September 8, 2025 • 31 mins
Are you chasing success but still feeling unfulfilled? What if the key to real progress isn’t doing more, but finally getting radically honest with yourself?
In today’s world of hustle culture and high-performance pressure, many achievers find themselves stuck: busy, successful on paper, yet disconnected from purpose and meaning. In this episode, David Wood shares the transformational truth about why we pretend we want things and how facing that pretense is the first step toward genuine alignment, productivity, and joy.
- Discover how to tell the difference between what you say you want and what you're actually committed to.
- Learn the subtle yet powerful shift from external success to internal alignment—and why it matters more than ever.
- Gain clarity on what “playing full out” really looks like and how to start today, even if you've been stuck for years.
Tune in now to uncover the surprising mindset shift that could transform your goals, your productivity, and your sense of fulfillment.
˚
KEY POINTS AND TIMESTAMPS:
02:42 - David's Evolution Since 2021
08:52 - The Power of Stopping Pretending
16:47 - Understanding True Commitment
24:33 - Finding Happiness and Meaning
28:22 - Coaching Offers and Resources
30:46 - Closing Thoughts
˚
VALUABLE RESOURCES:
Take David's quiz: https://focus.ceo/#assess
˚
Explore coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor
˚
🎙️ Want to be a guest?
Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery
˚
Personal development interviews exploring key principles of personal development, self improvement, self mastery, personal growth, self-discipline, and personal improvement — all supporting a life of purpose and fulfilment.
˚
Personal development podcast offering self-mastery and actionable wisdom for self help and living with purpose and fulfilment.
A self improvement podcast with inspirational and actionable insights to help you cultivate emotional intelligence, build confidence, and embrace your purpose. Discover practical tools and success habits for motivation, personal growth, self mastery, mindset shifts, growth mindset, self-discipline, meditation, wellness, spirituality, personal mastery, self growth, and personal improvement. Personal development interviews and mindset podcast content empowering entrepreneurs, leaders, and seekers to nurture mental health, commit to self-improvement, and create meaningful success and lasting happiness.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Agi Keramidas (00:00):
Stop pretending to be committed and discover
(00:03):
where true success comes fromand how to achieve real results.
Welcome to personal developmentmastery, the podcast that helps
intelligent, busy professionalsgain clarity and take aligned
action so you can thrive in apurposeful, fulfilling life. I'm
(00:24):
your host, Agi Keramidas. Joinus every Monday for an
insightful conversation with aguest, and it's Thursday for a
shorter episode where I reflectand share with you
if you are looking to cutthrough distraction and align
your actions with what trulymatters. This conversation
explores how radical honesty andcommitment can unlock deeper
(00:49):
fulfilment and productivity. Bylistening today, you are going
to discover how to tell thedifference between what you say
you want and what you'reactually committed to, and you
will learn the subtle yetpowerful shift from external
success to internal alignment.
If you are successful on theoutside but feel something is
(01:13):
missing on the inside, then thisepisode is for you before we
dive in, if you are in a life orcareer transition and resonate
with the topics we discuss, Ioffer one to one coaching and
mentoring to help you findclarity and move forward with
purpose and confidence. Are youcurious to explore what that
(01:36):
could look like for you? Visitpersonal development mastery
podcast.com/mentor, or just tapthe link in the show notes. Now,
let's get started. Today. I'mexcited to welcome back to the
podcast. David Wood, David, youare a former fortune 100
(02:01):
consultant who turned highperformance coach and
adventurer. You built one of theworld's largest coaching
businesses, and now you helphigh achieving individuals cut
through distraction, getradically honest and create
extraordinary lives by gettingfocused on what truly matters.
(02:22):
David, it's a pleasure to haveyou back on the show, and
especially, I will say that justfor you know a bit of reference,
our previous episodes was about400 episodes ago, so it's great
to have you back. Wow,
David Wood (02:42):
you've been busy.
Agi Keramidas (02:47):
Time went by four years. We spoke in 2021 so four
years have gone by. I'm sure youhave been busy as well. And
actually, let's use that tobegin the conversation. So you
have built in your careersmultiple versions of success
(03:09):
these last four years, since2021 when we spoke, is there any
or has there been any personalturning point that reshaped how
you see success? Now,
David Wood (03:20):
how I see success?
Wow, yeah, and I don't, I don'tthink it was a point in time. It
was more, maybe a person, maybeit was Byron Katie, and getting
older. So I'm 56 now, and I usedto see success as big and
(03:41):
flashy, and to be honest,there's still a part of me that
does. So it's got to be big. Youknow, I wanted to be a snowboard
instructor and then a stand upcomedian, and I'd paraglide over
the Himalayas at 10,000 feetsolo. And I go back to Australia
and see my friends from schooland say, So what's new with you?
(04:06):
Like, yeah, nothing, same old,same all. And I I couldn't
understand it. And I'm like, whywould you live like that? But
then I spoke to one man who hesaid the best part of his life
is at the end of the day, aftera hard day's work, cracking open
a beer sitting in his backyardthat he owns, looking up at the
(04:30):
mountain and sipping a beer andwatching his kids play around
his feet. And that really struckme. And Byron Katie talks about
ordinary angels, just, you know,and and I told her, I want to be
special. And she said, just becareful. Watch the specialness.
(04:54):
The specialness can be deadly.
You. Yeah, and I think she waswas right. So it doesn't mean
that I still don't want to dowonderful things, but I wonder
if it's different now. I wonderif it's less about how it how it
looks, and more about whatexcites me. So since we've
(05:21):
talked was 2021, so four yearsago, I packed my bags and sold
most of what I owned andwhatever I could fit in the car
and on top of the car I tookwith me from Colorado to Los
Angeles with my dog, squeezed inthe top of the car, and we we
(05:48):
moved there, and my deal withmyself was, you've got, you have
to spend one year in LA as anactor. And I didn't know what I
was doing. I didn't even know ifI could act, but I went there. I
got training. I started lookingfor a manager, looking for an
agent, all the things that anactor does. I was doing, I think
(06:09):
my record was 17 audition videosa day. That was my record. A
quiet day might be like fiveauditions and it was all being
uploaded. So did you make a lot?
