Women, Fitness & Hormones: Why Strength, Stress & Empathy Matter | For Mannerless Women

In this powerful episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Stephanie Mwaura, a personal trainer and women’s wellness coach with 19 years of experience helping women reconnect with their bodies and build strength on their own terms.
Stephanie breaks down why so much of the fitness advice women receive was never designed for us from “go hard or go home” culture, to extreme cardio, to diet fads that feed shame instead of strength. She explains how hormones, stress, emotional load, and lifestyle shape women’s fitness journeys and why empathy is a crucial part of any real transformation.

This episode will completely reframe how you think about fitness, food, movement, aging, and the emotional realities women carry. In this episode, we explore:
• Why most fitness rules were created for the male body
• How women’s hormones shift monthly — and why workouts should too
• Why intense cardio often works against women’s goals
• The connection between stress, cortisol, and stored fat
• How shame shows up in gyms, coaching, and diet culture
• Why empathy leads to better fitness results than judgment
• The emotional weight women bring into fitness spaces
• Why strength training is the “aging currency” for women
• How to begin your fitness journey gently, sustainably, and without fear
• The role of mental health & therapy in long-term fitness

If you want to age stronger, move with more freedom, and finally build a shame-free relationship with your body, this episode is for you.

Connect with Stephanie:
https://stephaniemwaura.co.ke
https://www.instagram.com/stephaniemwaura/

Links:
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YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
Story submission form: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to for maneralist Women.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm your host, adel On Jango and this is a
space where we are committed to naturing a new generation
of shame free women who are ready to meet their
best selves. And in this episode, we're chit chatting with
Stephanie Waher. She is a personal trainer and a fitness
coach with nineteen years experience. So if you have wanted

(00:22):
to start your fitness journey, this is an episode for you.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
So thank you so much for making time to be
on the show.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Nineteen years experience in the field.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
First, just stick your flowers, Thank you, thank you. Tak
your flowers. How did you first get into the fitness world?
I keep saying fitness choose me. I didn't deliberately pick it.
But I was always a spotty child. Yeah, I played
what's except three? Maybe basketball football, I know with my
height without I didn't play basketball, football and hockey. Yeah.

(01:07):
I thought all those sports were a bit aggressive, so
I didn't do those. But everything else you can imagine netball, Oh,
I loved volleyball. Yeah, swimming, athletics, field track, everything. I
did all that. So when I finished and went to UNI,
I was called for something different. I was called for economics.
I applied for economics, but I was called for English

(01:27):
linguistics and sociology. Okay, why, Like because I got an
A in English and I've expressed interesting, so I didn't
make it. So they thought, okay, with your English works,
let's take it to an English class. I did that
class for one month and I was like, no, it's
not for me, not this one. So I now took
the time that one month period, that first time semester.

(01:50):
It can't change your course. So the options I had
was sports science and hotel hospitality and tourism management. So
I picked hospital and tourism because I could double major
with sports. Oh okay, So that's what I did. And
in the process, because I was still swimming, I became
the captain of the team on the second year, and

(02:12):
that is where I was able to start coaching from
a very early, you know point in university. So from
second day I was coaching the team up to when
I finished. When I finished, the university gave me a
job wow as a coach. So I was given a
job as a coach, having not studied sports science on
its own fully, but I had studied swimming. So in

(02:33):
the process of being coach. We had been begging for
access to the gym as coaches for like three years.
It was approved as soon as I graduated, so I
got to only go to the gym after finishing. And
one day some random person asked me, are you a trainer?
And I said no. Then I asked him why and
he said, you're really good at this aerobic thing. You

(02:53):
should become one. Isn't that interesting? Because I was already coaching,
and I knew for sure after doing two internships in housekeeping,
I was like, I am not spreading once for leaving you.
Internships and hotels are very hard. Yeah, So after I

(03:14):
did too, I was shut. By the time I am done,
I need another plan saying it. So the swimming was
looking more lucrative, so I got into the swimming, and
then as I was coaching in swimming, I went back
to school now ended up post graduate diploma in fitness
that was twenty ten, twenty ten, twenty eleven. Yeah, and yeah,
that's how I got into it. This is so incredible,

(03:37):
But it's also it's like a mix of intentionality but
also people spotting, which I think is always so wonderful
when it happens when people see strengths in you that
you probably haven't even seen yourself.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, so this is incredible nineteen years and so you're
the right person to also speak to something I've been
I stumbled upon on a podcast. So when I would
do like my morning walks, I would go hungry, Like
I would just wake up and just go straight for them,
come back and do like yoga, still haven't eaten anything.

(04:10):
And this doctor on this show was talking about how, yeah,
that's for men, but for women you need to have
something small, and she was saying, even half a banana,
it will help you with recovery and self And so
when I started doing that, I was like, oh, I'm
climbing this hill.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yes, much easier. I would be tired before.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
And so there's so many things in fitness that we're
told to do as women that are really good for
the male body. Yes, what are some things that we're
doing that maybe as women we should be tweaking another way.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
The first one is the Goha do or go home
please ladies gold go, I mean the team for gome,
not go. So women's bodies do very well with intense training,
but not every day. So the Gohard, go home is

(05:08):
just too forceful, too frequent. Men can train every day.
Their humans are the same since this guy got homones. Yeah, yeah,
Now me, I am not in my late thirties. My
humans are not the same as they were in my
early thirties, as they were in my late twenties, in
my early twenties when I was seventeen. They're not the same.
So the gohead, go home. No, that's not for women.

(05:30):
You need to pace yourself. Rest days are not evil.
So a lot of women will get into the gym,
and they're the biggest people, the biggest number of people
in the industry. Yeah, our clientele is mostly women across
the world. Seventy to ninety percent of any gym, any
fitness program, any weight loss program, any diet is being
purchased by a woman. Wow, world over. But the rules

(05:52):
in there in the gym and not for us. Yeah,
So the gohead, go home, that's that's my favorite. Just
go home. Take a back talk because also when you
speak about homans for us, it even changes within a month. Yes,
so if you're going hard every day, it can't work.
You can't go to work. Yeah one day on your

(06:14):
period and yeah, that's the day. Let me tell you
the day that you are. I make a joke. I
know my husband is watching, but I make a joke
that I leave my marriage every time, every month a
certain time. There's a week here in the man that
I leave my marriage every month. And it's not me living.
It is the way I'm feeling. So any small disagreement,

(06:38):
any small mistake that is made I feel like this
thing can't work, and it's heightened. It's heightened my mood.
I am stressed. I'm feeling depressing. That's the week when
the train is telling you you're being lazy. True, he
has no idea what your body is feeling, and even
you unless you have your finger on the puss weekly

(07:01):
that this is my ovulation week, This is my luteal week,
This is my period week. Periodic at least we know. Yeah,
there are three here doing guesswork. The one that stresses
my fitness is the looting. That's the one, because that's
just like fatigue. I can't do it. So that's the
week to extend more grace. That's the week to tell
a client. And you can tell like if you've been

(07:24):
like for me, I've been in the field for for
quite a long time. When a client walks into a
session at that time, they don't need to tell me
which week it is. The first three romps, she's panting
like she's about nice. First of all, she got to
the session late. Yeah, and then she can't she's in
her mood. There's a mood. There's some things I say,
and then I'm giving a side. I'm like, okay, it

(07:46):
is that week. I get it. Yeah, noted, So that
week I take it slower and I extend rest times,
allow a bit more water breaks. She chat, that's the week.
I'm a therapist, that's the week. Even you you're leaving
your marriage. Yeah, and I'm listening. You're done with your boss,

(08:07):
you're done with your boss and the economy sacts. That's
the week. So if I'm not listening to that as
a coach, I lose you on that week every month
and you'll take you three months and you're done with
this witness thing. Your like night's getting too Because what
we forget is fitness does not exist in a bubble.
After you train, you go to work, you go home,

(08:29):
you go for a gig, you go for a function,
you have a family meeting, you're meeting a lawyer, life's happening.
You get onto the road, you're dealing with people yet traffic.
So if the gym was not a space to come
decompress and investing yourself, you know, uninterrupted, you will hate
it because it messages the rest of the twenty three hours.

