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September 23, 2025 54 mins
Enter to win a free Magnum subscription at savage.love/survey A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and our) question is: What is wrong with these people??!! How can she get them to stop, and consider how misogynist this is? Our guest this week is Elise Loehnen, the New York Times bestselling author of "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good." She is also the host of the podcast, "Pulling the Thread." She and Dan talk about the role that envy plays in the scrutiny of women, slut shaming, lust, and how to work on our relationships with right-wingers. They had a lot to talk about! Some of it is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum. A woman's new boyfriend was sexually abused by his previous girlfriend. He felt pressured by her to have sex, and it's resulted in his being unable to get hard for the caller. She worries her own excitement will be interpreted as pressure. How can they create safe, loving intimacy as he gets over the previous toxicity? This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Got a Q? Dan's got an A. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project and high-volume producer of cultural neologisms. Santorum, pegging, GGG, tolyamory, monogamish! Dan came up with them and Dan can take them away.
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