I did, oh, I did, yeah, when youstart acting, you're usually not
(06:31):
going to be in a movie. So youstart with student projects, you
start working for free, and thenyou work up, and they'll know,
they'll pay you, you know, maybeyou get $80 for something, and
then you might get 200 for aday. And I said, Whoa, you know,
or 200 for really low budgetcommercial. But then I got a
(06:56):
couple of feature films. I gotflown three times to Atlanta or
Las Vegas, and you know,sometimes they paid for my
hotel, and I was like, wow, nowI've made it. They're willing to
pay to fly me in rather than getsomeone local. And that was a
(07:17):
lot of fun. And after a year, Iwas like, Okay, I got my
manager, I got my agent, I didsome good gigs, I got some
amazing training. I found out Ican act, and now I'm done. And
then I moved to Asheville, NorthCarolina, and decided I want to
(07:38):
be a pickleball Pro and coachpickleball so it seems to
create, and now I'm developingapps. I'm now I'm a software
developer creating, i ai appsthat I hope will change the
world and bring us closertogether, more intimacy, more
(07:59):
vulnerability, more connectionin our communication, it'll sit
on your shoulder and track withconsent, track your
conversations and whisper inyour ear and say, Hey, try
curiosity now, try questioning,try validating their emotions
(08:24):
before you go into what youwant. It'll actually train us to
be awesome communicators. Sothere have been lots of
evolution since, since we spoke,although I'm still an actor, I'm
still a pickleball coach, I'mstill a software developer, and
I still have 28 coachingclients, coaching business
owners, mainly, and alsoexecutives. So it's, it's not a
(08:47):
boring,
Agi Keramidas (08:52):
yeah, boring.
Didn't even cross my mind whenyou were describing all this.
Yeah, I'm excited. So it is. I'mglad I referred to you as an
adventurer in the Myintroduction. So now it
completely, you know, makessense there, David, there is
something. Actually, there aretwo or three things in
(09:13):
particular that I wanted tospeak to you about, and that is
related to productivity, whichis something that you are
really, you know, passionateabout. There is something that I
will start. There is something Iread that you said that the real
breakthrough comes when we stoppretending.
Unknown (09:35):
So
Agi Keramidas (09:36):
can you tell us?
What are some common things thatyou know, high achievers pretend
about without really knowingthat they do,
David Wood (09:46):
right? Yes, unconscious pretends. We pretend
that we want things. We pretendthat some things matter. So we
can pretend that our healthmatters, but you've just got to
look at what you eat. Eat to youknow, to find out if that's
true. You'll know if yournutrition actually matters to
(10:08):
you by what you eat. You'll knowif your exercise actually
matters to you by what you whatyou do. And you might say, I
coach a lot of business owners,and you might say, well, I want
to double revenue. But do youreally? Because if you do your
(10:30):
actions might, might, mightalign with what you're doing
today, but they might not. Andthen it gets interesting about
time frame, maybe you say, No,this really matters to me. I
really want to grow thebusiness, I want to impact the
world, I want to serve theworld, or I want to get a
promotion. I want to build mynetwork. But what are you doing
(10:54):
that'll tell you if you're trulycommitted, or if it's a pretence
and there's not, I'm notcriticising. If there's a
pretence, I'm sure I pretend allthe all the time. It's, you
know, it's a constant. Somethings, commitment just shows
up. It's so clear, there's noquestion, right? I'm working
(11:17):
eight hours a day on developingthis software to help us in our
communication, so it's clearthat I'm committed exercise.
Okay, okay. I play pickleballfive times a week, but I'm
clearly not committed to liftingweights. Now let's, let's take
doubling revenue if you reallywere committed, and listeners,
(11:43):
I'd say, look at your actionsand ask yourself. You might be
like, Well, I'm like, halfwaythere maybe, or maybe you are
fully there. But commitmentmight look like joining a
mastermind or getting a coach.
It might look like really havinga solid plan and waking up
knowing what matters. Itprobably looks like turning your
(12:04):
phone onto Do Not Disturb, andI'll make sure. Yeah, mine is so
you can't even see it light upor buzz when there's a message,
and your email notificationscan't ding you and you're
focused for, say, 25 minutes, ifyou like, the Pomodoro
Technique. And you know whatmatters most. And you know my
(12:26):
first Pomodoro is this, mysecond is this, my third is
this, my fourth is this. I waspretending. I'll tell on myself.
Now, I was pretending Agi foryears that I wanted to buy a
house in the US, and the truthis I was conflicted, which is
the common human experience.
