyeballing it and backing up and looking and then, you know,
whatever picture hook or, you know, that
I buy or something. I like having those tools and figuring
that out and doing it on my own. It's.
I don't know if it's a strength, but it's what I
(12:10):
do well. It's the way that I do it well.
So finding the way that you do it well is better than
someone else's standard that you won't get done unless it really
needs to be done. Their standard. And we won't really talk about
that as much. You know, if you have a.
A boss or somebody that you're working for and it needs to be
done their way, but if it doesn't, we really don't have to meet
(12:32):
the expectation of the rest of the world or somebody
on a YouTube channel that says it needs to be done that way,
and it's important to give yourself that freedom because
we can be really creative beings and we can enjoy things if we're
able to express ourselves in certain ways and not think it has
to meet a certain standard. I. I ponder things
(12:55):
sometimes like, like home decor and what houses
look like on the inside and the outside changes with the years
and the decades, just like fashion does.
And you know, I wear T shirts and I'm wearing a ball cap because
I put a toner on my hair and it didn't really change
it that much and I didn't really have time to do much with it.
(13:15):
And so I put it on a hat at the risk that someone's not going
to like this team. But I love them. I love the Dodgers, so I
love a lot of baseball teams, but right now I'm really loving
the Dodgers, so. So what I' wearing.
But back to fashion or how we
decorate our houses. It's really individual and I just
think it should be an expression of who we are and what we
(13:38):
enjoy and not have to match some oh, that's not
in style anymore or I would never have furniture like that.
I don't know, maybe I've just never had enough money or that
kind of money to be choosy like that or to
care. I grew up in a small town. I really don't care.
I like it to be comfortable and I like to feel cozy for me.
(14:00):
But I do go into other people's houses sometimes and think, oh,
that's really nice. But I think that we need
to do what feels right in our brains.
It makes us feel happy. And if you have a creative mind,
use your creativity to do things in a way
that is more playful,
(14:23):
is in a way that makes you happy and makes it doable.
So the happy part could be doing the fun way or color coding.
And that makes me happy to look and see my shirt's color coded.
I've done that before and it's actually harder for me
to find things that way. I do better if I have all my
T shirts together and then all button up shirts, which I honestly
(14:44):
hardly ever ever wear because I don't know if you have clothing
sensitivity, but buttons and seams.
I feel like I'm in a straight jacket or something.
So I hardly ever wear them. But if I put all my black
shirts together, I start to think some my T shirts
are missing or something. I can't find them, so I do better.
(15:05):
I guess that's leaning to my weakness of not being able
to figure out where things are when they're color coded.
Yeah, even certain ways of organizing my closet, like rolling
up things or putting them in different buckets.
If they're in a bucket, I don't always see and maybe I'm not
wearing them anyway. But yeah, there's Always a struggle
(15:25):
with that, of having the perfect way of having my closet.
But right now I'm pretty happy with it.
It's clean, so I'm not going to complain.
But
when. Let's see.
So this could even be things that aren't just things that you're
trying to get done, but
(15:45):
whatever, whatever your relationships are with people, you might
have people skills, you might have a lot of empathy.
I was going to say, I have been told
recently on Reddit, actually I was shown
a study that says
that, and this was in children with adhd, that children with
(16:08):
ADHD have less empathy and more pertaining to
the hyperactive form of adhd, which I think is a very common
form of ADHD in children, especially boys, and not as
common in adults, but still totally there.
Hello, I'm one of them. But if
(16:30):
you are more empathetic than most, and I am, and I
think there are a lot of women with ADHD who are, you can
use empathy, you can use your people skills to
help you in whatever you need to do in
life, whether it's booking appointments or making a return or
(16:52):
being able to negotiate something that you're doing.
I teach yoga. Me being able to negotiate, getting a time for
a class or a day for a class, pushing for things, maybe having
a strength there as you get older, that might strengthen.
As I get older, it does. Because I think I'm not going to
spend my time doing things I don't want to do or I'm not going
to let people walk over all over me anymore.
(17:14):
So maybe I never did, but I think I did.
And whatever is strengthening, whatever muscle strengthening
in your being, use that to your advantage.
Use that to maybe get an appointment with a
doctor that you need. When they say there aren't any, use
your resource fullness and think, well, have you
(17:37):
had any cancellations? And they say no.
And say, well, what's the best time to call back each day to
find out if you've had cancellations?
And I have been told Monday mornings are really good because
they get their voicemails before they open and they get
all these cancellations and you can call in and you can get appointments
or first thing in the morning on another day.
And sometimes if you just keep asking questions and use your
(18:00):
people skills, use your persistence, use your creativity, you
can accomplish things that you might not be able to otherwise.
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, I think, I don't know. I think this, this
is my guess. We have the ADHD brain that has strengths.
(18:20):
But I think a lot of Our strengths that we have happen
because we have ADHD. Many of us either weren't diagnosed
as children or weren't diagnosed as teenagers, weren't diagnosed
as young adults. Lived for me most of my life,
probably most of my life before I die, it'll be.
(18:40):
The majority of my life will be not knowing I had ADHD unless
I live past 100, which I hope to. But we'll see.
But if that's the case, you've had to develop
skills, you've had to become stronger, you've had to find ways
to do well in school, to do well in
your job if you went to college. How do I organize this?
(19:03):
I was blown away when I got to college.
How behind I felt all the time in high school.
I never felt like that. And I did go to a little high school.
Granted, maybe it wasn't as hard as some other high schools,
but I was able to get straight A's. I was able
to use my people skills, and maybe those developed more because
I needed them. But I used my people skills to
(19:27):
get to know the teacher, not to brown nose them or you
know, convince them to do something that they didn't want
to. Not every teacher liked me, but to understand what
their needs were, what they wanted, and give it to them
and find a way to satisfy them. And when I say not
every teacher liked me, it wasn't that they didn't like me, but
(19:49):
you know how some teachers like the sports kids.
I wasn't a sports girl. My best friend ran track.
She was. She played volleyball. She dull all the, you know,
the sports I play, I played. No, I didn't play volleyball.
I played volleyball for fun. When I went to my friend's
volleyball practice to see if I wanted to play one year, I wasn't
very good at all. I thought I wasn't very good.
(20:10):
I was more like a, anybody want to hang out and play
volleyball kind of thing. I didn't know what actual volleyball
games were like. And it was. Every sport was more
social for me. I did love softball. I love to hit the
ball hard. I. Pitching sounded horrific to me because a
lot of pressure there, but I could throw the ball hard.
(20:30):
I could play short shot and second base really well.
But for me, really, it's just out there being able to talk
to people, Sit on the bench and talk to people.
Yeah, yeah. I took tennis classes in college.
I didn't know that there was a need for control.
I could play ping pong, so I thought it was like ping pong.
(20:51):
And I guess there's control. With ping pong, you don't.
You have to hit it on the table. But you know, hitting it hard
is good if you can hit it on the table.
And with tennis, I just didn't have the control at all.
I didn't, I, I found I wasn't good at a lot of
sports, but I liked, I liked going. But yeah,
whatever that is. If you had. When I had teachers who liked
(21:13):
the sports, kids more than they liked me, ignored me, didn't
come and talk to me on the sides and stuff, I thought, okay,
I can still figure out how to get a good grade in this class.
And I think those are good experiences to have.
Not everyone has to like us, but,
but I guess leaning to your strengths is not.
(21:35):
Is partially using the skills that you have.
You know, the outside of the box ways that you may have to do
something, but it's also
drawing closer to things that will be easier for
you, like finding a job, to do,
(21:56):
a hobby, to do a sport, to do games, whatever
it is. If you can control your environment, doing the things
that, that aren't. It's not like you're not going
to challenge yourself, but don't do things that are setting yourself
up for failure or that you're not going to enjoy.
You know, if you're not going to enjoy playing tennis, then don't
(22:17):
play tennis. Maybe that's pretty simple to understand, but some
people feel a pressure to participate in things because
their friends are doing it or their spouse is doing it, boyfriend,
whatever. And you don't always have to do everything together.
You can do things that you love without them.
And, and you don't always have to tag along and just be the peacemaker
(22:42):
and just not enjoy it. And you can pursue
hobbies, you can find a new job if you can.
Not that you have to quit what you're doing right now, but really
think about what goes well with your way of
thinking. Even if you do gather with friends
and play games. Maybe you love the board games that have
(23:03):
letters like Scrabble or I like the talking games,
like what's that one where there's the buzzer and I can't even
think of it right now. I like the ones where everyone's talking
and sharing. Of course, I think those are more fun.
But I do like some like Yahtzee and stuff that's fun.
Roll in the dice and things like that.
Really. It's hard for me to sit for very long though.
(23:24):
I don't know if you're like that with a lot of games.
It's like I can play them for a while, but then I need to get
up and walk around. So. And really also creating the
system. So as we talked about before, systems, routines, and
everything that help build energy, help build that momentum,
that excitement in you, and not away from it.
(23:44):
So it's just aligning yourself, your patterns, what you do
as much as you can with how you like to do it.
