August 11, 2025 • 49 mins
Episode Overview
In this candid, behind-the-scenes conversation, John Kitchens sits down with top-producing agent and entrepreneur Bryan Colquitt to explore what it really takes to design a real estate business—and a life—that align with your deepest priorities. From dismantling a thriving team of nine agents to rebuild as a highly profitable solo agent, Bryan shares why chasing status nearly cost him his freedom, and how clarity, boundaries, and saying “no” reshaped everything.
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to grow bigger, do more, and be everywhere—this episode is your permission slip to step back, get intentional, and build a business that serves your life, not the other way around.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Key #1: Redefining Success
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Why “freedom” beats “status” every time
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How becoming a parent forced Bryan to re-evaluate everything
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The non-negotiables that guide every business decision now
Key #2: Letting Go of the Ego
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How to step away from a big team without burning bridges
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Why comparison is the thief of joy—and how to stop chasing someone else’s dream
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Removing the fear of “what will people think?” when making big changes
Key #3: Lean, Profitable Operations
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Running a high-margin business as a solo agent
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How Bryan’s mornings and evenings are structured for presence at home
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The “main thing” that keeps business moving every day (hint: conversations)
Key #4: Navigating a “Have-To” Market
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Why most real estate decisions right now are emotional, not logical
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How to uncover the real “why” behind a client’s move
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Serving as an advisor—not just a salesperson—even when it means telling clients to wait
Key #5: Trust Over Transactions
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Building long-term relationships through transparency and empathy
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Setting boundaries with clients while elevating the service experience
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How emotional intelligence creates referrals and repeat business in any market
Tools & Resources Mentioned
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Traction by Gino Wickman – for operational clarity
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Coldwell Banker Advantage – Bryan’s brokerage partner
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Sphere & Database Marketing – Bryan’s primary lead source strategy
Final Takeaway
Success isn’t about the size of your team, the number of transactions, or the title on your business card. It’s about designing a business that fuels your perfect day, protects your time, and gives you the freedom to be fully present where it matters most. Bryan Colquitt’s journey proves that stepping back can be the boldest move forward.
“You have to say no to the wrong things so you can say yes to the right life.” – Bryan Colquitt
Connect with Us:
- Instagram: @johnkitchenscoach
- LinkedIn: @johnkitchenscoach
- Facebook: @johnkitchenscoach
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a review. Stay tuned for more insights and strategies from the top minds. See you next time! 🔥
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Seven figure success starts whenyou start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the John Kitchens Coach podcastexperience as your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger andtransform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
(00:21):
How are you doing, sir? Good, man.
Good to see you.
Life.
Life has, uh, life hasaccelerated for you.
Just a, just a little bit.
Yes.
It's a little bit different than, uh,previous, uh, chats we've had for sure.
Yes, yes.
Uh, you know, you go from buildinga house to, uh, you know, now,
now adding two car seats, so Yes.
(00:42):
Yeah.
Life, life does accelerate.
It's, it's wild.
Right?
We, uh.
Was always told, right.
You know, where you're young.
And sometimes the days would seem likethey go on forever and, you know, the
old, the old wise folks would, uh, youknow, chime in and be like, listen,
it just, it only goes faster and.
You know, I, I feel it.
(01:03):
Like sometimes I'll look, I'll justeven like look at the clock and it
feels like the minutes are going fasterand I'm like, what is happening here?
So, yeah.
Well, funny.
Well, look, you gotta remember, I'm stillin that phase right now where it feels
like it's not moving and I keep tellingmyself, we will be out of this phase soon.
Right?
A newborn at home, you feel like it'skind like, man, it's been a, a year now.
You know?
(01:23):
Yeah, yeah.
But again, it's, it's, it's a fun stage.
You just gotta go through it.
Uh, the tough, yeah.
To get to the fun, exciting ones.
So, yeah, I, you know, I missed a lotjust because I, you know, my youngest
one, I think I was, I was 25, 26, 27when I had the two under two as well.
Yeah.
(01:43):
And, and so, you know, there's,there's certain things in
there that I look back now.
And it's just like, dang, you know?
Yeah.
You can't get those times back.
And that's what I always, always pushand, and tell, tell, you know, folks,
especially with, with new kiddos, andI'm like, man, just enjoy it as, as much
(02:03):
as you possibly can because you, it, youwill blink and it, it's, it's, it's over.
Yeah.
Um, and you, you know, it's the.
Crawling into bed with you to, you know,you know, they get to a certain point
then, you know, they're off and they'reliving their own lives and, and so, you
know, like my, you know, my oldest is inGermany about to, you know, get Oh wow.
(02:27):
Get res stationed back to South Korea.
I talk to 'em once or twice a month.
Yep.
Um, and so, you know, it's just whenthey get to that, to that certain
point, so I just, I can't stressit enough to, you know, slow down
and enjoy it as much as you can.
Well, I mean, that's somethingwe definitely, we, we've prided
ourselves on, on doing that.
(02:49):
Right.
Um, you know, and I'm sure we'll getinto it with some of the things we've,
of course adjusted and changed in thebusiness side of things to, to make
sure that, 'cause I saw that, I sawa lot of, you know, other people very
similar to you as, you know, wasn't,I don't say wasn't there as much, but,
you know, that was one thing I just, Ididn't, didn't I of enjoy those moments?
(03:11):
It does go by quick and you see, youknow, I'm an observer of other people
around me, and you're like, man,let me be a little bit different.
Mm-hmm.
And be present and, and enjoy thatearly, those early stages of life.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And, and, um, you know, I meanthat's the whole, you know,
wisdom side of things too, right?
Is just being able to observeand, and, you know, either follow
(03:33):
the path or, or course correct.
From, from that, from that path.
So it's, it's really good.
Um, how's, how's the golf game?
I, I don't know.
I saw somebody, I was actually at thegrocery store the other day and I ran
into an old buddy and he said, he islike, you still playing a lot of golf?
I'm like, uh, I think I, I haveplayed two rounds of golf since
(03:54):
last August in a year, so, yeah.
Yeah, it's same thing.
It's temporary as well.
I was like, it ain't going nowhere.
It, it's, no, it's wild.
As, as long as, you know, you,you and I have been playing.
I mean, it's, it's really oneof those things that like, I, I.
I never really understood.
And you, you, we've, we've heard thestories to where, uh, you know, examples
(04:17):
of, you know, great golfers and you, youlook back in, you know, during World War
II and, and back through history wherethey would, they would, they would go
for, for years, but mentally they kept.
All the moves and playing everythingout in their head, and they
would be able to come right backand almost pick right back up.
Yeah.
Um, without seemingly, you know,obviously a little bit of feel and a
(04:38):
little bit of stuff has to come backin, in time, but the overall full
swing and the mechanics of it, justbecause you've gotten so many reps Yeah.
Um, you know, for you thinking about that.
'cause, uh, this, I, I lovethis conversation when it
comes to visualization because.
Us growing up playing golf, that waskind of the, the first thing, right.
You know, it's like, you know, JackNicholas and then obviously Tiger the same
(05:01):
way is like, you never, you never hit ashot until you can see it in your mind.
Yeah, and I think, I think forme, and, and I'd love to hear your
take on it, so for me, you know.
First picking up a club when I wasseven and like being taught that.
Right.
You know, pick your line, pick yourtarget, set your feet, set your
target, but see it in your mind.
So I didn't know any different.
(05:22):
So that was everything that I alwaysdid, even going through school.
Um, you know, being able to, to gointo jobs and especially like early
on was like working construction.
Doing construction.
Like I could see.
Like a finished productcome, come to life.
Yeah.
So like for you, how has thatplayed, played a role in, you
(05:42):
know, for you with, obviously withthe golf side of things, but also
carrying it over into the business?
Yeah, I mean I think it, itgoes back to, you know, the
visionary, um, role of things.
And I, and, and I agree with you'cause it's funny, you know, bringing
golf into it real quick was that was.
You know, again, haven't played awhole lot, but played for the first
time in little Charity terminalwith some buddies, and it was one
(06:02):
of those things where like, guys, Iain't touched a club in nine months.
It's gonna be ugly.
Right.
When we got done, it was like,man, I felt like I played five
days a week for the last year.
Like it was still, you know, tostep back into it where, you know,
it wasn't pretty, but at the sametime, you're right where I was.
It's just muscle memoryof being able to do it.
Well, I have done it so many times.
Um, but also too, like you said, you'restepping up to it and you're visualizing,
(06:25):
Hey, I've, I've done this shot.
Thousands of times.
Right.
It's just remembering it andbringing those muscles back
into kind of the swing process.
But yeah, I mean, from business, I'vealways been one of those people as well.
I've always said, like I, I like tostep back and I can picture things.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Even for clients and things like that,like going to empty houses and always
joke like, some people go into emptyhouses, man, they can, they step into
(06:45):
an empty room, they cannot envision.
Where would the bed even,or whatever that is, right.
Um, to where I can look at andjust visualize a finished product.
Um, I never really thought about it, howit tied in from where that could have
been from golf and going through that.
I won't say training and coaching growingup, but I, I've always been that way as
well where I've been able to envisionthat, you know, 2, 3, 4 steps ahead.
(07:10):
And I think that's helped me alot on a lot of things as well.
Yeah.
Wife would say that I, youknow, I'm always thinking.
You know, you just slow down andbe in the moment for a second.
I'm like, well, that'sjust, boy, my brain works.
I'm always three, foursteps thinking what's next?
What's next?
Or whatever.
It's, yeah.
Yeah.
Even, you know, on the golf side of thingsis we try to be as present with the shot,
but we're thinking about, you know, where,where, where the pin location is, where
(07:32):
we need to come off the tee to put, giveus our, you know, the highest probability
to put the ball in the best position.
And, and I remember having a,a coach early on that we was.
I mean, that's how he brokedown par fives for us too.
Right?
It's like, listen, like you can't,you gotta gain every par five.
You have to gain a shot.
And so, you know, you gotta set upyour t shot to set up your second
(07:56):
shot to ensure that you're puttingyourself in a, in the best probability
to pick up that, that four worst case.
Five.
But to your point, right?
It's, it's strategicallythinking a couple, a couple
shots ahead and, you know.
Bringing that back into, into thebusiness side of things as well is, is
being able to see that and navigate,especially as we navigate through
(08:17):
seasons of, of the business and, youknow, one heck of an interesting season,
you know, we're all in right now.
Yeah.
You know, how are, how are youlooking at things to, to, to kind
of navigate And, um, I would alsolove, you know, when you get down to.
Just, uh, you, you don't have anexcessive amount of time anymore, right?
(08:38):
You've got the two kiddos, you'vegot the business, you've got, you
know, you know, family obligations,you've got husband obligations.
Um, and so you, you start to cutout what's, what's not necessary.
So like, like for you, how are you kindof seeing and visualizing and navigating
the moves ahead on the business, butbut also with a limited amount of time?
(09:01):
Where are you putting your time andenergy to make sure that the, that
business is still moving forward?
Yeah, I mean, just rewinding a littlebit again, I mean, coming from the
changes that we've done over, youknow, the last couple years going
into being a father and going intohaving our first son Carter, you know,
going from running a team, running thebusiness, you know, independent firm
(09:21):
and things like that, and then just.
Again, it's funny, I've never reallythought about this until you just went
through that last little piece, but youknow, that was what we sort of me, and
when I say we, we, me and Jenny, we kindof sat down and said, Hey, what does, now
that we're right before we had Carter,and once we had Carter, it was like, what?
What do we ideally want our next.
Two years, three years, four years,five years to look like, right?
(09:44):
Yeah.
You know, we had different visions ofeach other, you know, things like that.
And of course my brain is all over theplace at the time of, man, how can I
manage all of what I have right now?
But also going back to being present,being the father and, and the husband.
I wanna be over the next, you know,future basically going forward, you know?
And I think we really steppedback and we've dissected.
(10:05):
What does our day-to-day life look like?
What are the hours we have available?
What's necessary, what's not necessary.