(12:50):
We've got conflicting values,and that's how we are. I think
being human is like driving abus full of cats, and each cat
has a different desire ordirection. So, so yeah, I wanted
to own my own home in the UnitedStates. I have a property in
(13:11):
Australia, but I wanted to own ahome here, but also wanted to
spend money, and I like whereI'm renting. So it was quite
conflicted. So it was morepretending that I want a home,
and a lot of complaining thatthe bank won't let me borrow
against my Australian home tobuy one here, because it's two
different countries, right? WhenI finally got committed and
(13:33):
stopped pretending and realised,first I realised I don't really
want a home that much. And so Igot peaceful, and that was
great. And then after a while,started to bubble up, and I and
I started to think, Well, Iwanted a cat for so long, and
they don't let me have a cathere, and I can't go to Colombia
(13:56):
for six months and rent out thisplace. It's against my lease,
and I'd love I'm jealous ofpeople who can Airbnb their
place while they go. And Ithought six months a year sounds
great in a warm climate. And Iwant a pickleball court in my
backyard. I really do. I alsowould like to be away from
(14:18):
barking dogs and so that I couldrent somewhere in the country
like that, but I'm using that asmotivation that I can get
somewhere with space for myneighbours. So I am a new man
Agi. Now that I'm not pretendingI was peaceful for a while,
going, okay, apparently I don'treally want that, but now that I
really do, it's just changing alot. Someone said, Can you come
(14:40):
to Vegas for my birthday. I lovethis friend. I really do want to
show up, but what it's going tocost to do that can go towards a
deposit for the house, and soit's a whole different ball
game. Now, I used to not workWednesdays for 15 years. Days,
and when I say not work, I hadno calls, no coaching calls, no
(15:03):
meetings. So I could just dodeep work on whatever I wanted
to. I opened up Wednesdays.
Maybe I'll open up Saturdaymornings, because I there's
demand for my coaching. If Iwant more clients, I can just
add more time to the calendar.
But everything changes whenyou're actually committed and
(15:24):
you stop pretending. I'm nottelling anyone, you should stop
pretending. No, it's fun topretend that you want to be
healthy and and you want towatch less TV and you want to
drink less alcohol or stopsmoking weed. Nothing wrong with
that. But if you can be honestabout it, you can maybe be more
(15:45):
at peace, and you may find thatthere's a part of you that's not
okay with that you're just notokay with letting go the goal,
and you might actually startgetting aligned. And that gets
very interesting. When you'reactually aligned on your goals,
you can get behind it 100% andI'm all about speed. I like
(16:07):
achieving things at speed. It'sfun for me, and I think that's
why it's partly why people cometo me, because I'm like, Well,
how do you leverage this? How doyou actually work less, but do
more of what matters. Wouldn'tthat be fun? Have more time off
and achieve more? It's not crazyto do that. We've just got to
(16:31):
get aligned and then stop withall the there's a bunch of ways
we shoot ourselves, in the inthe in the feet when we're
pretending, and if we start tofocus and really get into
productivity. It gets veryinteresting
Agi Keramidas (16:47):
when you said about committing, stop reading
and commit. I want to ask, whatdoes that commitment look like?
I'm sure it is more than just adecision, but what does that
commitment look like? And yousaid also that there comes in
point that you are aligned withyour goals. And I think I
(17:09):
haven't heard it described assuch, but I know the feeling. I
think the listener also hasexperienced what that feels
like, even for brief amounts oftime. So when or tell me a bit
about the alignment or thatmoment that you you feel it as
(17:29):
well, but also the commitment, Iwant to hear more about that
commitment, because it reallymakes a big difference.
David Wood (17:37):
I don't you know, the idea that the commitment is
going to come from a moment,that it'll come from, like
something external that happensto you, I want to just, I'm not
interested in that, because thatthat that takes control away
from us, and it takesresponsibility away from us, I
(17:59):
think commitment is a choice.
Commitment is not right orwrong. Commitment is a place to
stand where you say, I'mresponsible for my results and
I'm going to show up. If youwant to know what you're
committed to look at what youhave in your life, that's what
you're committed to. If you'resmoking cigarettes, you're
committed to something aroundthat, if you've got kids and a
(18:20):
family, there's a commitment.
Even if you think you should beshowing up better, you might be
judging yourself. There'ssomething because you so look at
what you have. Look at your bankaccount. That's the level of
wealth you're committed to,because you have it. Vic Baron
CO is no longer with us, but hewas a teacher who said true
(18:42):
intention is demonstrated byattainment, which is another way
of saying you're committed towhat you have. That's how you
know so what does it look like?
You know it. You know it whenyou see it. If I, you know, I'm
thinking about this pickleballcoaching clearly, I'm committed
(19:07):
to being a pickleball coach,because last month, I had 20
pickleball clients in my bootcamp. And you know, I'm feeling
the energy slow down for that asI go into coding and app
development. So, you know, thecommitments slowing down, but
I'm still coaching, and peopleare getting great results, so
(19:30):
clearly I'm committed to that.
But am I committed to being asenior Pro, a professional
touring the country? I'd have tosay no, because I think my mind
goes to well, what would thatlook like? It would look like
having a coaching session formyself every week. It would look
(19:54):
like probably lifting weightsevery morning, because my last
coach told me i. That's what Ineed to do, and I'm not doing
that. So that's interesting.
It's like, okay, apparentlythere's a bit of pretence there.
Now I'm okay with that, and mypriorities are shifting. But you
(20:16):
know, by looking at what you'redoing, just ask yourself, if I
was like Tony Robbins, going formy goals, what would that look
like? What would I do? Would Iyou know what full you know what
full out looks like? You mightbe like, Look, this is more of a
hobby. Even if it's your job, itmight be like, Well, it's kind
(20:38):
of something I'm interested in.
I've got a client. This is quitean Agi topic. I've got a client
whose son has had fivereportable accidents in his car
in the past two years, fivereportable at least twice the
(20:58):
car was completely written offeach time he maintains that it
was not his fault. Well, you gotto be suspicious five times.
Okay. I used to be an actuaryinto statistics. Come on, it's
(21:18):
not looking good. It's notlooking good. So we started
looking at, well, what's what'syour commitment, what's your
stand? And of course, he'sconcerned, of course he's
worried. But he was reallyhonest recently, really honest
in real looking at what a truestand would look like maybe
(21:41):
pulling his his son's licence,maybe doing a bunch of research
to see how other parents haveturned their kids around. Maybe
there's some scare tactics. Butwe looked at, you know, getting
a camera for the car, $3,000 fora camera that will monitor how
(22:02):
often your eyes stray from theroad, yeah, and monitor how
quickly you break and howquickly you accelerate and your
speed, right? And he noticedthat he hadn't bought them,
hadn't bought the camera. He'ddone some actions, but he hadn't
gone full out. And he said, Iwonder how scared I really am. I
(22:24):
want to so this was actually, tobe fair, this wasn't actually
about commitment. It was like, Iwonder how much I really think
he's going to have anotheraccident. How worried am I?
