August 8, 2025 • 38 mins
Episode 236: 13 Lessons in 13 Years of Sobriety: Hard Truths, Healing, and Hope for Your Alcohol-Free Journey
In episode 236 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen talks about the 13 years of living alcohol-free. She has learned some powerful lessons about what it takes to get sober, stay sober, and thrive in your sober life.
Courtney is sharing her 13 biggest takeaways from her journey, truths she wishes she had known when she was starting out. Whether you’re sober curious, in your first year, or navigating the tricky space between year one and year two, these lessons will give you hope, direction, and practical strategies to keep moving forward.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why you don’t need to hit “rock bottom” to change your life
- The messy truth about slips and how to recover from them without shame
- How to rebuild trust with yourself after years of drinking
- Why the first year is so different from every year after
- The role of rest, forgiveness, and boundaries in lasting sobriety
- How to create a sober life you love (and don’t want to escape from)
Sobriety isn’t just about removing alcohol; it’s about building a life that feels full, free, and authentically yours. Courtney's hope is that these lessons give you the tools and inspiration to do just that.
Resources Mentioned:
PODCAST SPONSOR:
This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.
Sober Vibes listeners get $50 off their device!
Grab your discount here!
Hope this episode helps you today!
Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.
Connect w/ Courtney:
Instagram
Join the Sobriety Circle
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Courtney Andersen (00:31):
On August 18th I'll celebrate 13 years of
sobriety and today I'm sharingthe 13 biggest lessons I've
learned along the way.
Welcome back to the Sober VibesPodcast.
I'm your host and sober coach,courtney Anderson, and helping
you live a kick-ass life withoutalcohol.
You are listening to episode236.
So today we're talking about 13years of sobriety.
(00:54):
August 18th, I celebrate mysober anniversary, which is
really, you know, become when Iquit, starting on that first
year mark, one of my favoritedays of the year.
I like this day.
I like my sober birthday betterthan now my regular birthday.
Okay, you know, my son'sbirthday is my favorite day of
(01:15):
the year and this comes into aclose second.
So I want to share with youtoday, just kind of like
reflecting, and share 13 lessonsI've learned along the way,
because I think that these canhelp, especially too, especially
if you are in, if you're tryingto quit, or you're in those
(01:36):
first couple of years and,believe you me, when I
participated in AA, that veryshort period of time for those
first couple of weeks when I gotsober and I will never forget,
this man said he was like 10years sober and I was so riddled
with anxiety at this meeting.
I still remember this to thisday.
My jaw was almost on the groundbecause it's like how the hell
(02:00):
am I going to do this?
So if you're feeling that wayas you listen to this dude, I
get it, I totally get it.
It's overwhelming, especiallyin that beginning.
But after a couple of years youthen let's just say this okay,
after that fifth year, reallythat sixth year, then it just
(02:21):
becomes normal life.
Sixth year, then it justbecomes normal life.
Those first five years arereally, really, really you
building a new life for yourselfand getting comfortable in a
world that is full of alcoholand you getting comfortable in
your own skin and on the healingjourney and recovering from the
years of abusing your body.
(02:43):
That is simple facts.
And those first five years areearly sobriety, okay.
But so if you're in like thosefirst couple days, just know you
can get here too.
I would have, if you would havetold me that in those first you
know, those first couple years,those first couple months, that
I would have 13 years ofsobriety.
I would have kicked youstraight up.
(03:09):
So if you are new here and youhaven't heard my story, I'm just
going to recap it a little bit.
If not, you can go back to thevery first episode and listen to
the full report of my story.
I woke up that day.
I woke up on August 18th.
It was like many times before,in a 10-year period of alcohol
where I a relationship withalcohol where I woke up and I
(03:31):
was like still extremely drunk,didn't know what happened and I
was told that I had lost myrescue cat, fiona, for a second
time and my boyfriend at thetime he was not stoked, he was
very pissed and I was like no,no, no, she's fine.
A couple hours later I fullyget up and realized that my cat
(03:53):
was really gone and we could notfind her and that my boyfriend
at the time was like beyondpissed, okay, and that I that
evening apparently I threatenedhis life that we have a joke
about now, but it wasn't reallyfunny in those first couple of
years, okay, and that I thatevening apparently I threatened
his life that we have a jokeabout now, but it wasn't really
funny in those first couple ofyears.
Okay, you can't really jokewith your partner about
threatening their lives untilyears down the road.
(04:16):
So just an FYI, if that evercomes up, if you ever want to
make light of it with somebody.
So at that point you know hehad told me he was like, look,
you can continue on with this,but I am not going to stick
around.
He was like, again, you choosewhat you want to do, but if, if,
there's alcohol involved, I'mnot staying.
(04:37):
At that point man and I hadlived together for a.
We have been dating for a yearand a half and I think living
together at that point about ayear.
So I sat in a three-day hangover.
That was God awful, becausethere was so much shame.
And there was so much shamebecause it really was like a 10
year, like all 10 years reallytruly hit me because I felt so
(05:03):
bad about losing sweet Fiona fora second time and then having
Matt so upset because I know Ikid a lot and I like to laugh a
lot, but at that pointthreatening his life, it wasn't
funny in those couple of days,you know, and sitting in that
hangover, dry, heaving in ourguest bedroom just on the ground
(05:25):
and not giving a rip about itlike disgusting, that is pig
behavior.
So I finally found Fiona afterthe third day and it was like a
movie.
It was one of those timesyou'll hear a lot of people say
that they had like this moviemoment, almost, or this moment
(05:45):
that was so clear to them thatthey knew it was over.
And for me it was that when Ihad picked this cat up and she
was so scared, she peed on mewell-deserved.
