#713: Navigating Real Estate for Families in Transition with Renee Velasquez

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Seven figure success starts whenyou start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the John Kitchens Coach podcastexperience as your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger andtransform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
Welcome everybody to episode 297 of Excellent Mentors Live.

(00:24):
And we've got, uh, we've got a good one.
Um.
In store for today.
Um, we've got the one and only MissRenee Velasquez back in the house.
Welcome, Renee.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me again.
I appreciate it.
Yes, yes.
And I, I've got my, uh, mylovely bracelet on every day.
So I always have my on andI did not put it on today.

(00:47):
I'm so bum.
I always have it.
I had it on yesterday.
So for those of you listening in,uh, Renee's daughter has a bracelet.
Business and, uh, our quarterlystrategic mastermind, the kitchen table.
Um, she, Renee had had madethe post and, uh, I'm like, you
think she can turn that around?

(01:07):
She turned it around like in a dayand, um, ended up kind of going
with our theme, which was, uh, theman in the arena theme for kitchen
Table This, uh, this past quarter.
So Renee, I am really excitedto dive into today's topic.
I know.
It's a, it was, it was interesting.
I was having a conversation yesterday,um, with the gentleman and we were talking

(01:31):
about, you know, we know emotion and thenjustify with logic and it just really
feels like the market conditions we'rein as it's, it's all emotion, right?
Mm-hmm.
And you take it even a step furtheron the emotional scale of the topic
that we're gonna dive into todayand, you know, really navigating.

(01:54):
The real estate terrain with,with families in transition.
I know what, what you've gonethrough the last couple years.
Um, what we went through with my dad acouple years ago and I, I was just super
grateful and super fortunate to havea sister that lived close to my dad.
I live close to his house.

(02:15):
Um, her amazing husband and her thatreally took the reins and navigated.
I mean, we were fortunate enough therewas some stuff that was navigated
prior to, um, you know, losing my dad,but then being able for her to, to,
to really step in after the fact andinstead of just letting it sit there.

(02:38):
And I've seen the opposite side ofthings with, um, a close family friend
that lost his mom and he lived in Dallasand, and her home was in Lawton, and
it stayed that way for 15, 20 years.
Still had the Christmas trees up.
Um, and he just couldn't deal with it.
And so, you know, it, it is so emotional.

(03:01):
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, working with you to,to navigate through this, but also.
To really what you're really good at, thatyou really understand the ins and outs
of this better than anybody I've seen.
And like you're educating me oncertain things and surprising me
with things that I'm like, wow,I didn't even think about that.
And a lot of people don't.

(03:22):
Right.
I think it's one of the things, andjust from my observation is that
nobody wants to deal with it at all.
So I I, I'm really excited for youto, to jump in because this is.
Super important for us to allunderstand with, with parents, or
even ourselves, to setting it up for,you know, what happens when it is

(03:43):
time, you know, for the transition.
Yeah.
And, and that's kind ofwhere this all stemmed from.
Um, for the last, um, almost four years.
Um, we were, me and my family, mysiblings, there's five of us have
been taking care of our aging parents.
And, um, they were managing fine anduntil they're not right, and, um,

(04:04):
when you start seeing those signs thatthey're not managing things very well.
You know, you've gotta intervene.
And that's not easy to do, um, to havethose types of conversations, which is
why, um, this is so important right now.
I mean, the reality of it is wehave a very large aging populace.
Um, I'm in northeast Ohio, and, um,the demographics here, we just have a

(04:25):
very large aging populace in our state.
And, um, it's this, this kind ofinformation is needed and I kind of
fell into it organically, um, becauseI was taking care of my mom and dad.
Now I'm.
49 years old.
Um, this is something thateveryone I, everybody I went
to school with is dealing with.
Like, we're just at that age where we haveparents that are getting up in years and

(04:47):
they may not necessarily be able to takecare of or manage the family home anymore.
Um, you know, they may need to gointo different types of housing
and nobody knows where to start.
Um, and those.
You know, there, if you were in a familythat was, um, that took the time to kind
of plan some of these things out, great.
That's, that's wonderful.
But so many families don't.
Um, because it's taboo.

(05:08):
If, if anyone out there is like my dad, mydad never wanted to talk about this stuff.
Um, because he felt like hewas inviting it into his world.
He is like, Nope, I'm just gonnapush it off until, you know,
I, I can't push it off anymore.
And, um, and I get that.
So he did have some things in place,but not everything was taken care of.
For the last four years, my, mysiblings have been taking care of
them and, um, we lost both of them.

(05:30):
Um, I lost my dad in 2023 and, uh,lost my mom in March of this year.
And each one of those phases haspresented, you know, different
difficulties and different mountainsthat we had to climb to get through it.
And I, because of my age andbecause of, um, the business that
is around me, um, I've been havingto navigate these waters, not only

(05:53):
personally, but with a lot of clients.
Um, and it really starts withlike, you know, who are we helping?
Um, there's generally about three, threedifferent types of people we're helping.
We have the aging individual themselves,um, that they wanna get things set up
so that they're not leaving a mess fortheir children or their loved ones.
So I have people reaching out tome saying, Hey, Renee, you know,
we really need to think about.

(06:14):
Right sizing.
We don't like to call it downsizing.
We like to call it right sizing.
Um, and that right sizing mayinclude, you know, going to a ranch
home, um, here in northeast Ohio.
It's not land ranch.
A ranch home is onestore, one floor living.
Um, so that's what we talked about.
That was, that was, thatwas a learning curve for me.
I was like, what?
Where's the ranch?
You know, being from Oklahoma and Texas,you only call ranch homes when they're on.

(06:36):
Exactly, exactly.
So it's.
Uh, one floor living, you know, isthe laundry room on the first floor?
Do we have access to everything?
Do we not have to navigate stairs?
You know, are they going to a condo?
You know, um, what does that look like?
So we've got the person that, uh,is looking at, you know, get these
things set up for themselves.
Then we have the family members.
We have the children of the aging parents.

