Love vs Logic: Why Finding “The One” Feels Impossible | Mo Gawdat | Be Well Moments

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Can love be both spiritual and logical? In this clip, we look at love as two souls belonging together while also examining how finding a partner can be approached with mathematics and market dynamics.

This clip explores a definition of love as a spiritual connection that seeks expression in the physical world, contrasts love and fear, and considers why falling in love feels easy while “finding the one” is a complex equation with thousands of parameters and weightings. I’m exploring with my guest how a “best friend” style perspective could help people notice their recurring patterns and talk openly about the areas that need work, rather than getting carried away by early positives. This segment examines the dating market through a supply and demand lens, including the 80-20 pattern where many women focus on a small pool of men, how that skews behavior and expectations, and why so many good matches are missed.

As a nutritionist and health communicator, I’m interested in how these emotional frameworks shape day-to-day wellbeing and decision-making around relationships.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Live Well Be Well, a show to help high performers
improve their health and well-being.
Do you believe in a soul mate? I believe in multiple soul
mates. I believe if we talk about what
Love Actually is, which is really interesting because we

(00:21):
last time we spoke about the definition of emotions.
And for a a weird geek like me, emotions can follow logic,
right? As as erratic as they may seem.
You know, fear is an A conviction that the moment in
the future is less safe than now.
You can put that in an algebraic, you know an algebra
and and turn it into equation. Also, love and fear aren't that

(00:43):
different. Love and fear, that's a very,
very well known study. You know, I don't want to call
it study, but it's, you know, Brene Brown's work.
I have to admit they are very different.
Really. Yeah.
I think fear is in the physical universe.
Love is in the spiritual universe.
OK. And, and in my mind, the only
actual logical definition I could find for love is that it

(01:06):
is 2 souls belonging together that are longing to be together
in the physical world, right? So, so love happens at that
spiritual level and then the twosouls will take their avatars
and say let's get them together in that paradigm too.
OK, now here's the problem. Imagine a car market where 80%

(01:29):
of all customers want 20% of allbrands only, right?
This is exactly what's happeningin the dating world. 80% of
women are chasing 20% top men, which I hate to call, you know,
to use the the term used by the industry, they call them high
value men, right? And 80% of men are crazy about

(01:54):
the supermodels, right? And, and again, they call those
high value women. Now, high value for who, OK,
and, and, and and how, what elseother than being high value in
terms of successful and, you know, driving a sports car and
so on for the man, what else counts?
You know, I, I hate to say that,but I'm a high value man, right?

(02:17):
So I get a ton of interest. If I didn't have the ethics and
the genuine craving for true andgenuine love, I'd be very, very,
very spoilt, OK? And that's exactly what happens.
So 80% of women are chasing a very small percentage of men,
OK? Those men become really, really

(02:38):
spoiled, uninterested and becomethe sort of the reference for
most women's minds around what how a man behaves because he's
really not that interested, OK, While the other 80% of men are
dying to get a chance to meet you, but they don't even get
their, you know, their likes acknowledged, OK.

(02:58):
And, and interestingly, that continues those, you know, those
become like the others. Either they start to pretend to
be something they're not, or they start to settle for a
shallower relationship and and the whole thing works wrong.
Thanks so much for listening to hear the full episode.
There's a link in the description.