(08:50):
I like this, So go home, go to school, just
walk home, go home. What else are we should we
change in terms of what's for us and and what's
for men that we're just taking on and it's not
for us extremely intense cardio. So a long time ago,
strength training was only considered to be bodybuilding, and that's

(09:12):
the one that made women say, I don't want to
look like that. If you look at the photos of
women who strength trained in the early eighties, nineties, seventies, eighties, nineties,
most of our bodybuilders and there were rebels, yeah, because
they were probably not with children, they didn't have kids. Yeah,
I tend to be in the gym. There are professional athletes.

(09:33):
Those are the only photos we had access to. So
if you saw that and you're like, that's how I'm
going to look when I strength trained, Miss smithlas So
guys were stuck with the cardios the running. I mean,
look at the air of COVID. That first six months
we had the highest record of injuries in fitness in Kenya. Ever,

(09:58):
when COVID hit, we all went out run. Yeah where
on Turmak even in January, just not January. We're not
far from January. January the fool. Yeah, we're all working.
Jeffries is full, is full, Yeah, the stairs are fully yeah,
everyone is just running. Yeah. So a lot of cardio.

(10:19):
So what a lot of cardio does is we don't
build any muscle. If you're doing excessive cardio, it will
you look at any marathona. Any sprint sprinters have more
muscle mass because they do short busts of running, but
the marathonas they're very small, so they don't they can't
keep a lot of muscle mass. So if you're doing

(10:41):
a lot of cardio over time as a woman, and
mussle is already declining, and we're already born with less
muscle than men, so you started at a lower point,
then more cardio means you're just chasing being smaller, not
being stronger. Being smaller with time, then that plays a
number in your stress. Cardio is more stressful than doing

(11:02):
strength really. The first statement you are given in fitness
school is exercise is a stressor. You guys are here
to leave press, but you've come to decompress with us,
but with stress. You brought me your stress and I've
brought you. So it's a stressor. So when cardio is
extremely intense, you know these workouts. I see people in

(11:23):
the gym in the buckets, yeah for throwing up? What
and you're told it's okay to throw up? Normal? It's
not to the hospital Internet, I threw up yesterday. We
need to put your ivy. Why are you throwing up
voluntarily in a gym session? So that extreme kind of fitness,

(11:47):
if you're not a professional athlete, that extreme side is
not very necessary. And as we age, we need to
be building more muscles as right. Okay, yeah, so that's
what I would say. The third one your nutrition, the
quick fixes totally. I'm famous for shouting you least. Why

(12:08):
I'm laughing is that when I was younger, and it
just speaks to how diet and culture gets to those
women at such a young age, because honestly, I was
a teenager. I had first I've always been thin. I
don't know what I was trying. I don't know what
I was doing, and I think this is wrong. The
first time I've ever admitted this. But there was this magazine.

(12:30):
I must have read it in a salon sal I
don't want to share this space, let me share. And
it was so they said, to reduce your appetite, snack
on raw rice. And I would be like crunching raw rice.

(12:54):
And I just don't know why. I think it was
my mom who was just like, what the hell are
you doing? Well? I read so that to reduce your appetite,
you would be snacking on this thing, and just like
you're a teenager, I was a teenager I should be
and I was. By the I was swimming, I was.

(13:16):
I was doing things that would make you, once you're done,
want to need to need to eat. Actually, and and
I really didn't have any business. I don't know what
I was trying to shed. I didn't have enough to
even just sustain. That's a I've had many, but I've
never had I was. I've never said I said it

(13:37):
publicly because I think it was just my mom. You know,
it's gone, But it was just foolishness. And and but
it also speaks to how dangerously accessible. These things are
because I was a teenager. Yes, it is so sad.
Now you can imagine you were reading that from a hepasin.

(13:58):
A girl your age, a girl who is your who
is that? Who is that age? Now exactly has access
to what Instagram? Yeah talk, And now it's even more
of a health hazard. Yes, man, Yeah, then her algorithm
sets that everythation is catching on. Everybody's looking snatched, everybody

(14:19):
is looking thin, everyone is looking smaller, everyone is losing weight.
I have so many moms who are requesting, or they
are not begging, that I do a session for our
teenage girls because now they have started saying they want
to get thin because being fat is. They have very
many statements as to what being fat is. So the

(14:42):
are now and what happens with girls like those, You
start to mess your homeowns that are very That's what
I'm saying. So now it's more harmful things that are accessible, right, Yes,
and and and as aunties, as moms, as grandmoms, we
are even passing these things down with the our knowledge.
So we're in the house and you run a hotel, yeah, house,

(15:04):
because the nanny cooks this for the dad, this for
the mom this for the kids. So my daughter who
is watching me, looks at this and says, mom, doesn't
eat not it makes people fat. Yeah, she's twelve. So
she goes to a party. She knows I don't neat
cake because it makes people fat. She goes to a
party and she says, I don't eat cake.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
And one of your greatest influencers at that age, like
the adults around.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Your mom, your may are learning from muddling. You're learning
and they don't need to teach, they don't need to talk.
So you can imagine. So the fat diets are a
big one for women, like yeah, yeah, yeah, get there's
a season where we didn't need cabs. Yeah, the whole
group of us. You're bad no cabs. Then suddenly now

(15:55):
certain meats are bad. Remember this is of red meat
is bad. There's an I was in And then plants,
plant based are cabs. Yeah, many days do I answer
beans are not cubs because the Western world has told
us that beans are cubs. Yet Africans are predominantly vegetarian. Yeah,
so now we are trying to look for chicken breasts.

