May 23, 2025 • 45 mins
Episode Overview
In this episode of One Big Fire, John Kitchens and Al Stasek sit down with former NHL pro and elite mindset coach Jacob Newton. Jacob takes us on a journey from his humble beginnings in a small California desert town to the professional hockey stage, and ultimately into the world of mindset coaching. He unpacks how a lack of mental preparation kept him from sustaining his NHL career, and how the realization that "million-dollar legs need a million-dollar mindset" transformed not just his life, but the lives of the high performers he now coaches.
This is a powerful conversation about performance anxiety, negative self-talk, resilience, and the habits that separate amateurs from true pros. Whether you're a real estate entrepreneur, a business leader, or someone looking to upgrade your daily performance, this conversation delivers mindset shifts you can use immediately.
Key Topics Covered
From Roller Rinks to the NHL
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Jacob's unconventional journey from roller hockey in the desert to pro ice hockey.
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The sacrifices his family made to help him chase his dream.
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What it felt like to play in a packed NHL preseason game — and what happened next.
The Wake-Up Call
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Why being sent to the second Italian league was the mirror moment.
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The book that changed everything ("Mind Gym").
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Realizing he was the problem—and also the solution.
Million Dollar Legs, No Mindset
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The mental patterns that held him back.
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Why talent without mental stamina isn't enough.
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How he began to build mental muscle through breath work, daily routines, and gratitude.
Coaching High Performers
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The biggest blocker: negative self-talk.
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Why 90% of our thoughts are the same every day—and 70% of them are negative.
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Tools to shift into presence, mental control, and clarity.
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The breathwork protocol that regulates anxiety and resets emotional control.
Forgiveness and Inner Peace
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Why forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you.
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Healing childhood wounds that silently control adult performance.
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The power of releasing resentment to unlock your next level.
Practical Routines for Peak Performance
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Why your first 20-30 minutes set the tone for your entire day.
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How to use gratitude, breathwork, and visualization to create powerful inner shifts.
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The "wind" that moves the storm: How breathing re-centers you in chaos.
Resources Mentioned
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Mind Gym (book recommendation)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Seven figure success starts whenyou start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the JohnKitchens Coach Podcast.
Experience is your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger andtransform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
Everybody, man.
Thank you guys.
Jumping into another episodeof One Big Fire and, uh, I'm
(00:24):
really gonna be selfishlyexcited for today's conversation.
I love any, any opportunity to get with.
Any individual, especially on the,on the sports side of things, right?
Anybody that reaches kind ofthat upper echelon to kind of
hit that pro status, right?
Like the work ethic, the discipline, themindset, the luck that has to kind of
(00:45):
go in to be able to get to that level.
I just love, you know, picking thebrains and, and kind of hearing
their, their process, their, theirjourney to get to that point.
But, uh, before we jump in and, and,um, chop it up with Jake a little bit.
Mr. Stasi.
What's happening brother?
Hey, what's up Mr. Kitchens?
Yes, yes.
Uh, super excited to welcome Jakeonto the podcast before we get started
(01:07):
and dig in and get to learn aboutthis amazing human being and, uh, all
the good he's doing in the world nowand his his journey through the NHL.
Wanna remind everybody, goto honey badger nation.com.
Uh, we are gonna be addingsome killer, killer new merch.
We've had the same old merch.
I gotta take a hundred zeroresponsibility for that.
(01:28):
We haven't upgraded it.
We are upgrading it now.
So in 2025, we're gonna have awhole new line of, uh, awesome
Honey Badger Nation merch.
Uh, I know Jake Jake's, uh, a bitfamiliar with that because it's on the
jerseys of our hockey jerseys, uh, thatwe play with Banker's Cup, and we'll
talk a little bit about that as well.
But, um, make sure you checkit out honey pagination.com.
(01:50):
Also our, our coaching that we do weekly.
Um, and you can also find outopportunities on how to partner
with us@honeypagination.com.
Without any further ado, Jacob.
My buddy Jake Newton.
What's up my friend?
Hey brother.
It's so good to be here, my man.
So good.
Uh, feeling good.
The sun's shining herein Cleveland, as we know.
(02:11):
It's, uh, very rare in the winter time.
So, uh, I'm looking forward to,to this episode and then once
this is done, getting out for myworkout out in the metro parks.
But, uh, things are good.
Life is good, and uh, God is good.
So here we are.
I love it, man.
So, you know, I met Jakethrough a good friend of mine.
Chris went, uh, and we do a, uh,hockey tournament, or not a tournament.
(02:31):
It's really a game.
And it's just a charity, um,event that Chris started, I don't
know, four or five years ago now.
Yeah.
Uh, and, you know, started out asactually a golf tournament and we've
added hockey to the mix because we'recrazy and we love, we love, uh, hitting
that black puck around and it's justturned into such a fun event that we
raise money for good, good causes.
And, you know, our industry gets together.
(02:53):
Um, it's, it's gonna be this comingmarch, and I'll put the information,
um, I'll, I'll let you know at theend, but that's how I met Jake.
And if I were to describe Jake,I would describe Jake this way.
I would say if you took the Buddha.
Combined it with like a Wayne Gretzky.
All right.
Now we, we have the, the, a Buddhaversion of a hockey player, which
(03:15):
doesn't, you wouldn't even think thatthose two made sense, but it does because
we have the real living, Jacob Newtonhere, who's really dedicated, um, the
last half of his career or his current,uh, you know, part of where, where he
is at right now in his journey, in hiscareer into helping, uh, elite athletes.
(03:36):
Get through the mindset part ofall the stresses, everything that
gets in the way, all the thingsthat that trigger us, throw us off.
All the things that we're trying to masteron our, our normal, like daily lives.
And of course, you know, being theCEO of your business and running
your own business as an entrepreneur,those things are constantly like,
you know, getting into our brain andthrowing us off of our path of focus.
(04:00):
And, uh, I've had manyone-on-one sessions with Jake.
He's an amazing human being.
Um, anything to add, John?
Uh, before we bring, uh, Jake up hereand chat a little bit about his journey.
Yeah, no, I mean, you know, any, like Isaid, you know, anybody at that upper,
upper level of anything in life, right?
It what I've always found,um, it's, it's that.
(04:23):
It's that mindset capability, right?
To be able to, to where you can, you know,it all starts just the visualization,
being able to start there, but also how tohandle and work through adversity and how
to, how to push through, how to maintainthe discipline, how to do those things.
It's all mindset at a, at a,it gets to a certain point.
And so, um, just, just kind of,like I said, selfishly excited
(04:44):
to jump in here today with Jake.
So Jake.
If you don't mind, you know,a lot of people listening to
our podcast never met you.
Don't know you.
Some do.
Of course, anyone that's that followedthe NHL or even recently, uh, your, you,
you were, uh, um, your, your team actuallyI think won the national championship
for the, is it three on three?
Yeah.
Three on, yeah, three on three Leaguecalled Three Ice and, uh, three Ice.
(05:07):
So much fun to watch.
By the way, if you had any chance towatch it, you can find it on your local
tv, but tell us about your journey,you know, where, where you started,
um, and where literally hockey tookyou, um, on that journey to today.
I. Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, I am, I am not fromhere in Cleveland originally.
I'm, I'm from a small little deserttown about 20, 25 minutes outside
(05:27):
of Palm Springs, California, andnobody knows my hometown, so I always
just say Palm Springs or Riverside.
Uh, the town I grew up in wasrated the fourth worst in the
whole state of California.
And so, you know how dang big Californiais and how many cities there are,
and I come from the fourth worst.
So I'm grateful for hockey becausehockey was my ticket out of that town.
There was, you know, so much time.
(05:48):
Gangs, uh, you know, there, there'sreally just no good out there.
And so again, hockey was my ticket, butI went on more unconventional routes, uh,
being that I started out in roller hockey.
Being from a small little desert town,we didn't have any ice hockey in my town.
And I'm just, uh, I'm just so,so grateful for the fact that
we had a roller hockey rink.
So, you know, I started outjust playing in the house.
(06:08):
I'll never forget getting my first pairof roller blades that had the rubber
stop stopper on the back and I was justmaking these black marks all through the
house on, on the carpet and everything.
And then we eventually.
Took it out of the house, intothe back, uh, back of the house,
the, the street behind our house.
Just, you know, gathering all the localkids around to play as much as we can.
And, you know, we started gettingsome attention around the town and
(06:29):
we got a, uh, like an article inthe local newspaper that my parents
still have hung up in their house.
So it was just, you know, goodmemories when I reflect back on that.
But as I said, a, a moreunconventional routes, you know,
starting out in roller hockey.
And at that time, ice hockeywasn't too popular in, in
California, you know, Gretzky gottraded to the Kings back in 88.
So that certainly helped, youknow, gain in its popularity.
(06:52):
And then with the Southern Californiateams finding more, more success with
the kings, the, the Stanley Cups as theyhave the, the, the Anaheim Ducks back
in 2007 really helped to amplify the,the game of ice hockey in California.
But it wasn't until the age 11 when I,when I made the transition over to ice
hockey, and that was an hour and 15.
Commute there, and thenobviously the same time back.
(07:12):
So there was a lot of dedication,obviously, but a lot of discipline and
sacrifice that that took place from,you know, not only my parents, but
both my brothers and both my sisters.
And um, you know, it wound up playing inLos Angeles, which was a hundred miles
away, but in California traffic thattook us three, three and a half hours.
So.
It was, get home from school, do yourhomework in the car, eat in the car,
(07:33):
sleep in the car, get home by one in themorning, wake up and do it all over again.
So again, a lot of, a lot of sacrificehad to take place in order for
me to be able to play this game.
Um, I. I don't come from money.
Two brothers, two sisters.
We adopted three cousins and atone point we were all playing
hockey on separate teams.
And I don't know how in the heck myparents figured that out, but we, we
(07:54):
learned how to pack, you know, fivehumans and five hockey bags into a, a two
car door, or excuse me, a two door car.
And, uh, so, so yeah, again, somuch sacrifice, but you know, that
was then, that was in news hockey.
Um, I moved away from home when Iwas 15 years old to to play junior
hockey, the, the step below college.
Um, and that was at a time when I wasexperiencing more struggles and more
(08:18):
suffering within my personal life thatI just really wasn't aware of back then.
Um, but it had a way of bleedinginto my on ice performance.
But I was, you know, fortunate that I hadsome God-given ability, uh, skills wise.
Skill-wise, excuse me, within thegame, obviously I had to be very
intentional with working on that, butum, moving away from home was obviously
a challenge at, at such a young agewhen I needed family, I needed love the
(08:40):
most, and now I'm 2000 miles away and.
At that time we didn't have FaceTime,so it was just simply phone calls.
But, uh, that was myjunior year in high school.
I went home for my senior year,and then I started getting interest
from higher level junior hockey,which is again, just the step below.
College eventually movedaway to, uh, Frisco, Texas.
I. Played there for a year, played fortwo years in Lincoln, Nebraska, and then
(09:02):
eventually, uh, went and committed to playcollege hockey at Northeastern University.
It was not my grades thatgot me into that school.
It was purely my hockey.
So thankfully, my, my hockey skills wereat a level that I could score an 18 on the
a CT and still get into a, a very well.
You know, respected academicschool in Northeastern and, and,
uh, you know, again, had anothervery successful freshman season.
(09:25):
I was on the Hockey East, which is the,the division I played in the Hockey East.