Because if I was really worried,my commitment level to this
might be, might be different,and might show up so and there
was nothing wrong in ourconversation, nothing like,
(22:47):
well, you should be this, or youshould be that. He's like,
wonder if I'm not as committedas I thought. I wonder if I, I,
you know, not as worried as Ithought. And so he's in that
investigation I thought thatmight be useful to just look at.
I I love asking, like, what isfull out look like? What if
you're really going for this? Infact, I I'm going to write that
(23:10):
down on a post it note. I'mgoing to ask my question. Ask
that of my clients, if you areplaying full out, what would
that look like? Not saying youshould, what would it look like?
I've got another client who's,who's, I won't mention the
business, because then someonecould narrow it down. But every
(23:30):
now and then, business will gopoorly. There won't be revenue,
people won't be buying, and it'sa little bit cyclical, and then
my client gets worried about it.
And I said, Well, what if youhad a marketing plan that
carried you through the year?
And what if you had goals forevery single week and you pushed
(23:50):
it and you made 20 calls everyweek and you did this? And what
if you hired a salesperson,which you've never done, and
trained them and gave it a shotlike, you know, I could just see
like, what it could look like ifyou're really committed to
financial peace and havingconsistent cash flow. And so
(24:11):
we're having that conversationnow to see, is that a place that
they want to step into, or is itlike, you know, I'd rather just
do what I'm doing, and I'll takethe ups and downs that's valid.
My job is to hold up a mirrorand say, which is it?
Agi Keramidas (24:33):
Thank you. I wrote that down. That question.
David, thank you. It's if youwere playing full out, what
would it look like it isextremely powerful. I want to
thank you very much for thisconversation. David, it was
enlightening in many ways. Whatyou're saying about commitment,
(24:54):
very useful. I would like youknow, along with any. Final
comments you might have. I wouldlike to ask one, you know, final
question also, I think you knowabout a listener that has the
external success in their life,but they lack the alignment, the
(25:15):
fulfilment. How does that stoppretending that we were talking
about helps them reconnect withthat. You know, Ines, let's say
guidance or
David Wood (25:28):
purpose. Well, I would say a great question to
ask yourself is, are you happy?
Let's start with that. Are youhappy? A client yesterday loves
his job, loves his life, a lotof it, but he gave himself five
out of 10 for meaning,meaningful work. And so we're
(25:51):
exploring what's that look like.
Ask yourself, are you happy? Andbe honest, right? Let's not
pretend we we might bepretending that that life's
fine, and if you are awesome, Ilove that. If you feel like
something's missing, then Ithink maybe some inquiry could
(26:16):
be good. Some investigation.
I've got a client right now.
We're doing we're doing valueswork. The one I just mentioned,
we're exploring, what are hisvalues, what's important to him,
what are his passions? And thenwe're going to look at, How can
his life reflect more of that? Ithink that's one way to have
more meaning and fulfilment inlife, that you're expressing
(26:38):
your values. I get to talk topeople every day about how their
life can be better, whether it'sbetter financial success or
having their kid talk to themafter five years of silence or
whatever it is, what does lovingyour life look like? It's a joy
(26:59):
for me to work on that. So I getto express my values, my values
of play, when I act, when I playpickleball, it doesn't mean I'm
perfectly happy, right? So Icould stop my own pretence about
I think I actually ownedrecently that I've been feeling
(27:19):
a lot of loneliness that Ireally would like a partner, and
I think I was non confrontingthat and pretending for some
time that it was totally fine,and so I can get honest with
myself there. So back to yourquestion. Ask yourself, Am I
happy? And maybe find someone todo some values work and just
(27:42):
check it might be a tweak. Itmight not be a big shift. Like
I'm not saying everybody's gotto go off to Hollywood for
acting, or go and paraglide theHimalayas, or become a snowboard
instructor or a pickle it mightbe you go and take an improv
course. It might be that you getinto AI and create a project. It
(28:03):
might be that you set up datenights with your wife or your
husband. It's a big sandbox outthere, and I want, I want, I
want everyone to be having areally good time playing in that
sandbox.
Agi Keramidas (28:22):
David, thank you very much.
David Wood (28:25):
You're very welcome.
And I'd love to extend an offerto listeners, if that would be
okay, of course. Okay, great. Ifsomething sparked in you
listening to this and youthought, you know, I could ramp
I could ramp up what I'm doing.
I'm already successful. I'malready doing well, and I think
there's more on the table. I'dlike to make three offerings.
(28:50):
One go and fill in my freeassessment. It's a business and
life assessment. The investmentis $0.10 minutes of your time,
and it will provoke you and haveyou work out what matters to you
right now. Where are youheading? What's getting in the
(29:10):
way? And that might be all youwant. And you can leave it at
that and get an email with youranswers. The second thing is, if
you're interested in coachingwith me, that's a really good
step. And the link, by the way,is focus, dot CEO slash quiz.
It's really easy to rememberit's not.com focus, dot CEO
(29:33):
slash quiz. And if you'reinterested in coaching with me,
fill that in. And the next stepis a 15 minute call with me. I
don't charge for that, but I'llreview your answers and see if
coaching could even make adifference for you. And if we're
a fit, and I do that for free,because it's how I find the
right people to work with. Andthe third offering, if we do
(29:57):
decide to work together, I'verealised. Not everyone can
afford $2,000 a month for acoach. If you're not earning
over a quarter million a year,okay, if you are, it's a no
brainer to pay that for a coach.