(16:16):
Where are we get a chicken breast in my village?
In there Yeah, where that road runner has a sheet
thick chicken breast. Where are we doing it from? Yeah,
so we've not demonished the rest of the chicken, and
we should only beating chicken breast without skin. I remember
that without skin. Face. Oh my goodness, it's all coming

(16:37):
back to me. If I told you to go and
write down all the diets you've had off or done, yeah,
you'll feel a book. I remember the skin that time
we never eat skin. There's a time all foods for
weight loss had to be boiled. Oh my god, don't fry.
Don't fry because my foot and in Bayer. Okay, So

(17:00):
so fat diets are a huge one that those will
never end. Somebody will always come up with something because
it's an industry now, because the bottom line is they
reduce how much of it so you will lose weight.
They will give you the results you want. Well, sure
eating is only juicing detoxing. The other day was at
an event and the doctor who was there, there are

(17:20):
three doctors. One said, you do not need to detox
your body because it already does. It has a liver
for a result. Yeah, the liver is busy detoxing you
every day. So you cannot detox from your stomach. Yeah,
the body is already doing that, but there's always something
coming up because the weight loss and the fitness industry
a multimillion dollars.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, so you have to be very smart and like
self aware so that you're not spending interrogate, Just interrogate.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
If somebody tells you want you to stop eating race,
that's quiet I started, right. We forgive you because you
are seven at least seventeen. Yeah, learnt in my big
gage emitting six well eggs, but yeah six boil legs
lunch six yeah at my bigge. Yeah, I didn't decide. Okay,

(18:07):
let me go research what that will help me with
and what are the cons of doing that. We don't
even investigate. So investigate what you're being asked to do
before you just jump on it.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
There is this is quite interesting. We're gonna come back
to good or bad foods. But there's something you you
mentioned that I it really struck me about empathy and fitness.
I don't think I've ever seen those two words together.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's always go go hard or go home, right or
go home? So you feel like the fitness space needs
more empathy? What do you mean by that, and what's
the role of empathy and fitness? So if we were
to put ourselves in the situation of somebody's health today,

(18:57):
then we would understand how they got there judging and
shaming them, and then it makes me, as a coach,
be in a better position to work with you through
that journey to achieve your goals without shame and judgment.
I haven't seen any good come out of shame and judgment.
So I shamed you. You look bad. I don't like

(19:18):
this about you. Okay, Yeah, when you say, oh, that
was so inspiring, it's not motivated. It didn't motivated to
do anything. You can't say that was life changing unless
it is the thing that made you. You know, you
say flag yeah finally, so yeah about that person. But
there isn't much positive result out of shame and judgment.

(19:39):
So the fitness field has for a long time shamed
anybody who's overweight, anybody who's underweight. So we have fat
shaming and slim shaming. They coexist in that gym space.
We shame people who start too late. We shame moms
for looking like they like they had to like moms

(20:00):
like a mommy. It's such a bad thing like you
had a baby, like as soon as you come back
from a leave exactly like oh congratulations, yeah you're like
for what, Yeah I don't I'm not pregnant, or you
look like another one is coming. We've normalized shaming people
for how they look, so you can imagine that is
out here. So in the gym space you find these

(20:21):
baths and other petit fit looking saft bottomy. You're working
and you are a sinner. It's so harsh, it's so tough,
and then it's why are you like this? I've had
statements like I'm sure my foot at twenty? What? Or

(20:42):
am I the one who made you fat? Is it
not you who brought yourself to the gym? So is
that like a coach? Like, oh, my goodness, that's a coach.
So for a very long time, people are shamed in
the gym, and it's such a what's the word. It's
a very cutthroat environment, even the just the way you feel,

(21:06):
the energy, the energy and the gym is very competitive
because you have lost it to wait and see me
and on the way, how much did you lose? Now
you're comparing notes, nobody's looking at Okay, what's your background,
what's your genery genetics? I was gonna say, did you
get here? And I normally like to ask a client
why are you here today? Or why did you book

(21:27):
a consultation with me? What are we working on? And
once I let them open up and talk about the
journey to this place where you're like now need to
make change, they're able to draw a nice dotted line
to say this happened. There was grief here, there was
loss here, there was poor work life balance here, there

(21:49):
was stress here, there was COVID here. I mean, we're
behaving like we don't grieve. We should just be fit permanently.
And the worst part is we judge fitness by looks.
Fitness is not a body ship. I think the reason
I know that is people when you're thin will assume

(22:11):
your fate. And I've known moments where because I've been
thinking throughout where I'm further from fit than I've ever
been or closer, and you externally would never know it.
You'd never know it. So somebody looks, I assume, and
then I label you fit, And then somebody else looks

(22:32):
at me and they labeled me, And to that we
are not having a conversation so we don't even allow
for empathy is such an important human feeling or space
we need to hold around everything just the same way.
There's been so many things going on around us. Just
because I don't understand it, I should not now come
to you and attack you exactly. I should take my

(22:55):
time see it from your perspective, and then okay, if
I can walk, do you see how I can work
with it? So empathy has given me more results for clients,
Oh yeah, than shape ever. A client can tell me
I had two bottles of wine, and I tell them
my favorite response, thank you for sharing. Yeah, because I'm not.

(23:16):
It's not like I'm hiding. No, don't hide. So now
you know because the person you're being accountable to is
not me, it is you. When you open up and
say I had two bottles of wine and I was
reducing my drinking, or I had three slices of cake,
I was stressed. You're being accountable to yourself, not to me.

(23:37):
I'm just conjured. Yes, and a safe space. I'm a
safe space. Yeah, I will train you. You get so fit,
you look so fine. Imagine I'll never benefit. So if
I'm here for myself, what I think, Andy, I should
be telling you all these things. I really have lost
the plot, so we need to hold a bit more space.
Then people are willing to keep starting. There is white

(23:58):
people lose it and then when they gain, but they
never come back, it's because we will laugh. Yes, we're
shaming them. They're shaming them. I thought you lost weight, Like,
I mean, we're about to start greeting each other. It's
my ad. Yes, we meet cousins you've not seen for
six years, and you're like, you've become so fat, Like
you have no question of what have you been up

(24:18):
to for six years and what It's not a bad
thing to increase or for your size to change, but
you also don't know what has caused change. Yeah, right,
and sometimes it's not your business. So you actually shouldn't
even be talking about my ad or whatever. I ask
people when you tell somebody that is it that you
thought they didn't know? Like, wow, I leave them. They're

(24:39):
living that body every day. Okay, so exact news. I
actually you are moving away from what you should be
talking about, like it's nice to see you. Yeah, I
used to one answer guys. These days, I have nice
answers when somebody meets me and says, hey, you've added
to it. I'm like, it's very nice to see you too, Yes,
because that is not that the basis of all our
conversation is so fun.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Because like for my body, I lose weight very easily
and I have to kind of like remember to have
my meals. Yes, because a little bit of stress or
forgetting to eat, it just sheds like it drops.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Right. But I also I think I've kind of known
that about my body, and I don't shame myself when
I've lost it. Before I used to just be like,
why can't I have a handle of this? What's going on?
I think that we should do that to usseling. Yes,
So even even if I had it, if I lose weight,
I have an opinion about why I shouldn't have done it. Yes,

(25:39):
And it's a very condescending yes, And I kind of
I don't know what it is about me. I'm not
able to stick to the gym. So I had to
kind of be like, no, when you're stressed, this happens,
and just be easy in yourself. Let's this time around.
How can we handle our stress? What are we going
to do? Okay, so maybe we can try. But I

(26:01):
did meet someone recently, and the first thing they said
is like, have you lost faith? You've lost faith? And
I remember being so self. The first reaction was self
conscious because I was like, is it my hangers? Is it? Like?
What is it? Because I didn't think I've lost it?
Have I not been seeing myself in the mirror? And

(26:22):
after that I just said, forget all of that. That
was none of her business. It was not an opinion
that was hers to share. So can we just continue
with what we were doing? I think we also need
to know when this is not our your voice is
not needed here. Yes, and let's normalize calling people out

(26:42):
for that, Like if somebody comes and that's the first
thing they say every time, which then the next time
that is the first statement you're having. I don't think
or I don't like that every time we meet, that's
the only thing you take care This is I am
alive and well. And here you haven't seen me in
a while. You haven't cared about anything else except how
I look. The first thing. That's the first thing, because

