August 18, 2023 • 27 mins
Podcast host Ray Sanders, sat down with NFL Pro Bowler and OU football Lombardi Award winner, Tommie Harris at the annual F.U.E.L. Leadership Conference to hear how Tommie's life was forever changed following the sudden death of his wife Ashley. During the interview, Sanders highlights and discusses powerful and touching stories from Tommie's new book, Endure, Playing through life’s hardest hits.
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Episode Transcript
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Ray (00:08):
Hello, everyone. I'm Ray Sanders, and you're listening to
the Ray Sanders LeadershipPodcast. You know, guys,
recently, I had the opportunityto speak at the Fuel Leadership
Conference. And joining me onthis stage was NFL Pro Bowler
Vince Lombardi award winnerTommy Harris, for an interview
(00:28):
about his life and new book,Endure, subtitled Playing
Through Life's Hardest Hits.Let's join that interview now in
progress.
Tommie (00:39):
New Year's Day 2012. We leave the game. We leave we
leave Oakland. It was a terriblegame too, I might say. Terrible.
Half of my team quit on us, butwe weren't going to the
playoffs. So they just act likethey pulled muscles. They eat a
hot dog. I had to play safety,linebacker. I played everything
(01:00):
that game.
I'll never forget. But I I hadplanned with my, wife. She was
my, my fiancee at the time, butI had planned with I said. You
know what? Let's just getmarried.
We're gonna get married rightafter that game. So I got
married on New Year's Day rightafter that game.
Ray (01:15):
So the thing that's interesting about this is that
here he was, he didn't know it,but that was actually your last
game in the NFL.
Tommie (01:23):
Yes, sir. That was it. I did not
Ray (01:25):
know it. So New Year's Day, 2012, NFL, you and a group of
your friends, you go back to thecondo. You're marrying the girl
of your dreams. I've met Ashley.She was beautiful.
Absolutely gorgeous. You all sawthe pictures. You marry her.
You're on top of the world. Youhave no idea what's about to hit
you.
Tommie (01:43):
Not at all.
Ray (01:43):
You didn't hear that train coming?
Tommie (01:45):
No. I felt some I had some nights where things was
weird, but I thought it wasgonna be me. But I felt like I
would wake her up in the middle.I kept seeing 111 all the time,
and I kept waking up likesomething was going on. And one
particular night, she got upwith me.
I was sweating all over theplace. She's I said, something
about to happen. So she said,you alright. And we begin to
(02:06):
pray, but I felt you kinda youget feelings of stuff, but all I
could do was pray like I do now.
Ray (02:13):
And so, married, didn't know it at the time, last NFL
game. 41 days later, whathappened, Tommy?
Tommie (02:22):
41 days later, I actually dropped my wife off to
go to a to Chicago airport tomeet me. I was supposed to meet
her a week later down inOklahoma City, after she was
having a breast reduction to getready for the big, wedding on
June 8th. She was down right inNorman, and, she went in to get
(02:46):
a procedure to have a a breastreduction surgery. And as I'm
landing to meet with her, I hadto make a stop in Austin. I got
a phone call that said, yourwife stopped breathing on the
table.
You need to get to Oklahoma. Andwhat's crazy is about God always
has when you're going throughsomething, it it's crazy how God
(03:07):
always equips you or put a ramin a bush, but you don't know it
till afterwards. You knowhindsight is always 2020. After,
you can sit back and look at thewhat happened. But there was a
guy on the plane that we talkedall the way home.
He owned a jet company flying onAmerican Airline. So when I got
to Austin, I couldn't find anyflights to get me to Oklahoma
(03:29):
when I got the news, but I hadthe guy's number in my pocket
that said if I need anything,just hit him up. I reached down,
called him. He said he didn'teven make it out the airport
yet. He said, Tommy, we got ajet waiting for you in Killeen
that'll take you right toOklahoma.
When I got here, it was,probably a couple days of
praying, fasting, hoping thatGod they had our own life
(03:51):
support. So just hoping that Godwould revive or or or do
something. So I labored forabout 3 days.
Ray (03:59):
And you you share in the book how, you know, your family
is really important to your mamaand your daddy, and you were
praying with her with your mama.
Tommie (04:07):
Yeah.
Ray (04:08):
And you really believed.
Tommie (04:09):
Oh, man. I believe this was I thought that was the
moment where God was gonna do,like you know, as a Christian,
you live for this. You know,Jesus raising people from the
dead. The water's opening andit's like, you all I kept saying
was, God, do it. I'm a tell theworld all about how good your
greatness is, your glory is.
And my mom started screaming andpraying, and the machine started
(04:33):
going crazy. So we thought wehad hope for a minute, and then
it all dissipated. And thenthat's when I finally told God,
I said, let your will be done.
Ray (04:42):
And then the amazing thing is and you'll read I don't wanna
give away all of the bookbecause you and Holden have done
a great job here, but, I cannotimagine what how he found out
about the ultimate situationwith Ashley. Tell him tell him
how you found out about herfinal passing.
Tommie (04:57):
Oh, I found out I was sitting, praying in the chapel,
and, my my the chapel wasadjacent from her room across
from, and I was sitting therepraying, and, Bill had just just
left out. And I was just quietto myself, and then he bust back
in. And he said, hey. Did yousee this? I said, see what?