But if you're not, I've realisedI don't think you should be
paying that. So I'm happy tooffer a sliding scale. If you
mention in the notes, Agi andsliding scale, I'll know when we
(30:19):
get on the call that if we dodecide to work together, it's
not going to be 2000 we'll picksomething. I've gone as low as
300 with people. We'll pick anumber that feels good and right
for where you are right now inyour business or your life. So
focus dot CEO slash quiz. That'smy offering. If there's
(30:39):
something that's sparked and youwant to take this photo,
Agi Keramidas (30:46):
thank you for listening to this conversation
with David Wood. I hope it hasgiven you a fresh perspective on
what it means to stop pretendingand fully commit to the life you
truly want.
If this conversation inspiredyou, helped you or gave you
something meaningful, considersupporting the show. It's like,
(31:10):
buying me a coffee in return forthe value you received. Visit
personal development masterypodcast.com/support
until next time. Stand Out.
Don't fit in.
Stop pretending to be committed and discover
(00:03):
where true success comes fromand how to achieve real results.
Welcome to personal developmentmastery, the podcast that helps
intelligent, busy professionalsgain clarity and take aligned
action so you can thrive in apurposeful, fulfilling life. I'm
(00:24):
your host, Agi Keramidas. Joinus every Monday for an
insightful conversation with aguest, and it's Thursday for a
shorter episode where I reflectand share with you
if you are looking to cutthrough distraction and align
your actions with what trulymatters. This conversation
explores how radical honesty andcommitment can unlock deeper
(00:49):
fulfilment and productivity. Bylistening today, you are going
to discover how to tell thedifference between what you say
you want and what you'reactually committed to, and you
will learn the subtle yetpowerful shift from external
success to internal alignment.
If you are successful on theoutside but feel something is
(01:13):
missing on the inside, then thisepisode is for you before we
dive in, if you are in a life orcareer transition and resonate
with the topics we discuss, Ioffer one to one coaching and
mentoring to help you findclarity and move forward with
purpose and confidence. Are youcurious to explore what that
(01:36):
could look like for you? Visitpersonal development mastery
podcast.com/mentor, or just tapthe link in the show notes. Now,
let's get started. Today. I'mexcited to welcome back to the
podcast. David Wood, David, youare a former fortune 100
(02:01):
consultant who turned highperformance coach and
adventurer. You built one of theworld's largest coaching
businesses, and now you helphigh achieving individuals cut
through distraction, getradically honest and create
extraordinary lives by gettingfocused on what truly matters.
(02:22):
David, it's a pleasure to haveyou back on the show, and
especially, I will say that justfor you know a bit of reference,
our previous episodes was about400 episodes ago, so it's great
to have you back. Wow,
David Wood (02:42):
you've been busy.
Agi Keramidas (02:47):
Time went by four years. We spoke in 2021 so four
years have gone by. I'm sure youhave been busy as well. And
actually, let's use that tobegin the conversation. So you
have built in your careersmultiple versions of success
(03:09):
these last four years, since2021 when we spoke, is there any
or has there been any personalturning point that reshaped how
you see success? Now,
David Wood (03:20):
how I see success?
Wow, yeah, and I don't, I don'tthink it was a point in time. It
was more, maybe a person, maybeit was Byron Katie, and getting
older. So I'm 56 now, and I usedto see success as big and
(03:41):
flashy, and to be honest,there's still a part of me that
does. So it's got to be big. Youknow, I wanted to be a snowboard
instructor and then a stand upcomedian, and I'd paraglide over
the Himalayas at 10,000 feetsolo. And I go back to Australia
and see my friends from schooland say, So what's new with you?
(04:06):
Like, yeah, nothing, same old,same all. And I I couldn't
understand it. And I'm like, whywould you live like that? But
then I spoke to one man who hesaid the best part of his life
is at the end of the day, aftera hard day's work, cracking open
a beer sitting in his backyardthat he owns, looking up at the
(04:30):
mountain and sipping a beer andwatching his kids play around
his feet. And that really struckme. And Byron Katie talks about
ordinary angels, just, you know,and and I told her, I want to be
special. And she said, just becareful. Watch the specialness.
(04:54):
The specialness can be deadly.
You. Yeah, and I think she waswas right. So it doesn't mean
that I still don't want to dowonderful things, but I wonder
if it's different now. I wonderif it's less about how it how it
looks, and more about whatexcites me. So since we've
(05:21):
talked was 2021, so four yearsago, I packed my bags and sold
most of what I owned andwhatever I could fit in the car
and on top of the car I tookwith me from Colorado to Los
Angeles with my dog, squeezed inthe top of the car, and we we
(05:48):
moved there, and my deal withmyself was, you've got, you have
to spend one year in LA as anactor. And I didn't know what I
was doing. I didn't even know ifI could act, but I went there. I
got training. I started lookingfor a manager, looking for an
agent, all the things that anactor does. I was doing, I think
(06:09):
my record was 17 audition videosa day. That was my record. A
quiet day might be like fiveauditions and it was all being
uploaded. So did you make a lot?
