November 25, 2025 • 8 mins
This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle opens up a grounding, compassionate conversation for anyone ending the year with that heavy feeling of “I didn’t do enough.”
If you’re wrestling with shame, comparison, or pressure to have a picture-perfect end-of-year story, this episode is your reminder that growth isn’t linear, timelines aren’t universal, and your quiet seasons matter too.
Adelle explores:
• Why end-year pressure amplifies shame and self-criticism
• How unrealistic expectations shape our sense of “not enough”
• The truth about nonlinear growth and “foundation years”
• Gentle reframes that help you recognise the progress you actually made
• A simple self-recognition practice to close the year with kindness
• How to release comparison culture and return to your own pace
It’s a soft landing spot in a season that can feel overwhelming and a needed reminder that your story doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s to be valid.
LINKS
Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
Story submission form: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
If you’re wrestling with shame, comparison, or pressure to have a picture-perfect end-of-year story, this episode is your reminder that growth isn’t linear, timelines aren’t universal, and your quiet seasons matter too.
Adelle explores:
• Why end-year pressure amplifies shame and self-criticism
• How unrealistic expectations shape our sense of “not enough”
• The truth about nonlinear growth and “foundation years”
• Gentle reframes that help you recognise the progress you actually made
• A simple self-recognition practice to close the year with kindness
• How to release comparison culture and return to your own pace
It’s a soft landing spot in a season that can feel overwhelming and a needed reminder that your story doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s to be valid.
LINKS
Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
Story submission form: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Midwick Te's with me adele Jangle, where
I share some random and not two random thoughts on things.
And in this episode, let's talk about something that starts
to happen towards the end of the year. He starts
to feel like, you didn't do enough this year. You
didn't grow enough, you didn't earn enough money, you didn't
(00:23):
heal enough, you didn't achieve enough. And I want to
sit with you for a moment, because that feeling is
it's so much more common than we like to admit. Now.
Every December has a strange way of placing us under
a spotlight because suddenly everyone is sharing their wins of
the year, their highlights, their big moments. And then you
(00:47):
start thinking, so what did I really do you know?
And sometimes, instead of reflection, what shows up a shame?
You start replaying all of the goals you didn't hit,
the chapters you didn't close, the things that didn't change,
and it just becomes very easy to stop believing that
something's wrong with you. I almost went down that road.
(01:10):
I almost picked up shame instead of reflection, and I
started looking back at the year because this year, in
terms of business, Quarter two was rather slow, because, and
I don't know why we do this, we look back
on a period of our lives and we only remember
the bad or the uncomfortable. We fixate on it. And so,
(01:33):
for a moment, I was gonna say, oh, yeah, this
was that year that, like seven years in business, first
time I had a tricky quarter, right, And then I
had to quickly reframe and say, okay, but didn't you
in quarter one land one of your biggest clients. Didn't
(01:55):
you premiere your film in quarter one? Didn't you you
host a podcast with an international organization that had you
interviewing one of your personal heroines in quarter three? You know,
end of quarter two into quarter three, And I was like,
(02:15):
oh my god, actually, yeah, there were so many things
that I set out to do that I did, and
I kind of had to bring myself back into order
and say, girl, why are you only focused on what
didn't work? And why are you so hell bent on
shaming yourself? Right? And even if even if this year
(02:38):
didn't have all of these key moments that I'm saying,
like all of what society looks like looks at as
huge moments, you know. I mean I've had years where
I felt like I was standing still when everybody else
was printing. Even when you're standing still, that doesn't make
your failure, you know what I mean, Like you achieve
(03:00):
could be more internal. Sometimes I like to say, just
waking up is incredible. It's not an achievement, it's a blessing.
And I'm like, wow, I'm still here. That's great, you
know what I mean. And so in this episode, I
want us to reframe a couple of things. First thing
(03:20):
we need to reframe is that growth is not linear.
You know this idea that growth should happen in a
perfect straight line. When you're getting more money, it's just
increasing like that. When you're healing, it's increasing more stability,
ahere linear, more confidence. Every single year it's increasing. That
is such a lie. I keep on telling you this,
(03:42):
and I hope it really lands. Real life is not linear.