And we made that shift to, you know,once we, a couple months after having
Carter, we made this decision to, Hey,I'm gonna step back from running a team.
And we had the conversation withindividual agents and just said, look, you
know, I'm gonna, we're gonna pull back.
And most of the team went elsewhere, um,through guidance and things like that.
(10:29):
Um, but it was a smart move 'cause itallowed me to step into, back into, hey.
Brian's business.
You, you know, coming back into beinga solo agent, if you wanna call it.
Um, still the CEO of myown personal business.
Sure.
But I'm also very present at homefrom the morning routines to the
evening routines and things like that.
(10:50):
I wanted to be there to beable to help to where it's, you
know, it's not all on Jenny.
Um.
And it's transition to that and, andI think it's one of those things where
we envision in that way, you know, ifit was gonna work out, but here we are.
And it was scary whenwe made those changes.
But it's one of those things that I thinkit was by far the best decision we made.
Talk, talk me through, because I thinkthis is, um, an important get for, for
(11:15):
a lot of folks and how do you kind of goabout navigating, 'cause how many agents
did you, did you guys have before kindof stepping back into just, just you.
Total, including myselfand Jenny and and staff.
We had nine.
Okay.
So talk me through how you go aboutmaking that and unpacking that and
(11:38):
disassembling it the right way.
Like kind of kind of how you wentthrough that, that whole process.
'cause I think it's, is.
This is really important forpeople to understand that.
'cause most never think that,man, the best move is to,
is to unravel all of this.
Yeah.
Um, and so for, yeah, kind of,kind of talk us through that.
I think this is, um,it's really interesting.
(12:00):
Yeah, it's one of those things too.
I mean, as time's going on, you know,I, I've always questioned, you know,
I'm always just who I am, but I'mquestioned did I do it the right way?
Did I make the right decision?
And things like that.
Even though I knew looking atmy life today, I know I did.
Right.
But it was like, couldI done it different?
So when you say like, how it unraveledand I feel like it happened for, for
the people that were involved, I'm surethey felt like it happened like that.
(12:22):
Mm-hmm.
But I, again, I think it was oneof those internally things from.
Myself and Jenny that we had been,you know, on our thought process for
months leading up to it, as far as like,man, do we want to continue or we're
gonna be able to continue doing this.
Right?
And then I think once you know, themoment you hold your first son and you
go through that process and you get'em home and you're doing all those
things, and then I always tell peoplelike the first month of being home, you
(12:46):
know, I really stepped out the businessand when it, and that was playing
the team, do that for those things.
But once I stepped back in, it was like.
I just, there was just thatfeeling like, I can't do this.
I can't continue to be at the levelI wanna be at while also being
this next person I wanna become.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so again, I think I had thatconversation with people and I
think the agents and, and thepeople involved, they understood it.
(13:06):
Mm-hmm.
I still questioned if it was, if itwas presented the right way for myself.
Um, sure.
But at the same time, it, itwas, it was one of those things
where it was a decision thathad to be made in the moment.
Um.
And it did, and I think I just got, itwas a phone call that had individually
and you know, in person stuff like thatwith the, with the individual agents.
And, um, I don't know, like you said,I don't think I un unpacking it.
(13:29):
I think it was one of those thingswhere it was sometimes you gotta
step back and make the decisionthat's best for you and your family.
Right?
Yeah.
And I always tell people, the last twoyears I feel like I've been focused
on, I caught it, you know, inside allfour walls prior to number one, where
in the past it was always, you know.
Hey, let's, let's build the team.
Let's get to here, let's focus ontheir success and things like that.
And then it's, you know, it startsimpacting inside your four walls
(13:53):
and, and everything like that.
So, no, I love it, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
And.
You know, my thought as, as you'rekind of talking through there, I
mean, how much, how much of it didyou like, man, this, this feels right?
Or was it just a lot of, man, Ijust gotta have, I, I gotta have
faith in this, in this process?
(14:14):
It was both, I mean, to be honestwith you really was, it was both.
I mean, I, I remember momentsearly on, 'cause again, I mean,
we're, you know, we're during.
When we made this decision,we're literally in the dead heat
of the first couple months ofhaving our first boy, right?
Yeah.
So it's like you're going throughthat, never had a kid before.
You're going through that wholetransition of just like, how
do we survive life right now?
Are we doing that right?
Things right.
(14:34):
Then also trying to run a business.
Um, and again, like my coming fromagain, the team leader aspect and
the, and the company side whereI'm by far the rain, you know, the
rainmaker, whatever you wanna call it.
Like, I still had my business that Ihad to produce and then also trying
to, you know, bring it in to where.
Make sure I'm there for the agentsand things like that, but also
(14:54):
again, new baby at home, beingpresent for those moments as well.
So, I mean, again, I think it was.
I, I think it was, I had momentsin the beginning where it was
like, is this the right decision?
But I knew that it was right.
Mm-hmm.
My gut told me that it was, and I toldpeople, like, I remember once I had all
the conversations, I met with people.
It was one of those things where it wasjust like, you know, they call it the
(15:16):
weight off your shoulder type thing.
It was like, man, all right.
I did it.
I feel better.
It was a, it was a tough goinginto the whole situation.
Once we had made the decision,this is what we're gonna do, I
dreaded having those conversations.
Sure.
Just 'cause I didn'tknow how it was gonna go.
Um, but once it was done is one ofthe things like, all right, cool.
Right.
I made the decision.
We've had these conversations, let's go.
Right.
Let's move on.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then from that moment it was on,again, my brain internally was right.
(15:40):
We're in a season of life right now.
Where is what's, what's thenext couple moves look like?
What's the next again, two years,five years, 10 years Look like.
I took some time to where thatfirst year of, I, I mean, I
stepped, I stood back a lot.
Right.
But it's also, you know,talking about the, the, the
real estate world and economy.
I also made those changes goinginto what I didn't know was a very
(16:01):
tough real estate market Yeah.
In the world.
Um, so it, but it, it worked out right?
I was still able to, I was stillable to maintain my business,
um, from a production level andprofitability and things like that.
Um, and it just, again, itwas piecing together as like,
what is Brian's next move?
Or going back to being a soleagent, piecing those, you know,
those next moves as far as, youknow, what systems do I need?
(16:24):
What is my, you know, am I gonnahave people around me in the future?
What do those things look like?
Yeah.
So how, you know, when you guys step backand, and make this decision, I mean, how
long are you giving yourself some gracebefore you maybe, you know, step back
in and reevaluate kind of the next move?
Yeah, I mean, where I'm at rightnow, I think we've already had that.
I mean, I think I've made a decisionover the last, you know, once we got
(16:48):
through that one year mark with Carter.
You know, uh, we had been talkingabout it, but it, and when I made the
move, let me just again, back up again.
I was independent brokerage,Coco realtor group.
We ran the, you know, ran it that way.
Um, and then last June, I guess seven,eight months into this change or whatnot.
We partnered and, and Idecided to not be in Vietnam.
(17:10):
One.
We partnered with Coldwell BankerAdvantage in my local town, right?
Um, but that was with the decisionof, again, do I see myself becoming
the independent brokerage owner,being a broker in charge, having those
responsibilities and things like that.
Or do I want to partner where it'ssolo agent Brian, building a business
(17:31):
over again that's profitable, thatallows me to be present at home.
Doing the things I wanna do, butalso make, you know, enjoying
the life that I wanna have.
And I think that's been the focusthat I've, the path of focus
I wanna be on going forward.
Yeah.
I mean, which was big for me.
Which was big for me.
And I, and I'll say that too, 'cause Ialways tell people, and you know this, I
mean, you talked about these things in thepast, I mean, comparison is a thi of joy.
(17:53):
Mm-hmm.
For so long I envisioned, or Isaw other people around me, the
other mentors and stuff like that.
And I was like, man, I wantthe business or whatever.
It's, and I felt like I was chasingthose things, but I was never
like, you know, it was never.
Satisfying when I got to certain levels,and I think now where I look back of like,
I'm now, I feel like I'm in incre actuallycreating the life that I want, right?
(18:15):
As far as like what I, youknow, I, I struggle with the
division for so long, right?
Do I want to have a big team?
I wanna have a small team.
Do I want be this type of agent?
Do I wanna be that type of agent?
Things like that to where I thinknow, allowing myself to step back
from the, the business side ofthings over the last couple years
and come back to being a family man.
Being present at home and just beinga sole agent's allowed me to really
(18:37):
focus in on what is the true vision.
Right.
How did you, so I, I think this is wherea lot of people struggle with, right?
Being able to make that decision.
Was there some, some filters orsome, some like hard non-negotiables
to, to help navigate and, andmake tough, tough decisions like
that for, for you and the family?
(19:00):
I would say, yeah, to an extent.
I mean, number one, formyself, putting the ego aside,
that was a big thing, right?
And that was, you know, we've, Jennyalways told me I was, I was stupid for
having this, you know, negative self-talk.
Self-talk.
But it was one of those things like,man, what are people gonna think?
You know, are people gonna think I didthis because of, you know, we've blah,
blah, blah, whatever it is, right?
Or, you know, we had corporaterealty group and it was my
(19:20):
name and things like that.
Now I'm shutting all that down to become,to become Brian with Coldwell Banker.
All these different things.
Right?
So it was, it was getting, removing theego side of things of Brian and just
saying, Hey, remember what's the, focusingon the vision, focusing on the end goal
of creating a life that I want have.
And being present at home.
So, I mean, I think that would be,that was one of the bigger things of
(19:43):
just like understanding like, hey,there's a reason that we're doing this.
Right.
It's not about, yeah,it's not about money.
I mean, it is of course.
I mean, you gotta make money,you gotta, you know, you gotta
create the life you wanna have.
But, um, it's actuallyopened up more doors.
On that side of things financially,um, by making some of those changes.
But again, I think it's just, it'sremoving the ego, stepping back of, you
(20:04):
know, comparison to the, the thief of joy.
Stop comparing myself to all these peoplethat I think I wanted to be and stuff
like that, because they all have problems.
You know, that.
Mm-hmm.
You know, once you get closer tosome of those circles, you start
to realize, you think that man,their, their life's perfect.
They got all these, youknow, they got everything.
Yeah.
They don't, you know.
Um, again, so I think it was, I thinkjust stepping back, going back into the
(20:27):
envisioning things, I think just step,I stood, stood back and just kind of
thought again, like, am I on the paththat I wanna, is this really my path?
Is this really my vision?
I wanna have?
As far as where we were, likebuilding a team and stuff like that.
And I, and I, and again, I think tothis day I would say, no, I enjoyed it.
I've missed some of those things, butat the same time, happiness and things
like that today versus then tenfold.
(20:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, what, what does.
Real estate look like now.
I mean, what's the kind of the day today, what's working, where's the focus,
like for you and how do you go about, youknow, like I said, making those decisions?
'cause you only have so much time.
Yeah.
And, and really, you know, the thingsthat you're, you're focused on.
That's, that's actually working.
(21:09):
Yeah.
To be honest with you, from that sideof things, it hasn't changed, right?
So I've always been, you know,I came into real estate from,
you know, the corporate world.
Banking.
I always came in from a structurestructured as, you know,
aspect of looking at things.
Um, it's changed a little bit as faras what that day-to-day looked like,
where I used to be, you know, I wantedto get up and, you know, get to the
office early as possible before theother agents got and things like that.
(21:31):
Now my morning routine istotally different, you know?
Yeah.
From six 30 to about eight 30,it's, it's, you know, Carter's
on my, you know, I get Carter upright now, so it's been that way.
It's always the routine.
I get Carter up, we, I fix him, youknow, some milk, get his little,
his cereal, things like that.
And we sit on the couch, wewatch Bluey and, and whatever
he wants to watch that day.
And I'm just present.
Right.
(21:51):
You know, I may have my phone or whatever.
It's like checking, just prepare,prepping for the day or whatever it is.
But again, like that's my,versus in the past it was.
Hey, what calls do I have today?
