Love and Astrology with Matchmaker Daniel Cooley & Celebrity Astrologer Kyle Thomas

On this episode of On the Rocks,

we take a deep dive into love and astrology with Daniel Cooley, co-founder of Best Man Matchmaking here to talk about dating tips, red flags, and hot topics with celebrity astrologer Kyle Thomas from People Magazine, Good Morning America, and more, to talk about how our charts can map our love future and what to expect with the season up ahead...with your sasssy host with the sassy most, Alexander Rodriguez. Raise a glass, it's On the Rocks!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Strawhut Media.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello on the Rockers, are you looking for love? Well,
we got you covered today with Daniel Cooley, co founder
of best Man Matchmaking, to give us some dating tips
for Spring with celebrity astrologer from People Magazine and good Morning,
a Miracle, A Miracle. Kyle Thomas is here and me
you're Sassy host with the Sassy Moast. Raise a glass
that the drinks begin. It's on the Rocks. You life

(00:30):
is a banquet and most poor suckers are.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
Starving to death.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'd like to propose a toast.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is on the Rocks with Alexander, where I drink
with your favorite celebrities as you talk about fashion, entertainment,
pop culture, reality TV and well that's about it. So
pop a cork, lean back and raise.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
A glass to arm the Rocks on your seasons. It's
like to be a.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Lord. Have mercy, buttons and bows and pannehos on the
Rocks Podcast in place where we're too glamed to give
it to am. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok on the
Rocks on Aaron on Facebook. On The Rocks Radio Show,
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Keinsanierra Briss, I don't care, I'll show up info at
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eight episodes for free at on the Rocks radiosho dot com.

(01:21):
You can watch us some Apple TV, Roku, Amazon, fireTV,
on the Out dot Tv, at Facebook, watch on GED magazine,
and I Love Gay LGBTQ streaming with Pride on SVTV
and on Channel thirty one on the East Coast. Hello
East Coast. We probably tape at ubn go Studios, your
one stop place for podcasting. All right, let's get the
show on the road. Enter professional matchmaker Daniel Cooley, co
owner of Best Man Matchmaking, on a mission to help

(01:43):
LGBTQ folks find real love and long term commitment. Utilizing
his talented nonprofit real estate, entertainment, massage, therapy, and spirituality.
He's dedicated to creating queer conscious connections for men ready
to find their mate. He and his team have a
unique approach to the dating world. Please welcome Daniel Cooley. Yay, Hello,

(02:04):
so bright and shiny. Also joining us today Kyle Thomas,
hailed as People Magazine's resident celebrity Astrologer. He's a globally
recognized pop culture astrologer who's been featured on Access Hollywood,
Good Morning America, The Tonight Show, E Entertainment, NBC and
ABC Television, Cosmopolitan Magazine, and so much more. His work
harnesses the power of the stars, and he is known
for his cosmic guidance regarding celebrities, entertainment, lifestyle, as well

(02:27):
as trends affecting people all over the world. With over
a decade of professional experience and clients all over the world,
he currently resides in LA where he works as a
professional astrologer, celebrity life coach, and author. Please welcome Kyle Thomas.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I mean, I know we're no People magazine, but we
do what we do. You know, all right, we're gonna
talk about it all. We're going to talk about relationships,
We're going to talk about dating, We're going to talk
about astrology. Because it's spring. The cold days of winter
are done, and you know, during winter we feel like
we need to nest and those cuddly romantic feelings. That's
all done though. Now we got to get ready for

(03:03):
sexy spring, sexy summer. So we're gonna talk about how
to do that while we're sipping wine. Daniel, you have
a very unique journey to match making. You weren't just
like you know, you weren't born in some Jewish village.
I'm like, I'm a match makeup no, like how because
you have so many credits and then matchmaking, how does
that happen?

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh gosh, it's so funny. It's just you know, it's
kind of a long story, but just like give you
snidbits of what it was about. Is I am a
community builder. I've always been a community builder. I love,
you know, connecting the queer community together. I feel like,
as amazing and as it is that we have each

(03:44):
other as a queer community, we treat each other kind
of horribly. So we need that, you know, we need community.
And I found that from a very long time ago
when my friend became h of you positive. He and
I created basically alternative to HIV support groups, and we

(04:04):
ended up starting a nonprofit. And I mean it was
he was the main person and I was the second person,
and I like we helped come up with the name together. Anyways,
within that nonprofit, we had like basically a club where
we went to. You know, we had movie nights and
game days and beach days and like lots of fun
activities to do. And through that group it grew from

(04:28):
like a few guys to a few hundred to thousand
when Prep came out, you know, it grew really really large.
And it was just where gay by career and transmen
and allies could hang out. If they were HIV positive.
They didn't feel a stigma, They didn't feel like anybody
was there judging them. But they would always come up

(04:51):
to us and say, hey, like, who do you know Daniel,
that's like single in the group. Because I was at
every single event, I helped arrange them, you know know,
and I'd be like, you know, I think I know.
They called me the vibe guy, the vibe matchmaker because
like or they actually called me the divine connector back then.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
She come on divine Connector, that's your grander profile, and
I'm here right, yeah, that's my connecting people.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yes exactly, I'm always good. But that's basically how I
got started, is you know, people were coming up and
asking me, like if I knew anybody that they vibe
with that they and there was marriages in long term
relationships after that, and that was like fourteen fifteen years ago.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
I might as well make a professional if I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
The work exactly. And then when I got into real estate,
same thing, gay men buying houses, being single, saying do
you know anybody I could share this house with? Like,
I have this career, I'm doing really well, but like
and then that's when I reached out to another matchmaker
and decided, like, hey, do you can you give me
some advice on how to get started? And he introduced

(05:56):
me to my business partner who's been matchmaking for like
six years, and you know, boom, off to the braces.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
And it's not just you two guys. You have a
whole team behind you. You have like a stylist, you
have you have an astrologer who well, who else is
on your team?

Speaker 1 (06:11):
So yeah, so we have a celebrity stylist.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
His name is Trosy, not trust.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
I love Drowsy God. Yeah. So we've got a tarot
card reader, Lou Flores. He's like also well known in
the community. And then we've got a gay photographer, Steven James.
He's Stephen on the scene and will yoh, you know,
like he does all the events and yeah, So we
just decided, like, why not create If we're gonna do

(06:41):
matchmaking for gay by queer and transmit only and that's
our focus, why not have a whole gay team, you know,
like so that everyone that you work with, including us
as the matchmakers, are gay by or queer, and like
we're you know, they can relate to us so they
don't feel awkward taking pictures or whatever.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Now, how did you meet Kyle? Uh?

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Kyle? Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Yeah, I remember.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
This story.

Speaker 4 (07:15):
We've met a tender a couple of years ago, and
we had matched, and we had briefly interacted, and we
didn't actually even meet up. And then I think a
couple of years even might have gone by, and then
I think we like rematched again. And one thing that
I as a gay man who is a romantic and

(07:37):
and and you know, aspiring for that that strong soulmate
connection or whatever that be. I do also approach dating
as being open to friendships because those kinds of connections,
no matter where they lead, as long as there's a
value to them, can still bring beauty to your life.
So that's why I had said to him. I was like, well,

(07:58):
let's go out first drinks. We could we could it
could be a date, or it could.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
Be we could be friends.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
And we hit it off, and I actually did his
reading for fun when we were.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
There, and that is what really got me into astrology
because he predicted something that literally happened that same year
and twice, yes twice. So he said, you're gonna fall
in love with two people at the same time, and
you're gonna have to choose, and it never happened in

(08:31):
my entire life, and that blew my mind. When that happened,
I was like, Oh my god, astrology is real.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
It is real.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
I always was like a spiritual guy, so I kind
of believed in it, but this was like, oh, my gosh, confirmation.
You know.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
No, there's a big difference between being an astrologer and
being a psychic and reading tarot. People just tend to
lump them all together. Yeah, talk about what you do,
how that differs from tarot reading or from being a psychic.

