Have you ever looked like you had it all on the outside (career, success), yet deep down felt unfulfilled?
In a world that celebrates achievement and appearances, many high performers silently wrestle with self-doubt, burnout, and the aching sense that they’re living someone else’s script. This episode dives deep into that “messy middle”, the uncertain and often painful space between who you were and who you're becoming, and shows how to navigate it with courage, authenticity, and trust in your inner voice.
- Discover how to recognize the subtle whispers of your inner knowing and why awareness is always the first step in any true transformation.
- Learn why self-doubt often spikes during major life transitions and how to build self-trust through micro-moments of personal alignment.
- Hear Becca’s own powerful story of hitting rock bottom, experiencing a spiritual awakening, and rebuilding her life from the inside out.
If you’re at a crossroads in life or feel stuck between chapters, this episode will inspire you to pause, reconnect with your inner compass, and step into your most authentic self—press play now.
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KEY POINTS AND TIMESTAMPS:
02:50 - Exploring the Starting Point of Personal Reinvention
06:12 - Becca's Personal Journey of Awareness and Transformation
15:12 - Understanding the "Messy Middle" of Life Transitions
18:48 - Navigating Self-Doubt and Building Self-Trust
24:22 - Practical Tools for Overcoming Self-Doubt
32:37 - Connecting with Becca and Book Information
33:38 - Personal Development and Advice to Younger Self
36:51 - Final Wisdom for Those in Transition
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MEMORABLE QUOTE:
"Stop performing."
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VALUABLE RESOURCES:
Becca Eve's website: https://www.beccaeveyoung.com/
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Coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor
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🎙️ Want to be a guest?
Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery
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Personal development interviews exploring key principles of personal development, self improvement, self mastery, personal growth, self-discipline, and personal improvement — all supporting a life of purpose and fulfilment.
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Personal development podcast offering self-mastery and actionable wisdom for personal growth and living with purpose and fulfilment.
A self improvement podcast with inspirational and actionable insights to help you cultivate emotional intelligence, build confidence, and embrace your purpose. Discover practical tools and success habits for self help, motivation, self mastery, mindset shifts, growth mindset, self-discipline, meditation, wellness, spirituality, personal mastery, self growth, and personal improvement. Personal development interviews and mindset podcast content empowering entrepreneurs, leaders, and seekers to nurture mental health, commit to self-improvement, and create meaningful success and lasting happiness.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Agi Keramidas (00:00):
The messy middle of transition, why it feels
overwhelming, and how to stopperforming and start living
authentically.
Welcome to personal developmentmastery. The podcast for
intelligent, busy professionalswho've achieved success but feel
(00:24):
something is missing, and areseeking clarity, purpose and
fulfilment. Each episode helpsyou grow by inspiring aligned
action through practicalinsights you can actually use.
I'm your host. Agi KeramidasJoin us every Monday for an
insightful conversation with aguest, and it's Thursday for a
(00:46):
shorter episode where I reflectand share with you. This is
episode 540 if you are feelingstuck between chapters of your
life and unsure of your nextstep. Then this episode is for
you. By listening, you willlearn why self doubt often
(01:07):
intensifies during major lifetransitions, and how to build
self trust when you need it themost. Before we start, if you
resonate with the topics wediscuss on the podcast, and you
are navigating a transition, orperhaps feeling cold to a next
(01:30):
chapter that is more purposefuland intentional, I offer one to
one coaching and mentoring tohelp You get clear, reconnect
with what truly matters and moveahead with confidence to explore
what that could look like foryou, visit personal development
mastery podcast.com/mentor orjust up the link in the show
(01:55):
notes. Now let's get started. Myguest today is Becca Eve, Young.
Becca Eve, you are a formercorporate strategist who turned
transformational coach andsoulful storyteller. You walked
away from the societal suits andrebuilt your life from the
(02:20):
inside out. You are the authorof it's gonna get messy, and you
are passionate about guidingothers through the quote,
unquote, messy middle, which isthe uncertain seasons of
identity, shifts, healing self,trust and reinvention so people
(02:42):
can live as their most authenticand soulful selves. Becaev,
welcome to the show. It's such apleasure to speak with you
today.
Becca Eve Young (02:50):
Thank you so much. I'm so glad to be here.
Lovely to talk with you as well.
Agi Keramidas (02:55):
I'm looking forward to exploring with you
today how to navigate life'scrossroads with currents. First
of all, and you know, theauthentic success, rather than
the you know what many, many ofus have believed that success is
(03:21):
straight away, I will, I think Iwill go in the deep water
straight away, for someonelistening right now, who looks
successful on the outside butfeels unfulfilled inside. Where
does this reinvention andhealing begin with, where is the
(03:44):
starting point of it?
Becca Eve Young (03:46):
Yeah, yeah, oh.
I love it. I love it. I lovegoing right in. You know, from
walking that path myself, and Ithink so many people aren't,
this isn't a new conversation,right of, so, first off, these
people are not alone, but youknow, so many people have done
this path, right of like myself,included the house, the car, the
(04:09):
job, the degree, the things, theaccumulation. And you're just
one day you look around, ormaybe it's a series of days, and
I would say it begins withawareness. It begins with an
absolute knowing that, andsometimes it smacks you right in
(04:31):
the face, and sometimes itcreeps up on you, but there's no
denying the awareness that youfeel in your being, that this is
not it, and it might come indifferent whispers of this is
not it. This is you're offcourse. You are miserable. This
isn't you. You are pretending.
(04:54):
You are wearing masks. You arepeople pleasing. But all of
those. Whispers are an absoluteawareness and knowing that what
I have been doing, what we havebeen doing, is not working, and
you can't know that, and youcan't begin to reinvent until
(05:20):
you sit yourself down, or yourHigher Self sits yourself down
and says, Hey, I'm right here.
Might you want to listen to whatI have to say.
Agi Keramidas (05:41):
I like how your answer is both very, you know,
simple and, on the other hand,very profound, also, because
awareness, of course, it is thethe answer, yeah, it's not this
level of awareness, though, andreally recognising this inner
voice is not necessarilysomething that many people are,
(06:08):
you know, adept at, or, youknow, good at.
Becca Eve Young (06:12):
Yeah, I was, you
Agi Keramidas (06:18):
know. Do you want to tell me about your awareness
experience. I read in your storythat there was a spiritual or a
supernatural, if you want tocall it, that experience was
that your awareness shift,
Becca Eve Young (06:34):
yeah, yeah.
Well, mine, mine was, let's see2019 to 2022, you know that
that's such a powerful periodfor all of us. Might certainly
not myself, only myself, but itwas. It began there. It began
with having all the thingsdoing, the corporate climb,
(06:57):
having the MBA, the house, thecars, the things, the other, the
wardrobe, everything, and it wasall falling apart. I was my
marriage was ending. I lost adear friend. I was working
abroad during the pandemic inMexico, my I was laid off. The
border shut down. I was strandedalone. I had no home to go back
(07:21):
to. My friend committed suicide,and I found myself completely
alone for the first time in myadult life, with nobody around,
no TV, no media, nothing to tuneinto but myself, and I realised
(07:42):
I'm like, How is it possiblethat in nearly four decades, I
had never once tuned in Tomyself? I had numbed my way
through, and so as I sat in mytime out from the universe with
(08:06):
literally dirt road. You knowthat the road was covered in
dirt, they locked everythingdown. People were not
travelling. There was noairport. They wouldn't allow
people to drive. I was literallystranded with myself and in that
moment, I got as the universedoes, and when you tune into it,
(08:26):
little things, little littlenotes, I began meditating, as so
many people know the power ofmeditation, and the first time I
did it, I couldn't even tuneinto my body. I couldn't even I
couldn't even feel a body scan.