(06:56):
That they see the writing on the walland they're like, Hey mom, dad, we need
to get some things in order to make surethat, uh, this isn't forced upon us.
Like we wanna be able to makethe decisions ourselves and
not have this forced upon us.
And then you have the third person, andthat's the person left holding the bag.
That's, Hey, nothing was planned,um, nothing was in place.

(07:17):
Our loved one has passed on, and nowwe're having to navigate what to do
with all of their possessions, includingtheir home, and that person left to have
to deal with it after someone's passed.
You've got three people within that.
Subset of, of individuals.
And that's the brokenhearted, theone that's really grieving and
does not want to deal with it.
So your friend, that 20 years, youknow, basically something sat there

(07:41):
isolated in time 'cause they justdidn't feel comfortable addressing it.
That's a reality.
Um, it's really difficult for peopleto separate, um, from the emotion part
of that and having to get through it.
It's super emotional.
Then you've got the person that'sreally kind of ticked off, like
disgruntled, maybe they wereestranged from their family.
Um.
And, and don't want any part ofhaving to deal with all of this.

(08:02):
And they're forced to becausethey're, they're the next in
line to have to deal with it.
And then you've got that, that thirdperson that we, I kind of refer to as
the disinterested party, and that'slike your attorneys and things like
that, that maybe there is no family.
Um, and the attorneys just, um,you know, trying to, trying to get
through the estate portion of it.
So that's really where it starts.

(08:22):
Do you see a mixture?
I mean, is it, is one, you know,subset of that more you see more
frequent than, than the others?
Yeah.
Um, it's the children of the aging family.
Um, the aging parents because the parentshaven't put things in place and it's
not because they don't, they're nottrying to hand, uh, you know, something.
You know, this, this big stressorto their kids, they just don't

(08:44):
necessarily know any better.
Um, they know that there's thehouse and they just assume because,
you know, maybe they had a willdrafted years and years ago.
They just assume that becausethey have a will that's gonna
take care of everything for them.
And it doesn't, especiallywhen it comes to real estate.
Um, a will just pretty muchexpresses the intentions.
Of what someone wants tohappen with their possessions.

(09:07):
It doesn't necessarily give anyone thelegal right to do what they need to do.
So for instance, in a home sale, a willmay say, yes, I want my house to go to my
children, but there's some legal documentsthat need to be filed to ensure that that
happens and that you can avoid probate.
Um, if that will is theonly thing that exists.

(09:27):
And there's no legal documentsthat say upon death, this
transfers into my children's names.
That home needs to go through probate,which adds a whole nother litany of
issues and, and problems and stressors forthe person that has to go through this.
So that is generally the most commonindividuals that I'm dealing with on
a regular basis is the family memberstrying to navigate through this.

(09:48):
And unfortunately, it's usually afterthe fact after mom and dad have passed.
Yeah.
It's, um, you're spot on there in,in that, um, like, I think too,
what, what you said earlier, right?
They just, they want tokind of avoid it, right?
Mm-hmm.
They don't wanna have to dealwith it outta sight, outta mind.
Maybe that's kind of the generation.
And my dad was the same way.

(10:08):
Like, he would never go to the doctor.
He's like, I just don'twanna, I don't wanna care.
I don't wanna hear what they have to say.
Yeah.
Um, and, you know, and, and until ithappens and, and it happens fast, right.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
Like, you know, my dad, you know,stepped off, stepped off the curb.
Landed on his knee, broke his hip, andyou know, a year later he was gone.
And so it, it, it can go so fast,but what, what you just said, my dad

(10:31):
had the will and things in place.
But still had to go through probatebecause it was missing some of
those, those legal documents, um,that need to be, to me, to be there.
Yeah.
And, and that's another thingthat, um, you know, that generation
didn't necessarily talk abouttheir income, their assets.
It was a very private thing.
You know, we go on socialmedia and everybody's flashing

(10:52):
what they have right now.
Right?
Yeah.
Um.
Back in the day, that wasn'tsomething that you did.
Nobody knew, you know, if your,if your house was paid off or not,
like we weren't having big paid offmy mortgage parties kind of thing.
Right.
You just, uh, they painted theirdoor red to let everybody know
that, that their house was paid off.
That's what they did.
That's where the red door came from.
Little tidbit for you.
Oh, interesting.
Did not know that they paintedthe door red, um, to signify

(11:16):
that their house was paid off.
But at any rate, um.
That was a taboo subject.
You didn't talk aboutfinances with your kids.
Right.
And I think now it's, it's way moreacceptable to, you know, how we're,
we're going on social and saying,Hey, this was my income this year.
I mean, agents do it.
They get on on Facebook and they're likesold, you know, 11 million gajillion

(11:37):
dollars worth of real estate, like.
Nobody, no other industrydoes that, right?
Yeah.
So it was a taboo subject and, um, peoplethought, okay, I need to have a will.
That's, that's what they weretold is you need to have a will.
And then that was it.
And then you have that family memberthat said, no, I know that, um,
there's other things I need to do.
And they might go talk to a trustattorney and they'll go through all

(11:59):
the things to protect all their assetsand their wealth and all of that.
And then it gets to the point wherethey're like, okay, well this is what it's
gonna cost to put this trust together.
And then all of a sudden everybodygoes, whoa, wait a minute.
That's a lot of money.
Like maybe I don't need to do this.
And then they don't.
Mm. And then we end up in the situationthat that many, many people are in.
And that's where everythinghas to go through probate.

(12:21):
And unfortunately, probate isnot a, an inexpensive situation.
Um, probate attorneys charge differentways they can charge a flat fee.
Um, a probate attorney can, can chargea flat fee to get you from the beginning
of probate through probate to determine,Hey, is the will that's in place?
Is this the right one?
Or is there someone out there thatcould come up and say, Hey, no, no, no.