Speaker 4 (08:58):
Well, admittedly I do all three, but there are so
many different levels of being a psychic or being a reader.
And professionally in the media, I'm mostly well known as
an astrologer, and the reason I've really pushed to be
known in that regard is because that has been around

(09:21):
for thousands and thousands of years, and we can chart
patterns throughout civilization, and that by by you know, checking
the different patterns and understanding that these are behavior someone
may exhibit or this is what likely to likely is
going to happen when the stars move in this direction,
it's more tangible. And what I also say too, is

(09:42):
that astrology it is predictive, but it's productive in the
sense that you can use it to harness the cosmic
flow to get more of what you're looking for. So
going back to you know, looking at his chart when
we were first for meeting, I was like, well, this
is really likely what's going to happen. However, if you're
sitting at home swiping on Tinder and you're not meeting anybody,

(10:03):
you're playing video games and not actually connecting, well, then
those two love connections aren't going to happen. So again,
you know, when I'm working with any client wherever they
are in the world, no matter where they are in
the socioeconomic, you know, scheme of the world, I take
that same approach and so we really try to ground it,

(10:23):
we look at it, we map out the patterns and
then you use your free will to hopefully really engage
with that energy. Now when it comes to tarot, I've
been doing that for you know, less amount of time.
I so I've been studying astrology for about thirty years.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
And yes, how did you find out you had this gift?

Speaker 4 (10:44):
Well, I just like, I've been so interested in history
and civilization and humanity and ancient mythology and gods and
goddesses and all that. And so every time when I
would just because I would just spend my week at
the library, I would go and I would just like
devour Greek history and you know, ancient Egyptian mythology and everything,

(11:08):
and all of it would lead back to astrology. And
so I kept thinking, I'm like, all right, well there's
got to be something to this. And I was eight
years old, and so then it was.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
An eight year old kid running around the library.

Speaker 4 (11:22):
Yeah, I loved it. It was my favorite place. It
was my favorite place. And so my dad on the
weekends he would go for these like eight ten hour runs,
and I didn't want to go.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
On these eight to ten hour runs.

Speaker 4 (11:32):
So I'd be like, drop me off at the library
because it's safe, it's near home. And what am I
gonna do?

Speaker 3 (11:38):
I'm going to read.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
You know, it was great and I loved it. It
was so nourishing to my soul and my mind and
everything that I am. But you know, going back to
you know, understanding that there's these patterns. Not only do
I think that we can look at that and find
that fascinating, but there's so many different uses of astrology,
and we can you know, inherently, I think we as
human beings want to know more about who we are,

(12:01):
why we're here, or fate or destiny, our purpose. But
also it does boil down also to we want to
know about our relationships. And so again it comes down
to compatibility, whether that is you're looking at two best friends,
or you and someone in your family or a lover.
And so again it just kept it kept always bringing
me back and bringing me back, and I really love

(12:23):
that about it. Now I have I was born, I've
seen spirits since I was a child. But that's something
that I turned off for a really long time. And
because I was also like the weird spiritual kid, and
you know, I would like we would have like tense
sleepovers in the backyard and and I would like be
channeling somebody's grandpa or something, and then and then then
the parents would find out, and then my parents would

(12:45):
find out, and I'd get in trouble. So I was like, Kyle,
let's not do that anymore, you know. So I really
really kind of pushed away from that. But I've always
been spiritual. I've always been religious or not. I've always
been spiritually. I was really religious, and yeah, then I
then I started learning taro when I was eighteen. So
now half my life I've been doing terot. So again,
I just it's all in our form. It's all wonderful.

(13:07):
I'm so passionate and I'm so lucky that I get
to do what I do well.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
And spirituality is a big part of of what you do.
Like you said, how did you get kind of into
the spiritual world?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh my gosh, Well, not to delve it.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
We're gonna go deep girl, I'm gonna have another step
of wine. Yeh, at least have.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Because I was sober my entire twenties basically, and it
was AA that actually got me into my spiritual side.
And I have a very interesting past and relationship to
alcohol and drugs, and it was, you know, I've eventually
figured it out and I haven't had to be in

(13:49):
AA anymore, but it honestly changed my life. You know,
you would never think at twenty one years old, you're
just like, oh, you're just twenty one, Like you're out
of control. Of course you are. You're on Santa Monica
Boulevard as.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
A young gay man, Like that's what you're supposed to do.
You're supposed to have those blackout nights, you're supposed to
have those hook ups, you know.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah, but I just felt like I was, you know,
a mess, and my friend talked me into going to
a meeting. I remember, actually I had to tell you
this story because its kind of funny. What got me
into AA was my friend was like, hey, do you
want to go to a meeting with me? And I'm
like no, absolutely not, Like why the hell would I
go to a meeting? You know, like why would I

(14:29):
do that? And she's like, well, it's gay meeting and
I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
I have to say the hot gay guys in AA.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
I have to say that, yeah, like and I'm like
it is and she's like, yeah, well, you know, and
there's probably cute guys there. And this is before Grinder
like we didn't have Grinder back then, you know, Like
I was like, okay, I'll check it out, you know,
like and then that was it. It's like I just
like became addicted to the meetings and they told me

(14:58):
if I drink or you is that the only option
I had was jail's institution or death and being naive
at twenty one years old. I took that very seriously.
But I'm so glad I did it. I'm not mad,
you know, like I really learned so much, and it
brought me into meditation and the steps, which is the

(15:18):
steps work. They basically are what you know, bring you
closer to God or your higher power or whatever you
want to call it, the universe, you know, like, and
that's where I opened my mind up to that again
because I'd closed my heart off to religion. You know.
It was like raised Catholic, and you know, I was
like praying, please make me not gay, God, like, please

(15:41):
just take this away from me, you know. So like
that's what got me into spirituality, and it's part of
what I use in matchmaking now, you know, because I
feel like the divine or God guides me to help
make those decisions for people of like, yes, this person,
it may not align. Everything may not align on paper

(16:03):
with you guys, you know, according to personality or what
you think you want in a partner is not always
what is going to be the long term for you.
So those like intuitive senses of you know, asking, you know,
sometimes saying like I'll say a little prayer and be like,

(16:26):
divine guides please come in and you know, help guide
me to help this person find the right human being
to spend the rest of their life with, you know,
and I'll ask for that divine guidance, and it really
does help. It really does help. I'll be like, oh,
this is it. This is the guy. They go on
a date and that's it. You know, it's like first date.

(16:48):
Sometimes I get it right on because just that intuition,
you know, that was fresh.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Many of us gay men have interesting, really relationships with religion.
I was raised Catholic, and I was. When I say
I was in the church, I was in the church
like behind the scenes way until my adulthood. What kind
of relationship did you Because you said you were you were.