(05:20):
And he showed on the Internetthat, All Crow, Tommy Harris'
wife, has just died of a brainaneurysm. So that's how I found
out what I was praying foracross the hall.
Ray (05:30):
Yeah. Can you imagine finding out here you are, a
public figure like this, and noone has the respect to to tell
you about your own wife passingand you find out in that way, I
mean, I just can't think ofsomething more terrible. One of
the things that I've I took awayfrom this book, Tommy, and, I'd
love to talk more about it atsome point, but you really kind
(05:50):
of found yourself drinking andreading your Bible. Drinking and
reading your Bible. And the Lordtook you to the book of Job.
Now, as if Ashley's passingwasn't enough, you I did not
know this until I read the book.It didn't stop there. Your life
(06:12):
did not get smooth.
Tommie (06:14):
No. No. I I end up, 4 years later, I end up getting
back in a relationship who I'mwith now, my fiancee. But, we
had a daughter. And, at 4months, we walked in the room,
and our daughter passed of SIDS,sudden infant death syndrome.
And I had a nanny that took careof all my kids, took care of
(06:37):
everybody, and she died fatallywith a head on collision. But
the book's not sad. Like, it itI know he died. She died. Like,
who wants to buy that?
Right? Check it out. Man, I I'mso grateful. Because I get
tired. I was like, I wouldn'twanna buy that.
Right? He died. She died. Likelike, Yeah. It gets better.
(07:01):
It's an it's an encouraging it'sencouraging at the end. I stick
to Landon at the end. Holden dida good job.
Ray (07:10):
But the bottom line is there's a lot of people they can
relate to. They're like, whereis God in all this? I mean,
you're you're trying to do itright. One of the things I love
about Tommy Harris, this dude isnot fake. And he'll tell you
straight up, I'm not perfect.
I'm not I don't have it alltogether. What I can't stand are
people that act like they got itall together. And what I respect
is a man that'll admit, you knowwhat? I'm a still work in
(07:32):
progress. But at the same time,you kinda think you're gonna get
some gimmes, you know.
You kinda think God's gonna giveyou give you some help, and and
the bottom line is, there's somepeople that helped you endure.
Yes. I mean, you talk about thethe value of the huddle in
chapter 4.
Tommie (07:48):
Yes, sir.
Ray (07:49):
Talk about that.
Tommie (07:49):
I mean, in the huddle?
Ray (07:50):
The huddle. I mean, in the huddle.
Tommie (07:51):
The huddle. The huddle. Yeah. The the huddle is, being
able to, surround yourself.Yourself.
I I used to all everyone wouldsay Tommy Harris has the fastest
get off in the NFL and he's thefastest, but I really wasn't. I
could just read lips. And if youdidn't close-up your huddle, I
heard you say on 1. I just readyour lips say on 2. So and the
(08:16):
greatest quarterbacks were TomBrady and Peyton Manning that
you could never get a snap countbecause they always huddled up
tight.
So I started to think the mostsuccessful guys in the league
really takes care of thehuddles. And God started working
with me on different levels ofbeing able to take terms from
football and put them in lifepractices. So I started to think
(08:39):
in business and raising afamily. If you're gonna win in
life's game, it's it's extremelyimportant to start deciding
who's in your huddle and whoyou're gonna win with. And a lot
of us aren't winning because wehaven't made a proper cut or
replaced something that has beenwell overdue.
So we just take the pain of,that's my guy, but we're not
(09:00):
winning with him. So I had tolearn to start deciding to make
cuts, to start seeing whatpeople in my lives I could keep,
what people weren't servicing meanymore, because I was tired of
being in a stagnant a stagnantplace. So I just started making
changes and cuts on my team.
Ray (09:17):
So one of the things that's real clear in your book is your
dad is important to you, yourcoaches are important to you.
Here's a look at this guy. Hisbook, he talked about getting
into counseling and trying toget through some of the issues
that you go through. I love whatyou said on page 6465. You said,
when you endure, you find thatyou aren't simply surviving, but
(09:38):
actually growing.
Go ahead.
Tommie (09:43):
So endure to me is like a call to action. So it's like
it's telling someone to to keepon. Like, I know it's tough
right now. I know it's hard.Right?
But you gotta keep pushing. AndI tell everyone, I never built a
muscle on my body. It didn'thurt me to do it. So it's times
in life where you're you'reunder some strain. You're under
(10:03):
some you're in an uncomfortableplace.
You're in a different place. Butthe truth is we're all
developing. Everyone that'sright here in front of you, we
are developing. It's moment byfrom today to tomorrow. If God
gives us another day, we aredeveloping.
And there's some people that Ihad to learn in my life that
some people will see you in yoursummertime. That's when
(10:23):
everything's going good and somesee people see you in your
spring when things are you yougetting everything you want, and
some people gonna see you whenyou're falling off. He's
changed. He gave his life toChrist. Now he's different.
He and some people see you inthe winter of your life where
you're in the worst positionyou've ever been in. But it's
being able to see it through allthe seasons, all the different
(10:45):
parts of your life throughthrough enduring it. Being able
to first say, this is the daythe lord has made. I will
rejoice and be glad in. I had tostart putting myself in that
practice every no matter howtough it is, how hard it is.
Okay. I said, thank you, God.For today? Okay. What am I gonna
be glad about?
My breath. He gave me breathtoday. He gave me life. No
(11:06):
matter what the outsidecircumstances present, I've
already given God what he'sgiven me, and I said thank you.
