September 30, 2025 • 43 mins
Struggling to find ADHD support systems that actually work? Once you find what helps, how do you fit it in your daily life?
In this episode, Renee shares multiple ways to support your ADHD, how to let go of what doesn't work for you, and how to build routines, tools, and support that fits in your day to day life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:29):
Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with ADHD.
Renee Allen, the host of this podcast, excited to be here today.
Today's episode is 110. If you've been listening, I'm
excited for this one because I had a plan for 100
through 110 and I feel locked in. So, not
(00:49):
trying to get this over with or anything, but I'm excited to
have more freedom after this in my own mind.
We'll see if that actually happens, but thank you for being
here today. Today I'm going to talk about how to
build or create or sustain all of the
above support systems that help you with your
(01:10):
ADHD that actually fit into your life.
Because some things aren't easy to fit into life and
sometimes we have to make room for it, and sometimes maybe we
don't want to, and that's okay. My psychiatrist, resident last
year, maybe earlier this year, I've had two, three different
(01:31):
residents. I have a fourth one in my next visit, but I
have to go every six months to be able to keep taking my medication.
And I had just come back from a
trip and I was telling him it was maybe a week
and a half later. I was just telling him that it was harder for
me to get back to. To being productive, being organized
(01:54):
to the point that I was before. After the trip, it took me a
long time to do that. And it was just something I was learning
about myself. And the medication didn't really help with that.
And I really just needed to talk out loud.
I mean, it's not like he was my therapist, but when I said that,
he said, well, maybe you should go to a therapist or
(02:14):
a life coach or something. And all I thought is, no.
I mean, I even told him that. Not that I'm against therapy or
life coaching. I'm actually a certified life coach, but I
just thought, I am constantly trying to learn more about
this. I have a lot of people I can talk to.
(02:34):
I have a lot of support systems. I don't feel like that
will add to anything or help me right now.
And maybe it would. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just thought, I don't
have time for that. More than anything, I don't have time for
that. I teach so many yoga classes. I have so many places, places
I need to be and doctor's appointments and things.
I can't fit one more thing in. And when I think about anything
(02:57):
that we want to add into our lives, it might be hard to fit
in. And so if there's something that you've been wanting to do
or Set aside time for. I want to talk to
you about how to maybe get that done today or how, how
to find time for it. And I apologize for my voice being
so groggy sounding. It's just still the end of
(03:19):
having a cold and it's just how it is.
So here I go. But there are different
ways to find support. Some of them are pretty obvious, like the
therapist, the coaching. And that's actually really super helpful
for women with adhd. It may be something you're doing right now,
it may be something you're interested in doing.
(03:40):
I am a certified life coach, but I'm not doing that right
now. I'm not focusing on one on one coaching.
It's not that I haven't done it, but I'm not focusing on that
right now. Just adding that because it's my distraction in
my head that I needed to get out. But that is one option
for support. You could have professional support.
You could have personal support. You could have self support.
(04:02):
That's an option. That's professional support.
You could have support groups. It could be an online
group, it could be a local group. I don't know of any
local ADHD groups live in a huge city.
But I know universities sometimes have things like that
set up through their counseling centers.
(04:24):
They do that for anxiety or depression.
They'll have groups where you can listen to a therapist in
a group. I even do this in person. Someone I know
did that in person in a group therapy.
I guess I want to say session, I want to say group, but I
already said group. A program for depression, for therapy
(04:47):
for depression. And you went every day and met with
the group, met with a therapist, and once a week had time with
that therapist. So there are group therapy options.
And there may be one in your community, might be in person, it
might be through a university. Maybe it's open to
people who don't go to school there.
Maybe. I know community colleges a lot of times offer things
(05:10):
to the community when you're not a full time student.
So those are things you can look on into.
And they're definitely online groups.
I want to actually do that in different ways.
Not just call it a support group, but have different programs.
It's just one of my many goals. We'll see what happens with that
someday. But maybe we'll do that together someday.
(05:32):
But also you could just even have family and friends.
That could be 100% your support system.
It could be a big part of your support system.
Not all of them want to talk to you about these things.
And they don't even have to have ADHD to be someone that
supports you. Sometimes I think of, oh, I'm getting
(05:52):
the support from the people like that.
I relate to that. Oh, do you do this?
Yes, I do that, too. That is a level of support for
me. But also friends or relatives who talk
to me about things that I do that they
don't notice that I think are glaringly obvious or that are
(06:16):
ways about me that a lot of people don't have, and it's
probably due to adhd. So that can be helpful just to
talk to people who don't relate. But even just to
let you vent. My husband listens to me vent.
I don't know if it's venting. He does listen to me talk a lot
about things that I just need to talk about that he's not
(06:37):
necessarily giving any input, too. But I just talk and
talk and talk and talk, and that is a level of support for me.
And even just talking out loud to children, you can do that.
Not that you're going to share your problems with them, but I
find that when I'm around other people, I talk out
loud more, especially children. I didn't realize I did this
(07:00):
until I was pregnant. I talked to my oldest daughter, who's now
a mom, has her own children. She did a podcast episode with me,
but I talked to her throughout the whole pregnancy.
Everywhere we went, you know, I'm in the grocery store, or should
I get Cheerios or should I get Wheaties?
You know, whatever it was, I just talked to her out loud.
Didn't realize it at first, but I did.
And when she was born the first time
(07:24):
I went somewhere without her. I missed her.
I missed talking to her. I just thought, I'm used
to narrating my life, and it is helpful sometimes to narrate
your life. I didn't really notice. I do it with my grandchildren
to my ground till my grandson asked me about it a couple
months ago, and now I notice it more.
(07:44):
And maybe I probably did it with my kids all the time when they
were growing up. But he just said, he calls.
They call me Marma. Marma, why do you talk to yourself all the
time? And I was just saying, you know, like, first I'm going
to do this, you know, something he. They'd asked me to do.
And, you know, I was saying, well, I'm going to put this
little laundry in, and da, da, da, da.
And it wasn't really to explain. It was just to make sense of
(08:04):
my plan in my head and it was a cute moment
because he has adhd, too, and he knows that Marma
takes the same medicine that he does.
And I said, oh, I think I talk out
loud because it's part of my adhd. And I said,
what do you think you do because you have adhd?
(08:27):
I don't know how I worded it. And he started thinking about
it. It was a fun little conversation, but it could even just
be conversations out loud that don't have to do
with adhd. With children, if you narrate life, it
can help be a support, not the support.
Sometimes we think of support as coming to somebody with a problem
(08:49):
and saying, can you help me with this?
Or it'll just help me to talk about it.
It'll just help me to cry about it. And that is an amazing
way to have support. But other ways to have support is just
to do something that supports your ability to function.
So that is one of those seeking accommodations, creating your
(09:14):
own accommodations. You can ask for accommodations if you're
in college, if you're in high school, if you're listening in
high school or with your mom or something younger, you
can ask for those things. I wish I'd known that I
went. This is my first time, I think I've ever thought.