And sometimes there's some exploration in that.
You know, you might have a system that's working for a while,
and. And then you just start to find that it's going stale
and you're not doing well with it anymore.
And so my mom used to have a saying, like, nothing
(24:06):
works as well as a new broom or something.
And in the olden days, a broom used to be a wooden stick
with a straw, and it was literally straw.
And they're pretty good. I'm sure they still sell them,
but they're probably. Honestly, they probably have some plastic
in the straw or something. But at some point, that broom would
get thinner and thinner and thinner and thinner.
(24:27):
And what was once really bushy and spread out
at the bottom was really worn down. And maybe two thirds
of what it used to be. And at some point, it's not picking
up the dirt as well. It's not doing as well.
And eventually, it probably wasn't nearly as often as we order
things, replace things now in our lives.
(24:47):
But my mom would get a new broom, and she would say
that when we would come up with a new system, we used
to get up on Saturday mornings and we'd all clean.
Or we'd have a system one summer for going
out on Saturdays and helping with the gardening, or in whatever
that system was that we had, it would work for a
(25:08):
while, and then it wasn't anymore. And sometimes
you just need that fresh start, that fresh idea.
And that's, I think, why we like New Year's.
It's a fresh start. It just feels like it's the beginning of
a year. And so we feel like setting new goals.
We feel like doing something new. We feel like committing to
what we tried to do before and maybe doing it in
(25:29):
a different way. And so whatever that new broom is for
you, if you need to change your system, and maybe that's what
it plays to your strength, is that you need a little fresh
start. Have you ever just rearranged furniture to get that
feel, to put your bed in a different side of
the room? I love doing that. I always think that's so fun.
I always think it's so exciting. Although right now our house,
(25:53):
our bed is. Our room is set up so we really
can't do that. We've been in this house for three
years. But our bed is a king size bed.
The room is good size, but it's not huge at
all. And one whole side is windows and the windows
go this far to the floor. They're, you know, like, I know I'm
(26:14):
looking right here because this room's kind of similar, but I
think the windows go even lower in our bedroom, like less than
a foot from the floor. And so to put the bed in front of
that, especially in Florida where it's humid, not a good idea.
It's just going to get all moldy and stuff.
And the other walls, one wall is a TV wall and
it's not even big enough for the bed.
(26:34):
And the other wall is a wall on the way to the bathroom and closet.
So it doesn't have room either. So I'm kind of sad about that.
Kind of sad not to be able to move my bed.
I guess we could put move our bedroom upstairs, but I don't want
to do that either. But I mentioned before is finding
someone else. If you really don't have a strength for something
and you need to get it done, find somebody who can partner with
(26:56):
you and help you with it. If you have a husband, a
boyfriend, a good friend, somebody that you can do
that with, it's really helpful. I love that in my
marriage that there are a lot of things that I can't stand to
do. There's a lot of things my husband doesn't like to do.
And when I see he hates making these phone
(27:17):
calls, I'm like, hey, you want me to make that phone call for
you? Or I'll write to your doctor. I'll go on your little health
online thing and write to your doctor and ask him
this question and happy to do it. Like, doesn't take any
effort for me. It's very simple and he does a
lot of things for me that I don't like to do.
I'm kind of the person that takes care of bugs in our house.
(27:37):
So I wish I wasn't the only person who did that.
But all those things can be helpful.
So just finding someone who complements your weakness or whether
it's. It doesn't even have to be a weakness, it could just be
something you don't have time to do, you don't want to do, or
it really is just, you know, something that's really difficult
for you. What's interesting with that is when we do
(28:00):
something for a friend, sometimes doing that same thing for ourselves
is harder because there's a. An emotional attachment sometimes
for the actual person. So, like, if you were going
to go help a person get rid of things and help
them move and declutter or clean out a room
(28:21):
or something, you're not going to have the same attachment to
it. And clearly you'll ask them, you know, like, hey, are you
okay getting rid of this? But you can be a little more
brutal with things and it can support them in that.
Whereas them doing it alone might be hard, or you doing it for
yourself might be a lot harder. So that's kind of interesting
is that our emotions are different when we do something for somebody
(28:43):
else. We're like, oh, sure, I'll come in and do this.
You know, there's no draining effect for it.
But tell yourself when you do recognize these
strengths and you recognize these things that are difficult for
you and you see other people able to do it, it's okay.
We're all different. It doesn't mean there's something wrong
(29:03):
with you. It just means that your challenges are different than
other people's. And. And understanding that is so, so helpful.
Trying to think. I don't even know why I write notes.
Honestly, because I look at these and, yeah, can't make
sense of them while I'm talking to you.
(29:24):
Oh, dun, dun, dun. I guess one
thing I did think of asking you before I started, and I'll ask
you now, but
try to think of at least one thing and maybe even
three. You could do two if you want.
I know there's an in between, but try to think of one thing
(29:46):
that you can just say in your mind right now, I am really
good at this. It's really easy for me to do this.
And maybe that's easy for you to just name it.
To just say, yeah, I'm good at this.
I have no problem talking to people on the phone.
I have no problem walking up and handing.
Handling a confrontation. Or maybe that's not your strength.
(30:07):
I have no problem just going in a room and
saying, let's clean this up. I have no problem organizing a
party. You know, you might have some things that you think, yeah,
and you might not think of them as strengths because you might
think, well, that's fun for me. But what's fun for you is usually
a strength. Unless it's like a roller coaster or something.
That's not a strength, though. But it might be.
(30:29):
Maybe you're not afraid of heights and that's a good thing so
you don't get dizzy as easily. But recognizing your strengths
is really, really great. And having confidence in what you
do and, and just noticing like what, what
is my natural flow energy. And then whatever's stunting
(30:51):
that progress, look at that and think, how can I
get this flow? How can I get this slow going back
to that task paralysis, you know, that's a tough one because
it can affect all of us. Maybe not all of you deal with it,
but it hits me a lot. It does. It didn't five,
10 years ago. And I think my guess is,
(31:13):
is that when my life was more structured at home because I
had kids, it was pretty simple. I've got to do this, got to
do this, got to do this. And that was enough to drive me to
do it and I wanted to do it and I found a system to
make that work. Having more open ended time or not
enough time are two struggles for me.
So then without enough time then I think, well, I don't have
(31:35):
enough time to do it. And having too much time, I think, well,
I don't need to do it yet, so instead I'll do this.
And that's I think where a weakness is.
Because
I don't want too much structure when I don't have enough
time, you know, I don't want to just like.
And now when you have this very little time, you're going to
do this. This is like, hey, maybe I need a little break.
(31:56):
Okay, so maybe on those days it doesn't work.
But on my days of open ended time it's harder
to tell myself, you really need to do this right now.
When I really don't have to do it right then.
So what would playing to my strength be?
It really would be. I think that's why I rely on accountability
(32:18):
because I do have relationships with people.
I do have people that I can rely on to
say, I want to get this done. Will you
either a help me or I want to tell
you at 3 o' clock today that I got it done.
Or just set little goals with each other, I'm
(32:41):
going to get this done. Even just talking to other people who
are doing similar things without actually having the accountability
makes you feel that way. I have another friend that's doing
a completely different endeavor for her
way of making money, what she wants to spend her time with, what
her hobbies are and stuff. She loves making jewelry and so she's
(33:04):
pursuing that and it's really easy to see where
the holes are for someone else with their structure.
Their setup. In fact, she has a lot of great setups and she
has some things that aren't going as well as she wanted.
And I could see today when I was talking to you, one of the holes.
And when I saw that, it helped me see where mine are too,
(33:25):
and what I could do to make that better.
So sometimes just having a person to bounce ideas off
of, to share what you're doing with, whether you
actually have the structure to say,
I need to work on this and I need to be able to report to
you at five o' clock sometimes, that's not always convenient
(33:48):
and it's not always, you know, doable.
It's not always, like the greatest way to have a friendship.
You know, maybe it's not the way you want to share your time
with each other, but just sharing what you're doing
can help you be more aware of what you're doing and how
you're doing it and maybe be more motivating.
And I know motivation isn't always what can get us out of a
(34:09):
rut, but it can help us make sense of
maybe a better flow or a better routine or what can help
push that into gear. So, yeah, playing to your strength
of having a friend who can help and even noticing that, what
motivates you? For me, talking to people, even just listening
to people, listening to little Q and A sessions on
(34:33):
podcasts or whatever it is that I'm doing that I'm spending
my time with or with yoga. When I first started teaching yoga,
I was just soaking it up right and left, taking more workshops,
reading books and listening to people's little webinars.
They didn't do podcasts as much for yoga then.
They probably still don't. Actually.
Yoga's not a hot topic on podcasts, but I would
(34:55):
attend webinars and online things, or even in person things,
because being there would help me see myself
and how I wanted to incorporate what I was learning.
And when I did, it was super, super helpful.
So hopefully this is helpful to you.
Just when I talk to you, it helps give you ideas of what
(35:16):
strengths do I have. Is it my confidence in myself?
Is it my ability to get up and go when I need to?