(12:44):
That will was from 1989.
I have a will that wasput together in 2001.
So my will that I have, that thesepeople signed supersedes that
one that was written in 1989.
That's why Probe exists.
They need to give the time to allowanyone else to show up with any legal
documents that may be out there statingthat, hey, those intentions are old.

(13:06):
These are the, are the most recent.
Um.
And so that could be a flat feethat probate attorney can charge
a percentage of the estate.
So you've got that house sale.
Yeah.
The probate attorney's gonna geta percentage of that house sale
and the majority of people'swealth in the United States is
in equity of their personal home.

(13:28):
Right, right.
That's where the majorityof their wealth sits.
Yeah.
So you, you look at, you know how hardour, our parents, our loved ones worked.
To just maintain that home.
And, you know, some of our parentshave been in their home 40, 50
years, um, and that's all of theirwealth is tied up in that house.
It's paid off.
Um, it's, it's increased in value.

(13:49):
They may not have any other dollarsto speak of, but there's a bunch of
money left in this house, and then yougotta go through probate and give a
percentage of it to a probate attorneywhen, if we just had one little document
in place, we could have avoided that.
Yeah.
Um, we got, we, we were fortunate.
You know, my, one ofmy, you know, my dad's.
You know, one of his closestfriend's attorney, right?

(14:10):
So he, you know, he handled everythingfor us, you know, uh, for the family.
So we were super fortunate in thatregard and, and not having to, and,
and, and think about it, right?
Like.
How many people like truly havethose deep relationships with,
with these type of people anymore.
Like, I don't, right?
Like we, we did when we were inLawton and running the brokerage

(14:33):
and doing a lot of deals.
We, we, we start to, to navigatethose, those relationships.
But like, even thinking aboutlike, as you're going through it
right now, I'm just like checking.
I'm like, dang, I don't even, I don't evenknow who I would turn to right now if I
had to start to put all of this together.
And that's another piece of this,um, not to jump around, but, um,
you know, who do these people need?

(14:53):
Like, so you've got estate attorneys.
Um, the estate attorneys are greatand, and by the way, I just wanna,
uh, put out there, I'm not anattorney, I'm a real estate agent
that helps a lot of people with.
Their transition, um, for aging lovedones, and I'm not an attorney, um, but
you have estate, estate planning attorneysand their job is to kind of put all

(15:14):
this stuff together and navigate thisfor you in the pre-planning stage, so
before anything catastrophic happens.
So that could be the individualdoing it for themselves, or it
could be the family members saying,we see the writing on the wall.
We want, we need to sit downwith an estate planning attorney
and, and get this taken care of.
Now that estate planning attorney.
They could potentially justfocus on the planning part.

(15:37):
Some estate planning attorneyswill also get you through probate,
um, but some of them specialize.
So what we found here is thatunfortunately you've got some
estate planning attorneys thatwill go ahead and prepare the will.
They will go ahead and PR preparepowers of attorney for people that
like, Hey, if mom and dad do becomeincapacitated and cannot make decisions

(15:58):
for themselves, we need to havepowers of attorney in place so that
we can speak and do on their behalf.
So medical powers of attorney, durablepowers of attorney, financial powers of
attorney, they'll draft all those things.
But the piece that was missing isthat some of these estate planning
attorneys that you're trusting toget you through this and, and make
sure every, all the t's are, youknow, crossed and i's, are dotted.

(16:21):
They're not filing certaindocuments, like something called
a transfer on death affidavit.
Mm-hmm.
So a transfer on death affidavitis something that's filed with the
county in which the property, thehome is located and it's filed.
That says, upon my death.
This property will transferinto whoever's name.

(16:44):
And a piece that these estate planningattorneys were missing is they weren't
filing that because they knew that if wejust had the will and we have the powers
of attorney, powers of attorney endwhen somebody passes away, they're done.
So you may have rights to speak for yourloved one during life, but the moment

(17:05):
they pass, that power of attorney ceases.
And now you need a differentauthority put in place to allow
you to take care of the estate.
So loved one would pass, theywould have a will, they would
have their powers of attorney.
Power attorney now ends the will,gives the intentions of what the
loved one wanted to do, and thatmay say that we want the house to

(17:26):
transfer into my children's names.
But because that transfer on deathaffidavit wasn't filed, that house
now has to go through probate, andthose estate attorneys know that,
and that's an insulation for them toget paid again to go through probate.
Yep.
And I'm not calling theattorneys out here dishonest.
I'm not.
That's not what, what my goal here is.

(17:48):
My goal is it's a business.
It's a business.
Yeah.
It's just like you go tothe dentist, all right?
They, they've, they've got abusiness model to where Yes.
They try to upsell youon every Dane thing.
Yes.
And they will, when, when a lovedone dies, you need, you need that
will, you need that copy of, thatwill to do a lot of the things
that you're going to need to do.
And those attorneys know, andthey'll hold onto the original.

(18:11):
The original will, they'll give you acopy, but they'll hold onto the original.
And when you need the original, you'reforced to go back to that same attorney.
And then the reality of it is many ofthese attorneys are leaving the business.
Mm-hmm.
They're retiring as well.
They're aging out.
So you may have a loved one that setssomething up with an estate attorney.
They have a will in place.
They have all this in place.

(18:31):
You have to go back to thatattorney to get the original
will, only to find out that thatattorney is no longer practicing.
Mm-hmm.
How do you find them?
Yeah, they may have retired and movedto Florida or moved to Belize, wherever,
and you're stuck having to track downand there's no, um, to my knowledge,
there's no obligation of that attorneyto call every single client they've ever

(18:52):
done business with or created a will forand say, Hey, by the way, I'm retiring.
Right?
There's no obligation there.
So we find these people stuck.
So we have estate of planningattorneys, we have trust attorneys,
which I kind of touched upon.
You know, their, their whole job isto, uh, create trust, um, revocable
trust, um, living trust, thingslike that to protect the wealth of

(19:15):
the individual and their assets.
Um, then we have the probate attorney.
The probate attorney comes in,in play after someone has passed.
And, um.
I don't want anybody to have toneed a probate attorney, right?
If we plan all these things up front,hopefully we won't need to go through
that route because probate can takesix plus months to get through.