I was like, This isn't good.
This is not good. And so it wasmeditation. I turned off the
(08:48):
media. I was in nature. I wasgrounding. Someone handed me the
power of now, as so many of usget handed that special, special
book, and all of a sudden, butnot suddenly at all, I just
realised, I've, I've beenplaying and listening and This
(09:13):
unwilling actor in this societalscript. I'm like, I did not, I
did not know I was cast in thisplay who. I did not sign up for
this role and and so we're all apart of this play unknowingly,
(09:36):
until we know, and it is theplay of this is this one.
There's 8 billion souls on thisplanet, and there's just one
form of beauty, there's this oneform of success, there's this
one form of fulfilment. And it'sin media, it's in magazines,
it's on billboards, it'severywhere. It's in your ears,
(09:56):
it's in your eyes. And you're,they don't call it TV
programming for nothing, right?
It's all silently behind you,telling you that this is what
you should be doing. You should,should, should, should, should,
should, should, and all of asudden, all that turned off, and
I'm like, oh, and all thesewhispers of awareness of myself,
(10:25):
my own being, my own internalcompass started to turn on. And
that's where I started torealise you could, that's where,
for me, that awareness where,that's where reinvention begins.
(10:46):
And reinvention sounds like thisbig, you know, mystical, you
know, folder that you have tomove. But so often in life, you
know, it's wildly complicatedyet so ridiculously simple. It's
so simple and we wildly overcomplicate everything. We wildly
(11:12):
over complicate everything. Andso that's where it began for me,
but as I experienced all thisloss, and as sometimes we have
to take down to that, you know,bottom basement moment of on
your knees sobbing, snotting outof your face, you're just like,
why? You know, help me is in,you know, in that moment. And
(11:41):
this is when I thought it was aslow as it could get. And I lost
my dad on top of all this. Andthis gets me every time, even
five years later,he came to me and took me right
out of my body,and showed us, without a shadow
(12:07):
of a doubt, where we all comefrom, what we All are, what we
are all made of. And then Inaturally asked if I could stay
but no, boom, right back into mybody. I'm like, and so the story
(12:32):
of it's gonna get messy is like,what happened? Like, what
happens in that moment, whathappens after that moment? And
just like rebuilding from theground up with a total different
awareness of who we are, all ofus, what we're made of. And how
(12:56):
do you how do you embrace? Youknow purpose, like we don't
already have it, or success, orall these material things, when
you're very much a spiritualbeing having an earthly
experience.
Agi Keramidas (13:18):
Thank you This powerful story, and thank you
for sharing it in the way thatyou did. You know there was one,
one phrase you said about therebeing an unwilling actor in the
in the script. And I think thatmetaphor of playing a role, a
(13:41):
specific role, on a specificperhaps theatre, if you want,
when you start looking at lifelike this, it for me, I
personally find it, it is a goodway from detaching to from, you
know, identifying with theactual role. So I can see a
little bit on the outside, likeAgi playing, you know, the actor
(14:06):
of doing that. So that's thankyou for that metaphor of the,
you know, unwilling actors.
Becca Eve Young (14:14):
Yeah, yeah. It gives you a little separation,
right? You can say, because youcould, and that's what
meditation does for so manypeople. It gives you that little
bit of pause between pausebetween your essence and your
mind to actually pause andalmost see yourself. And you can
see yourself with your ego, withyour script, with your things,
and you're like, hey,what you don't have to read
(14:37):
those lines. You know you can,you can go off script.
Agi Keramidas (14:47):
Let's move on now, because this you've already
mentioned, the messy bit. So wegone past the stage of awareness
and then the journey of thetransfer. Mason begins, you call
it messy. So tell us, first ofall, why is it messy? What's the
(15:09):
mess about?
Becca Eve Young (15:12):
Well, of course, being human, you know,
we have to put a label on it. Imean, it is the way. But you
know, we're all taught toperform. So it goes back to the
play, right? We're all taught toperform, and everything that we
see on social media andeveryone's perfect vacations,
you know, where everyone'shaving the best time ever, but
(15:33):
really they are all likescreaming at each other five
minutes before or crying in theshower. We're all told that
perfection is the goal, and thatsuccess and looking a certain
way and being a certain way isand that we should not be
transparent with our emotions,our feelings, our experiences,
(15:54):
be raw, be vulnerable, and soit's messy because we're taught
that mess is not okay,you know, clean up your room,
young man, clean up your mind,young lady.
And so this is where all this,you know, doubt and shame comes
(16:17):
in, because we're like, Okay,I'm doing the play, I'm reading
the script. I'm being a goodgirl. You know, I'm doing what I
should, should be doing. Isn'tthis good? Aren't I good? But
that's but that's not the point.
There's 8 billion of us, andwe're all perfectly unique
beings, and there will never beanother you, ever in the history
of time and space. So why areyou playing this role that's not
(16:43):
meant for you and it feels messybecause you're like, you're
taught just to not play for you,you're taught to play for this
one role, this one script, andyou feel like you're messy
because like you feel likeyou're deviating, and that's
bad, but that's the absolutepath. The absolute path is to
(17:03):
stop pretending something you'renot, and to be exactly the
little unique being that youare. And so it's messy, because
society says it's messy, butreally it's just authentic.
Agi Keramidas (17:20):
That's a very good answer. And it also for me,
when I hear the term messy,there is that element of needing
some cleaning that is impliedwhen it's a mess. And I think in
some ways that is veryappropriate, because we need to
do some cleaning, some innercleaning during that messy
(17:43):
period. So I wanted to talk toyou about this. And in
particular, there is, and Ibelieve you can tell me also
your own experience, one,something that comes up quite I
think, prominently in cases, insituations transitions like
(18:08):
this, is self doubt, whether,indeed, living, you know, the
previous role was the rightthing to do, or even whether you
will be able to perform so wellin another role. I'm sticking,
(18:28):
for some reason, with theanalogy of the actor in the
role, but I like it, yeah. Sotell us about this kind of
cleaning and, you know, selfdoubt. Let's, let's talk about
this for for a while.
Becca Eve Young (18:48):
Yes, yes. Oh, man, self doubt is the, is the,
the number one, I would say,outcome or effect of ditching
the script, of ditching thesocietal script, because, of
course, this is the, this is therole that you've been handed,
and you've been told since birthyou're meant to play this role,
(19:11):
and then all of a sudden yourealise, no, I that's that's not
true to me. And so, of course,there's mounds of self doubt
that pour onto you, because allof a sudden you're not choosing
to like, ask outside of yourselffor direction, which is what
we're all told to do. You'relike. You start to actually
(19:31):
begin to trust yourself. But ittook, it took me years of micro
trusts to begin to build thatup. And it is, it is it takes
time. It takes it takes time.