It is loops, it is spirals, it is detoys. It's pauses,
it's you turns, it's resets, it's fivoted, you know what
I mean. And sometimes the year you think is empty
is actually the year that's laying the foundation right. It's
(04:04):
doing the quiet work, it's doing the inner strengthening, the pruning,
and just because it wasn't loud doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful.
The second thing I want is to reframe. You did
more than you think. Here's something that I really want
you to really hear. Survival itself is effort. Showing up
(04:29):
even when life was heavy is efforts. Choosing yourself in
small ways is effort. Setting boundaries that shook your whole
world is efforts. And I almost wanted to start crying
there because, like just yesterday, I was talking to a
(04:50):
close friend about an experience I had this year where
somebody disrespected me. You know, somebody shouted at me. This
isn't their first time doing it, and this is the
first year that I responded and said, don't you ever
talk to me like that. And it sounds like such
(05:12):
a small thing, but I stood up for myself. That's efforts.
That's something I have to remember I did in twenty
twenty five. Even Resting is efforts because most of us
were raised to rest without guilts. So think about one
thing you did this year that didn't get applause but
(05:32):
mattered to you, and just remember that you did so
much more than you think. The third thing I want
is to reframe and I've said it in was it
last week's episode or the week before? Feeling behind doesn't
mean you are behind a lot of this I didn't
do enough feeling comes from invisible comparison, right, so you
(05:55):
don't even realize you're comparing yourself to someone else's pace,
someone else's actions, someone else's journey. But you are truth
be told you are, because when you say I didn't
do enough, you've defined enough based on what somebody else
is doing, and even sometimes that somebody else is a
(06:16):
previous version of you in a different time context. Still
not fair, Still not good to do that. Timelines aren't universal,
milestones aren't universal, and where you derive your worth your
self worth is definitely not universal. So you're not late,
(06:37):
You're just living. So tonight, I want you to try
something different as we walk towards the end of this year.
List three things you survived this year. List three things
that you tried, and then list three things that you
(07:00):
learned not achieved that you learned this year. You'll be
so surprised by how much this year has shaped you.
I'm gonna repeat that because this is your homework. List
three things you survived this year. List three things that
you tried and list three things that you learned, not achieved,
(07:23):
but learned this year. And maybe this year didn't unfold
the way you hoped. Maybe you didn't show up as
the version of yourself that you dreamed of. But you're
still here. You're evolving, you're growing, you're becoming, and that counts.
It counts for a lot. I'd actually love to hear
from you. If this episode resonated with you. In the comments,
you could drop one small thing you did this year
(07:46):
that you know deserves recognition. Let me know about it.
Wherever you're listening to this, there's a comment section. Drop it.
I love hearing from you. And if this entire episode
resonated with you, and you know somebody in your life
that you love who needs to listen to it, share
it with them. Thanks for listening to The Midwick. T's
(08:08):
a Legally Clueless Africa production. Episodes go out every Wednesday,
and you can learn more about us by going to
legally Clueless Africa dot com
Welcome to the Midwick Te's with me adele Jangle, where
I share some random and not two random thoughts on things.
And in this episode, let's talk about something that starts
to happen towards the end of the year. He starts
to feel like, you didn't do enough this year. You
didn't grow enough, you didn't earn enough money, you didn't
(00:23):
heal enough, you didn't achieve enough. And I want to
sit with you for a moment, because that feeling is
it's so much more common than we like to admit. Now.
Every December has a strange way of placing us under
a spotlight because suddenly everyone is sharing their wins of
the year, their highlights, their big moments. And then you
(00:47):
start thinking, so what did I really do you know?
And sometimes, instead of reflection, what shows up a shame?
You start replaying all of the goals you didn't hit,
the chapters you didn't close, the things that didn't change,
and it just becomes very easy to stop believing that
something's wrong with you. I almost went down that road.