(27:04):
I mean Christmas is the time we gather after many
mini months. Some of us only see each other during
increase and tell us is a long time time if
you look at just one week, what have you done
in one week? So now fifty two weeks, you have
so much to catch up on and things to talk about.
There's probably things you went through this year that we
could share, because that's what empathy is, putting yourself in

(27:26):
someone's shoes. When somebody talks to me about stress, about
challenges at work, challenges with in a relationship, challenges with
their body, their nutrition, challenges with the secretlative, those are
things I can empathize with because they're also going on
in my life. So if all I'm talking about is
you and how you look really in a way that

(27:48):
puts you down, we are reducing that human relationship. And
so that's that's that's why I feel like the gym
and the fitness space needs a lot more impaty. Weill
are people coming and stay? Yes, because I wanted to
come and stay and stay through the seasons, because your
life will still go through seasons. The stress will not end,

(28:09):
and you know, life has a way of happening. As
soon as you make a decision to get fit, that's
the week your calendar is booked. Whether fifteen meetings, yeah,
long nights, you're actually tested with your tested as soon
as you pay for that couch and you're like, no,
I don't know what will happen. Yeah, no, just go
with the flow. Seasons come, they go. Actually be kind.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
The other thing that I have to commend you about
is you said when we had our first conversation.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I think I believe it was I work with a
network of therapists. Yes, And I just thought, because I
love Yeah, this is someone who gets it, Like, you
can't separate these things. Why is that important to you? What?
What do we miss when we separate fitness from what's
happening mentally? So I feel like we throw just so

(29:03):
as I said earlier, we throw many things at the
actual situation. So we throw money so we are spluging shopping.
We throw fit body so you go a hard in
the gym. We throw vacations and holidays, big cars, bottles,

(29:23):
moving house. Let me throw things that make us happy.
And most of the times they involve spending some money
at situations that we are not addressing. So many times,
fitness will push you. It should challenge you. It should
not make you feel like this thing is impossible to do.
It should feel challenging to the level that Okay, it

(29:44):
was difficult, but I put in an attempt and I
actually need something. When I challenge you like that, that's
the day you get where the trainers make people angry.
Let me just be honest, because have you ever done
a plank for one minute? Okay, let's try all long?
That meaning, yeah, every time I get a new client
and normally give them a disclaimer, I'm sorry, I don't

(30:05):
count because every time I counted, one tells me I'm lying,
yeah to count. So I've already put you in a
stressful situation. You said fitness is a stressor, so you're here.
I'm pushing you to do something I know you can,
or I'm hoping you can, or we are training for
you to be able to do it. So now I'm
challenging you physically. When I challenge you physically, something happens

(30:26):
with your mental health. So you start to address things.
So you've come from whatever you've come. You can't decompress
everything about the office, home, politics, economy within that one hour,
So I now start to push that exercise feel like
it feels like it's pushing you to a corner. So
what ends up happening is sometimes you can tell that

(30:47):
a client is struggling with something mentally or emotionally or socially,
and the best thing for me is to get to
a point of saying, honestly, this noise beyond my scope.
And because I've done it for so long, I can
tell you when a client is not okay, even from

(31:08):
how they work in how they respond to the exercises,
how they are canceling sessions. So this morning, oh this happened.
The next day, oh that happened. Oh, another client will
tell you I think I need to take a break.
There's so many moving parts. That is code word for
I am stressed. Yeah, moving parts or my schedule is

(31:28):
looking a bit crazy. Yeah, that's the one thing we
drop very quickly when it comes to movement because it
challenges you physically. Fitness is known to improve your mental fortitude.
But now if your mental state is not allowing you
to do that, then you might need help beyond the trainer. Yeah.
So I work with a network of therapists. Again, my

(31:50):
main group is pray and postpartum moms, and also have
a lot of peri menopause and postmenoposal women. Stress is
such a huge reality of women who are older. This
is hormonal and also life just the way life is going.
So when you come to me, you can imagine a
mom with a small baby, even just stopping everything to

(32:13):
do a session. Yeah, even for that one just one hour.
And as she does it in one hour, there's a
screaming baby and Anne who keeps walking into the session.
Excuse me, Yeah, so heaven have to start getting I
get to that point of I'm like another house manager. Yeah,
I am happy now in her session because as soon
as I'm sending the kids away, go ahead, play, go

(32:36):
to antique, go to your dad. Give mom time, because
everyone wants to be with her that one hour. They've
been with her all twenty four hours, but this one
they're not giving her. So that's already is putting her
in a stress withold more, she's probably struggling with sleep
because of a small baby. It's a new it's a transition, yes,
and the same. You know, postpartum symptoms very easily overlap

(32:57):
with monopous and perimenoposal symptoms. A lot of perimeno women
are awake. We're not praying, by the way, we are
not praying, not awake out of choice. We pray. Let
me just say now we're not praying. Guys are like,
we are praying for us, but yeah, yeah, we we

(33:18):
just can't sleep. We have not interrupted sleep because of
low straged Oh my words, my anxiety is now heightened
because of hormony balance. I am instantly tired. I'm tired.
So this workout already, I'm tired when stays because also
I haven't slept. Yes, I haven't slept. Now. The way

(33:40):
I'm eating even I even now have you fitness does
is you have to eat a certainly. Yeah, so I've
stressed you with the workout and I have recommendations about
what you should eat to get to the goal. And
then on the other side, life is still happening here.
So there's a lot to deal with when you start
a fitness prog those things that to come out.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Can I just say thank you first and foremost that
you work with women primarily, right, because then you get it.
I actually hadn't broken it down, like even for perimenopause,
you insomnia, your hot hot flashes, you're.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Because if your hones are also playing around your tired. Yeah,
you're not arriving the way you know yourself to be exact,
and that in itself is stressful because it's just like,
what is happening. You're not feeling like yourself. You're not
feeling like yourself, and that's it. The moment a client
is not feeling like themselves, you need as many people

(34:45):
in your team to make you help you feel better.
So in the in the fitness space or your wellness journey,
wellness is not just about fitness only fitness nutrition. You
need a team. Yeah. We also should get used to
doing therapy, not when there's a crisis. Only started as
a maintenance. How many of us wait for our cars

(35:06):
to break down? We don't. They are serviced on regular
yeah dates and lech you guys are reminder, Yes you
will service our carts regularly. So you need to service
our mental health, our physical health and nutrition rest. So
things come up in training sessions. Many clients keep saying

(35:28):
I need to start charging for therapy. I'm like, I
just found myself here. And part of it because our
client is not doing the exercises as a way also
to distract them, and they're giving them stories from me
until wherever, and they're also sharing and then there are
some you can tell. Okay, now I'm able to pick
a client has lost this number of family members. I'm like,

(35:51):
this one is going through grief and I'm not able
to handle that. I'm not a grief there and it
just happened. So I need to call someone. So I
have friends, people have worked with, Others have gotten through
just networks and my work. Some reefer clients to me
because these things work hand in hand. Our therapists will
tell you need to start exercising any client who has depression,

(36:15):
chronic stress, anxiety. I have quite a number of clients
who've had have been diagnosed with bipolar, what else postpartum depression.
Exercise is one of the remedies. So they send you
to me, So what why shouldn't I send you to
them when this is now beyond my scope? Yeah, I
have to work a miracle work here. So when I'm like, okay,