Speaker 4 (17:10):
Raised I was raised Catholic too. Oh look, yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
We're to start a club.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
I mean I was, I was and and I've really
gotten into, you know, really reflecting on the idea of
past lives in the last certainly a couple of years,
and I've actually been studying like karmic past life astrology
and stuff. So it's just like I go down the
rabbit hole and it's crazy. And in my chart it
consistently shows that I was a spiritual leader and many

(17:36):
past lives. Now, again, how do you prove that, I
guess you can't empirically, But again, it just really fits
with a lot of patterns that I've been And you know,
I remember being you know, really young and being like, oh,
I'm going to be a priest someday, Like I used
to be a priest, like sort of like knowing these things,

(17:56):
or I was the tribal leader or you know, or
I was those kinds of I was the Egyptian priests
or you know whatever, all those kinds of things, because
I've always been so drawn to it. But then I
remember I had this sort of revelation before puberty where
I also was like, but I'm going to be I'm
going to get married someday, and I know that I'm

(18:18):
going to be with someone, so I can't be climate
I can't be, you know, alone, and and I remember
consciously coming up with that that that sort of that
that that thought and vision, and you know, I think
that still has you know, motivated me throughout my life.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Now.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
I don't identify as Catholic any longer, but I do
think that there's so many beautiful nuances to the kinds
of spirituality you can experience, and I do think that
they're all sort of visions of God. And I also
think that each person is a vision of God, like different.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Thank God, or just like an energy.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
I think that's the same thing. I think that's actually
the same thing. And so I mean, again, some people
may want to think that it's a big white dude
that's standing on a mountain. Sure, if that's what you're
going to believe, and that's what's going to really motivate
you to live the best life, hopefully in the betterment
of humanity in the world around you, I'm not going
to tell you that's're wrong. But then there's also a
lot to be said that the universe is God, or

(19:25):
we are God, our divine will is God. So I mean,
I could talk about this for a thousand hours, and
I do with my friends, and I hope that the
future man that I'm with wants to sit down and
talk about those kinds of things with me too. And again,
it's just I think that it's just if it's serving
a purpose in your life that's going to be healthy, productive,

(19:48):
and really empower you in the world around you, then
I think that it's a can be a good fit.
But then I also don't think that spirituality necessarily has
to be something that someone has to have.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
So this is my question in the dating world. You
two are very spiritual. You and I have talked. You know,
I'd laugh a lot, like if somebody wants to meditate,
I'm like, oh god, I'll wait in the corner. Is
it possible to date somebody that is not on your
spiritual level? Can a relationship work?

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah? Absolutely? Yeah, I would say, you know, it's a
matter of them being having an open mind and being
able to communicate, you know, And if somebody is maybe
not spiritual like me, but they I mean I literally
my last boyfriend, he wasn't spiritual, but he he like,

(20:40):
he just had an open mind and he understood that
like what I was doing was helping me, and so
he wanted to support me with anything that helped me,
and so that was great, and I wanted to support
him with anything that helped him. And I tried to
push him into it, you know, many many times, because
I'm like, come on, do it, do this with me,
do this, and he would sometimes like do little meditations

(21:02):
and stuff with me sometimes. But I would say, if
someone is completely against it, it's gonna be hard to date,
you know what I mean, Like if they're like that's evil,
like you know, or like one of my religious brothers,
like if he's like like my religious brother that you know,
I love my my brother but all my brothers, I
love them very much. In case they hear this, of doubt,

(21:26):
he's gonna watch it. But anyways, he you know, hell,
he thinks Taro is evil and bad, and you know,
it's part of the devil.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
And it's the big misconceptions out there is that it's
anti you know, Christianity or you know, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
But I don't think I could date somebody that was
on that level, you know what I mean. It depends
on the level that they're at. If they're open minded
to things, great, If they're like, absolutely not, this is evil,
don't meditate because you're going to hell. Then you know
that's another level where you just you're never gonna be
able to make it work.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, and I agree with that, but I also can
apply that to astrology. And I think one of the
things that I hear a lot of people say is that,
like I do or do not believe in astrology, I'm
going to clear the air right now. You don't have
to believe in it because it's not a belief system.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
It's not.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
It is an art form and it can be used
as a tool. So that's why, again, you know, people
when they ask me, do I believe in astrology, I'm like,
I am astrology. We are astrology. Astrology is energy, it's
it's art, it's it's life. And so that's why it's
I think it's really funny because there have been a

(22:34):
lot of guys that I have either like gone on
dates with or or gotten to know or dated more
significantly that didn't believe in astrology. But let's just put
it this way, when they're done dating me or I'm
done dating them, I.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Like how you change. I was like, I'm done with you, girl.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
They always do because it's one of those things where
they see it in action. And I talk about this
like on every show or every podcast. I mean, for
the pretty much for the last like fifteen years, I
predicted either by the exact day or the exact period
in time when I was going to meet someone, fall
in love as well as break up with them by

(23:15):
the day.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
And that's that's too much information for me, Like I
want to be surprised my life like that. That would
that would freak me out.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
No, But here's the thing is, again, we always have
free will. So for instance, let's say, so there was
a guy that I was dating in twenty twenty three,
I think it was.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
What name, phone number, Let's get him on the line.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
I hope, I always. I hope he's great.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
I honestly haven't talked to him in on aly long time,
and we had a fun time when we were together.
But beyond that, I mean, I predicted by the exact
day I was going to meet him. I predicted when
we started to really have a very fast development of
feelings because I could see the movements in the trasm
transits of the planets and then I looked and I
was like, Oh, there's something that's really really dark, that's

(23:56):
going to happen on this full moon that happens on
April of this year, because the planets weren't aligned, and
in my chart and his, it showed either we were
going to combine closer or we're going to break apart.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Well he was, you know up until then.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you. And then like twelve hours later he had
a mental breakdown seriously.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
And we broke up.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
So that was that.

Speaker 4 (24:21):
And again, I mean I knew that going into it.
Prior to that, and then a couple a couple of
years before that, even I had been in a long
term relationship with a Capricorn and he also was a
great guy too, but there were certain things that we
didn't match with. But I looked at the chart and
I knew that if I didn't leave him on roughly

(24:42):
around August eighth of that year, we were going to
get engaged and married over the next couple of years.
And I didn't want to marry him, so I left him.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Wow, that's a lot of info, girl.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
Yeah, seriously, though, I mean it's like this stuff it
always happens, like I can always see it, and it's
we bye by be having that awareness of being like, Okay,
let's engage with it, hopefully in a positive means. I mean,
that's why I'm not sabotaging things or you know, doing
things that I like. If the door is closed to
me romantically like it was most of this year, I'm

(25:13):
not gonna go out waste my time to date. I'll
focus on other things. But that door is real open
right now, guys, knock knock.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Isn't mine open right now? Kyle? You know my job?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah, yeah, it's kind of well, so this is yet.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, there's an open door, and there's a revolving door. No.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
So one of the things that speaking speaking of speaking
of certain particular alignments between people, I find that people
that are either like very close or good friends even business,
but also people that fall in love, you know, with
each other, they're all having certain similar cycles at the
same time. So that's why, like with us being such
close friends and then obviously working together and doing things,

(25:52):
we go through certain cycles at similar times. So it's cool.
It's just it's and it's again one of those things
where I just like, I love it, Puppy and I
have the same big it's great. So anyways, that's that,
all right.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well let's talk about your creative process to what you do.
So Daniel, let's say, you know what, I haven't had
any luck dating on my own. I come to you.
What's the process? Do I fill out a form like, yeah,
how do you start? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Absolutely? So typically what's gonna happen is we're going to
figure out, you know, where are you at with your
dating world? Because I got to see if we're going
to be a fit to working together or if matchmaking
is really a fit for them, you know what I mean,
Because some guys come to us at different phases in
their life. You know. Some guys are just getting out

(26:39):
of divorce, some guys just get out of a relationship.
Some are just not haven't done any of the internal work.
So we got to kind of assess that I'm like
sort of like the therapist for a moment and figure out,
you know, what have you been doing? You know, to
how how are you meaning people now? What have you
been what have you done in the past, and what
are you looking for? Ultimately, just to see if I

