October 12, 2025 • 48 mins
Brenda’s finale follows the last mile of her childfree journey: pushing past healthcare gatekeeping to access sterilization, what true informed consent looked like, recovery, the unexpected discovery of a retroverted uterus (and pain relief after it was corrected), and the quiet peace that came with making a choice that fits her life. She also reflects on dignity in maternal spaces, conversations with family, and what autonomy has meant for love, sex, and community. In this episode:
New episodes every Monday.
- From “no” after “no” to finally accessing sterilization
- What respectful, consent-centered care looks like
- Recovery, relief, and the feeling of peace
- Retroverted uterus: naming it, fixing it, reducing pain
- Family conversations, community, and building a life by choice
- Shifting from survival to sustainable success
- Separating business & personal finances
- Budgeting with unpredictable income
- Multiple income streams
- Investing with irregular income
- Retirement planning for entrepreneurs
When: Sat 25 Oct, 9:00 AM–12:00 NOON (EAT)
Tickets: Ksh 1,000 here: https://legallycluelessafrica.hustlesasa.shop/products/68e77e4e1f5d0c1f082da173
- Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/
- TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica
- YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
- Share your story: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
New episodes every Monday.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is adele On Youngle and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one. Hey, Welcome to episode three hundred and forty
seven of Legally Clueless. This is what's coming up now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Breaking the news to my mom, I have not because
I remember the relationship I was in before I got sterilized,
actually when I got sterilized, because it was before, during,
and after. He thought I would change my mind, if anything.
He was very sure of it, but he never shared
with me that beforehand. We had had the conversation literally,
(00:40):
I think the second day I met him, and I'm like, ohso,
and in case you're looking for children, or you're looking
for something long term in the line of having children,
it will not be me. When I got the appointment
to go for the procedure, initially didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We have come to the final part of Brenda's story
and I can't wait for you to listen to it.
She's an incredible storyteller, but an even more inspiring young woman.
But before we get there, thank you so much for
pressing play and becoming part of this community where we
document African stories, we walk our healing journey, and we
do it shamelessly. If this is your first time here
(01:22):
or your episodes of this particular show, God every single
Monday on Wednesdays we have the mid Victis. On Thursdays,
we have Four Mannerless Women, and very soon on Friday,
our seasonal show Ask a Therapist will be back. You
can catch all our past episodes of all our four
shows one, two, three, four years four shows on all
(01:43):
our podcast platforms, and you can watch our shows as
well on our YouTube channel. It's linked in the show notes.
If you're an OG member, I've got nothing but love, love,
love for you, and something exciting is happening, and I
think it's something that will benefit not only me, but
you as well. Okay, So before we get into today's story,
on Saturday, the twenty fifth of October, we're going to
(02:05):
be hosting a wellness talk that is all about smart
money strategies for entrepreneurs and freelancers. So, if you are
a content creator, if you are a business owner, if
you are thinking of leaving employment, this is a master
tent because one of my favorite Kenyon Money educators, Susan
(02:27):
wan Juku is going to be our speaker. And what
I love about Susan is whenever this is like the
third time she's spoken at our wellness talks, she's always
very practical. She always gives the best tools. In fact,
her budgeting tool that she gave us in the last
wellness talk is the one I still use now. And
I'm excited about this because when I left employment, which
(02:49):
is in twenty eighteen, a lot of the products that
could help you build wealth or build financial stability were
really geared for employed people. To be very honest, if
you are thinking about investing, if you're thinking about getting alone,
even conversations around budgeting, it always assumed that you were
(03:11):
getting a guaranteed income every month, which we know for
entrepreneurs such as myself, for freelancers, for content creators, for
anybody who's not an employment, that's not the case, right,
But that doesn't mean that on this side of things,
we can't build wealth, we can't plan for our retirement,
we can't make investments. Yes we can, and it doesn't
(03:34):
mean in fact, there's this you know, whenever you ask
somebody house business and they're all like, oh, you know,
it's difficult I actually started changing my language around it
because one of our board members constantly asks me whenever
I'm like going on and on about how hard business is,
He's always like, what isn't hard? And to be honest,
(03:54):
when I think about my employment days, I'm like, yeah,
it was hella had hella hard. So I'm excited about
this wellness talks because one of the topics we're going
to be covering is shifting our mindset from survival to
sustainable success. So can we move from just like living
paycheck to paycheck to actually having sustainable, comforting come financial success.
(04:21):
Susan is also going to be working us through what
I think is one of the most important steps separating
business and personal finances. She's also going to talk to
us about how do you budget when you have unpredictable income?
Skido goohad right, but it's possible. She's going to talk
to us about within our business, within our freelancing, within
(04:43):
the content creation, can we build multiple streams of income
because that will go a long way when it comes
to sustainability. Can we invest even with irregular income? Yes
we can, And Susan's going to teach us how to
And she's also going to talk about retire and planning
for entrepreneurs and for freelancers, it is possible. These are
(05:06):
not only things that are for employed people, and so
I want you to attend. We always make sure our
wellness talks can add to your wellness, and we look
at wellness as financial, physical and mental. So clearly we're
ending the year looking at our money, so that come January, yeah,
we started right. It's a virtual session, so that wherever
(05:28):
you are in the world, curve out time and attend.
It's from nine am to twelve noon East Africa time,
and tickets are only one thousand bob. For the wealth
of knowledge that Susan wan Driku has, one thousand bob
is a steal. Trust me, grab your tickets right now.
(05:50):
There is a link in the show notes. And of
course remember they're limited because we always try and make
sure the talks are intimate enough for everybody to ask
their questions. So if I were you, I would grab
my ticket now before we close our ticket portal. And
you know us here we're very strict. I think I
saw last week for our group therapy. I told you
(06:13):
Thursday we are closing our ticket portal. I don't know
why sometimes you don't want to believe me, because come Friday,
there were very many people saying, hey, hey, can we
I'm like, no, we closed it so that we can
prepare adequately before the actual day. So don't wait for
us to close this ticket portal, because once it's closed,
(06:36):
this opportunity passes you by. However, if you know somebody
in your life who is an entrepreneur, who's a freelancer,
who wants to be a content creator, who wants to
quit their job and move to this side of life,
please share our wellness talk with them. It will go
a long way. Trust me, I wish when I was
(06:56):
starting my business I had a resource like this. They
would have been a lot of mistakes I would have
avoided and a lot of heartache. But anyway, link is
in the show notes. Right now, we are arriving at
part three and the final part of Brenda's series or
Branda's story, So a bit of a recap and if
(07:16):
you've not listened to episode three forty five three forty six,
you might want to go back and listen because if
you don't, you'll be floating. But three forty five, part one,
we met Brenda growing up in mehru huge community of
family around her who began questioning hmm and assuming that
motherhood must automatically be in her destiny. Then came Part two.
(07:39):
We followed her into her getting to understand her body
a bit better, trying to understand contraception, experiencing the stigma
around tampon's how crazy was that? And around abortion, and
just the power of finding a child free community where
she felled less off quad and like she belonged, you know.
(08:03):
And now we're in part three. She finally has access
to a sterilization procedure. Will she go through it? Listen
up a hundred African stories are legally clueless stories from Africa.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Came back to Naerobe and got another job. They announced
that they were having those programs and they were in
government facilities in Naierobi, and I was like, I don't
care what I need to do to get live from work,
but I am going to get live. And of course
being in that space and with other people, they were like, oh,
(08:46):
you need a couple of days to recover, so perhaps
take a week. I went to my boss and I
explained it. I didn't say what I was going to do,
but I said, oh, I'm going to get a procedure
done and I'm going to need a few days to cover.
A few days is a week. And that was when
she had it's a proceed gender and she was like, okay,
(09:07):
that's you don't need to tell me what it is
because it's your business and your doctors, so yeah, you
can go. I was like, yes, thank you. I went
and called Marrie Stops again and I was like, so,
I'm interested in this outreach that you have talked about
and I want to go. And I expected them to
interrogate me and be like hmm, so how old are
(09:28):
you again? Why do you want to do it? Are
you sure? The one was on the phone did not.
She was like oh okay, what's your name? Told her
how old are you? Told her? And where would you
like to go? Because they had advertised for different facilities.
So I was like, yeah, I want to go to
(09:49):
At the time, it was car Our West Health Center.
I want to go to car West and she was
like okay, that's okay. I was like that's it. She
was like, yes, that's it. You want you will show
up on day and she gave me a time slot.
So it was literally the next week she was like, yeah,
so you just come in that entire week. Do you
know when you have something on your mind, it's almost
feels like you cannot breathe, you cannot think, you cannot
(10:13):
do anything. It's the only thing that it's in your mind.
I'm thinking, oh my god, Okay, so I need to prepare.
So I read everything I could read about it, and
the women who said carry a pillows so that you
can place it on your belly in the car so
that when it goes on pumps you don't feel it.
You're not going to have any costung for like the
first three days. So I knew I need to have
(10:34):
food prepped, I need to have someone to drive me,
I need to all the things. I was like, Okay,
I'm read hopefully hopefully that doctor doesn't send me back
home when they see me. And then also, I am
a little thing. Whether I'm in a five, three and
fifty unks on a good day, I have a baby face,
so when everyone sees me, they think I am younger
(10:56):
than I am. So I was like, that doctor is
going to look at me and think that I am
twenty two and send me back anyway, So that day
came and I went in Ali because I was like,
I need to be there, and the times was that
I was given I can't miss it or at rist
I can't miss it because of something that I did.