What meetings do we gotta do?
Am I, am I prepared for thetraining that we're gonna put on?
Whatever those things are.
Now it's like, Hey, this is Carter.
Time is daddy.
You know, daddy.
Daddy time.
But then again, once we go into, it'sstill a structure of trying to get
(22:14):
to the office, trying to set myselfaround appointments, structure my day
properly, and then trying to end itall on the, at the right time as well.
You know, especially again now with havingson number two, it's fresh in baby mode.
It's, you know, being there, gettingready for dinner and all those things.
But from the, you know, the.
The meat of the day from the businessside of things, it really hasn't changed
(22:35):
outside of now it's just, again, it'sBrian, it's, and my, you know, I got
my clients, I got my transactions.
It's the appointments and stillgotta generate leads and have those
calls, have those conversations,do marketing, things like that.
But it's from the morning sideand the evening side that I think
that's where the change was.
'cause pre-kids and it was,alright, I'm at home now.
(22:57):
I finished my appointments.
Now I gotta start planning.
We got a team meeting tomorrowmorning, I gotta prep for that, right?
Yeah.
Or all those things.
Now it's, nope, that's put away.
I'm not really, you know,get it occasional client
calls me or whatever it is.
But I've also had conversations withthem and put those conversations
in place of like, Hey, I'm homeand I may not respond immediately.
(23:17):
And I think that was a tough thing.
You always heard people saythat, but um, again, it's just,
it's setting boundaries around.
The life that I'm currently in.
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
And you know what a what?
A what a relief.
And just thinking through, becauseyou know, I, I, I, I never processed
that way to where you're like,okay, these are non-negotiables.
(23:40):
What, what do I need to say no to sothat I can say yes to the things that
are, that are important for the high.
You know, lifetime value activities, notjust the high, you know, productivity
activities that, that we must, must do.
What, like for you that, that's drivingeverything on the business side.
Like, you know, you have to do this.
(24:03):
Like what, what are, what are the thingsthat has to happen on a day in and day
out basis to keep the business moving?
I mean, it's still mean, it's,uh, conversations, you know,
still gotta talk to people.
I can't sit back and waitfor the phone to ring.
It's still, and again, I think that'swhat I mean, is it had the, it hasn't
changed from the creating businessand managing business side of things.
It's just, it's because I stillmanage my own business when I had
(24:26):
the team, now I'm suddenly eliminatedsome of the other stuff of helping
other agents and things like that.
But from my Brian's personal business,it's been the same since day one.
It's having the conversations,I'm very sphere of influence
circle, database driven, um,referral base and things like that.
I don't, I don't do Zillowand things like that.
Um, so it's still just,it's, Hey, who am I spoke to?
(24:48):
Who's my, who's my touches,who's my check-ins?
And then again, my pending contracts,it's what needs to be accomplished today?
What's my three most important things?
I gotta make sure I check offto prepare for whatever that is.
Um, so like the keeping the main thing,the main thing like that has still been.
It still, it really has tochange on that side of things.
Yeah.
I love it.
Right.
So conversations, I'll sayconversations i'll, I still gotta
(25:10):
speak to people all the time.
Right?
Yeah.
All the time.
And then, you know, just certainaspects and things that kind of fit
your style to be able to lead upto that conversation is, is key.
Yeah.
And you know, try and wewere just, just talking.
Client right before this.
Right.
And just, just little nuance things tobe able to connect with, with people,
(25:31):
um, to always, you know, fine tuningthat that piece that can actually
connect with people that's gonna beable to, to lead to a conversation,
I think is so freaking Yeah.
So key right now.
Yeah.
I think it's just, it's being,it's what's natural to you, right.
And I always say like, I'venever been a salesy person.
(25:52):
Um, and you know, I got.
I also, people, like I alwayssay like real estate isn't,
lemme back up in my viewpoint.
We're not in a sales business,we're in a service business, right?
Servicing your people the rightway and you're gonna create
butt loads of opportunity.
Uh, and I think that's whyI've always ran the business.
It's like, how can I servicepeople for the seasonal life that
(26:12):
they're in as far as their chapter?
Whether it's moving, puttinga house in the market.
Know, I always tell people their, mostclients are, you know, it's going,
they just had a baby or they're goingthrough a divorce, or, Hey, I just
had to put my mom in a nursing home.
Like, those are the things that,like, everybody's in different seasons
and chapters of life when it comesto what we do day in and day out.
Um, yeah, and I think again, it'slike understanding that it's,
(26:34):
it's touching to where like.
Hey, I can have a conversation 10 minutesago with one client that is happy because
they just had their first baby and theywanna get a new home and blah, blah, blah.
And then the very next phone callis, yeah, I gotta deal with the
person who just lost their husband.
Right?
It's like, it's, it's veryemotional and I think you've gotta
learn how to connect with that.
And I think that's somethingthat's always allowed me to do.
(26:56):
Well, people can see, I thinkpeople can see past the, Hey, I'm
just here for the transaction.
The,
I've always, I've never.
I've never really been, I'venever been driven by that.
Right.
It's such a, it's a such a great pointthat you just brought up, and I don't
even know why I didn't even thinkabout this distinction in what you were
(27:18):
talking about because I just, over thelast 18 months, I really believe we've
been in kind of a half two market.
And the really, the, the aspirationaltype market is, it's just not there.
Right.
It's, it's really a, a more of a,of a pain point that you have to do
something type of, type of market.
(27:41):
Um, and we always talk about, youknow, Hey, you wanna be a painkiller,
you don't wanna be a vitamin company.
You wanna solve problems.
And what you just said,I don't even know why.
Just, just, you know, that's whydistinctions are so, so powerful because.
It is such a, I don't wanna sayprobably a desperate, right?
(28:03):
You're looking for moredesperate than motivated.
And though the desperate peopleare the things that they,
they have to do something.
But you said the, you said themagic word that I just, it didn't
connect at all until you justsaid it was, it's all emotional.
Yeah.
Like there's very little logic right now.
(28:25):
We always know people buy onemotion justify with logic, but I
think it's so emotional right now.
Oh yeah.
In, in how everybody's going.
It's amplified even more and youhave to take that in and how are you
managing and creating that experiencebecause it is so emotional for the real
(28:47):
buyers and sellers in today's market.
Um, especially on the selling side, right?
Yeah.
Like.
Um, and, and like I said, especiallyif you're navigating into that
desperate market, because I thinkthat's what we're really looking for.
Because I mean, if they don'thave to, if they're aspirational,
I think they're staying put.
Yeah.
(29:08):
I think it's, it's down to thepoint that you said, right?
Like we're, we're, we're, we're exploding.
If we can't find a house, we're gonna haveto, we're gonna have to add on, right?
We're gonna have to do some,some, some rehab to the house.
We're gonna, we're gonnahave to do something.
Um, obviously on, you know, the, you know,the loss of, you know, a significant,
another something, something happened.
(29:29):
You got kiddos.
I mean, obviously we're going into,um, you know, a new school year.
Maybe they're, you've got some seniorsthat are about to leave the house.
You're about to have some empty nesters,so you've got real emotional triggers
that are happening now more than ever.
Yeah.
Well, and I, and I think,again, go back to the, you
(29:49):
know, call it the COVID market.
I think it was emotional then,but just in a different way.
Right.
Because I think there it was emotionalof the, I don't want to miss out.
Right.
Because it was, you know, theinterest rates are where they are,
and I think we're getting emotionalfrom a. Fear of missing out and you
know, the FOMO side of things oflike, man, I need this as the time.
Anybody else to buying a house right now?
Why not me?
(30:09):
Right?
Or everybody else isselling for top dollar.
I wanna get that one.
Take advantage of that.
But I, you know, I've also came acrosssome people that moved during that, that
transition and of time where they probablyshouldn't have, and they probably, if they
could do it all over again, they would'vestayed where they were stayed put, right?
Yeah.
Stayed put.
Um, from a, from a payment aspect,whatever it is, I just feel like they.
(30:31):
They made some moves beingemotional around what was going
on in the world around us.
Mm-hmm.
Um, which is okay, but at thesame time Yeah, a hundred percent.
I always say that real estate,99% of the time is very emotional.
And again, it's, it's perindividual, every transaction, every.
Every sale is different.
(30:51):
It's just where's that, where areyou connecting with them emotionally?
What's the reason, what's the goal?
No different than what we have as faras the vision of building our business.
There's a goal and there's areason and there's a why as far
as why they're making that move.
Right?
Yeah.
Um, and then really honing inthat comes from the very early
conversations, pieces with them.
It's like honing in on, uncovering that.
It's not just, Hey John,you wanna buy a house?
(31:12):
Great.
Let's go start looking at houses.
Well, let's talk about that.
Let's dig into deeper, likewhat's the reason behind it?
Let's learn about your currentsituation, what you're going through.
And again, sometimes it's isthis is right now the right time.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that's where,again, I've done really well.
And that's coming back to the divisionof who I want to be as a person.
An agent is, an advisor doesn't alwaysadvise people to move right now.
(31:35):
Mm-hmm.
I think sometimes anadvisor's like, Hey, let's.
Pausing where what theconversation right now is.
Okay.
And let's, whether it's save a little bitmore money or wait till the, the market
shifts because of, you know, you, youfinancially, you don't have the funds to,
you know, I would say right now buyers arebuyers right now because of where we are.
(31:56):
They're, you know, move in readyis very top of list for them.
They don't wanna move into it.
They don't want projectsand stuff like that.
Especially for what they're gonna pay.
And I've had some conversationsrecently with some people to where.
It, they don't have the, the funds andthe opportunities to maybe make some
updates to the house or whatever thosethings are to where, and then also they
just can't financially buy right now.
But like sometimes it's having thatconversation like, Hey, let's pause this.
(32:20):
Let's, let's revisit this in two or threemonths and like, set a plan together and.
Versus putting on a market next weekor buying, starting to look at houses.
Let's pause this until we canfigure out A, B and C or whatever.
It's um, yeah, to remove to wherelike, again, I think that's come back
to the emotional side of things whereit's like, man, like, okay, great.
I went into this thinking thatit was a very dire need for me to
(32:42):
make this move right now becauseof whatever the reason was, but.
Calming my emotions down a little bit andunderstanding, and them stepping back and
seeing, all right, what's the better mood?
What's a better chess piece?
What does that look like?
And I think that's helps, again,eliminate some of the emotions
side of things for clients.
Again, it's just the way I, I, I feellike I process things Yeah, sometimes
(33:04):
and just try to connect with the peopleas an individual, um, and, and just
kind of lead them in that direction.
But I think emotional, emotionaldecisions is a big factor.
Day in, day out of this business.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I, yeah, I, so it's so good.
And I, I think, you know,for, for, for agents and for
(33:26):
just people in general, right.
You know, just that, that level of, ofemotional intelligence to really just to
be able to sit and, and, and listen, youknow, ask questions and listen to really
what they're saying and what they're,what they're wanting to, to accomplish.
Like you said, you know, be willingto tell 'em what they need to
hear, not what they want to hear.
(33:47):
And that's gonna just serve youat such a, such a high level.
And, you know, people,people appreciate that.
Right.
Well, I'll say we're, we're in thetrust building business, right?
And a lot of companies, you know, alot of industries are, but in real
estate, for us, it's like there'sso many of us out there that try
to sell houses and real estate.
It's like, who do I go with or whatever?
Who do I trust to handle this biginvestment in this financial decision?
(34:11):
I think the people that go about it,I don't, again, I don't wanna say
wrong 'cause I understand there'sdifferent business philosophies and
ways to, you know, get, but again,like me personally, I've never been,
it, it just comes out unnatural ifI'm going into that conversation.
Like kind of pushing to the sidethat, hey, I, I, you know, man,
your mom's, you gotta put yourmom in a nursing home, right?
(34:32):
Yeah.
I mean, just, alright.
And then pushing that to the side andjust going straight to, alright, well
let's talk about your house on the market.
Let's pause over here and let's hone in.
