November 10, 2025 • 80 mins
Former Buddhist monk and Mindfulness Exercises founder Sean Fargo explores what full acceptance really means in mindfulness and meditation—meeting fear, anxiety, judgment, and resistance with embodied awareness and self-compassion.
https://mindfulnessexercises.com/podcast/
Drawing on years of teaching across prisons, hospitals, classrooms, and companies, Sean translates Buddhist psychology, trauma-sensitive mindfulness, and practical nervous system regulation into simple moves you can use today—without turning practice into performance.
Expect a grounded look at acceptance vs. resignation, how to work inside your window of tolerance, and ways to steady attention with noting and breath awareness. You’ll hear how body-based mindfulness (skin, flesh, blood, air, bone) restores safety, how to soften striving and “fixing,” and how fierce compassion supports wise action. Ideal for mindfulness teachers, therapists, coaches, and dedicated practitioners who want real tools for emotional regulation, resilience, and teaching with integrity.
✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn
- What “acceptance” means (and what it doesn’t) in mindfulness practice
- How acceptance creates space before reaction or change
- Why gentle awareness and fierce compassion go hand in hand
- A guided meditation on sensing the layers of the body — skin, flesh, blood, air, bone
- How to bring mindfulness to worry, fear, and feelings of unsafety
- Practical tools like noting practice and embodied grounding
- Insights from Sean’s live Q&A on anxiety, safety, and the breath
- How acceptance connects with teachings from Byron Katie and Nonviolent Communication
Chapters
00:00 – Opening reflections on the word “acceptance”
02:00 – Why we resist acceptance and what it really means
04:00 – The practice of full acceptance
07:00 – Guided Meditation about Acceptance
56:11 – Working with worry, fear, and uncertainty (Leslie’s question)
01:02:31 – Using noting and embodiment to balance thought-based worry
01:08:38 – Working with shortness of breath and striving (Jean’s question)
01:10:10 – Creative ways to connect with the breath
01:15:51 – Byron Katie’s “The Work” and fierce compassion
01:19:00 – Closing reflections
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:05):
Alright, welcome everyone.
My name is John Fargo.
I'd like to thank you forlistening today.
We're gonna be exploring areally rich topic that I think
most of us could use a lot ofhelp with these days, which is
the topic of acceptance.
(00:25):
Over the years, I've kind ofquite away from using the word
acceptance because I a lot ofpeople got nervous around this
word.
Like, why are you asking me tolike something that I'm trying
to get rid of?
(00:46):
Or why are you asking me tocondone something that's not
right?
Or why are you asking me to wantmore of something I don't want?
What's word of topics?
(01:08):
What were we looking for in thecontext of mindfulness and
working with?
What's the what's out of here?
The knowledge of the course, theknowledgeable article of the
(01:31):
topic of the core of a lot ofpeople.
(01:58):
Um up or the quality of thecolour.
Regardless of what I want tohappen, I'll have to call it.
I can accept the for what it is.
(02:27):
Um do anything right now.
Can I just practice openingtowards here?
I don't have to do anything elseright now.
All I need to do is just acceptthis or whatever.
Allow the situation to becareful.
(02:49):
Oh the cloud.
Okay.
How can I do something aboutthat?
What is it that I want to add?
Um, how do I uh process that uhcontent to accept after I've
(03:16):
accepted the reality of it?
Most of us I think are the uhahead.
Okay.
I don't want to be with it.
I can't accept it at the top ofthe point of and so in today's
episode, we're gonna be talkingabout uh what acceptance is in
(03:36):
the context, what it's not, howto practice about the meditation
with it, opening more fully tothe lawyer of our code, and
we're also gonna be featuring apowerful conversation program.
How does someone in ourcertification program?
Someone who um was uh bringingthis topic up, um, we're gonna
(04:04):
be featuring that explorer andhow it was helpful for them.
So wherever you are right now,if you want to take a moment to
get comfortable, we'll get ourpractice together and explore a
really powerful practice ofacceptance.
(04:24):
One thing to go moreappreciative of is when we do
come to a full acceptance andallow ourselves to feel fully
and to accept those feelings andto feel the acceptance, but we
can also communicate the otheror maybe we can communicate with
(04:53):
other people communicate withourselves if we can process the
non-factor communication, uh,what's here, like in an
objective way, like objectively,what is here, what are the
what's going on objectively,like what's happenable, what's
(05:13):
going on, what's going good,what's not going to, how am I
feeling about it, in anonviolent way, like there's
different words that areskillful, certain feelings that
we can say that are unskillful,that are actually quite violent,
or we can use a non-violentcommunity what's going on
(05:35):
internally for us, or we canmake requests ourselves or other
the community going through theprocess can be very helpful as a
next step after full acceptancebecause there might be a
possibility that we haven'tquite considered from our
(05:56):
previous book of your or thequestion.
So in our sort of kitchenprogram, we have the cover,
which I have to recommend.
If you have a box, maybe whatyou mean or the car.
(07:06):
Let's take a few moments now tosettle into our practice.
I invite you to follow along aswe explore this meditation on
acceptance together.
(30:30):
Acceptance of all of theseenergies and all of these layers
of the body.
SPEAKER_02 (35:26):
Breathing the whole body.
SPEAKER_01 (35:35):
Breathing more deeply with bigger inhales and
exhale.
(37:26):
Thanking ourselves for acceptingall of these sensations in all
of these layers.
(42:04):
Maybe wiggling your fingers ortoe.
Moving around a little orientingto the space around us.
(45:31):
Sometimes we mistake gentlenesswith barely noticing or kind of
sensing the superficial layer ofexperience.
(46:28):
Anxiety grief trauma and or fearinside our body.
(48:09):
Usually it's subconscious.
Today I used a word that I don'tnormally use in a guided
(48:32):
meditation.