(36:39):
now you're canceling sessions, I try to reach out to
you because the train is also a very close person
in your life. You can imagine. I trained clients where
I see three times a week, yeah, for three four
five years. Yeah. I know your house, I know the caps,
I know your kids, you know, I know the land easier,

(36:59):
I I know the God. Do you know how many
places I drive into and the security guard is like,
I've never been there. Yeah, I've never been there, but
maybe he was posted in another apartment. He used to
see me there. So I know so many things about
your life. I mean, I should be able to hold

(37:21):
space and say, okay, now this part I would recommend.
And it's not easy. Some are willing, some are economy.
I'm okay, I don't. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm good. Because also,
fitness is very intimate, like the fitness journey. I would
say for women, it's very indigous. We're carrying in a
lot of emotions. And I wonder if what you think

(37:41):
about our mental health in terms of how it affects
our fitness habits, so our inability to be consistent, yeah,
or our kind of fear to even start or keep
it up. You know what I mean. Isn't that linked

(38:02):
to something it is mental or emotional. There's there's fear
of failure. What if I sign up for this program
or I get this coach, they change this match and
then it doesn't work, like I've tried. I made a
joke the other day, guys are going to lynch me
for this one. But I'll lose it again. I said,

(38:22):
I've tried everything is a statement only reserved for fitness. Yeah,
we have never invested once. We all bought coil eggs
many years ago, yet we are still investing. We didn't
start fitness one program you get so day three you're done. Yeah,
and you're done with the collection. You're not doing yoga,

(38:45):
you're not going for strength training, you're nottist. You're not
going to walk, you're not going to run, you're not
going to join CrossFit nothing. You're not swimming nothing, you're
not cycling. You're like, I tried everything, but it didn't
stick to any So there's a fear of failure in
fitness because we have and because fitness is not it's
not appeal. So when you come to me and tell me, Steff,

(39:07):
I want to build muscles, like, I know that's a goalie.
Before I get the sweet spot for you, will have
gone in like formas Yeah, because it also uniquely. Yes, second,
my own program to you or program that I gave
gin to you, I have to figure out what works
for Dell. What's her lifestyle like, what are her preferences.

(39:28):
I will tell you to go eat food that you
don't eat. You'll be like to eat what? Okay, well
they bought you eat the first day. You're like, that
thing is not is. I need to work with what
your lifestyle is like so that it feels manageable. So
when it's when someone is starting this fear failure and
that's normal, even children, anybody learning something new, just know

(39:48):
you're not You're not a fake. You're just a beginning.
It's new. You're sore because you've never done this thing before,
or you've never done it with this consistency you've never
done to the train, maybe get the form right, you've
never done it at this intensity. A train also has
a capacity to push you beyond what you think you
can do. I can look at you and say, okay,
let's lift this weight you lift and I'm like that

(40:10):
looks easy, and you're like, no, yeah, tell you not
just pick the bigger. I mean like I'm one of
those yes yes that Their client asked me what weight
should what weight should I buy? There's a group programming
normally ran so this only supposed partum moms. They asked
what weights should be now by because you in the
second program and behalf weights, I said, She said, she's

(40:33):
doing two point five kilos. I'm like, I two point five.
Remember this is a post part term group. I asked her,
what is the weight of your baby? She said one
is ten kilos twenty four. I'm like, what are you
doing at point? And you left them on the regular
as you are maybe handed yeah, constantly, So until I
say that yeah, then it doesn't feel possible. Many clients

(40:57):
are like, I can't lift heavyweights, so even when I
send it to buy umber by the pink ones, I
can't say that.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
They're those stoppers, the cute one that's here, the very
cute you're not sitting harder using the yoga ones.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
There's like a pill you guys, we won't make much
progress if if I was to line women in gym
and tell them, okay, lift, lift, keep lifting until the
one that you feel I can bet you for money.
Many of us, if it's legs one hundred kilos plus,

(41:35):
women are bottom heavy, so we are strong. Legs are
strong and keeps us strong. What will struggle with these
push ups, which is what everyone wants trying to do? Yeah?
Why carry? Just carry your shopping when you go shopping
for five six seven items that backway is around seven kilos.
Do you know what, I've never put it down in
the mall. Yeah, why the pink dub and the she's

(41:59):
even better to point five. So when I told her
try and lift, you can lift heavier. Yeah, many of
us are just we are afraid, Okay, I won't be
able to do this. Weill li be able to do this.
But to answer your question which you're asked about, what
does that mental the mental health connection with fitness. So
stress is such a big inhibitor for achieving any goals

(42:22):
when it comes to fitness. When you're stressed, we have
a homan called Courtsol. Most of us know now we
are seeing it online because they have Courtisol. Diet is
there for reducing Once was like not regulated well for me,
and it kept me up for three three nights. So
I have mad respect for that moment. I'm like please.

(42:44):
So Curtisol is a homon that is here to save you. Yeah,
I'll keep you alive. And it's responding to something that
it feels like stress, And it doesn't differentiate stress from
an argument allowed to buy or rely on its differentship
or a work out. Now, when you're stressed and your
corticol levels are high. Yeah, your body goes into fat

(43:07):
storage for safety. The more fat it can store, it
will keep your heart beating, your lungs breathing, your brain intact,
and your consciousness to keep you awake and coherent. So
when you're constantly stressed, you're constantly storing fat. Mm. So

(43:30):
you come to me in a very high stress job,
high stress relationship, high stress economic situation and life too,
and then yeah, big dumbbells stressor the fat is not
going to go anywhere, so we'll be pushing, pulling. But
it's contra yeah, because the body knows it's what it is.

(43:52):
You've probably most stresses, Like I guess you need more fat. Yeah,
because because it's going we don't know where you're going.
So it's trying to protect you by storing fat. And
it starts around here, mostly because your organs are around here,
around your liver, around your kidneys, just to keep the
body going. It's like we're not your tribuity. Yeah, we're

(44:12):
not safe. Weren't safe yet, so we can't lose. We
don't have weight to lose at this point. So stress
and fitness play they are together. You need a bit
of it for you to get up and good. Yeah, yeah,
like healthy. I think it's stress, right, but now when
it tips over and becomes excessive, it becomes chronic. Yeah,

(44:35):
we are seeing now there's a study that came up
a few months or maybe a year or so ago
that linked a lot of the lifestyle diseases that women
have to chronic stress and unresolved anger. Oh so the
type two diabetes, hypertension, obesity related and card vascular issues.

(45:00):
And we've also seen arthritis a huge one as a
result of stress. So when you have that chronic stress,
your body cannot even let go of the weight, and
when it's experiencing that things are not working the way
they should. So there's a huge connection. So exercise is
a physical stress, that's true. It challenges your mind. It

(45:20):
makes you feel like, okay, this thing is difficult, but
when you push through, you build a bit more mental fortitude.
I haven't met a client who has said that they
haven't benefited in other areas of their life. They started
a program. People will tell you as soon as I
started training, I was able to align my finances. As
I started training, I was able to now learn how
to put up boundaries with my relatives because I learned

(45:44):
to take care of me, Yes, and I decided to
extend this to everything else in my life. And you
were seeing the rewards how it feels exactly when I
come for a workout after a long day, I get
home happier. I'm not happier. The children, I'm not stressed
that they will world agin. So there's a huge connection.