But, I mean, we the thing thatwe don't get publicised that
(19:56):
often. Again. In the media ofthe perfect realm. I mean, every
single human on this planet hasself doubt. Beyonce had to come
up with an alter ego, SashaFierce in order to step on the
stage. She was terrified,terrified. So she literally had
(20:20):
to go outside of herself, createan alternate reality person
avatar in order to get thecourage to step out there.
Because we're all used toperforming. And the beautiful
thing is, is if we, as you cansee, even through conversations
(20:42):
like this, if we stop performingand we allow our authentic
selves and our humanity to beseen, there's no need to
perform. And then the irony is,through that sharing of the
messy, which with my story I cantell you. A year ago, the
(21:03):
thought of reading this storymade me want to vomit. I was
like, There's no way peoplelike, I'm not going to actually
publish this. And now I'm like,I don't, I don't care, not in an
egoistic way, but it's my truth,and I know that someone else on
their journey is going to feelmore seen and less alone, and
(21:24):
that's the energy that connectsall of us. And so as we all, you
know, sit in this auditorium, Idon't know why we're going with
the script thing. I haven't, butthis is great. But so you know,
as we're in the auditorium withour scripts, and we all, all of
a sudden, like, someone sings alittle song, and you're like,
that was not in the scene. Andthen also it's like, wow, that
(21:48):
was pretty. And then someoneelse is like, well, I want to, I
want to tell a joke, and I, youknow, and it's like, that unique
expression like that. It's likea flock of birds, right? It's
like you can't emulate that.
It's stunning. It's beautiful.
It's got such frequency to it,and that self doubt is from
ignoring your frequency. It'signoring your rhythm. And as you
(22:12):
in these little micro trustseach day. For me, it was sitting
with my own mind. It was sayingno to the thing that I didn't
want to do. It was stoppingconversating with the person
that you know they're a goodhuman being, but it's somehow
like, doesn't feel good. Andyou're like, Well, I don't want
(22:35):
to be mean. I don't want to Ishould. I should. And it's like,
no. Every time you just listento that little voice, it gets
louder, it gets more clear, andthe self doubt, the little self
doubt metre, starts to slowly.
You know it's coming down. Andsure, there's moments we're
(22:55):
human like, it's not like, oh, Itoday, I have released self
doubt, and it's forever gone.
No, but the more that you learnto trust your own frequency,
your own rhythm, your own path,then you don't have the self
doubt because you're not playinga role you weren't meant to
play.
Agi Keramidas (23:14):
Becca, if tell us about tell us a practical tool,
because you said about buildingit up, this ability to trust in
yourself, tell us, give us apractical tool that you
recommend one can use toactually, you know, build up or,
you know, face the self doubtsthat. And I agree with you that
(23:37):
everyone has that it is great toto share that, because it is
that don't digress back to that.
But it's again, what we'resaying earlier on, that it's
great to feel that you're notalone, that it's not something
that, you know, I have selfdoubts, but you know, Becca,
even Agi, they don't have selfdoubts. It is not so that's
(23:58):
yeah, my self doubt. I will. Iwant to go back to the question
I asked you about, you know,something practical, because
it's one thing to say yes, youneed to overcome your self
doubt, but this little buildingblocks that would be useful to
hear what you recommend.
Becca Eve Young (24:22):
Yeah, yeah, I have, as you've already pointed
out, I am a big fan ofsimplicity and not overly
complicating things, and so forme, and I've touched on it
already a little bit, but thethe number one thing that I
could do was learning how toactivate this, this, this
(24:45):
intuitive compass that we allhave, but it's all been numbed
out through, you name it. Youknow, Netflix, drinking numbing
plans, being busy, you know,saying yes to things that you
don't want. Say yes to and soto, you know, to ditch the self
(25:06):
doubt, first, you have to tuneinto self so you can't even
ditch the self doubt until youtake the step back and actually
connect with yourself. And Ihate to be cliche, but there's a
reason why we all recommendmeditation, because it is the
only thing that allows us. Imean, there's there's other
things, right, time and natureand walks, but it really allows
(25:27):
you to sit with yourself, comeinto your body when we're all so
constantly in our screen and outand in the world. There's so
many great apps for this, I useheadspace. It's like they have
510, 1520, minute meditationseach day, and every morning, I
start with a meditation, and itjust allows you to come into
(25:49):
your body, come into yourintuition, and like, hear your
own voice, and so you can'tditch yourself out until you
know yourself, because thenyou're throwing things away that
you're not connected to. So Ican't recommend it enough. It
has been, it has been lifechanging. And I know everyone's,
you know, not everyone, butpeople get scared of meditation.
(26:11):
Oh, what a thing. And I'm notgoing to do it, right? No, no.
Meditation is messy. Everyonethinks meditation is this, like
Zen state. No, it's a hot messin there. You're with your mind
and the thing, and I sent thatemail, and this person did the
focus. That's meditation, andit's messy for everybody. So
coming into self, meditating,getting like, learning to
(26:32):
witness your mind and then say,Okay, stop. And that's even 10
minutes a day is magical. Sothat's for me, like step one.
And then when you want to learnto ditch that self doubt, it's,
it's really, it's quite simple,because we all learn, okay, oh,
(26:56):
I have this big businessdecision coming up. What should
I do? What do you think I shoulddo? Should I do this? Should I
do that? Should I do this thing?
So we're constantly asking ourpartners, parents, spouses,
friends, lovers, what should Ido? Stop doing that? Yes, yes.
You can ask your friends foradvice, but no one is walking
your path. No one has the energyfrequency experience past,
(27:20):
present, future. We won't talkabout what comes before this
life, what comes after thislife, but this is just, you
know, this is, this is yourbeautiful dream. And so it's
tuning into yourself when youhave the simplest of things, the
simplest of things. Do I want togo to this event? Am I doing it
(27:42):
out of people pleasing or what Ishould or do? I actually want to
go and listening to yourself andletting people down around you
and just choosing what you knowis true for you. It could be as
simple as, Do I want to go tothis movie? No, I don't do I
want to have a coffee or a glassof water. Here. Have a coffee.
(28:03):
You know what? Actually, when Idrink coffee, it makes me feel
anxious, whatever. And saying noto the coffee, I'll have a cup
of tea here. Have a glass ofwine. You know what? I'm not
really feeling that today, butI'll, I'll be the one at the
table who decides to have alemonade. It sounds so silly,
but we don't realise how manyways we abandon ourselves each
(28:26):
day, in the tiniest of fashions,tiny and so you can make all the
big decisions in your life. Youcan go for that thing, you can
go for that job, you can nailit, and you can be like, Yes,
look at me. I'm a person ofimportance like but all those
little micro mistrusts all liveunder the surface, and until you
(28:46):
get in there and look at thatmess that is a mess, and you
allow some of those to be seen,you acknowledge that you abandon
yourself in those moments andyou've let those little things
go, that's where you begin tobuild that self trust, because
you're done abandoning yourself,which we don't realise we do all
the time, for people, pleasing,for parents, everybody. And it's
(29:08):
as simple as choosing you inthose little moments, tiny
little things, where you justsay, I'm done pleasing everybody
else around me. I love you all.
Don't get me wrong, but I'm I'mdoing what I want.