Like tell me a little bit about likewhat's that been like, where's she at?
What's, what's the reason of that?
You know, how long has her health and theclient like having those conversations?
So many people in this business,I don't know why either, they just
(34:52):
don't feel comfortable, they don'tknow how to ask those questions.
They don't know how to connect witha person as an individual, and.
Go deeper in their relationship withthose people and they, they wanna
keep it so surface level, level andbusiness only, or whatever it is.
And I think, to me, I think that,again, coming back to building those
relationships, I'm always the personthat's gonna go, Hey, let's, let's,
we'll talk real estate here in asecond, but let's talk about again,
(35:16):
whatever the decision is and the reasonwhy we're making this move and why
we're here today, let's focus on that.
Yeah.
And, and even that, that'sreminding them, it's, it's.
'cause again, it's the why.
It's mm-hmm.
You know, so when you're two monthsinto the process and they're emotionally
frustrated 'cause maybe the house isn'ton the market or they haven't found
the house they want to, it's bringingthem back into, Hey, look, remember
(35:37):
this is, it's part of the process.
What's the why?
What, what, what's the end goal?
What are we trying to get to?
Right.
Um, to where it's just, it's, that'sthe trust factor that we try to build.
Yeah.
That's so good.
Right?
And, and, and that just is, tome, trust is just transparency,
authenticity, being a genuine, caringhuman being, time, time's time.
(36:01):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
It takes, it takes time to really build,to build that trust in the marketplace,
especially when it's so freaking noisy.
When you know everybody's, you know,most agents need to sell, sell a
house more than the buyer or seller.
Yeah, needs to either sell or buy.
And that desperation definitely, you know,can come across and it's icky and gross.
(36:23):
And so really just genuinely caringabout, you know, another human
being and, and getting clear onwhat is the situation, what are,
what are they trying to accomplish?
And then determining is that somebodythat you can help or, or not.
Um, I think is, isreally, really important.
Yep.
I agree.
(36:44):
So for, for you, you know, kind of whereyou, you know, you're at stage, I mean,
what are, what are you excited aboutmoving into this last part of the year?
Oh.
Business wise.
I mean, just continuing on the gr the,the growth and their, I'll say the
re the rebuilding of, of my business.
(37:07):
Um, yeah, I think I've,I've been, it was funny.
It was funny.
We laughed about, you know, had we wentthrough all the transitions that we had,
Carter did all this changes we alreadytalked about and it's like, alright great,
we're getting our feet settled business.
I got, I'm right there and I'm bam.
Alright.
Right?
Yeah.
So then it's like, alright,let's, let's transition, let's
back up a little bit again.
(37:28):
Let's start over.
But again, it's allowed me todig deeper and evaluate Yeah.
Even more of that vision.
Um, but again, I think now that we'retransitioning out of, you know, two
months, two months into, you know,boy number two, uh, but learning
that, you know, life is different now.
Life is totally differentwith two over one.
(37:49):
Uh, so I've had to trans, you know, makesome of those changes as far as the daily
routine and stuff like that goes as well.
Um, but I, I think that's the mostexciting thing is knowing that
I can visualize and I can see the.
So much clearer now, the person thatI wanted to become versus than I,
(38:09):
that I did three or four years ago.
Right.
Yeah.
And again, we, we've talked aboutthis, I think, you know, through all
the coaching things, I mean, you'vebeen on and, and I all, you know,
people say like, what's your vision?
I always struggle.
I don't know.
How do you uncover it?
What do you ask?
Am I asking the wrong questions?
Like, I don't know.
Is there a, is there a toolor a process I can go through?
Like, I don't know.
(38:29):
I, I, there's so many differentones I have, but I think now it's,
it's Is it 100% crystal clear?
No, but it's way clearerthan it was, yeah.
Three, four years ago.
And I think that's the exciting part.
It's a work in progress.
Right.
And you know, when Yeah.
You, you, you have a significant other.
(38:49):
Okay.
Starts to, but when you got a,a, a little human being that's
a part of you that Oh, yeah.
Tends to, that tends tohelp kind of start to.
Shape what you want the futureto look like because you're,
like I said, you're, you're notthinking about just you anymore.
Yeah.
And, and even when you, you know, you havea significant other, you get married, it's
(39:12):
still not all you, but it's still more youthan, than, than just them because it's,
it's hard to just be unconditionally just.
100%. You know, selfish, it's,you know, I really subscribed.
You gotta be, uh, or selfless.
I, I I I, I kind of fall into theMcConaughey camp that you've gotta be a
(39:37):
little selfish so you can be selfless.
Mm-hmm.
But when you got the, when you gotthe little ones that really does, um,
it, it, it really does start to, tomake you think, um, differently and.
And, and I, I think even more sowhen you get a little bit older
and you start to like, ah, damn.
(39:59):
Right?
And, and so being able to, to help youknow what you want that to look like.
And, and that's why Idefault back to it, man.
I, I, I default back to, you know,October was 20 years, um, since kinder
and I got together and I, I, I reallyreflected coming into this new year.
(40:21):
If I was to coach us 27, 20 8-year-oldknuckleheads, how I would've coached
us, knowing what I know now, and I, Iwould've coached us on, you know, stop
being hung up on, on chasing status.
'cause we wanted to be number one so bad.
(40:42):
Um, just the competitiveness in us andthe things that at that age we felt like
we wanted to prove something and we hada, you know, a top 10 team for re max on
the planet that we went head to head with.
And so what I would've pushed backon us would've been, listen, you
know, there's, there's layers, right?
(41:04):
And of course you havesurvival, then you have status.
Get your butts outtastatus and get to freedom.
What does freedom really look like?
And what I, you know, would,would we be sitting here?
Probably not if wewould've pursued freedom.
Um, so I'm grateful everythinghas happened the way it's
(41:26):
happened, but I know what it'll.
It'll course it, like, it'll, it'llset you back decades if you're
not chasing the right objective.
If you're not chasing the right,the right, you know, destination.
And the destination has to be freedom.
Um, obviously there's, there's, there's,there's another level above that, which is
legacy, but you've gotta get to freedom.
(41:49):
And, you know, mydefinition is perfect day.
Are you, are you moving closerto living your perfect day?
Um, you know who you're wakingup with, the conversations you're
having, the lunch, the work you'redoing, who you're helping, like you
said, that morning, that evening,you know, the, those, those rituals.
(42:10):
And then it's, are we creatingrevenue streams to where we're
not trading time for dollarsbecause it's the combination of.
The, the amount of income neededto live the life you want, which is
the day, the perfect day scenario.
(42:30):
So I think it's, it's a combinationof those things and that's
where I would've coached us.
Um, and not chasing things tochase things or, because that's
how, you know, you want to emulatesomebody else that you think, right?
It has it all together, butas, as we know, you know,
nobody has it all together.
So I think it's, um, I think it's justa combination of those things, man,
(42:53):
and, and, um, you know, kind of whereyou're at in the season, you know,
kudos, kudos to you for, you know, nottrying to muscle through because of ego.
And really recalibrating and, and,and having the tough conversation
of like, what is the goal?
Like what is the real goal thatwe're wanting to accomplish?
And then what are all the ways toget there that we're not willing,
(43:15):
you know, what are the hard nos thatwe're not willing to, to exchange?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And again, I mean, you, you mentionedin the past, I mean, it's, it's
the thousand foot view, right?
It's, and it's going back to therelationship, relationship side of things.
You, you know, the comparisonof the joy side of things.
It's, it's, once I've built theserelationships with some people and
I still love 'em to death, right?
(43:35):
And I still put it, it's, youstart uncovering, you're like,
man, this is where I want to be.
And you start realizing like they're,they're not where they want to be.
They're, you know, they're stillchasing things and they're still
trying to cover is this really whatthey wanna do and things like that.
Um, but for me it's, right, itwas stepping back and saying
that like, this can't be.
(43:57):
This can't be the next 10 years,this can't be the next 20 years.
This can't be what I'm chasingthe arena running the rabbit
wheel of just life, right?
Yeah.
It's gotta, you've gotta stepback and just say, alright, what,
and who am I doing this for?
Um, and for me, again, I think I,I, the comparison side of things
and the status to where I was, thesame thing I wanted to be known of.
(44:19):
Like, Hey, I'm, you know, we're,we're building this brand or whatever
it is, and it, all of it, at theend of the day, doesn't matter.
You know, year over year, the, the,the days change, and me and you see it,
there's, we, there's some, and withinour industry alone, there's so many, you
know, top agents and teams that it's, theyreach this status and then all great, I
reached this level, and then what, right?
(44:40):
Mm-hmm.
Using a golf analogy.
You, you probably recently see this.
Look at Scotty Scheffler.
He, he got cooled for the things herecently came out and said, because
he's like, man, you re you trainyour entire life day in and day out
to be the best golfer in the world.
You win the biggest golf tournament in theworld and you're like, is this all it is?
You know?
Yeah.
And, and people were like, man, like howare you not satisfied, but he's right.
(45:04):
Like, you reach that and you're like,man, he enjoyed for five minutes.
Then it's like, alright, what's next?
Yeah.
Right.
And it's just starting over again.
It's, it's the process that he's,he basically came out, said he
enjoys, that's not what he is.
That's not what he defines as success.
It's the process.
The day in and day out of that.
He phones that.
Yeah.
That he's found that he enjoys.
Right.
Yeah.
(45:24):
And for me, I thought it was, Hey,we gotta be number one in our market,
or we gotta do, we gotta get to Xnumber of transactions this year,
or we gotta make this much profit.
Whatever.
Those things, and like you getto certain different levels,
you're like, all right, maybe.
Maybe it's more, maybe maybe I need todo, let me add another million to that.
Mm-hmm.
It's just continuing the cycleof like, man, this isn't it.
(45:46):
Um, and then the funny thing is like,now that I've stepped back to all those
things and I look back of making all thechanges, like not getting to too deep
financially, but like that side of thingsis drastically improved by just stepping
back and eliminating some of the thingsthat, like you said, that you don't need.
The things I'm now saying no to so muchthat I used to say yes to, just because
(46:08):
I wanted to, like it used to help.
I thought it would help me catapultto higher and bigger statuses, saying
no to those things all the time now.
Um, and keeping focus on the goal, right?
The vision.
Yeah.
And I think it's just allowed,it's just freedom, freedom,
freedom from the, from themental side of things as well.
(46:31):
Right.
To, it's not, I'm notchasing John Kitchens.
It's not chasing, you know, whoever itis, it's, it's within all four walls.
Right.
Are we closer to that perfectday, like you mentioned?
Mm-hmm.
Am I there yet?
No, but I got a long way to go.
Yes.
But at the same time.
But that picture, that perfectday, so much more clear.
(46:53):
And I think to me, that'sthe most important thing.
Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta go througha little trial and error to
get there, but you know, like.
Scotty was was saying isjust, man, it's, it's loving.
We, we've heard it, right.
It's falling in love with theprocess, but I think it's also
having faith in the process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(47:13):
It is and knowing that, knowing thatthe work is, is the work that he is
putting in is generating the success.
Yeah.
I mean we, you know, just, justuncovering it so much more.
When you study, you studythat greatness, right?
You look at mj, you look at Kobe, youknow, even, even freaking tiger, right?
Like just that work right to where whenyou get in the competition, it's easy.
(47:35):
And I just remember when I, whenI did my first Ironman like.
The, the actual event was fun.
Yeah.
But what sucked was every day oftraining e every run, every swim.
It's just like, you know, us, us growingup playing golf, I mean, you just had
to fall in love with hitting balls.
You just had to fall in love withthe hours on the putting green.
(47:57):
You just, you know, hours in the bunkersand just, you know, as much as like, I
hated it, but you just, you had to, youjust had to like, God, this is the work.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, so good.
I love brother.
I, uh, man, I'm happy for you and,you know, making tough decisions.
That's an alignment to a betterlife that's leading you closer
(48:20):
to, you know, that perfect day.
Most people won't.