(46:04):
You can't separate their mind and the body. They are one.
This is so interesting because in season one we had
my doctor, doctor Sally, and I remember one of her
first prescriptions to me, when she had diagnosed me with
low functioning depression. She was like, literally wrote it down.
I want you to get angry more often, and she

(46:27):
was like, allow yourself. She even said if I get
a call that she have been arrested for breaking things
because you're angry, I would be very happy because it's out,
you know. And I just to speak to your study.
They were saying, there's a lot of talk about how
the reason we as women are also suffering these things

(46:49):
are also socio cultural, Like we're not socialized to express
our angers to this is what we're told, right, And
even if you're like me, I'm arresting, I have an
you can say I'm not allowed with it on the streets,
rusting beach face, someone is like, why are you I

(47:12):
like to say, my face sits like that. Yes, but
it's normal. It's normalized for women to never be piaced
and even in you're angry, you need to say it
where yeah, respectfully, like please. What I also want us
to touch on is going back to the foods. Yes,
you want us to reframe the thought that there is

(47:34):
good and bad foods and we I don't even know
if it's out of my system to be very honest,
Where I look, there's some food where I'm like, oh,
I'm I allowed to allow because there's good I know
when they're forbidden it. So how comes he want us

(47:57):
to reframe our mindset around me, like in terms of
good foods and bad foods. So I watched I've watched myself,
my friends, my sisters, my mom's, my aunties have food
anxiety around life. When you invite a lady over to
your house for dinner, you want to come for dinner,

(48:17):
She'll say yeah, Then the next thing in her mind
is what will she go? Or we have a cocktail
party for work and I'm like, yo, what are they
going to serve as cocktails, have snacks and unhealthy snacks. Yeah,
they don't have clean food already eating out. There's a
whole stigma about eating out. So we have labeled foods

(48:41):
good and bad, and that has now made us very
anxious around eating. And we feel like I am giving
permission every day. Yeah, giving permission for somebody to go
and enjoy your birth day. Yeah. Yeah, I eat the cake. Yeah,
have the wine. There was wine at the table ceremony

(49:01):
you are accepted to attend. And then now you're saying no,
I want water, yeah, please, And yet you want you
want yeah, and you want the cake. You want the cake,
and one piece of cake does not make you unfit.
So when we reframe food from being good or bad
to being nourishing or highly nutritious or not yea, then

(49:25):
we feel safe around it. There's no day we're going
to eat a galley on our birthday. Yeah, as that
with candles. I'm not coming for your body. No, No,
I want a big, nice, yeah loaded, delicious sweet cake
for your birthday, because that's what symbolizes a bad day
celebration without cake, they say, without cake, yeah, or not

(49:48):
even once should have been an email. Yeah, why are
we here? Yeah, so I should be able to come
for your birthday celebrate with you. It's that cake. But
I should also know that waking up to eat cake
every morning does not serve body. What am I celebrating?
I'm you told me, I'm celebrating life. That's why you're
That's why you're here. You can't celebrate every day. They

(50:11):
work out the celebration exactly or even where you say,
there's you know, not like me are from the mountain
where you're going to sharks and you're not. You have
to before you get to shags because they've made rice
stew that has potatoes and been yeah. Yeah, and then
there's chaparty. Yeah. But the time you're fending the protein

(50:33):
and the end of the queue and they're being fished
out of the stew. Yeah, and if you like, you
get like two three pieces. Yeah, but that food slaps
because that's what we're eating sharks. Yeah. And it should
be okay to come to your house and you've imagine
you've thrown down, Yes you knew I'm coming. You invited

(50:54):
me for dinner. You've thrown down, You've done a three course,
four course. But I'm here picking good food bad food.
Friendship we learn because I've now I've even pedestalized this
whole framing of food good food, bad food over our
relationship because you're going out of your way to throw
down like that is respect for me as your friend.

(51:18):
But now I have reduced it to calories. Yeah, so
we need to reframe what is good? What is what
is this good food bad food thing? And focus more
on nourishing your body. Nutrition is not just about eating
anything and persardly? Do you feel your car with water? Why?
What is? And I drive this me looking when they're one.

(51:45):
But we're happy to serving our body exactly for the
goals we have. Yeah, and then now we better ourselves.
I love when you say, think about how it it's
nourishing you because that reframed. I used to eat very poorly,

(52:07):
like fruits, vegetables. It would be a fight for me
from when I was young. I think it's how vegetables
were introduced to me. But you know what, yeah, I
let that generation they were trying that there's nobody the
fear and the eat your vegetables, you know what I mean?

(52:32):
There was a threat around.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Vegetables, and I just feel like maybe that was the
right part. But I'm an adult now and I found
that I make a lot more progress making sure I'm
eating my my I love my purple, I love my bananas.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
I love and especially even looking for things with fibers
and things like that. What I tell myself is this
is you showing yourself. It's not even about the thing
you're eating. It's wow, you give yourself some papaya this morning,
isn't that nice? Like you got all of that fiber in,

(53:12):
or you got all of these goods nutrients nutrients. The
more color you have on your plate, the more nutriants,
because all different colors represent different nutrients. And if you
go to think places like Pinterest and just such food color,
it's called the eat your rainbow, the search eat your rainbow,
it will give you red, purple, green, yellow, white, brown,

(53:35):
and then it will give you which nutrients we found.
We find like red and orange is vitamin A, and
then green we have a lot of vitamin K. So
that's why when you're having problems with anemia or your
blood levels are low, your told go eat a lot
of spinach. The whites what you call cruciferous vegetables. So cabbage,

(53:59):
colifl our white, on your spring, on your like No,
I like cauliflowers, the cauliflower and broccoli. As a case,
when you think about what you're giving your body, you're
giving it what it needs. So ninety percent of the time,
eighty to ninety percent of the time, give your body
what it needs. They are the ten to twenty percent
give your body what it once. Because life is when

(54:22):
you sit down. I remember my grandma, she would make that.
My grandmother never liked cooking, and we knew that like
ad from the time of my body. Yeah, my mom
was a fantastic cook, because silly is she She would
cook from a very young age. So when you go
to my grandma's house, the things you'd find, Number one
was cis this mokimo they make and then it's stood

(54:45):
in the granary. The one you like fresh is nice, okay,
the one that has been preserved here in the journally
for six months and it was made with hard dried
maz It has a crust, it's gold matter. It has
a crust on the outside. You guys are ever, it's

(55:08):
like I have food. You're there eating with tears. Tears
that does not happen because you know, and to show
you're being arrogant, like we have food and you're you're
being proud about it. It was not. It didn't taste great.
And as soon as we ate that, then you were

(55:30):
waiting for her to offer you a cup of chocolate,
because then that is what satisfied you. So when you're
eating food that is very nourishing, very nutritious, very whole,
sometimes you don't feel satisfied. You are full, your stomach
is full, but you're not satisfied. That's why you go
for a slice of bread after you're done, So you're

(55:52):
not satisfied. So there's room in your life for nourishing
food and then food that satisfies you. If we meet
you and me, unless we have a joint that we
go eat girly yeah, and man, that meeting Moon's like yeah,
that tea, Yeah, that tea that I have for you,

(56:16):
woon'd slap. Unless you're having a steak, yes, or something
that came with flames and the cake desare share, Yes,
bring this dessert, this dessert schoons, we want to share.
There's something it does for you. It satisfies you. So
there's the physical nourishment and feeling food that should take