So I got there, people are just walking in and
walking in, and so I went to There was a
(11:18):
nurse who was registering people on this book and I
went to it and I'm like, okay, so I'm here
for the Marie Stops thing. So now the good thing
was they were also giving contraception out to women, like
the normal ones that are not long term. And she
was like, oh, you're you're the smart girls. I was
like huh. I was like, yeah, you should take charge
(11:41):
of your health. You cannot have a baby, you can't trace,
you should be ready and you know, things like these
are good for you because you get to have quality
services for free. I was like, yes, I am like
I hope with that least they are not writing who
is going to get an implant and who is going
to get there? You side, because that you're the smart
girls is going to change so fast that she didn't.
(12:03):
She was like, so tell me your name and your
agent and this is where you sit. I was like, really,
my name and my agent. That is where I sit.
So we were seated in the maternity section, like the
new bond section where women would come in with their
new bones to have them get vaccines and get checked
and all that. So that's the place we were seated.
And one thing I lover forget is the way people
(12:25):
treat women with children. We have a society that will
go on and on about the value of motherhood, how
it's a blessing, but then when it comes to the
things that matter, they don't translate to that. Because we
were sitated there and these mothers are like literally new bones,
like their first appointment back at the hospital. And this
nurse stands up and he starts talking to the women
(12:48):
and telling them about also the married Stops program if
they want to get on contraception. He finished, He was
like alorful kakujaku kayo sindano when the moon because as
I come on, now you're theah quat. I don't think
I've ever gassed that route. That means so then some
of you are going to refuse to get this injunction.
(13:10):
By injunction, I guess meant the contraception from Mary Stops.
They're doing it for free. Then You're going to go
back home and give birth like dogs, and that man
is going to leave you in. All the people that
were seated there, and especially the moms who are the
newborn babies, they didn't even react. I literally gasped when
that man looked at me. I'm like, but why are
they silent? Is this a thing? This being degraded and
(13:34):
insulted for what? For having the best thing that apparently
supposed to happen to you? This is what women are
made for. This is what women are supposed to be,
but this is what also they are treated like for
doing what people say they should do. I literally sat
there and I was like, what what or off? Anyway? Now,
the government facility people and the moms and the babies
(13:55):
that are being given their vaccines and checked and all that,
they continuing doing their thing, and we who are coming
for the Marry Stops thing sat down and waited. Eventually,
the Marry Stops doctors and the other people when the
program came in, they talked us through the different procedures
they had and they said, whoever is coming here for
short term contraception should sit on the side, and then
(14:19):
the people want to have their surgeries down today they
should sit on the other side. And I was the
youngest of the group. And the problem is I looked it.
So a lot of the people are looking at me, like,
did you sit on the wrong side? I just sat.
They were doing the procedures according to who came in when.
So I was the third one when it was my turn,
(14:41):
and this doctor came in and caught me and then
took me aside and gave me the forms. And she's like,
so you're going to sign here, and sign here and
sign here. So what's your name, what's your age? Do
you have any pre existing conditions? Are you taking any
medicine that we should be aware of? Have you ever
had surgery done before? And she was asking this normal
question that would be asked as such a procedure, And me,
(15:05):
I am waiting to be grilled. I'm waiting to explain myself.
If anything. I had the points in my head lined up.
This is why I want this, this is why I'm sure,
this is how I know I will not change my mind.
And even if I did, I wouldn't blame you. I
had all these things to say, and she didn't ask
a single questions about those things. She was like, oh,
did you have your pleasure taken? And I was like
(15:28):
really and she was like, oh, so, and you signed
here and I took the film and I'm like, is
that it? And she was like yes. I'm like, so
you're not going to interrogate me. She was like no,
I'm like really and she was like yes, and she's like, oh,
you're a grown woman and you're here, so you know
what you want to know. It's just like you are
lost or something. I'm like, no, it's I'm not lost.
(15:50):
And I asked I'm sure. She was like that's it,
and she just sit and waits and I signed the phone,
gave it back and I started and waited, and then
it was my time and I walked in and that
doctor was signing my films and there was a nurse
and that was I don't know if he was a
doctor or nurse either, but he was there too. They
(16:11):
were like oh, So they explained the procedure to me.
They were like, so we're going to name you, and
actually you don't need like the full anesthetics that takes
someone out. We're just going to name you from your
waist down and then we're going to make an incision
just above your pubic bone, and and this should take
like at most forty five minutes. I was like really,
(16:32):
I was in my minum and this this other doctor
was like really, well, like didn't want to change your men?
I'm like, no, I don't. I'm just wondering could it
be this easy? Like it's almost like it's too easy.
I'm like, it's just I have been looking for a
doctor at that point for three years, because I was
twenty eight for three years and then I just walk
(16:53):
in today, signed some forms and then I'm here, what
can you And he was like, so it's slide down
on this. It wasn't that table. It was one of
those surgery beds that look like they're going to torture
you on it or something. But he's like, you just
laid out here and we're going to start with an antibiotic.
(17:14):
I think it was because I was given two injections,
and the one they said was to prevent infection. I
don't remember. The other one was exactly for what. They
started numbing me and they're like, so they would poke
me and they're like, do you feel that. I'm like no, no,
I don't like and we are starting like, oh my god,
I wish you a way. I wished there was a
mirror above me or a camera or something, because I
(17:37):
wanted to see it for myself because I couldn't believe it.
I'm like, I want to make sure I know it's
this doctor. Are you sure you're going to tie on
both sides and cut out the middle? But are you sure?
And yes, I am going to do exactly that. And
the other doctor, the one who was in my phone,
she was laughing because she thinks it's a joke, and
she's like, and the way I'm going to do it.
(17:58):
By it was on a She's like, by Saturday, you're
going to be hoping and skipping outside. I was like,
you're lying. I think I'm going to be in pain
for a week. She was like, you're not. You're not
going to be in pain for a week. The way
I'm going to do it, you're going to be hoping
and skeeping now because they're anesthetic is halfway. And also
they numb the upper layers of the skin before they
(18:20):
get inside, so you don't feel the insasions. But it
kind of feels weird when they're looking for the tubes
because they have to. I guess, move a few things
around in there to get to them. It's the weirdest
feeling ever. It almost feels like bad hiccups in your belly.
I don't even know how to say. It's that feeling
you want to hiccup but not, but someone is doing
(18:42):
it in your It feels so weird. But I remember thinking,
oh my god, I cannot believe this is happening to
me for free. In the easiest way possible that I could.
I couldn't even have thought of it. And she was like, oh,
so yeah, isolating the tube. There's this tube number one,
and then you're going to name it again. And now
(19:02):
I'm tying off the end and then I'm cutting and
then she's like, okay, that's done. So we go to
the other side. In a way, it feels like out
of body experience, like I was watching them do it
to someone else, like I was not present they did it.
And then she was like, and now you're done, so
I'm going to sew you up, Like okay, she did
saw me up, And she's like, and now you're going
(19:23):
to take you to the world so that you can recover,
and then I'm going to come back later check on
you and then you're going to discharge you and you
go home, like, are you sure you did it? Now
it's a government hospital, or rather it's a government health
it's called on health and health center. There's different classifications
for that, and they don't have a thousand different words,
(19:44):
or even ten different ones or even five. Eventually you
have two or three the men's one, the women's one,
and maternity. So the theater room was just on the
corner of maternity, so when they took you from theater,
they would take you to maternity. So they took me
and they had isolated like the corner one of the corners,
(20:06):
and they had like cutting them off to put the
Marrie stops people were operated on on that side. But
then it's a cutting. You can hear and see everything
if you just push it aside. So anyway, my doctor
was like, and also you have to like walk out
by yourself. They're like, you won't go home unless you
(20:28):
can walk. And it's not that you cannot walk, because
I stood up and I'm like, okay, my feet are working,
clearly I can move. And she held my hand and
we went to the bed that they were giving me,
and I stayed there for the that afternoon, and now
problem is comes back to the way people still treat mothers.
(20:48):
So these are women who have just had their babies,
like their babies are literally not even a day old.
Some are not even like three hours old, like they
are new born, newborn, like a new new baby, new baby.
The first thing, I but there was this woman who
I guess was going to the loo, but then she couldn't.
And then they don't have like the toilets where you sit,
they're like the whole in the ground that flashes, and
(21:11):
she couldn't squat down, and she wanted one of the
nurses to help her, and my god, that nurse spoke
and she told her that she was not there to
spoil her. She's not the one who I guess gave
her the baby. And what did she think she was
coming to do? I remember thinking, what, what on earth
is wrong with these people? Anyway? We could hear her
(21:34):
crying from the loo. And it's not a big word.
It's literally if I speak from one corner, you can
hear from the next one. It's not like there are
fifty birds. And I remember thinking what anyway, And then
there was another one who literally looked like a child,
and I imagined she was a child and she had
had the baby, and she looked shaken up and confused
(21:57):
and things. There was a nurse who's around injecting something
like the baby spies and this it was literally a
little girl. She was seated there holding her baby. And
then when the nurse came around and he's unwrapping the baby,
the baby started crying and trying to inject the baby.
The baby screams even harder and squaming and all that.
(22:19):
And so this girl, I guess just reacted in trying
to take the baby away from the nurse, and the
reaction that nurse had. He would have thought someone I
don't know did what he I think he would have
slapped out something if people are not there, and he
said the unkindest of things. And she's crying, she's hisstercoled.