Agi Keramidas (29:33):
Thank you. It does come down in the end to you
know being and knowing yourselfand being able to be present and
feeling for listening or, youknow, understanding what, yeah,
(29:54):
the message is, what the theinner wisdom, if you want, is,
and that is certainly very. Veryimportant in making the big
decisions apart, you know, thethe opinions of the experts. Of
course, they are valid, but Ithink you you said it very, very
(30:15):
nicely that in the end, it isonly you know what is the best
for you and but when I say you,I don't mean the ego you, the
deeper you, the the higher selfyou, yes, that part of you, yes,
Becca Eve Young (30:33):
yes, yes. Well, and when I found myself alone in
the desert for the first time,living alone for the first time
in my life, I literallystruggled with it at first. I
mean, you know, I had no job, Ihad no home, I had no place, I
had no things. I had, like,literally, it's just me. And I
struggled with, you know, Ididn't have a schedule, I didn't
(30:53):
have a corporate, you know, thewhole thing where I'm in
meetings all day, and my teamand everything. And I'm like, do
we want to go for a hike now,and I'm, like, looking around,
I'm like, Oh, I guess, do wewant to go for a hike? Do we
feel like a hike today? Youknow, like, because you're in
this cycle of programming anddoing, and this is like, you're
(31:14):
on autopilot half the time, andso it's just okay. What do we
want for breakfast? Do you notwant to do the you know, it's
little things like that. Thefamily goes on vacation. You're
like, you know what? I love youguys. I see you all the time.
And if I go on one more vacationwith you, with all my work
stress, I'm going to go mentaland say, go. I'm set on the stay
(31:38):
home, because you feel like youhave to please everybody around
you and sometimes that, well, atsome point that catches up with
you, we'll just say
Agi Keramidas (31:52):
definitely yes.
And you know, the little thingsand the little moments, the
those days or those hours thatwe don't do what we would like
to do, or we do that. Thiscomprises our life when you
think about it, but I've avoidit's really fascinating
(32:16):
conversation. I will have tostart wrapping things up little
by little. I wanted, first ofall, I wanted to ask, how can
someone listening or watchingthis can stay in touch with you?
What's the next step for them totake, to connect?
Becca Eve Young (32:37):
Yeah, I love connecting. Of course, I have a
website, beca eveyoung.com, andthere you can find links to my
social media. I'm on Instagramis one that I particularly love.
And also you can find linksthere to my book. It's gonna get
(32:59):
messy. It comes out September30. It is the five year
anniversary of my dad passing,and it is dedicated to him. And
there's, yeah, there's, there'sa bit in the book there about,
there's a fun dad twist thateven beyond the moment in time
(33:20):
that we shared. So it's a bit ofa co creation with his soul and
my soul on this one. So, soyeah, I would love to, I'd love
to connect further outside ofthis lovely conversation.
Agi Keramidas (33:38):
Thank you. But I also have two quick questions
that I always ask, and the firstone is, what does personal
development mean to you? One of
Becca Eve Young (33:51):
my favourite activities, it means coming home
to yourself.
It really does it, whatever thatis, you know, someone telling
you, since you were eight that,you know, you'd love to play the
guitar, but, ah, no, that's nota good career path. I need you
(34:12):
to be a doctor, you know. Or Ireally like shadow puppets, you
know. I don't care whatever yourheart and joy, you know that
thing that calls and pulls toyou? Everyone has that something
that they're just like, really,you're passionate about, that
like, go get it. I'm like, I'mI'm over here. But personal
development is coming home towhat you want to invest your
(34:34):
precious time and energy into,and where you share your your
unique spark.
Agi Keramidas (34:42):
And hypothetically, if you could go
back in time and meet your 18year old self, what's one piece
of advice you would give her?
Becca Eve Young (34:52):
Ooh, it's funny. I'm not really a regret
person like i. Don't have anyregrets, because I just I see
the path of everything when youlook back on it. But if I could
whisper a little something inher ear, I ironically, I would
say, stop performing. That'swhat I would say. I would say,
(35:18):
stop performing.
Agi Keramidas (35:21):
I find it interesting that we have kept
this and without any priorarrangement, we just have kept
this analogy, this metaphor. Iknow this isn't performance and
roles,
Becca Eve Young (35:35):
and this isn't one I've tapped into before, and
I'm like, where is this comingfrom? But it's I like it.
Agi Keramidas (35:43):
I like it too.
Becca, I want to thank you verymuch for this conversation we
had in your insights that youshared. I want to wish you all
the very best with your missionand your book. Of course, what I
would I will leave it to you foryour parting words, and in
(36:03):
particular, what I would likeyou to leave us with is for
someone who has listened to thisconversation and there are in
their own messy space oftransition where they have left
the previous chapter behind.
(36:28):
Yeah, and they are, you know, inuncharted territory, without
even a clear sign of the port orhowever else you want to say it.
So, yeah, leave us with somepart in wisdom for this person.
What could they, you know, usingyour wisdom to draw from,
Becca Eve Young (36:51):
yeah, ah, that person, I want to say
congratulations. First off, Iwant to say congratulations,
because in order to let go ofthat and to let go of the
performing and the peoplepleasing and what isn't serving
you, to arrive at the messyport, you know, to be in the
messy storm, that takes courage.
It takes courage, and so to bethere, to be in that mess, to
(37:21):
not know which way to go, Oh,it's so good. It's so good. It's
so beautiful, because that's awonderful sign. It means you're
not looking for signs outside ofyourself anymore. It means that
you're not drawing from culture,from societal shoulds, from
this, that and the other you'relike, it's messy because you
haven't listened to your owncompass before. And like
(37:44):
anything in life, there's thatduality of light and dark. You
don't you do not know the lightwithout the dark, it's
impossible. There's no referencepoint. And so if you're in that
messy middle, I can tell youwithout a doubt, it's that is a
beautiful time to cocoon andcreate and come home to your
(38:09):
little your little nest. Thatcocoon time is your chrysalis.
This is when you This is whenyou start to form. This is when
you start to grow your wings.
This is when you go from thefuzzy caterpillar, and the
beautiful wings of the butterflystart to form, and the colours
start to emerge. And next thingyou know, you're in this and
(38:31):
you're just like, oh, this is sogross and disgusting. And I'm
like, why? But you don't realisewhat you're forming through
sitting and all that mud is yourlotus. Like, that's what comes
no mud load, no Lotus. And sothe messy middle is like, if you
can just hold on to that aslike, your your safety net, your
buoy in the storm, and just knowthat, okay, I'm going to come
(38:54):
out of this. And I'm becomesharper, clearer, more
beautiful, more rooted in my ownknowing. So if you're there,
it's like, I think of it like,you know, before the before the
game begins, it's just like,you're you're just getting,
you're just getting, you'regetting you're getting ready,
you're getting ready to go outand and blossom. And so in that
(39:17):
messy middle, know that it'sbeautiful. Know that no one has
the answer, but you tune intoyourself. Take care of yourself,
listen to your voice. Pause, getquiet. There's no way to find
your compass without gettingquiet with yourself, feeling
your feelings and allowing allof what you've been stuffing
down to start to come out. Andit's not going to be
(39:39):
comfortable. I hate to break itto you, but it's begging to come
out, and when you let it comeout, it's just, it's, it's a
beautiful rebirth. So,man, maybe I. Need another messy
middle. I love the messy middle.