Is it my ability to talk to myself and tell myself?
Maybe for some people, they might think talking to yourself is
not a good thing, but it can be a good thing if it can
help you do what you need to do. It says get up, walk.
(35:38):
So I don't know if you've seen Gone with the Wind, but there's
a Part where
Scarlet needs help. She always needs help.
Anyway, I just remember one of the men said horse make tracks
or something like that. And that's sometimes what I think is
like with my own legs, like make tracks.
Just start moving. Just go, just go.
Like I'm not telling a horse to do it.
I'm telling myself to do it. So anyway, anyway, anyway, so
(36:02):
excited to be here. I'm also excited to tell you that I am
almost done with my website, like with my whole newsletter sequencing
and stuff, which doesn't even probably make sense to anybody
but me. But it's just the thing that's been tripping
me up for a long time. And once I get that out of my way,
it's almost out of my way. I've been working on it for a couple
(36:23):
days. I can have a clearer picture of what
I'm doing here. And that can be good.
That can be really good. Let me know what you're working
on. I don't know if any of you are
at home. People, entrepreneurs, working remotely, working in
person, not working, having children at home.
(36:46):
Full time job, part time job. I mean we all do
different things, but there are a lot of people who have the
entrepreneurial desires when they have ADHD because
you have ideas and they're burning ideas.
That one book, what's it called? It's an ADHD book for
women. It's one of the ones that my friend told me
(37:06):
to get and I liked it. Okay, I liked it better.
Well, I have a harder time reading now.
Okay, I'm going to look it up. It's ADHD book women, I can
tell you. Nope, not that one. Okay, here it
is. A radical guide for women with ADHD.
Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly and Breakthrough Barriers
(37:28):
by. I need to give them the credit. I'm saying the name
of their book. Okay, I know. Don't give me a pop up.
I don't want 15% off. I'm just trying to find.
Okay, this did not take me to just an easy answer.
I want to find their names. It's probably.
Oh, here we go. Anyway, I have the book but I lost it.
So I have it on audio. I purchased it in February 2023.
(37:50):
Sarah sold an Ms. Is the author Michelle Frank,
Frank doctor in psychology. And one more.
Who's the other one? Ellen Littman, PhD.
She made the forward. The other two are the authors.
I didn't love it as much as my friend who recommended it
(38:12):
to me and especially trying to read it because I have
a hard time sitting and reading a book, but I listen to
it on audio and a lot of the things that
give you scenarios and stuff of people.
And if I can't relate to it, I. Especially if they're telling
me like, and we know you feel bad about yourself for
this and I think, but I don't, you know?
(38:34):
So then I tune them out. It's like, don't assume how
I feel, you know, Please. So hopefully I'm not assuming how you
feel, but. But I really, like there was
a part. And honestly, I listen to it a lot when I'm
falling asleep. So a lot of times when I do that, the next night
I should pick up this book again because I've actually run out
of podcast episodes on this one podcast that's really drowsy
(38:55):
sounding. I listen to it a lot and fall asleep and I'm all
caught up. But what I'll do is if I fall asleep
pretty quickly, then I'll go back the next night and see where
I fell asleep and then listen for 10 more minutes or 15 more
minutes or whatever. That's my sleeping method lately.
And with this book, there was one chapter that I really
liked because they talked about how our brains can be
(39:16):
just so creative that we have a lot of great
ideas and then that turns into goals and
ideas and I want to do this and I want to
do that, and it's just a burning desire.
And it can be hard because sometimes there are no guidebooks
for that. Especially when. I mean, when I first had a desire
(39:36):
to write a book, I was 22 and I majored
in English, but I wasn't a creative writer at all.
Like, I knew I couldn't make up a story for the life of me.
So I thought, okay, well, what it'd be on, I had no idea
because I'm not really creative in that way.
So I never knew what it would be. It's kind of like for a podcast,
I thought for like five or six years.
(39:57):
But what would it be about? I don't know.
I try to think about ideas. I don't know.
I don't know. Until I found out I had ADHD.
But thankfully, the desire to write a book.
And I shouldn't say that because, you know, it would have been
a nice thing. Thankfully that left because it's hard to
have a burning idea and then not act on it.
That I don't think it left because, like, I didn't do
(40:20):
it because honestly, it was still with me probably into my 40s,
so probably for 20 years, but. And who knows maybe someday
that'll come back and I'll write a book for.
For us. We'll see. But I. But, yeah,
I know what it's like to have that burning desire because you
think about it all the time. And then, you know, it shifted to,
(40:43):
you should teach yoga, which was a. Came out of the blue.
I never thought I'd like yoga, and here I've taught yoga
for over 20 years. So, yeah, that was weird, but it
did. And then the whole, like, have a podcast, have
a podcast, have a podcast. Like, you know, why is that
in me? It is. And you might have something that's in you
(41:06):
and that you want to do, and you have ideas.
Ideas. And I don't know if you ever watch reality tv.
Now I'm just talking like you're in my.
In my. My house with me if you ever watch reality tv.
But there are a few people I've watched on there, a few women
probably about my age that I've seen that I think they
must have adhd, at least have this component of it of just
being this entrepreneur and having this idea of like, I'm gonna
(41:28):
make this. And they. They really can't narrow it
down because it's such a dream. Of all the things, it's kind
of like, I'm writing a book. What's it gonna be about?
I don't know, but I'm writing a book.
I'm designing the COVID You know, like, you can do all the things
that you like, but that's okay to design the COVID
if you don't know. You know what I mean?
Like, you're playing to your strength.
(41:49):
You could get a step closer. That could get you there.
It really could. But at some point, you have to do the other
groundwork or paid somebody else to do that or have a little
bit more concrete information. Really helped when I had
a topic for my. For my podcast that, yeah, it
would be fun to do a little. I have to get my
(42:11):
website a little better. One of the reasons I switched website
platforms is the new one has the capacity for a membership.
I don't know if I want to do that, have a membership.
But memberships, courses, it's all in one thing where
we could have some kind of thing that we do
together. Like, everyone work on their business idea and,
(42:33):
you know, and go. Go through these steps and just make progress
together. It'd be fun. But I need to find out where your
interests are, where your struggles are, where you are
in your life, if that's not even something that you want to
do. One of my friends who's not quite my age, she's five years
younger, but she. She hasn't been diagnosed, but she's positive
(42:55):
she has ADHD too. But she told me probably five years ago
when I was all, yeah, I want to have podcasts and I want to,
you know, and all this stuff. And she said, somebody asked me
what my goals are. She like, I don't.
I don't have goals anymore. I. I'm like in the mode of wanting
to relax. You know, I want to slow down, not go faster.
And I thought, I want to go faster. I'm feeling like.
(43:15):
I mean, obviously I'm a yoga teacher, so I know I need to slow
down to hoop, but I'm feeling like when you get older,
if you've. If you've even hit your 40s, you're probably
thinking, hopefully you're not thinking, oh, I'm so old.
Because you're not. You're not that old.
You're just 40 or 48, whatever you are, it's not that old.
And then you hit your 50s and you're like, oh, this is kind of
(43:35):
legit. A little older. But now I'm 60.
I am 60 years old. And you start to think, okay, that is.
Is getting to that latter. It is in the latter half
of life. Okay, let's, like, we can't.
We can't pretend it's not. Unless I live to 120, which
isn't very likely, but, you know, it'd be fun if that could
happen. My. My friend, my age, my college friend just had her
(43:58):
birthday yesterday, so she just turned 61, and I need to take.
Text her, But I for. But she told me I don't
wanna live past a hundred because it's not pleasant.
So. But my plan is to live to a hundred and have it
be pleasant. But there are people that you
start to realize, like, I didn't do this in my twenties when
I wanted to write a book. I didn't do this in my 30s.
(44:19):
I did great things. I had children and loved that
life. You know, that was a great thing I didn't do.
You know, all those things, like, at some point, if I want to
do them, I gotta do them now. You know, now's the time.
So I think that's what drives me. And maybe that,
like playing to a strength. What does drive you?
(44:42):
What is your strength? Is it even just an idea or
a concept? I'm not getting any younger.
Not something to be sad about. It's something to rejoice.
About, because aren't we glad that we still get to
beyond this earth? So that's something to be joyful about.
And if you do need to slow down, that's okay, too.
(45:05):
That can be your mode. But if that something drives
you to do more, and it does help you do more than you do something
drives you to slow down, and you need to create that pace for
your life, then that's what you do. But you find what drives
you. You find what energizes. You find where you pick
up and go, I can do this. And then that's where you do
(45:27):
well life in life and do well, life.
Words don't always come out the way I want them to, but that's
okay. I think that's it. I think that's it.
I'm going to close out my little window.
That gives me ideas of what to talk about.
I am so excited to finish up with my podcast episodes
this week because, well, I'm going to be gone all next week,
(45:48):
so I need to record next week's episodes this week.
And I made this dumb little goal when I made episode 100.
And it sounded smart because I know people, so this was not
playing to my strength. It sounded smart.