(22:41):
Then there was an older woman on the next bedworld
also had a baby. She came and she took the
baby and told the nurse just leave alone when I'm
going to bring you the baby. That means, just go
back to where you are. I'm going to bring you
the baby later. And then she's trying to comfort this
little guy and she's trying to shoot the baby be
and she's trying to tell it's okay, you're going to
(23:02):
be fine. I don't understand how still people go about
saying how much your mother would a gift, how important,
but then they don't care for women who have had
children in that same tone. I just don't get it.
I'm like, what do you mean? And then the way
(23:23):
women were speaking about that facility, they were like, like
your water Kuna nass when atoshaangalia, when I'm told you can.
They give an example of the big hospitals Okaquta better
knew what our dream corp That says that, you know,
(23:44):
it's better here in a small hospital where they're enough
nurses to even look after you. You went to a
big hospital they don't even care. They don't even have
time to look at you. And I was like, so
if this is quality care, then what is not quality?
Because this doesn't seem to me like quality care. It
doesn't seem to me like respect, It doesn't seem to
(24:07):
me like appreciation for life. It doesn't seem to me
like anything good. So when they say this is a
good place, what about the bad ones? My doctor came
back she was like, so are you feeling I was
kind of groggy, and I'd slept a bit and then
woken up again, and she's like, oh, and you need
to also eat some food. And I ate some food
(24:28):
and she's like, so depending on how you're feeling in
the next hour, so you're just going to get dressed
and then you can go home. And she came back
again after that hour, and I was feeling kind of okay.
I wasn't in any pain. Daments they gave me they
were good. I was feeling fine kind of and she
(24:48):
was like, oh, so these are your medication. We have
this painkiller and this antibiotic. You're going to take all
the antibiotics until they are done, but the pinkillers you
take them as needed. It was like, then you can
go home. She was like, oh yeah, and also, don't
wait your baddage and you can remove it after three
days and you should be fine, and in case you're not,
(25:10):
you're supposed to call our number and we will give
you further instruction. And I went home and I was fine.
I was better than fine. I couldn't believe it. I
would literally stand in front of a mirror and run
a finger on my sky and I'm like, oh my god,
I cannot believe it. I literally think it didn't sing
in for like six months. I would still stand there
(25:32):
and I'm like, I actually got this done. I actually
got away to get this done. And I'd say, it's
like the best decision of my life. I cannot explain
the peace of mind. I cannot explain the joy. I
cannot explain. I literally feel like it was my gift,
it was my miracle. It was the bestest thing that
(25:52):
has ever happened to me. And for free. Oh I
didn't even spend a coin. Now breaking the news to
my moum, I have not. I have tried as he tried,
because it has most been successful. I've tried and tried
show have that conversation and started from you remember what
I've been telling you that I am not going to
have children. Okay, So that's how I imagine into my head.
(26:16):
So I went and Scott sterilized. It has not gotten
there because every time we get to the place off
so you remember the children thing and she's like, yeah,
Yeoman and no human na not too you know. She
like she was saying, to resolve itself, and I'd say,
for a long time, and since I was a teenager,
(26:37):
I really thought that we had made progress in terms
of hap believing me, because I found that every time
we would talk about it, she would behave like it
was more important, like I have had that it's fine,
you know. She would just brush it off. So in
my mind, I'm like, oh, she's getting used to this,
(26:58):
while I was wrong because now that I am older,
and now I am I guess in the entrange where
I should be more serious about, you know, husband hunting
and getting a child. When I see it now, she
gets angry, and it's that kind of angry that I
can see it, like if you're in the room with us,
you would feel it, and she will get angry, angry, angry,
(27:22):
And so I'm like, but I thought it. But I
thought after all these years, you would be used to
the idea, you would be more accepting, You would at
least let me talk for three minutes before we have
the reaction. And so we are still at that point
of shall we try this today and see how long
this younger face is going to take before it passes.
(27:45):
So I guess, yeah, I will be time to fight
about that, among other things. So my period. My period
has more changed. As I had said before, there are
different types of procedures, the hysterectomy where the uterasis rem
moved and the tubes, and also there are some women
who have their servix taken out. Then I wouldn't talk
(28:05):
my period because the period is basically the shedding of
the lightning of the uterus. If the uterus is not
present to shed, then there's no blood, there's no period
or on my egg and the tubes are tied and cut,
so that means that the egg doesn't get to the uterus.
But the body has the same reactions because it's hormonal.
(28:28):
So when my homemwanns tell my uterus that I am
supposed to be ovulating, my uterus would react the same
way as you would have when I add my tubes intact.
So I still belied because it's the raining of the
uterus that is still inside of me. So yes, I
do have my period. Nothing has changed pain wise, something
has changed, But then this is a story that we
(28:50):
would need to go back. Okay, As I said, when
my parents and my teachers and aunties and neighbors talked
about period, they never talked about pain. But my period
came with a lot of pain. I was always in pain.
It was excruciating. My back would be on fire. I
would be having crumbs fatigue, my muscles would be aching,
(29:15):
I would have headaches, I would it was terrible. I
couldn't function. I would graduate from one painkiller to another,
where I'd start one painkiller and think, Okay, this is working.
Then three months later it's not doing a thing. Then
I'll continue taking another one, and three months later it's
not working. Something would work for a year or nine months,
(29:36):
then it's not working anymore. And the frustrating part was
going to the hospital and starting from when I was
in high school and everythingle time, I'll just walk in
explain why I'm there. The doctor would be like, you're pregnant.
I'm like, no, I'm not, and they're like okay. They
wouldn't be bive me, of course not. So I'll take
the test and I wouldn't be pregnant. But then after
(29:57):
that they wouldn't follow up. They would behave like I
was seeking attention. Actually one of them said that to me,
and he was like, I think you're just attention seeking.
You don't want to go to school. And I'm like
but I'm already in school. I was in boarding school,
so I'm already in school. So where do I not
want to go? But there would be dismissive like that.
(30:17):
They would give me some painkiller that I was going
to get used to and it's not going to work
in a couple of months and then that's it. One
other one told me that it was in my head.
They're like, I could not have to come my own, like,
there's nothing like that. I'm like, but I am in pain.
I can't function and I can't do anything, and so
actually the doctor would believe me. It would be years later.
(30:39):
I'm in campus and we had like a joint program
where we are working with one of the embassies in
Nairobi for another country and we would take classes in
the embassy. It was once every two weeks. During one
of those classes, I lost consciousness. I was in so
much pain. I couldn't hear a thing, like I was
(31:00):
listed in my mind was like and this instructor kept
coming back to me and I was like, are you okay?
You look off today. I'm like, yeah, just give me
a minute. And at the moment, I'm like I don't
even want to talk. When you go away, and then
I lost consciousness in class and when I came to
they had taken me to a health facility in the
embassy and this doctor was like, okay, so tell me
(31:23):
what's wrong. Are you in pain? Is did you have symptoms?
I'm like, yes, my crams are killing me. And he
was like, I'm sorry that that is not the way
a body should work. Like I know, but I have
always been in this pain and it's the first doctor
was like, okay, so we need to get to the
bottom of this now. And even in getting to the
(31:45):
bottom of that, they really didn't find anything because I
didn't have the usual suspects and meet your sys and
it's god, I don't know what there are a couple
of conditions that they would think that that's the first
suspect that they would suspect if a woman was having
the symptoms I was having. So they were like, yeah,
we're not finding anything. But then he got me on
(32:06):
painkillers that actually worked and that I actually did not
graduate out of. Now going back to the procedure and
they cut me open and this doctor is like, oh,
we can't find your uterus. I laughed, and I'm like,
where could it be, you know, like where could it be?
And she's like, ah, okay, let me let me try
(32:28):
and see. And at some point she's like, okay, I
think we might need to increase the incision site so
that we can see better. But before that, let me
try a different thing. So she I don't know what
she did in there, but she did something. And then
she's like, oh, why didn't you tell me that your
uterus was retroverted? So how would they have known? It
(32:50):
literally means that the uterus should be on the flont
on the front of the baby, either with the inter
signs or right behind them. But then mine and it
should be like center ish likenavel down, and mine was
only on my right side and tilted all the way
(33:11):
to the back. It was touching nerves. It shouldn't be touching.
That is why I would be in so much pain everywhere.
So it was literally affecting all my systems because it
was placed to the wrong way. So she was like, ah, yeah,
if you told me that, I'll just have made a
different incision than it would have been easy. I'm like,
I don't know. I did not know until now, and
(33:32):
you told me because your colleagues have been telling me
and telling me again that this is impossible, that I
couldn't have been in that pain because there was nothing
wrong with me. She was like, yeah, well they were wrong,
and so she kind of moved it to relatively way
it's supposed to be and now I'm no longer in pain.
So that was another blessing. I got two for one
(33:52):
for free. Well, so when it came to sex, remember
what I had lant from my book used two forms
of contrastsception every single time. But then there is also
the things that we are taught in our communities and
also in charge and the things that I was taught,
and they say that women can separate sex and emotions.