I wish I'd known I had adhd. I don't think they had
(09:36):
ADHD accommodations then, anyway. But it would have
been helpful, now that I think about it.
Not that it matters to anybody else, because it's clearly been
a long time since I've been to college.
I went to college right out of high school, but I got straight
A's in high school and everything. I took the act.
And you're not supposed to say, my kids tell me it's not the
ACT test because the T is for test. But I took the actual.
(10:00):
And I got perfect scores in two of the sections and
not so perfect scores in the other two.
They're all timed. I could not get the comprehension fast enough
on those questions. So the science and math, you know,
zipped through. Understood it. Did it?
The things that I had to read, process and look at
(10:20):
the answers. I had four or five in each section undone
at the end, so I didn't score as well.
And I only took it one time. I was from a very little town,
drove a half hour to take it. I don't know if it was offered
more than one time then, but that lesson taught me to have my
kids take it, like three times. And it really made a
difference. Their scores would boost because you get Used to
(10:41):
the timing. But my youngest daughter, when she was in
high school, she said, it takes me so long to take
tests to study. She would get really good
grades. But she knew that her friends could get their work done
so much faster. Faster. Or complete their tests so much faster.
And I looked into it, and they actually do offer accommodations
(11:05):
for ACT sat if you have a
diagnosis of a learning disability or probably adhd.
I don't remember particularly looking into that because I didn't
think any of us had ADHD back then. But you can have
accommodations to have a much longer time to take
(11:26):
those tests. And I mentioned to her, because you'd have to.
I think. I think the requirements were not only something
from the doctor, but also from the teachers.
It was either one or the other. Maybe if you had a.
I don't know if you're familiar with all the.
I mean, every state's different. So I was going to say in the
U.S. but in California, it's an IEP if you have an individual
(11:48):
education plan. So if you had an IEP and they allowed
you more time to take your test, then maybe you.
You could get that. You know, I don't know.
I started looking into it, but she didn't really want to stand
out at that point, you know, like, no, I don't want Mom.
You can just stay out of it. It'll be okay.
But I didn't completely stay out of it because I did find an
ACT SAT tutoring place and paid for that, drove
(12:09):
her there, took her there, and I don't know, she
knew how to drive. I don't know why I was driving her there.
I think I was being her support system.
I could go shopping or something in between.
But it really did help just having that accommodation of
the tutoring. So tutoring can be an accommodation or actually
talking to a school or talking to a workplace.
(12:31):
They often will make accommodations.
Sometimes they're legally required to make accommodations.
Or you become your biggest advocate and you ask for
accommodations. I mentioned on a previous episode that I
was at a doctor's office. And, well, there.
Actually, there are a lot of times I don't know if.
(12:52):
If your brain goes a little crazy with audible information coming
in, and your brain's already maxed out from other
things. So you could be, you know, like at the.
The counter ordering burritos or something, and the person's
talking to you and you're thinking, I'm trying to make a decision
here. So you might say, just a second.
You know, that's an accommodation. Just a Second, I'm trying
(13:14):
to figure this out, you know, and you're asking for help, but
also pharmacists, doctor's office, they ask you so
many questions that you're just supposed to remember last word.
So your Social Security number or your driver's license number
or whatever they're asking. And these are things that I
know in my head without having to look them
(13:36):
up. But if I'm already trying to fill
something else out, listen to them, just maxed out because I
got lost getting there or whatever it is, then I say things
like, I can't answer that right now.
If you wait a minute after I finish this, then I'll answer it.
And you can make your own accommodation in.
(13:58):
In real life if you have to. Yet you can ask for people
to help you out. Help me out here. So.
And connecting with other women with adhd.
So that can be like the group therapy, but it can just
be a group. It could be a group online, it could be a
Facebook group, it could be
(14:20):
Reddit, it could be wherever and. Or social media.
That's kind of a trap in a way. But there are Instagram
accounts, TikTok. I'm not really a TikToker person.
YouTube. I have my podcast on YouTube.
But, you know, maybe someday I'll do more of this stuff.
But it's a lot. It's a lot. I can't do it all at once.
(14:40):
I have ideas for that, but you can't go chasing every
little idea. We won't get anything done.
So right now my priority is making this podcast.
The other things will come, but you can learn things from
social media or YouTube. For ADHD to get support,
you just have to be careful because it's not always accurate,
(15:04):
especially the social media things. If it's just people telling
their experience, sometimes it's accurate.
I believe that things can be accurate without a doctor having
an understanding of it. I'm not against doctors at all.
I really respect doctors and learn from doctors.
I mean, I'm saying I'm not against doctors.
That's kind of a funny statement. But I think some people don't
think, you know, like, oh, doctors don't know as much as they
(15:24):
think they do. I think they know a ton.
They know way more than I do. But I also think sometimes
when we have an experience,
we. We find connections and we just go, oh, my
goodness, I thought I was the only person who did that.
And if you went to your doctor and said, is this an ADHD
thing? They'd probably tell you no. And One of them is the.
(15:46):
The shoulder joint thing and the knee.
The hip joint thing. Have you heard of this before?
If you like to sit around with your arm up high or
lay down with your arm in the air, if you've done that ever
since you can remember. I've done it since I was a teenager.
If you sit down and you like to have your.
Your knee or your foot or both. Well, I don't
(16:10):
know if you can have. Yeah, I guess higher than your hips.
And without even knowing it, you know, you're sitting at the
table and your foot's on a chair. You're sitting at a table and
your calf is on the table. I did this in high school without.
Without even really much thought. In the car, always having your
feet up, it releases something. I'm convinced.
And
(16:32):
at least for me, it just. I can't. I have a harder
time sitting still without doing that.
And when I first saw some YouTube video of somebody or
Facebook group somebody saying, here I am sitting here waiting
for my daughter at soccer practice, and she's got her foot on
the front seat of the car, you know, sitting there with her steering
wheel and her foot there and her knee up.
(16:52):
And she said she'd seen a TikTok of someone saying, this is an
ADHD thing. And everyone was just chiming in.
Like, my goodness, I've been doing that my whole life.
I didn't know anybody else did that.
I'm convinced. I don't think it's just a hypermobility thing,
because just because you're hypermobile, you know, this is my
yoga teacher thing coming in. Just because you have ultra flexibility,
it doesn't need that. It doesn't mean that you need to be
(17:14):
that way to feel calm and relaxed. Like, I'm hypermobile in my
knee joint, where if I do a triangle pose or something,
I will lock it and it will look kind of concave.
Is that a word? You know, kind of swooped.
And for better knee health, it's better to not
lock it like that and to have a slight bend.
(17:35):
We call it a micro bend in yoga. And the way to do that, if
you don't know this, if you're in a yoga class, there is a way
to support it with a block block. But it.