SPEAKER_02 (48:41):
Acceptance.
SPEAKER_01 (55:49):
And now you'll hear an exchange from our live QA
session in our certificationprogram.
Where we explore how acceptanceshows up in our daily lives in
our practice.
SPEAKER_04 (56:26):
I have something.
Okay, hi John.
So this has to do so my mainfocus with this course now.
Eventually maybe do theteaching, but I have a lot of
self-healing to do.
So I'm kind of keep taking adeep dive into meditation and
mindfulness.
And my main issue that keeps onrecurring over my life.
And now I'm 75, so I'm getting alittle tired of it.
(56:49):
Is a word problem that I have.
So I always think about whatmight be happening or what she
(57:12):
might be doing.
And oftentimes after I'mmeditating, I can sort of
uncouple that sort of thing, youknow, when you go down that
(57:33):
rabbit hole, you think one thingand then another thing and then
another thing, and then you sortof go into a panic.
So I am, I'm just I'm curiousabout a couple things.
Also, I've noticed that I'mstarting and I'm a
psychotherapist and I have had alot of Jungian therapy myself.
I've noticed that I'm alsodigging into Jungian thought
because it seems to reallycomport really well with
(57:55):
mindfulness meditation.
A lot of the same sort ofprinciples are applying.
So I am just curious about yourtake on how meditation can help
with the worry issue.
And if you have any specificsuggestions for how I can work
on this more, it's like at thepoint of my life where I'm just
tired of it.
Most of the things that youthink, 95% of them don't happen,
(58:18):
but it doesn't that that logicthat logic does not seem to
penetrate when a new one comesup.
Like you know, I'll tell myselfthings.
I don't believe your thoughts.
They're just thoughts, they'rejust a witness for your
thoughts.
But then I convince myselfagain, but this one could really
be true.
So it's there, I don't know ifit's the ego kind of getting in
there and like, don't tell us.
(58:38):
We want to we want to be able topredict things.
So that's probably the issue ofbeing in the now.
You can't you can't really knowwhat's gonna happen in the
future, but you want to know,you want to control it.
So I'm just curious about yourthoughts.
SPEAKER_01 (58:52):
Um thank you for sharing that.
That takes a lot of you know,honestly.
Um Feeling unsafe.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:01):
Consciously, like in the meditation, consciously
brought that, or you are yousaying, does it kind of float
up?
Does it, is it a thought that Ihave?
How would I consciously bringit?
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:12):
So could be in a quote unquote meditation, but to
really pause for you know acouple hours and settle the
mind, sense into the layers ofenergy in the body,
acknowledging I don't feel safe,accepting.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:32):
Well, that's when it came up when you were talking
about the layers.
This is a hard one to accept,you know, like I should feel
safe.
What's wrong?
Nothing's going on here, youknow.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:41):
Well, I'm not talking about a felt like a
cognitive.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:45):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:45):
I mean, part of it is cognitive, but I'm not asking
you to rationalize it or debunkit or understand it.
Like my sense is that you may betrying to rationalize or
understand, like in your humanbody, dropping the story of
Leslie, dropping the story ofyour profession, dropping your
(01:01:07):
age.
Maybe there's a five-year-oldLeslie or a 20-year-old Leslie
or some Leslie that isterrified.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:14):
No, that's absolutely true because that
that fits into the Nungian stuffthat I've been, the inner child
stuff.
I think that's absolutely true.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:22):
And so, you know, there's all these techniques and
modalities for talking to thatself and comforting her, all of
which are valid.
But it it sounds like you'resaying there's a barrier to
accepting the the terror.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:39):
There can be.
It doesn't feel good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:41):
Oh, totally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:42):
It's like bringing in something that's that's why I
say it sort of comes in thesewaves.
And when if I'm allowing it,then I'm feeling it.
And there is a part of me thatjust doesn't want to feel it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:53):
Well, that's that's the crux.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:55):
I don't want to feel it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:56):
Totally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:57):
And I and I know, I know I I can remember so well
when I first started doingmeditating and I was doing the
John Cabot's in the body scan,and he's like, let me feel it.
I remember him saying that.
And I'm like, no, I don't wantto.
No, I don't want to feel it.
Totally.
It's not it's not fun.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:13):
No.
So why why would we want to dosomething that feels horrible?
Or I'm saying horrible inquotes, because a horrible
implies a judgment.
SPEAKER_04 (01:02:25):
Uncomfortable, uncomfortable, let's say.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:28):
Exactly.
And that kind of so I want tobookmark that because that's my
next suggestion is notingpractice.
But but I do want to stay withthis for a second, which is
these layers of accepting.
And like some of us, myselfincluded, get caught sometimes
in the cognitive accepting, likea head-based accepting.
(01:02:50):
It's like, okay, I understand.
But what I'm what I'm invitingis a few layers down.
It's almost like in the soul,like in the core.
SPEAKER_04 (01:02:59):
Feels deep, feels very deep.
SPEAKER_01 (01:03:02):
And so kind of kind of going for it, kind of like
trying to touch on like thisgentle awareness.
Okay, I get it, I understand it.
It makes sense.
This is here, now what?
But like accepting, dropping allof this, like really just
accepting this and allowingyourself to kind of just break
(01:03:27):
open, break down.
Like I am I'm scared, I amterrified.
Like I am terrified, and itdoesn't have to make sense, and
there doesn't have to beanything that you're actually
like afraid of like now, and itdoesn't have to be 2025, just
like like deep down, I don'tfeel safe.
(01:03:48):
It's it's not clock time, like Idon't feel safe, and this sucks.
Like, there's this feeling thatI'm not safe, and the acceptance
part is like not judging it, notrationalizing it, not labeling
it.