There are people who do things like, they really set up structure
in their lives and they say things like, you know, every month's
gonna have a theme. And I did try that.
(46:10):
I think in February and March and stuff, every month is gonna
have a theme. And that's what we'll focus on.
In my gym, I've worked at a gym that did that and.
And I just thought it was fantastic.
I love that she did that. I loved her commitment to it.
I loved her ideas. I loved all of it.
But it's not me. But it was an idea and I tried
it. And then I had an idea on impulsive, part of
(46:34):
my ADHD. While I was recording that episode 100 and I
had 10 things that I was talking about that each of the 10 things
had 10 things. And so it was supposed to be a hundred ideas.
And I thought, I really can't talk about a hundred of these ideas
in depth. So I'll go into the 10, kind of gloss over
the other times 10 and 101 through 110 will
(46:56):
be about those 10 things. I felt so locked into that I've
stuck to it. I had to reverse the order 4, 104 and 104 and
3. And thank you for bearing with me while I kept talking about
that because I had to get myself to at Least do that.
But I'm on 108 now. I only have two more.
And then I'm like, freedom. I can talk about whatever I want
(47:19):
and I know I can anyway, but I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying
to be true to my word. So anyway, thank you so
much for being here. If you want to check out my website
and see if it even looks any different, if you have even looked
at it before, it may not look much different.
I need a new picture. It doesn't really look like me.
I had my hair cut shorter and it was Easter and it
was curly and I never wear it down. It's straight today because
(47:41):
I just straightened it. But
yeah, I wear it pulled back all the time.
I'm going tomorrow to get my root touch up and
highlights and I. I decide not to book a
haircut too, because why I always pull it back.
So I don't. Yeah, so that's that. That's my excitement.
(48:03):
I know I brought up the hair thing, but thank you for
listening. Oh, because my picture, yeah, it's a shorter haircut,
so I'll probably just pull it back in a ponytail and do a different
picture or wear a hat. We shall see.
It's one of those things that is not my expertise.
It's not my strength is the photo taking thing.
So I might have to get one of my daughter to take one, but she
(48:24):
took the last one. I need to get her to take a hundred
because clearly I'm just not happy with that last
one. But anyway, that's it. That's it.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening.
Feel free to contact me. I do have a contact form on my, on
my website. I even have. If you go to my about page.
I figured out how to. Instead of making you fill out a
(48:44):
form, which you can do, you can do that and get on my
newsletter email list, which I would love because I share ideas
and stuff that I forget to talk about here or that might, you
know, just be a little more clear there.
And we can write back and forth. But I also figured out how to
just say you can email me here and there's a link.
This is my exciting thing. There's a link and it actually just
(49:05):
takes you to your email and. And I'm already in the 22 window
or whatever. I have to cough and I don't know how to do a
cough button, but maybe I do. I'll just try
to not cough.
I'm almost done. Okay, let's do a little pause.
Just a Second, something you might not know about me
is I have really bad asthma and trying to hold back
(49:28):
a cough and saying I'm going to cough turns
into a whole coughing fit. So I think I can talk but
clearly my voice isn't much better. I'm going to keep
it weak. Anyway, I need to say goodbye, so
thank you so much for being here. Just keeping it real.
I could wait and do a little real normal voice goodbye
(49:51):
later, but I won't because I want this to be as real as
can be. We live in a world of AI. This I cannot stand AI
voices on YouTube videos or or even podcast
background. Sometimes they do them in the.
I don't know what they do. You can tell when the voice is like
auto tuned or something. Drives my brain nuts.
It kind of feels like pins are going into my head or something.
(50:14):
Needles. So anyway, so I'm keeping it real.
So hopefully my post coughing voice doesn't sound like that
to you. But thank you for being here and I'll be back.
I'll be back. I'm gonna record another one for this week
and two for next week and I probably will record more
for when I get back because I find when I get
back from a trip it's hard for me to get back into it.
(50:37):
That's another episode to come. I was just reading on a.
It must have been a Reddit post about ADHD that there's someone.
Oh it wasn't. It was actually in a Facebook ADHD group, but that
there's a ADHD expert doctor person who has
a name for it. That there's this period of time that we need
(50:59):
to regroup, which is really obvious to a lot of
us. But I'm really curious what happens in the brain and
I've been trying to find that post and find out who that doctor
is and kind of learn about it, like what the technical thing
is that's happening. Because I find that when I get
back it's like what? I can't do all those things that I
normally do. I gotta regroup here and just do the basics.
(51:22):
So anyway, I will be back this week and next and
beyond. Bye.
Frozen dreams are left for tomorrow
Without
(51:44):
a call
Rewind I've run out of time to
(52:06):
sing melodies and harmonies I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me.
Hello. Welcome to Inspiring Women with ADHD.
I'm Renee. I am the host of this podcast.
I'm excited to be here tonight. And I need a director.
I need someone to say, just keep going.
Don't delete it. This is like my fourth try,
so I'm going to keep going. I'm not going to delete it no matter
what. Oh, here I am. And who knows what
(00:50):
I was rambling on about before, and I thought, you don't need
to hear that, but maybe you did. Who knows?
We'll find out. I guess we'll never find out.
But today's episode is about playing to your
strengths. What are your strengths? Everyone has strengths.
And when you have challenges, if you use your advantages,
(01:12):
whatever advantages you have, rely on those, then you
have a better chance of doing well. It just makes sense, right?
So leaning on your strengths, how can you do that
when you have adhd? There are a lot of things that
can trip you up. Like if you ever have
(01:36):
task paralysis, the inability to get yourself to do
something when you want to do it, you've told
yourself you're going to do it. You set a time to do it, you
have everything set up to do it. You know you need to do
it. People might be coming, you need to do it, and you still
don't do it. And how do you get yourself to do
it? And there are a lot of ways to do that.
(01:57):
What would your strength be? What would be a way to
get out of that? Maybe a strength doesn't help with that.
Maybe you really just have to cheat the system.
Maybe your strength is you have friends.
And you tell your friends, come over and make me do this.
Work with me, help me. You find whatever tools you
have. Maybe that's your strength, is you have creativity, you
(02:19):
have resources, you think, it's not working on my own all by
myself and sue, you find a way to hack that system
of just trying to do it on your own.
One of the methods I talked about, I don't know
if it was last week or the week before, was finding the fun in
something and just doing the fun thing.
(02:39):
And that's kind of playing to your enjoyment level of
what you like, what will get you to do it.
But playing to your strengths
might be, let's say. Let's say that it's
not a task. Let's say it's something you have to make some
money. On top of whatever money you make, you need to make
(03:02):
some money. And a lot of people do that in different
ways, and maybe they don't make a lot of money.
Maybe you have a yard sale, a garage sale or something.
Maybe you know how to post things online that you can sell.
I used to sell things on ebay. I haven't done that in a long
time. And I have a laundry basket full of
things that I've wanted to put on some kind of website like Poshmark
(03:25):
or Facebook Marketplace or something.
And I haven't done it in a long time.
But if you get creative, maybe you're good at creativity.
Maybe you find a way to make it fun.
Not just fun, but it plays to what you like to do.
Like, I think in the last episode I talked about needing to
make Amazon returns or whatever story that you're buying from,
(03:48):
then you need to make those returns and you really can't get
yourself to do it. But if you find a groove, some
kind of mode or some kind of method that's been fun for
you to do before, if you can get yourself just to slide into
that, then it's like you're tricking yourself to do
it. I don't know if you've ever done that with children,
(04:08):
but you can't get them to do something.
And so let's say you want them to read a book and
they don't feel like reading a book.
But then you say, well, let's just go in here and look at your
closet. And maybe that's where the books are.
I'm just thinking back to when my kids had a closet with shelves
on it. And you just find a way to get them in that
environment that leads them to reading that book.
(04:29):
And if you find a way to get yourself closer to
something that will help you do it. Like, let's
say those Amazon returns, when I finally said, okay, you gotta
do this, and then found, well, I do like printing out the
little QR codes. I do like cutting those up and
(04:50):
putting them. Actually, this time I didn't cut it up.
Usually I cut them up and tape them to the package and have them.
And then I'm just so organized. It plays to that.
Really organized. I won't say obsessive compulsive.
It might be. It's not ocd, but there is some, you know, method
to it, some perfectionism, organizational thing that plays to
(05:10):
something that I like doing. Once I start doing it, once I find
this really simple mirror mode. It could even be like
that with a closet, you need to clean.
And the idea of cleaning the closet might be really
hard, but the idea of color coding your shirts or
deciding, I'm Going to put all my pants in these buckets instead
(05:34):
of in a drawer or on hangers. And the buckets will
look really nice here. And whether you fold them in a certain
way, roll them up a certain way, or don't care and just have
them in there like it's clean laundry in a bucket.
I know a lot of people do that. I don't know why I don't.
I would rather have baskets of laundry piled up that
(05:56):
aren't folded or anything that I have to go through than actually
have buckets. So I have room for that in my closet.