Depending on how tall you are, it doesn't always work.
But the best way to do it is just to push into the ball
of your foot, and it. It just brings that knee up.
But never, ever in my life does it feel better
to just like, oh, I need to hyperextend my knee, you know,
(17:58):
that's. That's not, that's not what relaxes me.
In fact, it kind of overstretches my glutes and hamstrings and.
Yeah, so I have to kind of watch against that.
Maybe for somebody else it feels good.
But I'm just saying, just because you can bend in a
certain way doesn't mean it's more relaxing to do that.
(18:19):
But why would. Why would it be more relaxing to be like, I'm
raising my hand all the time, Besides being a child that always
wanted to raise my hand because, you know, I always wanted to
participate. But your doctor, your doctor, if
you go to a psychiatrist, if where you live, you need to
see a doctor, a medical doctor, maybe it's not a scientist psychiatrist,
(18:40):
but if you need to see a doctor to talk about medication,
to ask questions, that's where I learned OCPD is often
related to adhd. OCD can be linked, but
it's more common for the other. That's where I kind of blew my
mind. Like ocpd. Never heard of that.
And I was able to learn and support myself in it because
(19:02):
I can relate to so many things there.
But, yeah, your doctor. And just a little
side note, it's different in different states.
The laws for medication and who you need to see and everything.
But you may need to see a specialist, like
a psychiatrist to get your medication for your diagnosis
(19:25):
or to get diagnosed. You may not need to continue to see
a specialist just to get the refills and just check with
your doctor, check with your primary doctor and see.
It might be different in different states, but when I didn't
have insurance that paid very well for the psychiatrist,
it was just way too expensive. It was almost $300 each time I
went, it was every six months. And I thought, I can't keep doing
(19:47):
this even on a payment plan. So I asked my doctor, my family
doctor, or whatever you call your regular doctor, and I
asked her if she could. Could do the refills or
if I could have visits with her instead every six months, which
cost me more like $10. And she said yes, as long as
there isn't a change in the medication.
(20:08):
So that's what I did for a while until my insurance changed,
and now it's the same cost to go to the psychiatrist.
So I just go to the psychiatrist in case I want to make
a change, but I haven't in a while. So that's just
a little aside there for your support with doctors, you
know, which. Which doctor if you need to see the specialist or
not. Another thing is just asking anyone for
(20:32):
help and not just accommodations, but support to do
things that you can't do. You know, that could be whether it's
somebody just in your daily life or someone that you're actually
paying to help you and then also just helping.
I don't know. There's a kind of a fine line with this, but helping
(20:53):
others understand addhd, ADHD better.
Not everyone. Not everyone is supportive in that
way. I don't know if you've heard the response of
everyone has their thing. We're all a little bit adhd
things that show that they don't really understand it.
(21:15):
And I just look at that like I didn't used to
understand it either. And if that's not something they're interested
in learning about or they haven't learned enough that,
you know, I don't need to be the person to teach them, I guess,
is how I feel. I don't want to argue with anybody about it,
but. Not meaning you, but them. But you can
(21:38):
help others see, you can educate people who are willing to learn
about it and help them know how they can support you better.
Even just. Even without telling them this is an ADHD thing.
You may have done this with, without even realizing it before
you had a diagnosis or before you realized you had
adhd. But just saying to somebody, don't talk to
(22:00):
me while I'm doing this. I'm trying to focus on that is a way
to say you can support me right now by not talking.
And that can be helpful. Which might be funny to say, if
we're a talkative person, we might be more of the talker, but
that can happen sometimes where you're trying to figure something
out and then someone is saying something to try to help
(22:21):
you do it. And you just let them know,
just give me a minute to think about it, and then I can have
that input. So just helping people without even saying this
is an ADHD thing. But you can say, because my brain
does this, because I have a hard time with this, can
you do that? And then the last one is being
(22:44):
your own biggest supporter, your own, you can call
it a cheerleader
looking for new ways to do things, a better system,
a better method. That can be a way of support.
But you could also just give yourself a break.
That could be a support. If you ever help someone else
(23:07):
out. You know, you look at baseball, I've been watching a lot
of baseball lately, and there's a relief pitcher that comes in
when the pitcher isn't doing so well anymore, and that's to benefit
the team for sure. But there might be times that other people
relieve you when you have just, I can't keep doing
this. And you can do that for yourself.
You can give yourself permission to not have to be
(23:30):
all that, to not have to make as much
use of your time as you hoped you would.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
And not beat yourself up about it. It's not
feeling the guilt, not constantly feeling like you have
to be at some level, reach some level.
(23:51):
And when that level isn't attained for some reason, obviously
we don't want to never be able to do what we want
to do. But if you have those days, just tell yourself
this is one of those days and I guess I need the break.
And let yourself have that break. So whether you're a support
by being a cheerleader and saying you're doing great or just
saying, just, you know, you're fine, you're just supporting
(24:16):
yourself in any way that works. So how do we fit
this into our lives? Well, being your own support, you don't
have to fit that in. That's not hard at all.
But there are some things that if you just want to learn more
about ADHD and you want to fit it into your daily routine,
there are ways to do that with While you're getting ready,
while you're taking a shower, I listen to podcasts or scriptures
(24:40):
or radio or I don't really listen to the radio
anymore, do I ever. I don't think so, but that's
when I used to do my audio. Time was in the shower.
I don't take showers anymore. So that routine is.
Or at least not as consistently. I take them after hot yoga instead
of before. You know, different things.
But watching something on a laptop while you're putting
(25:02):
on the makeup. I do that a lot. I sign up for so many courses
or webinars, I don't even know if they call them webinars
anymore. I mean, different memberships to learn about things
like running my business. If they can
call this a business, I'm calling it a business.
Even though I'm not really making money with it.
And learning that there's a lot to learn.
(25:24):
So being able to do that, just playing that video, being in
that session while I'm doing my makeup or doing
my hair, coloring my hair. I'm not coloring my own hair
anymore, but all those things, fitting it in to your day, having
a place for your laptop and in your bathroom or your phone, if
you need to do that. And all the things that
(25:47):
you could do while you're traveling in your car on a walk.
Audio and video check ins. Do you do any of that?
Do you use Marco Polo to check in with a friend?
It could be somebody that you're using for accountability on
your workouts. I did my workout this morning and you're just
doing a video check in. WhatsApp does videos too.
They don't let you do them as long on WhatsApp.
(26:08):
But audio on your cell phone if you don't use
audio, if you just text, audio can be tricky because
if you push the wrong button, you can send an audio when you
didn't want to. But if you get better at it, I've gotten better
at it. You can send an audio to somebody and it's
so much easier to fit in. And it's so much more complete
than sending a text.
(26:30):
Yeah. If you are okay with that, it's pretty fabulous.
And even just reflecting on something while you're driving, giving
yourself some time without any sound to just think about things.