All rookie team started gaininginterest from NHL teams.
Got an offer from the WashingtonCapitals, and I was gonna take it because
I didn't wanna be at school anymore.
It was very hard to balancethe student athlete life.
Um, and so that offer came, my agenttried, tried getting me more money.
(09:45):
They said no.
Well.
The Anaheim Ducks, who's,you know, my hometown team.
Had heard, had caught windthat I received an offer.
And so they came in with amaximum rookie offer and I
eventually wound up taking that.
And, um, you know, before we getinto the mindset stuff of where I'm
at now, I was not, I, I was not atthis place then that I'm at now.
It's been many years of working onmyself, self-mastery, self-discovery,
(10:09):
but I was always told thatI've got a million dollar legs.
Meaning it was my skating abilitythat allowed me to play the style
of game that I played and allowed meto get to the levels that I got to.
But what I lacked then was themillion dollar mindset to, to go
along with the physical abilities.
And that is ultimately what, whatheld me back to not having an
actual career in the NHL, whichwas obviously the ultimate dream.
(10:30):
So that's, uh, my journey in a nutshell.
That's amazing.
Um, you know, there's a lotthere, Jake, and, and it all
led you to, you know, what?
What people in baseball, Ithink called the big show.
Right.
But, but on, on, on the ice and ithad to be an amazing experience.
What's, what's, um, what I'd love tounpack is that moment where you had
(10:54):
said it was cut short because you didn'thave the million dollar mindset and, and
you know, right along the same, when Igot my license in, I was 25 years old.
I was in my mid twenties thoughtthat, uh, my, just my pure will could
take me to where I wanted to go.
And man was my mindset justin a, in an awful place.
(11:16):
Uh, a lot of it just becauseI lived in this survival.
Um, my environment was very, you know,survival based, very victim mentality,
uh, type of things that were, I wassurrounding myself with the wrong
people in the wrong environments.
And I take responsibility forthat, but that's just where I was.
And so I had to have somekind of a realization.
(11:37):
It wasn't until for me that Imet somebody, I met this person.
I had actually known him for a few years,but he brought me to a Tony Robbins.
Uh, I'll never forget it.
We flew to Chicago and we wentto a Tony Robbins, um, UPW event.
Where you walk on coals, which I saidI would never do, and I did it anyway.
Um, it changed my life because atthat point it was a, it was a, it
(12:00):
was just a big awareness aha moment.
That there was a, there was some,some things in my brain that needed
to be unlocked that were not unlocked.
That event unlocked, it just kind ofopened up this, this ceiling, and I've
had other moments like that of belief,but I don't wanna talk about mine.
I wanna talk about yours.
What was that moment where it was like,ah, okay, there's a whole different
(12:25):
muscle I need to be working here.
It's not just my quads, you know,for, for my skating ability and,
and, and, you know, maneuverabilityon the ice or my slap shot or
my wrist shot or whatever it is.
It's like I got this muscle up herethat I need to be starting to work here.
I didn't even know that, you know,there, there was another level.
What, what was it for you?
(12:45):
What moment was that?
I. Yeah.
So, you know, after, after I signedmy contract with Anaheim, um, you
know, I signed a three year entrylevel contract with them in, in
year one of, of training camp.
Uh, I played a preseason game.
I scored a goal on my veryfirst shot, got an assist.
I had two points.
I thought I was on top of the world.
I thought I was gonna bemaking opening night roster.
This was in San Jose preseason.
(13:06):
Game, game was sold out.
It was insane.
I started, I was like, I did it.
I made it.
Here I am.
Well, the very next day, I,I participated in warmups.
And that was it.
After warmups got dressed, went upto the press box, and then eventually
got a text from, uh, like theplayer liaison saying, you need to
go see the, the general manager.
So I knew exactly what that meant.
I went and saw him.
They were gonna send me down tothe a HO, which would be again,
(13:29):
the, the Cleveland monsters here.
But, um, it wasn't even then.
Unfortunately, it wasn't eventhen that I realized my mindset
was what was holding me back.
I went from that year, youknow, had a, an okay season.
The next season I wound up gettingtraded to the Colorado Avalanche
who were, at that time they wereaffiliated with the monsters.
At that time it wasthe Lake Erie monsters.
So that's, you know, what brought me hereto Cleveland and still it wasn't there.
(13:53):
I, I, I got here, I was playingwell, and then I got injured.
I was out for a little while.
And then I would play a game,sit seven games, play a game, sit
six, eventually got sent down toa league that no longer exists.
And that still wasn't the breaking point.
The breaking point came in year threeof my career where I had gotten an offer
to go over and play in Europe, and I gotoffered, uh, a contract in the second
(14:16):
Italian league, and I didn't even knowthat there was a first Italian league.
I was not aware about hockey in Europe.
My, my vision, my goal was the NHL, andso that's, I was laser focused on that.
So now I'm in this second Italian leagueand there, yes, it's, it's a passion of
the guys on my team, the local players,but it was more of just a hobby for them.
They had a typical nine to fivejob we would practice at nighttime.
(14:39):
And so, you know, these guys weren'tout there practicing all summer long.
Like, you know, I wasas a, as an actual pro.
These guys were more amateurs.
And I remember aftermany different practices.
Taking a knee once practice was done andjust watching, observing my teammates
and noticing how several of themwere tripping over themselves because
they were just that bad at hockey.
And that's fine.
(14:59):
I don't care about that, you know?
But I realized in that moment, holyheck, I just went from an NHL contract
to the second Italian league, like.
What, what happened, what's gone on here?
And I realized in that momentthat I was the problem, um, within
all of the situations in my life.
But I found that inside of thatproblem was also the solution,
and I'm the solution as well.
(15:20):
So that's the year I started pickingup, you know, mental toughness
books, mental strength books.
That really, again, gotme into understanding that
that was the only thing.
I hadn't been exercising at that time.
You know, and Go ahead.
No, I was gonna say, Jake, whatwas, what was the, I mean, was
it just the in, in the momentwhere it just finally all sunk in?
You're just sitting there and you'reseeing these guys tripping over each
other, but they probably have thebiggest smiles on their faces and they're
(15:43):
just loving every dang second of it.
But, you know, for you, you couldhave still latched on even deeper
to that victim mentality and.
And, and really, you know, carriedthat burden with you through,
throughout the rest of your life and,and, you know, made, made everybody
else around you even more miserable,you know, than even you were.
So was it, was it just 'cause I,what I find even in myself, right?
(16:06):
It's just, you know,lack of awareness, right?
You're just not even, you'renot even solution aware.
You're not problem awareand it's sometimes.
We just have that strongerrelationship with the window
than we do with the mirror.
And was it, was it for you justlike, holy shit, like this is real.
I'm, I'm in the, I'm, I'm in Europe.
I'm this far away from my family.
(16:27):
I'm in a league that I didn't even knowit existed, but these dudes are terrible,
but they're having the time of their life.
Like, was it, was it just that,that fast of an awareness for you?
So, so it was a little bit of that, butthen it was also, you know, with, while
reading these books, what it opened meup to is becoming more aware of myself
and more introspective, you know?
And at that time I wasdoing everything physical.
(16:48):
I was doing everything that NHL playersdo, uh, physically, but through this
book, it got me into understanding that.
It allowed me to, you know, usesome memories of past situations,
whether that be adversity, you know,getting cut, getting traded, getting
screamed at by coaches, you know,and it allowed me to tune into how I
responded to those external situations.
(17:10):
And what I realized within myselfis that I. I became a victim.
No different than Al was talking about.
I became a victim in all of these sitsituations, and I got lost in blaming
others or complaining about, you know,my current circumstances, my current
situation, not realizing the role Iplayed within my own suffering to get
there within, within my own struggle.
And so once I was able to again, take alook at the mirror and, and just point
(17:32):
the finger back at myself, I, again,it just opened me up to understanding
that it's everything is here.
What was the book?
What was the book, Jake?
Uh, so the first bookwas called, uh, mind Jim.
Um, I believe I still Yep.
Right here.
Did, did you, did you find, oh, I love it.
Did you find it?
Did somebody hand it to you?
What was, yeah, it was actually abuddy of mine that I played with.
(17:55):
He's actually still agood brother of mine.
Uh, I played here withthe monsters, with him.
His name's Greg Malden.
He, he played in the NHL.
Um, not as long as he wanted to, ofcourse, but then he wound up over
in Europe, kind of the same yearsas I, and so we were over in Europe
together for, for seven years.
Not together, but still over there,kept in touch and he mentioned this
book to me and so I decided that to,to purchase it and, and dive into it.
(18:17):
Um, and it, and it'sinteresting because I think.
Through all of the differentbooks and everything.
I think we as humans, we, weall have mental strengths.
We've all exemplified and,and shown that in our lives.
But I think the biggest separatoris the mental stamina because we
know that life is gonna continuethrowing things at us, right?
And it's easy at times to just get up,okay, I can handle this, but what happens
(18:38):
when it's the next day and the nextday and next week and the next month,
and it's every single year, you know?
So.
The more you lean into those situations,I've found is what allows us to have
that mental stamina so that again,we can better manage ourselves in
the face of the, the chaos that weknow is coming, whether that's daily,
weekly, monthly, or, or, or yearly.
So, yeah.
(18:59):
So Jake, um, you know, it, it'sfor, I I I love using the, the,
the amateur versus pro analogy.
Actually our, our friend coachMichael Bur, um, you know, kind
of put it into a cool, cool, um.
Way of saying it, if you will, where, youknow, for real estate agents, many real
estate agents wanna leave their amateurdesires behind and going pro, but those
(19:23):
are just kind of fancy words and they'refun to say from, from a, a pro athlete
standpoint, a lot of things are similar.
Um, to be able to operate as a realestate professional at a high level,
you have to do things differently than,than you're, you're, you're gonna do.
If you just wanna just take what's givenand, and operate at a mediocre level,
(19:46):
uh, a lot of things are gonna change.
You have to manage your time differently.
You have to surround yourselfwith different people.
Um.
From, from a, from a pro hockey player,though that specifically, and then
we can kind of like use your exampleto, to mirror it to our industry.
What's the number one, what are thebig road roadblocks that you help
(20:08):
professional, you know, athletesget over where, where, what, what
is, what is the roadblock thatthey, they keep running into?
They're obviously talented,they're hardworking.
They, they, they must have at somepoint been introduced to the right
surroundings and right people to get wherethey're at, to get an opportunity to.
Even, you know, try out, let alonelike operate inside of an NHL or any
(20:31):
kind of a professional sports network.
What's the thing that, thatmost, number one, most common
thing that happens to high.
Hi, highly, uh, talented athletesthat sets 'em back, holds 'em back
from getting to the next level thatyou actually can isolate, focus
on and help them work on and fix.
Yeah, I, I would say the biggestone is negative self-talk.
(20:54):
You know, we, we, we all experiencethe thoughts all day long.
You know, we, we, we roughlyexperienced 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day.
And 90% of the thoughts that wewill experience today are the same
exact thoughts that we experiencedyesterday, and unfortunately,
70% of them are negative.
So the more you can step intoawareness and understanding that,
right, you are then essentiallya victim to your own mindset.
(21:15):
Whether you're aware of thethoughts or not your body.
Is always paying attention.