(27:00):
can support you, you know, because like I don't know,
you know, like what if they're looking for, you know,
Brad Pitt and you know, like it's like and you know,
they want some idea of some straight man because they
have all this trauma that they haven't gotten over, and
they don't understand that like what they really want is

(27:21):
just the comfort and love of somebody being there, you
know what I mean. And so that's part of what
we do first is assess.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
And I would assume people come with crazy expectations like
you said, you know, I'm maybe a like a number
three and then I want to date like a ten,
you know, or I want to find a rich guy
or something. These are not normal expectations. You're not like
a magician.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Oh yeah, and I mean I have guys that I
mean it's literally like I'm sixty five, I would love
to have you know, somebody that's between twenty five and
thirty five's insane and it's financial stable, secure. They look
like a model, like they just came off of you know,

(28:05):
the runway, and you got to find.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
It for me.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
And I'm like, okay, I'm your fairy godmother. Your wish
is my command. You know. It's like, no, that's not
how it works, but literally that happens all the time.
And it's just like okay, Well, why do you want
to date somebody that's twenty five to thirty five? What
is your reasoning for that? And be very specific, like
what does that mean to you to date somebody that

(28:28):
age range? I have no judgment, it's okay, Like, I
don't care if you like somebody that's thirty or forty
or fifty years younger than yourself. But why why do
you want that? And if it's because you want to
show off to your friends that you have a trophy,
a prize that's not really a long term relationship that's
not going to end well for you, is that okay

(28:50):
with you? Are you okay with having something that may
just last a little while and may not be long term,
or are you looking for something really specific that can
last a long time. And those are questions that we asked,
but part of the process just to like answer the question,
which is, you know, first we actually one of the
first things we do is we meet our clients over

(29:12):
dinner because you know, most matchmakers they meet over zoom
or they meet over the phone, which is great, you know,
you can get to know somebody really well that way,
but we've just found that it's so much more personable, and.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
People act differently on the phone and on zoom.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Oh totally. Oh my gosh. We had this client in
nor Cal and he's this very well to do tech guy,
you know, very business y over zoom, very like straightforward,
you know, nice friendly, But we meet him in person.
We go out to dinner and he is just amazing,

(29:54):
Like he's so funny, he's hilarious, he's super intelligent. He's
making us laugh the entire time, and he's just so
warm and loving, and it just it opened up so
many doors for us about possibilities of who he could date,
you know what I mean. Like, so we just find
that when we meet people in person, we really get
to know deeper about who they are. And for me,

(30:18):
it's like I gotta know their vibe, like and how
are they going to be on a date. If they're
with us, we're kind of seeing what they're going to
be like on a date, so we can kind of
give them advice pre date so they understand like hey,
maybe you should you know, not pick your nose on
the date, or hey maybe like.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
I mean, have you had to like give like direction like.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
That, yeah, like don't talk about your exes the entire time,
or don't talk about how your mom died, you know,
a year ago, Like I know it's sad and like
and and it's sad for us to hear, like I
am compassionate about that, but like it's not a first
date conversation, and so that was fresh.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
This is a hot topic. What is definitely off the
table because like, let's say, like my mom died last year,
So I bring it up because I'm in a certain
frame of mind and I want to bring that up
right up front on first date. What should you bring
up and what should you not? Such as do you
bring up I'm a transman on the first date? Do
you bring up I only have one ball on the ft, Like,

(31:18):
I mean, like, what do you bring up to get
out of the way so that you can move on?

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Typically? You know what's really cool about working with a
matchmaker is we're going to do that for you. Okay,
So if if somebody has some sort of more I
would say extreme you know, circumstance, we're going to let
their date know, Hey, look this guy just went through
a breakup a year ago, you know, like he's really

(31:46):
worked on himself. He is ready to date again. But
just want to let you know ahead of time, or hey,
he just they just you know, they lost. As long
as the other person consents and says, yes, you can
tell my date this, we're allowed to let them know
first ahead of time, like, hey, just to let you
know he lost his mom a year ago, so that's

(32:07):
just something that happened, you know, just want to let
you know ahead of time so you can have compassion
in case it does come up in the future. I
don't think it will come up on the first date,
but just want to, you know. So we kind of
prep them so when it does happen, they're not like,
oh my god, that's so sad. Yeah, you know, like
it doesn't turn the entire date into you know, oh wow,

(32:28):
like poor you. It's more, you know, they can focus
on other topics. So that's why it's what's really cool
about working One of the cool things about working with
the matchmakers, you kind of like get pre vetted first,
you know, so you get like get to get all
those little things out of the way that you're worried
about that can make you nervous on a first date.
You're like, oh god, I already told my matchmaker, and

(32:51):
they relaid the information, so I don't have to talk
about it. I don't have to let them know that
I can't. You know, I have a rectile dysfunction. I
mean it does.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
That's such a like is that something you have to
bring up? I mean, at what point in the dating
do you bring that up? I mean that's a big issue,
but it's also that very intimate issue.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
I mean that's something that the matchmaker is either allowed
to or not allowed to say to their dates because
it's like, do you do you want to be the
bearer of this news the second, third, fourth, or whatever
date you decide you're most comfortable with saying this, or
are you gonna or would you like us just to

(33:28):
say it up front? And if they say no, then
you know you've eliminated that, you know, confusion right away
or like, you know, they don't have to go through
the process of really liking them and really like wanting
to date them and then telling them that and then
that's a deal breaker for them, you know.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Okay, So I have a question. I hung out with
my friend yesterday and he's dating. In fact, he's gonna
sign up with you, he's going to meet you. He's
on vacation next week, but we gets back, he wants
to meet with you. He went on a date, and
he doesn't date regularly. He met this really nice guy,
and the guy in the course of their first date
was like, okay, on a scale of one to ten,
how kinky are you? What are your kinks? And he
was like what on the first date? But if you

(34:10):
are super kinky? You know, sex is a big part
of a relationship. Is that something you bring up on
a first date, like you're extreme kinks?

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Oh gosh, I.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Don't know how I felt about. I'm like, well, heasi
got it out of the way. And if you know,
if you're not compatible that way, you're just not compatible. Yeah,
I mean it's kind of a weird subject. Yeah, for
a first date.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
You know, I do think it's a weird subject. I
think if it's like such a high priority in your life,
like sex is like number one ultimate, Like if the
sex is not, you know, at one hundred percent, then
there's no way I could ever date, which I don't
believe in that. I think, like you really build a

(34:51):
romantic connection with somebody, you build that you know, you
relate to them, you build that soul connection and that's
the sex becomes better that way. That's what I believe.
I don't think that having sex after a first date
is necessary to test it out, you know, test drive
gay in they all believe like we got a test drive,
make sure it's good.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
It's like I know people that have sex and then
they date.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Yeah, I mean that happens. There's nothing wrong with that
at all, Like no judgment. If you want to have
sex on the first date, go for it.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
I used to have a five date roll five dates. Yeah,
this was well, so.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
On the fourth date, they're just like scraping the table.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
So I had dated a guy for four years and
he had cheated on me consistently throughout the entire time.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
So I was like really traumatized.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
See that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (35:40):
And so I basically, I mean I went on pretty
much like three hundred dates in like a year and
a half. It was like I was like I was insane, man.
It was every day is a date, I mean three
times a day. It was like I would have like
it was but it was great. I lived in Chicago
and I was like right really central. It was like
I'd have coffee, then I have lunch, then I'd have dinner.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
I mean, then I have drinks.