It's just I accept that this ismy experience now, and this is
(01:04:09):
this is true.
And I may not know what I'mgonna do in five seconds, but
like in this moment, I acceptthis layer.
SPEAKER_04 (01:04:16):
Do you think that would help to for dropping the
stories?
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:19):
I don't know.
They'll be they'll be helpfulfor dropping the stories, but I
think they'll be helpful forrelating to them more lightly.
That's one idea is like likereally like exploring a full
acceptance of not feeling safe.
You could you could frame thatin the negative, like I don't
feel safe, or you could frame itlike I do feel X, like terror,
(01:04:43):
threat, violence, shame.
You know, you can really explorewhat you do feel, and it may be
surprising.
And the fear and the terror mayalso be surprising in the sense
that like I'm afraid of X, andand it may be death,
unworthiness, being unlovable,not being good enough, not
(01:05:07):
connecting with you know one orboth of my parents or
caregivers, you know, justhumanity not meaning anything.
Like it could be anything, butwhat's at the core?
And can I work with acceptingthat day to day to day to day to
day?
Because this acceptance takespractice.
SPEAKER_04 (01:05:29):
I feel like I'm in this process now and I can't I
can't leave it.
I have to continue with it, youknow.
It feels important.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05:35):
Absolutely.
Another idea, you know, becausea lot of what you're describing
felt cognitive, getting to thenoting practice of noting
physical sensations.
Okay, noting touch points ofankles on on the carpet, knees
resting against the couch, likethe touch points of where your
(01:05:56):
body's touching something, okay,what your hands are touching,
sensing the bones, likedifferent bones, all bones,
certain, you know, the bones andthe layers of the bones, and the
like the sensations of the skinand the weight of the body, the
sensations of the skull, thespace between the brain and the
(01:06:19):
skull.
Okay, like getting your hands inthe soil, on the grass, on the
stone, on the sidewalk, barefeet on the ground, touching,
feeling, connecting with thesoil, the grass, the trees, like
really connecting with theearth, like physically bringing
(01:06:40):
full awareness to the connectionof your body on the earth.
And and even sensing, this mightsound wild, but sensing 10 feet
below the topsoil, sensing intothe undulations of the earth
around you, and sensing likeclosing your eyes and sensing 10
feet below the ground, 20 feetbelow the ground, connecting
(01:07:05):
with 20 feet below the ground.
So getting into your body tofind that balance when you're
kind of lost in worry, and someof your worries are valid, and
that's totally normal to havethese fears.
But I think what you're lookingfor is that balance.
You know, I have concerns aboutmy daughter too and the world,
(01:07:27):
and but to remember to connectwith the body to find that
balance.
SPEAKER_04 (01:07:31):
And the noting is part of the meditation too.
It's like when something comesup, just noting it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:07:36):
And sometimes like it can you can have structure
with it, like every 10 seconds,I'll note something.
And if I note the same thingevery 10 seconds, that's fine.
But is my awareness at differentparts of the body?
And every five or 10 seconds,can I just make a little quick
note?
And it can be a out loud verbalnote or an internal quiet note,
(01:07:57):
and you can note differentparts, body, or connection.
But that can be a nice structureto help find help you find
balance with the thought-basedworries.
And if you had shared adifferent challenge, you know,
maybe it's a different kind ofnoting practice.
But just given what you shared,I think like a straight physical
(01:08:17):
noting practice could be a goodantidote.
SPEAKER_04 (01:08:21):
Okay, no, that's good.
And I also wanted to say thatI've seen all these chats, I
haven't looked at them yet, butit looks like maybe there's some
good ideas in there too.
I have I just haven't pulledthem up yet.
But look at them.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08:31):
Is it Gene?
SPEAKER_00 (01:08:33):
Yes.
I do have a quick question foryou though.
Okay, like and it doesn't haveto be practiced many years, but
um, it's still I think verysuperficial.
But when I try in the practicingattending, I try to focus on the
breathing, the inflating and thedeflating of the basic was
(01:08:57):
there.
Because I feel like I'm feelingvery basic.
I also have to force it,basically, just notice it's
easy, just see the inflatingflavor.
I feel like to really make it tofeel it because my breathing, I
feel it's so short.
I can truly follow from theeating to really notice it.
(01:09:27):
Just notice it, gentleshortness.
But still, I'm still trying tofind a way to still find a way
to really just notice as ease,even when the breathe is really
short, really barely a second, ananosecond.
So I I also haven't looked atthe book book on anything yet,
(01:09:50):
so I will go through it.
But if there's a chapterspecific for that, if you can
point to it, I will go straightin.
SPEAKER_01 (01:09:58):
Thank you, Gene.
It doesn't mean it will alwaysbe like that, but you know,
today it is the way it howeverit is.
Gene, just to kind of likeanswer your question, that's
really common when we'repracticing like mindfulness of
breathing or anapanasati tostruggle with staying relaxed
(01:10:21):
and noticing the breath, theexperience of breathing.
It's really common.
I think someone posted somethingabout that in our connect
community last week too, and Ihaven't had a chance to respond,
but this comes up quite a bit.
So there's a few things you cantry.
One is kind of connected toLeslie, which is like, do I feel
(01:10:43):
safe just simply breathing?
Sometimes there's a fear whichkind of disconnects us from our
breathing, or we feel like weneed to breathe deeper.
Doing a quick practice beforemindfulness of breathing can be
helpful of gladdening the mindand sensing into what we're
grateful for, what's what bringsus joy, maybe a smile of a loved
(01:11:08):
one, something that somethingfunny that happened yesterday,
you know, maybe a you knowhaving our pet nearby helps us
gladden the mind, and we cankind of settle into noticing the
breathing a little bit easiersometimes.
One thing that works for me iskind of being creative in what I
(01:11:30):
notice about the breath.