You can make little audio recordings if you have an idea or
something. Maybe not while you're driving, but while you're walking
or something. But. And then while you're trying to
(26:52):
get work done. The body doubling, which is basically you're
both working at the same time while it's.
Whether it's in the same space. You both meet at
a coffee shop and get on your laptops.
Body doubling can be doing a workout if that's your goal, is
you work out together, meet at the gym, go to a class, all that
(27:12):
kind of stuff. But even just doing a zoom session and you
work on something you talk about a little bit, they work on something.
You do it together, whether it's a big group or just a friend,
but even setting a timer or some kind of an
app that
helps you stay on task. I've set a Timer before,
(27:33):
like 30 minutes. It works better for me if I do that
on my computer. You literally Google 30 minute timer.
And it starts. If I set it in my kitchen, that means
I'm walking around. I usually forget and sometimes I come back
in and it's better if I'm sitting still.
But writing notes to yourself. Now that can be
(27:53):
something like staying, you know, like don't forget to do this.
You're supposed to do that today, like your to do list or what
you can't forget. But it can also be a note of kindness,
that kind of support, or even a strategy that you just learned
for adhd and you write that down or some
little quote that you read, you can print it out or write
it up, write it up, write it down, put it on
(28:15):
your mirror, put it on your fridge and have it visible.
And just alone time, that could be your, your scheduling.
Alone time might work out better somewhere that's
not in your home where you don't get distracted.
But you can decide that. So, yeah, so many things
that you can do. I even listened to a podcast while I
(28:36):
was exercising at the gym. That was a new one about a month
ago and I really enjoyed it. I didn't really watch.
I had it on my phone. I didn't really have to see the people.
It was a YouTube thing. It wasn't. You know how some podcasts
aren't audio audio, they're only YouTube podcasts.
So this was one of those. It was just about Survivor.
It wasn't important, but it kept me going with
(28:57):
my workout.
So. And it helped me reach my goals.
And working out is an ADHD strategy because it can boost
the dopamine, serotonin and all those things that we need.
But what else, what else, what else?
Calming things I'm gonna do that probably in the
next podcast is give you a calming, not
(29:21):
just a practice, but just some ideas for calming your brain,
for allowing yourself to get that support that you need because
you can't constantly be going the slow down ideas.
There are a lot of them and it's not just a checklist, it's just
actually things methods that I use to just breathe more
(29:42):
slowly. Not just kind of your simple things.
There's so many that you can do and you could just listen to
that episode laying down or something.
I like just laying on the floor because a harder floor is actually
easier for your body to relax than something soft that can constantly
be, you know, you're not quite comfortable.
You can do it however you want, but just don't listen to it
(30:03):
while you're driving. So. So you can see how it
works in your body to really slow down like that.
And then
the other things are just things that you can do on your computer,
your screen, your phone, your iPad, whatever you use, whether
it's a group, like a check in group, or just having reminders
(30:25):
set, you know, all those things you can spend a little time,
you can support yourself by setting up those systems.
You know, what's my calendar method going to be?
Do you have a good calendar reminder method that comes to your
phone? Is it disruptive? Do I need to change it out?
And setting alarms, all those Kinds of things.
I find that sometimes the default methods like in
(30:48):
Google Calendar or Apple Calendar, I use both.
I don't know why. I think because some people send it different
ways, but what they do is kind of depending on the
app and it could depend on if you send something to your calendar
that somebody else invites you to, you sign up for something
and it says, do you want to add this to your calendar?
And you say, sure, but you don't really change any settings or
it might be a default setting in your calendar app.
(31:10):
And what I was finding is sometimes I get an email
reminder and I think, I don't want this email reminder.
It's like it really doesn't help because I'm not looking at my
email that often or it comes up in a banner on
my phone or it shows up like a half hour before
or an hour before and it's not very helpful.
So whenever you notice some system not working like that,
(31:33):
like you're getting reminders that are disrupting your life instead
of helping your life or I really need this to be on
my Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, whatever it is, it
might be a calendar app, but I don't need to be notified at
that time. Then take time that can support your day, your
week, the rest of your life, as long as you
(31:54):
want to use that system. But you set it up, you
go through everything on your calendar and it will let you do
it for this occurrence or every occurrence.
If it's a once week thing, I don't need to be notified or I
want to be notified five minutes before, not 30 minutes before.
Or maybe you do want to be notified, notified 30 minutes before
so you know it's time to leave. Whatever that is.
(32:16):
If it helps you, then keep doing it.
But if it's not supporting you, then it's not supporting you.
It's not not your help, helper, helper.
So yeah,
yeah, it's taking time to do those little things.
Sometimes the support is taking time to do something
(32:37):
that supports you. Like a person taking time to go
on a walk, exercise, go to the gym, go
to an appointment, whatever it is, those kind of things.
Listen to this journal. Even in the evening journaling,
whether it's making an audio note for yourself, you
might not have even ever even listened to it again, but it helps
(33:00):
you say it out loud. Or one of my friends actually keeps
a video journal on Marco Polo for herself.
You could do that. Or just write things down.
If you love to write things down. One of my friends just told
me that she does something that her mom did is
every day you write down something on a card.
It's like a card system. It's in a file.
(33:20):
And you write down on a card a thought or what you
did. And her mom would just do it in one sentence.
She does more than one sentence, but that's her journal system.
And at the end of the year, I guess this whole file set up
up is like for June 1st, the next year, you put
in the card for the next June 1st, and you can compare it
to the one before. So that's if. And she has adhd, so
(33:44):
that's pretty cool, huh? I don't know that I.
There's a time in my life that I could have done that kind of
thing. Right now, I don't know how I would, but in high school,
college, my brain was totally wired to do that.
It would be. And that would be cool, too, but.
But, yeah, other times we're just fitting things in to set
(34:05):
up a new system. It's not always easy, but it is that.
Sharpening the saw. We're making the whole system better and
more effective and supporting ourselves by doing that.
That is it for today. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for being here. Just looking at my time.
Oh, I don't know. My time. I stopped partway through because
(34:28):
my mouth started not matching my voice.
And sometimes I have two cameras in here for my yoga.
It wasn't matching perfectly, and I thought, I'm just gonna start
a new one. But thank you for being here today.
And I will be back again. Like I said,
I'll do the calming episode. I shouldn't tell you what
I'm gonna do because, you know, when I tell you the next episode,
then I got locked into it, so we'll see.
(34:50):
That one will come pretty soon. Maybe the next one.
I'm keeping it open. I'm not locking myself in anymore.
I love some structure, but not all of it.
Not. Not as much as I used to, I guess.
And thank you again for being here and supporting my
podcast. Feel free to leave a review if you haven't
before. Share it with somebody, download the episodes.
(35:14):
Maybe you already are. But that helps my podcast grow and helps
make my day. Thank you so much. By
Frozen Dreams are left for tomorrow
(35:58):
rewind I run out of time to sing
melodies and harmonies I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me
(36:19):
Sa.
Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with ADHD.
Renee Allen, the host of this podcast, excited to be here today.
Today's episode is 110. If you've been listening, I'm
excited for this one because I had a plan for 100
through 110 and I feel locked in. So, not
(00:49):
trying to get this over with or anything, but I'm excited to
have more freedom after this in my own mind.
We'll see if that actually happens, but thank you for being
here today. Today I'm going to talk about how to
build or create or sustain all of the
above support systems that help you with your
(01:10):
ADHD that actually fit into your life.
Because some things aren't easy to fit into life and
sometimes we have to make room for it, and sometimes maybe we
don't want to, and that's okay. My psychiatrist, resident last
year, maybe earlier this year, I've had two, three different
(01:31):
residents. I have a fourth one in my next visit, but I
have to go every six months to be able to keep taking my medication.
And I had just come back from a
trip and I was telling him it was maybe a week
and a half later. I was just telling him that it was harder for
me to get back to. To being productive, being organized
(01:54):
to the point that I was before. After the trip, it took me a
long time to do that. And it was just something I was learning
about myself. And the medication didn't really help with that.
And I really just needed to talk out loud.
I mean, it's not like he was my therapist, but when I said that,
he said, well, maybe you should go to a therapist or
(02:14):
a life coach or something. And all I thought is, no.
I mean, I even told him that. Not that I'm against therapy or
life coaching. I'm actually a certified life coach, but I
just thought, I am constantly trying to learn more about
this. I have a lot of people I can talk to.
(02:34):
I have a lot of support systems. I don't feel like that
will add to anything or help me right now.
And maybe it would. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just thought, I don't
have time for that. More than anything, I don't have time for
that. I teach so many yoga classes. I have so many places, places
I need to be and doctor's appointments and things.
I can't fit one more thing in. And when I think about anything
(02:57):
that we want to add into our lives, it might be hard to fit
in. And so if there's something that you've been wanting to do
or Set aside time for. I want to talk to
you about how to maybe get that done today or how, how
to find time for it. And I apologize for my voice being
so groggy sounding. It's just still the end of
(03:19):
having a cold and it's just how it is.
So here I go. But there are different
ways to find support. Some of them are pretty obvious, like the
therapist, the coaching. And that's actually really super helpful
for women with adhd. It may be something you're doing right now,
it may be something you're interested in doing.
(03:40):
I am a certified life coach, but I'm not doing that right
now. I'm not focusing on one on one coaching.
It's not that I haven't done it, but I'm not focusing on that
right now. Just adding that because it's my distraction in
my head that I needed to get out. But that is one option
for support. You could have professional support.
You could have personal support. You could have self support.
(04:02):
That's an option. That's professional support.
You could have support groups. It could be an online
group, it could be a local group. I don't know of any
local ADHD groups live in a huge city.
But I know universities sometimes have things like that
set up through their counseling centers.
(04:24):
They do that for anxiety or depression.
They'll have groups where you can listen to a therapist in
a group. I even do this in person. Someone I know
did that in person in a group therapy.
I guess I want to say session, I want to say group, but I
already said group. A program for depression, for therapy
(04:47):
for depression. And you went every day and met with
the group, met with a therapist, and once a week had time with
that therapist. So there are group therapy options.
And there may be one in your community, might be in person, it
might be through a university. Maybe it's open to
people who don't go to school there.
Maybe. I know community colleges a lot of times offer things
(05:10):
to the community when you're not a full time student.
So those are things you can look on into.
And they're definitely online groups.
I want to actually do that in different ways.
Not just call it a support group, but have different programs.
It's just one of my many goals. We'll see what happens with that
someday. But maybe we'll do that together someday.
(05:32):
But also you could just even have family and friends.
That could be 100% your support system.
It could be a big part of your support system.
Not all of them want to talk to you about these things.
And they don't even have to have ADHD to be someone that
supports you. Sometimes I think of, oh, I'm getting
(05:52):
the support from the people like that.
I relate to that. Oh, do you do this?
Yes, I do that, too. That is a level of support for
me. But also friends or relatives who talk
to me about things that I do that they
don't notice that I think are glaringly obvious or that are
(06:16):
ways about me that a lot of people don't have, and it's
probably due to adhd. So that can be helpful just to
talk to people who don't relate. But even just to
let you vent. My husband listens to me vent.
I don't know if it's venting. He does listen to me talk a lot
about things that I just need to talk about that he's not
(06:37):
necessarily giving any input, too. But I just talk and
talk and talk and talk, and that is a level of support for me.
And even just talking out loud to children, you can do that.
Not that you're going to share your problems with them, but I
find that when I'm around other people, I talk out
loud more, especially children. I didn't realize I did this
(07:00):
until I was pregnant. I talked to my oldest daughter, who's now
a mom, has her own children. She did a podcast episode with me,
but I talked to her throughout the whole pregnancy.
Everywhere we went, you know, I'm in the grocery store, or should
I get Cheerios or should I get Wheaties?
You know, whatever it was, I just talked to her out loud.
Didn't realize it at first, but I did.
And when she was born the first time
(07:24):
I went somewhere without her. I missed her.
I missed talking to her. I just thought, I'm used
to narrating my life, and it is helpful sometimes to narrate
your life. I didn't really notice. I do it with my grandchildren
to my ground till my grandson asked me about it a couple
months ago, and now I notice it more.
(07:44):
And maybe I probably did it with my kids all the time when they
were growing up. But he just said, he calls.
They call me Marma. Marma, why do you talk to yourself all the
time? And I was just saying, you know, like, first I'm going
to do this, you know, something he. They'd asked me to do.
And, you know, I was saying, well, I'm going to put this
little laundry in, and da, da, da, da.
And it wasn't really to explain. It was just to make sense of
(08:04):
my plan in my head and it was a cute moment
because he has adhd, too, and he knows that Marma
takes the same medicine that he does.
And I said, oh, I think I talk out
loud because it's part of my adhd. And I said,
what do you think you do because you have adhd?
(08:27):
I don't know how I worded it. And he started thinking about
it. It was a fun little conversation, but it could even just
be conversations out loud that don't have to do
with adhd. With children, if you narrate life, it
can help be a support, not the support.
Sometimes we think of support as coming to somebody with a problem
(08:49):
and saying, can you help me with this?
Or it'll just help me to talk about it.
It'll just help me to cry about it. And that is an amazing
way to have support. But other ways to have support is just
to do something that supports your ability to function.
So that is one of those seeking accommodations, creating your
(09:14):
own accommodations. You can ask for accommodations if you're
in college, if you're in high school, if you're listening in
high school or with your mom or something younger, you
can ask for those things. I wish I'd known that I
went. This is my first time, I think I've ever thought.
