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October 15, 2025 54 mins
Delanie Fischer chats with John Wang, author of Big Asian Energy, about confidence, culture, and the power of conversation. They unpack how cultural conditioning, fear, and the desire to be "good enough” shape identity and self-worth. John shares the lessons he learned from his year-long experiment in radical honesty—during which he came clean to friends and family about past lies and committed to always speaking his mind in every interaction—and reflects on how this experience led to deeper connections and a new way of being. Discussed in this episode:  What Is Charisma, Gravitas, and Executive Presence?  Biases, Stereotypes, Discrimination, and Coded Language  Asian American Culture and the Workplace  Fear of Conflict, Confrontation, and Avoidance  The 1 Year of Radical Honesty Experiment 7 Adaptive Patterns: Achiever, Fixer, Chameleon, Charmer, Commander, Rebel, Invisible One  The Belief Behind Your Behavior and The Fear (and Illusion) of Death  Rejection as Redirection to Alignment + Finding Community and Belonging  The Achievement Monster & How To Get off the Treadmill  Internal vs. External Validation & When Affirmations Don’t Work (Try This) Self-Worth and Creating Your Own Metric for Success  High-Context vs. Low-Context Conversation  Self-Diminishment vs. Respecting Cultural Norms  The 6 Levels of Mitigating Language (Great for Baby Steps!) Saying No, Giving Direct Feedback & Becoming More Assertive  ---- If Self-Helpless has supported you in some way, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven't already) means so much!  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416 Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/ Ad-free episodes now available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com ---- Episodes related to this topic: “You’re So Sensitive”: Understanding Everyday Microaggressions, Implicit Bias, and Best Practices with Billie Lee & Dr. Gina Torino: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2396d366/youre-so-sensitive-understanding-everyday-microaggressions-implicit-bias-and-best-practices-with-billie-lee-and-dr-gina-torino How A Sexist Society Gets In Your Head (And How To Get It Out) with Kara Loewentheil: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23318969/how-a-sexist-society-gets-in-your-head-and-how-to-get-it-out-with-kara-loewentheil Why You Became A People-Pleaser: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/27c52c66/why-you-became-a-people-pleaser Mortality Awareness: Meaning, Motivation, and Your To-Die-For Life with Karen Salmansohn: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2367345e/mortality-awareness-meaning-motivation-and-your-to-die-for-life-with-karen-salmansohn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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