I'm grateful to be here.
Ray (11:14):
Man, that's awesome, isn't it? That's that's awesome. You
quote John f Kennedy in thebook, and the former president
says, do not pray for easylives. Pray to be strong, man. I
think that's what your life isbeginning to represent.
And then you you say at the endof the chapter, you say, rather
than looking for the easy wayout, look for the growth way
(11:39):
out. You tell a story and I'vebeen in that stadium and I'll be
there on Saturday. And you talkabout the guys that were called
to run the stadium. And therewas a way to make it easy. Tell
that story.
Tommie (11:53):
Right. And which one?
Ray (11:55):
The one about where you guys are and you get called out.
You're supposed to run up thesteps to the top of the stadium
and run back down, but some ofthe guys figured out Oh, yeah.
Tommie (12:03):
Yeah. But I wasn't allowed
Ray (12:04):
to do it. Yeah.
Tommie (12:05):
Like, I'm telling you, for real when when you're at the
university and you're a certaincaliber, they don't play with
you. Like, I I had to always bethe example, so I couldn't
cheat. I wanted to do some ofthe things that some of the guys
got away with, but I couldn'teven tell either. But we had
some guys we would have to runall the way up to the top of the
stadium on the ramp, that bigramp all the way to the top. We
(12:28):
had 14 seconds to get up, and wehad 20 seconds to get down.
A lot of guys I mean, my wholecrew my 3 years at OU, I never
cheat that drill one time. Butevery I see guys take that they
knew how to get on thatelevator.
Ray (12:44):
And and and it would
Tommie (12:46):
kill me every year. Like, I wanna tell so bad on you
guys, but I I never but it it italways gave me the like, I end
up doing well at the endfinishing off and doing. But it
just showed you how hard hardwork really works. And no matter
how enticing it looks to take ashortcut, it it it's not gonna
(13:07):
help you in that long run. So weHolden did such an incredible
job putting a lot of thesestories together.
All I did have to all I did wassit back and talk and hold and
just you know? So, I mean, he'sdone a we have so many stories
in there, but that's one of theones just not taking the
shortcut. Just just seeing itthrough to the end.
Ray (13:26):
What he's really telling you is he's a man of integrity.
And that's what a real leader islike. They have integrity. Have
you ever heard the line,integrity is doing what you're
supposed to do when no one'slooking? But you know what?
Integrity is doing it no matterif they're looking or not. It's
all the time. And this is a manof integrity. So, Tommy, this is
(13:47):
the this is the punch line. Howmany of those guys that took the
elevator made it into the NFL?
Who? Who? We're not gonna askfor names. Well, you know what?
We have just a little bit moretime, but there's a couple of
(14:09):
things I want to talk about.
One of the things that I'velearned from reading this book,
and folks, they made thisaffordable. You can get it. You
need to get a copy of this book.It's out there tonight. He's
gonna be signing copies as well,but here's here's what I I'm
gonna tell you what I got out ofit.
Not only did I get endure out ofit. That is clear. That's who
you are. Ami Harris, look it upin the dictionary. Endure.
(14:30):
But what I also figured out byreading this book is that I
learned that God doesn't wastepain.
Tommie (14:36):
Every pain has purpose. That is that's that's and it's
difficult to hindsight, I cansay that. Now while you're under
pain, you don't everybody wantspain to stop. But when you know
that you're a believer and youtrust God, that God would never
leave you nor forsake you.Never.
He promises that he'll neverleave you nor forsake you. And
(14:57):
I've always been into the placethat, God, if you trust me with
this, I'm I'm gonna go throughit. It does not matter what
circumstances set up. I can'tquit. I have to see it through
to the end, endure to the end.
And the Bible says that he thatendureth to the end. So this is
daily a process for believers tocommit themselves to never
(15:18):
quitting. I don't I don't careif you get a divorce, if your
finance changes, your money.That your that's not predicated
on your circumstances is notpredicated on your salvation.
Your salvation is what you oweGod.
That that's that's you livingdaily and getting back up again.
Start yes. You're gonna fall.Get back up. Let's go.
I've seen a kid out there. Hefell on the ground and sat down.
(15:39):
I said, no. Don't stay there.Hot stove.
Ray (15:41):
You gotta bounce up. You
Tommie (15:43):
gotta bounce up. So whoever if you're if you're ever
in a down position, down place,always remember, man, this is
the day the Lord has made. Andour job is to rejoice and be
glad. And even when it's tough,the climate right now, if you
feel the social climate,everybody's kind of morale is
we're trying to force back thisnew normal and thrive in this
new normal, but it's encouragingpeople. Every day, I told I told
(16:07):
Texas went and put up theeveryone can have a gun.
Yeah. They're gonna startselling bullets in the gas
station. So I I said, man, we'rein such a climate now that
everybody needs to just love onone another. And I had a friend
in Texas, 2 days ago. He'ssitting at a red light.
He just the light went green. Hejust laid on. I said, no, man.
(16:28):
Texas just everybody carry a gunhere. You can't be doing that in
Texas.
So it's just it's just learningthe climate like like being that
that that fresh air that thatthat that thing that makes a
room better when you walk intoit or being able to fake a smile
until it becomes real or askingsomeone, how you doing today?