Speaker 4 (35:59):
Like seriously, And it was one of the coolest things actually,
because I learned so much about gay men and people,
and I also have networked with the vast majority of them,
so I'm still friends with them on like Facebook and stuff.
So it's really it's actually it was. It worked out
really well, but because I really care a deep amount
about my level of intimacy and sensuality and connection to someone.

(36:22):
You know, passionate sex is wonderful, and yes it can
be without love, certainly, but if I have a connection
with someone, I'm gonna certainly have more enjoyment.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
And so I.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Did have many times where it was like guys would
get to the fifth date and then I wouldn't put
out and they'd be like, I'm done, you know, they'd
be so upset, and I don't have that anymore. But
I actually told of them everybody that on the first date,
because I was like, if I if you're trying to
just get in bed with me, which isn't a bad thing,

(36:55):
but at that point in time in my life, I
was not looking for that. So if that's what they
were looking for, move on, And that's fine. No hard
feelings and yeah, and I mean but it was cool
because sometimes I met people and they were like, Okay,
well that is important right away. But you're cool, let's
be friends, you know. So again that's that's really what

(37:15):
has backed up my experience, extensive experience and dating around
around trying just to ultimately find a human connection.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Lord. Okay, so you do the interview process, then you
set them up with the match, they go on a date.
Are you on the date with them or do they
report to you after like do you fill out like
a like a like a survey after.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
So I don't typically go on the date with them
unless they're.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
Ca've done that before.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yes, so we doe to.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Me, we do.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
By the way, this is my match, Baker.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
He's just gonna be quiet the whole time.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
That's my.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
God.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
If somebody did that to me, I would be like, bro,
it's a.

Speaker 4 (37:58):
No, okay, well it is.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
It's called a mock date for a reason. They date
the other person that they're going on the date with.
They know that they're gonna do you know that I'm
gonna be there, I'm gonna be listening, you know, kind
of like you know, like Patti stanger outside of the
out of the side of.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
The by the way. Yeah, like you better not say
that I'm gonna kick here, but like you're.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Gonna not be my client anymore, you know, like I
love her but anyways, uh yeah, so I do. Yeah,
we'll sit next to them. This is usually with our
clients that need more coaching, you know, before they really start,
you know, dating again. Say they just got out of
a relationship, they just came out of the closet. Maybe
they don't even know that they're completely gay yet. You know.

(38:45):
It's like, so those are the kind of clients that
we kind of want to ease them into the process
where we do, like maybe we'll do like a few
weeks or a couple months or two or three months
of coaching first, and then they'll go on their first
mock date.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Well, and what I want to tell our audience is that, yeah,
you're not just like a wham bam, here's five guys
go on a date and then you're done. You create
like a like a year long or however long it takes.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Oh yeah, process. Yeah, it's it's typically six months, six
to twelve months where we're introducing them to guys a.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Long time to invest of your team and somebody.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah, it is, it's a lot, you know. So we
I mean and potentially you know, and we were vetting
and recruiting and marketing and for every single person, and
so each match that somebody gets, we're potentially going through,
you know, fifteen to twenty guys that don't even meet
the cut to meet them. So it's like it's an

(39:42):
extensive process, you know, where you're really the truth of
it is is I can't promise someone that they're going
to have a romantic connection with somebody else. That is
up to them. You know. I can give them all
the advice in the world. I can, you know, give
them the pre date advice and really help them and

(40:02):
get them prepped, but it's up to them once they're
on the date, you know. So, but I can promise
that I'm going to introduce them to quality guys, you know,
quality guys where that are you know, looking for a
real relationship, whether that's monogamous, open, non monogamous, ethically, non monogamous,

(40:22):
you know, whatever type they're seeking. As long as they're
on the same page and looking for that longer term relationship,
then those are the kind of guys I introduce them to,
and guys that I always say like, because people are
always like, I'm just so tired of eating these guys
that like don't have their finances together, don't have their
life together, and I have to pay for their dinner,

(40:44):
and I have to pay for their trips, and you know,
it's like, okay, well then you maybe want to move
up your age range, you know, ten or twenty years?
Is that date somebody happier economy?

Speaker 2 (40:54):
It's a show.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Yes, yeah, exactly, this economy is also very hard with that.
But but yeah, it basically, you know, I help them.
I just introduce them to quality guys that you know,
match with what they're looking for according to morals, values, interests, religion,

(41:15):
you know, whether they want to get you know, have
kids or have the white pick of fence and a
house together or whatnot. But quality guys that I quote
unquote say have their shit together. You know.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
Now, Kyle, what is your process? So somebody comes to you,
you obviously start with their birth date, I'm assuming what's
the whole process?

Speaker 4 (41:36):
Well, it really depends on what the client is looking
to do. And I mean obviously, if I'm working with
a television production, or if I'm working with media publication,
I'm going to be working with the sun sign for
those kinds of interpretations so people can see, you know,
oh my birthday is this, I'm going to read this horoscope.

(41:58):
And that's one of the functions of astrology. Now, if
I'm working with a one on one relationship with an individual, again,
no matter where they are in the world, I work
with people from super heights to people that are I
would say, you know, a little bit more average, because
at the end of the day, I want to help
people and I really want to get them inspired and
excited about how they can use their astrology for a

(42:21):
productive way. And it's all about, you know, actualizing your chart,
and what we first and foremost need is the most
accurate details for the birth information, so your birth time,
your birth date, your birthplace. So the more specific we
are on those, the more specific I can be when

(42:42):
I'm looking at the degrees of your chart and the
houses that are being composed and where the planets are natally.
Now again we can look at a chart and understand
that there are going to be certain factors that are
going to be present throughout an individual's entire lifetime. And
so we can see that that can be about personality
traits or areas of karma that they need to work through,

(43:04):
or the kinds of people that they may be attracted to,
or talents, etc. All of these kinds of things. And
usually I feel like, if it's a first session with someone,
we will talk about those details and I'll be like, well,
this is your rising sign, and this is how you're
going to read your charts, and this is your sun
sign and your moon sign, and the big three I
do think are one of the easiest ways to know

(43:26):
the most of what's going on without doing like an
in depth reading with an astrologer. So your sun sign,
which is your core personality, tied to your data birth,
your rising sign, it's how people perceive you. It's also
extremely important in the composition of your chart and partnership
and all of these kinds of things. And your moon
sign also is very tied to intimate relationships, but it's

(43:48):
also very tied to the soul. So we can look
at these different aspects. And I actually went to school
for psychology and majored in that, so I kind of
take a very psychological approach to that particular part of
the session, So we'll break that down and then I
think that there's a lot of exciting energy for people that,
especially if you're getting their first astrology reading with me,

(44:10):
they want to know like predictions for the year ahead,
and they want to understand like what are you know
when's a good time for love or you know, am
I going to find love now?

Speaker 3 (44:19):
Again?

