138: The Energetics of Financial Boundaries

Have you ever wondered why money feels so much more spacious when you make one aligned decision instead of a thousand tiny ones every day?

In this week’s episode of Plenty, I’m diving deep into one of the most overlooked pathways to relaxed wealth: financial boundaries. Not the rigid, budget-heavy kind that feel like punishment… but the kind that act like the riverbanks that keep your financial flow clear, directed, and easeful.

I share how boundaries — financial and energetic — create more safety in your nervous system, more trust in your decisions, and more alignment between where your money goes and what truly matters to you. We explore:

🌿 Why decision fatigue drains not only your energy but your money
🌿 How to know (in your body) when something is a financial yes or no
🌿 The connection between your human design authority and aligned money choices
🌿 Real examples of my own financial boundaries, from client agreements to household spending
🌿 Why saying “no” to the misaligned is actually saying a deeper “yes” to yourself

You’ll also hear simple ways to start practicing aligned yeses and embodied noes in tiny, everyday moments — which makes the bigger financial choices so much clearer. And I walk you through how to begin crafting the kinds of abundance agreements we use inside Relaxed Money so your money can flow where it’s meant to, without leaking into places that don’t nourish you.

If you’ve ever felt like money decisions take more energy than you want to give… or you know your spending and earning could feel more regenerative and grounded… this episode will feel like an exhale.

And if you want support rewiring your nervous system for greater ease with money, don’t miss the free Money Reset audio experience I created for you at katenorthrup.com/reset.

“Financial boundaries are the riverbanks that keep your abundance flowing where it’s meant to go.” –Kate Northrup

🎤 Let’s Dive into the Good Stuff on Plenty 🎤

00:00 Introduction to Financial Boundaries
00:38 Understanding Financial Boundaries
01:13 The Importance of Financial Boundaries
02:16 Signs You Need Financial Boundaries
03:08 Decision Fatigue and Financial Boundaries
04:19 Creating Abundance Agreements
05:24 Aligning Spending with Values
07:48 Consumer Culture and Financial Awareness
08:54 The Purpose of Money
10:00 Setting Financial Boundaries
11:49 Examples of Personal Financial Boundaries
13:06 Learning from Financial Mistakes
13:54 Practicing Financial Awareness
14:30 Operationalizing Financial Boundaries
15:01 Client Communication Boundaries
16:02 General Financial Guidelines
17:06 Reframing Financial Boundaries
17:32 Safety in Financial Boundaries
18:23 Empowered Financial Decisions
19:33 Conclusion and Next Steps

Links and Resources:

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Related Episode:

How to Feel Safe Earning More (Without Sabotaging or Overspending It) (136)

Episode Transcript

Kate Northrup (00:00):
Financial boundaries are one of the most

(00:02):
overlooked but high payoffplaces that we can invest our
time and attention to get a bigpayoff in terms of our overall
sense of safety, abundance, andjust general flow and ease in
our financial lives. Welcome toPlenty. I'm your host, Kate

(00:24):
Northrup, and together, we aregoing on a journey to help you
have an incredible relationshipwith money, time, and energy,
and to have abundance on everypossible level. Every week,
we're gonna dive in with expertsand insights to help you unlock

(00:44):
a life of hunting. Let's go fillour cups.
We're gonna talk about theenergetics of financial
boundaries today. Financialboundaries are one of the most
overlooked but high payoffplaces that we can invest our
time and attention to get a bigpayoff in terms of our overall

(01:06):
sense of safety, abundance, andjust general flow and ease in
our financial lives. So manypeople misunderstand boundaries,
and they think it's just aboutputting walls up and saying no.
But actually, when you thinkabout it, like, in terms of a
river, if you want to have astrong flow of a river, and the

(01:30):
river being your money, you needto have good, strong river banks
in order for that river to knowwhere to go. And that's the same
thing with our money.
Our financial boundaries are abeautiful, literal, and also
energetic riverbank to haveclear boundaries to direct the

(01:54):
financial flow where you want itto go, and it actually keeps the
money safe. It keeps the flow ofabundance safe. It keeps it
knowing where to go, and itprevents you from leaking out
your resources any which waybecause the riverbanks have
fallen in or eroded, or right,because then you just get sort

(02:17):
of like a mucky, boggy, So with,today we're gonna talk about
financial boundaries, what theyare, what they're not, and why
they're so important. So numberone, what are some signs that
you need some better financialboundaries? Well, one would be
not knowing where your moneygoes.
So if you are like, I just don'teven know where it goes, you