I did, oh, I did, yeah, when youstart acting, you're usually not
(06:31):
going to be in a movie. So youstart with student projects, you
start working for free, and thenyou work up, and they'll know,
they'll pay you, you know, maybeyou get $80 for something, and
then you might get 200 for aday. And I said, Whoa, you know,
or 200 for really low budgetcommercial. But then I got a
(06:56):
couple of feature films. I gotflown three times to Atlanta or
Las Vegas, and you know,sometimes they paid for my
hotel, and I was like, wow, nowI've made it. They're willing to
pay to fly me in rather than getsomeone local. And that was a
(07:17):
lot of fun. And after a year, Iwas like, Okay, I got my
manager, I got my agent, I didsome good gigs, I got some
amazing training. I found out Ican act, and now I'm done. And
then I moved to Asheville, NorthCarolina, and decided I want to
(07:38):
be a pickleball Pro and coachpickleball so it seems to
create, and now I'm developingapps. I'm now I'm a software
developer creating, i ai appsthat I hope will change the
world and bring us closertogether, more intimacy, more
(07:59):
vulnerability, more connectionin our communication, it'll sit
on your shoulder and track withconsent, track your
conversations and whisper inyour ear and say, Hey, try
curiosity now, try questioning,try validating their emotions
(08:24):
before you go into what youwant. It'll actually train us to
be awesome communicators. Sothere have been lots of
evolution since, since we spoke,although I'm still an actor, I'm
still a pickleball coach, I'mstill a software developer, and
I still have 28 coachingclients, coaching business
owners, mainly, and alsoexecutives. So it's, it's not a
(08:47):
boring,
Agi Keramidas (08:52):
yeah, boring.
Didn't even cross my mind whenyou were describing all this.
Yeah, I'm excited. So it is. I'mglad I referred to you as an
adventurer in the Myintroduction. So now it
completely, you know, makessense there, David, there is
something. Actually, there aretwo or three things in
(09:13):
particular that I wanted tospeak to you about, and that is
related to productivity, whichis something that you are
really, you know, passionateabout. There is something that I
will start. There is something Iread that you said that the real
breakthrough comes when we stoppretending.
Unknown (09:35):
So
Agi Keramidas (09:36):
can you tell us?
What are some common things thatyou know, high achievers pretend
about without really knowingthat they do,
David Wood (09:46):
right? Yes, unconscious pretends. We pretend
that we want things. We pretendthat some things matter. So we
can pretend that our healthmatters, but you've just got to
look at what you eat. Eat to youknow, to find out if that's
true. You'll know if yournutrition actually matters to
(10:08):
you by what you eat. You'll knowif your exercise actually
matters to you by what you whatyou do. And you might say, I
coach a lot of business owners,and you might say, well, I want
to double revenue. But do youreally? Because if you do your
(10:30):
actions might, might, mightalign with what you're doing
today, but they might not. Andthen it gets interesting about
time frame, maybe you say, No,this really matters to me. I
really want to grow thebusiness, I want to impact the
world, I want to serve theworld, or I want to get a
promotion. I want to build mynetwork. But what are you doing
(10:54):
that'll tell you if you're trulycommitted, or if it's a pretence
and there's not, I'm notcriticising. If there's a
pretence, I'm sure I pretend allthe all the time. It's, you
know, it's a constant. Somethings, commitment just shows
up. It's so clear, there's noquestion, right? I'm working
(11:17):
eight hours a day on developingthis software to help us in our
communication, so it's clearthat I'm committed exercise.
Okay, okay. I play pickleballfive times a week, but I'm
clearly not committed to liftingweights. Now let's, let's take
doubling revenue if you reallywere committed, and listeners,
(11:43):
I'd say, look at your actionsand ask yourself. You might be
like, Well, I'm like, halfwaythere maybe, or maybe you are
fully there. But commitmentmight look like joining a
mastermind or getting a coach.
It might look like really havinga solid plan and waking up
knowing what matters. Itprobably looks like turning your
(12:04):
phone onto Do Not Disturb, andI'll make sure. Yeah, mine is so
you can't even see it light upor buzz when there's a message,
and your email notificationscan't ding you and you're
focused for, say, 25 minutes, ifyou like, the Pomodoro
Technique. And you know whatmatters most. And you know my
(12:26):
first Pomodoro is this, mysecond is this, my third is
this, my fourth is this. I waspretending. I'll tell on myself.
Now, I was pretending Agi foryears that I wanted to buy a
house in the US, and the truthis I was conflicted, which is
the common human experience.
(12:50):
We've got conflicting values,and that's how we are. I think
being human is like driving abus full of cats, and each cat
has a different desire ordirection. So, so yeah, I wanted
to own my own home in the UnitedStates. I have a property in
(13:11):
Australia, but I wanted to own ahome here, but also wanted to
spend money, and I like whereI'm renting. So it was quite
conflicted. So it was morepretending that I want a home,
and a lot of complaining thatthe bank won't let me borrow
against my Australian home tobuy one here, because it's two
different countries, right? WhenI finally got committed and
(13:33):
stopped pretending and realised,first I realised I don't really
want a home that much. And so Igot peaceful, and that was
great. And then after a while,started to bubble up, and I and
I started to think, Well, Iwanted a cat for so long, and
they don't let me have a cathere, and I can't go to Colombia
(13:56):
for six months and rent out thisplace. It's against my lease,
and I'd love I'm jealous ofpeople who can Airbnb their
place while they go. And Ithought six months a year sounds
great in a warm climate. And Iwant a pickleball court in my
backyard. I really do. I alsowould like to be away from
(14:18):
barking dogs and so that I couldrent somewhere in the country
like that, but I'm using that asmotivation that I can get
somewhere with space for myneighbours. So I am a new man
Agi. Now that I'm not pretendingI was peaceful for a while,
going, okay, apparently I don'treally want that, but now that I
really do, it's just changing alot. Someone said, Can you come
(14:40):
to Vegas for my birthday. I lovethis friend. I really do want to
show up, but what it's going tocost to do that can go towards a
deposit for the house, and soit's a whole different ball
game. Now, I used to not workWednesdays for 15 years. Days,
and when I say not work, I hadno calls, no coaching calls, no
(15:03):
meetings. So I could just dodeep work on whatever I wanted
to. I opened up Wednesdays.
Maybe I'll open up Saturdaymornings, because I there's
demand for my coaching. If Iwant more clients, I can just
add more time to the calendar.