(40:05):
It's when you get to reinventand come and come home to
yourself. So, you know thosemoments, and after you've had
enough of them, you're like,yes, like, Let's go bring it,
because it's all a chance toexpand and grow and learn. So
(40:28):
thank you. It's a beautifulthing. It's a beautiful thing.
And thank you. I really enjoyedtalking with you. Thank you so
much for creating just like areally wonderful space to share
and talk about this and beauthentic, and allow people to
have a place to go when they'refeeling, you know, off course,
(40:51):
and to create a space wherepeople can can get guidance to
find that inner compass likethat's a beautiful thing. That's
a beautiful gift. So thank youfor for doing that.
Agi Keramidas (41:05):
Thank you for listening to this conversation
with Becca Eve young. I hope ithas given you a fresh
perspective on embracinguncertainty as a powerful part
of personal transformation. Ifthis conversation inspired you
or gave you somethingmeaningful, consider supporting
(41:26):
the show. It's like, buy me acoffee in return for the value
you received. Visit personaldevelopment mastery
podcast.com/support or just tapthe link in the episode
description, until next time.
Stand out don't fit in.
The messy middle of transition, why it feels
overwhelming, and how to stopperforming and start living
authentically.
Welcome to personal developmentmastery. The podcast for
intelligent, busy professionalswho've achieved success but feel
(00:24):
something is missing, and areseeking clarity, purpose and
fulfilment. Each episode helpsyou grow by inspiring aligned
action through practicalinsights you can actually use.
I'm your host. Agi KeramidasJoin us every Monday for an
insightful conversation with aguest, and it's Thursday for a
(00:46):
shorter episode where I reflectand share with you. This is
episode 540 if you are feelingstuck between chapters of your
life and unsure of your nextstep. Then this episode is for
you. By listening, you willlearn why self doubt often
(01:07):
intensifies during major lifetransitions, and how to build
self trust when you need it themost. Before we start, if you
resonate with the topics wediscuss on the podcast, and you
are navigating a transition, orperhaps feeling cold to a next
(01:30):
chapter that is more purposefuland intentional, I offer one to
one coaching and mentoring tohelp You get clear, reconnect
with what truly matters and moveahead with confidence to explore
what that could look like foryou, visit personal development
mastery podcast.com/mentor orjust up the link in the show
(01:55):
notes. Now let's get started. Myguest today is Becca Eve, Young.
Becca Eve, you are a formercorporate strategist who turned
transformational coach andsoulful storyteller. You walked
away from the societal suits andrebuilt your life from the
(02:20):
inside out. You are the authorof it's gonna get messy, and you
are passionate about guidingothers through the quote,
unquote, messy middle, which isthe uncertain seasons of
identity, shifts, healing self,trust and reinvention so people
(02:42):
can live as their most authenticand soulful selves. Becaev,
welcome to the show. It's such apleasure to speak with you
today.
Becca Eve Young (02:50):
Thank you so much. I'm so glad to be here.
Lovely to talk with you as well.
Agi Keramidas (02:55):
I'm looking forward to exploring with you
today how to navigate life'scrossroads with currents. First
of all, and you know, theauthentic success, rather than
the you know what many, many ofus have believed that success is
(03:21):
straight away, I will, I think Iwill go in the deep water
straight away, for someonelistening right now, who looks
successful on the outside butfeels unfulfilled inside. Where
does this reinvention andhealing begin with, where is the
(03:44):
starting point of it?
Becca Eve Young (03:46):
Yeah, yeah, oh.
I love it. I love it. I lovegoing right in. You know, from
walking that path myself, and Ithink so many people aren't,
this isn't a new conversation,right of, so, first off, these
people are not alone, but youknow, so many people have done
this path, right of like myself,included the house, the car, the
(04:09):
job, the degree, the things, theaccumulation. And you're just
one day you look around, ormaybe it's a series of days, and
I would say it begins withawareness. It begins with an
absolute knowing that, andsometimes it smacks you right in
(04:31):
the face, and sometimes itcreeps up on you, but there's no
denying the awareness that youfeel in your being, that this is
not it, and it might come indifferent whispers of this is
not it. This is you're offcourse. You are miserable. This
isn't you. You are pretending.
(04:54):
You are wearing masks. You arepeople pleasing. But all of
those. Whispers are an absoluteawareness and knowing that what
I have been doing, what we havebeen doing, is not working, and
you can't know that, and youcan't begin to reinvent until
(05:20):
you sit yourself down, or yourHigher Self sits yourself down
and says, Hey, I'm right here.
Might you want to listen to whatI have to say.
Agi Keramidas (05:41):
I like how your answer is both very, you know,
simple and, on the other hand,very profound, also, because
awareness, of course, it is thethe answer, yeah, it's not this
level of awareness, though, andreally recognising this inner
voice is not necessarilysomething that many people are,
(06:08):
you know, adept at, or, youknow, good at.
Becca Eve Young (06:12):
Yeah, I was, you
Agi Keramidas (06:18):
know. Do you want to tell me about your awareness
experience. I read in your storythat there was a spiritual or a
supernatural, if you want tocall it, that experience was
that your awareness shift,
Becca Eve Young (06:34):
yeah, yeah.
Well, mine, mine was, let's see2019 to 2022, you know that
that's such a powerful periodfor all of us. Might certainly
not myself, only myself, but itwas. It began there. It began
with having all the thingsdoing, the corporate climb,
(06:57):
having the MBA, the house, thecars, the things, the other, the
wardrobe, everything, and it wasall falling apart. I was my
marriage was ending. I lost adear friend. I was working
abroad during the pandemic inMexico, my I was laid off. The
border shut down. I was strandedalone. I had no home to go back
(07:21):
to. My friend committed suicide,and I found myself completely
alone for the first time in myadult life, with nobody around,
no TV, no media, nothing to tuneinto but myself, and I realised
(07:42):
I'm like, How is it possiblethat in nearly four decades, I
had never once tuned in Tomyself? I had numbed my way
through, and so as I sat in mytime out from the universe with
(08:06):
literally dirt road. You knowthat the road was covered in
dirt, they locked everythingdown. People were not
travelling. There was noairport. They wouldn't allow
people to drive. I was literallystranded with myself and in that
moment, I got as the universedoes, and when you tune into it,
(08:26):
little things, little littlenotes, I began meditating, as so
many people know the power ofmeditation, and the first time I
did it, I couldn't even tuneinto my body. I couldn't even I
couldn't even feel a body scan.
I was like, This isn't good.
This is not good. And so it wasmeditation. I turned off the
(08:48):
media. I was in nature. I wasgrounding. Someone handed me the
power of now, as so many of usget handed that special, special
book, and all of a sudden, butnot suddenly at all, I just
realised, I've, I've beenplaying and listening and This
(09:13):
unwilling actor in this societalscript. I'm like, I did not, I
did not know I was cast in thisplay who. I did not sign up for
this role and and so we're all apart of this play unknowingly,
(09:36):
until we know, and it is theplay of this is this one.
There's 8 billion souls on thisplanet, and there's just one
form of beauty, there's this oneform of success, there's this
one form of fulfilment. And it'sin media, it's in magazines,
it's on billboards, it'severywhere. It's in your ears,
(09:56):
it's in your eyes. And you're,they don't call it TV
programming for nothing, right?