(16:50):
You doing alright? We're we'rein such this bubble right now
that people really need to feelthe presence of God. Godly
people has not weighed down withall their struggles, all this
stuff. That stuff is gonna bethere.
We can't do nothing about thatbut believe God. And that's all
I do. That's my message toendure this thing to the end.
Hope it encourages everyonehere.
Ray (17:10):
Yeah. You bet, man. That's awesome. Well, I want to close I
want to close on something wewant to make you aware of. One
of the things that I think thatGod has done by using Tommy's
pain, he was already doing it.
He continues to do it. He has aheart for Africa and the African
people. And one of the thingsthat he has decided to do is
(17:31):
that he wants to build a schoolin honor of his late wife,
Ashley. And they were going todo it in Sudan. Things are crazy
there.
We've got some friends in Ugandathat we both know. We decided to
put together the schooltogether. Cedar Gate Publishing
is going to be a part of it.Several others are gonna be a
part of it. They're they'recoming on board with us.
But we're gonna build a schoolin honor of Ashley Harris. It's
(17:53):
gonna be called the AshleyHarris Sunshine School. There's
some information on your tableabout it. I know nothing would
clear you more than to know thepeople in Yukon got behind you
and supported this school. Do wehave that slide?
Yeah. There it is. As you cansee on the slide there, there's
this is a little Ugandan girl.Tommy and I have been to this
(18:14):
school. This is what it lookslike now.
There's a picture of Ashley. Onthe left down here, Brian and
Marla have seen this school. Andthis is where it's going. This
is the progress and Tommy wantsto build and finish this school
in honor of Ashley. And we'regoing to call it the Ashley
Harris sun Sunshine School inJinze, Uganda.
And at some point, we're gonnago over and celebrate, maybe you
can go with us. Anything youwanna say about it?
Tommie (18:35):
Come on out. Thank you. Thank you.
Ray (18:40):
Alright. One last thing and we gotta wrap this thing up.
I've I made a discovery. Ididn't know this. Bill Horn is,
a guy who's been runningalongside, Tommy for a long
time.
Tommy tipped his hand with meone day and showed me, he said,
I want to tell you a story. Hesaid, Tommy was at a kind of an
expedition game down in Dallasand was cleaning up after the
(19:01):
game and started singing in theshower. And there were some
country and western guys there,Toby Keith and some others. And
they're all like, who's thatdude singing in the shower?
Who's singing in the shower?
No. You Tommy. Yeah. It's me,man. Well, I find out they they
love they love his voice.
They said, you gotta come toNashville.
Tommie (19:20):
I thought they were playing around. I thought they
were pumping me up, but I end updoing it.
Ray (19:25):
You did. And he end up this is I love the way it sound. He
end up writing a song in prison.Yes, sir. Oh, yeah.
Tell me a little bit about that.So I
Tommie (19:34):
end up writing a song in prison. It's a it's a punchline.
I ended up writing a song inprison with Billy Dawson and,
they have a foundation calledthe Beat of Life where all the
country singers go there andthey write songs with inmates.
So while we were in there, wejust had time and and songs were
just flowing everywhere. I said,I done wrote 3 songs in prison.
(19:58):
So so that's my story aboutthat. We were in a Nashville
prison, but just being able tosit and write all these
different tunes, Billy Dawsonleaned over to me while we were
having a break. And he said,Tommy, he said, man, like, I see
you I see you around and you andyou're looking like you.
Sometimes I see you check outand you check he said, how you
(20:19):
really feel? And I said, to behonest, Billy, I feel deflated.
And he said, say that again? Isaid, I feel deflated. What else
you feel? Is it? So so fromright then on, we we just
started putting it together, andthen I did another song with
Rivers Rutherford.
He just went to the country hallof fame. But it was just great
(20:42):
to be able to go out there, andI'm I'm just living, trying
trying different things.
Ray (20:47):
So would you give Tommy Harris a round of applause? I
mean, come on. We're glad thatyou've endured. I can I can set
it up, but you guys are gettingready to see something really
special? We're getting ready toshow you he made a music video.
You wanna tell me anything aboutit before we play it?
Tommie (21:07):
I didn't know. Yeah. I was good. Which one is this?
Ray (21:10):
It's deflated.
Tommie (21:11):
Yeah. So deflated was, just just moments of it's that
silent pause or that in thatmoment of where you feel like
you don't have all the answers,everything in your world is just
shattered. That news you justbut God comes and give breath
back to a flat line situation.But God comes and give breath
back to a a flat line situationthat you thought was over. And
(21:33):
you get to see a new side of Godin trouble.
So I'm not begging people to goget in life, but it's just the
perspective that I had that Igot to see another side of God
through my suffering, mystruggles.
Ray (21:45):
So, folks, we're gonna present to you not only an 8
year NFL star, pro bowler, VinceLombardi award winner. We're now
gonna present to you country andwestern star, Tommy Harris.
Tommie (21:58):
Roll the
Ray (21:59):
table, boys. Thanks, Tommy.
Tommie (22:00):
Thank you. I put on my wife, and I couldn't save her at
28, and that monitor where shewas breathing through, and I
calculated all the money I had.And I looked at her, and it
couldn't save it, all the valueof that dollar said it ain't I
really know what value is. At845, I was flying high on an
(22:41):
airplane. Then I got takes a manto stand down
Ray (26:53):
I sure hope you enjoyed today's program with special
guest, Tommy Harris. You know,you can get a copy of Tommy's
book, Endure, by visitingthecedargate.comforward/tommyharris.