So, for example, like usuallywhen people can't connect with
the experience of breathing,they're usually trying to relate
to the breath in the belly orthe chest or the nose.
And if you're having difficultyconnecting with breathing in one
of those places, maybe trying adifferent place.
(01:11:54):
So, like if we're trying toconnect with the rise and fall
of the belly like a balloon,let's maybe drop that and come
to the sensations of air movingin and out of the nostrils and
see if that changes things.
If you're relating to it like aballoon, inflating and
deflating, maybe change thecolor of the balloon.
Or maybe the balloon is actuallyin the shape of a heart.
(01:12:18):
Or kind of visualizing theballoon from different parts of
the body, like from the back,from the front, from the side.
Maybe putting something in themiddle of the balloon, like a
bubble that prevents the balloonfrom getting too small, being
the balloon.
There's different ways of beingcreative that some of these are
not obviously classicmindfulness techniques.
(01:12:40):
The Buddha never talked aboutthese, but like just as a way to
get comfortable with bringingawareness to breathing, and then
dropping the technique and justfeeling breathing.
You could start by sensing thebreath in the whole body and
then narrowing your field ofawareness to the belly or the
(01:13:02):
nose, noticing if a lot ofawareness is actually in the
head, where let's say you'rerelating, you're trying to
relate to the breath in thebelly, but you're relating to it
from the head.
So a lot of us will kind ofthink that this is the center of
our awareness, and that thenwe're bringing, we're kind of
(01:13:24):
looking at the belly from thehead, where a lot of the energy
is here, and we're trying torelate to the belly from here,
from the head.
And so, like things that we cando to feel more fully embodied,
where the awareness isthroughout the whole body and
not really just centered here.
(01:13:46):
We can do stretching, yoga,push-ups, tai chi, qigong,
fellden Christ, just bringingawareness with our eyes open or
closed into the hands.
Okay, awareness is here now.
It's not here so much, but likeit's more here.
Feet, you know, hips, belly.
(01:14:07):
Practice kind of bringingawareness to different parts of
the body or the whole body whereyou're embodied fully.
Because you know, mindfulness isnot brainfulness, mindfulness is
not headfulness.
The mind encapsulates our wholesensory apparatus, our whole
body, and then some.
(01:14:28):
So being embodied.
Because if we're here, it's easyto kind of like tighten around
breathing, but if we're morebalanced throughout the whole
body, it's easier for us just tokind of like for our awareness
to be in the belly, relating tothe balloon or to the breath
from the belly.
(01:14:48):
And if we notice ourselvesgetting tight or trying to
control the breath, and we'renot able to breathe naturally,
not judging ourselves to be goodor bad or wrong.
It's like, oh, okay, likedifficulty.
Oh, now I can maybe there's somefrustration or striving or just
noticing whatever's here,allowing ourselves to feel that
(01:15:09):
emotion, whatever that emotionis, you know, with gentleness,
breathing with that emotion,letting the emotion do whatever
it wants to do, and eventuallyit'll pass.
That's okay.
Simply breathing, okay.
You know, not really trying, butjust like receiving the breath,
um allowing the breath, likesoftening around the breath and
(01:15:33):
just receiving it.
Maybe there's a gentle smilethat comes with the simplicity
of this practice.
You know, Tignot Han talks aboutthis really eloquently, like a
simple breath, savoring thisbreath.
So those are a few just ideas.
SPEAKER_03 (01:15:51):
I just watched Byron Katie.
Just watched her teacher, Idon't know what you call it,
like a guest speaker seminar.
And you might really like towatch that.
What you're describing in yourprocess is very similar to some
of the work that the work thatKatie Byron Katie walks through.
(01:16:13):
And she asks the question of whowould I be without this thought?
And Jean, oh, you've encouragedme.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16:22):
Beautiful.
Byron Katie is all aboutacceptance and loving what is.
Love in what is exactly,exactly.
Like to me, she models thisfierce compassion.
It's like filled with love, andshe kind of cuts to the core
pretty quickly.
And it's like, you know, thereare times for very gentle
(01:16:44):
awareness, and there's times forfierce compassion.
And again, they're not mutuallyexclusive, but they're they can
be different approaches.
I think a lot of people arereally struggling now with
resentment and resistance andblame and grief, and we don't
want to face it.
It's not easy, it's scary.
(01:17:06):
And we do need this work offierce compassion and loving
what is and moving into theseplaces that scare us and working
with full acceptance, eventhough it's oftentimes the last
thing we want to do, which iswhy most of us, you know, will
watch way too much Netflix ordrink too much wine or eat too
(01:17:29):
much pizza or whatever it is,because we don't want to feel
these feelings.
So I just really grateful thatwe're able to have this
conversation and kind of checkin with ourselves, like, you
know, what does this mean for methese days, or how can I help
other people do this, or how canwe explore this together?
So powerful.
Mindfulness is always a refugebecause we can always come back
(01:17:52):
to hear it now, and it's usuallyquite doable when we're really
present for whatever this is,and we'll know how to process
it, we'll be able to be with it,and it is a refuge.
But like another um explorationcould be like around uncertainty
and like accepting uncertaintyand accepting the layers of
(01:18:15):
uncertainty and like what doesthat really mean to not be
certain?
And a lot of like, especiallyTibetan masters will say that
enlightenment is true comfortwith uncertainty.
By no means is this an easything for us to do, but you
know, how can we find comfort inuncertainty or a sense of safety
(01:18:38):
or a sense of riding this waveof unfolding uncertainty, you
know?
And so there's practices aroundAWE of like the the wonder of
uncertainty, of like childlikefascination with this unfolding
stimuli.
It's like, oh wow.
So maybe that's a mantra.
(01:18:59):
Like, wow.