I wish I'd known I had adhd. I don't think they had
(09:36):
ADHD accommodations then, anyway. But it would have
been helpful, now that I think about it.
Not that it matters to anybody else, because it's clearly been
a long time since I've been to college.
I went to college right out of high school, but I got straight
A's in high school and everything. I took the act.
And you're not supposed to say, my kids tell me it's not the
ACT test because the T is for test. But I took the actual.
(10:00):
And I got perfect scores in two of the sections and
not so perfect scores in the other two.
They're all timed. I could not get the comprehension fast enough
on those questions. So the science and math, you know,
zipped through. Understood it. Did it?
The things that I had to read, process and look at
(10:20):
the answers. I had four or five in each section undone
at the end, so I didn't score as well.
And I only took it one time. I was from a very little town,
drove a half hour to take it. I don't know if it was offered
more than one time then, but that lesson taught me to have my
kids take it, like three times. And it really made a
difference. Their scores would boost because you get Used to
(10:41):
the timing. But my youngest daughter, when she was in
high school, she said, it takes me so long to take
tests to study. She would get really good
grades. But she knew that her friends could get their work done
so much faster. Faster. Or complete their tests so much faster.
And I looked into it, and they actually do offer accommodations
(11:05):
for ACT sat if you have a
diagnosis of a learning disability or probably adhd.
I don't remember particularly looking into that because I didn't
think any of us had ADHD back then. But you can have
accommodations to have a much longer time to take
(11:26):
those tests. And I mentioned to her, because you'd have to.
I think. I think the requirements were not only something
from the doctor, but also from the teachers.
It was either one or the other. Maybe if you had a.
I don't know if you're familiar with all the.
I mean, every state's different. So I was going to say in the
U.S. but in California, it's an IEP if you have an individual
(11:48):
education plan. So if you had an IEP and they allowed
you more time to take your test, then maybe you.
You could get that. You know, I don't know.
I started looking into it, but she didn't really want to stand
out at that point, you know, like, no, I don't want Mom.
You can just stay out of it. It'll be okay.
But I didn't completely stay out of it because I did find an
ACT SAT tutoring place and paid for that, drove
(12:09):
her there, took her there, and I don't know, she
knew how to drive. I don't know why I was driving her there.
I think I was being her support system.
I could go shopping or something in between.
But it really did help just having that accommodation of
the tutoring. So tutoring can be an accommodation or actually
talking to a school or talking to a workplace.
(12:31):
They often will make accommodations.
Sometimes they're legally required to make accommodations.
Or you become your biggest advocate and you ask for
accommodations. I mentioned on a previous episode that I
was at a doctor's office. And, well, there.
Actually, there are a lot of times I don't know if.
(12:52):
If your brain goes a little crazy with audible information coming
in, and your brain's already maxed out from other
things. So you could be, you know, like at the.
The counter ordering burritos or something, and the person's
talking to you and you're thinking, I'm trying to make a decision
here. So you might say, just a second.
You know, that's an accommodation. Just a Second, I'm trying
(13:14):
to figure this out, you know, and you're asking for help, but
also pharmacists, doctor's office, they ask you so
many questions that you're just supposed to remember last word.
So your Social Security number or your driver's license number
or whatever they're asking. And these are things that I
know in my head without having to look them
(13:36):
up. But if I'm already trying to fill
something else out, listen to them, just maxed out because I
got lost getting there or whatever it is, then I say things
like, I can't answer that right now.
If you wait a minute after I finish this, then I'll answer it.
And you can make your own accommodation in.
(13:58):
In real life if you have to. Yet you can ask for people
to help you out. Help me out here. So.
And connecting with other women with adhd.
So that can be like the group therapy, but it can just
be a group. It could be a group online, it could be a
Facebook group, it could be
(14:20):
Reddit, it could be wherever and. Or social media.
That's kind of a trap in a way. But there are Instagram
accounts, TikTok. I'm not really a TikToker person.
YouTube. I have my podcast on YouTube.
But, you know, maybe someday I'll do more of this stuff.
But it's a lot. It's a lot. I can't do it all at once.
(14:40):
I have ideas for that, but you can't go chasing every
little idea. We won't get anything done.
So right now my priority is making this podcast.
The other things will come, but you can learn things from
social media or YouTube. For ADHD to get support,
you just have to be careful because it's not always accurate,
(15:04):
especially the social media things. If it's just people telling
their experience, sometimes it's accurate.
I believe that things can be accurate without a doctor having
an understanding of it. I'm not against doctors at all.
I really respect doctors and learn from doctors.
I mean, I'm saying I'm not against doctors.
That's kind of a funny statement. But I think some people don't
think, you know, like, oh, doctors don't know as much as they
(15:24):
think they do. I think they know a ton.
They know way more than I do. But I also think sometimes
when we have an experience,
we. We find connections and we just go, oh, my
goodness, I thought I was the only person who did that.
And if you went to your doctor and said, is this an ADHD
thing? They'd probably tell you no. And One of them is the.
(15:46):
The shoulder joint thing and the knee.
The hip joint thing. Have you heard of this before?
If you like to sit around with your arm up high or
lay down with your arm in the air, if you've done that ever
since you can remember. I've done it since I was a teenager.
If you sit down and you like to have your.
Your knee or your foot or both. Well, I don't
(16:10):
know if you can have. Yeah, I guess higher than your hips.
And without even knowing it, you know, you're sitting at the
table and your foot's on a chair. You're sitting at a table and
your calf is on the table. I did this in high school without.
Without even really much thought. In the car, always having your
feet up, it releases something. I'm convinced.
And
(16:32):
at least for me, it just. I can't. I have a harder
time sitting still without doing that.
And when I first saw some YouTube video of somebody or
Facebook group somebody saying, here I am sitting here waiting
for my daughter at soccer practice, and she's got her foot on
the front seat of the car, you know, sitting there with her steering
wheel and her foot there and her knee up.
(16:52):
And she said she'd seen a TikTok of someone saying, this is an
ADHD thing. And everyone was just chiming in.
Like, my goodness, I've been doing that my whole life.
I didn't know anybody else did that.
I'm convinced. I don't think it's just a hypermobility thing,
because just because you're hypermobile, you know, this is my
yoga teacher thing coming in. Just because you have ultra flexibility,
it doesn't need that. It doesn't mean that you need to be
(17:14):
that way to feel calm and relaxed. Like, I'm hypermobile in my
knee joint, where if I do a triangle pose or something,
I will lock it and it will look kind of concave.
Is that a word? You know, kind of swooped.
And for better knee health, it's better to not
lock it like that and to have a slight bend.
(17:35):
We call it a micro bend in yoga. And the way to do that, if
you don't know this, if you're in a yoga class, there is a way
to support it with a block block. But it.
Depending on how tall you are, it doesn't always work.
But the best way to do it is just to push into the ball
of your foot, and it. It just brings that knee up.
