A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do?
A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through his girlfriend. The group has a charismatic "queen bee" leader. When he started seeing a 20 year-old woman, and told the queen bee about it, he was summarily ejected from the group. Now no one will talk to him. What did he do to deserve this?
On the Magnum, a woman sometimes cries when she has an orgasm. It feels fine to her, and she's had no sexual abuse in her past. But her friends insist she must have repressed trauma. Dan brings on Jena Martin, host and creator of the Memory Hole Podcast, a series that looks back at the recovered memory movement and how false memories are still commonly accepted. Are memories "etched into our physiology?" Well, no actually.
And, a 40 year-old woman came out as queer and pan one year ago. But she has never dated women, and her experience with women is limited to some hazy, drunken college nights. Now, she wants to try women again, but finds them too soft and tender. What she really likes, is when the dude she's seeing rails her. So is she even queer?
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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From breaking up to barebacking, cuckolding to cunnilingus and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, and you damn well know it.