Thank you for joining me forthis session on acceptance.
I hope the meditation andreflections offered a sense of
space and compassion forwhatever's unfolding in your own
life right now.
(01:19:20):
Acceptance isn't about likingeverything that we feel or
experience, it's about allowingthings to be as they are, even
just for a moment, withawareness and care, so that we
can then move forward with moreclarity and strength and
(01:19:42):
resolve.
If you'd like to take part inour future live sessions like
this, where we meditate togetherand explore these teachings, I'd
love to invite you to learn moreabout our mindfulness meditation
teacher certification.
You can find everything atmindfulness exercises.com slash
(01:20:05):
certify.
It's a space for deep personalpractice and growth, mentorship
and community, and reallyempowering you to share
mindfulness and meditations withothers with more confidence and
credibility.
And of course, if this episoderesonated with you, please take
(01:20:29):
a moment to give this podcast afive star review.
It would really help us to shareit with more people who might
appreciate this.
Thank you so much for yourlistening, and thank you for
your mindfulness.
Alright, welcome everyone.
My name is John Fargo.
I'd like to thank you forlistening today.
We're gonna be exploring areally rich topic that I think
most of us could use a lot ofhelp with these days, which is
the topic of acceptance.
(00:25):
Over the years, I've kind ofquite away from using the word
acceptance because I a lot ofpeople got nervous around this
word.
Like, why are you asking me tolike something that I'm trying
to get rid of?
(00:46):
Or why are you asking me tocondone something that's not
right?
Or why are you asking me to wantmore of something I don't want?
What's word of topics?
(01:08):
What were we looking for in thecontext of mindfulness and
working with?
What's the what's out of here?
The knowledge of the course, theknowledgeable article of the
(01:31):
topic of the core of a lot ofpeople.
(01:58):
Um up or the quality of thecolour.
Regardless of what I want tohappen, I'll have to call it.
I can accept the for what it is.
(02:27):
Um do anything right now.
Can I just practice openingtowards here?
I don't have to do anything elseright now.
All I need to do is just acceptthis or whatever.
Allow the situation to becareful.
(02:49):
Oh the cloud.
Okay.
How can I do something aboutthat?
What is it that I want to add?
Um, how do I uh process that uhcontent to accept after I've
(03:16):
accepted the reality of it?
Most of us I think are the uhahead.
Okay.
I don't want to be with it.
I can't accept it at the top ofthe point of and so in today's
episode, we're gonna be talkingabout uh what acceptance is in
(03:36):
the context, what it's not, howto practice about the meditation
with it, opening more fully tothe lawyer of our code, and
we're also gonna be featuring apowerful conversation program.
How does someone in ourcertification program?
Someone who um was uh bringingthis topic up, um, we're gonna
(04:04):
be featuring that explorer andhow it was helpful for them.
So wherever you are right now,if you want to take a moment to
get comfortable, we'll get ourpractice together and explore a
really powerful practice ofacceptance.
(04:24):
One thing to go moreappreciative of is when we do
come to a full acceptance andallow ourselves to feel fully
and to accept those feelings andto feel the acceptance, but we
can also communicate the otheror maybe we can communicate with
(04:53):
other people communicate withourselves if we can process the
non-factor communication, uh,what's here, like in an
objective way, like objectively,what is here, what are the
what's going on objectively,like what's happenable, what's
(05:13):
going on, what's going good,what's not going to, how am I
feeling about it, in anonviolent way, like there's
different words that areskillful, certain feelings that
we can say that are unskillful,that are actually quite violent,
or we can use a non-violentcommunity what's going on
(05:35):
internally for us, or we canmake requests ourselves or other
the community going through theprocess can be very helpful as a
next step after full acceptancebecause there might be a
possibility that we haven'tquite considered from our
(05:56):
previous book of your or thequestion.
So in our sort of kitchenprogram, we have the cover,
which I have to recommend.
If you have a box, maybe whatyou mean or the car.
(07:06):
Let's take a few moments now tosettle into our practice.
I invite you to follow along aswe explore this meditation on
acceptance together.
(30:30):
Acceptance of all of theseenergies and all of these layers
of the body.
SPEAKER_02 (35:26):
Breathing the whole body.
SPEAKER_01 (35:35):
Breathing more deeply with bigger inhales and
exhale.
(37:26):
Thanking ourselves for acceptingall of these sensations in all
of these layers.
(42:04):
Maybe wiggling your fingers ortoe.
Moving around a little orientingto the space around us.
(45:31):
Sometimes we mistake gentlenesswith barely noticing or kind of
sensing the superficial layer ofexperience.
(46:28):
Anxiety grief trauma and or fearinside our body.
(48:09):
Usually it's subconscious.
Today I used a word that I don'tnormally use in a guided
(48:32):
meditation.
SPEAKER_02 (48:41):
Acceptance.
SPEAKER_01 (55:49):
And now you'll hear an exchange from our live QA
session in our certificationprogram.
Where we explore how acceptanceshows up in our daily lives in
our practice.
SPEAKER_04 (56:26):
I have something.
Okay, hi John.
So this has to do so my mainfocus with this course now.
Eventually maybe do theteaching, but I have a lot of
self-healing to do.
So I'm kind of keep taking adeep dive into meditation and
mindfulness.
And my main issue that keeps onrecurring over my life.
And now I'm 75, so I'm getting alittle tired of it.
(56:49):
Is a word problem that I have.
So I always think about whatmight be happening or what she
(57:12):
might be doing.
And oftentimes after I'mmeditating, I can sort of
uncouple that sort of thing, youknow, when you go down that
(57:33):
rabbit hole, you think one thingand then another thing and then
another thing, and then you sortof go into a panic.
So I am, I'm just I'm curiousabout a couple things.