That's the mind body connection, youknow, so, so many players regardless of
age, regardless of, you know, abilitylevels, they just don't understand the
power and ability they have to stopnegative thinking and recreate new
thoughts that are gonna fall in lineat a quicker rate with the player they
are and the player that they wanna be.
(21:36):
Um, so negative self-talkis a massive one, but.
Uh, performance anxiety is another hugeone that, um, again, it doesn't matter.
I, I was working with a a 29-year-oldpro that plays over in Europe, and one
of his biggest roadblocks was he gotway too nervous before games and he
just didn't know how to manage himself.
I. In that, but I was able to guide andhelp him on getting to the root cause
(21:58):
of his performance anxiety throughthe work that I've done on myself.
You know, I, I mentioned these books.
There's so many other books that I'veread, but it's in the, the deeper
work that I've done on myself that hasbeen able to eliminate so many of the
roadblocks, you know, so that's whatI really try and help my athletes wi
with, is again, getting to the rootcause of our whatever the struggle is.
(22:18):
'cause I, in my opinion, eeverything in our adult life is
directly connected to our childhood.
So if we can go back to those places andmaybe reco ourselves, uh, again, if this
performance anxiety is coming from how acoach, you know, used to treat us within
the game at, at our younger ages Yeah.
Then that's a re coaching.
And so there's a process to doing it.
It might take it a few times, butyou're worthy of that and you're
(22:41):
certainly capable of it just in time.
Or at times, excuse me, players justneed, you know, proper guidance on
how to go back and, and heal thatversion of themselves so that they
can be more present and not get out ofcontrol with, uh, with that anxiety.
Yeah.
What are some, what are some, um,immediate exercises that you, you
know, really, you know, try toinstill into, you know, the athletes
(23:04):
around the negative self-talk?
Like where, where do you immediatelytry to try to shift them to, obviously
what they're doing is not servingthem, but what is, Hey, let's, let's,
let's incorporate these exercisesthat I know will, will serve you to,
to really overcome that challenge.
Yeah, sir. Uh, so the, the first tool,and it's, it's a very simple tool.
It's very easy to apply and.
Literally any area of your life, butit's within the first 20 minutes, 20 to
(23:28):
30 minutes after we wake up is when thesubconscious mind is the most aware.
Our brainwaves are on a thetafrequency, so our brainwaves are
very slow, and that's the same exactbrainwaves that we were experiencing
in the first seven, eight years.
We were alive.
We were in that theta frequency,so we were in absorption mode.
So how we were spoken to by our parents,our closest caretakers, brothers, sisters,
(23:50):
friends, classmates, teammates, theirvoices eventually became our inner voice.
So there's a way to re rewire andreprogram that in a perfect time.
To do that is, again, withinthose first 20 to 30 minutes.
So I guide them on just.
Having, uh, you know, a differentroutine to start their day instead
of getting up and getting straighton your phone, which we've all been
there, we know well, now you're feedingthe subconscious mind technology.
(24:14):
Your subconscious mind is gonna want moreof that throughout the rest of the day.
So instead of doing that, Iget them into some positive
self-talk to start their day.
And by starting it or starting yourday with that, what it opens you up to.
Is becoming more aware of yourthinking and your thought patterns
throughout the rest of the day.
So again, we know we're gonnago back unconscious at some
(24:34):
point during the day, and so.
Again, with starting your day withthat, it opens up an opportunity
for you to recognize that.
And then once you've recognized nowa new choice is available to you.
Um, and once the new choice is there,we get then get to step into being the
conscious thinker, the active thinker.
And when we're producing our own thoughts,we're gonna choose to make those positive.
Um, and then if they're positive inthe mind, again, we get to experience a
(24:56):
different feeling in the body as well.
I love that because, you know, it's,it's knowledge and power, right?
So it's just awareness and choice.
Mm-hmm.
And, and that's the power, right?
Is, is in the choice.
And so I, I love that, um, being ableto, you know, go, go right into it.
And for me, that, that morning isjust kind of what led, you know,
(25:17):
to us even on this call was, youknow, Al and I were talking about.
Um, you know, it's just that gratitudepractice first thing in the morning
and that, that's, for me, that'smy exercise is just, Hey, what
am I grateful for in the moment?
That's the very first thing.
Um, I know a lot of people, you know, havethe gratitude at the end of the day, so it
kind of forces them to look for the thingsthat are grateful for throughout the day.
(25:38):
But being able to have some type of, ofgratitude practice and, uh, you know, I
love that, that that positive self-talk.
'cause it's, I mean.
We're so, you know, the things that wesay we hear and then we start to believe
that that plays in the, in the backgroundis, is so, so powerful to, to reprogram.
But having that, uh, thatlevel of awareness is, is key.
(26:00):
What are some like, um, ideal?
Even maybe for you or, or, oryour athletes, kind of that first
60, 90 minutes of every day towhere you see them taking their
lives to a whole nother level.
Yeah, so, you know, it's obviously,it's though that the positive self
talk to start, start, but I'm also a,a big advocate for, for breath work.
Um, and I know that through my ownpractice I've been doing breath
(26:22):
work now for, for seven years.
I got certified and, and as a breathwork instructor three years ago.
Um, so it's a non-negotiable forme to start my day with breath
work to, you know, engage my diet.
From Oxygenate my system,which just creates a different
level of focus and presence.
And I think ultimately that'swhat life needs from us.
And that's the requirement.
You want to get more outta life.
You want to, you know, serve the peoplethat you serve at a higher level.
(26:46):
You want to be present.
And so by starting your day withthe breath work to oxygenate your
system, again, it's more focus, moreclarity, more mental resiliency.
You're better able to manage yourself, youknow, mental control, emotional control.
So I guide a lot of my, my athletes onbreath work to start their day as well.
And what it does, again, it justcreates, and it puts you more
(27:06):
into a responsive state, you know?
So that again, yes, life'sgonna continue to happen.
Just because we're working on ourmindset, it doesn't mean that it's
gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.
You know?
It doesn't mean that the strugglesaren't gonna come, but what it
does is it just sets you up into,again, being better able to manage
yourself when those things happen.
You know?
So, you know, in the sales world, heck,I was in car sales for, for seven months.
(27:29):
I despised it, you know,I wasn't a fan, it was.
So outside of who I am as a person.
Um, but I have clients now thatare non-athletes that are in sales,
and so I put them through a, a weakchallenge of starting their, their day.
No different than whatwe're speaking about here.
And what the results have been is thatthey're able to be far more present
in their sales calls, in their salespitches, and it makes it easier for
(27:52):
them to overcome the objections becausethey're far more present and in control
of themselves, so that now when theobjection comes, they're a lot more clear,
clear in their mind so that you know.
What to say next is a lot easier.
Opposed to, you know,having no morning routines.
These things happen.
We feel like life is taken from us.
Ah, I'm just gonna give up.
I, I don't know how to overcomethis, but again, the more grounded
(28:13):
you are in yourself, I think it justsets you up to have transformation
in every area of your life.
I love it, man.
I got up, um, real quick 'causeI want, you know, I saw where the
conversation was going and, um, oneof the things that I'm implementing
right now is that morning routine.
I'd love to add the breath work toit, but it's just one of those things,
(28:34):
it's another habit that I'm trying to,you know, I'm trying to create a new
healthy habit of doing that one thing.
What I didn't know, what I just learnedfrom what you just shared with me is that.
Where we're in that theta, you calledit the theta mode, where, where
our unconscious is more absorbent.
Kinda like a, it's moreabsorbent like a sponge.
(28:55):
Like we're, we're able to, you know,like internalize and actually like keep
a lot more in in the first, did yousay 20 or 30 minutes of being awake?
Yeah, the first 20 to 30 minutes.
Yeah.
We're on that theta frequency.
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
Now, you know, so I actuallyjust picked up this.
Literally just was delivered today and Ibought three for my three sons as well.
(29:17):
And it's, it's the gratitude journal.
Yeah.
And, and you can get any, anything for it.
But this one's a, it's, it's agratitude journal specifically for men.
It's like 18 bucks or something on Amazon.
So I bought a bunch of them and, um.
You know, this is what I'm doingevery morning to, to start my day off.
And, and one of the reasons that I'm, I'mdoing it is that everybody has bad days.
(29:41):
Even people that are, you know, ingood places, maybe they're in good
places with their relationship andwork and business and financially,
whatever, but we all have that.
We all have some shit around thecorner that we're dealing with.
Right.
And you know, that mood.
That can literally set you back daysif you're, you know what I mean?
If you're not, if you don't havethat awareness and, and the skills
(30:01):
and ability to handle these, thesethings that come up, it can really,
you can end up losing hours and, and,and hours can turn into lost days.
And when you think about that froma business standpoint, it costs you
a lot of money and it costs you alot of emotional stress as well.
And I think it's really, reallyhard to be bummed out and depressed.
(30:21):
When you start with writing down whatyou're grateful for every day, which
is I think how you ended up on thepodcast because you commented on,
you know, the gratitude post that Ihad put up, um, about John's story,
about being grateful for the fleas.
Um, and that's a story if you know,head, head to my Facebook wall, if
you're listening to this and youdon't know what I'm talking about,
(30:43):
I won't go through the whole storyright now 'cause we have in the past.
But what I wrote down atthe beginning of this, Jake.
Is your version of that, at leastat the beginning, was you were
grateful for the roller rink.
Now you didn't have ice hockey.
You could have had the mindset of saying.
Man, why didn't my parents like raise mein a place where they actually had ice
(31:03):
hockey and there wasn't gangs runningaround and there wasn't this and that,
and have that victim mentality of blamegame of where, or why or why didn't they
have the money to do, you know, you werelike, I'm grateful for the roller rink
even though it wasn't the, the ice rink.
And, and that was a big aha.
It took me till I was about, Idon't know, maybe 20, 22 years
old I was holding this resentment.
(31:26):
Holding onto this resentment and itwas almost like I liked holding onto
the resentment 'cause it was part ofmy, who I was, my identity at the time.
And I was just pissed off and angryat everybody, which also reflected
in the music I was listening to andthe people I was hanging out with.
And just all of it.
And, and, and luckily I had a wake up.
(31:47):
And my wake up came from a, a personwho was actually one of my teammates at
one point, but a friend growing up, themost unlikely guy that you would ever.
Think to take advice from, becausehe was kind of an asshole, but
like, I mean, he was my asshole.
He said, you know what?
I think you need to forgive yourparents and forgive, you know,
(32:09):
whoever you're holding onto thisanger from and just let it go.
And I was like, dang, you're right.
Why am you know, they did the bestthey could that, you know, with,
with what they had at the time.
And just that lesson initself, I had to forgive them.
Not that they needed forgiveness, butlike in my mind clearly that I did
(32:32):
before, that I could then mentallymove on and start working on me.
I was just carrying too much shit.
So anyways, um, wanted to bringthat up and, um, really good stuff.
Anything else to wrap up?
Yeah.
Can I, can I dive intothat a little bit as well?
Absolutely.
You know, obviously the gratitude thing,like you said, again, it goes hand in hand
with, with what we were talking about.
If you start your day with gratitude, it'sgonna open you up to, you know, thinking
(32:55):
more about the things that you're gratefulfor throughout the rest of the day.
You know, so it's, again, those first 20minutes are so powerful, but, you know,
in regards to forgiveness like that is.