That's thecedargate.com forwardslash Tommy Harris. Now don't
forget, you have to spell hisname, tommie.
Hello, everyone. I'm Ray Sanders, and you're listening to
the Ray Sanders LeadershipPodcast. You know, guys,
recently, I had the opportunityto speak at the Fuel Leadership
Conference. And joining me onthis stage was NFL Pro Bowler
Vince Lombardi award winnerTommy Harris, for an interview
(00:28):
about his life and new book,Endure, subtitled Playing
Through Life's Hardest Hits.Let's join that interview now in
progress.
Tommie (00:39):
New Year's Day 2012. We leave the game. We leave we
leave Oakland. It was a terriblegame too, I might say. Terrible.
Half of my team quit on us, butwe weren't going to the
playoffs. So they just act likethey pulled muscles. They eat a
hot dog. I had to play safety,linebacker. I played everything
(01:00):
that game.
I'll never forget. But I I hadplanned with my, wife. She was
my, my fiancee at the time, butI had planned with I said. You
know what? Let's just getmarried.
We're gonna get married rightafter that game. So I got
married on New Year's Day rightafter that game.
Ray (01:15):
So the thing that's interesting about this is that
here he was, he didn't know it,but that was actually your last
game in the NFL.
Tommie (01:23):
Yes, sir. That was it. I did not
Ray (01:25):
know it. So New Year's Day, 2012, NFL, you and a group of
your friends, you go back to thecondo. You're marrying the girl
of your dreams. I've met Ashley.She was beautiful.
Absolutely gorgeous. You all sawthe pictures. You marry her.
You're on top of the world. Youhave no idea what's about to hit
you.
Tommie (01:43):
Not at all.
Ray (01:43):
You didn't hear that train coming?
Tommie (01:45):
No. I felt some I had some nights where things was
weird, but I thought it wasgonna be me. But I felt like I
would wake her up in the middle.I kept seeing 111 all the time,
and I kept waking up likesomething was going on. And one
particular night, she got upwith me.
I was sweating all over theplace. She's I said, something
about to happen. So she said,you alright. And we begin to
(02:06):
pray, but I felt you kinda youget feelings of stuff, but all I
could do was pray like I do now.
Ray (02:13):
And so, married, didn't know it at the time, last NFL
game. 41 days later, whathappened, Tommy?
Tommie (02:22):
41 days later, I actually dropped my wife off to
go to a to Chicago airport tomeet me. I was supposed to meet
her a week later down inOklahoma City, after she was
having a breast reduction to getready for the big, wedding on
June 8th. She was down right inNorman, and, she went in to get
(02:46):
a procedure to have a a breastreduction surgery. And as I'm
landing to meet with her, I hadto make a stop in Austin. I got
a phone call that said, yourwife stopped breathing on the
table.
You need to get to Oklahoma. Andwhat's crazy is about God always
has when you're going throughsomething, it it's crazy how God
(03:07):
always equips you or put a ramin a bush, but you don't know it
till afterwards. You knowhindsight is always 2020. After,
you can sit back and look at thewhat happened. But there was a
guy on the plane that we talkedall the way home.
He owned a jet company flying onAmerican Airline. So when I got
to Austin, I couldn't find anyflights to get me to Oklahoma
(03:29):
when I got the news, but I hadthe guy's number in my pocket
that said if I need anything,just hit him up. I reached down,
called him. He said he didn'teven make it out the airport
yet. He said, Tommy, we got ajet waiting for you in Killeen
that'll take you right toOklahoma.
When I got here, it was,probably a couple days of
praying, fasting, hoping thatGod they had our own life
(03:51):
support. So just hoping that Godwould revive or or or do
something. So I labored forabout 3 days.
Ray (03:59):
And you you share in the book how, you know, your family
is really important to your mamaand your daddy, and you were
praying with her with your mama.
Tommie (04:07):
Yeah.
Ray (04:08):
And you really believed.
Tommie (04:09):
Oh, man. I believe this was I thought that was the
moment where God was gonna do,like you know, as a Christian,
you live for this. You know,Jesus raising people from the
dead. The water's opening andit's like, you all I kept saying
was, God, do it. I'm a tell theworld all about how good your
greatness is, your glory is.
And my mom started screaming andpraying, and the machine started
(04:33):
going crazy. So we thought wehad hope for a minute, and then
it all dissipated. And thenthat's when I finally told God,
I said, let your will be done.
Ray (04:42):
And then the amazing thing is and you'll read I don't wanna
give away all of the bookbecause you and Holden have done
a great job here, but, I cannotimagine what how he found out
about the ultimate situationwith Ashley. Tell him tell him
how you found out about herfinal passing.
Tommie (04:57):
Oh, I found out I was sitting, praying in the chapel,
and, my my the chapel wasadjacent from her room across
from, and I was sitting therepraying, and, Bill had just just
left out. And I was just quietto myself, and then he bust back
in. And he said, hey. Did yousee this? I said, see what?
(05:20):
And he showed on the Internetthat, All Crow, Tommy Harris'
wife, has just died of a brainaneurysm. So that's how I found
out what I was praying foracross the hall.