Speaker 4 (44:19):
When it comes to astrology, there are certain techniques that
you can use, like horory and progressions and other you know,
advanced techniques that I do have experience with, but I
don't particularly love to use all the time that can
give you very specific times. But the thing that I
love to focus on that I think is the most
accurate and most usable are transits. So the planets are

(44:42):
always moving through the heavens. So if there's a planet
in an area of your chart, well then not only
is there energy to be taken, but there's something that's
likely to happen. So that's why for instance, using my
example of like I'm in a good place for love, well, Mars,
which is the planet of sex and passionate desire, is
in my a fifth house of romance right now, So
this is when I should be dating. I should be

(45:05):
meeting people, and so I have been you know, so
it's that kind of thing. But if the door is
shut and the energy is not there, I'm gonna be
focused on other things. That was fresh. Another thing that
I think is really cool about it for people is
that we are all inherently gifted with levels of intuition.
So I think what I love to do at the

(45:26):
beginning of a session is I sit down with somebody
and I'm like, where do you think you are in
your life? Like what do you think is evolving? What
are the key factors that are taking place right now?
And more often than not, even if people can't put
the exact finger on what is going on, they tend
to feel like, oh, I can feel that love's coming,
or Ooh, I'm really unhappy in my relationships and i

(45:48):
feel like there's a change, or I'm really unhappy in
my career. But I feel like I need to evolve.
Well that's because a planet's triggering it. So that's what's happening.
And so again I don't want to, you know, I
don't have to get into all the nitty gret nitty
gritty details and be like, well, Saturn is squaring your
son right now, and your mars is you know, opposite

(46:09):
your neptune. You don't really need to know well, you know,
you don't need to know all of those details. But
what I try to do is do explain it in
a way that is again proactive, productive and helpful to
guide them. So so I usually give people dates, time windows,

(46:29):
and that usually is like a first introductory, introductory reading
or the reading that they do once a year. But
then I also have clients that I consult with and
like like let's say I'm working with a pop star, Like,
I'll work with their manager, I'll work with their agents,
I'll work with maybe a photographer that's going to photograph them,
and we actually time like let's say they're like, well,
I'm releasing an album this year, and I'm like, okay, cool,

(46:51):
Well what is your timeline that you would like to
be doing these kinds of things? And then let's time
certain things that can be happening like that. So that's
why the same thing is it's like we consult on
you know, regardless of someone's a celebrity, this is a
good day for let's say you're in a relationship to
propose this is a great day if you're in business
to sign a contract, this is a great day if
you are launching an empire, to you know, blast out

(47:16):
your your advertising, like all of those kinds of things
just to you know, just to and that sort of
you know. Vision of it though, is that I love
astrology because astrology is life and so by that definition,
it applies to everything that we go through and any
consequence or situation will be in Damn it's real.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
I mean, it is no joke. I The first thing
he told me about this year, because he does my
yearly reading, is that I was gonna get, you know,
run into abundance this month financially, and it's literally the
door like opened up, like within the first week. And
it's like, yeah, astrology is so real.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
But it's not.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
It's not magic, and it's not entirely manifestation because I
do teach manifestation and there's many different ways that you
can work with it. But in that regard is if
the energy is not already open to you, or the
the it's not ripe for you. It's like planning a
garden in winter, it's gonna die, it's not gonna grow.
But if you do things at the right times, you're

(48:23):
gonna get the certain you're gonna get certain results. So
and again, everything in life is a is a cycle.
There's ups and downs, there's ebbs and flows through every
single area of our lives. So when he was like, Kyle, who,
I've had a dry month. I really really really need
something to go through.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Just like soon.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
Even though, like you know, he's successful, he's got a
lot of things that are that are great in his life.
But he was like, I just need to know when
this next windfall is gonna come. And then we look
at the chart and we look at it and it's
not the psychic energy that I'm going through. It's like,
all right, let's compare this, and it's like this is
what I will.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
All right, let's talk about some dating hot topics. What
are some red flags? And for both of you, what
are some red flags you just should never ignore when
you're starting to date somebody.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
When you're starting to date somebody or for a first date,
uh both? Okay, Yeah, I think I think one thing
that you really need to look out for if you're
dating on your own or off the apps or you know,
wherever you're doing. If you're not working with me in particular,
because I'd vet this out right away, is whether somebody

(49:35):
is actually looking for a relationship, get on the same
page right away, because a lot of people what they
do is especially game in they're very passive aggressive in LA.
So watch out for this one because this one happens
all the time. I know because it happened to me
all the time, and I was just like, yeah, you're
all still going to date, like no problem, but it was.

(49:56):
It's people will say I don't know what I'm looking for,
but if something great came along, I would be open
to dating or something more serious. No, immediately, red flag,
do not cross, and press go.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
I was gonna say pretty much the same thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
Because if you are actually looking for a real relationship
and you're not looking just to date and have fun
and like play around, then that person is not your person.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
It's and I think what it comes down to is
trust people when they tell you who they are the
first time. And there have been many times where I
would have like great chemistry or a lot of fun
or like a connection with someone and I'd be like, oh,
you know, like I'm looking for these things. But I
guess I could be open to because I do. I
do think that, like I don't want to run into

(50:49):
something and be like I need this and this has
to be this and I expect monogamy right away and
blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
No I'm not.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
I'm not like that.

Speaker 4 (50:56):
But you know, there had been periods in time when
I had meet someone and I'd be like, you know,
we'd be doing these dalliants of back and forth and
like they're never going to commit to me because they
don't want to commit. And even it's like, I mean,
there was this guy that I had been doing this
like six month thing within like twenty twenty three, and
I honestly haven't really much dated since then because I've

(51:19):
just been like, I'm so sick of these idiots. But
it's not because i'm it's not because I think I'm
better than people. It's not because I, you know, have
too high of expectations. But I'm sick of being burnt.
So that's why I focus on building friendships instead, because
I think that that is a connection regardless that can

(51:41):
grow and then there's no pressure. But going back to
what I was saying about this guy is it's like
he had said from the beginning, he was like, no,
I you know, I haven't dated someone. I haven't gone
on a date in ten years. And I was like, oh,
this is okay. Ten years, I know, right, And I
was like and I was like, well, maybe maybe, you know,
because we have really good chemistry and we a lot
and we like similar things, maybe maybe we'll have a vibe.

(52:04):
And we did this on and off for six months,
and he even his friends would take me aside and
they be.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Like, Kyle, don't Dadamn, he's terrible.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
And I was like his friends that I don't even know,
and I was like and.

Speaker 4 (52:17):
I was like no, no, no, no, But like again,
it's like it's it's you know.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
For me.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
For the last few years, I focused on all right,
I want more success, I want more happiness, I want
more pleasure. I want more love in my life in abundance,
and it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic love. I
would love to add that into my level of happiness,
but I don't. I don't. I'm not unhappy that I
don't have someone. I have a wonderful family, I have

(52:44):
a wonderful friend group. I have so much to be
thranked thankful for.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
So again, I just drop those awful.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Oh wait I got another one?

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Yes, Oh man, I could. I could spin on this
for like five hours.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
I'm I mean there's a lot.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
I always red flags. I mean, you know, you know
when you know, yeah, but some of us still won't
let us know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
I mean, if a guy's hot, that's you know, it's
always such a they're like and they're charming, you know, like,
but there's very very good, amazing charming narcissists. So you
got to know the signs of a narcissist. One first
sign is they don't let you get much of a
word in on the date. They're talking ninety percent of

(53:31):
the time. They're not curious about you. They just want
to talk about themselves.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
And that happens in La a lot. I don't I
don't know if it's just proportion, but it just seems
in LA that that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
It's like, oh god, yeah, watch out, because that's your
first sign. And you know right away, like, Okay, this
person is not interested in me. They're interested in themselves,
you know. So it's like that's what this relationship will be.
And just know that it's most likely not going to change. Maybe,
I mean, it can be Sometimes they'll be like, oh,
you know, I'm so sorry. I'm talking like, please let

(54:01):
me know more about you. I'm just nervous. You know,
that can happen too, so you can, you know, you
can give them a break in regards to that, but like, yeah,
when that happens, you know right away, you know. Or
yeah if they bring up that, you know, their their
exes they have mommy issues or dead or their exes constantly. Yes,

(54:24):
oh now they're talking about how bad their exes were
or how bad their friends are. Believe them.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
But on the first day, I want to know why
somebody's relationships didn't work for them because I want to know,
like what the situation was, So I will ask people
about their last few relationships.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
But that's that's fair.