It's a powerful thing because I've donea lot of, you know, I'll, I'll be, I
don't know if you've, if you've read thearticles on my story, my childhood and
everything, but, you know, experienceda lot of childhood trauma, uh, things
that I've had to work through, youknow, especially now being a parent,
(33:16):
the last thing I wanna do is hand downwhat was handed down to me, you know?
But in, in regards to forgiveness,I think the reason why.
People are resistant to forgivingother people is because they feel like
these other people don't deserve it.
And sure, you might be right, butwe don't forgive them for them.
We forgive them for us, so that wecan, we can drop that weight and then
then step into a healthier versionand a better version of ourselves.
(33:38):
Because again, whoever it is that youknow, we need forgiveness from, or whoever
we need to forgive, they don't know.
They don't know that you'reexperiencing the pain of holding onto
that resentment so much, you know?
So therefore you're the only one thatcan suffer from it, can struggle from it.
So by the, the power of forgiveness,you then drop that weight, which
allows you to be more mentallyclear, more emotionally in control.
(34:00):
And so now it becomes a lot easierto go and make those healthy choices
to fall in line with, you know,the people that we want to become.
Yeah, man.
Hey, Jake, before, before we wrap.
Uh, let me, let me spit this quoteout, but hang on to that, Johnny.
Hang on to that.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever hear the quote?
And I had it hanging above my deskwith, in, with a picture of a Buddha
(34:21):
and it said, um, hanging on angeris like drinking poison and, and
expecting the other person to die.
I was like,
you know, it was just ahuge aha and I'm like.
That is freaking right.
You know, like who'sreally suffering here?
(34:42):
Yeah.
Because of my resentment and angertoward this person for whatever.
I am not them.
They don't even know.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I'm sorry, Jack.
Go ahead.
I just, you know, that'swhat Jake made me think.
No, you're good.
You're good.
No, it's, it's it too.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So, I, I guess just a couple things here,Jake, before we kind of, kind of wrap.
(35:02):
I think, you know, one, you talkedabout the performance anxiety
and, and you know, having to, uh,you know, possibly go back to.
Previous experiences and how you unlearnand relearn kind of moving forward.
And, you know, obviously anxietyis, is thinking about the future.
And one of the, the concepts thathelp us kind of move out of that
(35:23):
is we just don't have the skills.
Required to handle that situation.
So being able to, to what, what we needto learn and what we need to develop, you
know, is that, is that kind of part of it?
What, we're just not equipped withthe right capabilities to be able
to handle that, that situation.
Just like you referring toperformance anxiety with athletes,
maybe they just don't have.
(35:44):
Proper routine.
You know, I'm big, you know, sooner Guygrew up in Oklahoma, so I, you know,
all about all the Sooners on the prolevel and, and, um, I love bake, right?
Bake bakes, bakes the guy.
And, um, just listening to him ashe's matured throughout his career
and he's just like talking aboutthat, you know, when he was hurt last
year or being able to, he's like.
(36:04):
He's like, I can still addvalue, I can still help guys with
routines and things that theyneed to be prepared for coming in.
How do they get prepared?
How do they handle injury?
How do they go through that?
And I'm like, dang.
Right?
Like, you just don't know that untilyou've had to go through it yourself
and being able to pour into people.
So kind of like, not even from, fromperformance anxiety for um, you know.
(36:25):
Athletes, but also professionals, right?
How do I handle, how do Ihandle difficult conversations?
How do I handle leadership situationsthat I'm kind of forced into that?
How do I navigate, youknow, navigate this?
How do IN navigate this deal?
Like, what are some, some grounding,you know, tools that you can
give somebody like, Hey, listen,if you're struggling with this.
(36:47):
Do this, get this foundation first beforewe build upon it, kind of moving forward.
Yeah.
Well, I, I, I think in under, you know,in order to control things, we gotta
have a deeper understanding of what'sactually taking place, place within us
mentally and, and, you know, physicallyas a result of having the anxious.
Thoughts that are present.
So, you know, earlier we were talkingabout the theta frequency, right?
(37:08):
Which is very slow.
When a person is experiencing anxiety,their, their brainwaves are super fast.
It's called like a midbeta, high beta frequency.
And so through your breath.
By focusing on your breath and bringingthat breath deep into your belly, you're
able to again, slow those brainwavesdown so that whatever you're anxious
about, yes it's still gonna be there,but your view of it, how you're viewing
(37:30):
it, and the perspective that you cantake on it will drastically shift.
So, you know, it could be a simplepractice of a three second inhale into
your belly, hold that for four secondsand then exhale for five seconds.
And what people don't understandis that when they are anxious.
They are in fight or flight mode.
So their body is operating underthe, the impression that there's
(37:51):
something outside of them thatthey need to fight or flight from.
And in 99.9% of the casesthat is, that is not true, but
their breath is very shallow.
I. And that's how most people arebreathing throughout the day, very
shallow to the upper part of theirlungs, which leads more to the feelings
of, of things that we don't want toexperience, whether that's anxiety,
(38:12):
depression, you know, panic attacks.
So the deeper you are withyour breath, the more grounded
and in the moment you can be.
So that, again, when these differentthings happen, it's got nothing to
do with the difficult conversation.
It has everything to do withwhere your thinking is about the.
Difficult conversation.
It's got nothing to dowith this future event.
It has everything to do withhow you're thinking about it.
(38:33):
And so many people get caught increating these stories of what
they think it's gonna be like.
And most of the time thosestories are negative.
So if you're going to participatein the story creating, why not
create a story that's gonna helpyou to feel better in the moment?
And, and view it, view that I'm gonna getinto that sales call, into this interview,
and I'm gonna fricking crush it.
(38:53):
This is my approach.
I'm gonna stand tall, I'm gonnasit, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have
a presence in the room, right?
And I'm gonna speak with confidenceand my delivery is gonna be clear.
And you can literally visualize all ofthat before the future thing, which then
opens you up to feeling more comfortableand confident whenever that future thing
happens, because the mind and the body.
Don't know the difference between anevent happening in real time and one
(39:16):
that you create from thought alone.
The more you do the mentalreps, you're actually preparing
yourself for that future event.
So when it comes comfort,confidence, let's go attack.
Uh, I love it.
I love it.
There's a lot of, you know, youknow, just stoic philosophy and
a lot of the things that you justkind of referenced right in there.
And, um, I. Yeah, I, I, you know, justwhy suffer, you know, most of the time
(39:37):
you're not gonna suffer it at all.
Right?
And, and we suffer more in ourmind than we do in, in real life.
And it's so that's so powerfulto be able to, um, understand
that and have that concept.
But it does come backto the breathing, right?
It comes back down to the breath work.
Yeah.
And, and one thing I've realizedthrough my journey of, of healing
from the things that I've healedfrom, is that suffering is necessary
(39:57):
until you realize it's not necessary.
You know, you, you have to go throughthe suffer until you realize, oh, shoot.
So much of the sufferingis just rooted in me.
It's me against me.
It's Alby against Alby.
It's John against John,and that's, that's life.
And we're either experiencinglife or we're experiencing mind.
So the more you can get outtayour mind, tune into your breath,
come back home to your body.
(40:18):
And there's one, you know, exampleanalogy I like to use for people.
And I'll, and I'll use this, I know we'retrying to get, uh, get done here, but
if you can view your mind when you'reexperiencing positive thoughts, if you
can view that as the sunny blue sky.
Right.
We know that in times the stormscome, right, the dark clouds come,
the thunder, the lightning, the thetornadoes, those strike down on earth.
(40:40):
The earth for us is our bodies.
So we experience the negative thoughts.
We feel the symptoms of thosenegative thoughts within our body.
What do we need for the storm outside topass to the next city or the next state?
We need the wind to come throughand push it, push it away.
And the wind for us is our breath.
Get outta your mind.
Come back home to your body, come backhome to safety, and you will then be
(41:01):
able to view life from a, a clearer lens.
So the next right choice, the nexthealthiest choice is more readily
available to you opposed to staying inthe darkness, staying in the clouds.
Mm. That's amazing, man.
I love that.
All right.
I, I, I do, I really love that al, thatthat is, um, extremely powerful, right?
I've.
A lot of mindfulness practice and, andfor me, like, just whatever it is, right?
(41:25):
So I've, I've been on the Headspaceapp for maybe a decade now.
I've got like 38,000 minutes,um, on that dang thing.
And, um, you know, one of the conceptsthat they talk about is the blue sky.
Like kind of what you're referring tois that no matter how dark and cloudy
it is, there's always blue sky above it.
And if you can just sit still enoughand just kind of get into yourself.
But I love the little factthat, that you put in there that
(41:46):
I've never heard That is, hmm.
That is so spot on, is that we needthe wind to push the storm along,
and the wind for us is our breath.
Like that to me, like thatis extremely powerful.
I love that.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
You know, Jacob, um, if there's anyonelistening to this podcast that wants
to get ahold of you and, you know, needyour help, need your expertise, need
(42:09):
your guidance, because clearly, um.
You know, you, you, um, you have abig impact on a lot of people and, and
especially, you know, your niche seems tobe, you know, working with high producing,
uh, you know, high, high, um, yeah.
High producing people, whetherit's pro athletes or, or,
or, or business people that.
(42:29):
Produce at a high level,uh, that comes with stress.
It comes with different, different,uh, challenges versus people that are
operating at an amateur level, right?
Mm-hmm.
How can they get ahold of you?
What's the best way for them toconnect with, uh, Jacob Newton?
Yeah, so you'll, you can find me on,on LinkedIn at just Jacob Newton.
You'll see, you know, my, the,the symbol for my, my business.
Newton's mind.
(42:49):
My slogan is, take back your power,um, on Instagram at newton's mind,
N-E-W-T-O-N-S, mind, MIND 55.
On Facebook just at Jacob Newton.
Um, and yeah, you know, obviouslyright now I'm, I'm primarily
working with, with hockey players,but my guidance is universal.
I could work with anyathlete across any sport.
It doesn't matter because I'mnot, you know, helping them
(43:11):
specifically with their sport.
I'm helping them with the mindset.
And so, um, but even more than that, Ilove working with just everyday people.
Uh, whether that's, you know, highperformance in the sales world or just
people that experience things as as,as, as a child, which again, I did,
I've done a lot of healing around that.
Um, and I'm just super passionate aboutnot trying to just help one person.
I think there's too many peoplesaying, ah, if I could just help one
(43:34):
person, Uhuh, I'm, I'm trying to helpas many people as I possibly can.
Thousands, hundreds of thousands.
So if anybody wants some, some moreclarity on the things we talked about or
wants their to reach out for themselvesor maybe their kids, again, you can
find me on those different platformsand, and I, I'm here to be of service.
So thank you guys for this opportunity.
So good, so good.
I'm grateful for you, Jacob.
(43:54):
I'm grateful, uh, for our friendshipand appreciate you coming on and, and
sharing this valuable information too.
Too many people aren't hearingthis message and, um, you've
articulated it beautifully.
So we appreciate your timecoming on and joining us.
Um, John, I'm grateful foryou as well, my friend.
Love you.
And, um, love you.
Anybody out there connect withJacob, you won't be sorry.
(44:17):
I've worked with him in the past and,uh, looking to work with him in the
future here, and I, I can't wait tosee you in March for the Baker's Cup.
Classic.
I believe it's March20th, I'm not mistaken.
Thursday night, March 20th.
Yeah.
I just talked to Went yesterday.
Yep.
Yep.
In fact, the, um, the playersroster is sold out now.
We have a waiting list,uh, to get on for players.