(19:37):
So now you have a home sittingthere, um, not by choice.
But by necessity it's sitting there.
You still have running bills.
So is the, does, is there money inthe estate to pay for the electric?
The, you know, here in northeastOhio, we get rainy seasons.
Um, we have water tables in our, inour ground that require our properties

(19:58):
to have some pumps in them to pushwater away from the foundation.
Well, if the electricity isn'tbeing maintained on a house.
And we have a storm and there's highwater and the sun pump isn't working.
Guess what?
The basement's flooding.
Yeah.
So now I have an assay that nowhas water in the basement, and
now I have to get all that out.
It's just this, this.

(20:18):
Snowball effect of depreciating valuein these homes where if we just had
a few key pieces in place, we couldavoid all that and really transfer
the wealth the way the individualmaybe wanted to, to their loved ones.
Um, or the, or, you know,even for their ongoing care.
Um, you know, we have situations wherepeople end up having to go to memory

(20:40):
care and don't have the mental capacityto deal with any of those things.
We don't have anything in place.
Mom or dad's in memory care,they can't tell you those things.
You don't even have access to theaccounts to make these payments.
Um, the next thing you know, theelectricity's turned off and now we
have a house with water in the basement.
Um, you wanna talk about, uh, adding,uh, pressures to an individual

(21:05):
caretakers taking care of loved ones,and that's another reason why some
people don't, don't address thesethings, is because they're so busy
actually taking care of the loved one.
There's no time for themto address these things.
Um, you get, you know, you're,you're trying to make sure that
this person eats every day and thatthey've got their medication taken
and that they're not escaping thehouse and, and all of these things.

(21:27):
So the last thing on your mindis, Hey, do I have a power of
attorney to go to get money formom's medications to purchase that?
Like, it's just a, yeah.
And it, and sometimes, sometimesit's hard to even, you know.
Bridge and bring upthat conversation right.
To, to have that conversationabout how things need to, to
kind of go and, and go in place.

(21:49):
And, you know, I, I just, just remember,you know, my sister just giving a
heads up like, Hey, we need to, to,to do these things a hundred percent.
And it's just like, you know, I,you know, who's doing it right?
You know, some rock, paper,scissors, who's gonna, you know,
to win to have that conversation.
And yeah.
And so, uh, yeah, I mean, it could bereally uncomfortable, um, you know,

(22:10):
to have that super uncomfortable.
So, you know, once we identify whoit is that we're helping, is it
the person you know themselves?
Is it the family memberor is it after the fact?
And you know, are we dealing witha broken hearted, the really ticked
off or the disinterested party?
You know, then we need to lookat what's slowing them down.
And there are so many things like what'spreventing them from taking action?

(22:31):
And that one that you just said.
The un uncomfy conversation is a hugereason why it's not getting done because
it, it starts with a conversation, and Iknow having gone through this, you know,
things like telling someone they can'tdrive anymore, that they can't get in
their car that they've been doing sincethey were 16 years old, they cannot get in
the car and drive to the store themselves.

(22:53):
You're taking away a freedom.
Right.
Um, that's a really uncomfortableconversation and we, we had to
go through that several times.
Yeah.
Um, and then saying, Hey, I, I'mnot pushing you into the grave.
That's not what I'm doing here.
But we need to figure outwhat we're going to do.
When this happens, um, you know,finances, what's happening with the

(23:16):
house, what's happening with the cars,what's happening with the sentimental
pieces, you know, in the house.
You know, I, I have a, uh, I have a,my dad was a hunter and uh, he had
several mounted deer heads, right?
And, um, there's five of us.
And there was only x amount of deer heads.
There wasn't five deer heads, right?
And of course you got the family memberwas like, I don't want a deer head.
Like, no, no way.

(23:36):
But then.
You've got four people andthere's only three deer heads.
Like, who gets the deer head?
Like, it's so silly, right?
Yeah.
But, um, these are all things thatneed to be addressed and no one
wants to have those conversations.
So that's slowing them down.
Um, where's mom and dad gonna go orwhere are, you know, if we're the aging
individual, where are we gonna go?

(23:56):
Are we gonna go to a ranchhome, the one floor living?
Are we gonna go to the condo?
Are we gonna move in with family?
17% of all real estate TRA transactionsbeing done in the US right now
is multi-generational housing.
Mm. 17%.
Those are family members movingin with other family members
for one reason or another.
It may be kids moving in withparents so they can take care of 'em.

(24:17):
It may be parents moving in with kidsso that they can be taken care of.
Um, but 17% of the real estatetransactions going on in the United
States, multi-generational housing.
Mm-hmm.
Like it's happening guys.
Like we, we need to, we need to be thesolution, um, and give these people some
solutions to make this transition easier.

(24:38):
Um.
And so, you know, arethey moving with family?
Are they going to independent living?
Are they going to assisted living?
Are they going to memory care?
Are they gonna try to age in place?
I have people reach out to me allthe time and says, look, mom and
dad are in a, in a ranch home.
But there are certain things thatjust aren't serving them right now.
And we may need, we we're not up tofull scale care, but it would be great

(24:58):
if somebody could just come in once aweek and take care of their needs once a
week, twice a week, three times a week.
Where do we go for that?
Who does that?
Um, how do we fund it?
So I have people reaching out to mesaying, Hey, Renee, we need to tap into
that home equity so that we can affordto take care of the care that they need.
Or we need to hire someone to mowthe lawn, or whatever it looks like.

(25:20):
How do we do that?
Um, reverse mortgages.
I'm telling you, I used to havea negative, negative, negative
opinion about reverse mortgages.
And it's because I just didn'treally understand them, and
they've come a long way.
Reversal Mor mortgages have this negativestigma that it's gonna take someone's
home away and leave them homeless.