(34:14):
And also you're going the only reason a man is
going to pursue you is because he wants to have
sex with you, and when you give it to him,
is going to be disinterested and you, on the other hand,
are going to be attached to him. But he's going
to leave you, and he's going to leave you broken
and pregnant. So a new one. We are not doing pregnancy,
and I have a solution for that. So two contracept
it every time. And then about the thing you know,
(34:37):
attached getting attached to him. I didn't know exactly what
I was going to do about that, And because they
also say that that is the way things are, there's
no way around that, above it all, below it, there's
nothing I could do. So what I did was I figured, well,
I want to have sex, but no, I don't want
to love him, and no, I don't want to end
up pregnant. I can figure out the pregnancy part, but
(34:59):
loving him, I'm not going to love a jack. I'm
not going to love some man. And also then I
want to make sure that he is good enough, that
he's a decent person, but bad enough. He's not the
getting attached to kind that my brain itself knows like
no no, and him too his like no no. I
chose mister Casanova. I would say, I'd seen me in
(35:22):
my around in school in campus, and I was like, well,
I like him and he liked me, and he seems
like the girl who doesn't stay, so I guess I'll
give it a go and see. And he didn't have
a problem. Now, I had already gotten an implant placed
in my hand, the hormono ones that you get for
five years, so I had already gotten that. So I'd
(35:44):
figured that out, and I knew we were going to
use condoms because and he was mister casanova. I didn't
have a problem with that. We had sex and later
now we don't even later, literally mad after just then,
I'm thinking to myself, So do I love him?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
No?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Do I want to stay with him? No? Do I
necessarily want to see him tomorrow? No? I'm like, could
I be broken? He got literally off right now and
he went out and slept with another girl. No, I
wouldn't be And I certain that for a long time
because in a way, I couldn't believe that sex wasn't
(36:23):
what they said, because I'm like, so I was supposed
to get attached to him, I am not. No, I'm
more broken than I thought I was, because no one,
I don't children to. I'm not getting emotionally attached to
a man I have had sex with. And I guess
that was my first lesson in just discover yourself, because
(36:44):
I was like, uh, it didn't happen the way they
said it would. I guess that was the beginning of
me shedding off some of the things that I had learned.
And because it was very inhibiting, I would say and
very disturbing in a way because in my mind what
(37:04):
I imagined sex was wasn't something good and concentsual and
anything good that you can imagine. I imagined it would
be this dirtifying, this almost not even bad. I feel
like bad doesn't encompass what I thought it would be.
But I thought like my world would end because I
(37:26):
had sex, Like I would not be the same person.
I would be kind of trushed version of me, which
is whether people should stop it. They should stop it.
And it wasn't. It was good and I didn't love him,
which was even better. I know I wasn't pregnant, which
was the first part of it. So enerving conversations with
(37:50):
people or with men in this sense, I don't ride,
I don't even feel like I have the ability to
hide or even pretty, and like I want things that
they don't want. But then I found that they always
think that I'm going to change my mind. We love
that conversation and someone, for example, when I was younger,
(38:12):
someone would say, oh, you know, we are too young.
We shouldn't be thinking about it. It's not on top
of my mind. I also don't want them, but then
they're saying I also don't want them now, because I
remember the relationship I was in before I got sterilized,
actually when I got sterilized, because it was before, during
(38:35):
and after. He thought I would change my mind, if anything.
He was very sure of it, but he never shared
with me that beforehand. So we had had a conversation
like literally, I think the second day I met him,
and I'm like, ohso, and in case you're looking for children,
or you're looking for something long term in the line
of having children, you're looking for the wrong person. It
(38:58):
would not be me. You'd just going to meet another person.
And I've always been very careful and very paranoidal now,
especially then because I was not sterile and I knew
and he would be like, oh, you're a thinking is
I mean, things just happened and we would figure it out.
I'm like, we are not figuring anything out. I am
(39:20):
not becoming a mother in any circumstance, and you need
to understand that. And I guess he pretended that he
understood all that he had me even and so when
I got the appointment to go for the procedure, I
initially didn't tell him or anyone. I just went and
(39:41):
I'm like I'm going to get this done and then
come back and so later I was like, also, actually
that night, I was like, ohso now Marie, stop serving
this thing. And I went and did one, two, three,
four five, And he was mad. I'm like, and why
are you angry? It's not like you don't know me
(40:02):
or I have lied to you or anything. If anything,
I have said this and said it and discussed it.
I have literally talked it to a point where no
one in my life would say they don't know her
co workers that I met the other man. No, So
(40:24):
why are you angry? And he was like, oh, I'd
led them on or I'm like, but how I never
promised you anything, and especially my children. If anything I
told you, it was like, but I thought, you know,
you were going to love me enough, or I was
going to somehow change your mind, or you would have
seen the life that we could have together. I'm like,
(40:46):
how can I could say the same to you, know,
like you could have seen the life that week and
have together with no children. So he's like, and his
argument was I did not love him enough, therefore I
didn't want to have children with him, which is very
bizarre to me. I don't get it. And also then
(41:06):
I've noticed somehow men will get angry at me for
saying that I don't want children, even men that are
not necessarily interested in me, like they're literally married and
they have children of their own. They will get angry
on behalf of another man who I am apparently refusing children.
(41:27):
I don't understand. And so having that conversation with prospective
dates or dates and they have either they're angry about it.
Either they think I am confused, I'm like a child,
I don't understand what I'm talking about, or they think
that they are going to change my mind. And I
don't understand the instinct, because when someone tells me that
(41:50):
they want children, or when a man tells me they
want children, it has never occurred to me that so
and so he's offending me. So and so he's refusing
to not have children, or so and so he's having
children so that they cannot have a life with me.
I don't understand that. Now, the good thing is in
being in like a community of child people. Now I've
(42:12):
met I guess enough men who don't have children, and
they are not interested in children, and they have made
decisions for their lives and for their bodies and having
a secontomists to prevent that. So I'm like, well, sece
people from my village, our room. Partly they are men
who don't want children, and they're the marrying type and
the marrying kind, and especially being in those communities where
(42:36):
they are married couples, and they don't have an intention
of ever having children in their lives, and they have
not had children in their lives. So I'm like, oh, well,
parents in my village, people are not who are not? Right?
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Quilled.
What a powerful, powerful three parts serious, Like I have
been like hooked on Brenda's story. It's just incredible. I
have to shout out our lead correspondent, Caleb or Apollos
(43:10):
for recording this particular story. Like it's just ah, it's
so wonderful in my personal life, it's so timely. It's incredible, right,
and they so much I took away from it. Number One,
women's healthcare has so much shame embedded in it. What
like you can make a choice as a woman of
(43:32):
grown up age, right like you are recognized by the
state as being an adult. You go to look for
certain procedures, and you will be shamed. They will even
withhold services from you. Crazy that we're still dealing with
this in twenty twenty five, right, I think healthcare needs
to move to a point of here is what you
(43:55):
need to know for you to make a decision, but
the decision is yours, because you are not a group project.
Please right. I also feel like body literacy, maybe I
can just call it that absolutely changes lives, like when
Brenda was talking about understanding period pain, right to naming
(44:18):
a retrovatid uterus, right language and accurate info like this
literacy on our bodies as women is so important, and
it just breaks my heart that research on women's health
is not as advanced as it really should be because
we need this information right, for example, periods. We were
(44:43):
conditioned to believe that periods are meant to be painful,
but they're not. And should you complain about the pain
you're seen as as Brenda said, you want attention? What
another thing? I think she mentioned it in part two,
touched it slightly in this episode. Just finding people who
not only respect your truth, but they believe it. I
(45:07):
feel like that aspect, and it happens a lot. I
don't know why. There are very many men like that.
Like when a woman has autonomy and understands her body
and has made decisions for her life, and those decisions
maybe are not popular, you don't hear many people taking
that path, such as wanting to be child free. There
(45:30):
are men who will agree and perform acceptance of your decision,
but of the back of their minds they are waiting
for you to change your mind, or they are hell
bent on changing your mind. I find that to be
very disrespectful, thoroughly disrespectful, especially across all issues, but especially
(45:54):
with something as serious and life changing when it comes
to your health, when it comes to your finances, when
it comes to just your life as child bearing, that
is up sad and what a waste of time. Also,
what a waste of time man. But ultimately, whether you
choose children or not, the standard should be care. It
(46:18):
should be respect and consent, especially maternal spaces. I wanted
to ring those nurses next who are treating people or
mothers so disrespectfully. What in the world anyway? I can
go on and on. Those are some of the things
that I took away from Brenda's story, and I'm pretty
(46:39):
sure in like two weeks because I will still be
thinking about this story. I will have more things pop up,
but I want to hear. What are your key takeaways
from part one, Part two, Part three of Brenda's story.
Now that we've completed it, What did you resonate with?
What are you mowling over? What stood out for you?
Please drop it in the comments section. I love hearing
(47:01):
from you, and thank you, Brenda. Thank you so much
for trusting us with your story. Yours is such an important,
important story. Now, if this episode resonated with you, make
sure you subscribe or follow this show and really the
legally clueless network. Everywhere you find podcasts, be it Upper, Podcasts, Spotify,
(47:25):
whether you are listening on Amazon Music, on iHeartRadio, wherever
you're catching us on man cast Box, We're everywhere. We're
literally everywhere. Make sure you subscribe. It really does help us.
You can watch more of our shows on YouTube. We
are in the pre production of season three or for
Manneralist Women. And let me tell you the women that
(47:47):
we have gotten incredible and we listened to you, so
some of the women that you said you want to
see in season three actually accepted our invites. It's gonna
be ah. I'm really excited about it. I know it's
going to be a lot of work, really excited about it.