Also, I've noticed that I'mstarting and I'm a
psychotherapist and I have had alot of Jungian therapy myself.
I've noticed that I'm alsodigging into Jungian thought
because it seems to reallycomport really well with
(57:55):
mindfulness meditation.
A lot of the same sort ofprinciples are applying.
So I am just curious about yourtake on how meditation can help
with the worry issue.
And if you have any specificsuggestions for how I can work
on this more, it's like at thepoint of my life where I'm just
tired of it.
Most of the things that youthink, 95% of them don't happen,
(58:18):
but it doesn't that that logicthat logic does not seem to
penetrate when a new one comesup.
Like you know, I'll tell myselfthings.
I don't believe your thoughts.
They're just thoughts, they'rejust a witness for your
thoughts.
But then I convince myselfagain, but this one could really
be true.
So it's there, I don't know ifit's the ego kind of getting in
there and like, don't tell us.
(58:38):
We want to we want to be able topredict things.
So that's probably the issue ofbeing in the now.
You can't you can't really knowwhat's gonna happen in the
future, but you want to know,you want to control it.
So I'm just curious about yourthoughts.
SPEAKER_01 (58:52):
Um thank you for sharing that.
That takes a lot of you know,honestly.
Um Feeling unsafe.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:01):
Consciously, like in the meditation, consciously
brought that, or you are yousaying, does it kind of float
up?
Does it, is it a thought that Ihave?
How would I consciously bringit?
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:12):
So could be in a quote unquote meditation, but to
really pause for you know acouple hours and settle the
mind, sense into the layers ofenergy in the body,
acknowledging I don't feel safe,accepting.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:32):
Well, that's when it came up when you were talking
about the layers.
This is a hard one to accept,you know, like I should feel
safe.
What's wrong?
Nothing's going on here, youknow.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:41):
Well, I'm not talking about a felt like a
cognitive.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00:45):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:45):
I mean, part of it is cognitive, but I'm not asking
you to rationalize it or debunkit or understand it.
Like my sense is that you may betrying to rationalize or
understand, like in your humanbody, dropping the story of
Leslie, dropping the story ofyour profession, dropping your
(01:01:07):
age.
Maybe there's a five-year-oldLeslie or a 20-year-old Leslie
or some Leslie that isterrified.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:14):
No, that's absolutely true because that
that fits into the Nungian stuffthat I've been, the inner child
stuff.
I think that's absolutely true.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:22):
And so, you know, there's all these techniques and
modalities for talking to thatself and comforting her, all of
which are valid.
But it it sounds like you'resaying there's a barrier to
accepting the the terror.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:39):
There can be.
It doesn't feel good.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:41):
Oh, totally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:42):
It's like bringing in something that's that's why I
say it sort of comes in thesewaves.
And when if I'm allowing it,then I'm feeling it.
And there is a part of me thatjust doesn't want to feel it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:53):
Well, that's that's the crux.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:55):
I don't want to feel it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01:56):
Totally.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01:57):
And I and I know, I know I I can remember so well
when I first started doingmeditating and I was doing the
John Cabot's in the body scan,and he's like, let me feel it.
I remember him saying that.
And I'm like, no, I don't wantto.
No, I don't want to feel it.
Totally.
It's not it's not fun.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:13):
No.
So why why would we want to dosomething that feels horrible?
Or I'm saying horrible inquotes, because a horrible
implies a judgment.
SPEAKER_04 (01:02:25):
Uncomfortable, uncomfortable, let's say.
SPEAKER_01 (01:02:28):
Exactly.
And that kind of so I want tobookmark that because that's my
next suggestion is notingpractice.
But but I do want to stay withthis for a second, which is
these layers of accepting.
And like some of us, myselfincluded, get caught sometimes
in the cognitive accepting, likea head-based accepting.
(01:02:50):
It's like, okay, I understand.
But what I'm what I'm invitingis a few layers down.
It's almost like in the soul,like in the core.
SPEAKER_04 (01:02:59):
Feels deep, feels very deep.
SPEAKER_01 (01:03:02):
And so kind of kind of going for it, kind of like
trying to touch on like thisgentle awareness.
Okay, I get it, I understand it.
It makes sense.
This is here, now what?
But like accepting, dropping allof this, like really just
accepting this and allowingyourself to kind of just break
(01:03:27):
open, break down.
Like I am I'm scared, I amterrified.
Like I am terrified, and itdoesn't have to make sense, and
there doesn't have to beanything that you're actually
like afraid of like now, and itdoesn't have to be 2025, just
like like deep down, I don'tfeel safe.
(01:03:48):
It's it's not clock time, like Idon't feel safe, and this sucks.
Like, there's this feeling thatI'm not safe, and the acceptance
part is like not judging it, notrationalizing it, not labeling
it.
It's just I accept that this ismy experience now, and this is
(01:04:09):
this is true.
And I may not know what I'mgonna do in five seconds, but
like in this moment, I acceptthis layer.
SPEAKER_04 (01:04:16):
Do you think that would help to for dropping the
stories?
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:19):
I don't know.
They'll be they'll be helpfulfor dropping the stories, but I
think they'll be helpful forrelating to them more lightly.
That's one idea is like likereally like exploring a full
acceptance of not feeling safe.
You could you could frame thatin the negative, like I don't
feel safe, or you could frame itlike I do feel X, like terror,
(01:04:43):
threat, violence, shame.
You know, you can really explorewhat you do feel, and it may be
surprising.
And the fear and the terror mayalso be surprising in the sense
that like I'm afraid of X, andand it may be death,
unworthiness, being unlovable,not being good enough, not
(01:05:07):
connecting with you know one orboth of my parents or
caregivers, you know, justhumanity not meaning anything.
Like it could be anything, butwhat's at the core?
And can I work with acceptingthat day to day to day to day to
day?