(02:39):
need to know some financialboundaries. Overspending,
overpaying, overgiving, sayingyes even when your body says no,
and even if it's micro, likespending money in ways that you
don't actually feel good about,but you have trouble not doing
it, or you're maybe not evenaware that you're doing it in

(03:00):
the first place. So those wouldbe some signs that you need some
financial boundaries. Now whatare financial boundaries? It's
not about, like, a strictbudget.
These are not just spreadsheets.This isn't about you saying no
to your kids when they ask formoney. I mean, it could be, but
it's not only that. Financialboundaries allow your whole
being to relax and surrenderbecause the boundaries do the

(03:25):
holding for you. So there was agreat New York Times article
that came out many years ago,and it was about decision
fatigue.
What scientists have found isthat we only have so much
decision making energy on anygiven day, and that by the end
of the day, we all have decisionfatigue, meaning we can no

(03:48):
longer make smart aligneddecisions by the end of the day,
which is why so many people endup zoning out, scrolling on
their phones, binging Netflix,eating an entire sleeve of
Oreos. Like, if you've not setyourself up for success, you
will use all your decisionmaking power in the morning and
and into midday, and by the endof the day, you'll be like a

(04:08):
blob of dysregulated goo justdistracting yourself and giving
in to any whim for pleasure oryou know, a quick hit of
dopamine anywhere. Instead, whatwe can do is we can make
conscious decisions, agreements,ahead of time so that you don't

(04:29):
have to use any of your limitedamount of decision making energy
on any given day for a decisionthat you could make ahead of
time, aka a boundary. Now whenit comes to money, in Relaxed
Money, we do something calledabundance agreements. So I lead
our crew, our students, througha process of creating abundance

(04:51):
agreements.
So we won't go through the wholething today because it's in the
program, but I'll give you thehigh level so that you can start
to get this working in your ownlife. So what's an example of an
abundance agreement or afinancial boundary? Well one
thing that I really recommenddoing is to get super clear on

(05:13):
what matters to you. What areyour values? And I have a
process to go through for folksto do this inside the program.
But high level, you can begin toask yourself, what really
matters to me? What in thislifetime do I want to make sure

(05:34):
I've experienced? Do I want tomake sure I stand for? What
breaks my heart in the world?What do I feel most called to do
something about?
What are the experiences thathave brought me the most joy?
Those are examples of some ofthese questions that you can
start to ask yourself to haveemerge, what are your values?

(05:57):
And then some of the financialboundaries that I recommend are
that the way you spend yourmoney is in alignment with these
values. For example, I'm notmuch of a car person at this
time in my life. I still drivethe same Toyota Prius that in

(06:17):
fact, I'm so not a car person, Idon't remember the year I bought
this car.
I'm like, I don't know. It'sit's we we bought it cash. It's
paid off. Have no car payment,and because I live in a walking
neighborhood, and because it's aPrius, I like I think I spend
less than $20 a month on gas forthis thing. So I that's like my

(06:39):
car experience.
I just I'm, like, not into it.Right? I get a huge bang for my
buck, though, from going out tonice dinners with friends. So I
spend next to nothing on my carbecause I'm like, whatever. But
we actually have a high, a highline item for really great

(07:04):
restaurant experiences andreally great food.
I order from the left side ofthe menu, right, like what I
actually want to eat, not basedon what it costs. I love
treating friends to incrediblemeals. Love it, right? So that's
an example of my values are theenvironment, beauty, like the

(07:27):
environment, A, the environment,like the Earth, the planet, but
in what I'm talking about here,like beauty, like being in an
experiential thing with people Ilove. So sometimes it's just
Mike, sometimes it's us and thekids, sometimes it's us and
friends, family, whatever.
And so that's a high value ofmine, so I have no problem
spending money on that, andthat's in alignment versus,

(07:51):
like, I also don't buy a lot of,like, designer clothes, designer
shoes, designer handbags. I justyeah. Like a few pieces, that's
great. Not a huge value of mine.Doesn't give me a big bang for
my buck.
So those are examples of how youcould look at it. We often get
ourselves sedated, honestly, byour hyper consumer commercial

(08:16):
culture, and we're so inundatedby commercial messaging. Not
just like watching commercials,because most of us don't watch
commercials anymore, right, withstreaming services and stuff,
but it's everywhere from yourInstagram feed to the way
television shows and movies arescripted to its subtle and
explicit. Right? We are justmarketed to constantly with the

(08:39):
false belief that if you buysomething, it will make you
better, or that if you buysomething, it will make you
different, or that if you buysomething, it will relieve the
existential angst of beinghuman, which it will not.
Right? Like, it ain't ain'tnever gonna happen. That's an
inside job. You No amount ofmoney you can spend is gonna do

(08:59):
that for you. And so we need toawaken from our collective
slumber and really say, like,what is money for?
Right? That's the question thatwe're asking with financial
boundaries. What is my moneyfor? I have gone out here. I
have likely worked for thismoney or received it in some
way, and it is valuable.