You know, feel like they're, they're,they're taking a couple steps back to
be able to take those 10 steps forward.
But it, it, it is, youknow, always the right move.
And I, I mean, I've experienced it.
I've seen it.
And so kudos to you for being able to.
(48:41):
Letting the ego aside, right?
It's the whole outcome over ego.
It's about getting to rightinstead of being right.
And well, it's easy in concept,but it's such hard and, you know,
in practice to be able to do so.
Kudos to you, man.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You got it brother.
Well, appreciate it.
Um, you guys listening in, connectwith Brian, uh, give him some love
(49:02):
and, uh, man, let's, uh, let'sfigure out how we can get our
butts back out on the golf course.
Pretty soon.
Yeah.
I keep telling people I'mworking on my handicap, man.
I need shops next time we play.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes.
I hear you.
Alright, awesome.
Alright.
Thanks brother.
Thanks guys.
See you.
See you.
Thanks for tuning in.
If you're done guessing and ready tolead like a real CEO with a custom
(49:24):
strategy, real accountability andproven systems, check out my executive
one-on-one coaching@johnkitchens.coach.
Fill out the application and bookyour one-on-one call with me.
Be sure to hit follow soyou never miss an episode.
Catch you on the next one.
Seven figure success starts whenyou start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the John Kitchens Coach podcastexperience as your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger andtransform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
(00:21):
How are you doing, sir? Good, man.
Good to see you.
Life.
Life has, uh, life hasaccelerated for you.
Just a, just a little bit.
Yes.
It's a little bit different than, uh,previous, uh, chats we've had for sure.
Yes, yes.
Uh, you know, you go from buildinga house to, uh, you know, now,
now adding two car seats, so Yes.
(00:42):
Yeah.
Life, life does accelerate.
It's, it's wild.
Right?
We, uh.
Was always told, right.
You know, where you're young.
And sometimes the days would seem likethey go on forever and, you know, the
old, the old wise folks would, uh, youknow, chime in and be like, listen,
it just, it only goes faster and.
You know, I, I feel it.
(01:03):
Like sometimes I'll look, I'll justeven like look at the clock and it
feels like the minutes are going fasterand I'm like, what is happening here?
So, yeah.
Well, funny.
Well, look, you gotta remember, I'm stillin that phase right now where it feels
like it's not moving and I keep tellingmyself, we will be out of this phase soon.
Right?
A newborn at home, you feel like it'skind like, man, it's been a, a year now.
You know?
(01:23):
Yeah, yeah.
But again, it's, it's, it's a fun stage.
You just gotta go through it.
Uh, the tough, yeah.
To get to the fun, exciting ones.
So, yeah, I, you know, I missed a lotjust because I, you know, my youngest
one, I think I was, I was 25, 26, 27when I had the two under two as well.
Yeah.
(01:43):
And, and so, you know, there's,there's certain things in
there that I look back now.
And it's just like, dang, you know?
Yeah.
You can't get those times back.
And that's what I always, always pushand, and tell, tell, you know, folks,
especially with, with new kiddos, andI'm like, man, just enjoy it as, as much
(02:03):
as you possibly can because you, it, youwill blink and it, it's, it's, it's over.
Yeah.
Um, and you, you know, it's the.
Crawling into bed with you to, you know,you know, they get to a certain point
then, you know, they're off and they'reliving their own lives and, and so, you
know, like my, you know, my oldest is inGermany about to, you know, get Oh wow.
(02:27):
Get res stationed back to South Korea.
I talk to 'em once or twice a month.
Yep.
Um, and so, you know, it's just whenthey get to that, to that certain
point, so I just, I can't stressit enough to, you know, slow down
and enjoy it as much as you can.
Well, I mean, that's somethingwe definitely, we, we've prided
ourselves on, on doing that.
(02:49):
Right.
Um, you know, and I'm sure we'll getinto it with some of the things we've,
of course adjusted and changed in thebusiness side of things to, to make
sure that, 'cause I saw that, I sawa lot of, you know, other people very
similar to you as, you know, wasn't,I don't say wasn't there as much, but,
you know, that was one thing I just, Ididn't, didn't I of enjoy those moments?
(03:11):
It does go by quick and you see, youknow, I'm an observer of other people
around me, and you're like, man,let me be a little bit different.
Mm-hmm.
And be present and, and enjoy thatearly, those early stages of life.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And, and, um, you know, I meanthat's the whole, you know,
wisdom side of things too, right?
Is just being able to observeand, and, you know, either follow
(03:33):
the path or, or course correct.
From, from that, from that path.
So it's, it's really good.
Um, how's, how's the golf game?
I, I don't know.
I saw somebody, I was actually at thegrocery store the other day and I ran
into an old buddy and he said, he islike, you still playing a lot of golf?
I'm like, uh, I think I, I haveplayed two rounds of golf since
(03:54):
last August in a year, so, yeah.
Yeah, it's same thing.
It's temporary as well.
I was like, it ain't going nowhere.
It, it's, no, it's wild.
As, as long as, you know, you,you and I have been playing.
I mean, it's, it's really oneof those things that like, I, I.
I never really understood.
And you, you, we've, we've heard thestories to where, uh, you know, examples
(04:17):
of, you know, great golfers and you, youlook back in, you know, during World War
II and, and back through history wherethey would, they would, they would go
for, for years, but mentally they kept.
All the moves and playing everythingout in their head, and they
would be able to come right backand almost pick right back up.
Yeah.
Um, without seemingly, you know,obviously a little bit of feel and a
(04:38):
little bit of stuff has to come backin, in time, but the overall full
swing and the mechanics of it, justbecause you've gotten so many reps Yeah.
Um, you know, for you thinking about that.
'cause, uh, this, I, I lovethis conversation when it
comes to visualization because.
Us growing up playing golf, that waskind of the, the first thing, right.
You know, it's like, you know, JackNicholas and then obviously Tiger the same
(05:01):
way is like, you never, you never hit ashot until you can see it in your mind.
Yeah, and I think, I think forme, and, and I'd love to hear your
take on it, so for me, you know.
First picking up a club when I wasseven and like being taught that.
Right.
You know, pick your line, pick yourtarget, set your feet, set your
target, but see it in your mind.
So I didn't know any different.
(05:22):
So that was everything that I alwaysdid, even going through school.
Um, you know, being able to, to gointo jobs and especially like early
on was like working construction.
Doing construction.
Like I could see.
Like a finished productcome, come to life.
Yeah.
So like for you, how has thatplayed, played a role in, you
(05:42):
know, for you with, obviously withthe golf side of things, but also
carrying it over into the business?
Yeah, I mean I think it, itgoes back to, you know, the
visionary, um, role of things.
And I, and, and I agree with you'cause it's funny, you know, bringing
golf into it real quick was that was.
You know, again, haven't played awhole lot, but played for the first
time in little Charity terminalwith some buddies, and it was one
(06:02):
of those things where like, guys, Iain't touched a club in nine months.
It's gonna be ugly.
Right.
When we got done, it was like,man, I felt like I played five
days a week for the last year.
Like it was still, you know, tostep back into it where, you know,
it wasn't pretty, but at the sametime, you're right where I was.
It's just muscle memoryof being able to do it.
Well, I have done it so many times.
Um, but also too, like you said, you'restepping up to it and you're visualizing,
(06:25):
Hey, I've, I've done this shot.
Thousands of times.
Right.
It's just remembering it andbringing those muscles back
into kind of the swing process.
But yeah, I mean, from business, I'vealways been one of those people as well.
I've always said, like I, I like tostep back and I can picture things.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Even for clients and things like that,like going to empty houses and always
joke like, some people go into emptyhouses, man, they can, they step into
(06:45):
an empty room, they cannot envision.
Where would the bed even,or whatever that is, right.
Um, to where I can look at andjust visualize a finished product.
Um, I never really thought about it, howit tied in from where that could have
been from golf and going through that.
I won't say training and coaching growingup, but I, I've always been that way as
well where I've been able to envisionthat, you know, 2, 3, 4 steps ahead.
(07:10):
And I think that's helped me alot on a lot of things as well.
Yeah.
Wife would say that I, youknow, I'm always thinking.
You know, you just slow down andbe in the moment for a second.
I'm like, well, that'sjust, boy, my brain works.
I'm always three, foursteps thinking what's next?
What's next?
Or whatever.
It's, yeah.
Yeah.
Even, you know, on the golf side of thingsis we try to be as present with the shot,
but we're thinking about, you know, where,where, where the pin location is, where
(07:32):
we need to come off the tee to put, giveus our, you know, the highest probability
to put the ball in the best position.
And, and I remember having a,a coach early on that we was.
I mean, that's how he brokedown par fives for us too.
Right?
It's like, listen, like you can't,you gotta gain every par five.
You have to gain a shot.
And so, you know, you gotta set upyour t shot to set up your second
(07:56):
shot to ensure that you're puttingyourself in a, in the best probability
to pick up that, that four worst case.
Five.
But to your point, right?
It's, it's strategicallythinking a couple, a couple
shots ahead and, you know.
Bringing that back into, into thebusiness side of things as well is, is
being able to see that and navigate,especially as we navigate through
(08:17):
seasons of, of the business and, youknow, one heck of an interesting season,
you know, we're all in right now.
Yeah.
You know, how are, how are youlooking at things to, to, to kind
of navigate And, um, I would alsolove, you know, when you get down to.
Just, uh, you, you don't have anexcessive amount of time anymore, right?
(08:38):
You've got the two kiddos, you'vegot the business, you've got, you
know, you know, family obligations,you've got husband obligations.
Um, and so you, you start to cutout what's, what's not necessary.
So like, like for you, how are you kindof seeing and visualizing and navigating
the moves ahead on the business, butbut also with a limited amount of time?
(09:01):
Where are you putting your time andenergy to make sure that the, that
business is still moving forward?
Yeah, I mean, just rewinding a littlebit again, I mean, coming from the
changes that we've done over, youknow, the last couple years going
into being a father and going intohaving our first son Carter, you know,
going from running a team, running thebusiness, you know, independent firm
(09:21):
and things like that, and then just.
Again, it's funny, I've never reallythought about this until you just went
through that last little piece, but youknow, that was what we sort of me, and
when I say we, we, me and Jenny, we kindof sat down and said, Hey, what does, now
that we're right before we had Carter,and once we had Carter, it was like, what?
What do we ideally want our next.
Two years, three years, four years,five years to look like, right?
(09:44):
Yeah.
You know, we had different visions ofeach other, you know, things like that.
And of course my brain is all over theplace at the time of, man, how can I
manage all of what I have right now?
But also going back to being present,being the father and, and the husband.
I wanna be over the next, you know,future basically going forward, you know?
And I think we really steppedback and we've dissected.
(10:05):
What does our day-to-day life look like?
What are the hours we have available?
What's necessary, what's not necessary.
And we made that shift to, you know,once we, a couple months after having
Carter, we made this decision to, Hey,I'm gonna step back from running a team.
And we had the conversation withindividual agents and just said, look, you
know, I'm gonna, we're gonna pull back.
And most of the team went elsewhere, um,through guidance and things like that.
(10:29):
Um, but it was a smart move 'cause itallowed me to step into, back into, hey.
Brian's business.
You, you know, coming back into beinga solo agent, if you wanna call it.
Um, still the CEO of myown personal business.
Sure.
But I'm also very present at homefrom the morning routines to the
evening routines and things like that.
(10:50):
I wanted to be there to beable to help to where it's, you
know, it's not all on Jenny.
Um.
And it's transition to that and, andI think it's one of those things where
we envision in that way, you know, ifit was gonna work out, but here we are.
And it was scary whenwe made those changes.
But it's one of those things that I thinkit was by far the best decision we made.
Talk, talk me through, because I thinkthis is, um, an important get for, for
(11:15):
a lot of folks and how do you kind of goabout navigating, 'cause how many agents
did you, did you guys have before kindof stepping back into just, just you.
Total, including myselfand Jenny and and staff.
We had nine.
Okay.