Because this acceptance takespractice.
SPEAKER_04 (01:05:29):
I feel like I'm in this process now and I can't I
can't leave it.
I have to continue with it, youknow.
It feels important.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05:35):
Absolutely.
Another idea, you know, becausea lot of what you're describing
felt cognitive, getting to thenoting practice of noting
physical sensations.
Okay, noting touch points ofankles on on the carpet, knees
resting against the couch, likethe touch points of where your
(01:05:56):
body's touching something, okay,what your hands are touching,
sensing the bones, likedifferent bones, all bones,
certain, you know, the bones andthe layers of the bones, and the
like the sensations of the skinand the weight of the body, the
sensations of the skull, thespace between the brain and the
(01:06:19):
skull.
Okay, like getting your hands inthe soil, on the grass, on the
stone, on the sidewalk, barefeet on the ground, touching,
feeling, connecting with thesoil, the grass, the trees, like
really connecting with theearth, like physically bringing
(01:06:40):
full awareness to the connectionof your body on the earth.
And and even sensing, this mightsound wild, but sensing 10 feet
below the topsoil, sensing intothe undulations of the earth
around you, and sensing likeclosing your eyes and sensing 10
feet below the ground, 20 feetbelow the ground, connecting
(01:07:05):
with 20 feet below the ground.
So getting into your body tofind that balance when you're
kind of lost in worry, and someof your worries are valid, and
that's totally normal to havethese fears.
But I think what you're lookingfor is that balance.
You know, I have concerns aboutmy daughter too and the world,
(01:07:27):
and but to remember to connectwith the body to find that
balance.
SPEAKER_04 (01:07:31):
And the noting is part of the meditation too.
It's like when something comesup, just noting it.
SPEAKER_01 (01:07:36):
And sometimes like it can you can have structure
with it, like every 10 seconds,I'll note something.
And if I note the same thingevery 10 seconds, that's fine.
But is my awareness at differentparts of the body?
And every five or 10 seconds,can I just make a little quick
note?
And it can be a out loud verbalnote or an internal quiet note,
(01:07:57):
and you can note differentparts, body, or connection.
But that can be a nice structureto help find help you find
balance with the thought-basedworries.
And if you had shared adifferent challenge, you know,
maybe it's a different kind ofnoting practice.
But just given what you shared,I think like a straight physical
(01:08:17):
noting practice could be a goodantidote.
SPEAKER_04 (01:08:21):
Okay, no, that's good.
And I also wanted to say thatI've seen all these chats, I
haven't looked at them yet, butit looks like maybe there's some
good ideas in there too.
I have I just haven't pulledthem up yet.
But look at them.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08:31):
Is it Gene?
SPEAKER_00 (01:08:33):
Yes.
I do have a quick question foryou though.
Okay, like and it doesn't haveto be practiced many years, but
um, it's still I think verysuperficial.
But when I try in the practicingattending, I try to focus on the
breathing, the inflating and thedeflating of the basic was
(01:08:57):
there.
Because I feel like I'm feelingvery basic.
I also have to force it,basically, just notice it's
easy, just see the inflatingflavor.
I feel like to really make it tofeel it because my breathing, I
feel it's so short.
I can truly follow from theeating to really notice it.
(01:09:27):
Just notice it, gentleshortness.
But still, I'm still trying tofind a way to still find a way
to really just notice as ease,even when the breathe is really
short, really barely a second, ananosecond.
So I I also haven't looked atthe book book on anything yet,
(01:09:50):
so I will go through it.
But if there's a chapterspecific for that, if you can
point to it, I will go straightin.
SPEAKER_01 (01:09:58):
Thank you, Gene.
It doesn't mean it will alwaysbe like that, but you know,
today it is the way it howeverit is.
Gene, just to kind of likeanswer your question, that's
really common when we'repracticing like mindfulness of
breathing or anapanasati tostruggle with staying relaxed
(01:10:21):
and noticing the breath, theexperience of breathing.
It's really common.
I think someone posted somethingabout that in our connect
community last week too, and Ihaven't had a chance to respond,
but this comes up quite a bit.
So there's a few things you cantry.
One is kind of connected toLeslie, which is like, do I feel
(01:10:43):
safe just simply breathing?
Sometimes there's a fear whichkind of disconnects us from our
breathing, or we feel like weneed to breathe deeper.
Doing a quick practice beforemindfulness of breathing can be
helpful of gladdening the mindand sensing into what we're
grateful for, what's what bringsus joy, maybe a smile of a loved
(01:11:08):
one, something that somethingfunny that happened yesterday,
you know, maybe a you knowhaving our pet nearby helps us
gladden the mind, and we cankind of settle into noticing the
breathing a little bit easiersometimes.
One thing that works for me iskind of being creative in what I
(01:11:30):
notice about the breath.
So, for example, like usuallywhen people can't connect with
the experience of breathing,they're usually trying to relate
to the breath in the belly orthe chest or the nose.
And if you're having difficultyconnecting with breathing in one
of those places, maybe trying adifferent place.
(01:11:54):
So, like if we're trying toconnect with the rise and fall
of the belly like a balloon,let's maybe drop that and come
to the sensations of air movingin and out of the nostrils and
see if that changes things.
If you're relating to it like aballoon, inflating and
deflating, maybe change thecolor of the balloon.
Or maybe the balloon is actuallyin the shape of a heart.
(01:12:18):
Or kind of visualizing theballoon from different parts of
the body, like from the back,from the front, from the side.
Maybe putting something in themiddle of the balloon, like a
bubble that prevents the balloonfrom getting too small, being
the balloon.
There's different ways of beingcreative that some of these are
not obviously classicmindfulness techniques.