(09:19):
It matters. And so I'm onlygoing to use it on that which
matters. And if you want to godeeper into this topic, there's
a great book that I've beenreading called Work Optional,
and I would highly recommend itfor the chapter that goes deeper
into this conversation aroundaligning your money with your

(09:40):
values. Okay. So that's whatreally is important to
understand about financialboundaries is like they are
meant to help you to use yourmoney for what it's for as
opposed to leaking it for whatit is not for.
So how do we create thesefinancial boundaries? Well, I

(10:04):
would start with a sensation.Start in your body and start
asking yourself when you'remaking transactions, when you're
having money conversations withclients or a boss or a coworker
or your spouse or whoever, like,how is this feeling to me in my
body? Where do you have a senseof a no? How does that show up

(10:29):
for you?
And your human design might giveyou further information for
this. I know that in my humandesign, my authority is a sacral
authority, which means Iessentially get a gut feeling of
a yes or no viscerally,immediately, in the moment. And
when I second guess myself, I'mgoing against my human design.

(10:51):
Now for some people, they getthey have an emotional
authority. Like my husband Mike,my business partner, he has an
emotional authority, so his isnot as strong of an instant
knowing.
He often needs to sleep onsomething and think about it for
a little longer. So there'sdifferent kinds of authorities,
and I would, if I were you, Iwould look up your human design.

(11:13):
All you need is your birth dateand time, and then you can get
your design, and you can findout what is your authority, and
that might really help you toknow how to set financial
boundaries. And so you can alsosay, like, when you're getting a
financial request, how does thisrequest land in my body? And

(11:34):
also, is it making me feelexpansive?
Does it feel expansive in mybody, or does it feel
contracted? And that informationcan be so helpful to know for
the future, okay, what's afinancial boundary that I need
to have? So for example, I'vebeen at this business a while
now, since 2010, 2009, 2010, andI just know that I don't like to

(12:00):
do one on one financialcoaching, right? Like that's not
my business model. I don't doone on one coaching.
I am a one to many person. Nowsometimes we have opportunities
where someone can win like a VIPsession as a bonus and things
like that, which I love to do,but as a general rule, my
boundary is I do not do one onone sessions. Why do I know

(12:23):
that? I know that because I havehad that request enough times,
and have felt in my gut a no,like a contraction, to know that
it's just a no. Would it be agood business model?
Sure. Could I make tons of moneydoing it? Could I charge a
really high hourly rate? Yeah,absolutely. But it's just my
financial boundary.

(12:43):
I don't want to. It is just toknow, and I don't need to know
why. Right? I don't need to evengo down that road. It's just to
know the end.
That's fine. So that's aboundary that I have. We also
have financial boundaries aroundour terms and conditions, our
payment plans, our agreementswith our students around those
payments, how they pay, whenthey pay, what happens if they

(13:06):
don't pay. All of those aregreat financial boundaries. And
a few other examples.
My husband and I have afinancial boundary that we don't
spend more than $1,000 withouthaving a conversation with each
other. That's a boundary that weactually learned the hard way,
because there was a scenariowhere money was spent where that
conversation was not had aheadof time, and it didn't end up

(13:28):
that we were both in agreementwith that expenditure. So we set
that boundary. A lot of times,honestly, you don't learn what
your financial boundaries areuntil they've been crossed,
either by you or by somebodyelse. That's okay.
You can just write that down asa new financial boundary once
you get that information. Youcan also practice an aligned yes

(13:49):
and an embodied no in small waysthroughout the day just to build
this muscle. So what do I meanby that? When you go out to a
cafe, for example, maybe you'reused to ordering matcha latte,
but you actually read the menu,and you actually look at their
other options and ask your body,Do you want a matcha latte

(14:10):
today? And maybe the answer isno.
Maybe you actually want achamomile tea. I don't know.
Right? So you can practice insmall ways actually becoming
more attuned to your body'ssignals so that you'll know
during higher stakesconversations if things are a
yes or a no. And then you cananchor your new boundaries with