So talk me through how you go aboutmaking that and unpacking that and
(11:38):
disassembling it the right way.
Like kind of kind of how you wentthrough that, that whole process.
'cause I think it's, is.
This is really important forpeople to understand that.
'cause most never think that,man, the best move is to,
is to unravel all of this.
Yeah.
Um, and so for, yeah, kind of,kind of talk us through that.
I think this is, um,it's really interesting.
(12:00):
Yeah, it's one of those things too.
I mean, as time's going on, you know,I, I've always questioned, you know,
I'm always just who I am, but I'mquestioned did I do it the right way?
Did I make the right decision?
And things like that.
Even though I knew looking atmy life today, I know I did.
Right.
But it was like, couldI done it different?
So when you say like, how it unraveledand I feel like it happened for, for
the people that were involved, I'm surethey felt like it happened like that.
(12:22):
Mm-hmm.
But I, again, I think it was oneof those internally things from.
Myself and Jenny that we had been,you know, on our thought process for
months leading up to it, as far as like,man, do we want to continue or we're
gonna be able to continue doing this.
Right?
And then I think once you know, themoment you hold your first son and you
go through that process and you get'em home and you're doing all those
things, and then I always tell peoplelike the first month of being home, you
(12:46):
know, I really stepped out the businessand when it, and that was playing
the team, do that for those things.
But once I stepped back in, it was like.
I just, there was just thatfeeling like, I can't do this.
I can't continue to be at the levelI wanna be at while also being
this next person I wanna become.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so again, I think I had thatconversation with people and I
think the agents and, and thepeople involved, they understood it.
(13:06):
Mm-hmm.
I still questioned if it was, if itwas presented the right way for myself.
Um, sure.
But at the same time, it, itwas, it was one of those things
where it was a decision thathad to be made in the moment.
Um.
And it did, and I think I just got, itwas a phone call that had individually
and you know, in person stuff like thatwith the, with the individual agents.
And, um, I don't know, like you said,I don't think I un unpacking it.
(13:29):
I think it was one of those thingswhere it was sometimes you gotta
step back and make the decisionthat's best for you and your family.
Right?
Yeah.
And I always tell people, the last twoyears I feel like I've been focused
on, I caught it, you know, inside allfour walls prior to number one, where
in the past it was always, you know.
Hey, let's, let's build the team.
Let's get to here, let's focus ontheir success and things like that.
And then it's, you know, it startsimpacting inside your four walls
(13:53):
and, and everything like that.
So, no, I love it, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
And.
You know, my thought as, as you'rekind of talking through there, I
mean, how much, how much of it didyou like, man, this, this feels right?
Or was it just a lot of, man, Ijust gotta have, I, I gotta have
faith in this, in this process?
(14:14):
It was both, I mean, to be honestwith you really was, it was both.
I mean, I, I remember momentsearly on, 'cause again, I mean,
we're, you know, we're during.
When we made this decision,we're literally in the dead heat
of the first couple months ofhaving our first boy, right?
Yeah.
So it's like you're going throughthat, never had a kid before.
You're going through that wholetransition of just like, how
do we survive life right now?
Are we doing that right?
Things right.
(14:34):
Then also trying to run a business.
Um, and again, like my coming fromagain, the team leader aspect and
the, and the company side whereI'm by far the rain, you know, the
rainmaker, whatever you wanna call it.
Like, I still had my business that Ihad to produce and then also trying
to, you know, bring it in to where.
Make sure I'm there for the agentsand things like that, but also
(14:54):
again, new baby at home, beingpresent for those moments as well.
So, I mean, again, I think it was.
I, I think it was, I had momentsin the beginning where it was
like, is this the right decision?
But I knew that it was right.
Mm-hmm.
My gut told me that it was, and I toldpeople, like, I remember once I had all
the conversations, I met with people.
It was one of those things where it wasjust like, you know, they call it the
(15:16):
weight off your shoulder type thing.
It was like, man, all right.
I did it.
I feel better.
It was a, it was a tough goinginto the whole situation.
Once we had made the decision,this is what we're gonna do, I
dreaded having those conversations.
Sure.
Just 'cause I didn'tknow how it was gonna go.
Um, but once it was done is one ofthe things like, all right, cool.
Right.
I made the decision.
We've had these conversations, let's go.
Right.
Let's move on.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then from that moment it was on,again, my brain internally was right.
(15:40):
We're in a season of life right now.
Where is what's, what's thenext couple moves look like?
What's the next again, two years,five years, 10 years Look like.
I took some time to where thatfirst year of, I, I mean, I
stepped, I stood back a lot.
Right.
But it's also, you know,talking about the, the, the
real estate world and economy.
I also made those changes goinginto what I didn't know was a very
(16:01):
tough real estate market Yeah.
In the world.
Um, so it, but it, it worked out right?
I was still able to, I was stillable to maintain my business,
um, from a production level andprofitability and things like that.
Um, and it just, again, itwas piecing together as like,
what is Brian's next move?
Or going back to being a soleagent, piecing those, you know,
those next moves as far as, youknow, what systems do I need?
(16:24):
What is my, you know, am I gonnahave people around me in the future?
What do those things look like?
Yeah.
So how, you know, when you guys step backand, and make this decision, I mean, how
long are you giving yourself some gracebefore you maybe, you know, step back
in and reevaluate kind of the next move?
Yeah, I mean, where I'm at rightnow, I think we've already had that.
I mean, I think I've made a decisionover the last, you know, once we got
(16:48):
through that one year mark with Carter.
You know, uh, we had been talkingabout it, but it, and when I made the
move, let me just again, back up again.
I was independent brokerage,Coco realtor group.
We ran the, you know, ran it that way.
Um, and then last June, I guess seven,eight months into this change or whatnot.
We partnered and, and Idecided to not be in Vietnam.
(17:10):
One.
We partnered with Coldwell BankerAdvantage in my local town, right?
Um, but that was with the decisionof, again, do I see myself becoming
the independent brokerage owner,being a broker in charge, having those
responsibilities and things like that.
Or do I want to partner where it'ssolo agent Brian, building a business
(17:31):
over again that's profitable, thatallows me to be present at home.
Doing the things I wanna do, butalso make, you know, enjoying
the life that I wanna have.
And I think that's been the focusthat I've, the path of focus
I wanna be on going forward.
Yeah.
I mean, which was big for me.
Which was big for me.
And I, and I'll say that too, 'cause Ialways tell people, and you know this, I
mean, you talked about these things in thepast, I mean, comparison is a thi of joy.
(17:53):
Mm-hmm.
For so long I envisioned, or Isaw other people around me, the
other mentors and stuff like that.
And I was like, man, I wantthe business or whatever.
It's, and I felt like I was chasingthose things, but I was never
like, you know, it was never.
Satisfying when I got to certain levels,and I think now where I look back of like,
I'm now, I feel like I'm in incre actuallycreating the life that I want, right?
(18:15):
As far as like what I, youknow, I, I struggle with the
division for so long, right?
Do I want to have a big team?
I wanna have a small team.
Do I want be this type of agent?
Do I wanna be that type of agent?
Things like that to where I thinknow, allowing myself to step back
from the, the business side ofthings over the last couple years
and come back to being a family man.
Being present at home and just beinga sole agent's allowed me to really
(18:37):
focus in on what is the true vision.
Right.
How did you, so I, I think this is wherea lot of people struggle with, right?
Being able to make that decision.
Was there some, some filters orsome, some like hard non-negotiables
to, to help navigate and, andmake tough, tough decisions like
that for, for you and the family?
(19:00):
I would say, yeah, to an extent.
I mean, number one, formyself, putting the ego aside,
that was a big thing, right?
And that was, you know, we've, Jennyalways told me I was, I was stupid for
having this, you know, negative self-talk.
Self-talk.
But it was one of those things like,man, what are people gonna think?
You know, are people gonna think I didthis because of, you know, we've blah,
blah, blah, whatever it is, right?
Or, you know, we had corporaterealty group and it was my
(19:20):
name and things like that.
Now I'm shutting all that down to become,to become Brian with Coldwell Banker.
All these different things.
Right?
So it was, it was getting, removing theego side of things of Brian and just
saying, Hey, remember what's the, focusingon the vision, focusing on the end goal
of creating a life that I want have.
And being present at home.
So, I mean, I think that would be,that was one of the bigger things of
(19:43):
just like understanding like, hey,there's a reason that we're doing this.
Right.
It's not about, yeah,it's not about money.
I mean, it is of course.
I mean, you gotta make money,you gotta, you know, you gotta
create the life you wanna have.
But, um, it's actuallyopened up more doors.
On that side of things financially,um, by making some of those changes.
But again, I think it's just, it'sremoving the ego, stepping back of, you
(20:04):
know, comparison to the, the thief of joy.
Stop comparing myself to all these peoplethat I think I wanted to be and stuff
like that, because they all have problems.
You know, that.
Mm-hmm.
You know, once you get closer tosome of those circles, you start
to realize, you think that man,their, their life's perfect.
They got all these, youknow, they got everything.
Yeah.
They don't, you know.
Um, again, so I think it was, I thinkjust stepping back, going back into the
(20:27):
envisioning things, I think just step,I stood, stood back and just kind of
thought again, like, am I on the paththat I wanna, is this really my path?
Is this really my vision?
I wanna have?
As far as where we were, likebuilding a team and stuff like that.
And I, and I, and again, I think tothis day I would say, no, I enjoyed it.
I've missed some of those things, butat the same time, happiness and things
like that today versus then tenfold.
(20:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, what, what does.
Real estate look like now.
I mean, what's the kind of the day today, what's working, where's the focus,
like for you and how do you go about, youknow, like I said, making those decisions?
'cause you only have so much time.
Yeah.
And, and really, you know, the thingsthat you're, you're focused on.
That's, that's actually working.
(21:09):
Yeah.
To be honest with you, from that sideof things, it hasn't changed, right?
So I've always been, you know,I came into real estate from,
you know, the corporate world.
Banking.
I always came in from a structurestructured as, you know,
aspect of looking at things.
Um, it's changed a little bit as faras what that day-to-day looked like,
where I used to be, you know, I wantedto get up and, you know, get to the
office early as possible before theother agents got and things like that.
(21:31):
Now my morning routine istotally different, you know?
Yeah.
From six 30 to about eight 30,it's, it's, you know, Carter's
on my, you know, I get Carter upright now, so it's been that way.
It's always the routine.
I get Carter up, we, I fix him, youknow, some milk, get his little,
his cereal, things like that.
And we sit on the couch, wewatch Bluey and, and whatever
he wants to watch that day.
And I'm just present.
Right.
(21:51):
You know, I may have my phone or whatever.
It's like checking, just prepare,prepping for the day or whatever it is.
But again, like that's my,versus in the past it was.
Hey, what calls do I have today?
What meetings do we gotta do?
Am I, am I prepared for thetraining that we're gonna put on?
Whatever those things are.
Now it's like, Hey, this is Carter.
Time is daddy.
You know, daddy.
Daddy time.
But then again, once we go into, it'sstill a structure of trying to get
(22:14):
to the office, trying to set myselfaround appointments, structure my day
properly, and then trying to end itall on the, at the right time as well.
You know, especially again now with havingson number two, it's fresh in baby mode.
It's, you know, being there, gettingready for dinner and all those things.
But from the, you know, the.
The meat of the day from the businessside of things, it really hasn't changed
(22:35):
outside of now it's just, again, it'sBrian, it's, and my, you know, I got
my clients, I got my transactions.
It's the appointments and stillgotta generate leads and have those
calls, have those conversations,do marketing, things like that.
But it's from the morning sideand the evening side that I think
that's where the change was.
'cause pre-kids and it was,alright, I'm at home now.
(22:57):
I finished my appointments.
Now I gotta start planning.
We got a team meeting tomorrowmorning, I gotta prep for that, right?
Yeah.
Or all those things.
Now it's, nope, that's put away.
I'm not really, you know,get it occasional client
calls me or whatever it is.