I like to have them rolled up, I think, because it's easier to
find things. But if you never get them put away, then you're
never finding them anyway. So whatever that zone is
that you get into and it causes you to really
enjoy it and get into that mode. And now I
(06:19):
do this. And now I do this. It's kind of that, that little method
mode. I'm going, I'm in the flow of doing it.
And once you develop that, especially if you do something
many times and you find that you like that even in the morning,
whatever a routine is, if you have a routine and you know that
I like doing this, once this is done.
(06:40):
So like let's say you like to put ice in your
water bottle and you like to have a hydration powder in your
water bottle. If you're going to go to the gym or whatever that
is a pre workout, maybe you don't do that, but I do
that, whatever that is that gets you to drink your water or
to set it up. And you go through that little routine first
of doing it. Anything that gets you into a mindless
(07:04):
zombie state, I'm just doing this, I'm enjoying it
and it leads to accomplishing the goal, then that's really good.
It's kind of those tiny little tasks, but it's finding
something that you're already good at to get you to do
something that's the bigger picture.
(07:25):
Because sometimes the big picture, and there might be parts
of that picture that you don't know how to do, but you do this
much. Or maybe you don't like making a foam call.
Like I had to make a phone call, didn't have to, but I made a
phone call to Amazon because I was past the return date.
And phone calls aren't awful, but you know,
the wait times and all that and pushing all the buttons and then
(07:46):
they send you the confirmation code or then it links to this
and doesn't have your password, you know, there's all those steps
sometimes that, you know, we want to avoid those.
But whatever it is, that's a struggle for
you. Do the things that are easier first, that play
into the parts that you already like and just do those.
(08:08):
Maybe somebody else can help you with the other part if you
like to. You don't like to clean the kitchen,
but you like to wipe off counters. Maybe just move everything
onto one counter and get out a little spray in a cloth
and clean all the counters. I like cleaning counters like that
a lot. It just feels good to have empty counters and it
(08:29):
gives the appearance of clean. Even if there are some dishes
that aren't clean, you know, it could be like that with your
desk too, or even just taking things and putting them in a
box. I don't know if you do that with paperwork or something
and moving it to where you have a clean slate and you
find something that you do like to do and it helps.
Maybe you get to that other step without even thinking it, but
(08:51):
because you're in a better mode, your brain's in a better state,
and you can do that. But whatever your strengths are, and
you know, some people talk about ADHD superpowers, you might
have some strengths that come because you have ADHD.
You might have strengths because of just who you are.
We all have gifts. Everyone has a gift.
(09:13):
So whatever those gifts are,
maybe even offer to do that thing instead of
the things that you don't do. Well, you know, maybe do a trade
with a friend or something. Maybe cut some corners
of what your goals were in the first place.
Like if you have plans for gift giving at Christmas time,
(09:34):
and some of them take a lot more time than other things,
then maybe negotiate with yourself. Not to do, not
to set yourself up for, you know, a lot of stress at
that time or whatever. But whatever your strengths are, you
can might be really creative and really resourceful, and
(09:55):
it can help you solve problems where trying to go at
it in the same way as other people can be hard.
And I think, I think in some ways the way
that we learn when we go to school or even in a
workplace, there are methods to doing things.
You think of learning math problems and you're told to show
(10:17):
your work and they show you how to do it, and there's a
way to do it. But if you start to get to where you get
a little, you're getting a little older in elementary school,
fifth grade, sixth grader, whatever, you're doing multiplication,
and you're finding, I can actually do this in five
different ways. There's different ways to get there.
And that's what kind of makes math fun.
It's like a puzzle. And then you might have different ways of
(10:40):
doing it than someone else. And some teachers might think, that
is fantastic. That is so great that your brain could
think of all those ways. And it makes you excited about the subject.
You might have a teacher that says, no, we're learning it this
way, and there's a reason you need to learn it this way and don't
do it that way. And that might make you not as
(11:01):
excited about it or make you stop thinking outside of
the box. Make us think that we need to do something in a linear
way, that it needs to be done in this one way and only that way.
And maybe for success in a job or in order
to have order in that environment, or maybe the teacher knows
something that you don't know because it's leading to some other
principle in that class. But it's still good to be able
(11:24):
to see different ways to do things and, and sometimes it, you
know, doesn't lead to success. Sometimes.
My methods for hanging up pictures, for example, ends up, you
know, with different. A whole bunch of holes in the wall that
I end up covering up with the picture.
But I would rather put multiple holes in the wall and
eyeball it than do it in someone else's method
(11:48):
and never get it done. Because I kind of like the
eyeballing it and backing up and looking and then, you know,
whatever picture hook or, you know, that
I buy or something. I like having those tools and figuring
that out and doing it on my own. It's.
I don't know if it's a strength, but it's what I
(12:10):
do well. It's the way that I do it well.
So finding the way that you do it well is better than
someone else's standard that you won't get done unless it really
needs to be done. Their standard. And we won't really talk about
that as much. You know, if you have a.
A boss or somebody that you're working for and it needs to be
done their way, but if it doesn't, we really don't have to meet
(12:32):
the expectation of the rest of the world or somebody
on a YouTube channel that says it needs to be done that way,
and it's important to give yourself that freedom because
we can be really creative beings and we can enjoy things if we're
able to express ourselves in certain ways and not think it has
to meet a certain standard. I. I ponder things
(12:55):
sometimes like, like home decor and what houses
look like on the inside and the outside changes with the years
and the decades, just like fashion does.
And you know, I wear T shirts and I'm wearing a ball cap because
I put a toner on my hair and it didn't really change
it that much and I didn't really have time to do much with it.
(13:15):
And so I put it on a hat at the risk that someone's not going
to like this team. But I love them. I love the Dodgers, so I
love a lot of baseball teams, but right now I'm really loving
the Dodgers, so. So what I' wearing.
But back to fashion or how we
decorate our houses. It's really individual and I just
think it should be an expression of who we are and what we
(13:38):
enjoy and not have to match some oh, that's not
in style anymore or I would never have furniture like that.
I don't know, maybe I've just never had enough money or that
kind of money to be choosy like that or to
care. I grew up in a small town. I really don't care.
I like it to be comfortable and I like to feel cozy for me.
(14:00):
But I do go into other people's houses sometimes and think, oh,
that's really nice. But I think that we need
to do what feels right in our brains.
It makes us feel happy. And if you have a creative mind,
use your creativity to do things in a way
that is more playful,
(14:23):
is in a way that makes you happy and makes it doable.
So the happy part could be doing the fun way or color coding.
And that makes me happy to look and see my shirt's color coded.
I've done that before and it's actually harder for me
to find things that way. I do better if I have all my
T shirts together and then all button up shirts, which I honestly
(14:44):
hardly ever ever wear because I don't know if you have clothing
sensitivity, but buttons and seams.
I feel like I'm in a straight jacket or something.
So I hardly ever wear them. But if I put all my black
shirts together, I start to think some my T shirts
are missing or something. I can't find them, so I do better.
(15:05):
I guess that's leaning to my weakness of not being able
to figure out where things are when they're color coded.
Yeah, even certain ways of organizing my closet, like rolling
up things or putting them in different buckets.
If they're in a bucket, I don't always see and maybe I'm not
wearing them anyway. But yeah, there's Always a struggle
(15:25):
with that, of having the perfect way of having my closet.
But right now I'm pretty happy with it.
It's clean, so I'm not going to complain.
But
when. Let's see.
So this could even be things that aren't just things that you're
trying to get done, but
(15:45):
whatever, whatever your relationships are with people, you might
have people skills, you might have a lot of empathy.
I was going to say, I have been told
recently on Reddit, actually I was shown
a study that says
that, and this was in children with adhd, that children with
(16:08):
ADHD have less empathy and more pertaining to
the hyperactive form of adhd, which I think is a very common
form of ADHD in children, especially boys, and not as
common in adults, but still totally there.
Hello, I'm one of them. But if
(16:30):
you are more empathetic than most, and I am, and I
think there are a lot of women with ADHD who are, you can
use empathy, you can use your people skills to
help you in whatever you need to do in
life, whether it's booking appointments or making a return or
(16:52):
being able to negotiate something that you're doing.
I teach yoga. Me being able to negotiate, getting a time for
a class or a day for a class, pushing for things, maybe having
a strength there as you get older, that might strengthen.
As I get older, it does. Because I think I'm not going to
spend my time doing things I don't want to do or I'm not going
to let people walk over all over me anymore.
(17:14):
So maybe I never did, but I think I did.
And whatever is strengthening, whatever muscle strengthening
in your being, use that to your advantage.
Use that to maybe get an appointment with a
doctor that you need. When they say there aren't any, use
your resource fullness and think, well, have you
(17:37):
had any cancellations? And they say no.
And say, well, what's the best time to call back each day to
find out if you've had cancellations?
And I have been told Monday mornings are really good because
they get their voicemails before they open and they get
all these cancellations and you can call in and you can get appointments
or first thing in the morning on another day.
And sometimes if you just keep asking questions and use your
(18:00):
people skills, use your persistence, use your creativity, you
can accomplish things that you might not be able to otherwise.
