151 - We have to be able to make decisions for ourselves! - Real Recovery Talk

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151 - We have to be able to make decisions for ourselves!

September 3, 2020 • 30 mins

In today's episode, Ben and I discuss the turning point when a newly sober client can start to make decisions for themselves. In the beginning, the person in recovery will be assigned a sponsor who is there for support and answering questions. Along the process, there's become a point in time that the person who is healing needs to become more independent and start to create change for themselves.

Working with thousands of people through the recovery process, Ben and I see many different cases. We receive feedback from clients and become a sounding board for those in recovery. A vast majority of the time, we will confirm that the sponsor gives the patient sound advice. However, the individual moving through the healing process needs to take the responsibility of making their own decisions.

Even though Ben is almost ten years sober, he still utilizes his support circle when he is in a challenging situation or bad day. In the end, Ben makes his own decisions for himself, but having a good, solid support group to assist you in your decision making is very important to stay on your path of sobriety.

A sponsor's responsibility is no longer just taking someone through the steps. A client is calling with many different issues for advice from their sponsor. There is a progression of questioning where at first, clients are asking for almost anything. However, there should be situations where someone can take an independent step on their own. Growth will enable someone to become an independent decision-maker.

Developing a GOD Power or the ability to deliver Good Orderly Direction gives you the ability to consciously figuring out problems on your own. By taking inventory of your behaviors, through the practice of working the program, and learning how to make situations right, you develop your skills to become an independent person.

At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being.

Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery.

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Show Notes:

[03:45] Ben’s experiences with clients who want to rely solely on their sponsor for help.
[06:55] When you should be making your own decisions and not relying on someone else to make your decisions for you.
[08:20] Ben and his sponsor relationship.
[09:40] An example of bouncing ideas off of a sponsor for advice.
[13:19] A sponsor’s responsibility to their charge.
[14:33] Dating another person who is going through recovery.
[15:37] The progression scale of learning how to become an independent decision maker.
[17:35] Developing GOD Power - Good Orderly Direction.
[18:32] Step ten of the 12 Step Program.
[19:57] The importance of having a clear outcome.
[21:10] Looking at failure as an opportunity to learn.
[22:04] Giving sober supports too much power in your life.
[25:17] Sponsors need to give their charges the opportunity to have experiences in life.