Ray (05:30):
Yeah. Can you imagine finding out here you are, a
public figure like this, and noone has the respect to to tell
you about your own wife passingand you find out in that way, I
mean, I just can't think ofsomething more terrible. One of
the things that I've I took awayfrom this book, Tommy, and, I'd
love to talk more about it atsome point, but you really kind
(05:50):
of found yourself drinking andreading your Bible. Drinking and
reading your Bible. And the Lordtook you to the book of Job.
Now, as if Ashley's passingwasn't enough, you I did not
know this until I read the book.It didn't stop there. Your life
(06:12):
did not get smooth.
Tommie (06:14):
No. No. I I end up, 4 years later, I end up getting
back in a relationship who I'mwith now, my fiancee. But, we
had a daughter. And, at 4months, we walked in the room,
and our daughter passed of SIDS,sudden infant death syndrome.
And I had a nanny that took careof all my kids, took care of
(06:37):
everybody, and she died fatallywith a head on collision. But
the book's not sad. Like, it itI know he died. She died. Like,
who wants to buy that?
Right? Check it out. Man, I I'mso grateful. Because I get
tired. I was like, I wouldn'twanna buy that.
Right? He died. She died. Likelike, Yeah. It gets better.
(07:01):
It's an it's an encouraging it'sencouraging at the end. I stick
to Landon at the end. Holden dida good job.
Ray (07:10):
But the bottom line is there's a lot of people they can
relate to. They're like, whereis God in all this? I mean,
you're you're trying to do itright. One of the things I love
about Tommy Harris, this dude isnot fake. And he'll tell you
straight up, I'm not perfect.
I'm not I don't have it alltogether. What I can't stand are
people that act like they got itall together. And what I respect
is a man that'll admit, you knowwhat? I'm a still work in
(07:32):
progress. But at the same time,you kinda think you're gonna get
some gimmes, you know.
You kinda think God's gonna giveyou give you some help, and and
the bottom line is, there's somepeople that helped you endure.
Yes. I mean, you talk about thethe value of the huddle in
chapter 4.
Tommie (07:48):
Yes, sir.
Ray (07:49):
Talk about that.
Tommie (07:49):
I mean, in the huddle?
Ray (07:50):
The huddle. I mean, in the huddle.
Tommie (07:51):
The huddle. The huddle. Yeah. The the huddle is, being
able to, surround yourself.Yourself.
I I used to all everyone wouldsay Tommy Harris has the fastest
get off in the NFL and he's thefastest, but I really wasn't. I
could just read lips. And if youdidn't close-up your huddle, I
heard you say on 1. I just readyour lips say on 2. So and the
(08:16):
greatest quarterbacks were TomBrady and Peyton Manning that
you could never get a snap countbecause they always huddled up
tight.
So I started to think the mostsuccessful guys in the league
really takes care of thehuddles. And God started working
with me on different levels ofbeing able to take terms from
football and put them in lifepractices. So I started to think
(08:39):
in business and raising afamily. If you're gonna win in
life's game, it's it's extremelyimportant to start deciding
who's in your huddle and whoyou're gonna win with. And a lot
of us aren't winning because wehaven't made a proper cut or
replaced something that has beenwell overdue.
So we just take the pain of,that's my guy, but we're not
(09:00):
winning with him. So I had tolearn to start deciding to make
cuts, to start seeing whatpeople in my lives I could keep,
what people weren't servicing meanymore, because I was tired of
being in a stagnant a stagnantplace. So I just started making
changes and cuts on my team.
Ray (09:17):
So one of the things that's real clear in your book is your
dad is important to you, yourcoaches are important to you.
Here's a look at this guy. Hisbook, he talked about getting
into counseling and trying toget through some of the issues
that you go through. I love whatyou said on page 6465. You said,
when you endure, you find thatyou aren't simply surviving, but
(09:38):
actually growing.
Go ahead.
Tommie (09:43):
So endure to me is like a call to action. So it's like
it's telling someone to to keepon. Like, I know it's tough
right now. I know it's hard.Right?
But you gotta keep pushing. AndI tell everyone, I never built a
muscle on my body. It didn'thurt me to do it. So it's times
in life where you're you'reunder some strain. You're under
(10:03):
some you're in an uncomfortableplace.
You're in a different place. Butthe truth is we're all
developing. Everyone that'sright here in front of you, we
are developing. It's moment byfrom today to tomorrow. If God
gives us another day, we aredeveloping.
And there's some people that Ihad to learn in my life that
some people will see you in yoursummertime. That's when
(10:23):
everything's going good and somesee people see you in your
spring when things are you yougetting everything you want, and
some people gonna see you whenyou're falling off. He's
changed. He gave his life toChrist. Now he's different.
He and some people see you inthe winter of your life where
you're in the worst positionyou've ever been in. But it's
being able to see it through allthe seasons, all the different
(10:45):
parts of your life throughthrough enduring it. Being able
to first say, this is the daythe lord has made. I will
rejoice and be glad in. I had tostart putting myself in that
practice every no matter howtough it is, how hard it is.
Okay. I said, thank you, God.For today? Okay. What am I gonna
be glad about?
My breath. He gave me breathtoday. He gave me life. No
(11:06):
matter what the outsidecircumstances present, I've
already given God what he'sgiven me, and I said thank you.
I'm grateful to be here.
Ray (11:14):
Man, that's awesome, isn't it? That's that's awesome. You
quote John f Kennedy in thebook, and the former president
says, do not pray for easylives. Pray to be strong, man. I
think that's what your life isbeginning to represent.