Speaker 4 (54:43):
But I think if someone is coming into a situation
and I'm sure I have done this in the past
when I was still getting over someone, where I was
essentially looking to either find validation from the from the
person who left me or from the relationship that didn't
wan out, or trying to psychoanalyze you know. It's just

(55:04):
I think if people are really really obsessed with their
exes and what's going on and all these other things
they can't open to you. So but but I think
that's fair and that's an intelligent thing to do to
ask people about their past relationships because if there are cycles,
you want to you want to be aware of them.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
All right, open relationships is Is it possible to have
a fulfilling, loving, long term relationship if you have an
open relationship?

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Yeah? I think so. And and it's all based off
of trust, right. I think that you have to build
that trust first. I think if you the relationships I
see that don't really work out, especially like I don't
know the heterosexual dating world very well. I know the

(55:55):
gay buy and queer you know men worlds, and the
ones that I see that are open that don't quite
work right away are people that are you know, you
know one of them is a sex addict or both
of them are sex addicts, and they're just like they're
basically holding a friendship with each other, but they're just

(56:17):
having sex with everybody else and not focused on each other.
And that is those are the ones I think that
don't work. It's that's like half of la.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Yeah, well, I think there's a lot of sex ADDICTSPT
don't even know that they're sex when you're on grinder
every single like free minute or you know, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 (56:34):
Yeah, yeah, And that's it's an issue. It is a
big issue. I do think that, Like, you can have
an open relationship and have sex with other people, but
make the main person your partner. You know, like you've
gotten a relationship with them for a reason, right, because
you really want to spend that quality time with them.
So why do you Why would you only like, why

(56:55):
would you ninety percent of the time have sex with
only other people?

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Seeh I'm just sitting here, I'm just whine to talk
about this.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
But because if that relationship is for you and it's
so fulfilling, why would you need to go outside? And also,
even if you have a hookup in the alleyway, you're
still giving your energy and emotion to somebody, even if
you don't even see their face or whatever. You're still
giving part of yourself away, and that's not going into
the main relationships.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
See that's why I don't hunt up.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
Yeah I have, no I have, Oh of course I have,
and I try not to unless it is like I
think this is a vibe. But I also don't judge
people that do. But anytime it's worked out that way
for me, I always just feel depleted. Yeah, and and
and it's it's just something that I find to not

(57:45):
be my expression of intimacy. Like I love sex, and
I love great sex, and I love passion and connection
and all of that. But I don't know, it's just
it's yeah, I don't know, But I think that the
interesting thing about open relationship. I agree with everything that
you're saying with that, but I also think that there

(58:06):
are nuances to certain relationships that we may not necessarily understand,
so we can't generalize to everybody. And I but the
ones that I have found to be the most successful
that are in my friend groups, in long term friendships,
and some of them are actually heterosexual relationships, is that
they started off monogamous and then they eventually had some dalliances,

(58:30):
open discussions, either played together, did any of those kinds
of things. But the interesting thing is they usually end
up closing it again. That I have found and through
I mean I could. I mean, I have like a
lot of friends that have done that, and then if
they want to open again, they can, you know. But
it's I don't know, I think going into something being

(58:52):
entirely open if you're ready for it, and that's what
you're that's the limit of emotion that you're willing to exchange.
Maybe that is perfect for them, but it's not perfect
for me.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Yeah. I would just close it with saying, like you know,
open relationships, it's have you done the emotional work? Are
you having sex with a bunch of other people? Because
you have trauma within yourself and you have never learned
how to love yourself and you are looking for that

(59:25):
validation and the only thing that validates you is having
sex with a lot of hot people all the time.
And then you get in this relationship and you're putting
that on the other person and as well, like trying,
there's gonna be there's probably not going to be any
trust there because how can you trust somebody that doesn't
love themselves? It just doesn't work. And so it depends.

(59:47):
I think when you're going into something with somebody else
where you're like, Okay, we're going to do this open relationship.
Let's have this agreement. Like what is the agreement? Like
really write it out like it is, like have a discussion,
like okay, or a relationship is open, But what are
your boundaries. What are the limits?

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
And I think that's a lot of couples don't like. Literally,
here's the rules for having an open relationship. Some couples
want to know when there are other one has fooled around.
Some of them don't want to know. Some of them are,
you know, because maybe they've fallen out of attraction with
their partner, but they emotionally love them but not physically interested.
I mean, there's all these different there's all these different
you know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
That's what I was saying.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
It's it's the nuances of it, you know, And I
think that that's just what it comes down to.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
It was fresh, all right. In wrapping up, we are
in a very interesting time politically socially. How how do
we find love in this era? What? What do you see?
What's up ahead? Like what trends or you know, what's
what's going to happen to us queer single men?

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Wow? You know I think right now is you know,
as a commune builder, you know, I do singles mixers
and we call them the gay the gay mixer, Gay
singles mixer. That's basically if you ever want to look
it up on a vet bright or whatever. We have
them at beautiful homes usually.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Open bar by the way, hot bartenders.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Open bar, hot bartender. Yeah, and we got tarot and
astrology and like all of that are events too, so
people can get a little reading.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
It was such a wide variety of men too. Yeah.
Sometimes you go to these mixers and you're like, oh lord, yeah,
but there was a wide variety.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Yeah, we get you know, everything from you know, guys
that are twenty one to guys that are sixty five seventy.
You know. So we've got the full range of people,
and everybody's really kind and we really guide each everyone
to be friendly. Talk to somebody that you wouldn't normally
talk to, you know, really you know, smile, hug, like,

(01:01:53):
you know, whatever it is to create that connection for people,
because it's like the only thing that gay buy and
queermen know is being rejected. And now you know, in
this time where it's like politics, we don't know, like
where are rights going? Like I fought on no on
prop E, like for marriage equality, Like I was one

(01:02:16):
of the like head coaches, Like I was so passionate
about it, and it's like, imagine if that goes away,
Imagine if some of our rights go together. How can
we create solidity within you know, our community if we're
mistreating each other, if we're giving each other dirty looks
at the gym just because you know one is not

(01:02:39):
as hot as the other one. It's like, come on, people,
That's what confused.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Me about the gym. Why do you think they're at
the gym. I mean it's to work out and get healthier,
Like you have to go to the gym. Before you
go to the gym, I mean, give me a break.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Yeah, my exactly. It's like I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
You see a fat person on the trip note, you
clap for them. Fuck you showed up.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
And we gotta be kind to one another, you know,
especially at gay gems, where it's like it's obviously most
of the guys in there are gay, even if they're
wearing long shorts. We know, bro, that you're not actually
straight or like like just because you're trying to act cool,
you're trying to act like a bro, like a bro. No,

(01:03:26):
it doesn't mean that you can't be friendly. It doesn't
mean that you can't remember somebody's name. It doesn't mean
that you can't introduce yourself. The gym is a great
place to meet people. Come on, like, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Know if I'm sweaty, I don't want anybody talking to
me with my music and leave me alone.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Yeah, when I'm in when I'm in my mode. Same
thing actually with run Yan.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
Yeah when I I like every day with my puppy,
and like people will try to like stop and say,
even if it's a friend.

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
Of mine, don't talk to me. I'm in my zone.

Speaker 4 (01:03:55):
I'm like, come on, you know, like I'm sweating and
I'm like, you know, feeling hot because I'm listening to
some I don't know something, but but like yeah, I
just it's like a med that's a meditated thing to me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
And couples that work out together get out.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
I mean that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
I know I did too.