(25:40):
Um, that is not the case.
There are, there are stops in placeto make sure that that doesn't happen.
And it is a viable resourcefor people that their equity
is tapped into their home.
It can also be used asa vehicle to actually.
Gain wealth.
And that's a subject for, we'llget on another expert metrics
and we'll talk about that.
But, um, reverse mortgages are, areare something that's a tangible thing

(26:02):
that you can, you know, give yourclients a resource to say, Hey, this
might make sense for you to do this.
Um, you know, where'sall the stuff gonna go?
That slows them down like.
Okay, great.
We've, we've got, we're cool.
We've got this going.
We're gonna get mom anddad into a smaller home.
It's, you know, more manageable.
We've got this covered, but like, we'vegot 10 pounds of m and ms that we've

(26:25):
need to shove into a five pound bag.
Where does all this go?
They don't even know where to start.
Like, how do we sell thefurniture on Facebook marketplace?
Do we donate it?
Do you know how many places that are?
You know, we think, oh,well, we'll just donate it.
They don't pick up furniture.
No.
They don't want furniture.
Yeah.
So it's so difficult in my, yeah.

(26:47):
Um, you know, uh, do we put it in storage?
I had a family that they, theyrealized they needed to sell the house.
The house had been sitting therefor a year and they finally decided,
you know what, this is ridiculous.
We're paying property taxes, we'repaying utility bills, we're draining
the estate for carrying costs,and we need to make this change.

(27:07):
But they could not, could not bringthemselves to go through the item.
Yeah.
I'm like, I get it.
So we pack hired movers, packed upeverything and put it in storage.
So, but putting it in storage wasless expensive than maintaining
the entire home of, for insurances,taxes, all of those things.
It made financial sense for themto go storage and to deal with

(27:32):
the, the sentimental piece of itat a later date, but they were
still be able to get out from underthe, the curing costs of the home.
So does it go into storage?
Do you sell, do you donate?
Do you throw it away if you'rethrowing it away, like, am I
loading garbage bags in my car?
Is there a, a dumpster service?
Like where, you know, all of those things.

(27:53):
Um, finances is anotherthing that slows them down.
Like, Hey, I don't, I don't even knowwhat I can get for this house to even
think about moving into another situation.
Um.
You know, what does that look like?
Am I gonna have to do costly repairsto my home to get it ready for market?
Will anybody buy it as is?
Um, as a, as a real estate agent,when I go to someone's home and we're

(28:16):
talking about how we net the mostamount of money, I'm going to give
them all the things they need todo to net the most amount of money.
That's not always the goal.
It's not the most amount of money,it may be ease of the transaction.
And I immediately, like, it'salways in the back of my mind and I
generally never end up getting there.
And now I'm forcing myself to get there.
Is that there are individuals out therethat will buy a house full of stuff.

(28:39):
It does not have to all be cleared out.
Is it ideal to have it all cleared out?
Sure.
But if you are in a financial situationwhere that's just not possible, somebody
might buy it, they'll buy it all right.
It's how you package it put together.
That's, that is a, that's,that's a real solution for sure.
It is.
And it's a solution that not Imyself wasn't getting to, but now,

(28:59):
you know, being immersed in it,I'm like, uh, clearly there are
investors, there are there, and itdoesn't even have to be an investor.
People immediately think, oh,it's gonna be a low ball investor.
No, there are all kinds of people.
Think about how hard it is to buya house in the market right now.
Um, it might be a little easier now,market shifting a bit, but there are
pockets where you're, you know, multipleoffers and writing over asking challenge

(29:21):
properties are, are more, you know,people are more open to challenge
properties now than they ever have been.
I, I believe so.
There might be somebody to buy a,a house full of stuff and like it.
And like that they getto go through this stuff.
Yeah.
Um, so that you don't have to, so bunchof stuff, um, slowing people down and
as a realtor, I, I, I feel it is my dutyto fill the gaps with these solutions

(29:45):
for individuals so that it's not sooverwhelming so that they're not so taxed.
Um, my, myself and my four siblings,um, immersed in caretaking, we were
24 7 caretakers, so we were living.
With my, um, we were going therefour times a day when my mom and
dad were still living in their home.
Um, and then, uh, when my dad passed,um, there was no way my mother

(30:09):
could take care of her herself.
So we went into 24 7 care.
Um, and it was all consuming and, um, ittook a huge toll on our lives personally.
Um, my career as a real estateagent, I had to pull back.
And John, we've workedthrough, through all of that.
Um, you know, it, it.
It kind of ceased a lot of things.

(30:31):
Mm-hmm.
And now coming up out of it, I'mlike, wow, there is such a need
for all of this information.
And if I had a playbook that I couldlook at and say, these are some of the
obstacles that are going to be in frontof me, I, I would've been more prepared.
Um, nobody prepares you fully for whatyou're about to go into, but I definitely

(30:52):
would've had some resources to tap intoand say, Hey, let's, let's look into this.
We were kind of left with this.
Okay, this is what's going on andkind of sink or swim kind of thing.
And as siblings, one person wouldstart sinking and the other person
would have to show up, right?
And, um, and it, it went throughall of us at some point in time to

(31:13):
having to navigate those waters.
So, um, just a, just a huge need forthis information be put in place.
Um, another thing, you know, can youeven sell, um, we talked about probate.
We talked about thistransfer on death affidavit.
Um, I found in my business practicewhere back in the day, husbands

(31:34):
and wives were not on the deed.
Mm-hmm.
They weren't on the purchase.
It was typically the mister, itwas typically the mister that,
um, signed off on the dotted lineand the house was in their names.
'cause a lot of times it was,uh, the MR was the one working.
The MR was the one with, and it was nevereven thought of to put mom on there.
So the unfortunate part iswe, we have situations where.