But everything changes whenyou're actually committed and
(15:24):
you stop pretending. I'm nottelling anyone, you should stop
pretending. No, it's fun topretend that you want to be
healthy and and you want towatch less TV and you want to
drink less alcohol or stopsmoking weed. Nothing wrong with
that. But if you can be honestabout it, you can maybe be more
(15:45):
at peace, and you may find thatthere's a part of you that's not
okay with that you're just notokay with letting go the goal,
and you might actually startgetting aligned. And that gets
very interesting. When you'reactually aligned on your goals,
you can get behind it 100% andI'm all about speed. I like
(16:07):
achieving things at speed. It'sfun for me, and I think that's
why it's partly why people cometo me, because I'm like, Well,
how do you leverage this? How doyou actually work less, but do
more of what matters. Wouldn'tthat be fun? Have more time off
and achieve more? It's not crazyto do that. We've just got to
(16:31):
get aligned and then stop withall the there's a bunch of ways
we shoot ourselves, in the inthe in the feet when we're
pretending, and if we start tofocus and really get into
productivity. It gets veryinteresting
Agi Keramidas (16:47):
when you said about committing, stop reading
and commit. I want to ask, whatdoes that commitment look like?
I'm sure it is more than just adecision, but what does that
commitment look like? And yousaid also that there comes in
point that you are aligned withyour goals. And I think I
(17:09):
haven't heard it described assuch, but I know the feeling. I
think the listener also hasexperienced what that feels
like, even for brief amounts oftime. So when or tell me a bit
about the alignment or thatmoment that you you feel it as
(17:29):
well, but also the commitment, Iwant to hear more about that
commitment, because it reallymakes a big difference.
David Wood (17:37):
I don't you know, the idea that the commitment is
going to come from a moment,that it'll come from, like
something external that happensto you, I want to just, I'm not
interested in that, because thatthat that takes control away
from us, and it takesresponsibility away from us, I
(17:59):
think commitment is a choice.
Commitment is not right orwrong. Commitment is a place to
stand where you say, I'mresponsible for my results and
I'm going to show up. If youwant to know what you're
committed to look at what youhave in your life, that's what
you're committed to. If you'resmoking cigarettes, you're
committed to something aroundthat, if you've got kids and a
(18:20):
family, there's a commitment.
Even if you think you should beshowing up better, you might be
judging yourself. There'ssomething because you so look at
what you have. Look at your bankaccount. That's the level of
wealth you're committed to,because you have it. Vic Baron
CO is no longer with us, but hewas a teacher who said true
(18:42):
intention is demonstrated byattainment, which is another way
of saying you're committed towhat you have. That's how you
know so what does it look like?
You know it. You know it whenyou see it. If I, you know, I'm
thinking about this pickleballcoaching clearly, I'm committed
(19:07):
to being a pickleball coach,because last month, I had 20
pickleball clients in my bootcamp. And you know, I'm feeling
the energy slow down for that asI go into coding and app
development. So, you know, thecommitments slowing down, but
I'm still coaching, and peopleare getting great results, so
(19:30):
clearly I'm committed to that.
But am I committed to being asenior Pro, a professional
touring the country? I'd have tosay no, because I think my mind
goes to well, what would thatlook like? It would look like
having a coaching session formyself every week. It would look
(19:54):
like probably lifting weightsevery morning, because my last
coach told me i. That's what Ineed to do, and I'm not doing
that. So that's interesting.
It's like, okay, apparentlythere's a bit of pretence there.
Now I'm okay with that, and mypriorities are shifting. But you
(20:16):
know, by looking at what you'redoing, just ask yourself, if I
was like Tony Robbins, going formy goals, what would that look
like? What would I do? Would Iyou know what full you know what
full out looks like? You mightbe like, Look, this is more of a
hobby. Even if it's your job, itmight be like, Well, it's kind
(20:38):
of something I'm interested in.
I've got a client. This is quitean Agi topic. I've got a client
whose son has had fivereportable accidents in his car
in the past two years, fivereportable at least twice the
(20:58):
car was completely written offeach time he maintains that it
was not his fault. Well, you gotto be suspicious five times.
Okay. I used to be an actuaryinto statistics. Come on, it's
(21:18):
not looking good. It's notlooking good. So we started
looking at, well, what's what'syour commitment, what's your
stand? And of course, he'sconcerned, of course he's
worried. But he was reallyhonest recently, really honest
in real looking at what a truestand would look like maybe
(21:41):
pulling his his son's licence,maybe doing a bunch of research
to see how other parents haveturned their kids around. Maybe
there's some scare tactics. Butwe looked at, you know, getting
a camera for the car, $3,000 fora camera that will monitor how
(22:02):
often your eyes stray from theroad, yeah, and monitor how
quickly you break and howquickly you accelerate and your
speed, right? And he noticedthat he hadn't bought them,
hadn't bought the camera. He'ddone some actions, but he hadn't
gone full out. And he said, Iwonder how scared I really am. I
(22:24):
want to so this was actually, tobe fair, this wasn't actually
about commitment. It was like, Iwonder how much I really think
he's going to have anotheraccident. How worried am I?
Because if I was really worried,my commitment level to this
might be, might be different,and might show up so and there
was nothing wrong in ourconversation, nothing like,
(22:47):
well, you should be this, or youshould be that. He's like,
wonder if I'm not as committedas I thought. I wonder if I, I,
you know, not as worried as Ithought. And so he's in that
investigation I thought thatmight be useful to just look at.
I I love asking, like, what isfull out look like? What if
you're really going for this? Infact, I I'm going to write that
(23:10):
down on a post it note. I'mgoing to ask my question. Ask
that of my clients, if you areplaying full out, what would
that look like? Not saying youshould, what would it look like?
