#497 From repeating patterns to emotional intelligence and self-mastery. (Personal development wisdom snippets)

Why do the same patterns keep showing up in your life?

Snippet of wisdom 74.

In this series, I select my favourite, most insightful moments from previous episodes of the podcast.

Today, my guest Christine Jewell talks about breaking free from repetitive emotional and relational patterns by shifting from blame to self-awareness and healing.

Press play to learn how recognizing your unconscious drivers, questioning your identity beliefs, and embracing the present moment can radically transform your relationships and leadership.

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VALUABLE RESOURCES:

Listen to the full conversation with Christine Jewell in episode #406:

https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/406

Mastery Seekers Tribe: https://masteryseekerstribe.com

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Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery

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Episode Transcript

Agi Keramidas (00:01):
Welcome to Personal Development mastery
podcast, and this is anothersnippet of wisdom where I select
my favourite and most insightfulmoments from previous episodes.
Today's snippet comes from myguest, Christine Jewell, who
talks about breaking free fromrepetitive emotional and

(00:22):
relational patterns. Let's diveright in.

Christine Jewell (00:27):
You're the first one that's actually asked
me that even though, to me, it'sso blaringly obvious, but it's
obvious when we're on the otherside or someone on the outside
is looking in. You know, I heardsomebody say the other day, the
hardest place to read the labelis from inside the jar. So when
we're inside our circumstance,we can't see necessarily, like

(00:49):
it's so obvious to everybodyelse. We're like a walking will
billboard. But the easiest placeto in, we're always we are
repeating patterns. We areliving patterns all the time,
95% of what we do is justrepeating repetition. We're in
the automatic nervous system,right? So whether we think we
are, we think we're not, you areeither repeating a pattern or

(01:11):
creating a new pattern. And sobecause we always repeat what we
remember in our nervous systemand our mindset, right? Our
belief systems and everythingelse is just overflow of that.
And so I did get to the placewhere you're absolutely right,
Agi. I was like, Oh, it must behim. It must be my employees.
Clearly, I need to fire thisperson and get somebody new. And

(01:34):
I got tired of actually sayingit was always someone else,
because I realised thateverywhere I went there, I was
reliving the same relationshipdynamic. Now the person's name
was different. It was adifferent man, but it was the
same dynamic. It was all it wasthe same drama. It was the same

(01:55):
chaos. It was the same emotionaltension that was just showing up
with a different name, with adifferent outfit. It was the
same core issues within ourteam, right? It was the same
core. Like the roots are thesame, even though the leaves
look different, you know? And sofinally, you start going, Okay,
wait a second, what are thecommon denominators here? First

(02:17):
of all, everywhere I go, whetherit's work, relationship,
whatever, these things keeppresenting themselves. So maybe
I get to look at who the one isthat's showing up and creating
these things, consciously orunconsciously. And then what are
the things? What are thefamiliar drivers and wounds that
we repeat? And so I startedlooking at three things. Number

(02:38):
one, I What was the pattern ofmy identity, what I believed
about myself, who I thought Iwas, who I thought I wasn't.
Secondly is like, what wasreally driving me right? Was I
chasing something of feelingsomething, and what was the
driver of that, which was often,to be honest, when I got real

(03:00):
with myself, I realised likeanger was a lot of the fuel that
I had been creating from orpain, like wanting to avoid
something of my past or neverexperience what my mom
experienced in her marriage,what my dad ended up with. Like
we're always running away fromsomething, or we're running to
something. So I had to reallyget real with myself and say,

(03:21):
Okay, what am I running awayfrom? And what do I what am I
running to that I think thisnext relationship or this next
business deal or this next thingis going to provide for me,
because we're always chasingsomething because we think it's
going to give us somethingthat's often available to us
now, like peace is availablenow, not once I get the boat, or

(03:44):
once I get the next trip, oronce I get the net. You know,
it's available now. And theproblem is, you know, we're
always living, often living inthe gap. I know you referenced
Dan Sullivan on one of therecent podcasts I was listening
to your viewers, and you know,he talks about living in the gap
and and we do this, it's likewe're on the beach, we're
looking at the sunset, and we'renot even, we're not enjoying the

(04:05):
sunset or the beach. We'reliving like in the water, in
between, all the time, treading,getting tired, instead of like,
can I enjoy and be where I amand experience, you know, peace,
freedom, joy, whatever it ishere, while also being excited
about where we're going.

Agi Keramidas (04:24):
Thank you for listening. You will find the
full conversation with ChristineJewell in Episode 406 The link
is in the episode description.
If you enjoy listening andappreciate what we're doing here
the quick, simple favour I'masking of you is to click the
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