(31:57):
Dad passes.
Mom can no longer take care ofthe home and mom doesn't have the
legal right to sell the house.
Mm. 'cause she's not on the deed.
Now in, depending onwhat state you're in, uh.
Ohio is a dower state, andwe can talk about that later.
But at any rate, you have somerights as the spouse, so nobody's

(32:19):
gonna kick you out of that home.
But when it comes time for you needingto sell, because the house is just
too much for you to manage, um, themom didn't have a right to sell, and
that house had to go through probate,and a probate court had to give.
The mother that's lived in that houseforever, married to that husband
for 60 some odd years, a court hadto give her permission to be able

(32:40):
to sell that house, and then thecourt got money for doing that.
Yeah.
I, um, just miserable.
So, um, you know, do theyhave the, the ability to sell?
Is there survivorship language?
In their deed is momand dad both on there?
And in what it says, if one passesthe other one has full, full
ownership in that house, right?

(33:02):
And once again, that transfer ondeath affidavit needs to be filed.
That says that, um, you know, andthen God forbid, like for us, we lost
both of them in a year and a half.
So we had survivorship language onthe deed for, um, both of my parents.
But then if something happened tomy mom, there was nothing anywhere

(33:22):
that said what was gonna happenwith the house outside of the will.
We had the will, but nothing else.
So we got together as afamily and said, okay.
We need to make sure that this housegoes to us if something happens to mom.
So we contacted who we neededto contact to, and in this
case it was my title company.
And they had an attorney on staffthat could handle all of that.

(33:44):
And we didn't have to go find, youknow, a state attorney and whatnot.
Um, and we were able to do that and sureenough, my mom passed and now, you know,
we are the proud owners of that home.
But now we have the legal rightto be able to do with what
we see fit with that house.
We don't have to wait six months fora court to tell us what we can do.
Right.
Um, we also have, youknow, situations where.

(34:09):
Family members, you know, you may havea will that says the house goes to X
person, but you have a caretaker thattook care of the person that passed
for five years and the person thatthe house is willed to had nothing to
do with taking care of mom and dad.
Mm-hmm.
Now you have strife in the family.
Yes.
And that's another piece of thisis that if, if you wanna see, um,

(34:32):
your family be torn apart, don'tdo anything I'm talking about.
Right.
Sit on your hands and don't do anything.
You will, you will for suretear your family apart by
not addressing these things.
Um, yeah.
That even the tightest, closestknit families that have never had
an issue, never had a bump in theroad, you, you will have an issue.
You will.
Yeah.
You dang sure will.
Right?

(34:53):
You absolutely will.
You know, I think it takes, um,obviously somebody that, that can
kind of lead and navigate throughthat is, is so, so critical.
Renee, you know.
As a real estate agent and encounteringthis, what are, you know, what, what

(35:13):
should real estate agents do whenthey walk into a situation like this?
Like what, what's the assessment?
You know, what, you know, theintel, you know, the discovery time.
How should agents, when theywalk into to a situation like
this, how should they handle it?
Yeah.
Um, who has ownership?

(35:34):
It's a, it's a very first thing you needto look at is who, who owns this home?
Because oftentimes we're calledby someone who does not have
a legal interest in that home.
Um, and as real estate agents, we canonly sign listing agreements with the
people that have the right to, to do that.
So we need to figureout where ownership is.
Okay.
Um, once we figure out where ownership is.

(35:56):
We then have to ask the questions like, isthere survivorship language in the deed?
Like, what is your goal?
Um, you know, if, if dad is on, andoftentimes we get those calls when,
um, one or the other is kind of at,excuse the term, but at death store.
Um, so they're, they're tryingto pre-plan, but pre-planned
in a very short window.

(36:17):
So then the question becomes,Hey, is there anything in in place
that allows this to transfer to.
Mom or to dad, you know, is theresurvivorship language there?
And then, um, we cannot practice law.
We're real estate agents, so we needto have a, some relationships with some

(36:37):
attorneys that you, that you like andtrust much like everybody does business
with us, you know, know, like, and trust.
Um, that will help them navigate throughthe things that you legally should
not be helping them navigate through.
Um.
And that could be achievedthrough your title companies.
If you, if you're a title company,state, if you're an attorney
state, you know, you can start withbuilding those relationships there.

(36:59):
Like, hey, who are, who do you guys workwith to handle these types of things?
Um, and then what's the goal?
You know, when you're walking intothat, many people are like, well,
we just need to sell the house.
Okay, so do we need to sell thehouse because we need to extrapolate
the most amount of money we can.
To continue to care for a loved one.

(37:20):
Um, do we need to, to sell the house asquickly as we can so that the, the, the,
the people that the surviving people stillhave the ability to do what they're doing.
You know, are we trying to sellthe house before the POA goes away?
Because then we know wehaven't planned Yeah.
Everything to, you know, is that the goal?
There's so many qualifying questions.

(37:42):
Um.
And, and then it's, you know, who'sgonna be the point person is the
point person, the legal authority.
Um, 'cause that's not always the case.
You have somebody who lives out ofstate, that's the legal authority, but
the point person lives in state andyou're gonna, you know, uh, do we have
expressed permission to deal with that?
You know, that, that, that person, um.

(38:04):
Y you need to be to, to make surethat you're advising them and you're
talking to the correct individuals.
Um, does it need to bea, a group conversation?
Like, Hey, like for, for,for us, there's five of us.
We all have a fifth ownership.
Yeah.
At home.
So there's five individuals that aregonna have five different opinions.

(38:25):
Yeah, five different, um, youknow, goals you need to figure out
and get a common ground, um, andtry to keep that common ground.
So as a real estate agent,you need to ask, you know, how
many people am I dealing with?
Do I have contactinformation for all of them?
And can we get on a group situation?
Because having one-on-one conversationswith each, each one of those

(38:48):
five, I will tell you that gameof telephone is a dangerous game.
Yeah, everyone will have their owninterpretation, even though you've
said it the same way to all five.
They'll all have their, all inin their own interpretation.
Just what they're dealingwith, what their, yeah.
Kind of their thought process,the way they're viewing things.
It, it can be interpreted so manydifferent ways and I think that's,
that's super, super important.