So, and, and I know we've got, we're,we're hoping that the Road to the
(44:40):
Bankers Cup will be happening again.
And we've got our, our Prime candidate.
We're just waiting to hear backfrom him on if he's gonna join us.
Okay, cool.
You'll love it.
You'll love it.
That's always so fun.
That's always so fun.
We basically grab.
John a a a a person that's reallynever played hockey before or
barely ever been on skates and teachthem how to play hockey with Jake.
(45:00):
Jake actually coaches and teaches themfor about three months before the game, so
by the time they get on the ice, they cankind of, you know, maneuver around a bit,
but they're still new and it's just reallyhilarious watching them fall and, and.
Mary, thank you guys.
(45:21):
Jake, thank you by theway, Jake, and um, yeah.
Thank you guys.
We'll, we'll talk to you guys soon.
Thank you.
See you guys.
Thank you.
That's a wrap for today.
I hope you got somethingvaluable from this episode.
If you did, hit follow andvisit John kitchens.coach for
more ways we can work together.
See you on the next episode.
Seven figure success starts whenyou start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the JohnKitchens Coach Podcast.
Experience is your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger andtransform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
Everybody, man.
Thank you guys.
Jumping into another episodeof One Big Fire and, uh, I'm
(00:24):
really gonna be selfishlyexcited for today's conversation.
I love any, any opportunity to get with.
Any individual, especially on the,on the sports side of things, right?
Anybody that reaches kind ofthat upper echelon to kind of
hit that pro status, right?
Like the work ethic, the discipline, themindset, the luck that has to kind of
(00:45):
go in to be able to get to that level.
I just love, you know, picking thebrains and, and kind of hearing
their, their process, their, theirjourney to get to that point.
But, uh, before we jump in and, and,um, chop it up with Jake a little bit.
Mr. Stasi.
What's happening brother?
Hey, what's up Mr. Kitchens?
Yes, yes.
Uh, super excited to welcome Jakeonto the podcast before we get started
(01:07):
and dig in and get to learn aboutthis amazing human being and, uh, all
the good he's doing in the world nowand his his journey through the NHL.
Wanna remind everybody, goto honey badger nation.com.
Uh, we are gonna be addingsome killer, killer new merch.
We've had the same old merch.
I gotta take a hundred zeroresponsibility for that.
(01:28):
We haven't upgraded it.
We are upgrading it now.
So in 2025, we're gonna have awhole new line of, uh, awesome
Honey Badger Nation merch.
Uh, I know Jake Jake's, uh, a bitfamiliar with that because it's on the
jerseys of our hockey jerseys, uh, thatwe play with Banker's Cup, and we'll
talk a little bit about that as well.
But, um, make sure you checkit out honey pagination.com.
(01:50):
Also our, our coaching that we do weekly.
Um, and you can also find outopportunities on how to partner
with us@honeypagination.com.
Without any further ado, Jacob.
My buddy Jake Newton.
What's up my friend?
Hey brother.
It's so good to be here, my man.
So good.
Uh, feeling good.
The sun's shining herein Cleveland, as we know.
(02:11):
It's, uh, very rare in the winter time.
So, uh, I'm looking forward to,to this episode and then once
this is done, getting out for myworkout out in the metro parks.
But, uh, things are good.
Life is good, and uh, God is good.
So here we are.
I love it, man.
So, you know, I met Jakethrough a good friend of mine.
Chris went, uh, and we do a, uh,hockey tournament, or not a tournament.
(02:31):
It's really a game.
And it's just a charity, um,event that Chris started, I don't
know, four or five years ago now.
Yeah.
Uh, and, you know, started out asactually a golf tournament and we've
added hockey to the mix because we'recrazy and we love, we love, uh, hitting
that black puck around and it's justturned into such a fun event that we
raise money for good, good causes.
And, you know, our industry gets together.
(02:53):
Um, it's, it's gonna be this comingmarch, and I'll put the information,
um, I'll, I'll let you know at theend, but that's how I met Jake.
And if I were to describe Jake,I would describe Jake this way.
I would say if you took the Buddha.
Combined it with like a Wayne Gretzky.
All right.
Now we, we have the, the, a Buddhaversion of a hockey player, which
(03:15):
doesn't, you wouldn't even think thatthose two made sense, but it does because
we have the real living, Jacob Newtonhere, who's really dedicated, um, the
last half of his career or his current,uh, you know, part of where, where he
is at right now in his journey, in hiscareer into helping, uh, elite athletes.
(03:36):
Get through the mindset part ofall the stresses, everything that
gets in the way, all the thingsthat that trigger us, throw us off.
All the things that we're trying to masteron our, our normal, like daily lives.
And of course, you know, being theCEO of your business and running
your own business as an entrepreneur,those things are constantly like,
you know, getting into our brain andthrowing us off of our path of focus.
(04:00):
And, uh, I've had manyone-on-one sessions with Jake.
He's an amazing human being.
Um, anything to add, John?
Uh, before we bring, uh, Jake up hereand chat a little bit about his journey.
Yeah, no, I mean, you know, any, like Isaid, you know, anybody at that upper,
upper level of anything in life, right?
It what I've always found,um, it's, it's that.
(04:23):
It's that mindset capability, right?
To be able to, to where you can, you know,it all starts just the visualization,
being able to start there, but also how tohandle and work through adversity and how
to, how to push through, how to maintainthe discipline, how to do those things.
It's all mindset at a, at a,it gets to a certain point.
And so, um, just, just kind of,like I said, selfishly excited
(04:44):
to jump in here today with Jake.
So Jake.
If you don't mind, you know,a lot of people listening to
our podcast never met you.
Don't know you.
Some do.
Of course, anyone that's that followedthe NHL or even recently, uh, your, you,
you were, uh, um, your, your team actuallyI think won the national championship
for the, is it three on three?
Yeah.
Three on, yeah, three on three Leaguecalled Three Ice and, uh, three Ice.
(05:07):
So much fun to watch.
By the way, if you had any chance towatch it, you can find it on your local
tv, but tell us about your journey,you know, where, where you started,
um, and where literally hockey tookyou, um, on that journey to today.
I. Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, I am, I am not fromhere in Cleveland originally.
I'm, I'm from a small little deserttown about 20, 25 minutes outside
(05:27):
of Palm Springs, California, andnobody knows my hometown, so I always
just say Palm Springs or Riverside.
Uh, the town I grew up in wasrated the fourth worst in the
whole state of California.
And so, you know how dang big Californiais and how many cities there are,
and I come from the fourth worst.
So I'm grateful for hockey becausehockey was my ticket out of that town.
There was, you know, so much time.
(05:48):
Gangs, uh, you know, there, there'sreally just no good out there.
And so again, hockey was my ticket, butI went on more unconventional routes, uh,
being that I started out in roller hockey.
Being from a small little desert town,we didn't have any ice hockey in my town.
And I'm just, uh, I'm just so,so grateful for the fact that
we had a roller hockey rink.
So, you know, I started outjust playing in the house.
(06:08):
I'll never forget getting my first pairof roller blades that had the rubber
stop stopper on the back and I was justmaking these black marks all through the
house on, on the carpet and everything.
And then we eventually.
Took it out of the house, intothe back, uh, back of the house,
the, the street behind our house.
Just, you know, gathering all the localkids around to play as much as we can.
And, you know, we started gettingsome attention around the town and
(06:29):
we got a, uh, like an article inthe local newspaper that my parents
still have hung up in their house.
So it was just, you know, goodmemories when I reflect back on that.
But as I said, a, a moreunconventional routes, you know,
starting out in roller hockey.
And at that time, ice hockeywasn't too popular in, in
California, you know, Gretzky gottraded to the Kings back in 88.
So that certainly helped, youknow, gain in its popularity.
(06:52):
And then with the Southern Californiateams finding more, more success with
the kings, the, the Stanley Cups as theyhave the, the, the Anaheim Ducks back
in 2007 really helped to amplify the,the game of ice hockey in California.
But it wasn't until the age 11 when I,when I made the transition over to ice
hockey, and that was an hour and 15.
Commute there, and thenobviously the same time back.
(07:12):
So there was a lot of dedication,obviously, but a lot of discipline and
sacrifice that that took place from,you know, not only my parents, but
both my brothers and both my sisters.
And um, you know, it wound up playing inLos Angeles, which was a hundred miles
away, but in California traffic thattook us three, three and a half hours.
So.
It was, get home from school, do yourhomework in the car, eat in the car,
(07:33):
sleep in the car, get home by one in themorning, wake up and do it all over again.
So again, a lot of, a lot of sacrificehad to take place in order for
me to be able to play this game.
Um, I. I don't come from money.
Two brothers, two sisters.
We adopted three cousins and atone point we were all playing
hockey on separate teams.
And I don't know how in the heck myparents figured that out, but we, we
(07:54):
learned how to pack, you know, fivehumans and five hockey bags into a, a two
car door, or excuse me, a two door car.
And, uh, so, so yeah, again, somuch sacrifice, but you know, that
was then, that was in news hockey.
Um, I moved away from home when Iwas 15 years old to to play junior
hockey, the, the step below college.
Um, and that was at a time when I wasexperiencing more struggles and more
(08:18):
suffering within my personal life thatI just really wasn't aware of back then.
Um, but it had a way of bleedinginto my on ice performance.
But I was, you know, fortunate that I hadsome God-given ability, uh, skills wise.
Skill-wise, excuse me, within thegame, obviously I had to be very
intentional with working on that, butum, moving away from home was obviously
a challenge at, at such a young agewhen I needed family, I needed love the
(08:40):
most, and now I'm 2000 miles away and.
At that time we didn't have FaceTime,so it was just simply phone calls.
But, uh, that was myjunior year in high school.
I went home for my senior year,and then I started getting interest
from higher level junior hockey,which is again, just the step below.
College eventually movedaway to, uh, Frisco, Texas.
I. Played there for a year, played fortwo years in Lincoln, Nebraska, and then
(09:02):
eventually, uh, went and committed to playcollege hockey at Northeastern University.
It was not my grades thatgot me into that school.
It was purely my hockey.
So thankfully, my, my hockey skills wereat a level that I could score an 18 on the
a CT and still get into a, a very well.
You know, respected academicschool in Northeastern and, and,
uh, you know, again, had anothervery successful freshman season.
(09:25):
I was on the Hockey East, which is the,the division I played in the Hockey East.
All rookie team started gaininginterest from NHL teams.
Got an offer from the WashingtonCapitals, and I was gonna take it because
I didn't wanna be at school anymore.
It was very hard to balancethe student athlete life.
Um, and so that offer came, my agenttried, tried getting me more money.
(09:45):
They said no.
Well.
The Anaheim Ducks, who's,you know, my hometown team.
Had heard, had caught windthat I received an offer.
And so they came in with amaximum rookie offer and I
eventually wound up taking that.
And, um, you know, before we getinto the mindset stuff of where I'm
at now, I was not, I, I was not atthis place then that I'm at now.
It's been many years of working onmyself, self-mastery, self-discovery,
(10:09):
but I was always told thatI've got a million dollar legs.
Meaning it was my skating abilitythat allowed me to play the style
of game that I played and allowed meto get to the levels that I got to.
But what I lacked then was themillion dollar mindset to, to go
along with the physical abilities.
And that is ultimately what, whatheld me back to not having an
actual career in the NHL, whichwas obviously the ultimate dream.