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, I think, I don't know. I think this, this
is my guess. We have the ADHD brain that has strengths.
(18:20):
But I think a lot of Our strengths that we have happen
because we have ADHD. Many of us either weren't diagnosed
as children or weren't diagnosed as teenagers, weren't diagnosed
as young adults. Lived for me most of my life,
probably most of my life before I die, it'll be.
(18:40):
The majority of my life will be not knowing I had ADHD unless
I live past 100, which I hope to. But we'll see.
But if that's the case, you've had to develop
skills, you've had to become stronger, you've had to find ways
to do well in school, to do well in
your job if you went to college. How do I organize this?
(19:03):
I was blown away when I got to college.
How behind I felt all the time in high school.
I never felt like that. And I did go to a little high school.
Granted, maybe it wasn't as hard as some other high schools,
but I was able to get straight A's. I was able
to use my people skills, and maybe those developed more because
I needed them. But I used my people skills to
(19:27):
get to know the teacher, not to brown nose them or you
know, convince them to do something that they didn't want
to. Not every teacher liked me, but to understand what
their needs were, what they wanted, and give it to them
and find a way to satisfy them. And when I say not
every teacher liked me, it wasn't that they didn't like me, but
(19:49):
you know how some teachers like the sports kids.
I wasn't a sports girl. My best friend ran track.
She was. She played volleyball. She dull all the, you know,
the sports I play, I played. No, I didn't play volleyball.
I played volleyball for fun. When I went to my friend's
volleyball practice to see if I wanted to play one year, I wasn't
very good at all. I thought I wasn't very good.
(20:10):
I was more like a, anybody want to hang out and play
volleyball kind of thing. I didn't know what actual volleyball
games were like. And it was. Every sport was more
social for me. I did love softball. I love to hit the
ball hard. I. Pitching sounded horrific to me because a
lot of pressure there, but I could throw the ball hard.
(20:30):
I could play short shot and second base really well.
But for me, really, it's just out there being able to talk
to people, Sit on the bench and talk to people.
Yeah, yeah. I took tennis classes in college.
I didn't know that there was a need for control.
I could play ping pong, so I thought it was like ping pong.
(20:51):
And I guess there's control. With ping pong, you don't.
You have to hit it on the table. But you know, hitting it hard
is good if you can hit it on the table.
And with tennis, I just didn't have the control at all.
I didn't, I, I found I wasn't good at a lot of
sports, but I liked, I liked going. But yeah,
whatever that is. If you had. When I had teachers who liked
(21:13):
the sports, kids more than they liked me, ignored me, didn't
come and talk to me on the sides and stuff, I thought, okay,
I can still figure out how to get a good grade in this class.
And I think those are good experiences to have.
Not everyone has to like us, but,
but I guess leaning to your strengths is not.
(21:35):
Is partially using the skills that you have.
You know, the outside of the box ways that you may have to do
something, but it's also
drawing closer to things that will be easier for
you, like finding a job, to do,
(21:56):
a hobby, to do a sport, to do games, whatever
it is. If you can control your environment, doing the things
that, that aren't. It's not like you're not going
to challenge yourself, but don't do things that are setting yourself
up for failure or that you're not going to enjoy.
You know, if you're not going to enjoy playing tennis, then don't
(22:17):
play tennis. Maybe that's pretty simple to understand, but some
people feel a pressure to participate in things because
their friends are doing it or their spouse is doing it, boyfriend,
whatever. And you don't always have to do everything together.
You can do things that you love without them.
And, and you don't always have to tag along and just be the peacemaker
(22:42):
and just not enjoy it. And you can pursue
hobbies, you can find a new job if you can.
Not that you have to quit what you're doing right now, but really
think about what goes well with your way of
thinking. Even if you do gather with friends
and play games. Maybe you love the board games that have
(23:03):
letters like Scrabble or I like the talking games,
like what's that one where there's the buzzer and I can't even
think of it right now. I like the ones where everyone's talking
and sharing. Of course, I think those are more fun.
But I do like some like Yahtzee and stuff that's fun.
Roll in the dice and things like that.
Really. It's hard for me to sit for very long though.
(23:24):
I don't know if you're like that with a lot of games.
It's like I can play them for a while, but then I need to get
up and walk around. So. And really also creating the
system. So as we talked about before, systems, routines, and
everything that help build energy, help build that momentum,
that excitement in you, and not away from it.
(23:44):
So it's just aligning yourself, your patterns, what you do
as much as you can with how you like to do it.
And sometimes there's some exploration in that.
You know, you might have a system that's working for a while,
and. And then you just start to find that it's going stale
and you're not doing well with it anymore.
And so my mom used to have a saying, like, nothing
(24:06):
works as well as a new broom or something.
And in the olden days, a broom used to be a wooden stick
with a straw, and it was literally straw.
And they're pretty good. I'm sure they still sell them,
but they're probably. Honestly, they probably have some plastic
in the straw or something. But at some point, that broom would
get thinner and thinner and thinner and thinner.
(24:27):
And what was once really bushy and spread out
at the bottom was really worn down. And maybe two thirds
of what it used to be. And at some point, it's not picking
up the dirt as well. It's not doing as well.
And eventually, it probably wasn't nearly as often as we order
things, replace things now in our lives.
(24:47):
But my mom would get a new broom, and she would say
that when we would come up with a new system, we used
to get up on Saturday mornings and we'd all clean.
Or we'd have a system one summer for going
out on Saturdays and helping with the gardening, or in whatever
that system was that we had, it would work for a
(25:08):
while, and then it wasn't anymore. And sometimes
you just need that fresh start, that fresh idea.
And that's, I think, why we like New Year's.
It's a fresh start. It just feels like it's the beginning of
a year. And so we feel like setting new goals.
We feel like doing something new. We feel like committing to
what we tried to do before and maybe doing it in
(25:29):
a different way. And so whatever that new broom is for
you, if you need to change your system, and maybe that's what
it plays to your strength, is that you need a little fresh
start. Have you ever just rearranged furniture to get that
feel, to put your bed in a different side of
the room? I love doing that. I always think that's so fun.
I always think it's so exciting. Although right now our house,
(25:53):
our bed is. Our room is set up so we really
can't do that. We've been in this house for three
years. But our bed is a king size bed.
The room is good size, but it's not huge at
all. And one whole side is windows and the windows
go this far to the floor. They're, you know, like, I know I'm
(26:14):
looking right here because this room's kind of similar, but I
think the windows go even lower in our bedroom, like less than
a foot from the floor. And so to put the bed in front of
that, especially in Florida where it's humid, not a good idea.
It's just going to get all moldy and stuff.
And the other walls, one wall is a TV wall and
it's not even big enough for the bed.
(26:34):
And the other wall is a wall on the way to the bathroom and closet.
So it doesn't have room either. So I'm kind of sad about that.
Kind of sad not to be able to move my bed.
I guess we could put move our bedroom upstairs, but I don't want
to do that either. But I mentioned before is finding
someone else. If you really don't have a strength for something
and you need to get it done, find somebody who can partner with
(26:56):
you and help you with it. If you have a husband, a
boyfriend, a good friend, somebody that you can do
that with, it's really helpful. I love that in my
marriage that there are a lot of things that I can't stand to
do. There's a lot of things my husband doesn't like to do.
And when I see he hates making these phone
(27:17):
calls, I'm like, hey, you want me to make that phone call for
you? Or I'll write to your doctor. I'll go on your little health
online thing and write to your doctor and ask him
this question and happy to do it. Like, doesn't take any
effort for me. It's very simple and he does a
lot of things for me that I don't like to do.
I'm kind of the person that takes care of bugs in our house.
(27:37):
So I wish I wasn't the only person who did that.
But all those things can be helpful.
So just finding someone who complements your weakness or whether
it's. It doesn't even have to be a weakness, it could just be
something you don't have time to do, you don't want to do, or
it really is just, you know, something that's really difficult
for you. What's interesting with that is when we do
(28:00):
something for a friend, sometimes doing that same thing for ourselves
is harder because there's a. An emotional attachment sometimes
for the actual person. So, like, if you were going
to go help a person get rid of things and help
them move and declutter or clean out a room
(28:21):
or something, you're not going to have the same attachment to
it. And clearly you'll ask them, you know, like, hey, are you
okay getting rid of this? But you can be a little more
brutal with things and it can support them in that.
Whereas them doing it alone might be hard, or you doing it for
yourself might be a lot harder. So that's kind of interesting
is that our emotions are different when we do something for somebody
(28:43):
else. We're like, oh, sure, I'll come in and do this.
You know, there's no draining effect for it.
But tell yourself when you do recognize these
strengths and you recognize these things that are difficult for
you and you see other people able to do it, it's okay.
We're all different. It doesn't mean there's something wrong
(29:03):
with you. It just means that your challenges are different than
other people's. And. And understanding that is so, so helpful.
Trying to think. I don't even know why I write notes.
Honestly, because I look at these and, yeah, can't make
sense of them while I'm talking to you.