But I've also had conversations withthem and put those conversations
in place of like, Hey, I'm homeand I may not respond immediately.
(23:17):
And I think that was a tough thing.
You always heard people saythat, but um, again, it's just,
it's setting boundaries around.
The life that I'm currently in.
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
And you know what a what?
A what a relief.
And just thinking through, becauseyou know, I, I, I, I never processed
that way to where you're like,okay, these are non-negotiables.
(23:40):
What, what do I need to say no to sothat I can say yes to the things that
are, that are important for the high.
You know, lifetime value activities, notjust the high, you know, productivity
activities that, that we must, must do.
What, like for you that, that's drivingeverything on the business side.
Like, you know, you have to do this.
(24:03):
Like what, what are, what are the thingsthat has to happen on a day in and day
out basis to keep the business moving?
I mean, it's still mean, it's,uh, conversations, you know,
still gotta talk to people.
I can't sit back and waitfor the phone to ring.
It's still, and again, I think that'swhat I mean, is it had the, it hasn't
changed from the creating businessand managing business side of things.
It's just, it's because I stillmanage my own business when I had
(24:26):
the team, now I'm suddenly eliminatedsome of the other stuff of helping
other agents and things like that.
But from my Brian's personal business,it's been the same since day one.
It's having the conversations,I'm very sphere of influence
circle, database driven, um,referral base and things like that.
I don't, I don't do Zillowand things like that.
Um, so it's still just,it's, Hey, who am I spoke to?
(24:48):
Who's my, who's my touches,who's my check-ins?
And then again, my pending contracts,it's what needs to be accomplished today?
What's my three most important things?
I gotta make sure I check offto prepare for whatever that is.
Um, so like the keeping the main thing,the main thing like that has still been.
It still, it really has tochange on that side of things.
Yeah.
I love it.
Right.
So conversations, I'll sayconversations i'll, I still gotta
(25:10):
speak to people all the time.
Right?
Yeah.
All the time.
And then, you know, just certainaspects and things that kind of fit
your style to be able to lead upto that conversation is, is key.
Yeah.
And you know, try and wewere just, just talking.
Client right before this.
Right.
And just, just little nuance things tobe able to connect with, with people,
(25:31):
um, to always, you know, fine tuningthat that piece that can actually
connect with people that's gonna beable to, to lead to a conversation,
I think is so freaking Yeah.
So key right now.
Yeah.
I think it's just, it's being,it's what's natural to you, right.
And I always say like, I'venever been a salesy person.
(25:52):
Um, and you know, I got.
I also, people, like I alwayssay like real estate isn't,
lemme back up in my viewpoint.
We're not in a sales business,we're in a service business, right?
Servicing your people the rightway and you're gonna create
butt loads of opportunity.
Uh, and I think that's whyI've always ran the business.
It's like, how can I servicepeople for the seasonal life that
(26:12):
they're in as far as their chapter?
Whether it's moving, puttinga house in the market.
Know, I always tell people their, mostclients are, you know, it's going,
they just had a baby or they're goingthrough a divorce, or, Hey, I just
had to put my mom in a nursing home.
Like, those are the things that,like, everybody's in different seasons
and chapters of life when it comesto what we do day in and day out.
Um, yeah, and I think again, it'slike understanding that it's,
(26:34):
it's touching to where like.
Hey, I can have a conversation 10 minutesago with one client that is happy because
they just had their first baby and theywanna get a new home and blah, blah, blah.
And then the very next phone callis, yeah, I gotta deal with the
person who just lost their husband.
Right?
It's like, it's, it's veryemotional and I think you've gotta
learn how to connect with that.
And I think that's somethingthat's always allowed me to do.
(26:56):
Well, people can see, I thinkpeople can see past the, Hey, I'm
just here for the transaction.
The,
I've always, I've never.
I've never really been, I'venever been driven by that.
Right.
It's such a, it's a such a great pointthat you just brought up, and I don't
even know why I didn't even thinkabout this distinction in what you were
(27:18):
talking about because I just, over thelast 18 months, I really believe we've
been in kind of a half two market.
And the really, the, the aspirationaltype market is, it's just not there.
Right.
It's, it's really a, a more of a,of a pain point that you have to do
something type of, type of market.
(27:41):
Um, and we always talk about, youknow, Hey, you wanna be a painkiller,
you don't wanna be a vitamin company.
You wanna solve problems.
And what you just said,I don't even know why.
Just, just, you know, that's whydistinctions are so, so powerful because.
It is such a, I don't wanna sayprobably a desperate, right?
(28:03):
You're looking for moredesperate than motivated.
And though the desperate peopleare the things that they,
they have to do something.
But you said the, you said themagic word that I just, it didn't
connect at all until you justsaid it was, it's all emotional.
Yeah.
Like there's very little logic right now.
(28:25):
We always know people buy onemotion justify with logic, but I
think it's so emotional right now.
Oh yeah.
In, in how everybody's going.
It's amplified even more and youhave to take that in and how are you
managing and creating that experiencebecause it is so emotional for the real
(28:47):
buyers and sellers in today's market.
Um, especially on the selling side, right?
Yeah.
Like.
Um, and, and like I said, especiallyif you're navigating into that
desperate market, because I thinkthat's what we're really looking for.
Because I mean, if they don'thave to, if they're aspirational,
I think they're staying put.
Yeah.
(29:08):
I think it's, it's down to thepoint that you said, right?
Like we're, we're, we're, we're exploding.
If we can't find a house, we're gonna haveto, we're gonna have to add on, right?
We're gonna have to do some,some, some rehab to the house.
We're gonna, we're gonnahave to do something.
Um, obviously on, you know, the, you know,the loss of, you know, a significant,
another something, something happened.
(29:29):
You got kiddos.
I mean, obviously we're going into,um, you know, a new school year.
Maybe they're, you've got some seniorsthat are about to leave the house.
You're about to have some empty nesters,so you've got real emotional triggers
that are happening now more than ever.
Yeah.
Well, and I, and I think,again, go back to the, you
(29:49):
know, call it the COVID market.
I think it was emotional then,but just in a different way.
Right.
Because I think there it was emotionalof the, I don't want to miss out.
Right.
Because it was, you know, theinterest rates are where they are,
and I think we're getting emotionalfrom a. Fear of missing out and you
know, the FOMO side of things oflike, man, I need this as the time.
Anybody else to buying a house right now?
Why not me?
(30:09):
Right?
Or everybody else isselling for top dollar.
I wanna get that one.
Take advantage of that.
But I, you know, I've also came acrosssome people that moved during that, that
transition and of time where they probablyshouldn't have, and they probably, if they
could do it all over again, they would'vestayed where they were stayed put, right?
Yeah.
Stayed put.
Um, from a, from a payment aspect,whatever it is, I just feel like they.
(30:31):
They made some moves beingemotional around what was going
on in the world around us.
Mm-hmm.
Um, which is okay, but at thesame time Yeah, a hundred percent.
I always say that real estate,99% of the time is very emotional.
And again, it's, it's perindividual, every transaction, every.
Every sale is different.
(30:51):
It's just where's that, where areyou connecting with them emotionally?
What's the reason, what's the goal?
No different than what we have as faras the vision of building our business.
There's a goal and there's areason and there's a why as far
as why they're making that move.
Right?
Yeah.
Um, and then really honing inthat comes from the very early
conversations, pieces with them.
It's like honing in on, uncovering that.
It's not just, Hey John,you wanna buy a house?
(31:12):
Great.
Let's go start looking at houses.
Well, let's talk about that.
Let's dig into deeper, likewhat's the reason behind it?
Let's learn about your currentsituation, what you're going through.
And again, sometimes it's isthis is right now the right time.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that's where,again, I've done really well.
And that's coming back to the divisionof who I want to be as a person.
An agent is, an advisor doesn't alwaysadvise people to move right now.
(31:35):
Mm-hmm.
I think sometimes anadvisor's like, Hey, let's.
Pausing where what theconversation right now is.
Okay.
And let's, whether it's save a little bitmore money or wait till the, the market
shifts because of, you know, you, youfinancially, you don't have the funds to,
you know, I would say right now buyers arebuyers right now because of where we are.
(31:56):
They're, you know, move in readyis very top of list for them.
They don't wanna move into it.
They don't want projectsand stuff like that.
Especially for what they're gonna pay.
And I've had some conversationsrecently with some people to where.
It, they don't have the, the funds andthe opportunities to maybe make some
updates to the house or whatever thosethings are to where, and then also they
just can't financially buy right now.
But like sometimes it's having thatconversation like, Hey, let's pause this.
(32:20):
Let's, let's revisit this in two or threemonths and like, set a plan together and.
Versus putting on a market next weekor buying, starting to look at houses.
Let's pause this until we canfigure out A, B and C or whatever.
It's um, yeah, to remove to wherelike, again, I think that's come back
to the emotional side of things whereit's like, man, like, okay, great.
I went into this thinking thatit was a very dire need for me to
(32:42):
make this move right now becauseof whatever the reason was, but.
Calming my emotions down a little bit andunderstanding, and them stepping back and
seeing, all right, what's the better mood?
What's a better chess piece?
What does that look like?
And I think that's helps, again,eliminate some of the emotions
side of things for clients.
Again, it's just the way I, I, I feellike I process things Yeah, sometimes
(33:04):
and just try to connect with the peopleas an individual, um, and, and just
kind of lead them in that direction.
But I think emotional, emotionaldecisions is a big factor.
Day in, day out of this business.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I, yeah, I, so it's so good.
And I, I think, you know,for, for, for agents and for
(33:26):
just people in general, right.
You know, just that, that level of, ofemotional intelligence to really just to
be able to sit and, and, and listen, youknow, ask questions and listen to really
what they're saying and what they're,what they're wanting to, to accomplish.
Like you said, you know, be willingto tell 'em what they need to
hear, not what they want to hear.
(33:47):
And that's gonna just serve youat such a, such a high level.
And, you know, people,people appreciate that.
Right.
Well, I'll say we're, we're in thetrust building business, right?
And a lot of companies, you know, alot of industries are, but in real
estate, for us, it's like there'sso many of us out there that try
to sell houses and real estate.
It's like, who do I go with or whatever?
Who do I trust to handle this biginvestment in this financial decision?
(34:11):
I think the people that go about it,I don't, again, I don't wanna say
wrong 'cause I understand there'sdifferent business philosophies and
ways to, you know, get, but again,like me personally, I've never been,
it, it just comes out unnatural ifI'm going into that conversation.
Like kind of pushing to the sidethat, hey, I, I, you know, man,
your mom's, you gotta put yourmom in a nursing home, right?
(34:32):
Yeah.
I mean, just, alright.
And then pushing that to the side andjust going straight to, alright, well
let's talk about your house on the market.
Let's pause over here and let's hone in.
Like tell me a little bit about likewhat's that been like, where's she at?
What's, what's the reason of that?
You know, how long has her health and theclient like having those conversations?
So many people in this business,I don't know why either, they just
(34:52):
don't feel comfortable, they don'tknow how to ask those questions.
They don't know how to connect witha person as an individual, and.
Go deeper in their relationship withthose people and they, they wanna
keep it so surface level, level andbusiness only, or whatever it is.
And I think, to me, I think that,again, coming back to building those
relationships, I'm always the personthat's gonna go, Hey, let's, let's,
we'll talk real estate here in asecond, but let's talk about again,
(35:16):
whatever the decision is and the reasonwhy we're making this move and why
we're here today, let's focus on that.
Yeah.
And, and even that, that'sreminding them, it's, it's.
'cause again, it's the why.
It's mm-hmm.
You know, so when you're two monthsinto the process and they're emotionally
frustrated 'cause maybe the house isn'ton the market or they haven't found
the house they want to, it's bringingthem back into, Hey, look, remember
(35:37):
this is, it's part of the process.
What's the why?
What, what, what's the end goal?
What are we trying to get to?
Right.
Um, to where it's just, it's, that'sthe trust factor that we try to build.