(10:30):
So that's, uh, my journey in a nutshell.
That's amazing.
Um, you know, there's a lotthere, Jake, and, and it all
led you to, you know, what?
What people in baseball, Ithink called the big show.
Right.
But, but on, on, on the ice and ithad to be an amazing experience.
What's, what's, um, what I'd love tounpack is that moment where you had
(10:54):
said it was cut short because you didn'thave the million dollar mindset and, and
you know, right along the same, when Igot my license in, I was 25 years old.
I was in my mid twenties thoughtthat, uh, my, just my pure will could
take me to where I wanted to go.
And man was my mindset justin a, in an awful place.
(11:16):
Uh, a lot of it just becauseI lived in this survival.
Um, my environment was very, you know,survival based, very victim mentality,
uh, type of things that were, I wassurrounding myself with the wrong
people in the wrong environments.
And I take responsibility forthat, but that's just where I was.
And so I had to have somekind of a realization.
(11:37):
It wasn't until for me that Imet somebody, I met this person.
I had actually known him for a few years,but he brought me to a Tony Robbins.
Uh, I'll never forget it.
We flew to Chicago and we wentto a Tony Robbins, um, UPW event.
Where you walk on coals, which I saidI would never do, and I did it anyway.
Um, it changed my life because atthat point it was a, it was a, it
(12:00):
was just a big awareness aha moment.
That there was a, there was some,some things in my brain that needed
to be unlocked that were not unlocked.
That event unlocked, it just kind ofopened up this, this ceiling, and I've
had other moments like that of belief,but I don't wanna talk about mine.
I wanna talk about yours.
What was that moment where it was like,ah, okay, there's a whole different
(12:25):
muscle I need to be working here.
It's not just my quads, you know,for, for my skating ability and,
and, and, you know, maneuverabilityon the ice or my slap shot or
my wrist shot or whatever it is.
It's like I got this muscle up herethat I need to be starting to work here.
I didn't even know that, you know,there, there was another level.
What, what was it for you?
(12:45):
What moment was that?
I. Yeah.
So, you know, after, after I signedmy contract with Anaheim, um, you
know, I signed a three year entrylevel contract with them in, in
year one of, of training camp.
Uh, I played a preseason game.
I scored a goal on my veryfirst shot, got an assist.
I had two points.
I thought I was on top of the world.
I thought I was gonna bemaking opening night roster.
This was in San Jose preseason.
(13:06):
Game, game was sold out.
It was insane.
I started, I was like, I did it.
I made it.
Here I am.
Well, the very next day, I,I participated in warmups.
And that was it.
After warmups got dressed, went upto the press box, and then eventually
got a text from, uh, like theplayer liaison saying, you need to
go see the, the general manager.
So I knew exactly what that meant.
I went and saw him.
They were gonna send me down tothe a HO, which would be again,
(13:29):
the, the Cleveland monsters here.
But, um, it wasn't even then.
Unfortunately, it wasn't eventhen that I realized my mindset
was what was holding me back.
I went from that year, youknow, had a, an okay season.
The next season I wound up gettingtraded to the Colorado Avalanche
who were, at that time they wereaffiliated with the monsters.
At that time it wasthe Lake Erie monsters.
So that's, you know, what brought me hereto Cleveland and still it wasn't there.
(13:53):
I, I, I got here, I was playingwell, and then I got injured.
I was out for a little while.
And then I would play a game,sit seven games, play a game, sit
six, eventually got sent down toa league that no longer exists.
And that still wasn't the breaking point.
The breaking point came in year threeof my career where I had gotten an offer
to go over and play in Europe, and I gotoffered, uh, a contract in the second
(14:16):
Italian league, and I didn't even knowthat there was a first Italian league.
I was not aware about hockey in Europe.
My, my vision, my goal was the NHL, andso that's, I was laser focused on that.
So now I'm in this second Italian leagueand there, yes, it's, it's a passion of
the guys on my team, the local players,but it was more of just a hobby for them.
They had a typical nine to fivejob we would practice at nighttime.
(14:39):
And so, you know, these guys weren'tout there practicing all summer long.
Like, you know, I wasas a, as an actual pro.
These guys were more amateurs.
And I remember aftermany different practices.
Taking a knee once practice was done andjust watching, observing my teammates
and noticing how several of themwere tripping over themselves because
they were just that bad at hockey.
And that's fine.
(14:59):
I don't care about that, you know?
But I realized in that moment, holyheck, I just went from an NHL contract
to the second Italian league, like.
What, what happened, what's gone on here?
And I realized in that momentthat I was the problem, um, within
all of the situations in my life.
But I found that inside of thatproblem was also the solution,
and I'm the solution as well.
(15:20):
So that's the year I started pickingup, you know, mental toughness
books, mental strength books.
That really, again, gotme into understanding that
that was the only thing.
I hadn't been exercising at that time.
You know, and Go ahead.
No, I was gonna say, Jake, whatwas, what was the, I mean, was
it just the in, in the momentwhere it just finally all sunk in?
You're just sitting there and you'reseeing these guys tripping over each
other, but they probably have thebiggest smiles on their faces and they're
(15:43):
just loving every dang second of it.
But, you know, for you, you couldhave still latched on even deeper
to that victim mentality and.
And, and really, you know, carriedthat burden with you through,
throughout the rest of your life and,and, you know, made, made everybody
else around you even more miserable,you know, than even you were.
So was it, was it just 'cause I,what I find even in myself, right?
(16:06):
It's just, you know,lack of awareness, right?
You're just not even, you'renot even solution aware.
You're not problem awareand it's sometimes.
We just have that strongerrelationship with the window
than we do with the mirror.
And was it, was it for you justlike, holy shit, like this is real.
I'm, I'm in the, I'm, I'm in Europe.
I'm this far away from my family.
(16:27):
I'm in a league that I didn't even knowit existed, but these dudes are terrible,
but they're having the time of their life.
Like, was it, was it just that,that fast of an awareness for you?
So, so it was a little bit of that, butthen it was also, you know, with, while
reading these books, what it opened meup to is becoming more aware of myself
and more introspective, you know?
And at that time I wasdoing everything physical.
(16:48):
I was doing everything that NHL playersdo, uh, physically, but through this
book, it got me into understanding that.
It allowed me to, you know, usesome memories of past situations,
whether that be adversity, you know,getting cut, getting traded, getting
screamed at by coaches, you know,and it allowed me to tune into how I
responded to those external situations.
(17:10):
And what I realized within myselfis that I. I became a victim.
No different than Al was talking about.
I became a victim in all of these sitsituations, and I got lost in blaming
others or complaining about, you know,my current circumstances, my current
situation, not realizing the role Iplayed within my own suffering to get
there within, within my own struggle.
And so once I was able to again, take alook at the mirror and, and just point
(17:32):
the finger back at myself, I, again,it just opened me up to understanding
that it's everything is here.
What was the book?
What was the book, Jake?
Uh, so the first bookwas called, uh, mind Jim.
Um, I believe I still Yep.
Right here.
Did, did you, did you find, oh, I love it.
Did you find it?
Did somebody hand it to you?
What was, yeah, it was actually abuddy of mine that I played with.
(17:55):
He's actually still agood brother of mine.
Uh, I played here withthe monsters, with him.
His name's Greg Malden.
He, he played in the NHL.
Um, not as long as he wanted to, ofcourse, but then he wound up over
in Europe, kind of the same yearsas I, and so we were over in Europe
together for, for seven years.
Not together, but still over there,kept in touch and he mentioned this
book to me and so I decided that to,to purchase it and, and dive into it.
(18:17):
Um, and it, and it'sinteresting because I think.
Through all of the differentbooks and everything.
I think we as humans, we, weall have mental strengths.
We've all exemplified and,and shown that in our lives.
But I think the biggest separatoris the mental stamina because we
know that life is gonna continuethrowing things at us, right?
And it's easy at times to just get up,okay, I can handle this, but what happens
(18:38):
when it's the next day and the nextday and next week and the next month,
and it's every single year, you know?
So.
The more you lean into those situations,I've found is what allows us to have
that mental stamina so that again,we can better manage ourselves in
the face of the, the chaos that weknow is coming, whether that's daily,
weekly, monthly, or, or, or yearly.
So, yeah.
(18:59):
So Jake, um, you know, it, it'sfor, I I I love using the, the,
the amateur versus pro analogy.
Actually our, our friend coachMichael Bur, um, you know, kind
of put it into a cool, cool, um.
Way of saying it, if you will, where, youknow, for real estate agents, many real
estate agents wanna leave their amateurdesires behind and going pro, but those
(19:23):
are just kind of fancy words and they'refun to say from, from a, a pro athlete
standpoint, a lot of things are similar.
Um, to be able to operate as a realestate professional at a high level,
you have to do things differently than,than you're, you're, you're gonna do.
If you just wanna just take what's givenand, and operate at a mediocre level,
(19:46):
uh, a lot of things are gonna change.
You have to manage your time differently.
You have to surround yourselfwith different people.
Um.
From, from a, from a pro hockey player,though that specifically, and then
we can kind of like use your exampleto, to mirror it to our industry.
What's the number one, what are thebig road roadblocks that you help
(20:08):
professional, you know, athletesget over where, where, what, what
is, what is the roadblock thatthey, they keep running into?
They're obviously talented,they're hardworking.
They, they, they must have at somepoint been introduced to the right
surroundings and right people to get wherethey're at, to get an opportunity to.
Even, you know, try out, let alonelike operate inside of an NHL or any
(20:31):
kind of a professional sports network.
What's the thing that, thatmost, number one, most common
thing that happens to high.
Hi, highly, uh, talented athletesthat sets 'em back, holds 'em back
from getting to the next level thatyou actually can isolate, focus
on and help them work on and fix.
Yeah, I, I would say the biggestone is negative self-talk.
(20:54):
You know, we, we, we all experiencethe thoughts all day long.
You know, we, we, we roughlyexperienced 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day.
And 90% of the thoughts that wewill experience today are the same
exact thoughts that we experiencedyesterday, and unfortunately,
70% of them are negative.
So the more you can step intoawareness and understanding that,
right, you are then essentiallya victim to your own mindset.
(21:15):
Whether you're aware of thethoughts or not your body.
Is always paying attention.
That's the mind body connection, youknow, so, so many players regardless of
age, regardless of, you know, abilitylevels, they just don't understand the
power and ability they have to stopnegative thinking and recreate new
thoughts that are gonna fall in lineat a quicker rate with the player they
are and the player that they wanna be.
(21:36):
Um, so negative self-talkis a massive one, but.
Uh, performance anxiety is another hugeone that, um, again, it doesn't matter.
I, I was working with a a 29-year-oldpro that plays over in Europe, and one
of his biggest roadblocks was he gotway too nervous before games and he
just didn't know how to manage himself.
I. In that, but I was able to guide andhelp him on getting to the root cause
(21:58):
of his performance anxiety throughthe work that I've done on myself.
You know, I, I mentioned these books.
There's so many other books that I'veread, but it's in the, the deeper
work that I've done on myself that hasbeen able to eliminate so many of the
roadblocks, you know, so that's whatI really try and help my athletes wi
with, is again, getting to the rootcause of our whatever the struggle is.
(22:18):
'cause I, in my opinion, eeverything in our adult life is
directly connected to our childhood.