And then you you say at the endof the chapter, you say, rather
than looking for the easy wayout, look for the growth way
(11:39):
out. You tell a story and I'vebeen in that stadium and I'll be
there on Saturday. And you talkabout the guys that were called
to run the stadium. And therewas a way to make it easy. Tell
that story.
Tommie (11:53):
Right. And which one?
Ray (11:55):
The one about where you guys are and you get called out.
You're supposed to run up thesteps to the top of the stadium
and run back down, but some ofthe guys figured out Oh, yeah.
Tommie (12:03):
Yeah. But I wasn't allowed
Ray (12:04):
to do it. Yeah.
Tommie (12:05):
Like, I'm telling you, for real when when you're at the
university and you're a certaincaliber, they don't play with
you. Like, I I had to always bethe example, so I couldn't
cheat. I wanted to do some ofthe things that some of the guys
got away with, but I couldn'teven tell either. But we had
some guys we would have to runall the way up to the top of the
stadium on the ramp, that bigramp all the way to the top. We
(12:28):
had 14 seconds to get up, and wehad 20 seconds to get down.
A lot of guys I mean, my wholecrew my 3 years at OU, I never
cheat that drill one time. Butevery I see guys take that they
knew how to get on thatelevator.
Ray (12:44):
And and and it would
Tommie (12:46):
kill me every year. Like, I wanna tell so bad on you
guys, but I I never but it it italways gave me the like, I end
up doing well at the endfinishing off and doing. But it
just showed you how hard hardwork really works. And no matter
how enticing it looks to take ashortcut, it it it's not gonna
(13:07):
help you in that long run. So weHolden did such an incredible
job putting a lot of thesestories together.
All I did have to all I did wassit back and talk and hold and
just you know? So, I mean, he'sdone a we have so many stories
in there, but that's one of theones just not taking the
shortcut. Just just seeing itthrough to the end.
Ray (13:26):
What he's really telling you is he's a man of integrity.
And that's what a real leader islike. They have integrity. Have
you ever heard the line,integrity is doing what you're
supposed to do when no one'slooking? But you know what?
Integrity is doing it no matterif they're looking or not. It's
all the time. And this is a manof integrity. So, Tommy, this is
(13:47):
the this is the punch line. Howmany of those guys that took the
elevator made it into the NFL?
Who? Who? We're not gonna askfor names. Well, you know what?
We have just a little bit moretime, but there's a couple of
(14:09):
things I want to talk about.
One of the things that I'velearned from reading this book,
and folks, they made thisaffordable. You can get it. You
need to get a copy of this book.It's out there tonight. He's
gonna be signing copies as well,but here's here's what I I'm
gonna tell you what I got out ofit.
Not only did I get endure out ofit. That is clear. That's who
you are. Ami Harris, look it upin the dictionary. Endure.
(14:30):
But what I also figured out byreading this book is that I
learned that God doesn't wastepain.
Tommie (14:36):
Every pain has purpose. That is that's that's and it's
difficult to hindsight, I cansay that. Now while you're under
pain, you don't everybody wantspain to stop. But when you know
that you're a believer and youtrust God, that God would never
leave you nor forsake you.Never.
He promises that he'll neverleave you nor forsake you. And
(14:57):
I've always been into the placethat, God, if you trust me with
this, I'm I'm gonna go throughit. It does not matter what
circumstances set up. I can'tquit. I have to see it through
to the end, endure to the end.
And the Bible says that he thatendureth to the end. So this is
daily a process for believers tocommit themselves to never
(15:18):
quitting. I don't I don't careif you get a divorce, if your
finance changes, your money.That your that's not predicated
on your circumstances is notpredicated on your salvation.
Your salvation is what you oweGod.
That that's that's you livingdaily and getting back up again.
Start yes. You're gonna fall.Get back up. Let's go.
I've seen a kid out there. Hefell on the ground and sat down.
(15:39):
I said, no. Don't stay there.Hot stove.
Ray (15:41):
You gotta bounce up. You
Tommie (15:43):
gotta bounce up. So whoever if you're if you're ever
in a down position, down place,always remember, man, this is
the day the Lord has made. Andour job is to rejoice and be
glad. And even when it's tough,the climate right now, if you
feel the social climate,everybody's kind of morale is
we're trying to force back thisnew normal and thrive in this
new normal, but it's encouragingpeople. Every day, I told I told
(16:07):
Texas went and put up theeveryone can have a gun.
Yeah. They're gonna startselling bullets in the gas
station. So I I said, man, we'rein such a climate now that
everybody needs to just love onone another. And I had a friend
in Texas, 2 days ago. He'ssitting at a red light.
He just the light went green. Hejust laid on. I said, no, man.
(16:28):
Texas just everybody carry a gunhere. You can't be doing that in
Texas.
So it's just it's just learningthe climate like like being that
that that fresh air that thatthat that thing that makes a
room better when you walk intoit or being able to fake a smile
until it becomes real or askingsomeone, how you doing today?
(16:50):
You doing alright? We're we'rein such this bubble right now
that people really need to feelthe presence of God. Godly
people has not weighed down withall their struggles, all this
stuff. That stuff is gonna bethere.
We can't do nothing about thatbut believe God. And that's all
I do. That's my message toendure this thing to the end.