But make sure you subscribe to our YouTube. A link
to it is in the show notes. Sign up for
(48:08):
our newsletter that goes on every single Wednesday so that
you do not miss any of our events, but most
especially my weekly messages to you that will just hold
your hand on your healing journey. A link to subscribers
in the show notes. And don't forget sign up for
a wellness Doockward Susan one Juku on the twenty fifth
of October from nine am to twelve noon East Africa time.
(48:31):
It's only one thousand and bob. A link to it
is in the show notes. And thank you for listening
to this episode to the very very end. I truly
appreciate you and I know you have every single thing
it takes to heal. That's it for this episode of
Legally Clueless. You can share this podcast with your friends,
(48:51):
you can keep it for yourself. I'm not judging. Just
make sure you're here next week for the next episode.
My name is adele On Youngle and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one. Hey, Welcome to episode three hundred and forty
seven of Legally Clueless. This is what's coming up now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Breaking the news to my mom, I have not because
I remember the relationship I was in before I got sterilized,
actually when I got sterilized, because it was before, during,
and after. He thought I would change my mind, if anything.
He was very sure of it, but he never shared
with me that beforehand. We had had the conversation literally,
(00:40):
I think the second day I met him, and I'm like, ohso,
and in case you're looking for children, or you're looking
for something long term in the line of having children,
it will not be me. When I got the appointment
to go for the procedure, initially didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We have come to the final part of Brenda's story
and I can't wait for you to listen to it.
She's an incredible storyteller, but an even more inspiring young woman.
But before we get there, thank you so much for
pressing play and becoming part of this community where we
document African stories, we walk our healing journey, and we
do it shamelessly. If this is your first time here
(01:22):
or your episodes of this particular show, God every single
Monday on Wednesdays we have the mid Victis. On Thursdays,
we have Four Mannerless Women, and very soon on Friday,
our seasonal show Ask a Therapist will be back. You
can catch all our past episodes of all our four
shows one, two, three, four years four shows on all
(01:43):
our podcast platforms, and you can watch our shows as
well on our YouTube channel. It's linked in the show notes.
If you're an OG member, I've got nothing but love, love,
love for you, and something exciting is happening, and I
think it's something that will benefit not only me, but
you as well. Okay, So before we get into today's story,
on Saturday, the twenty fifth of October, we're going to
(02:05):
be hosting a wellness talk that is all about smart
money strategies for entrepreneurs and freelancers. So, if you are
a content creator, if you are a business owner, if
you are thinking of leaving employment, this is a master
tent because one of my favorite Kenyon Money educators, Susan
(02:27):
wan Juku is going to be our speaker. And what
I love about Susan is whenever this is like the
third time she's spoken at our wellness talks, she's always
very practical. She always gives the best tools. In fact,
her budgeting tool that she gave us in the last
wellness talk is the one I still use now. And
I'm excited about this because when I left employment, which
(02:49):
is in twenty eighteen, a lot of the products that
could help you build wealth or build financial stability were
really geared for employed people. To be very honest, if
you are thinking about investing, if you're thinking about getting alone,
even conversations around budgeting, it always assumed that you were
(03:11):
getting a guaranteed income every month, which we know for
entrepreneurs such as myself, for freelancers, for content creators, for
anybody who's not an employment, that's not the case, right,
But that doesn't mean that on this side of things,
we can't build wealth, we can't plan for our retirement,
we can't make investments. Yes we can, and it doesn't
(03:34):
mean in fact, there's this you know, whenever you ask
somebody house business and they're all like, oh, you know,
it's difficult I actually started changing my language around it
because one of our board members constantly asks me whenever
I'm like going on and on about how hard business is,
He's always like, what isn't hard? And to be honest,
(03:54):
when I think about my employment days, I'm like, yeah,
it was hella had hella hard. So I'm excited about
this wellness talks because one of the topics we're going
to be covering is shifting our mindset from survival to
sustainable success. So can we move from just like living
paycheck to paycheck to actually having sustainable, comforting come financial success.
(04:21):
Susan is also going to be working us through what
I think is one of the most important steps separating
business and personal finances. She's also going to talk to
us about how do you budget when you have unpredictable income?
Skido goohad right, but it's possible. She's going to talk
to us about within our business, within our freelancing, within
(04:43):
the content creation, can we build multiple streams of income
because that will go a long way when it comes
to sustainability. Can we invest even with irregular income? Yes
we can, And Susan's going to teach us how to
And she's also going to talk about retire and planning
for entrepreneurs and for freelancers, it is possible. These are
(05:06):
not only things that are for employed people, and so
I want you to attend. We always make sure our
wellness talks can add to your wellness, and we look
at wellness as financial, physical and mental. So clearly we're
ending the year looking at our money, so that come January, yeah,
we started right. It's a virtual session, so that wherever
(05:28):
you are in the world, curve out time and attend.
It's from nine am to twelve noon East Africa time,
and tickets are only one thousand bob. For the wealth
of knowledge that Susan wan Driku has, one thousand bob
is a steal. Trust me, grab your tickets right now.
(05:50):
There is a link in the show notes. And of
course remember they're limited because we always try and make
sure the talks are intimate enough for everybody to ask
their questions. So if I were you, I would grab
my ticket now before we close our ticket portal. And
you know us here we're very strict. I think I
saw last week for our group therapy. I told you
(06:13):
Thursday we are closing our ticket portal. I don't know
why sometimes you don't want to believe me, because come Friday,
there were very many people saying, hey, hey, can we
I'm like, no, we closed it so that we can
prepare adequately before the actual day. So don't wait for
us to close this ticket portal, because once it's closed,
(06:36):
this opportunity passes you by. However, if you know somebody
in your life who is an entrepreneur, who's a freelancer,
who wants to be a content creator, who wants to
quit their job and move to this side of life,
please share our wellness talk with them. It will go
a long way. Trust me, I wish when I was
(06:56):
starting my business I had a resource like this. They
would have been a lot of mistakes I would have
avoided and a lot of heartache. But anyway, link is
in the show notes. Right now, we are arriving at
part three and the final part of Brenda's series or
Branda's story, So a bit of a recap and if
(07:16):
you've not listened to episode three forty five three forty six,
you might want to go back and listen because if
you don't, you'll be floating. But three forty five, part one,
we met Brenda growing up in mehru huge community of
family around her who began questioning hmm and assuming that
motherhood must automatically be in her destiny. Then came Part two.
(07:39):
We followed her into her getting to understand her body
a bit better, trying to understand contraception, experiencing the stigma
around tampon's how crazy was that? And around abortion, and
just the power of finding a child free community where
she felled less off quad and like she belonged, you know.
(08:03):
And now we're in part three. She finally has access
to a sterilization procedure. Will she go through it? Listen
up a hundred African stories are legally clueless stories from Africa.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Came back to Naerobe and got another job. They announced
that they were having those programs and they were in
government facilities in Naierobi, and I was like, I don't
care what I need to do to get live from work,
but I am going to get live. And of course
being in that space and with other people, they were like, oh,
(08:46):
you need a couple of days to recover, so perhaps
take a week. I went to my boss and I
explained it. I didn't say what I was going to do,
but I said, oh, I'm going to get a procedure
done and I'm going to need a few days to cover.
A few days is a week. And that was when
she had it's a proceed gender and she was like, okay,
(09:07):
that's you don't need to tell me what it is
because it's your business and your doctors, so yeah, you
can go. I was like, yes, thank you. I went
and called Marrie Stops again and I was like, so,
I'm interested in this outreach that you have talked about
and I want to go. And I expected them to
interrogate me and be like hmm, so how old are
(09:28):
you again? Why do you want to do it? Are
you sure? The one was on the phone did not.
She was like oh okay, what's your name? Told her
how old are you? Told her? And where would you
like to go? Because they had advertised for different facilities.
So I was like, yeah, I want to go to
(09:49):
At the time, it was car Our West Health Center.
I want to go to car West and she was
like okay, that's okay. I was like that's it. She
was like, yes, that's it. You want you will show
up on day and she gave me a time slot.
So it was literally the next week she was like, yeah,
so you just come in that entire week. Do you
know when you have something on your mind, it's almost
feels like you cannot breathe, you cannot think, you cannot
(10:13):
do anything. It's the only thing that it's in your mind.
I'm thinking, oh my god, Okay, so I need to prepare.
So I read everything I could read about it, and
the women who said carry a pillows so that you
can place it on your belly in the car so
that when it goes on pumps you don't feel it.
You're not going to have any costung for like the
first three days. So I knew I need to have
(10:34):
food prepped, I need to have someone to drive me,
I need to all the things. I was like, Okay,
I'm read hopefully hopefully that doctor doesn't send me back
home when they see me. And then also, I am
a little thing. Whether I'm in a five, three and
fifty unks on a good day, I have a baby face,
so when everyone sees me, they think I am younger
(10:56):
than I am. So I was like, that doctor is
going to look at me and think that I am
twenty two and send me back anyway, So that day
came and I went in Ali because I was like,
I need to be there, and the times was that
I was given I can't miss it or at rist
I can't miss it because of something that I did.
So I got there, people are just walking in and
walking in, and so I went to There was a
(11:18):
nurse who was registering people on this book and I
went to it and I'm like, okay, so I'm here
for the Marie Stops thing. So now the good thing
was they were also giving contraception out to women, like
the normal ones that are not long term. And she
was like, oh, you're you're the smart girls. I was
like huh. I was like, yeah, you should take charge
(11:41):
of your health. You cannot have a baby, you can't trace,
you should be ready and you know, things like these
are good for you because you get to have quality
services for free. I was like, yes, I am like
I hope with that least they are not writing who
is going to get an implant and who is going
to get there? You side, because that you're the smart
girls is going to change so fast that she didn't.