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
Yeah no, but I did get into a really good shape.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
But that's a whole different time.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
We're motivating each other, I guess. But it just matching outfits.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Always like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Don't eat, keep working, and I'd be like, I'm just
wasting away.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
I'm serious.

Speaker 4 (01:04:35):
It was like, oh my god, I had to like
sneak granola. It was a whole different relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
I hate those kind of relationships too, when people are
sneaking food.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
I know, I mean seriously, in the middle, I would speak.
I know, yeah, another traumatic story from Kyle Thomas.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
Yay yay. No. I just think that right now we
have to band together. Is what I'm trying to say.
Is like matchmaking. Yes, I love, you know, creating relationship
to relationship, you know, on a personal level, and helping
people find love. And I've already placed multiple people in
relationships this year, which is such an amazing feeling. And

(01:05:13):
that's why I'm passionate about what I'm doing. But another
thing that I'm passionate about is helping the queer community
heal together and find love together, you know. And I
also throw a conscious queer event with my friends. It's
called well it was High Vibe, now it's love Freak
and it's it's yoga meditations that ascetic dance.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
You're like, bitch, I will not be there, I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
In the corner of the martini Like, good job, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
But there's also, you know, for people that don't want
to dance or people that don't want to do yoga,
there's other rooms where you can do tarot and chill
out and just meet other gay men, gay bye, queer men,
transmit whatever or allies. Because we buy our allies into
and just connect, you know, in a deeper way. It's
alcohol free. Those events are alcohol free, so you get
to connect through being real with each other. You know.

(01:06:09):
But I guess what I'm trying to say is that
I think the new way for us all to band
together is to band together as community and to love
one another. And it's as simple as just saying Hi,
I'm Daniel, what's your name? Where are you from? You know,
just a simple You have a great shirt. I love

(01:06:31):
how your eyes match your shirt. You have beautiful hair.
Love how your hair looks today. Wow, you've been working
out this a lot this past couple of weeks. You're
looking really good today. You know, it doesn't even have
to be It can be flirty friendly, or it can
just be friendly.

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
You know, what do you do for a living? I
hate that?

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Oh please, yeah, please don't do that. I actually like
to rephrase it, you know, into what do you spend
most of your What do you enjoy spending most of
your time doing?

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
See, that's a good question, very open ended, right, I'm
just like, what's your credit score?

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
I mean that's a pre qualifier too.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
So damn I can't meditate. I can have a credit score.
Tell everybody where they can find and follow you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
Yeah, so at Matchmaker Daniel Cooley is uh my Instagram
and then go to best man Matchmaking dot com and
your whole team.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
All the bios are there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
You can Yeah, you can check us all out. You
can contact us, you can contact them, you can contact
Kyle through there. Yeah, we've got you know. When we
set you up, we're gonna, you know, introduce you to
potentially our terror carbuter or sotrologer, our photographer Tros Tros.
I love him. He's amazing, he's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Okay, we're talking about dating, and he dated somebody new
and all social media, every goddamn picture and post was
their relationships. Like, dude, we get it, and then look
what happened? Okay, well wait, I love you. You don't
have couples that start dating and then they have to
have their significant other in every goddamn post. Oh look
how cute he is wearing one sock, like who cares?

(01:08:06):
But then you do that too much upfront and then
it fizzles.

Speaker 4 (01:08:10):
The I haven't seen him in a while, Is that
what happened?

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Yeah, DoD, DoD do.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
Not.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
I can't say anything. I don't know what's the I'm
not sure what's going to happen with them.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
I just know if there's no joint post anymore. Thank god.

Speaker 3 (01:08:27):
Read what I read what I read.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
I love ROSSI. I've hung out with it many times.
But like when any couple does that, it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Was like, we have a life coach to Kevin said,
I think that that's so important. Yeah, yeah, so he's
great too, and yeah, we we love to introduce our
guys to those you know people, but as well, Yeah
so best Man Matchmaking dot Com. You can find me
on social media. You can find me on any social media.

(01:08:54):
Just like up Daniel Cooley Matchmaker Daniel Cooley and I'm there, And.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
And you're doing a trip to Thailand by the for singles.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
Yes, yes we're the by the way, Yes we're doing
a singles retreat. Oh my god, I am so excited,
like yeah, we're going to all the beautiful islands, saying
at these beautiful resorts, I'm gonna create really fun games
and exercises for the guys to connect and hang out.
And they're all going to be single and obviously like
successful because they can afford to go on a freaking retreat.

(01:09:23):
So it's gonna be quality guys, and it's gonna be
so much fun. We've already had hundreds of people that
are interested, so we're only taking We're actually only taking
sixteen and so I've got a like release sport actually
supposed to be going through that today. So but yeah,

(01:09:43):
come on, yeah, but yeah, Well I'm also gonna be
in your column.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
On Oh yeah, you're gonna start column for that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Look out for my mixers, yes, ay, singles mixers. Look
out for our love freak events. You know, the Conscious
Career of events. And yeah, I mean that's where you
can find me. Oh, Daniel at best Man Matchmaking dot
Com is my email.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
So all right, Kyle, what do the stars have for
us in store?

Speaker 4 (01:10:12):
Well, I have a lot of predictions that are on
my website and my Patreon that people can dive into.
I really go in depth. I really prize or pride
myself on the fact that I do go into so
much detail, whereas a lot of ustrollers I feel like,
may not. It'll sort of be just like, oh, there's
a full moon this week and it's for money. I'm like,
this is more of the nuances of how things may

(01:10:34):
be so I always release all of that on my website,
which is Kyle Thomas Astrology dot com. One thing that
I want to sort of mention that I was talking
about how like, you know, we all collectively can connect
with the intuitive movement of humanities evolution. Well what you're
what Cheryl talking about is Pluto and Aquarius. So there's

(01:10:56):
going to be over the next twenty years the way
to connect is through community and building up communities and
powerful communities, and there will be new leaders that have
you know, do so because of that. So that's really again,
I think that will become even more of a powerful
point for us to to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:16):
Find the right kinds of tribes.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
But anyways, just sort of where to find me is
my My Instagram is mister Kyle Thomas, so it's m
R K Y L E T h O M A S.
And my website is Kyle Thomas Astrology dot com. And
my Patreon is Patreon dot com slash Kyle Thomas Astrology.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
And you can go to People, People dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:11:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have my My weekly column is
with People Magazine. It comes out on Sundays, and I
have a ton of other articles that are always always
coming out I mean I have videos with Good Morning America.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
I just found out I was on E News yesterday.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
That's so crazy to me, Like the whole celebrity side
of what you do is so fascinating.

Speaker 3 (01:11:52):
It's no, it's really wild.

Speaker 4 (01:11:53):
I mean it's just like I'll suddenly like I was
in the biggest uh Spanish newspaper yesterday, I was in
the News and entertainment yesterday. I was in India's biggest
publication yesterday, and then who's the other one? Any any
economic times. So it's like this stuff happens to me
like all the time, and I'm like just really grateful.

Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
Because it's cool.

Speaker 3 (01:12:15):
I'm like, it's just it's so wild.

Speaker 4 (01:12:18):
And then also it's like I get to work with
really cool people and I've got some TV.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Stuff going on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
So all right, Carl, all right, Well that's it. It's
always a grab bag of fun here. You never know
who's gonna show up every weekend on the Rocks. Big
thank you to our engineer and station owner Tony Sweet.
Please like share it, subscribe so we can continue bringing
the show to you for free until next time. Stay happy,
stay healthy, stay sexy, and if you drink, stay tipsy.
This has been another episode on The Rocks. Tweet me

(01:12:45):
and slide into my dms on Twitter and Instagram on
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