Hope it encourages everyonehere.
Ray (17:10):
Yeah. You bet, man. That's awesome. Well, I want to close I
want to close on something wewant to make you aware of. One
of the things that I think thatGod has done by using Tommy's
pain, he was already doing it.
He continues to do it. He has aheart for Africa and the African
people. And one of the thingsthat he has decided to do is
(17:31):
that he wants to build a schoolin honor of his late wife,
Ashley. And they were going todo it in Sudan. Things are crazy
there.
We've got some friends in Ugandathat we both know. We decided to
put together the schooltogether. Cedar Gate Publishing
is going to be a part of it.Several others are gonna be a
part of it. They're they'recoming on board with us.
But we're gonna build a schoolin honor of Ashley Harris. It's
(17:53):
gonna be called the AshleyHarris Sunshine School. There's
some information on your tableabout it. I know nothing would
clear you more than to know thepeople in Yukon got behind you
and supported this school. Do wehave that slide?
Yeah. There it is. As you cansee on the slide there, there's
this is a little Ugandan girl.Tommy and I have been to this
(18:14):
school. This is what it lookslike now.
There's a picture of Ashley. Onthe left down here, Brian and
Marla have seen this school. Andthis is where it's going. This
is the progress and Tommy wantsto build and finish this school
in honor of Ashley. And we'regoing to call it the Ashley
Harris sun Sunshine School inJinze, Uganda.
And at some point, we're gonnago over and celebrate, maybe you
can go with us. Anything youwanna say about it?
Tommie (18:35):
Come on out. Thank you. Thank you.
Ray (18:40):
Alright. One last thing and we gotta wrap this thing up.
I've I made a discovery. Ididn't know this. Bill Horn is,
a guy who's been runningalongside, Tommy for a long
time.
Tommy tipped his hand with meone day and showed me, he said,
I want to tell you a story. Hesaid, Tommy was at a kind of an
expedition game down in Dallasand was cleaning up after the
(19:01):
game and started singing in theshower. And there were some
country and western guys there,Toby Keith and some others. And
they're all like, who's thatdude singing in the shower?
Who's singing in the shower?
No. You Tommy. Yeah. It's me,man. Well, I find out they they
love they love his voice.
They said, you gotta come toNashville.
Tommie (19:20):
I thought they were playing around. I thought they
were pumping me up, but I end updoing it.
Ray (19:25):
You did. And he end up this is I love the way it sound. He
end up writing a song in prison.Yes, sir. Oh, yeah.
Tell me a little bit about that.So I
Tommie (19:34):
end up writing a song in prison. It's a it's a punchline.
I ended up writing a song inprison with Billy Dawson and,
they have a foundation calledthe Beat of Life where all the
country singers go there andthey write songs with inmates.
So while we were in there, wejust had time and and songs were
just flowing everywhere. I said,I done wrote 3 songs in prison.
(19:58):
So so that's my story aboutthat. We were in a Nashville
prison, but just being able tosit and write all these
different tunes, Billy Dawsonleaned over to me while we were
having a break. And he said,Tommy, he said, man, like, I see
you I see you around and you andyou're looking like you.
Sometimes I see you check outand you check he said, how you
(20:19):
really feel? And I said, to behonest, Billy, I feel deflated.
And he said, say that again? Isaid, I feel deflated. What else
you feel? Is it? So so fromright then on, we we just
started putting it together, andthen I did another song with
Rivers Rutherford.
He just went to the country hallof fame. But it was just great
(20:42):
to be able to go out there, andI'm I'm just living, trying
trying different things.
Ray (20:47):
So would you give Tommy Harris a round of applause? I
mean, come on. We're glad thatyou've endured. I can I can set
it up, but you guys are gettingready to see something really
special? We're getting ready toshow you he made a music video.
You wanna tell me anything aboutit before we play it?
Tommie (21:07):
I didn't know. Yeah. I was good. Which one is this?
Ray (21:10):
It's deflated.
Tommie (21:11):
Yeah. So deflated was, just just moments of it's that
silent pause or that in thatmoment of where you feel like
you don't have all the answers,everything in your world is just
shattered. That news you justbut God comes and give breath
back to a flat line situation.But God comes and give breath
back to a a flat line situationthat you thought was over. And
(21:33):
you get to see a new side of Godin trouble.
So I'm not begging people to goget in life, but it's just the
perspective that I had that Igot to see another side of God
through my suffering, mystruggles.
Ray (21:45):
So, folks, we're gonna present to you not only an 8
year NFL star, pro bowler, VinceLombardi award winner. We're now
gonna present to you country andwestern star, Tommy Harris.
Tommie (21:58):
Roll the
Ray (21:59):
table, boys. Thanks, Tommy.
Tommie (22:00):
Thank you. I put on my wife, and I couldn't save her at
28, and that monitor where shewas breathing through, and I
calculated all the money I had.And I looked at her, and it
couldn't save it, all the valueof that dollar said it ain't I
really know what value is. At845, I was flying high on an
(22:41):
airplane. Then I got takes a manto stand down
Ray (26:53):
I sure hope you enjoyed today's program with special
guest, Tommy Harris. You know,you can get a copy of Tommy's
book, Endure, by visitingthecedargate.comforward/tommyharris.
That's thecedargate.com forwardslash Tommy Harris. Now don't
forget, you have to spell hisname, tommie.
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