(12:03):
She was like, so tell me your name and your
agent and this is where you sit. I was like, really,
my name and my agent. That is where I sit.
So we were seated in the maternity section, like the
new bond section where women would come in with their
new bones to have them get vaccines and get checked
and all that. So that's the place we were seated.
And one thing I lover forget is the way people
(12:25):
treat women with children. We have a society that will
go on and on about the value of motherhood, how
it's a blessing, but then when it comes to the
things that matter, they don't translate to that. Because we
were sitated there and these mothers are like literally new bones,
like their first appointment back at the hospital. And this
nurse stands up and he starts talking to the women
(12:48):
and telling them about also the married Stops program if
they want to get on contraception. He finished, He was
like alorful kakujaku kayo sindano when the moon because as
I come on, now you're theah quat. I don't think
I've ever gassed that route. That means so then some
of you are going to refuse to get this injunction.
(13:10):
By injunction, I guess meant the contraception from Mary Stops.
They're doing it for free. Then You're going to go
back home and give birth like dogs, and that man
is going to leave you in. All the people that
were seated there, and especially the moms who are the
newborn babies, they didn't even react. I literally gasped when
that man looked at me. I'm like, but why are
they silent? Is this a thing? This being degraded and
(13:34):
insulted for what? For having the best thing that apparently
supposed to happen to you? This is what women are
made for. This is what women are supposed to be,
but this is what also they are treated like for
doing what people say they should do. I literally sat
there and I was like, what what or off? Anyway? Now,
the government facility people and the moms and the babies
(13:55):
that are being given their vaccines and checked and all that,
they continuing doing their thing, and we who are coming
for the Marry Stops thing sat down and waited. Eventually,
the Marry Stops doctors and the other people when the
program came in, they talked us through the different procedures
they had and they said, whoever is coming here for
short term contraception should sit on the side, and then
(14:19):
the people want to have their surgeries down today they
should sit on the other side. And I was the
youngest of the group. And the problem is I looked it.
So a lot of the people are looking at me, like,
did you sit on the wrong side? I just sat.
They were doing the procedures according to who came in when.
So I was the third one when it was my turn,
(14:41):
and this doctor came in and caught me and then
took me aside and gave me the forms. And she's like,
so you're going to sign here, and sign here and
sign here. So what's your name, what's your age? Do
you have any pre existing conditions? Are you taking any
medicine that we should be aware of? Have you ever
had surgery done before? And she was asking this normal
question that would be asked as such a procedure, And me,
(15:05):
I am waiting to be grilled. I'm waiting to explain myself.
If anything. I had the points in my head lined up.
This is why I want this, this is why I'm sure,
this is how I know I will not change my mind.
And even if I did, I wouldn't blame you. I
had all these things to say, and she didn't ask
a single questions about those things. She was like, oh,
did you have your pleasure taken? And I was like
(15:28):
really and she was like, oh, so, and you signed
here and I took the film and I'm like, is
that it? And she was like yes. I'm like, so
you're not going to interrogate me. She was like no,
I'm like really and she was like yes, and she's like, oh,
you're a grown woman and you're here, so you know
what you want to know. It's just like you are
lost or something. I'm like, no, it's I'm not lost.
(15:50):
And I asked I'm sure. She was like that's it,
and she just sit and waits and I signed the phone,
gave it back and I started and waited, and then
it was my time and I walked in and that
doctor was signing my films and there was a nurse
and that was I don't know if he was a
doctor or nurse either, but he was there too. They
(16:11):
were like oh, So they explained the procedure to me.
They were like, so we're going to name you, and
actually you don't need like the full anesthetics that takes
someone out. We're just going to name you from your
waist down and then we're going to make an incision
just above your pubic bone, and and this should take
like at most forty five minutes. I was like really,
(16:32):
I was in my minum and this this other doctor
was like really, well, like didn't want to change your men?
I'm like, no, I don't. I'm just wondering could it
be this easy? Like it's almost like it's too easy.
I'm like, it's just I have been looking for a
doctor at that point for three years, because I was
twenty eight for three years and then I just walk
(16:53):
in today, signed some forms and then I'm here, what
can you And he was like, so it's slide down
on this. It wasn't that table. It was one of
those surgery beds that look like they're going to torture
you on it or something. But he's like, you just
laid out here and we're going to start with an antibiotic.
(17:14):
I think it was because I was given two injections,
and the one they said was to prevent infection. I
don't remember. The other one was exactly for what. They
started numbing me and they're like, so they would poke
me and they're like, do you feel that. I'm like no, no,
I don't like and we are starting like, oh my god,
I wish you a way. I wished there was a
mirror above me or a camera or something, because I
(17:37):
wanted to see it for myself because I couldn't believe it.
I'm like, I want to make sure I know it's
this doctor. Are you sure you're going to tie on
both sides and cut out the middle? But are you sure?
And yes, I am going to do exactly that. And
the other doctor, the one who was in my phone,
she was laughing because she thinks it's a joke, and
she's like, and the way I'm going to do it.
(17:58):
By it was on a She's like, by Saturday, you're
going to be hoping and skipping outside. I was like,
you're lying. I think I'm going to be in pain
for a week. She was like, you're not. You're not
going to be in pain for a week. The way
I'm going to do it, you're going to be hoping
and skeeping now because they're anesthetic is halfway. And also
they numb the upper layers of the skin before they
(18:20):
get inside, so you don't feel the insasions. But it
kind of feels weird when they're looking for the tubes
because they have to. I guess, move a few things
around in there to get to them. It's the weirdest
feeling ever. It almost feels like bad hiccups in your belly.
I don't even know how to say. It's that feeling
you want to hiccup but not, but someone is doing
(18:42):
it in your It feels so weird. But I remember thinking,
oh my god, I cannot believe this is happening to
me for free. In the easiest way possible that I could.
I couldn't even have thought of it. And she was like, oh,
so yeah, isolating the tube. There's this tube number one,
and then you're going to name it again. And now
(19:02):
I'm tying off the end and then I'm cutting and
then she's like, okay, that's done. So we go to
the other side. In a way, it feels like out
of body experience, like I was watching them do it
to someone else, like I was not present they did it.
And then she was like, and now you're done, so
I'm going to sew you up, Like okay, she did
saw me up, And she's like, and now you're going
(19:23):
to take you to the world so that you can recover,
and then I'm going to come back later check on
you and then you're going to discharge you and you
go home, like, are you sure you did it? Now
it's a government hospital, or rather it's a government health
it's called on health and health center. There's different classifications
for that, and they don't have a thousand different words,
(19:44):
or even ten different ones or even five. Eventually you
have two or three the men's one, the women's one,
and maternity. So the theater room was just on the
corner of maternity, so when they took you from theater,
they would take you to maternity. So they took me
and they had isolated like the corner one of the corners,
(20:06):
and they had like cutting them off to put the
Marrie stops people were operated on on that side. But
then it's a cutting. You can hear and see everything
if you just push it aside. So anyway, my doctor
was like, and also you have to like walk out
by yourself. They're like, you won't go home unless you
(20:28):
can walk. And it's not that you cannot walk, because
I stood up and I'm like, okay, my feet are working,
clearly I can move. And she held my hand and
we went to the bed that they were giving me,
and I stayed there for the that afternoon, and now
problem is comes back to the way people still treat mothers.
(20:48):
So these are women who have just had their babies,
like their babies are literally not even a day old.
Some are not even like three hours old, like they
are new born, newborn, like a new new baby, new baby.
The first thing, I but there was this woman who
I guess was going to the loo, but then she couldn't.
And then they don't have like the toilets where you sit,
they're like the whole in the ground that flashes, and
(21:11):
she couldn't squat down, and she wanted one of the
nurses to help her, and my god, that nurse spoke
and she told her that she was not there to
spoil her. She's not the one who I guess gave
her the baby. And what did she think she was
coming to do? I remember thinking, what, what on earth
is wrong with these people? Anyway? We could hear her
(21:34):
crying from the loo. And it's not a big word.
It's literally if I speak from one corner, you can
hear from the next one. It's not like there are
fifty birds. And I remember thinking what anyway, And then
there was another one who literally looked like a child,
and I imagined she was a child and she had
had the baby, and she looked shaken up and confused
(21:57):
and things. There was a nurse who's around injecting something
like the baby spies and this it was literally a
little girl. She was seated there holding her baby. And
then when the nurse came around and he's unwrapping the baby,
the baby started crying and trying to inject the baby.
The baby screams even harder and squaming and all that.
(22:19):
And so this girl, I guess just reacted in trying
to take the baby away from the nurse, and the
reaction that nurse had. He would have thought someone I
don't know did what he I think he would have
slapped out something if people are not there, and he
said the unkindest of things. And she's crying, she's hisstercoled.
(22:41):
Then there was an older woman on the next bedworld
also had a baby. She came and she took the
baby and told the nurse just leave alone when I'm
going to bring you the baby. That means, just go
back to where you are. I'm going to bring you
the baby later. And then she's trying to comfort this
little guy and she's trying to shoot the baby be
and she's trying to tell it's okay, you're going to
(23:02):
be fine. I don't understand how still people go about
saying how much your mother would a gift, how important,
but then they don't care for women who have had
children in that same tone. I just don't get it.
I'm like, what do you mean? And then the way
(23:23):
women were speaking about that facility, they were like, like
your water Kuna nass when atoshaangalia, when I'm told you can.