But never, ever in my life does it feel better
to just like, oh, I need to hyperextend my knee, you know,
(17:58):
that's. That's not, that's not what relaxes me.
In fact, it kind of overstretches my glutes and hamstrings and.
Yeah, so I have to kind of watch against that.
Maybe for somebody else it feels good.
But I'm just saying, just because you can bend in a
certain way doesn't mean it's more relaxing to do that.
(18:19):
But why would. Why would it be more relaxing to be like, I'm
raising my hand all the time, Besides being a child that always
wanted to raise my hand because, you know, I always wanted to
participate. But your doctor, your doctor, if
you go to a psychiatrist, if where you live, you need to
see a doctor, a medical doctor, maybe it's not a scientist psychiatrist,
(18:40):
but if you need to see a doctor to talk about medication,
to ask questions, that's where I learned OCPD is often
related to adhd. OCD can be linked, but
it's more common for the other. That's where I kind of blew my
mind. Like ocpd. Never heard of that.
And I was able to learn and support myself in it because
(19:02):
I can relate to so many things there.
But, yeah, your doctor. And just a little
side note, it's different in different states.
The laws for medication and who you need to see and everything.
But you may need to see a specialist, like
a psychiatrist to get your medication for your diagnosis
(19:25):
or to get diagnosed. You may not need to continue to see
a specialist just to get the refills and just check with
your doctor, check with your primary doctor and see.
It might be different in different states, but when I didn't
have insurance that paid very well for the psychiatrist,
it was just way too expensive. It was almost $300 each time I
went, it was every six months. And I thought, I can't keep doing
(19:47):
this even on a payment plan. So I asked my doctor, my family
doctor, or whatever you call your regular doctor, and I
asked her if she could. Could do the refills or
if I could have visits with her instead every six months, which
cost me more like $10. And she said yes, as long as
there isn't a change in the medication.
(20:08):
So that's what I did for a while until my insurance changed,
and now it's the same cost to go to the psychiatrist.
So I just go to the psychiatrist in case I want to make
a change, but I haven't in a while. So that's just
a little aside there for your support with doctors, you
know, which. Which doctor if you need to see the specialist or
not. Another thing is just asking anyone for
(20:32):
help and not just accommodations, but support to do
things that you can't do. You know, that could be whether it's
somebody just in your daily life or someone that you're actually
paying to help you and then also just helping.
I don't know. There's a kind of a fine line with this, but helping
(20:53):
others understand addhd, ADHD better.
Not everyone. Not everyone is supportive in that
way. I don't know if you've heard the response of
everyone has their thing. We're all a little bit adhd
things that show that they don't really understand it.
(21:15):
And I just look at that like I didn't used to
understand it either. And if that's not something they're interested
in learning about or they haven't learned enough that,
you know, I don't need to be the person to teach them, I guess,
is how I feel. I don't want to argue with anybody about it,
but. Not meaning you, but them. But you can
(21:38):
help others see, you can educate people who are willing to learn
about it and help them know how they can support you better.
Even just. Even without telling them this is an ADHD thing.
You may have done this with, without even realizing it before
you had a diagnosis or before you realized you had
adhd. But just saying to somebody, don't talk to
(22:00):
me while I'm doing this. I'm trying to focus on that is a way
to say you can support me right now by not talking.
And that can be helpful. Which might be funny to say, if
we're a talkative person, we might be more of the talker, but
that can happen sometimes where you're trying to figure something
out and then someone is saying something to try to help
(22:21):
you do it. And you just let them know,
just give me a minute to think about it, and then I can have
that input. So just helping people without even saying this
is an ADHD thing. But you can say, because my brain
does this, because I have a hard time with this, can
you do that? And then the last one is being
(22:44):
your own biggest supporter, your own, you can call
it a cheerleader
looking for new ways to do things, a better system,
a better method. That can be a way of support.
But you could also just give yourself a break.
That could be a support. If you ever help someone else
(23:07):
out. You know, you look at baseball, I've been watching a lot
of baseball lately, and there's a relief pitcher that comes in
when the pitcher isn't doing so well anymore, and that's to benefit
the team for sure. But there might be times that other people
relieve you when you have just, I can't keep doing
this. And you can do that for yourself.
You can give yourself permission to not have to be
(23:30):
all that, to not have to make as much
use of your time as you hoped you would.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
And not beat yourself up about it. It's not
feeling the guilt, not constantly feeling like you have
to be at some level, reach some level.
(23:51):
And when that level isn't attained for some reason, obviously
we don't want to never be able to do what we want
to do. But if you have those days, just tell yourself
this is one of those days and I guess I need the break.
And let yourself have that break. So whether you're a support
by being a cheerleader and saying you're doing great or just
saying, just, you know, you're fine, you're just supporting
(24:16):
yourself in any way that works. So how do we fit
this into our lives? Well, being your own support, you don't
have to fit that in. That's not hard at all.
But there are some things that if you just want to learn more
about ADHD and you want to fit it into your daily routine,
there are ways to do that with While you're getting ready,
while you're taking a shower, I listen to podcasts or scriptures
(24:40):
or radio or I don't really listen to the radio
anymore, do I ever. I don't think so, but that's
when I used to do my audio. Time was in the shower.
I don't take showers anymore. So that routine is.
Or at least not as consistently. I take them after hot yoga instead
of before. You know, different things.
But watching something on a laptop while you're putting
(25:02):
on the makeup. I do that a lot. I sign up for so many courses
or webinars, I don't even know if they call them webinars
anymore. I mean, different memberships to learn about things
like running my business. If they can
call this a business, I'm calling it a business.
Even though I'm not really making money with it.
And learning that there's a lot to learn.
(25:24):
So being able to do that, just playing that video, being in
that session while I'm doing my makeup or doing
my hair, coloring my hair. I'm not coloring my own hair
anymore, but all those things, fitting it in to your day, having
a place for your laptop and in your bathroom or your phone, if
you need to do that. And all the things that
(25:47):
you could do while you're traveling in your car on a walk.
Audio and video check ins. Do you do any of that?
Do you use Marco Polo to check in with a friend?
It could be somebody that you're using for accountability on
your workouts. I did my workout this morning and you're just
doing a video check in. WhatsApp does videos too.
They don't let you do them as long on WhatsApp.
(26:08):
But audio on your cell phone if you don't use
audio, if you just text, audio can be tricky because
if you push the wrong button, you can send an audio when you
didn't want to. But if you get better at it, I've gotten better
at it. You can send an audio to somebody and it's
so much easier to fit in. And it's so much more complete
than sending a text.
(26:30):
Yeah. If you are okay with that, it's pretty fabulous.
And even just reflecting on something while you're driving, giving
yourself some time without any sound to just think about things.
You can make little audio recordings if you have an idea or
something. Maybe not while you're driving, but while you're walking
or something. But. And then while you're trying to
(26:52):
get work done. The body doubling, which is basically you're
both working at the same time while it's.