(29:24):
Oh, dun, dun, dun. I guess one
thing I did think of asking you before I started, and I'll ask
you now, but
try to think of at least one thing and maybe even
three. You could do two if you want.
I know there's an in between, but try to think of one thing
(29:46):
that you can just say in your mind right now, I am really
good at this. It's really easy for me to do this.
And maybe that's easy for you to just name it.
To just say, yeah, I'm good at this.
I have no problem talking to people on the phone.
I have no problem walking up and handing.
Handling a confrontation. Or maybe that's not your strength.
(30:07):
I have no problem just going in a room and
saying, let's clean this up. I have no problem organizing a
party. You know, you might have some things that you think, yeah,
and you might not think of them as strengths because you might
think, well, that's fun for me. But what's fun for you is usually
a strength. Unless it's like a roller coaster or something.
That's not a strength, though. But it might be.
(30:29):
Maybe you're not afraid of heights and that's a good thing so
you don't get dizzy as easily. But recognizing your strengths
is really, really great. And having confidence in what you
do and, and just noticing like what, what
is my natural flow energy. And then whatever's stunting
(30:51):
that progress, look at that and think, how can I
get this flow? How can I get this slow going back
to that task paralysis, you know, that's a tough one because
it can affect all of us. Maybe not all of you deal with it,
but it hits me a lot. It does. It didn't five,
10 years ago. And I think my guess is,
(31:13):
is that when my life was more structured at home because I
had kids, it was pretty simple. I've got to do this, got to
do this, got to do this. And that was enough to drive me to
do it and I wanted to do it and I found a system to
make that work. Having more open ended time or not
enough time are two struggles for me.
So then without enough time then I think, well, I don't have
(31:35):
enough time to do it. And having too much time, I think, well,
I don't need to do it yet, so instead I'll do this.
And that's I think where a weakness is.
Because
I don't want too much structure when I don't have enough
time, you know, I don't want to just like.
And now when you have this very little time, you're going to
do this. This is like, hey, maybe I need a little break.
(31:56):
Okay, so maybe on those days it doesn't work.
But on my days of open ended time it's harder
to tell myself, you really need to do this right now.
When I really don't have to do it right then.
So what would playing to my strength be?
It really would be. I think that's why I rely on accountability
(32:18):
because I do have relationships with people.
I do have people that I can rely on to
say, I want to get this done. Will you
either a help me or I want to tell
you at 3 o' clock today that I got it done.
Or just set little goals with each other, I'm
(32:41):
going to get this done. Even just talking to other people who
are doing similar things without actually having the accountability
makes you feel that way. I have another friend that's doing
a completely different endeavor for her
way of making money, what she wants to spend her time with, what
her hobbies are and stuff. She loves making jewelry and so she's
(33:04):
pursuing that and it's really easy to see where
the holes are for someone else with their structure.
Their setup. In fact, she has a lot of great setups and she
has some things that aren't going as well as she wanted.
And I could see today when I was talking to you, one of the holes.
And when I saw that, it helped me see where mine are too,
(33:25):
and what I could do to make that better.
So sometimes just having a person to bounce ideas off
of, to share what you're doing with, whether you
actually have the structure to say,
I need to work on this and I need to be able to report to
you at five o' clock sometimes, that's not always convenient
(33:48):
and it's not always, you know, doable.
It's not always, like the greatest way to have a friendship.
You know, maybe it's not the way you want to share your time
with each other, but just sharing what you're doing
can help you be more aware of what you're doing and how
you're doing it and maybe be more motivating.
And I know motivation isn't always what can get us out of a
(34:09):
rut, but it can help us make sense of
maybe a better flow or a better routine or what can help
push that into gear. So, yeah, playing to your strength
of having a friend who can help and even noticing that, what
motivates you? For me, talking to people, even just listening
to people, listening to little Q and A sessions on
(34:33):
podcasts or whatever it is that I'm doing that I'm spending
my time with or with yoga. When I first started teaching yoga,
I was just soaking it up right and left, taking more workshops,
reading books and listening to people's little webinars.
They didn't do podcasts as much for yoga then.
They probably still don't. Actually.
Yoga's not a hot topic on podcasts, but I would
(34:55):
attend webinars and online things, or even in person things,
because being there would help me see myself
and how I wanted to incorporate what I was learning.
And when I did, it was super, super helpful.
So hopefully this is helpful to you.
Just when I talk to you, it helps give you ideas of what
(35:16):
strengths do I have. Is it my confidence in myself?
Is it my ability to get up and go when I need to?
Is it my ability to talk to myself and tell myself?
Maybe for some people, they might think talking to yourself is
not a good thing, but it can be a good thing if it can
help you do what you need to do. It says get up, walk.
(35:38):
So I don't know if you've seen Gone with the Wind, but there's
a Part where
Scarlet needs help. She always needs help.
Anyway, I just remember one of the men said horse make tracks
or something like that. And that's sometimes what I think is
like with my own legs, like make tracks.
Just start moving. Just go, just go.
Like I'm not telling a horse to do it.
I'm telling myself to do it. So anyway, anyway, anyway, so
(36:02):
excited to be here. I'm also excited to tell you that I am
almost done with my website, like with my whole newsletter sequencing
and stuff, which doesn't even probably make sense to anybody
but me. But it's just the thing that's been tripping
me up for a long time. And once I get that out of my way,
it's almost out of my way. I've been working on it for a couple
(36:23):
days. I can have a clearer picture of what
I'm doing here. And that can be good.
That can be really good. Let me know what you're working
on. I don't know if any of you are
at home. People, entrepreneurs, working remotely, working in
person, not working, having children at home.
(36:46):
Full time job, part time job. I mean we all do
different things, but there are a lot of people who have the
entrepreneurial desires when they have ADHD because
you have ideas and they're burning ideas.
That one book, what's it called? It's an ADHD book for
women. It's one of the ones that my friend told me
(37:06):
to get and I liked it. Okay, I liked it better.
Well, I have a harder time reading now.
Okay, I'm going to look it up. It's ADHD book women, I can
tell you. Nope, not that one. Okay, here it
is. A radical guide for women with ADHD.
Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly and Breakthrough Barriers
(37:28):
by. I need to give them the credit. I'm saying the name
of their book. Okay, I know. Don't give me a pop up.
I don't want 15% off. I'm just trying to find.
Okay, this did not take me to just an easy answer.
I want to find their names. It's probably.
Oh, here we go. Anyway, I have the book but I lost it.
So I have it on audio. I purchased it in February 2023.
(37:50):
Sarah sold an Ms. Is the author Michelle Frank,
Frank doctor in psychology. And one more.
Who's the other one? Ellen Littman, PhD.
She made the forward. The other two are the authors.
I didn't love it as much as my friend who recommended it
(38:12):
to me and especially trying to read it because I have
a hard time sitting and reading a book, but I listen to
it on audio and a lot of the things that
give you scenarios and stuff of people.
And if I can't relate to it, I. Especially if they're telling
me like, and we know you feel bad about yourself for
this and I think, but I don't, you know?
(38:34):
So then I tune them out. It's like, don't assume how
I feel, you know, Please. So hopefully I'm not assuming how you
feel, but. But I really, like there was
a part. And honestly, I listen to it a lot when I'm
falling asleep. So a lot of times when I do that, the next night
I should pick up this book again because I've actually run out
of podcast episodes on this one podcast that's really drowsy
(38:55):
sounding. I listen to it a lot and fall asleep and I'm all
caught up. But what I'll do is if I fall asleep
pretty quickly, then I'll go back the next night and see where
I fell asleep and then listen for 10 more minutes or 15 more
minutes or whatever. That's my sleeping method lately.
And with this book, there was one chapter that I really
liked because they talked about how our brains can be
(39:16):
just so creative that we have a lot of great
ideas and then that turns into goals and
ideas and I want to do this and I want to
do that, and it's just a burning desire.
And it can be hard because sometimes there are no guidebooks
for that. Especially when. I mean, when I first had a desire
(39:36):
to write a book, I was 22 and I majored
in English, but I wasn't a creative writer at all.
Like, I knew I couldn't make up a story for the life of me.
So I thought, okay, well, what it'd be on, I had no idea
because I'm not really creative in that way.
So I never knew what it would be. It's kind of like for a podcast,
I thought for like five or six years.
(39:57):
But what would it be about? I don't know.
I try to think about ideas. I don't know.
I don't know. Until I found out I had ADHD.
But thankfully, the desire to write a book.
And I shouldn't say that because, you know, it would have been
a nice thing. Thankfully that left because it's hard to
have a burning idea and then not act on it.
That I don't think it left because, like, I didn't do
(40:20):
it because honestly, it was still with me probably into my 40s,
so probably for 20 years, but. And who knows maybe someday
that'll come back and I'll write a book for.
For us. We'll see. But I. But, yeah,
I know what it's like to have that burning desire because you
think about it all the time. And then, you know, it shifted to,
(40:43):
you should teach yoga, which was a. Came out of the blue.