It's all silently behind you,telling you that this is what
you should be doing. You should,should, should, should, should,
should, should, and all of asudden, all that turned off, and
I'm like, oh, and all thesewhispers of awareness of myself,
(10:25):
my own being, my own internalcompass started to turn on. And
that's where I started torealise you could, that's where,
for me, that awareness where,that's where reinvention begins.
(10:46):
And reinvention sounds like thisbig, you know, mystical, you
know, folder that you have tomove. But so often in life, you
know, it's wildly complicatedyet so ridiculously simple. It's
so simple and we wildly overcomplicate everything. We wildly
(11:12):
over complicate everything. Andso that's where it began for me,
but as I experienced all thisloss, and as sometimes we have
to take down to that, you know,bottom basement moment of on
your knees sobbing, snotting outof your face, you're just like,
why? You know, help me is in,you know, in that moment. And
(11:41):
this is when I thought it was aslow as it could get. And I lost
my dad on top of all this. Andthis gets me every time, even
five years later,he came to me and took me right
out of my body,and showed us, without a shadow
(12:07):
of a doubt, where we all comefrom, what we All are, what we
are all made of. And then Inaturally asked if I could stay
but no, boom, right back into mybody. I'm like, and so the story
(12:32):
of it's gonna get messy is like,what happened? Like, what
happens in that moment, whathappens after that moment? And
just like rebuilding from theground up with a total different
awareness of who we are, all ofus, what we're made of. And how
(12:56):
do you how do you embrace? Youknow purpose, like we don't
already have it, or success, orall these material things, when
you're very much a spiritualbeing having an earthly
experience.
Agi Keramidas (13:18):
Thank you This powerful story, and thank you
for sharing it in the way thatyou did. You know there was one,
one phrase you said about therebeing an unwilling actor in the
in the script. And I think thatmetaphor of playing a role, a
(13:41):
specific role, on a specificperhaps theatre, if you want,
when you start looking at lifelike this, it for me, I
personally find it, it is a goodway from detaching to from, you
know, identifying with theactual role. So I can see a
little bit on the outside, likeAgi playing, you know, the actor
(14:06):
of doing that. So that's thankyou for that metaphor of the,
you know, unwilling actors.
Becca Eve Young (14:14):
Yeah, yeah. It gives you a little separation,
right? You can say, because youcould, and that's what
meditation does for so manypeople. It gives you that little
bit of pause between pausebetween your essence and your
mind to actually pause andalmost see yourself. And you can
see yourself with your ego, withyour script, with your things,
and you're like, hey,what you don't have to read
(14:37):
those lines. You know you can,you can go off script.
Agi Keramidas (14:47):
Let's move on now, because this you've already
mentioned, the messy bit. So wegone past the stage of awareness
and then the journey of thetransfer. Mason begins, you call
it messy. So tell us, first ofall, why is it messy? What's the
(15:09):
mess about?
Becca Eve Young (15:12):
Well, of course, being human, you know,
we have to put a label on it. Imean, it is the way. But you
know, we're all taught toperform. So it goes back to the
play, right? We're all taught toperform, and everything that we
see on social media andeveryone's perfect vacations,
you know, where everyone'shaving the best time ever, but
(15:33):
really they are all likescreaming at each other five
minutes before or crying in theshower. We're all told that
perfection is the goal, and thatsuccess and looking a certain
way and being a certain way isand that we should not be
transparent with our emotions,our feelings, our experiences,
(15:54):
be raw, be vulnerable, and soit's messy because we're taught
that mess is not okay,you know, clean up your room,
young man, clean up your mind,young lady.
And so this is where all this,you know, doubt and shame comes
(16:17):
in, because we're like, Okay,I'm doing the play, I'm reading
the script. I'm being a goodgirl. You know, I'm doing what I
should, should be doing. Isn'tthis good? Aren't I good? But
that's but that's not the point.
There's 8 billion of us, andwe're all perfectly unique
beings, and there will never beanother you, ever in the history
of time and space. So why areyou playing this role that's not
(16:43):
meant for you and it feels messybecause you're like, you're
taught just to not play for you,you're taught to play for this
one role, this one script, andyou feel like you're messy
because like you feel likeyou're deviating, and that's
bad, but that's the absolutepath. The absolute path is to
(17:03):
stop pretending something you'renot, and to be exactly the
little unique being that youare. And so it's messy, because
society says it's messy, butreally it's just authentic.
Agi Keramidas (17:20):
That's a very good answer. And it also for me,
when I hear the term messy,there is that element of needing
some cleaning that is impliedwhen it's a mess. And I think in
some ways that is veryappropriate, because we need to
do some cleaning, some innercleaning during that messy
(17:43):
period. So I wanted to talk toyou about this. And in
particular, there is, and Ibelieve you can tell me also
your own experience, one,something that comes up quite I
think, prominently in cases, insituations transitions like
(18:08):
this, is self doubt, whether,indeed, living, you know, the
previous role was the rightthing to do, or even whether you
will be able to perform so wellin another role. I'm sticking,
(18:28):
for some reason, with theanalogy of the actor in the
role, but I like it, yeah. Sotell us about this kind of
cleaning and, you know, selfdoubt. Let's, let's talk about
this for for a while.
Becca Eve Young (18:48):
Yes, yes. Oh, man, self doubt is the, is the,
the number one, I would say,outcome or effect of ditching
the script, of ditching thesocietal script, because, of
course, this is the, this is therole that you've been handed,
and you've been told since birthyou're meant to play this role,
(19:11):
and then all of a sudden yourealise, no, I that's that's not
true to me. And so, of course,there's mounds of self doubt
that pour onto you, because allof a sudden you're not choosing
to like, ask outside of yourselffor direction, which is what
we're all told to do. You'relike. You start to actually
(19:31):
begin to trust yourself. But ittook, it took me years of micro
trusts to begin to build thatup. And it is, it is it takes
time. It takes it takes time.
But, I mean, we the thing thatwe don't get publicised that
(19:56):
often. Again. In the media ofthe perfect realm. I mean, every
single human on this planet hasself doubt. Beyonce had to come
up with an alter ego, SashaFierce in order to step on the
stage. She was terrified,terrified. So she literally had
(20:20):
to go outside of herself, createan alternate reality person
avatar in order to get thecourage to step out there.
Because we're all used toperforming. And the beautiful
thing is, is if we, as you cansee, even through conversations
(20:42):
like this, if we stop performingand we allow our authentic
selves and our humanity to beseen, there's no need to
perform. And then the irony is,through that sharing of the
messy, which with my story I cantell you. A year ago, the
(21:03):
thought of reading this storymade me want to vomit. I was
like, There's no way peoplelike, I'm not going to actually
publish this. And now I'm like,I don't, I don't care, not in an
egoistic way, but it's my truth,and I know that someone else on
their journey is going to feelmore seen and less alone, and
(21:24):
that's the energy that connectsall of us. And so as we all, you
know, sit in this auditorium, Idon't know why we're going with
the script thing. I haven't, butthis is great. But so you know,
as we're in the auditorium withour scripts, and we all, all of
a sudden, like, someone sings alittle song, and you're like,
that was not in the scene. Andthen also it's like, wow, that
(21:48):
was pretty. And then someoneelse is like, well, I want to, I
want to tell a joke, and I, youknow, and it's like, that unique
expression like that. It's likea flock of birds, right? It's
like you can't emulate that.