They give an example of the big hospitals Okaquta better
knew what our dream corp That says that, you know,
(23:44):
it's better here in a small hospital where they're enough
nurses to even look after you. You went to a
big hospital they don't even care. They don't even have
time to look at you. And I was like, so
if this is quality care, then what is not quality?
Because this doesn't seem to me like quality care. It
doesn't seem to me like respect, It doesn't seem to
(24:07):
me like appreciation for life. It doesn't seem to me
like anything good. So when they say this is a
good place, what about the bad ones? My doctor came
back she was like, so are you feeling I was
kind of groggy, and I'd slept a bit and then
woken up again, and she's like, oh, and you need
to also eat some food. And I ate some food
(24:28):
and she's like, so depending on how you're feeling in
the next hour, so you're just going to get dressed
and then you can go home. And she came back
again after that hour, and I was feeling kind of okay.
I wasn't in any pain. Daments they gave me they
were good. I was feeling fine kind of and she
(24:48):
was like, oh, so these are your medication. We have
this painkiller and this antibiotic. You're going to take all
the antibiotics until they are done, but the pinkillers you
take them as needed. It was like, then you can
go home. She was like, oh yeah, and also, don't
wait your baddage and you can remove it after three
days and you should be fine, and in case you're not,
(25:10):
you're supposed to call our number and we will give
you further instruction. And I went home and I was fine.
I was better than fine. I couldn't believe it. I
would literally stand in front of a mirror and run
a finger on my sky and I'm like, oh my god,
I cannot believe it. I literally think it didn't sing
in for like six months. I would still stand there
(25:32):
and I'm like, I actually got this done. I actually
got away to get this done. And I'd say, it's
like the best decision of my life. I cannot explain
the peace of mind. I cannot explain the joy. I
cannot explain. I literally feel like it was my gift,
it was my miracle. It was the bestest thing that
(25:52):
has ever happened to me. And for free. Oh I
didn't even spend a coin. Now breaking the news to
my moum, I have not. I have tried as he tried,
because it has most been successful. I've tried and tried
show have that conversation and started from you remember what
I've been telling you that I am not going to
have children. Okay, So that's how I imagine into my head.
(26:16):
So I went and Scott sterilized. It has not gotten
there because every time we get to the place off
so you remember the children thing and she's like, yeah,
Yeoman and no human na not too you know. She
like she was saying, to resolve itself, and I'd say,
for a long time, and since I was a teenager,
(26:37):
I really thought that we had made progress in terms
of hap believing me, because I found that every time
we would talk about it, she would behave like it
was more important, like I have had that it's fine,
you know. She would just brush it off. So in
my mind, I'm like, oh, she's getting used to this,
(26:58):
while I was wrong because now that I am older,
and now I am I guess in the entrange where
I should be more serious about, you know, husband hunting
and getting a child. When I see it now, she
gets angry, and it's that kind of angry that I
can see it, like if you're in the room with us,
you would feel it, and she will get angry, angry, angry,
(27:22):
And so I'm like, but I thought it. But I
thought after all these years, you would be used to
the idea, you would be more accepting, You would at
least let me talk for three minutes before we have
the reaction. And so we are still at that point
of shall we try this today and see how long
this younger face is going to take before it passes.
(27:45):
So I guess, yeah, I will be time to fight
about that, among other things. So my period. My period
has more changed. As I had said before, there are
different types of procedures, the hysterectomy where the uterasis rem
moved and the tubes, and also there are some women
who have their servix taken out. Then I wouldn't talk
(28:05):
my period because the period is basically the shedding of
the lightning of the uterus. If the uterus is not
present to shed, then there's no blood, there's no period
or on my egg and the tubes are tied and cut,
so that means that the egg doesn't get to the uterus.
But the body has the same reactions because it's hormonal.
(28:28):
So when my homemwanns tell my uterus that I am
supposed to be ovulating, my uterus would react the same
way as you would have when I add my tubes intact.
So I still belied because it's the raining of the
uterus that is still inside of me. So yes, I
do have my period. Nothing has changed pain wise, something
has changed, But then this is a story that we
(28:50):
would need to go back. Okay, As I said, when
my parents and my teachers and aunties and neighbors talked
about period, they never talked about pain. But my period
came with a lot of pain. I was always in pain.
It was excruciating. My back would be on fire. I
would be having crumbs fatigue, my muscles would be aching,
(29:15):
I would have headaches, I would it was terrible. I
couldn't function. I would graduate from one painkiller to another,
where I'd start one painkiller and think, Okay, this is working.
Then three months later it's not doing a thing. Then
I'll continue taking another one, and three months later it's
not working. Something would work for a year or nine months,
(29:36):
then it's not working anymore. And the frustrating part was
going to the hospital and starting from when I was
in high school and everythingle time, I'll just walk in
explain why I'm there. The doctor would be like, you're pregnant.
I'm like, no, I'm not, and they're like okay. They
wouldn't be bive me, of course not. So I'll take
the test and I wouldn't be pregnant. But then after
(29:57):
that they wouldn't follow up. They would behave like I
was seeking attention. Actually one of them said that to me,
and he was like, I think you're just attention seeking.
You don't want to go to school. And I'm like
but I'm already in school. I was in boarding school,
so I'm already in school. So where do I not
want to go? But there would be dismissive like that.
(30:17):
They would give me some painkiller that I was going
to get used to and it's not going to work
in a couple of months and then that's it. One
other one told me that it was in my head.
They're like, I could not have to come my own, like,
there's nothing like that. I'm like, but I am in pain.
I can't function and I can't do anything, and so
actually the doctor would believe me. It would be years later.
(30:39):
I'm in campus and we had like a joint program
where we are working with one of the embassies in
Nairobi for another country and we would take classes in
the embassy. It was once every two weeks. During one
of those classes, I lost consciousness. I was in so
much pain. I couldn't hear a thing, like I was
(31:00):
listed in my mind was like and this instructor kept
coming back to me and I was like, are you okay?
You look off today. I'm like, yeah, just give me
a minute. And at the moment, I'm like I don't
even want to talk. When you go away, and then
I lost consciousness in class and when I came to
they had taken me to a health facility in the
embassy and this doctor was like, okay, so tell me
(31:23):
what's wrong. Are you in pain? Is did you have symptoms?
I'm like, yes, my crams are killing me. And he
was like, I'm sorry that that is not the way
a body should work. Like I know, but I have
always been in this pain and it's the first doctor
was like, okay, so we need to get to the
bottom of this now. And even in getting to the
(31:45):
bottom of that, they really didn't find anything because I
didn't have the usual suspects and meet your sys and
it's god, I don't know what there are a couple
of conditions that they would think that that's the first
suspect that they would suspect if a woman was having
the symptoms I was having. So they were like, yeah,
we're not finding anything. But then he got me on
(32:06):
painkillers that actually worked and that I actually did not
graduate out of. Now going back to the procedure and
they cut me open and this doctor is like, oh,
we can't find your uterus. I laughed, and I'm like,
where could it be, you know, like where could it be?
And she's like, ah, okay, let me let me try
(32:28):
and see. And at some point she's like, okay, I
think we might need to increase the incision site so
that we can see better. But before that, let me
try a different thing. So she I don't know what
she did in there, but she did something. And then
she's like, oh, why didn't you tell me that your
uterus was retroverted? So how would they have known? It
(32:50):
literally means that the uterus should be on the flont
on the front of the baby, either with the inter
signs or right behind them. But then mine and it
should be like center ish likenavel down, and mine was
only on my right side and tilted all the way
(33:11):
to the back. It was touching nerves. It shouldn't be touching.
That is why I would be in so much pain everywhere.
So it was literally affecting all my systems because it
was placed to the wrong way. So she was like, ah, yeah,
if you told me that, I'll just have made a
different incision than it would have been easy. I'm like,
I don't know. I did not know until now, and
(33:32):
you told me because your colleagues have been telling me
and telling me again that this is impossible, that I
couldn't have been in that pain because there was nothing
wrong with me. She was like, yeah, well they were wrong,
and so she kind of moved it to relatively way
it's supposed to be and now I'm no longer in pain.
So that was another blessing. I got two for one
(33:52):
for free. Well, so when it came to sex, remember
what I had lant from my book used two forms
of contrastsception every single time. But then there is also
the things that we are taught in our communities and
also in charge and the things that I was taught,
and they say that women can separate sex and emotions.
(34:14):
And also you're going the only reason a man is
going to pursue you is because he wants to have
sex with you, and when you give it to him,
is going to be disinterested and you, on the other hand,
are going to be attached to him. But he's going
to leave you, and he's going to leave you broken
and pregnant. So a new one. We are not doing pregnancy,
and I have a solution for that. So two contracept
it every time. And then about the thing you know,
(34:37):
attached getting attached to him. I didn't know exactly what
I was going to do about that, And because they
also say that that is the way things are, there's
no way around that, above it all, below it, there's
nothing I could do. So what I did was I figured, well,
I want to have sex, but no, I don't want
to love him, and no, I don't want to end
up pregnant. I can figure out the pregnancy part, but
(34:59):
loving him, I'm not going to love a jack. I'm
not going to love some man. And also then I
want to make sure that he is good enough, that
he's a decent person, but bad enough. He's not the
getting attached to kind that my brain itself knows like
no no, and him too his like no no. I
chose mister Casanova. I would say, I'd seen me in
(35:22):
my around in school in campus, and I was like, well,
I like him and he liked me, and he seems
like the girl who doesn't stay, so I guess I'll
give it a go and see. And he didn't have
a problem. Now, I had already gotten an implant placed
in my hand, the hormono ones that you get for
five years, so I had already gotten that. So I'd
(35:44):
figured that out, and I knew we were going to
use condoms because and he was mister casanova. I didn't
have a problem with that. We had sex and later
now we don't even later, literally mad after just then,
I'm thinking to myself, So do I love him?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
No?