(14:34):
a loving structure.
What do I mean by that? Well inRelaxed Money, we practice
creating an aligned spendingplan. So there are a whole bunch
of steps we go through,including something called the
expense edit, and then we comeup with everybody has an
individualized, aligned spendingplan. So that's a beautiful way

(14:55):
to operationalize a lovingboundary in a real systems way.
Another one would be, I alreadysaid this, but client containers
that protect your energy.
So setting up your agreementswith your clients in a way that
really protects you and yourenergy. For example, if your
clients can text you and emailyou and WhatsApp you and send

(15:17):
you an Instagram DM and send youa Voxer, like if there's 35
different ways that they cancontact you and they expect you
to respond right away no matterwhat time of day or what day of
the week it is, that's not aclear container. Right? That's
not a firm boundary. Instead,you can let them know during the
onboarding, you can contact mebetween the hours of nine and

(15:39):
five via email, or you cancontact me between the hours of
nine and five via our Voxerchannel, and I will respond
within forty eight hours onbusiness days.
That would be a clear boundaryfor how you can be contacted.
And it helps you to manage yourenergy in a powerful way so that
you're not leaking your energyall over the place, and that

(16:03):
will reverberate, that will bemirrored in your financial life.
And then also, another idea of afinancial boundary is allocating
the amount of money that you usefor certain things. So a great
example of this is like you, wedon't want our housing cost to

(16:23):
be higher than ideally 25% ofour take home income, at the
very, very most, 35%. So youdon't want your rent or your
mortgage to be higher than atthe very highest 35%, but
ideally not higher than 25%.
That's an overall financialboundary that's kind of like a
standard in personal finance.That's an example. We have

(16:46):
another financial boundary inour life that we take 5% profit
off the top in our company. Sorather than waiting until the
end of the year to find out howprofitable we are, we take the
profit off the top because ofthe book Profit First by Mike
Michalowicz, which I highlyrecommend. So those are just

(17:06):
some examples of the financialboundaries you can have.
So to wrap this up, you can alsostart to make some powerful
reframes, because for somepeople, what comes up around
financial boundaries is ourchild selves who don't want to
be told no. You know, so ifthere's a part of you that's
like, I don't want to havefinancial boundaries because I

(17:27):
just want to do whatever I wantto do with my money, and I never
want to be in deprivation, and Ialways want to be able to do
whatever I want, right? And Iwant to buy what dresses I want
to buy, and I want buy thewallpaper I want to buy, and I
want to buy all my supplements,and I Right? That's our child's
selves, right? And that's okay.
You can give that part of you avoice, and also, like with

(17:48):
children, a loving boundaryactually creates a greater sense
of safety than having noboundaries at all. Right? So if
I just say to my kids, you cango to bed whenever you want,
that's not a feeling of safetyfor them. Then it sort of feels
like there's no parent incharge, and that's scary for a
child. There's actually a partof all of us that needs a

(18:10):
financial boundary for a senseof safety so that that riverbank
can guide us towards where weare meant to go, as opposed to
the water just sloshing andleaking everywhere.
So instead, saying no tomisaligned expenses or client
requests, remember that that'ssaying a yes to you. Saying no

(18:34):
to spending money on randomclothes at the mall when you
didn't plan to buy it anyway, orgoing to Target and just buying
whatever you want from theirhome section, and coming home
having spent over $100 yetagain, that may be a loving no
that you say to yourself so thatyou can say a more empowered,

(18:55):
embodied yes to your financialgoals. Right? So anytime you say
a no, it's allowing you to say amore powerful yes somewhere
else. And then the final thingthat I already said, but I just
want to really take home isfinancial boundaries do not
limit your abundance.
They actually increase yourfinancial flow. So you want to

(19:19):
ask yourself now, what financialboundary for you would help your
nervous system feel more safe?Is it a boundary you need within
your business or within yourcareer somehow in your job? Is
it a boundary you need withyourself? Is it a boundary
around spending, a boundaryaround saving, a boundary with

(19:40):
your children, a boundary with aloved one, maybe with your
spouse?
What kind of financial boundarycould you set today to increase
your financial flow and increaseyour nervous system safety and
increase the amount of energyyou have left over from not
having to make that decision atevery single crossroads, and

(20:01):
instead make the decision onetime so that you don't have
decision fatigue spill out allover your finances, and instead
have clear boundaries thatyou've decided ahead of time so
that you can have more flow andmore ease. Thank you so much for
listening. I hope this washelpful, and I will see you next
time. What if managing moneyfelt effortless? You've worked

(20:25):
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(20:47):
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(21:08):
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