(56:37):
up eighty to ninety percent of your food. Today's generation
is well fed. Many of us are getting two to
three meals a day. But you are the most magnorished
generation ever. Wow, if I took blood work in this room,
we will be missing something. Most of us will be
missing something. You're vitamin dieselo because we don't get out

(56:59):
into the yes, and we have sunscreen everywhere. Yeah, another person,
the iron levels are loone. They don't like Miami. I
don't like that. Greens I don't like. I don't eat.
I don't want. How many things do eat? Do we
not eat because your mother gave you too much? Yeah?
Or me your cook pumpkins in my house. But it

(57:26):
is nourishing. Food, especially food that's coming from the earth
is nourishing. And if you can figure out where it's
coming from nowhere your food is coming from even better.
If you can eat your gannic and you can afford
it to go ahead, if you can plant a kitchen
and that you have a garden, even just seeing that
food grow, there's a respect you have for that. Yes.
Now when I'm eating it, even carrots, I'm just like,

(57:49):
that's my snack. Yes, so food is nourishment. So you
need to remember before I love that before we use
it as a cratch. Because we use it as a cratch.
The reason why you eat your feeling is because it's
easier not to talk about it. It's so funny because
I used to have to have ice cream every night.

(58:10):
Every night, like the after dinner, I had to have
ice cream. And it's funny, like when you make progress
with your emotions, I don't know what happens, and I
almost have to force myself to be like that ice
cream is going to expire like Jerman, we have to

(58:30):
eat it right, and it's you're right. We do use
it as an emotional crutch. Use it is a crutch.
So to the woman who's watching who wants to start
her fitness journey, wants to because we've been talking about
this from I think season one, season two and now
wants to start resistance training or strength training, wants to

(58:53):
age stronger and healthier, but it's scared to start. What
would you tell that woman. One of the best investments
you'll ever make in fitness is getting a good coach
so that you're not grouping in the dark for five years. Yeah,
getting a good coach gives you a step ahead. If

(59:16):
your parents just give you books at home in your education, yeah,
would you be here also being stand up to because
but because there was somebody guiding you and telling you
do this this way, practice this way, turn this way.
This one you're good at, focus on this one. Hey,
this one you're struggling, Let's go this way. The guidance

(59:39):
of a coach, even just their their opinion, because they're
experts on that. We don't treat ourselves. Yeah, when you're
well and you're like, okay, that's an email, you go
to the hospital, you speak to someone, you're struggling with something,
you ask somebody for advice. So get a coach, even
if the bare minimum is a consultation that you're going to.

(01:00:00):
I do a lot of consultations. I would say around
fifty to sixty percent of the clients I do consultations
with don't train with me. It's not a guarantee. You
might not be ready to train with me, you might
not be needing my training. I've had conversations with clients
where after doing a consultation, I'm like, you need to

(01:00:21):
start with therapy. There's something bigger here. The weight is
filing up because of stress, and if you don't address
the stress or there's a medical underlying medical issue that
you need to address. So invest in a coach, do
the bare minimum a consultation. The second thing is, once
you've done that, invest in your well being and fitness.

(01:00:43):
There's this whole conversation of I'll do fitness when I
can afford it, And I'm like, Okay, how much is it?
How much is it to have a trainer, how much
is it to have a coach? How much is gym
membership at the gym in your hood. We don't even
know the price, but we decide we've already decided this
thing is expensive. But that shoe you've been I've addressed,

(01:01:06):
I'm saving for I get it next year, but I've started. Yeah.
So it's about where do you value yourself exactly? So
your priorities will that's visible based on what you're investing. Yeah.
So if you think your health is important and your
fitness is important for aging, for looks, Yeah, let's be honest,
we want to look fit, sexy, healthy, snatched. You know

(01:01:30):
that will come by being fit. Investing it, put some
money down into it, so assuming that I don't know
where we assumed that fitness should be free. I've been
in school for fitness since two thousand and five, twenty years.
I've been studying swimming. Yeah, now I'm studying menopause. I've

(01:01:51):
studied pre and post part I think four courses. Yeah.
So by the time I get here, I'm compressing twenty
years into five minutes of one answer. I give you
any to solve many things in your life, So invest
in it. Put aside whatever you can afford. I can
assure you there's a coach for whatever you can afford.
There is there's a coach somewhere who's willing to take

(01:02:14):
the money that you can afford. And if you can't
afford to put money down to it. Now do what
is free? Walk working as wonderful walk. Start by working,
Get onto YouTube. It will take time before you figure
out which is the best work out there for you,
But start somewhere. Ask another coach. Can I come for

(01:02:35):
a class? Go to pay for a gym class, Go
pay for if you see us going for events, we
give free advice at events. You can ask me all
the questions you want. Come to our dms. Yeah, like
for me. I have so many guys in my DM asking.
I have done this, it didn't work. I have tried this,
it didn't work. I can't currently afford to train. I

(01:02:56):
don't have a job. What to do? Advice? Please send
me an email and send you a free program. My
instagram is full of programs you can do, so you
don't have to train with me. You can get something.
The fitness and wellness decision you make should have a
buas to action. Take action. Don't just talk about the

(01:03:16):
bias action, because if you're not doing the thing. I
don't matter how many places I talk. I will talk
and talk and talk their clients have met do a consultation.
There's one lady I'll never forget, and I will mentioned
her name. She's called Colletter. She reached out to me
from a group we're in a common WhatsApp group, a
networking group. I had never met her. Booked a consultation

(01:03:39):
for her and her friend. They came at the time
I was doing them in caroras. I walk and talk consultation. Look,
I love to do wonderful. I don't do sit down
because I'm like, if you're starting, you're starting today with
the minimum, which is a walk. We can walk and talk.
And when we walk and talk side by side, there's
less judgment. You can tell me everything. Yeah, without you

(01:04:01):
were looking at the other day called the expressions or
even what are those called? The things we write on
this other captions, the captions subtitles sometime my face. You
can't see the subtitles my face. So we did a
walk and talk consultation with her and her friend, and
I got to do to understand what's her lifestyle, like

(01:04:22):
what does she want to achieve, why she's not achieving it?
And then of our consultation, I'll always give you a
few steps to go and do today. Start today before
you sign up with me. Go start on reduce this increases,
start working this many times. Do these exercises, or start
working on this. Get these health checks. It sounds like

(01:04:43):
this and this talk to a therapist. She went and
did what I said and reached out to me. I
think two years later I couldn't recognize her. She said Hi, Steph,
and I'm like, hi, do you know it? She reminded,
call it. I'm like a what happens is like I

(01:05:03):
took your advice. I walk every day. I signed up
to the gym in my hood because she lives far
from me, so I was not able to go to her.
I stopped this. I had my medicals done, I did edit,
I did two years in. I looked at her as like, congratulations,
so well, so there's a lot you can do. There's

(01:05:24):
a lot at our disposal that we can do now
if you're ready to start and you have figured out
this the amount I can put down. This is the
coach I identify with and I'm willing to work with.
Get into a strength training program at least three times
a week. Strength training is the one size fits all
for fitness. I know many people don't want us to
see it because then we look like we're only selling