I've got another client who's,who's, I won't mention the
business, because then someonecould narrow it down. But every
(23:30):
now and then, business will gopoorly. There won't be revenue,
people won't be buying, and it'sa little bit cyclical, and then
my client gets worried about it.
And I said, Well, what if youhad a marketing plan that
carried you through the year?
And what if you had goals forevery single week and you pushed
(23:50):
it and you made 20 calls everyweek and you did this? And what
if you hired a salesperson,which you've never done, and
trained them and gave it a shotlike, you know, I could just see
like, what it could look like ifyou're really committed to
financial peace and havingconsistent cash flow. And so
(24:11):
we're having that conversationnow to see, is that a place that
they want to step into, or is itlike, you know, I'd rather just
do what I'm doing, and I'll takethe ups and downs that's valid.
My job is to hold up a mirrorand say, which is it?
Agi Keramidas (24:33):
Thank you. I wrote that down. That question.
David, thank you. It's if youwere playing full out, what
would it look like it isextremely powerful. I want to
thank you very much for thisconversation. David, it was
enlightening in many ways. Whatyou're saying about commitment,
(24:54):
very useful. I would like youknow, along with any. Final
comments you might have. I wouldlike to ask one, you know, final
question also, I think you knowabout a listener that has the
external success in their life,but they lack the alignment, the
(25:15):
fulfilment. How does that stoppretending that we were talking
about helps them reconnect withthat. You know, Ines, let's say
guidance or
David Wood (25:28):
purpose. Well, I would say a great question to
ask yourself is, are you happy?
Let's start with that. Are youhappy? A client yesterday loves
his job, loves his life, a lotof it, but he gave himself five
out of 10 for meaning,meaningful work. And so we're
(25:51):
exploring what's that look like.
Ask yourself, are you happy? Andbe honest, right? Let's not
pretend we we might bepretending that that life's
fine, and if you are awesome, Ilove that. If you feel like
something's missing, then Ithink maybe some inquiry could
(26:16):
be good. Some investigation.
I've got a client right now.
We're doing we're doing valueswork. The one I just mentioned,
we're exploring, what are hisvalues, what's important to him,
what are his passions? And thenwe're going to look at, How can
his life reflect more of that? Ithink that's one way to have
more meaning and fulfilment inlife, that you're expressing
(26:38):
your values. I get to talk topeople every day about how their
life can be better, whether it'sbetter financial success or
having their kid talk to themafter five years of silence or
whatever it is, what does lovingyour life look like? It's a joy
(26:59):
for me to work on that. So I getto express my values, my values
of play, when I act, when I playpickleball, it doesn't mean I'm
perfectly happy, right? So Icould stop my own pretence about
I think I actually ownedrecently that I've been feeling
(27:19):
a lot of loneliness that Ireally would like a partner, and
I think I was non confrontingthat and pretending for some
time that it was totally fine,and so I can get honest with
myself there. So back to yourquestion. Ask yourself, Am I
happy? And maybe find someone todo some values work and just
(27:42):
check it might be a tweak. Itmight not be a big shift. Like
I'm not saying everybody's gotto go off to Hollywood for
acting, or go and paraglide theHimalayas, or become a snowboard
instructor or a pickle it mightbe you go and take an improv
course. It might be that you getinto AI and create a project. It
(28:03):
might be that you set up datenights with your wife or your
husband. It's a big sandbox outthere, and I want, I want, I
want everyone to be having areally good time playing in that
sandbox.
Agi Keramidas (28:22):
David, thank you very much.
David Wood (28:25):
You're very welcome.
And I'd love to extend an offerto listeners, if that would be
okay, of course. Okay, great. Ifsomething sparked in you
listening to this and youthought, you know, I could ramp
I could ramp up what I'm doing.
I'm already successful. I'malready doing well, and I think
there's more on the table. I'dlike to make three offerings.
(28:50):
One go and fill in my freeassessment. It's a business and
life assessment. The investmentis $0.10 minutes of your time,
and it will provoke you and haveyou work out what matters to you
right now. Where are youheading? What's getting in the
(29:10):
way? And that might be all youwant. And you can leave it at
that and get an email with youranswers. The second thing is, if
you're interested in coachingwith me, that's a really good
step. And the link, by the way,is focus, dot CEO slash quiz.
It's really easy to rememberit's not.com focus, dot CEO
(29:33):
slash quiz. And if you'reinterested in coaching with me,
fill that in. And the next stepis a 15 minute call with me. I
don't charge for that, but I'llreview your answers and see if
coaching could even make adifference for you. And if we're
a fit, and I do that for free,because it's how I find the
right people to work with. Andthe third offering, if we do
(29:57):
decide to work together, I'verealised. Not everyone can
afford $2,000 a month for acoach. If you're not earning
over a quarter million a year,okay, if you are, it's a no
brainer to pay that for a coach.
But if you're not, I've realisedI don't think you should be
paying that. So I'm happy tooffer a sliding scale. If you
mention in the notes, Agi andsliding scale, I'll know when we
(30:19):
get on the call that if we dodecide to work together, it's
not going to be 2000 we'll picksomething. I've gone as low as
300 with people. We'll pick anumber that feels good and right
for where you are right now inyour business or your life. So
focus dot CEO slash quiz. That'smy offering. If there's
(30:39):
something that's sparked and youwant to take this photo,
Agi Keramidas (30:46):
thank you for listening to this conversation
with David Wood. I hope it hasgiven you a fresh perspective on
what it means to stop pretendingand fully commit to the life you
truly want.
If this conversation inspiredyou, helped you or gave you
something meaningful, considersupporting the show. It's like,
(31:10):
buying me a coffee in return forthe value you received. Visit
personal development masterypodcast.com/support
until next time. Stand Out.
Don't fit in.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.