So if we can go back to those places andmaybe reco ourselves, uh, again, if this
performance anxiety is coming from how acoach, you know, used to treat us within
the game at, at our younger ages Yeah.
Then that's a re coaching.
And so there's a process to doing it.
It might take it a few times, butyou're worthy of that and you're
(22:41):
certainly capable of it just in time.
Or at times, excuse me, players justneed, you know, proper guidance on
how to go back and, and heal thatversion of themselves so that they
can be more present and not get out ofcontrol with, uh, with that anxiety.
Yeah.
What are some, what are some, um,immediate exercises that you, you
know, really, you know, try toinstill into, you know, the athletes
(23:04):
around the negative self-talk?
Like where, where do you immediatelytry to try to shift them to, obviously
what they're doing is not servingthem, but what is, Hey, let's, let's,
let's incorporate these exercisesthat I know will, will serve you to,
to really overcome that challenge.
Yeah, sir. Uh, so the, the first tool,and it's, it's a very simple tool.
It's very easy to apply and.
Literally any area of your life, butit's within the first 20 minutes, 20 to
(23:28):
30 minutes after we wake up is when thesubconscious mind is the most aware.
Our brainwaves are on a thetafrequency, so our brainwaves are
very slow, and that's the same exactbrainwaves that we were experiencing
in the first seven, eight years.
We were alive.
We were in that theta frequency,so we were in absorption mode.
So how we were spoken to by our parents,our closest caretakers, brothers, sisters,
(23:50):
friends, classmates, teammates, theirvoices eventually became our inner voice.
So there's a way to re rewire andreprogram that in a perfect time.
To do that is, again, withinthose first 20 to 30 minutes.
So I guide them on just.
Having, uh, you know, a differentroutine to start their day instead
of getting up and getting straighton your phone, which we've all been
there, we know well, now you're feedingthe subconscious mind technology.
(24:14):
Your subconscious mind is gonna want moreof that throughout the rest of the day.
So instead of doing that, Iget them into some positive
self-talk to start their day.
And by starting it or starting yourday with that, what it opens you up to.
Is becoming more aware of yourthinking and your thought patterns
throughout the rest of the day.
So again, we know we're gonnago back unconscious at some
(24:34):
point during the day, and so.
Again, with starting your day withthat, it opens up an opportunity
for you to recognize that.
And then once you've recognized nowa new choice is available to you.
Um, and once the new choice is there,we get then get to step into being the
conscious thinker, the active thinker.
And when we're producing our own thoughts,we're gonna choose to make those positive.
Um, and then if they're positive inthe mind, again, we get to experience a
(24:56):
different feeling in the body as well.
I love that because, you know, it's,it's knowledge and power, right?
So it's just awareness and choice.
Mm-hmm.
And, and that's the power, right?
Is, is in the choice.
And so I, I love that, um, being ableto, you know, go, go right into it.
And for me, that, that morning isjust kind of what led, you know,
(25:17):
to us even on this call was, youknow, Al and I were talking about.
Um, you know, it's just that gratitudepractice first thing in the morning
and that, that's, for me, that'smy exercise is just, Hey, what
am I grateful for in the moment?
That's the very first thing.
Um, I know a lot of people, you know, havethe gratitude at the end of the day, so it
kind of forces them to look for the thingsthat are grateful for throughout the day.
(25:38):
But being able to have some type of, ofgratitude practice and, uh, you know, I
love that, that that positive self-talk.
'cause it's, I mean.
We're so, you know, the things that wesay we hear and then we start to believe
that that plays in the, in the backgroundis, is so, so powerful to, to reprogram.
But having that, uh, thatlevel of awareness is, is key.
(26:00):
What are some like, um, ideal?
Even maybe for you or, or, oryour athletes, kind of that first
60, 90 minutes of every day towhere you see them taking their
lives to a whole nother level.
Yeah, so, you know, it's obviously,it's though that the positive self
talk to start, start, but I'm also a,a big advocate for, for breath work.
Um, and I know that through my ownpractice I've been doing breath
(26:22):
work now for, for seven years.
I got certified and, and as a breathwork instructor three years ago.
Um, so it's a non-negotiable forme to start my day with breath
work to, you know, engage my diet.
From Oxygenate my system,which just creates a different
level of focus and presence.
And I think ultimately that'swhat life needs from us.
And that's the requirement.
You want to get more outta life.
You want to, you know, serve the peoplethat you serve at a higher level.
(26:46):
You want to be present.
And so by starting your day withthe breath work to oxygenate your
system, again, it's more focus, moreclarity, more mental resiliency.
You're better able to manage yourself, youknow, mental control, emotional control.
So I guide a lot of my, my athletes onbreath work to start their day as well.
And what it does, again, it justcreates, and it puts you more
(27:06):
into a responsive state, you know?
So that again, yes, life'sgonna continue to happen.
Just because we're working on ourmindset, it doesn't mean that it's
gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.
You know?
It doesn't mean that the strugglesaren't gonna come, but what it
does is it just sets you up into,again, being better able to manage
yourself when those things happen.
You know?
So, you know, in the sales world, heck,I was in car sales for, for seven months.
(27:29):
I despised it, you know,I wasn't a fan, it was.
So outside of who I am as a person.
Um, but I have clients now thatare non-athletes that are in sales,
and so I put them through a, a weakchallenge of starting their, their day.
No different than whatwe're speaking about here.
And what the results have been is thatthey're able to be far more present
in their sales calls, in their salespitches, and it makes it easier for
(27:52):
them to overcome the objections becausethey're far more present and in control
of themselves, so that now when theobjection comes, they're a lot more clear,
clear in their mind so that you know.
What to say next is a lot easier.
Opposed to, you know,having no morning routines.
These things happen.
We feel like life is taken from us.
Ah, I'm just gonna give up.
I, I don't know how to overcomethis, but again, the more grounded
(28:13):
you are in yourself, I think it justsets you up to have transformation
in every area of your life.
I love it, man.
I got up, um, real quick 'causeI want, you know, I saw where the
conversation was going and, um, oneof the things that I'm implementing
right now is that morning routine.
I'd love to add the breath work toit, but it's just one of those things,
(28:34):
it's another habit that I'm trying to,you know, I'm trying to create a new
healthy habit of doing that one thing.
What I didn't know, what I just learnedfrom what you just shared with me is that.
Where we're in that theta, you calledit the theta mode, where, where
our unconscious is more absorbent.
Kinda like a, it's moreabsorbent like a sponge.
(28:55):
Like we're, we're able to, you know,like internalize and actually like keep
a lot more in in the first, did yousay 20 or 30 minutes of being awake?
Yeah, the first 20 to 30 minutes.
Yeah.
We're on that theta frequency.
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
Now, you know, so I actuallyjust picked up this.
Literally just was delivered today and Ibought three for my three sons as well.
(29:17):
And it's, it's the gratitude journal.
Yeah.
And, and you can get any, anything for it.
But this one's a, it's, it's agratitude journal specifically for men.
It's like 18 bucks or something on Amazon.
So I bought a bunch of them and, um.
You know, this is what I'm doingevery morning to, to start my day off.
And, and one of the reasons that I'm, I'mdoing it is that everybody has bad days.
(29:41):
Even people that are, you know, ingood places, maybe they're in good
places with their relationship andwork and business and financially,
whatever, but we all have that.
We all have some shit around thecorner that we're dealing with.
Right.
And you know, that mood.
That can literally set you back daysif you're, you know what I mean?
If you're not, if you don't havethat awareness and, and the skills
(30:01):
and ability to handle these, thesethings that come up, it can really,
you can end up losing hours and, and,and hours can turn into lost days.
And when you think about that froma business standpoint, it costs you
a lot of money and it costs you alot of emotional stress as well.
And I think it's really, reallyhard to be bummed out and depressed.
(30:21):
When you start with writing down whatyou're grateful for every day, which
is I think how you ended up on thepodcast because you commented on,
you know, the gratitude post that Ihad put up, um, about John's story,
about being grateful for the fleas.
Um, and that's a story if you know,head, head to my Facebook wall, if
you're listening to this and youdon't know what I'm talking about,
(30:43):
I won't go through the whole storyright now 'cause we have in the past.
But what I wrote down atthe beginning of this, Jake.
Is your version of that, at leastat the beginning, was you were
grateful for the roller rink.
Now you didn't have ice hockey.
You could have had the mindset of saying.
Man, why didn't my parents like raise mein a place where they actually had ice
(31:03):
hockey and there wasn't gangs runningaround and there wasn't this and that,
and have that victim mentality of blamegame of where, or why or why didn't they
have the money to do, you know, you werelike, I'm grateful for the roller rink
even though it wasn't the, the ice rink.
And, and that was a big aha.
It took me till I was about, Idon't know, maybe 20, 22 years
old I was holding this resentment.
(31:26):
Holding onto this resentment and itwas almost like I liked holding onto
the resentment 'cause it was part ofmy, who I was, my identity at the time.
And I was just pissed off and angryat everybody, which also reflected
in the music I was listening to andthe people I was hanging out with.
And just all of it.
And, and, and luckily I had a wake up.
(31:47):
And my wake up came from a, a personwho was actually one of my teammates at
one point, but a friend growing up, themost unlikely guy that you would ever.
Think to take advice from, becausehe was kind of an asshole, but
like, I mean, he was my asshole.
He said, you know what?
I think you need to forgive yourparents and forgive, you know,
(32:09):
whoever you're holding onto thisanger from and just let it go.
And I was like, dang, you're right.
Why am you know, they did the bestthey could that, you know, with,
with what they had at the time.
And just that lesson initself, I had to forgive them.
Not that they needed forgiveness, butlike in my mind clearly that I did
(32:32):
before, that I could then mentallymove on and start working on me.
I was just carrying too much shit.
So anyways, um, wanted to bringthat up and, um, really good stuff.
Anything else to wrap up?
Yeah.
Can I, can I dive intothat a little bit as well?
Absolutely.
You know, obviously the gratitude thing,like you said, again, it goes hand in hand
with, with what we were talking about.
If you start your day with gratitude, it'sgonna open you up to, you know, thinking
(32:55):
more about the things that you're gratefulfor throughout the rest of the day.
You know, so it's, again, those first 20minutes are so powerful, but, you know,
in regards to forgiveness like that is.
It's a powerful thing because I've donea lot of, you know, I'll, I'll be, I
don't know if you've, if you've read thearticles on my story, my childhood and
everything, but, you know, experienceda lot of childhood trauma, uh, things
that I've had to work through, youknow, especially now being a parent,
(33:16):
the last thing I wanna do is hand downwhat was handed down to me, you know?
But in, in regards to forgiveness,I think the reason why.
People are resistant to forgivingother people is because they feel like
these other people don't deserve it.
And sure, you might be right, butwe don't forgive them for them.
We forgive them for us, so that wecan, we can drop that weight and then
then step into a healthier versionand a better version of ourselves.
(33:38):
Because again, whoever it is that youknow, we need forgiveness from, or whoever
we need to forgive, they don't know.
They don't know that you'reexperiencing the pain of holding onto
that resentment so much, you know?
So therefore you're the only one thatcan suffer from it, can struggle from it.
So by the, the power of forgiveness,you then drop that weight, which
allows you to be more mentallyclear, more emotionally in control.
(34:00):
And so now it becomes a lot easierto go and make those healthy choices
to fall in line with, you know,the people that we want to become.
Yeah, man.
Hey, Jake, before, before we wrap.