Whether it's in the same space. You both meet at
a coffee shop and get on your laptops.
Body doubling can be doing a workout if that's your goal, is
you work out together, meet at the gym, go to a class, all that
(27:12):
kind of stuff. But even just doing a zoom session and you
work on something you talk about a little bit, they work on something.
You do it together, whether it's a big group or just a friend,
but even setting a timer or some kind of an
app that
helps you stay on task. I've set a Timer before,
(27:33):
like 30 minutes. It works better for me if I do that
on my computer. You literally Google 30 minute timer.
And it starts. If I set it in my kitchen, that means
I'm walking around. I usually forget and sometimes I come back
in and it's better if I'm sitting still.
But writing notes to yourself. Now that can be
(27:53):
something like staying, you know, like don't forget to do this.
You're supposed to do that today, like your to do list or what
you can't forget. But it can also be a note of kindness,
that kind of support, or even a strategy that you just learned
for adhd and you write that down or some
little quote that you read, you can print it out or write
it up, write it up, write it down, put it on
(28:15):
your mirror, put it on your fridge and have it visible.
And just alone time, that could be your, your scheduling.
Alone time might work out better somewhere that's
not in your home where you don't get distracted.
But you can decide that. So, yeah, so many things
that you can do. I even listened to a podcast while I
(28:36):
was exercising at the gym. That was a new one about a month
ago and I really enjoyed it. I didn't really watch.
I had it on my phone. I didn't really have to see the people.
It was a YouTube thing. It wasn't. You know how some podcasts
aren't audio audio, they're only YouTube podcasts.
So this was one of those. It was just about Survivor.
It wasn't important, but it kept me going with
(28:57):
my workout.
So. And it helped me reach my goals.
And working out is an ADHD strategy because it can boost
the dopamine, serotonin and all those things that we need.
But what else, what else, what else?
Calming things I'm gonna do that probably in the
next podcast is give you a calming, not
(29:21):
just a practice, but just some ideas for calming your brain,
for allowing yourself to get that support that you need because
you can't constantly be going the slow down ideas.
There are a lot of them and it's not just a checklist, it's just
actually things methods that I use to just breathe more
(29:42):
slowly. Not just kind of your simple things.
There's so many that you can do and you could just listen to
that episode laying down or something.
I like just laying on the floor because a harder floor is actually
easier for your body to relax than something soft that can constantly
be, you know, you're not quite comfortable.
You can do it however you want, but just don't listen to it
(30:03):
while you're driving. So. So you can see how it
works in your body to really slow down like that.
And then
the other things are just things that you can do on your computer,
your screen, your phone, your iPad, whatever you use, whether
it's a group, like a check in group, or just having reminders
(30:25):
set, you know, all those things you can spend a little time,
you can support yourself by setting up those systems.
You know, what's my calendar method going to be?
Do you have a good calendar reminder method that comes to your
phone? Is it disruptive? Do I need to change it out?
And setting alarms, all those Kinds of things.
I find that sometimes the default methods like in
(30:48):
Google Calendar or Apple Calendar, I use both.
I don't know why. I think because some people send it different
ways, but what they do is kind of depending on the
app and it could depend on if you send something to your calendar
that somebody else invites you to, you sign up for something
and it says, do you want to add this to your calendar?
And you say, sure, but you don't really change any settings or
it might be a default setting in your calendar app.
(31:10):
And what I was finding is sometimes I get an email
reminder and I think, I don't want this email reminder.
It's like it really doesn't help because I'm not looking at my
email that often or it comes up in a banner on
my phone or it shows up like a half hour before
or an hour before and it's not very helpful.
So whenever you notice some system not working like that,
(31:33):
like you're getting reminders that are disrupting your life instead
of helping your life or I really need this to be on
my Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, whatever it is, it
might be a calendar app, but I don't need to be notified at
that time. Then take time that can support your day, your
week, the rest of your life, as long as you
(31:54):
want to use that system. But you set it up, you
go through everything on your calendar and it will let you do
it for this occurrence or every occurrence.
If it's a once week thing, I don't need to be notified or I
want to be notified five minutes before, not 30 minutes before.
Or maybe you do want to be notified, notified 30 minutes before
so you know it's time to leave. Whatever that is.
(32:16):
If it helps you, then keep doing it.
But if it's not supporting you, then it's not supporting you.
It's not not your help, helper, helper.
So yeah,
yeah, it's taking time to do those little things.
Sometimes the support is taking time to do something
(32:37):
that supports you. Like a person taking time to go
on a walk, exercise, go to the gym, go
to an appointment, whatever it is, those kind of things.
Listen to this journal. Even in the evening journaling,
whether it's making an audio note for yourself, you
might not have even ever even listened to it again, but it helps
(33:00):
you say it out loud. Or one of my friends actually keeps
a video journal on Marco Polo for herself.
You could do that. Or just write things down.
If you love to write things down. One of my friends just told
me that she does something that her mom did is
every day you write down something on a card.
It's like a card system. It's in a file.
(33:20):
And you write down on a card a thought or what you
did. And her mom would just do it in one sentence.
She does more than one sentence, but that's her journal system.
And at the end of the year, I guess this whole file set up
up is like for June 1st, the next year, you put
in the card for the next June 1st, and you can compare it
to the one before. So that's if. And she has adhd, so
(33:44):
that's pretty cool, huh? I don't know that I.
There's a time in my life that I could have done that kind of
thing. Right now, I don't know how I would, but in high school,
college, my brain was totally wired to do that.
It would be. And that would be cool, too, but.
But, yeah, other times we're just fitting things in to set
(34:05):
up a new system. It's not always easy, but it is that.
Sharpening the saw. We're making the whole system better and
more effective and supporting ourselves by doing that.
That is it for today. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for being here. Just looking at my time.
Oh, I don't know. My time. I stopped partway through because
(34:28):
my mouth started not matching my voice.
And sometimes I have two cameras in here for my yoga.
It wasn't matching perfectly, and I thought, I'm just gonna start
a new one. But thank you for being here today.
And I will be back again. Like I said,
I'll do the calming episode. I shouldn't tell you what
I'm gonna do because, you know, when I tell you the next episode,
then I got locked into it, so we'll see.
(34:50):
That one will come pretty soon. Maybe the next one.
I'm keeping it open. I'm not locking myself in anymore.
I love some structure, but not all of it.
Not. Not as much as I used to, I guess.
And thank you again for being here and supporting my
podcast. Feel free to leave a review if you haven't
before. Share it with somebody, download the episodes.
(35:14):
Maybe you already are. But that helps my podcast grow and helps
make my day. Thank you so much. By
Frozen Dreams are left for tomorrow
(35:58):
rewind I run out of time to sing
melodies and harmonies I'm cut short
the silence of sound has yet been found but
not by me
(36:19):
Sa.
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