Yeah.
That's so good.
Right?
And, and, and that just is, tome, trust is just transparency,
authenticity, being a genuine, caringhuman being, time, time's time.
(36:01):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
It takes, it takes time to really build,to build that trust in the marketplace,
especially when it's so freaking noisy.
When you know everybody's, you know,most agents need to sell, sell a
house more than the buyer or seller.
Yeah, needs to either sell or buy.
And that desperation definitely, you know,can come across and it's icky and gross.
(36:23):
And so really just genuinely caringabout, you know, another human
being and, and getting clear onwhat is the situation, what are,
what are they trying to accomplish?
And then determining is that somebodythat you can help or, or not.
Um, I think is, isreally, really important.
Yep.
I agree.
(36:44):
So for, for you, you know, kind of whereyou, you know, you're at stage, I mean,
what are, what are you excited aboutmoving into this last part of the year?
Oh.
Business wise.
I mean, just continuing on the gr the,the growth and their, I'll say the
re the rebuilding of, of my business.
(37:07):
Um, yeah, I think I've,I've been, it was funny.
It was funny.
We laughed about, you know, had we wentthrough all the transitions that we had,
Carter did all this changes we alreadytalked about and it's like, alright great,
we're getting our feet settled business.
I got, I'm right there and I'm bam.
Alright.
Right?
Yeah.
So then it's like, alright,let's, let's transition, let's
back up a little bit again.
(37:28):
Let's start over.
But again, it's allowed me todig deeper and evaluate Yeah.
Even more of that vision.
Um, but again, I think now that we'retransitioning out of, you know, two
months, two months into, you know,boy number two, uh, but learning
that, you know, life is different now.
Life is totally differentwith two over one.
(37:49):
Uh, so I've had to trans, you know, makesome of those changes as far as the daily
routine and stuff like that goes as well.
Um, but I, I think that's the mostexciting thing is knowing that
I can visualize and I can see the.
So much clearer now, the person thatI wanted to become versus than I,
(38:09):
that I did three or four years ago.
Right.
Yeah.
And again, we, we've talked aboutthis, I think, you know, through all
the coaching things, I mean, you'vebeen on and, and I all, you know,
people say like, what's your vision?
I always struggle.
I don't know.
How do you uncover it?
What do you ask?
Am I asking the wrong questions?
Like, I don't know.
Is there a, is there a toolor a process I can go through?
Like, I don't know.
(38:29):
I, I, there's so many differentones I have, but I think now it's,
it's Is it 100% crystal clear?
No, but it's way clearerthan it was, yeah.
Three, four years ago.
And I think that's the exciting part.
It's a work in progress.
Right.
And you know, when Yeah.
You, you, you have a significant other.
(38:49):
Okay.
Starts to, but when you got a,a, a little human being that's
a part of you that Oh, yeah.
Tends to, that tends tohelp kind of start to.
Shape what you want the futureto look like because you're,
like I said, you're, you're notthinking about just you anymore.
Yeah.
And, and even when you, you know, you havea significant other, you get married, it's
(39:12):
still not all you, but it's still more youthan, than, than just them because it's,
it's hard to just be unconditionally just.
100%. You know, selfish, it's,you know, I really subscribed.
You gotta be, uh, or selfless.
I, I I I, I kind of fall into theMcConaughey camp that you've gotta be a
(39:37):
little selfish so you can be selfless.
Mm-hmm.
But when you got the, when you gotthe little ones that really does, um,
it, it, it really does start to, tomake you think, um, differently and.
And, and I, I think even more sowhen you get a little bit older
and you start to like, ah, damn.
(39:59):
Right?
And, and so being able to, to help youknow what you want that to look like.
And, and that's why Idefault back to it, man.
I, I, I default back to, you know,October was 20 years, um, since kinder
and I got together and I, I, I reallyreflected coming into this new year.
(40:21):
If I was to coach us 27, 20 8-year-oldknuckleheads, how I would've coached
us, knowing what I know now, and I, Iwould've coached us on, you know, stop
being hung up on, on chasing status.
'cause we wanted to be number one so bad.
(40:42):
Um, just the competitiveness in us andthe things that at that age we felt like
we wanted to prove something and we hada, you know, a top 10 team for re max on
the planet that we went head to head with.
And so what I would've pushed backon us would've been, listen, you
know, there's, there's layers, right?
(41:04):
And of course you havesurvival, then you have status.
Get your butts outtastatus and get to freedom.
What does freedom really look like?
And what I, you know, would,would we be sitting here?
Probably not if wewould've pursued freedom.
Um, so I'm grateful everythinghas happened the way it's
(41:26):
happened, but I know what it'll.
It'll course it, like, it'll, it'llset you back decades if you're
not chasing the right objective.
If you're not chasing the right,the right, you know, destination.
And the destination has to be freedom.
Um, obviously there's, there's, there's,there's another level above that, which is
legacy, but you've gotta get to freedom.
(41:49):
And, you know, mydefinition is perfect day.
Are you, are you moving closerto living your perfect day?
Um, you know who you're wakingup with, the conversations you're
having, the lunch, the work you'redoing, who you're helping, like you
said, that morning, that evening,you know, the, those, those rituals.
(42:10):
And then it's, are we creatingrevenue streams to where we're
not trading time for dollarsbecause it's the combination of.
The, the amount of income neededto live the life you want, which is
the day, the perfect day scenario.
(42:30):
So I think it's, it's a combinationof those things and that's
where I would've coached us.
Um, and not chasing things tochase things or, because that's
how, you know, you want to emulatesomebody else that you think, right?
It has it all together, butas, as we know, you know,
nobody has it all together.
So I think it's, um, I think it's justa combination of those things, man,
(42:53):
and, and, um, you know, kind of whereyou're at in the season, you know,
kudos, kudos to you for, you know, nottrying to muscle through because of ego.
And really recalibrating and, and,and having the tough conversation
of like, what is the goal?
Like what is the real goal thatwe're wanting to accomplish?
And then what are all the ways toget there that we're not willing,
(43:15):
you know, what are the hard nos thatwe're not willing to, to exchange?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And again, I mean, you, you mentionedin the past, I mean, it's, it's
the thousand foot view, right?
It's, and it's going back to therelationship, relationship side of things.
You, you know, the comparisonof the joy side of things.
It's, it's, once I've built theserelationships with some people and
I still love 'em to death, right?
(43:35):
And I still put it, it's, youstart uncovering, you're like,
man, this is where I want to be.
And you start realizing like they're,they're not where they want to be.
They're, you know, they're stillchasing things and they're still
trying to cover is this really whatthey wanna do and things like that.
Um, but for me it's, right, itwas stepping back and saying
that like, this can't be.
(43:57):
This can't be the next 10 years,this can't be the next 20 years.
This can't be what I'm chasingthe arena running the rabbit
wheel of just life, right?
Yeah.
It's gotta, you've gotta stepback and just say, alright, what,
and who am I doing this for?
Um, and for me, again, I think I,I, the comparison side of things
and the status to where I was, thesame thing I wanted to be known of.
(44:19):
Like, Hey, I'm, you know, we're,we're building this brand or whatever
it is, and it, all of it, at theend of the day, doesn't matter.
You know, year over year, the, the,the days change, and me and you see it,
there's, we, there's some, and withinour industry alone, there's so many, you
know, top agents and teams that it's, theyreach this status and then all great, I
reached this level, and then what, right?
(44:40):
Mm-hmm.
Using a golf analogy.
You, you probably recently see this.
Look at Scotty Scheffler.
He, he got cooled for the things herecently came out and said, because
he's like, man, you re you trainyour entire life day in and day out
to be the best golfer in the world.
You win the biggest golf tournament in theworld and you're like, is this all it is?
You know?
Yeah.
And, and people were like, man, like howare you not satisfied, but he's right.
(45:04):
Like, you reach that and you're like,man, he enjoyed for five minutes.
Then it's like, alright, what's next?
Yeah.
Right.
And it's just starting over again.
It's, it's the process that he's,he basically came out, said he
enjoys, that's not what he is.
That's not what he defines as success.
It's the process.
The day in and day out of that.
He phones that.
Yeah.
That he's found that he enjoys.
Right.
Yeah.
(45:24):
And for me, I thought it was, Hey,we gotta be number one in our market,
or we gotta do, we gotta get to Xnumber of transactions this year,
or we gotta make this much profit.
Whatever.
Those things, and like you getto certain different levels,
you're like, all right, maybe.
Maybe it's more, maybe maybe I need todo, let me add another million to that.
Mm-hmm.
It's just continuing the cycleof like, man, this isn't it.
(45:46):
Um, and then the funny thing is like,now that I've stepped back to all those
things and I look back of making all thechanges, like not getting to too deep
financially, but like that side of thingsis drastically improved by just stepping
back and eliminating some of the thingsthat, like you said, that you don't need.
The things I'm now saying no to so muchthat I used to say yes to, just because
(46:08):
I wanted to, like it used to help.
I thought it would help me catapultto higher and bigger statuses, saying
no to those things all the time now.
Um, and keeping focus on the goal, right?
The vision.
Yeah.
And I think it's just allowed,it's just freedom, freedom,
freedom from the, from themental side of things as well.
(46:31):
Right.
To, it's not, I'm notchasing John Kitchens.
It's not chasing, you know, whoever itis, it's, it's within all four walls.
Right.
Are we closer to that perfectday, like you mentioned?
Mm-hmm.
Am I there yet?
No, but I got a long way to go.
Yes.
But at the same time.
But that picture, that perfectday, so much more clear.
(46:53):
And I think to me, that'sthe most important thing.
Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta go througha little trial and error to
get there, but you know, like.
Scotty was was saying isjust, man, it's, it's loving.
We, we've heard it, right.
It's falling in love with theprocess, but I think it's also
having faith in the process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(47:13):
It is and knowing that, knowing thatthe work is, is the work that he is
putting in is generating the success.
Yeah.
I mean we, you know, just, justuncovering it so much more.
When you study, you studythat greatness, right?
You look at mj, you look at Kobe, youknow, even, even freaking tiger, right?
Like just that work right to where whenyou get in the competition, it's easy.
(47:35):
And I just remember when I, whenI did my first Ironman like.
The, the actual event was fun.
Yeah.
But what sucked was every day oftraining e every run, every swim.
It's just like, you know, us, us growingup playing golf, I mean, you just had
to fall in love with hitting balls.
You just had to fall in love withthe hours on the putting green.
(47:57):
You just, you know, hours in the bunkersand just, you know, as much as like, I
hated it, but you just, you had to, youjust had to like, God, this is the work.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, so good.
I love brother.
I, uh, man, I'm happy for you and,you know, making tough decisions.
That's an alignment to a betterlife that's leading you closer
(48:20):
to, you know, that perfect day.
Most people won't.
You know, feel like they're, they're,they're taking a couple steps back to
be able to take those 10 steps forward.
But it, it, it is, youknow, always the right move.
And I, I mean, I've experienced it.
I've seen it.
And so kudos to you for being able to.
(48:41):
Letting the ego aside, right?
It's the whole outcome over ego.
It's about getting to rightinstead of being right.
And well, it's easy in concept,but it's such hard and, you know,
in practice to be able to do so.
Kudos to you, man.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You got it brother.
Well, appreciate it.
Um, you guys listening in, connectwith Brian, uh, give him some love
(49:02):
and, uh, man, let's, uh, let'sfigure out how we can get our
butts back out on the golf course.
Pretty soon.
Yeah.
I keep telling people I'mworking on my handicap, man.
I need shops next time we play.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes.
I hear you.
Alright, awesome.
Alright.
Thanks brother.
Thanks guys.
See you.
See you.
Thanks for tuning in.
If you're done guessing and ready tolead like a real CEO with a custom
(49:24):
strategy, real accountability andproven systems, check out my executive
one-on-one coaching@johnkitchens.coach.
Fill out the application and bookyour one-on-one call with me.
Be sure to hit follow soyou never miss an episode.
Catch you on the next one.
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