It's stunning. It's beautiful.
It's got such frequency to it,and that self doubt is from
ignoring your frequency. It'signoring your rhythm. And as you
(22:12):
in these little micro trustseach day. For me, it was sitting
with my own mind. It was sayingno to the thing that I didn't
want to do. It was stoppingconversating with the person
that you know they're a goodhuman being, but it's somehow
like, doesn't feel good. Andyou're like, Well, I don't want
(22:35):
to be mean. I don't want to Ishould. I should. And it's like,
no. Every time you just listento that little voice, it gets
louder, it gets more clear, andthe self doubt, the little self
doubt metre, starts to slowly.
You know it's coming down. Andsure, there's moments we're
(22:55):
human like, it's not like, oh, Itoday, I have released self
doubt, and it's forever gone.
No, but the more that you learnto trust your own frequency,
your own rhythm, your own path,then you don't have the self
doubt because you're not playinga role you weren't meant to
play.
Agi Keramidas (23:14):
Becca, if tell us about tell us a practical tool,
because you said about buildingit up, this ability to trust in
yourself, tell us, give us apractical tool that you
recommend one can use toactually, you know, build up or,
you know, face the self doubtsthat. And I agree with you that
(23:37):
everyone has that it is great toto share that, because it is
that don't digress back to that.
But it's again, what we'resaying earlier on, that it's
great to feel that you're notalone, that it's not something
that, you know, I have selfdoubts, but you know, Becca,
even Agi, they don't have selfdoubts. It is not so that's
(23:58):
yeah, my self doubt. I will. Iwant to go back to the question
I asked you about, you know,something practical, because
it's one thing to say yes, youneed to overcome your self
doubt, but this little buildingblocks that would be useful to
hear what you recommend.
Becca Eve Young (24:22):
Yeah, yeah, I have, as you've already pointed
out, I am a big fan ofsimplicity and not overly
complicating things, and so forme, and I've touched on it
already a little bit, but thethe number one thing that I
could do was learning how toactivate this, this, this
(24:45):
intuitive compass that we allhave, but it's all been numbed
out through, you name it. Youknow, Netflix, drinking numbing
plans, being busy, you know,saying yes to things that you
don't want. Say yes to and soto, you know, to ditch the self
(25:06):
doubt, first, you have to tuneinto self so you can't even
ditch the self doubt until youtake the step back and actually
connect with yourself. And Ihate to be cliche, but there's a
reason why we all recommendmeditation, because it is the
only thing that allows us. Imean, there's there's other
things, right, time and natureand walks, but it really allows
(25:27):
you to sit with yourself, comeinto your body when we're all so
constantly in our screen and outand in the world. There's so
many great apps for this, I useheadspace. It's like they have
510, 1520, minute meditationseach day, and every morning, I
start with a meditation, and itjust allows you to come into
(25:49):
your body, come into yourintuition, and like, hear your
own voice, and so you can'tditch yourself out until you
know yourself, because thenyou're throwing things away that
you're not connected to. So Ican't recommend it enough. It
has been, it has been lifechanging. And I know everyone's,
you know, not everyone, butpeople get scared of meditation.
(26:11):
Oh, what a thing. And I'm notgoing to do it, right? No, no.
Meditation is messy. Everyonethinks meditation is this, like
Zen state. No, it's a hot messin there. You're with your mind
and the thing, and I sent thatemail, and this person did the
focus. That's meditation, andit's messy for everybody. So
coming into self, meditating,getting like, learning to
(26:32):
witness your mind and then say,Okay, stop. And that's even 10
minutes a day is magical. Sothat's for me, like step one.
And then when you want to learnto ditch that self doubt, it's,
it's really, it's quite simple,because we all learn, okay, oh,
(26:56):
I have this big businessdecision coming up. What should
I do? What do you think I shoulddo? Should I do this? Should I
do that? Should I do this thing?
So we're constantly asking ourpartners, parents, spouses,
friends, lovers, what should Ido? Stop doing that? Yes, yes.
You can ask your friends foradvice, but no one is walking
your path. No one has the energyfrequency experience past,
(27:20):
present, future. We won't talkabout what comes before this
life, what comes after thislife, but this is just, you
know, this is, this is yourbeautiful dream. And so it's
tuning into yourself when youhave the simplest of things, the
simplest of things. Do I want togo to this event? Am I doing it
(27:42):
out of people pleasing or what Ishould or do? I actually want to
go and listening to yourself andletting people down around you
and just choosing what you knowis true for you. It could be as
simple as, Do I want to go tothis movie? No, I don't do I
want to have a coffee or a glassof water. Here. Have a coffee.
(28:03):
You know what? Actually, when Idrink coffee, it makes me feel
anxious, whatever. And saying noto the coffee, I'll have a cup
of tea here. Have a glass ofwine. You know what? I'm not
really feeling that today, butI'll, I'll be the one at the
table who decides to have alemonade. It sounds so silly,
but we don't realise how manyways we abandon ourselves each
(28:26):
day, in the tiniest of fashions,tiny and so you can make all the
big decisions in your life. Youcan go for that thing, you can
go for that job, you can nailit, and you can be like, Yes,
look at me. I'm a person ofimportance like but all those
little micro mistrusts all liveunder the surface, and until you
(28:46):
get in there and look at thatmess that is a mess, and you
allow some of those to be seen,you acknowledge that you abandon
yourself in those moments andyou've let those little things
go, that's where you begin tobuild that self trust, because
you're done abandoning yourself,which we don't realise we do all
the time, for people, pleasing,for parents, everybody. And it's
(29:08):
as simple as choosing you inthose little moments, tiny
little things, where you justsay, I'm done pleasing everybody
else around me. I love you all.
Don't get me wrong, but I'm I'mdoing what I want.
Agi Keramidas (29:33):
Thank you. It does come down in the end to you
know being and knowing yourselfand being able to be present and
feeling for listening or, youknow, understanding what, yeah,
(29:54):
the message is, what the theinner wisdom, if you want, is,
and that is certainly very. Veryimportant in making the big
decisions apart, you know, thethe opinions of the experts. Of
course, they are valid, but Ithink you you said it very, very
(30:15):
nicely that in the end, it isonly you know what is the best
for you and but when I say you,I don't mean the ego you, the
deeper you, the the higher selfyou, yes, that part of you, yes,
Becca Eve Young (30:33):
yes, yes. Well, and when I found myself alone in
the desert for the first time,living alone for the first time
in my life, I literallystruggled with it at first. I
mean, you know, I had no job, Ihad no home, I had no place, I
had no things. I had, like,literally, it's just me. And I
struggled with, you know, Ididn't have a schedule, I didn't
(30:53):
have a corporate, you know, thewhole thing where I'm in
meetings all day, and my teamand everything. And I'm like, do
we want to go for a hike now,and I'm, like, looking around,
I'm like, Oh, I guess, do wewant to go for a hike? Do we
feel like a hike today? Youknow, like, because you're in
this cycle of programming anddoing, and this is like, you're
(31:14):
on autopilot half the time, andso it's just okay. What do we
want for breakfast? Do you notwant to do the you know, it's
little things like that. Thefamily goes on vacation. You're
like, you know what? I love youguys. I see you all the time.