(01:12:40):
The Buddha never talked aboutthese, but like just as a way to
get comfortable with bringingawareness to breathing, and then
dropping the technique and justfeeling breathing.
You could start by sensing thebreath in the whole body and
then narrowing your field ofawareness to the belly or the
(01:13:02):
nose, noticing if a lot ofawareness is actually in the
head, where let's say you'rerelating, you're trying to
relate to the breath in thebelly, but you're relating to it
from the head.
So a lot of us will kind ofthink that this is the center of
our awareness, and that thenwe're bringing, we're kind of
(01:13:24):
looking at the belly from thehead, where a lot of the energy
is here, and we're trying torelate to the belly from here,
from the head.
And so, like things that we cando to feel more fully embodied,
where the awareness isthroughout the whole body and
not really just centered here.
(01:13:46):
We can do stretching, yoga,push-ups, tai chi, qigong,
fellden Christ, just bringingawareness with our eyes open or
closed into the hands.
Okay, awareness is here now.
It's not here so much, but likeit's more here.
Feet, you know, hips, belly.
(01:14:07):
Practice kind of bringingawareness to different parts of
the body or the whole body whereyou're embodied fully.
Because you know, mindfulness isnot brainfulness, mindfulness is
not headfulness.
The mind encapsulates our wholesensory apparatus, our whole
body, and then some.
(01:14:28):
So being embodied.
Because if we're here, it's easyto kind of like tighten around
breathing, but if we're morebalanced throughout the whole
body, it's easier for us just tokind of like for our awareness
to be in the belly, relating tothe balloon or to the breath
from the belly.
(01:14:48):
And if we notice ourselvesgetting tight or trying to
control the breath, and we'renot able to breathe naturally,
not judging ourselves to be goodor bad or wrong.
It's like, oh, okay, likedifficulty.
Oh, now I can maybe there's somefrustration or striving or just
noticing whatever's here,allowing ourselves to feel that
(01:15:09):
emotion, whatever that emotionis, you know, with gentleness,
breathing with that emotion,letting the emotion do whatever
it wants to do, and eventuallyit'll pass.
That's okay.
Simply breathing, okay.
You know, not really trying, butjust like receiving the breath,
um allowing the breath, likesoftening around the breath and
(01:15:33):
just receiving it.
Maybe there's a gentle smilethat comes with the simplicity
of this practice.
You know, Tignot Han talks aboutthis really eloquently, like a
simple breath, savoring thisbreath.
So those are a few just ideas.
SPEAKER_03 (01:15:51):
I just watched Byron Katie.
Just watched her teacher, Idon't know what you call it,
like a guest speaker seminar.
And you might really like towatch that.
What you're describing in yourprocess is very similar to some
of the work that the work thatKatie Byron Katie walks through.
(01:16:13):
And she asks the question of whowould I be without this thought?
And Jean, oh, you've encouragedme.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16:22):
Beautiful.
Byron Katie is all aboutacceptance and loving what is.
Love in what is exactly,exactly.
Like to me, she models thisfierce compassion.
It's like filled with love, andshe kind of cuts to the core
pretty quickly.
And it's like, you know, thereare times for very gentle
(01:16:44):
awareness, and there's times forfierce compassion.
And again, they're not mutuallyexclusive, but they're they can
be different approaches.
I think a lot of people arereally struggling now with
resentment and resistance andblame and grief, and we don't
want to face it.
It's not easy, it's scary.
(01:17:06):
And we do need this work offierce compassion and loving
what is and moving into theseplaces that scare us and working
with full acceptance, eventhough it's oftentimes the last
thing we want to do, which iswhy most of us, you know, will
watch way too much Netflix ordrink too much wine or eat too
(01:17:29):
much pizza or whatever it is,because we don't want to feel
these feelings.
So I just really grateful thatwe're able to have this
conversation and kind of checkin with ourselves, like, you
know, what does this mean for methese days, or how can I help
other people do this, or how canwe explore this together?
So powerful.
Mindfulness is always a refugebecause we can always come back
(01:17:52):
to hear it now, and it's usuallyquite doable when we're really
present for whatever this is,and we'll know how to process
it, we'll be able to be with it,and it is a refuge.
But like another um explorationcould be like around uncertainty
and like accepting uncertaintyand accepting the layers of
(01:18:15):
uncertainty and like what doesthat really mean to not be
certain?
And a lot of like, especiallyTibetan masters will say that
enlightenment is true comfortwith uncertainty.
By no means is this an easything for us to do, but you
know, how can we find comfort inuncertainty or a sense of safety
(01:18:38):
or a sense of riding this waveof unfolding uncertainty, you
know?
And so there's practices aroundAWE of like the the wonder of
uncertainty, of like childlikefascination with this unfolding
stimuli.
It's like, oh wow.
So maybe that's a mantra.
(01:18:59):
Like, wow.
Thank you for joining me forthis session on acceptance.
I hope the meditation andreflections offered a sense of
space and compassion forwhatever's unfolding in your own
life right now.
(01:19:20):
Acceptance isn't about likingeverything that we feel or
experience, it's about allowingthings to be as they are, even
just for a moment, withawareness and care, so that we
can then move forward with moreclarity and strength and
(01:19:42):
resolve.
If you'd like to take part inour future live sessions like
this, where we meditate togetherand explore these teachings, I'd
love to invite you to learn moreabout our mindfulness meditation
teacher certification.
You can find everything atmindfulness exercises.com slash
(01:20:05):
certify.
It's a space for deep personalpractice and growth, mentorship
and community, and reallyempowering you to share
mindfulness and meditations withothers with more confidence and
credibility.
And of course, if this episoderesonated with you, please take
(01:20:29):
a moment to give this podcast afive star review.
It would really help us to shareit with more people who might
appreciate this.
Thank you so much for yourlistening, and thank you for
your mindfulness.
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