I never thought I'd like yoga, and here I've taught yoga
for over 20 years. So, yeah, that was weird, but it
did. And then the whole, like, have a podcast, have
a podcast, have a podcast. Like, you know, why is that
in me? It is. And you might have something that's in you
(41:06):
and that you want to do, and you have ideas.
Ideas. And I don't know if you ever watch reality tv.
Now I'm just talking like you're in my.
In my. My house with me if you ever watch reality tv.
But there are a few people I've watched on there, a few women
probably about my age that I've seen that I think they
must have adhd, at least have this component of it of just
being this entrepreneur and having this idea of like, I'm gonna
(41:28):
make this. And they. They really can't narrow it
down because it's such a dream. Of all the things, it's kind
of like, I'm writing a book. What's it gonna be about?
I don't know, but I'm writing a book.
I'm designing the COVID You know, like, you can do all the things
that you like, but that's okay to design the COVID
if you don't know. You know what I mean?
Like, you're playing to your strength.
(41:49):
You could get a step closer. That could get you there.
It really could. But at some point, you have to do the other
groundwork or paid somebody else to do that or have a little
bit more concrete information. Really helped when I had
a topic for my. For my podcast that, yeah, it
would be fun to do a little. I have to get my
(42:11):
website a little better. One of the reasons I switched website
platforms is the new one has the capacity for a membership.
I don't know if I want to do that, have a membership.
But memberships, courses, it's all in one thing where
we could have some kind of thing that we do
together. Like, everyone work on their business idea and,
(42:33):
you know, and go. Go through these steps and just make progress
together. It'd be fun. But I need to find out where your
interests are, where your struggles are, where you are
in your life, if that's not even something that you want to
do. One of my friends who's not quite my age, she's five years
younger, but she. She hasn't been diagnosed, but she's positive
(42:55):
she has ADHD too. But she told me probably five years ago
when I was all, yeah, I want to have podcasts and I want to,
you know, and all this stuff. And she said, somebody asked me
what my goals are. She like, I don't.
I don't have goals anymore. I. I'm like in the mode of wanting
to relax. You know, I want to slow down, not go faster.
And I thought, I want to go faster. I'm feeling like.
(43:15):
I mean, obviously I'm a yoga teacher, so I know I need to slow
down to hoop, but I'm feeling like when you get older,
if you've. If you've even hit your 40s, you're probably
thinking, hopefully you're not thinking, oh, I'm so old.
Because you're not. You're not that old.
You're just 40 or 48, whatever you are, it's not that old.
And then you hit your 50s and you're like, oh, this is kind of
(43:35):
legit. A little older. But now I'm 60.
I am 60 years old. And you start to think, okay, that is.
Is getting to that latter. It is in the latter half
of life. Okay, let's, like, we can't.
We can't pretend it's not. Unless I live to 120, which
isn't very likely, but, you know, it'd be fun if that could
happen. My. My friend, my age, my college friend just had her
(43:58):
birthday yesterday, so she just turned 61, and I need to take.
Text her, But I for. But she told me I don't
wanna live past a hundred because it's not pleasant.
So. But my plan is to live to a hundred and have it
be pleasant. But there are people that you
start to realize, like, I didn't do this in my twenties when
I wanted to write a book. I didn't do this in my 30s.
(44:19):
I did great things. I had children and loved that
life. You know, that was a great thing I didn't do.
You know, all those things, like, at some point, if I want to
do them, I gotta do them now. You know, now's the time.
So I think that's what drives me. And maybe that,
like playing to a strength. What does drive you?
(44:42):
What is your strength? Is it even just an idea or
a concept? I'm not getting any younger.
Not something to be sad about. It's something to rejoice.
About, because aren't we glad that we still get to
beyond this earth? So that's something to be joyful about.
And if you do need to slow down, that's okay, too.
(45:05):
That can be your mode. But if that something drives
you to do more, and it does help you do more than you do something
drives you to slow down, and you need to create that pace for
your life, then that's what you do. But you find what drives
you. You find what energizes. You find where you pick
up and go, I can do this. And then that's where you do
(45:27):
well life in life and do well, life.
Words don't always come out the way I want them to, but that's
okay. I think that's it. I think that's it.
I'm going to close out my little window.
That gives me ideas of what to talk about.
I am so excited to finish up with my podcast episodes
this week because, well, I'm going to be gone all next week,
(45:48):
so I need to record next week's episodes this week.
And I made this dumb little goal when I made episode 100.
And it sounded smart because I know people, so this was not
playing to my strength. It sounded smart.
There are people who do things like, they really set up structure
in their lives and they say things like, you know, every month's
gonna have a theme. And I did try that.
(46:10):
I think in February and March and stuff, every month is gonna
have a theme. And that's what we'll focus on.
In my gym, I've worked at a gym that did that and.
And I just thought it was fantastic.
I love that she did that. I loved her commitment to it.
I loved her ideas. I loved all of it.
But it's not me. But it was an idea and I tried
it. And then I had an idea on impulsive, part of
(46:34):
my ADHD. While I was recording that episode 100 and I
had 10 things that I was talking about that each of the 10 things
had 10 things. And so it was supposed to be a hundred ideas.
And I thought, I really can't talk about a hundred of these ideas
in depth. So I'll go into the 10, kind of gloss over
the other times 10 and 101 through 110 will
(46:56):
be about those 10 things. I felt so locked into that I've
stuck to it. I had to reverse the order 4, 104 and 104 and
3. And thank you for bearing with me while I kept talking about
that because I had to get myself to at Least do that.
But I'm on 108 now. I only have two more.
And then I'm like, freedom. I can talk about whatever I want
(47:19):
and I know I can anyway, but I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying
to be true to my word. So anyway, thank you so
much for being here. If you want to check out my website
and see if it even looks any different, if you have even looked
at it before, it may not look much different.
I need a new picture. It doesn't really look like me.
I had my hair cut shorter and it was Easter and it
was curly and I never wear it down. It's straight today because
(47:41):
I just straightened it. But
yeah, I wear it pulled back all the time.
I'm going tomorrow to get my root touch up and
highlights and I. I decide not to book a
haircut too, because why I always pull it back.
So I don't. Yeah, so that's that. That's my excitement.
(48:03):
I know I brought up the hair thing, but thank you for
listening. Oh, because my picture, yeah, it's a shorter haircut,
so I'll probably just pull it back in a ponytail and do a different
picture or wear a hat. We shall see.
It's one of those things that is not my expertise.
It's not my strength is the photo taking thing.
So I might have to get one of my daughter to take one, but she
(48:24):
took the last one. I need to get her to take a hundred
because clearly I'm just not happy with that last
one. But anyway, that's it. That's it.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening.
Feel free to contact me. I do have a contact form on my, on
my website. I even have. If you go to my about page.
I figured out how to. Instead of making you fill out a
(48:44):
form, which you can do, you can do that and get on my
newsletter email list, which I would love because I share ideas
and stuff that I forget to talk about here or that might, you
know, just be a little more clear there.
And we can write back and forth. But I also figured out how to
just say you can email me here and there's a link.
This is my exciting thing. There's a link and it actually just
(49:05):
takes you to your email and. And I'm already in the 22 window
or whatever. I have to cough and I don't know how to do a
cough button, but maybe I do. I'll just try
to not cough.
I'm almost done. Okay, let's do a little pause.
Just a Second, something you might not know about me
is I have really bad asthma and trying to hold back
(49:28):
a cough and saying I'm going to cough turns
into a whole coughing fit. So I think I can talk but
clearly my voice isn't much better. I'm going to keep
it weak. Anyway, I need to say goodbye, so
thank you so much for being here. Just keeping it real.
I could wait and do a little real normal voice goodbye
(49:51):
later, but I won't because I want this to be as real as
can be. We live in a world of AI. This I cannot stand AI
voices on YouTube videos or or even podcast
background. Sometimes they do them in the.
I don't know what they do. You can tell when the voice is like
auto tuned or something. Drives my brain nuts.
It kind of feels like pins are going into my head or something.
(50:14):
Needles. So anyway, so I'm keeping it real.
So hopefully my post coughing voice doesn't sound like that
to you. But thank you for being here and I'll be back.
I'll be back. I'm gonna record another one for this week
and two for next week and I probably will record more
for when I get back because I find when I get
back from a trip it's hard for me to get back into it.
(50:37):
That's another episode to come. I was just reading on a.
It must have been a Reddit post about ADHD that there's someone.
Oh it wasn't. It was actually in a Facebook ADHD group, but that
there's a ADHD expert doctor person who has
a name for it. That there's this period of time that we need
(50:59):
to regroup, which is really obvious to a lot of
us. But I'm really curious what happens in the brain and
I've been trying to find that post and find out who that doctor
is and kind of learn about it, like what the technical thing
is that's happening. Because I find that when I get
back it's like what? I can't do all those things that I
normally do. I gotta regroup here and just do the basics.
(51:22):
So anyway, I will be back this week and next and
beyond. Bye.
Frozen dreams are left for tomorrow
Without
(51:44):
a call
Rewind I've run out of time to
(52:06):
sing melodies and harmonies I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me.
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