And if I go on one more vacationwith you, with all my work
stress, I'm going to go mentaland say, go. I'm set on the stay
(31:38):
home, because you feel like youhave to please everybody around
you and sometimes that, well, atsome point that catches up with
you, we'll just say
Agi Keramidas (31:52):
definitely yes.
And you know, the little thingsand the little moments, the
those days or those hours thatwe don't do what we would like
to do, or we do that. Thiscomprises our life when you
think about it, but I've avoidit's really fascinating
(32:16):
conversation. I will have tostart wrapping things up little
by little. I wanted, first ofall, I wanted to ask, how can
someone listening or watchingthis can stay in touch with you?
What's the next step for them totake, to connect?
Becca Eve Young (32:37):
Yeah, I love connecting. Of course, I have a
website, beca eveyoung.com, andthere you can find links to my
social media. I'm on Instagramis one that I particularly love.
And also you can find linksthere to my book. It's gonna get
(32:59):
messy. It comes out September30. It is the five year
anniversary of my dad passing,and it is dedicated to him. And
there's, yeah, there's, there'sa bit in the book there about,
there's a fun dad twist thateven beyond the moment in time
(33:20):
that we shared. So it's a bit ofa co creation with his soul and
my soul on this one. So, soyeah, I would love to, I'd love
to connect further outside ofthis lovely conversation.
Agi Keramidas (33:38):
Thank you. But I also have two quick questions
that I always ask, and the firstone is, what does personal
development mean to you? One of
Becca Eve Young (33:51):
my favourite activities, it means coming home
to yourself.
It really does it, whatever thatis, you know, someone telling
you, since you were eight that,you know, you'd love to play the
guitar, but, ah, no, that's nota good career path. I need you
(34:12):
to be a doctor, you know. Or Ireally like shadow puppets, you
know. I don't care whatever yourheart and joy, you know that
thing that calls and pulls toyou? Everyone has that something
that they're just like, really,you're passionate about, that
like, go get it. I'm like, I'mI'm over here. But personal
development is coming home towhat you want to invest your
(34:34):
precious time and energy into,and where you share your your
unique spark.
Agi Keramidas (34:42):
And hypothetically, if you could go
back in time and meet your 18year old self, what's one piece
of advice you would give her?
Becca Eve Young (34:52):
Ooh, it's funny. I'm not really a regret
person like i. Don't have anyregrets, because I just I see
the path of everything when youlook back on it. But if I could
whisper a little something inher ear, I ironically, I would
say, stop performing. That'swhat I would say. I would say,
(35:18):
stop performing.
Agi Keramidas (35:21):
I find it interesting that we have kept
this and without any priorarrangement, we just have kept
this analogy, this metaphor. Iknow this isn't performance and
roles,
Becca Eve Young (35:35):
and this isn't one I've tapped into before, and
I'm like, where is this comingfrom? But it's I like it.
Agi Keramidas (35:43):
I like it too.
Becca, I want to thank you verymuch for this conversation we
had in your insights that youshared. I want to wish you all
the very best with your missionand your book. Of course, what I
would I will leave it to you foryour parting words, and in
(36:03):
particular, what I would likeyou to leave us with is for
someone who has listened to thisconversation and there are in
their own messy space oftransition where they have left
the previous chapter behind.
(36:28):
Yeah, and they are, you know, inuncharted territory, without
even a clear sign of the port orhowever else you want to say it.
So, yeah, leave us with somepart in wisdom for this person.
What could they, you know, usingyour wisdom to draw from,
Becca Eve Young (36:51):
yeah, ah, that person, I want to say
congratulations. First off, Iwant to say congratulations,
because in order to let go ofthat and to let go of the
performing and the peoplepleasing and what isn't serving
you, to arrive at the messyport, you know, to be in the
messy storm, that takes courage.
It takes courage, and so to bethere, to be in that mess, to
(37:21):
not know which way to go, Oh,it's so good. It's so good. It's
so beautiful, because that's awonderful sign. It means you're
not looking for signs outside ofyourself anymore. It means that
you're not drawing from culture,from societal shoulds, from
this, that and the other you'relike, it's messy because you
haven't listened to your owncompass before. And like
(37:44):
anything in life, there's thatduality of light and dark. You
don't you do not know the lightwithout the dark, it's
impossible. There's no referencepoint. And so if you're in that
messy middle, I can tell youwithout a doubt, it's that is a
beautiful time to cocoon andcreate and come home to your
(38:09):
little your little nest. Thatcocoon time is your chrysalis.
This is when you This is whenyou start to form. This is when
you start to grow your wings.
This is when you go from thefuzzy caterpillar, and the
beautiful wings of the butterflystart to form, and the colours
start to emerge. And next thingyou know, you're in this and
(38:31):
you're just like, oh, this is sogross and disgusting. And I'm
like, why? But you don't realisewhat you're forming through
sitting and all that mud is yourlotus. Like, that's what comes
no mud load, no Lotus. And sothe messy middle is like, if you
can just hold on to that aslike, your your safety net, your
buoy in the storm, and just knowthat, okay, I'm going to come
(38:54):
out of this. And I'm becomesharper, clearer, more
beautiful, more rooted in my ownknowing. So if you're there,
it's like, I think of it like,you know, before the before the
game begins, it's just like,you're you're just getting,
you're just getting, you'regetting you're getting ready,
you're getting ready to go outand and blossom. And so in that
(39:17):
messy middle, know that it'sbeautiful. Know that no one has
the answer, but you tune intoyourself. Take care of yourself,
listen to your voice. Pause, getquiet. There's no way to find
your compass without gettingquiet with yourself, feeling
your feelings and allowing allof what you've been stuffing
down to start to come out. Andit's not going to be
(39:39):
comfortable. I hate to break itto you, but it's begging to come
out, and when you let it comeout, it's just, it's, it's a
beautiful rebirth. So,man, maybe I. Need another messy
middle. I love the messy middle.
(40:05):
It's when you get to reinventand come and come home to
yourself. So, you know thosemoments, and after you've had
enough of them, you're like,yes, like, Let's go bring it,
because it's all a chance toexpand and grow and learn. So
(40:28):
thank you. It's a beautifulthing. It's a beautiful thing.
And thank you. I really enjoyedtalking with you. Thank you so
much for creating just like areally wonderful space to share
and talk about this and beauthentic, and allow people to
have a place to go when they'refeeling, you know, off course,
(40:51):
and to create a space wherepeople can can get guidance to
find that inner compass likethat's a beautiful thing. That's
a beautiful gift. So thank youfor for doing that.
Agi Keramidas (41:05):
Thank you for listening to this conversation
with Becca Eve young. I hope ithas given you a fresh
perspective on embracinguncertainty as a powerful part
of personal transformation. Ifthis conversation inspired you
or gave you somethingmeaningful, consider supporting
(41:26):
the show. It's like, buy me acoffee in return for the value
you received. Visit personaldevelopment mastery
podcast.com/support or just tapthe link in the episode
description, until next time.
Stand out don't fit in.
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