(39:09):
And, you know, stay stays helped,you know, with, with my, my dad's
house, my sister was the point.
However, obviously.
You know, we wanted to be in the loop.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and, and so, you know, sta justincluded us on everything and he's
like, listen, I'll, I'll, I'll talkto your sister when I'm talking,

(39:30):
but when I need to update, I'm justgonna send an email out to everybody.
Mm-hmm.
And you know, we were good.
We were all good with that, but.
You know, I, I agree a hundred percent.
Right.
I love, I love that.
Who's, who's, who's the point andwho's all involved in let and how
do y'all wanna be communicated with?
Yes.
And then for the person, the one person,'cause typically it's one, it might

(39:52):
be many, but typically there's a, youknow, there's, um, the person with the
POA or there's the person that's theexecutor of the estate, or there's the
person that's the trustee for the estate.
You kind of need to be the voice forthat person and express so that it's
not just coming from that person.
'cause it might be difficult, youknow, you've got a bunch of siblings
and you're the one saying, well, I'mthe one with the legal authority,

(40:14):
so I'm the one that has to sign onthe dotted line so I get final say.
Right?
That might be a difficult thing andmay not be taken very, very easily.
So as the real estate agent, you needto be, and it's just transparent.
It's like, hey, I am perfectlycomfortable with this group situation.
Just know that,

(40:35):
sorry, I just had something pop up.
Um, just know that when it comes downto it with the legal portion of this,
I can only have this person signing andthis person be communicated with because
you're not parties to the contract.
Yeah, right.
So good.
But you, but you need to putit out there for that person.
'cause that person's gonna get beat up.

(40:56):
They just are.
Then you need to be the buffer.
Yeah.
For them.
I love that.
So yeah, it, it is.
Um, and, and.
Just the amount thatis happening out there.
There's a term out thereand everybody's heard it.
And if you haven't then um, you will,but it's, it's the silver tsunami, right?
I, I don't like the term,I think it's negative.

(41:18):
Some of the people that are inthat age group don't like that
negative con connotation either.
But it is real.
Yeah, it is very, very real.
Um, and these individuals tend to, youknow, we've got, we've got families where.
There's a lot of wealth that'sbeing transferred, and then you've
got families where there's nothing.

(41:39):
Right?
So you've got loved ones that aregonna have to come up with their
own money to get this across thefinish line, which is extremely
difficult for some people, you know?
Yeah.
They're we're, they're inthis, this panini generation.
This is me, this is you,John, where we still got.
Kids, little ones that we'retrying to take care of.
We've got aging parents and we'rejust being squeezed from both sides.

(42:01):
Um, they're still trying to runhouseholds, they're still trying
to take care of all those things.
Um, it is a, it is a huge void.
It's, it's hugely happening and there'sa void in resources and, um, being people
being able to tap into the right things.
They're just Googling andthey're falling into picking
the probate attorney out of the.
The Google search.

(42:22):
Yeah.
Or you know, and I, I think too,you know, from, from an agent
perspective, if, if you don't havethe emotional wherewithal to handle
this, then find an agent that can.
But if you, if you are equipped.
You have to, you, you have to like,deploy the most amount of empathy

(42:42):
that you possibly can because ofthe situation they're going through.
You're, you're coming in business.
Remember, like what we talkedabout in the beginning is that
like this is an emotional market.
This is a whole nother level of emotions.
And, and so being, being an agent,if you're not equipped to emotionally
handle a highly emotional situation.

(43:05):
Then make sure you refer andfind an agent that can, to me,
that is like a non-negotiable.
You gotta be wired and some people justaren't wired that way, and that's okay.
But you have to understand and,and just, just like have patience
and, and a lot of empathy.
But you also have to lead thesituation because like you

(43:28):
said, there are some that.
Become paralyzed with the situation.
'cause they don't, they don't knowhow to deal with it or process it.
So you do have to have a level, a levelof leadership to lead through this.
And you know, like even, even for me, youknow, thank goodness for Stace and, and,
and how he leads and navigates, right?

(43:49):
And so I had to, I had to remind, youknow, the family a couple times, I'm
like, listen, there's nobody better.
To handle this situation thanhim, like let him do his job.
And, and he did, he did his job,you know, like he always does.
And, and so, um, and, and he can also,you know, have the empathy there as well.

(44:13):
So that, that would be my recommendation.
And I mean, you're the best atthis and this is why you're,
you're talking about this and.
I, I, I really believe that if you'renot equipped, don't try to go into it.
Get some help.
Get somebody to, to ride and,and maybe co list it with you to
navigate, to help navigate through it.
Because I mean, there's times when.

(44:36):
I'm sure you wish youhad somebody to help you.
Yeah.
Kind of even navigatethe situation as well.
And a hundred percent.
And, and look, that doesn't necessarilymean that it can't be transactional.
You know, we've got transactionalagents, we've got relational agents.
Um, it doesn't mean that somebodythat's a transactional agent can't
handle these types of situationsbecause there are times where.
Strictly transactional.

(44:56):
You know, you've got that justfrontal person and they're
just like, I don't care.
Like we just, we need to getthis thing sold and we need
to get this taken care of.
And, and that's gonna fall right inline with that transactional agent.
Mm-hmm.
But you're absolutely right When you, whenyou enter that situation where you've got
somebody who is selling the family homethat has 50 years of memories there and
losing that her, you know, selling thathome is like losing another loved one.

(45:18):
Um, 'cause that's what it's likeguys, these, these people have so
many deep rooted memories in these.
In these homes that it's like losinga person when they have to sell it.
Um, and you know, we who've gotpeople that say, well, maybe we'll
buy it, like maybe we'll hold onto it.
There's a whole navigationthrough that and you need to
be prepared for those emotions.