(01:10):
I almost picked up shame instead of reflection, and I
started looking back at the year because this year, in
terms of business, Quarter two was rather slow, because, and
I don't know why we do this, we look back
on a period of our lives and we only remember
the bad or the uncomfortable. We fixate on it. And so,
(01:33):
for a moment, I was gonna say, oh, yeah, this
was that year that, like seven years in business, first
time I had a tricky quarter, right, And then I
had to quickly reframe and say, okay, but didn't you
in quarter one land one of your biggest clients. Didn't
(01:55):
you premiere your film in quarter one? Didn't you you
host a podcast with an international organization that had you
interviewing one of your personal heroines in quarter three? You know,
end of quarter two into quarter three, And I was like,
(02:15):
oh my god, actually, yeah, there were so many things
that I set out to do that I did, and
I kind of had to bring myself back into order
and say, girl, why are you only focused on what
didn't work? And why are you so hell bent on
shaming yourself? Right? And even if even if this year
(02:38):
didn't have all of these key moments that I'm saying,
like all of what society looks like looks at as
huge moments, you know. I mean I've had years where
I felt like I was standing still when everybody else
was printing. Even when you're standing still, that doesn't make
your failure, you know what I mean, Like you achieve
(03:00):
could be more internal. Sometimes I like to say, just
waking up is incredible. It's not an achievement, it's a blessing.
And I'm like, wow, I'm still here. That's great, you
know what I mean. And so in this episode, I
want us to reframe a couple of things. First thing
(03:20):
we need to reframe is that growth is not linear.
You know this idea that growth should happen in a
perfect straight line. When you're getting more money, it's just
increasing like that. When you're healing, it's increasing more stability,
ahere linear, more confidence. Every single year it's increasing. That
is such a lie. I keep on telling you this,
(03:42):
and I hope it really lands. Real life is not linear.
It is loops, it is spirals, it is detoys. It's pauses,
it's you turns, it's resets, it's fivoted, you know what
I mean. And sometimes the year you think is empty
is actually the year that's laying the foundation right. It's
(04:04):
doing the quiet work, it's doing the inner strengthening, the pruning,
and just because it wasn't loud doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful.
The second thing I want is to reframe. You did
more than you think. Here's something that I really want
you to really hear. Survival itself is effort. Showing up
(04:29):
even when life was heavy is efforts. Choosing yourself in
small ways is effort. Setting boundaries that shook your whole
world is efforts. And I almost wanted to start crying
there because, like just yesterday, I was talking to a
(04:50):
close friend about an experience I had this year where
somebody disrespected me. You know, somebody shouted at me. This
isn't their first time doing it, and this is the
first year that I responded and said, don't you ever
talk to me like that. And it sounds like such
(05:12):
a small thing, but I stood up for myself. That's efforts.
That's something I have to remember I did in twenty
twenty five. Even Resting is efforts because most of us
were raised to rest without guilts. So think about one
thing you did this year that didn't get applause but
(05:32):
mattered to you, and just remember that you did so
much more than you think. The third thing I want
is to reframe and I've said it in was it
last week's episode or the week before? Feeling behind doesn't
mean you are behind a lot of this I didn't
do enough feeling comes from invisible comparison, right, so you
(05:55):
don't even realize you're comparing yourself to someone else's pace,
someone else's actions, someone else's journey. But you are truth
be told you are, because when you say I didn't
do enough, you've defined enough based on what somebody else
is doing, and even sometimes that somebody else is a
(06:16):
previous version of you in a different time context. Still
not fair, Still not good to do that. Timelines aren't universal,
milestones aren't universal, and where you derive your worth your
self worth is definitely not universal. So you're not late,
(06:37):
You're just living. So tonight, I want you to try
something different as we walk towards the end of this year.
List three things you survived this year. List three things
that you tried, and then list three things that you
(07:00):
learned not achieved that you learned this year. You'll be
so surprised by how much this year has shaped you.
I'm gonna repeat that because this is your homework. List
three things you survived this year. List three things that
you tried and list three things that you learned, not achieved,
(07:23):
but learned this year. And maybe this year didn't unfold
the way you hoped. Maybe you didn't show up as
the version of yourself that you dreamed of. But you're
still here. You're evolving, you're growing, you're becoming, and that counts.
It counts for a lot. I'd actually love to hear
from you. If this episode resonated with you. In the comments,
you could drop one small thing you did this year
(07:46):
that you know deserves recognition. Let me know about it.
Wherever you're listening to this, there's a comment section. Drop it.
I love hearing from you. And if this entire episode
resonated with you, and you know somebody in your life
that you love who needs to listen to it, share
it with them. Thanks for listening to The Midwick. T's
(08:08):
a Legally Clueless Africa production. Episodes go out every Wednesday,
and you can learn more about us by going to
legally Clueless Africa dot com
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