(01:05:47):
one agenda. But aging, the aging currency is muscle. Anybody
aging with low muscle mass is signing up for something
they're not ready for. You lose your freedom. There's a
basic move I teach getting up from a chair for
all my senior cities and clients. I have around seven
right now, aged sixty two to seventy nine. The one

(01:06:10):
thing I teach everybody at that age is getting up
from a chair, because the moment they can't get up
from a chair, which is all muscle work. They can't
go to the bathroom, they can't see it. Yeah, I
have to call it there waits's on a long phone
called she went outside now here press yeah. So I
start feeling like a burden and that stresses me even

(01:06:31):
more so. The aging currency is muscle. The more muscle
you have, the less fat your body will stop. Muscle
is high maintenance, tissue, very high maintenance. It needs a
lot of energy. Anybody a lot of muscle is just
sitting there burning galleries, just chili. To maintain muscle, the
integrity requires a lot more energy than if your body

(01:06:52):
doesn't have as much muscle. So you want to keep
healthier by building more muscle. There the reason you are
to build muscle is to improve your bone density. Things
like bone density are reducing it now for women, it's
even worse if you've had children. Exactly, there was depletion.
If you get into menopods and perimenopause, we are seeing

(01:07:12):
still prosis, Yeah, significantly on the rise because of perimenopose,
because of low estrogen. Estrogen increases bond density. So when
it starts to decline, what happens to the bone. Then
I have had three children and then I'm not in
any calcium supplements. In fact, I don't even take milk.
It blows me now like I'm speaking of myself. It's

(01:07:35):
really I don't take you. So the one culcium thing
I was told, of course we now have no many
other sources, but the one I was told would be
good I don't take. So if you're training and building muscles,
muscle needs a foundation or something to sit on. It
sits on bones. All your muscles sit on bones. So
the bigger your muscle, if I have a muscle that size,

(01:07:55):
the bone is not doing too mature. Yeah, the more
I build it, the bone has to catch up. But
you're not giving the bone what it needs to catch up.
But as long as your strength training, your bond density
is increasing. Okay, so strength training is important to increase
your bond density. The other thing that strength training will
do for you to look the way you want in clothes.

(01:08:18):
Let's be vain for a moment. I was like, and
there's address you want to address? You tried it? You
because not even in the I'm working towards getting it
if I haven't, But you're right about because there's a
way in the shop and about and I'm like I

(01:08:42):
because also I love toned yes, and that and we
can't tell because you wear tops is a very important
of so important exactly. So you want your body to
look a certain way that is only muscle. Yeah, there's
statics that you're looking for in those farms that we

(01:09:04):
call it in fitness as talion booty. Yeah, that one
is only built. The body is a muscle. It's a
group of muscles. It doesn't grow by sitting on it.
It grows by working on it. So that look that
esthetic look, and especially for women, you want to wear
that dress and it looks like it was made for you.

(01:09:26):
That is muscular. Yeah. So, and the more strength training
you do, we talked about the link with mental health. Yeah,
so strength training, get into strength training. Strength training should
be done at least three times a week on the minimum,
if you go hard or a bit heavier, you can
do four to five times a week. Anything about that
might feel more stressful than it should be. And you

(01:09:48):
need to catch up the nutrition with the training. Compliment
your training with good nutrition. So don't train your body
and then eat things that are not nourishing and repair
in those muscles because every time you train tear the
mass all a bit. So you want to replenish what
you've utilized in the workout, repair those muscles. Rest is
also very important. That's why I say go ahead or

(01:10:10):
go home, and they go home. Team, Let's be rest
because we are tired, we are exhausted, we are stressed.
Rest is so important. So having a rest day like
three days, because you can train Monday, Wednesday, Friday or Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday,
the days in between. Please don't sit down and do nothing.
That's your day to walk. Yes, that's the day. And

(01:10:31):
you know, walking is such a free untidepressant. It's so therapeutic.
When you walk, you see life continuing around. Yes, if
you are stuck thinking about your own issues, you get
out and walk. You see ader border, you see a
butterfly tree, you see these trees, You hear birds, you

(01:10:53):
feel the window your face. So it does something for you.
So get into a program and then get a coach.
As you don't just hire any coach just because I
have testimonials on my page, I might not be the
coach for you. Kind of like a therapist. It's like
you almost you need to think. Yeah, it's like dating
around internew your coach. So during the consultation, listen to

(01:11:17):
how they talk to you, how they talk about their work.
Look at the testimonials if you know anybody who's worked
with them. I like coaches who come to me from
referrals because I can ask questions about that person and
ask how they how do they coach, what's their coaching style,
what's their temperament? Because even me, I will get frustrated.

(01:11:37):
I'm human, But will I be bringing it out on
you in the session? Then we see some of us
know some trainers who are angry. We know the day
they're angry, just the day we're all dying in the gym.
We're dying. We must save this. Yeah, is it? It's
very confusing. So interview that coach, get a coach who

(01:12:01):
fits the kind of training you want to do, and
it will take time. Just the same way, we are
still investing. Have you made enough money? No? I thought
you have tried everything. We're still going for it, trying
only in fitness investments, investing this one. I lost this one.

(01:12:21):
I've got good money. This is what I'm just waiting.
This is one I'm being This is what I'm asking
a friend. There's a friend who did a meeting. I
go for this presentation? Why are we not like that
about our fitness? Go for events, Go for fitness, and
then get like minded people in your community. Sadly, the

(01:12:42):
average help of your circle determines yours. If you and
your friends are all about chili and soft lifeing, okay,
we won't well, yeah, who will carry? Who will help out? Who?
Who is helping? Who? Get hold me? We should be
able to say we're going on a trip. Everyone is

(01:13:03):
able to carry their suitcase, everyone is walking. We can
enjoy the city we're going to. So make sure even
your circle. That's so interesting. Your circle and women are communal. Yeah,
so we don't do things in a bublo. You will
try and do that thing in secret. Then one day
talk I do you like, let me tell you guys
I've not been telling you, and guys are like, why

(01:13:23):
didn't you tell us? Even as we want So finally,
when you share it, everyone is feeling like when you
start working out, and you will inspire your friends and
that should be the norm in your community.

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
This is such a wonderful points Deephanie, because like I
think it speaks to even for me, I see myself
in like just wanting to age with freedom. To be
very honest, like I'm not trying to go into weightlifting championships.
I really just want to do I love morning walks.
I want to make sure the older I get, I

(01:13:55):
can still you can right, so, and thank you for like,
there's so much insight your frocked. You can have me, Yes,
I know, yes, I'd be happy to come. You'll be
our resident coach.

Speaker 1 (01:14:12):
I have a little walk here, absolutely, absolutely, But thank
you for the work that you're doing, and especially that
you're working with women at such core transitions when we're
talking about pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, menopause, those are things that

(01:14:33):
are quite tricky for women to navigate. So having you
there is so wonderful. And thanks for coming on the
show and thank you for watching this episode. I hope
you got as much insights as I did or even more.
Remember to check out the description because there's links for
you to connect with Stephanie. As she said on her
page that there are some free workouts even or you

(01:14:54):
can slide into her DMS, you can go for a
consultant consultancy walk yes and see whether you can, you know,
start walking your fitness and nutrition journey with Stephanie.

Speaker 2 (01:15:07):
If this episode resonated with you, make sure that you
share it with the women in your life who you
know to be Manderalists are always mandaliss, and make sure
you subscribe as well so you do not miss out
on the next episode