(45:38):
And you know what, those of us who are.
Actively selling real estate.
Like, great, we've got somebodywho's selling a house, they've
gotta go move into another.
There's two transactions there.
There's, you know, these typesof transactions are typically,
it's a, it's a one situation.
We're selling the home becausemom and dad are out or gone.
It's a one transaction thing.
So you're having to build these,these relationships and you

(46:01):
know that these family members,the way that you treat them.
It is going to be the way for you tobuild those relationships for life and
be the only go-to person that they everthink of going to for these types of
real estate transactions because youwere able to help them navigate one
of the hardest times in their lives.
You know, we've got people that specializein divorce situations, people that you
know, specialize in upsizing, rightsizing, whatever it is that you do.

(46:25):
It comes with.
The, the you, you need tohave that aptitude to be able
to, to navigate those waters.
And I'm telling you, this type ofbusiness is very choppy, choppy waters.
And it can start off great andeverybody's on the same page and it's
all kumbaya and, no, no, no, that's fine.
My brother can take the pointon this and then all of a sudden
something happens in the middle.

(46:45):
Yeah.
And all of a sudden personalities changea little bit and you start seeing these
things come out and you know, the watergets choppy and you need to be able to
go in there and, and level out thosewaters again and be the calm in the storm.
It's not always easy.
Um, I, going through thismyself, hugely emotional person.
I'm a super high eye person, person.

(47:06):
I'm an impasse, so I take ineverybody's emotions as well.
Um, and, and I too was like,wow, is this really something?
That I want to be doing and I keepgetting pulled into it and by pulled into
it, you know, people continue to reachout and it's because there's a void.
And I, I now know in my entire beingthat this is what I need to be doing.

(47:30):
Mm-hmm.
This is the people that I need tobe helping and if I can help one
person avoid having to get, gothrough probate or one person, get
their family to a better situationbefore the worst happens, I'm all in.
Um, and that's down to, you know,getting to know the assisted
living places in your area, like.

(47:51):
Know where they're at.
Mm-hmm.
Um, know what they specialize in.
Not every as assisted living or,or you know, people call them
nursing homes, people call them,whatever you wanna call them.
They don't all have memory care.
Do you know how many peopleare diagnosed with dementia?
Or different forms of dementia.
Yeah.
In the, in, in the world it is, is rampantand a lot of the centers, a lot of the

(48:15):
places out there do not have memory care.
Mm-hmm.
So now you've got somebody with a lovedone that has dementia or Alzheimer's
or the different types of dementiasthere, and they don't, they're having
to take them to a place that's an hourand a half away from where they live.
Mm. Because that is the onlyplace that can service their care.
That is a different stressorfor that individual.

(48:36):
So when they're going through havingto sell the home to, to be able to
afford the funds that it's goingto take for that person to get the
care that they need, they're noweven to visit mom or dad, they're
having to travel an hour and a half.
Um, when you get them on the phone,there's definitely a different grace
that you need to give those individualsbecause of what they're going through.

(49:00):
And you need to understand that youneed to show up with that grace on the
regular, even if they're a little short,even if they're a little snappier.
Punchy.
Yeah.
You need to figure out how to,you know, reign that in and say,
look, I, I can't even imagine whatthese people are going through.
My goal.
Is to make this easier for them and getto an outcome that allows everybody to
live in harmony and, and be taken careof the way they need to be taken care of.

(49:23):
I've watched families be devastatedby the financial strain mm-hmm.
Um, of having to navigate that.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And yeah, it is, it's, um, itcan definitely shift things.
I mean, it's already a shift, right?
Losing, losing a parent or youknow, somebody in, in the situation
and yeah, it, it definitely.
Shifts everything.

(49:44):
So, um, a hundred percent spot on.
Renee, you are absolutely amazing.
How can somebody get in contact withyou to get the information, get the
resources, get the things that they needto be able to, to navigate these waters?
Sure.
So I'm on all the social media.
Um, I am Renee at the RSVP group,uh, pretty much everywhere.

(50:05):
Renee Velasquez, um, on, um, Facebook.
You can call me.
My number is (330) 321-3339.
You can shoot me a text.
Um, I, obviously there's such a hugeneed for this and I'm, I'm fielding phone
calls on the regular about these things.
If it takes me, you know, a day to getback to, you know, that I absolutely will.

(50:28):
And, um.
I mean, my, my closing thoughtsare, you know, again, 17% of all
purchases made in United Statesare multi-generational housing.
Um, and it's because the cost of takingcare of an aging loved one is so great.
Yeah.
That they're moving in with each other.
That's the only solution for most it is.
So as real estate agents, you needto know what's available, what

(50:49):
kind of multi-generational housingis there, are there duplexes?
Are there this, are there that Airbnbs.
I've had, I own Airbnbs.
I've had people stay with me thatwere on their end journey of life
and they, they needed to do that ina central location outside of, of
the, their current living situation.

(51:11):
Um, there are so many different avenuesto go down this, that, um, the, the,
there are solutions and you don't need tocome up against that brick wall and say,
well, we just need to let the house go.
Yeah.
Um, because you don't.
Yeah, so call me, text me, email me.
Uh, my email's Renee at the RSAP group.
Um, but thank you so much for lettingme talk about my story and getting

(51:33):
this message out because it isabsolutely needed in this marketplace.
And people need a, a resource to turn to.
And, um, we need to be able to turn themto, in the right, in the right places,
and not send them down the, the dark,the dark, you know, rabbit trails that
this, this type of situation can cause.
I agree a hundred percent.
You're amazing guys.
Make sure get connected withRenee and, uh, make sure, um,

(51:55):
'cause you as, as a real estateagent, you will deal with this.
It is, it is going to, to happen andyou need to know how to handle it
like a, like a true professional.
So, yep, absolutely.
Thanks.
Thanks, thanks guys.
We'll.
Bye.
Thanks for tuning in.
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