Uh, let me, let me spit this quoteout, but hang on to that, Johnny.
Hang on to that.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever hear the quote?
And I had it hanging above my deskwith, in, with a picture of a Buddha
(34:21):
and it said, um, hanging on angeris like drinking poison and, and
expecting the other person to die.
I was like,
you know, it was just ahuge aha and I'm like.
That is freaking right.
You know, like who'sreally suffering here?
(34:42):
Yeah.
Because of my resentment and angertoward this person for whatever.
I am not them.
They don't even know.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I'm sorry, Jack.
Go ahead.
I just, you know, that'swhat Jake made me think.
No, you're good.
You're good.
No, it's, it's it too.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So, I, I guess just a couple things here,Jake, before we kind of, kind of wrap.
(35:02):
I think, you know, one, you talkedabout the performance anxiety
and, and you know, having to, uh,you know, possibly go back to.
Previous experiences and how you unlearnand relearn kind of moving forward.
And, you know, obviously anxietyis, is thinking about the future.
And one of the, the concepts thathelp us kind of move out of that
(35:23):
is we just don't have the skills.
Required to handle that situation.
So being able to, to what, what we needto learn and what we need to develop, you
know, is that, is that kind of part of it?
What, we're just not equipped withthe right capabilities to be able
to handle that, that situation.
Just like you referring toperformance anxiety with athletes,
maybe they just don't have.
(35:44):
Proper routine.
You know, I'm big, you know, sooner Guygrew up in Oklahoma, so I, you know,
all about all the Sooners on the prolevel and, and, um, I love bake, right?
Bake bakes, bakes the guy.
And, um, just listening to him ashe's matured throughout his career
and he's just like talking aboutthat, you know, when he was hurt last
year or being able to, he's like.
(36:04):
He's like, I can still addvalue, I can still help guys with
routines and things that theyneed to be prepared for coming in.
How do they get prepared?
How do they handle injury?
How do they go through that?
And I'm like, dang.
Right?
Like, you just don't know that untilyou've had to go through it yourself
and being able to pour into people.
So kind of like, not even from, fromperformance anxiety for um, you know.
(36:25):
Athletes, but also professionals, right?
How do I handle, how do Ihandle difficult conversations?
How do I handle leadership situationsthat I'm kind of forced into that?
How do I navigate, youknow, navigate this?
How do IN navigate this deal?
Like, what are some, some grounding,you know, tools that you can
give somebody like, Hey, listen,if you're struggling with this.
(36:47):
Do this, get this foundation first beforewe build upon it, kind of moving forward.
Yeah.
Well, I, I, I think in under, you know,in order to control things, we gotta
have a deeper understanding of what'sactually taking place, place within us
mentally and, and, you know, physicallyas a result of having the anxious.
Thoughts that are present.
So, you know, earlier we were talkingabout the theta frequency, right?
(37:08):
Which is very slow.
When a person is experiencing anxiety,their, their brainwaves are super fast.
It's called like a midbeta, high beta frequency.
And so through your breath.
By focusing on your breath and bringingthat breath deep into your belly, you're
able to again, slow those brainwavesdown so that whatever you're anxious
about, yes it's still gonna be there,but your view of it, how you're viewing
(37:30):
it, and the perspective that you cantake on it will drastically shift.
So, you know, it could be a simplepractice of a three second inhale into
your belly, hold that for four secondsand then exhale for five seconds.
And what people don't understandis that when they are anxious.
They are in fight or flight mode.
So their body is operating underthe, the impression that there's
(37:51):
something outside of them thatthey need to fight or flight from.
And in 99.9% of the casesthat is, that is not true, but
their breath is very shallow.
I. And that's how most people arebreathing throughout the day, very
shallow to the upper part of theirlungs, which leads more to the feelings
of, of things that we don't want toexperience, whether that's anxiety,
(38:12):
depression, you know, panic attacks.
So the deeper you are withyour breath, the more grounded
and in the moment you can be.
So that, again, when these differentthings happen, it's got nothing to
do with the difficult conversation.
It has everything to do withwhere your thinking is about the.
Difficult conversation.
It's got nothing to dowith this future event.
It has everything to do withhow you're thinking about it.
(38:33):
And so many people get caught increating these stories of what
they think it's gonna be like.
And most of the time thosestories are negative.
So if you're going to participatein the story creating, why not
create a story that's gonna helpyou to feel better in the moment?
And, and view it, view that I'm gonna getinto that sales call, into this interview,
and I'm gonna fricking crush it.
(38:53):
This is my approach.
I'm gonna stand tall, I'm gonnasit, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have
a presence in the room, right?
And I'm gonna speak with confidenceand my delivery is gonna be clear.
And you can literally visualize all ofthat before the future thing, which then
opens you up to feeling more comfortableand confident whenever that future thing
happens, because the mind and the body.
Don't know the difference between anevent happening in real time and one
(39:16):
that you create from thought alone.
The more you do the mentalreps, you're actually preparing
yourself for that future event.
So when it comes comfort,confidence, let's go attack.
Uh, I love it.
I love it.
There's a lot of, you know, youknow, just stoic philosophy and
a lot of the things that you justkind of referenced right in there.
And, um, I. Yeah, I, I, you know, justwhy suffer, you know, most of the time
(39:37):
you're not gonna suffer it at all.
Right?
And, and we suffer more in ourmind than we do in, in real life.
And it's so that's so powerfulto be able to, um, understand
that and have that concept.
But it does come backto the breathing, right?
It comes back down to the breath work.
Yeah.
And, and one thing I've realizedthrough my journey of, of healing
from the things that I've healedfrom, is that suffering is necessary
(39:57):
until you realize it's not necessary.
You know, you, you have to go throughthe suffer until you realize, oh, shoot.
So much of the sufferingis just rooted in me.
It's me against me.
It's Alby against Alby.
It's John against John,and that's, that's life.
And we're either experiencinglife or we're experiencing mind.
So the more you can get outtayour mind, tune into your breath,
come back home to your body.
(40:18):
And there's one, you know, exampleanalogy I like to use for people.
And I'll, and I'll use this, I know we'retrying to get, uh, get done here, but
if you can view your mind when you'reexperiencing positive thoughts, if you
can view that as the sunny blue sky.
Right.
We know that in times the stormscome, right, the dark clouds come,
the thunder, the lightning, the thetornadoes, those strike down on earth.
(40:40):
The earth for us is our bodies.
So we experience the negative thoughts.
We feel the symptoms of thosenegative thoughts within our body.
What do we need for the storm outside topass to the next city or the next state?
We need the wind to come throughand push it, push it away.
And the wind for us is our breath.
Get outta your mind.
Come back home to your body, come backhome to safety, and you will then be
(41:01):
able to view life from a, a clearer lens.
So the next right choice, the nexthealthiest choice is more readily
available to you opposed to staying inthe darkness, staying in the clouds.
Mm. That's amazing, man.
I love that.
All right.
I, I, I do, I really love that al, thatthat is, um, extremely powerful, right?
I've.
A lot of mindfulness practice and, andfor me, like, just whatever it is, right?
(41:25):
So I've, I've been on the Headspaceapp for maybe a decade now.
I've got like 38,000 minutes,um, on that dang thing.
And, um, you know, one of the conceptsthat they talk about is the blue sky.
Like kind of what you're referring tois that no matter how dark and cloudy
it is, there's always blue sky above it.
And if you can just sit still enoughand just kind of get into yourself.
But I love the little factthat, that you put in there that
(41:46):
I've never heard That is, hmm.
That is so spot on, is that we needthe wind to push the storm along,
and the wind for us is our breath.
Like that to me, like thatis extremely powerful.
I love that.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
You know, Jacob, um, if there's anyonelistening to this podcast that wants
to get ahold of you and, you know, needyour help, need your expertise, need
(42:09):
your guidance, because clearly, um.
You know, you, you, um, you have abig impact on a lot of people and, and
especially, you know, your niche seems tobe, you know, working with high producing,
uh, you know, high, high, um, yeah.
High producing people, whetherit's pro athletes or, or,
or, or business people that.
(42:29):
Produce at a high level,uh, that comes with stress.
It comes with different, different,uh, challenges versus people that are
operating at an amateur level, right?
Mm-hmm.
How can they get ahold of you?
What's the best way for them toconnect with, uh, Jacob Newton?
Yeah, so you'll, you can find me on,on LinkedIn at just Jacob Newton.
You'll see, you know, my, the,the symbol for my, my business.
Newton's mind.
(42:49):
My slogan is, take back your power,um, on Instagram at newton's mind,
N-E-W-T-O-N-S, mind, MIND 55.
On Facebook just at Jacob Newton.
Um, and yeah, you know, obviouslyright now I'm, I'm primarily
working with, with hockey players,but my guidance is universal.
I could work with anyathlete across any sport.
It doesn't matter because I'mnot, you know, helping them
(43:11):
specifically with their sport.
I'm helping them with the mindset.
And so, um, but even more than that, Ilove working with just everyday people.
Uh, whether that's, you know, highperformance in the sales world or just
people that experience things as as,as, as a child, which again, I did,
I've done a lot of healing around that.
Um, and I'm just super passionate aboutnot trying to just help one person.
I think there's too many peoplesaying, ah, if I could just help one
(43:34):
person, Uhuh, I'm, I'm trying to helpas many people as I possibly can.
Thousands, hundreds of thousands.
So if anybody wants some, some moreclarity on the things we talked about or
wants their to reach out for themselvesor maybe their kids, again, you can
find me on those different platformsand, and I, I'm here to be of service.
So thank you guys for this opportunity.
So good, so good.
I'm grateful for you, Jacob.
(43:54):
I'm grateful, uh, for our friendshipand appreciate you coming on and, and
sharing this valuable information too.
Too many people aren't hearingthis message and, um, you've
articulated it beautifully.
So we appreciate your timecoming on and joining us.
Um, John, I'm grateful foryou as well, my friend.
Love you.
And, um, love you.
Anybody out there connect withJacob, you won't be sorry.
(44:17):
I've worked with him in the past and,uh, looking to work with him in the
future here, and I, I can't wait tosee you in March for the Baker's Cup.
Classic.
I believe it's March20th, I'm not mistaken.
Thursday night, March 20th.
Yeah.
I just talked to Went yesterday.
Yep.
Yep.
In fact, the, um, the playersroster is sold out now.
We have a waiting list,uh, to get on for players.
So, and, and I know we've got, we're,we're hoping that the Road to the
(44:40):
Bankers Cup will be happening again.
And we've got our, our Prime candidate.
We're just waiting to hear backfrom him on if he's gonna join us.
Okay, cool.
You'll love it.
You'll love it.
That's always so fun.
That's always so fun.
We basically grab.
John a a a a person that's reallynever played hockey before or
barely ever been on skates and teachthem how to play hockey with Jake.
(45:00):
Jake actually coaches and teaches themfor about three months before the game, so
by the time they get on the ice, they cankind of, you know, maneuver around a bit,
but they're still new and it's just reallyhilarious watching them fall and, and.
Mary, thank you guys.
(45:21):
Jake, thank you by theway, Jake, and um, yeah.
Thank you guys.
We'll, we'll talk to you guys soon.
Thank you.
See you guys.
Thank you.
That's a wrap for today.
I hope you got somethingvaluable from this episode.
If you did, hit follow andvisit John kitchens.coach for
more ways we can work together.
See you on the next episode.
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