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Do I want to stay with him? No? Do I
necessarily want to see him tomorrow? No? I'm like, could
I be broken? He got literally off right now and
he went out and slept with another girl. No, I
wouldn't be And I certain that for a long time
because in a way, I couldn't believe that sex wasn't
(36:23):
what they said, because I'm like, so I was supposed
to get attached to him, I am not. No, I'm
more broken than I thought I was, because no one,
I don't children to. I'm not getting emotionally attached to
a man I have had sex with. And I guess
that was my first lesson in just discover yourself, because
(36:44):
I was like, uh, it didn't happen the way they
said it would. I guess that was the beginning of
me shedding off some of the things that I had learned.
And because it was very inhibiting, I would say and
very disturbing in a way because in my mind what
(37:04):
I imagined sex was wasn't something good and concentsual and
anything good that you can imagine. I imagined it would
be this dirtifying, this almost not even bad. I feel
like bad doesn't encompass what I thought it would be.
But I thought like my world would end because I
(37:26):
had sex, Like I would not be the same person.
I would be kind of trushed version of me, which
is whether people should stop it. They should stop it.
And it wasn't. It was good and I didn't love him,
which was even better. I know I wasn't pregnant, which
was the first part of it. So enerving conversations with
(37:50):
people or with men in this sense, I don't ride,
I don't even feel like I have the ability to
hide or even pretty, and like I want things that
they don't want. But then I found that they always
think that I'm going to change my mind. We love
that conversation and someone, for example, when I was younger,
(38:12):
someone would say, oh, you know, we are too young.
We shouldn't be thinking about it. It's not on top
of my mind. I also don't want them, but then
they're saying I also don't want them now, because I
remember the relationship I was in before I got sterilized,
actually when I got sterilized, because it was before, during
(38:35):
and after. He thought I would change my mind, if anything.
He was very sure of it, but he never shared
with me that beforehand. So we had had a conversation
like literally, I think the second day I met him,
and I'm like, ohso, and in case you're looking for children,
or you're looking for something long term in the line
of having children, you're looking for the wrong person. It
(38:58):
would not be me. You'd just going to meet another person.
And I've always been very careful and very paranoidal now,
especially then because I was not sterile and I knew
and he would be like, oh, you're a thinking is
I mean, things just happened and we would figure it out.
I'm like, we are not figuring anything out. I am
(39:20):
not becoming a mother in any circumstance, and you need
to understand that. And I guess he pretended that he
understood all that he had me even and so when
I got the appointment to go for the procedure, I
initially didn't tell him or anyone. I just went and
(39:41):
I'm like I'm going to get this done and then
come back and so later I was like, also, actually
that night, I was like, ohso now Marie, stop serving
this thing. And I went and did one, two, three,
four five, And he was mad. I'm like, and why
are you angry? It's not like you don't know me
(40:02):
or I have lied to you or anything. If anything,
I have said this and said it and discussed it.
I have literally talked it to a point where no
one in my life would say they don't know her
co workers that I met the other man. No, So
(40:24):
why are you angry? And he was like, oh, I'd
led them on or I'm like, but how I never
promised you anything, and especially my children. If anything I
told you, it was like, but I thought, you know,
you were going to love me enough, or I was
going to somehow change your mind, or you would have
seen the life that we could have together. I'm like,
(40:46):
how can I could say the same to you, know,
like you could have seen the life that week and
have together with no children. So he's like, and his
argument was I did not love him enough, therefore I
didn't want to have children with him, which is very
bizarre to me. I don't get it. And also then
(41:06):
I've noticed somehow men will get angry at me for
saying that I don't want children, even men that are
not necessarily interested in me, like they're literally married and
they have children of their own. They will get angry
on behalf of another man who I am apparently refusing children.
(41:27):
I don't understand. And so having that conversation with prospective
dates or dates and they have either they're angry about it.
Either they think I am confused, I'm like a child,
I don't understand what I'm talking about, or they think
that they are going to change my mind. And I
don't understand the instinct, because when someone tells me that
(41:50):
they want children, or when a man tells me they
want children, it has never occurred to me that so
and so he's offending me. So and so he's refusing
to not have children, or so and so he's having
children so that they cannot have a life with me.
I don't understand that. Now, the good thing is in
being in like a community of child people. Now I've
(42:12):
met I guess enough men who don't have children, and
they are not interested in children, and they have made
decisions for their lives and for their bodies and having
a secontomists to prevent that. So I'm like, well, sece
people from my village, our room. Partly they are men
who don't want children, and they're the marrying type and
the marrying kind, and especially being in those communities where
(42:36):
they are married couples, and they don't have an intention
of ever having children in their lives, and they have
not had children in their lives. So I'm like, oh, well,
parents in my village, people are not who are not? Right?
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Quilled.
What a powerful, powerful three parts serious, Like I have
been like hooked on Brenda's story. It's just incredible. I
have to shout out our lead correspondent, Caleb or Apollos
(43:10):
for recording this particular story. Like it's just ah, it's
so wonderful in my personal life, it's so timely. It's incredible, right,
and they so much I took away from it. Number One,
women's healthcare has so much shame embedded in it. What
like you can make a choice as a woman of
(43:32):
grown up age, right like you are recognized by the
state as being an adult. You go to look for
certain procedures, and you will be shamed. They will even
withhold services from you. Crazy that we're still dealing with
this in twenty twenty five, right, I think healthcare needs
to move to a point of here is what you
(43:55):
need to know for you to make a decision, but
the decision is yours, because you are not a group project.
Please right. I also feel like body literacy, maybe I
can just call it that absolutely changes lives, like when
Brenda was talking about understanding period pain, right to naming
(44:18):
a retrovatid uterus, right language and accurate info like this
literacy on our bodies as women is so important, and
it just breaks my heart that research on women's health
is not as advanced as it really should be because
we need this information right, for example, periods. We were
(44:43):
conditioned to believe that periods are meant to be painful,
but they're not. And should you complain about the pain
you're seen as as Brenda said, you want attention? What
another thing? I think she mentioned it in part two,
touched it slightly in this episode. Just finding people who
not only respect your truth, but they believe it. I
(45:07):
feel like that aspect, and it happens a lot. I
don't know why. There are very many men like that.
Like when a woman has autonomy and understands her body
and has made decisions for her life, and those decisions
maybe are not popular, you don't hear many people taking
that path, such as wanting to be child free. There
(45:30):
are men who will agree and perform acceptance of your decision,
but of the back of their minds they are waiting
for you to change your mind, or they are hell
bent on changing your mind. I find that to be
very disrespectful, thoroughly disrespectful, especially across all issues, but especially
(45:54):
with something as serious and life changing when it comes
to your health, when it comes to your finances, when
it comes to just your life as child bearing, that
is up sad and what a waste of time. Also,
what a waste of time man. But ultimately, whether you
choose children or not, the standard should be care. It
(46:18):
should be respect and consent, especially maternal spaces. I wanted
to ring those nurses next who are treating people or
mothers so disrespectfully. What in the world anyway? I can
go on and on. Those are some of the things
that I took away from Brenda's story, and I'm pretty
(46:39):
sure in like two weeks because I will still be
thinking about this story. I will have more things pop up,
but I want to hear. What are your key takeaways
from part one, Part two, Part three of Brenda's story.
Now that we've completed it, What did you resonate with?
What are you mowling over? What stood out for you?
Please drop it in the comments section. I love hearing
(47:01):
from you, and thank you, Brenda. Thank you so much
for trusting us with your story. Yours is such an important,
important story. Now, if this episode resonated with you, make
sure you subscribe or follow this show and really the
legally clueless network. Everywhere you find podcasts, be it Upper, Podcasts, Spotify,
(47:25):
whether you are listening on Amazon Music, on iHeartRadio, wherever
you're catching us on man cast Box, We're everywhere. We're
literally everywhere. Make sure you subscribe. It really does help us.
You can watch more of our shows on YouTube. We
are in the pre production of season three or for
Manneralist Women. And let me tell you the women that
(47:47):
we have gotten incredible and we listened to you, so
some of the women that you said you want to
see in season three actually accepted our invites. It's gonna
be ah. I'm really excited about it. I know it's
going to be a lot of work, really excited about it.
But make sure you subscribe to our YouTube. A link
to it is in the show notes. Sign up for
(48:08):
our newsletter that goes on every single Wednesday so that
you do not miss any of our events, but most
especially my weekly messages to you that will just hold
your hand on your healing journey. A link to subscribers
in the show notes. And don't forget sign up for
a wellness Doockward Susan one Juku on the twenty fifth
of October from nine am to twelve noon East Africa time.
(48:31):
It's only one thousand and bob. A link to it
is in the show notes. And thank you for listening
to this episode to the very very end. I truly
appreciate you and I know you have every single thing
it takes to heal. That's it for this episode of
Legally Clueless. You can share this podcast with your friends,
(48:51):
you can keep it for yourself. I'm not judging. Just
make sure you're here next week for the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com