And you know, before I evenfound her, in those three days,
I made a pact with the universeand I said you know, if I find
(06:05):
her, I'm going to quit drinkingfor good.
Because here's the thing I hadbeen trying to moderate my
drinking for four years prior tothat one moment.
So I had spent 10 years in arelationship with alcohol, was
addicted to alcohol, didconsider myself an alcoholic,
(06:25):
and but those four years it waswhen I hit 25, I had a moment
where I was like there's goingto be a day that I have to give
up drinking I don't know when, Idon't know how, but that was my
gut talking to me of like thisis going to happen, right.
And then, from four years, from25 to 29, that was really
trying to control something thatI had no control over.
(06:47):
And that is okay, because guesswhat?
As human beings, we do not havecontrol over everything, and I
think that's the biggestproblems with people like us,
people like you or me, and youand you're listening to this,
it's a control thing.
Listening to this, it's acontrol thing.
(07:10):
And once alcohol hit my lips, itwas like I felt that switch go
off in my brain and it was likelights out.
Regret my days drinking no,because 10% of the time I
actually had a really good timeand I wasn't blacking out and I
wasn't a pig person, and there'sa lot of memories I have that
drinking is associated with itand it's good.
So I will never not embrace thefull spectrum of it, because I
(07:36):
had some good times and to me,not embracing those bad times,
it wouldn't get me to the pointof where I am at today.
So I don't pretend like itnever happened.
I've spent years of therapy too, of dealing with some trauma
and getting to the place that Iam now.
But I want you to reallyunderstand that at 25, I knew it
(07:57):
and it wasn't like I'm going toquit drinking alcohol.
Today it's like, okay, let metry to put rules on this.
No shots right.
Like go a couple weeks withoutit to prove to yourself and
others like oh, that you canfunction and not be an animal.
But the point was that Icouldn't.
So when it got to August 17thand that was the last night I
(08:21):
was drinking, there was just nocontrol, even though I went into
that evening being like I won'tdo this, I won't do that, I
won't do that, okay, and I didall of those things and that was
the fallout right.
I truly do believe that youdon't know the last time that
you're going to drink until itwas the last time for you.
(08:41):
I'm sure a lot of people doplan it out, which is probably a
small percentage.
I'm sure there's a smallpercentage of people who are
like, okay, come December 31st,that's the last night of
drinking and then they made thathappen.
But I think for a large groupof people the numbers of it that
you don't know that's the lasttime you're gonna have to tell
(09:03):
alcohol until it's done.
And for me that was the lasttime because, even though I had
a bajillion episodes and quoteunquote rock bottoms that were
way worse, trust me, way worsethan me losing even though
losing your cat is really highup there on the D-bag list it's
(09:29):
still there was many worsethings that I had done.
Where that wasn't the moment, Ido believe that your rock
bottom moment is just that.
It's the moment that you'rejust like I'm done, I can't do
this anymore, and that is okay.
So for me, it was August, wakingup, august 18th.
Somebody asked me one timethey're like, do I count my
(09:50):
sober days?
Like the day I decide I'm notdrinking.
I'm like, oh no, please do itthe day after the night of
drinking and like that is yourday one, okay, cause I'm not
giving up those three days thatI spent in that guest bedroom
where I was dry, heaving on thefloor.
Those mattered, okay.
So, and here I am, 13 yearslater, and the one thing that is
(10:16):
always comes up for me thatwhen I reflect back in, and
every year on August 18th, whenI wake up that morning, clearly
I'm recording this before August18th, as you understand, the
date that it's released, but onAugust 18th I will always wake
up that morning and reflect backto me waking up 13 years ago
(10:39):
and where my life used to be.
Because I still at this pointof my life and will continue, I
will 100%, always keep ithumbled.
I will humble my ass througheach year, because for anybody,
(10:59):
nobody's got it like that andthat is why I like to humble
myself and remember where I camefrom and how I lived for 10
years, because that can how Ilive now can be easily taken
away, not saying that my needfor I don't have a need for
alcohol there, but I can't.
I don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow.
(11:20):
You know what I mean.
Like I don't know, nobody doesso, and people can get triggered
off.
I don't know Nobody does so andpeople can get triggered off of
.
You know life events.
It's happened.
We're human beings.
So I like to keep myself humbleand I recommend you doing the
same thing.
That's why I've always said,especially with clients, when I
(11:41):
work with them, it's like youhave got to remember where you
once were.
You don't need to live in it,but you have to remember where
alcohol took you, because onceyou get out of that cycle and
you're not drinking anymore,it's very easy to forget, and
that is why I've alwaysconnected with Courtney drinking
.
I've always continued toreconnect with that through the
(12:05):
years on anniversaries, toremember where I want to go,
okay.
So these are the 13 lessons Iwanted to share with you today.
I will link the first episodein the show notes below, and two
you can hear how the SoberVibes podcast has evolved,
because I was really nervouswhen I did that first episode.
So the 13 lessons Number one youdon't need to hit rock bottom
(12:28):
to change your life, you don't.
Okay, a lot of people thinkthat you do need, like, this
huge rock bottom.
Right, I told you I had rockbottoms before, but it wasn't
until this because it was like Iwas good and tired.
You can start this anytime, andfor a lot of people too, even
if you know that this is aproblem, okay that you know
(12:51):
drinking is a problem.
You have got to at some pointstop it before it becomes a
bigger problem for you.
Truly, you have, and I willshare this story.
I had a person reach out.
We did a consult.
She wanted to end up doingone-on-one coaching.
She reached out and then acouple days later had gotten a
(13:15):
DUI.
Like that is the type of stuffthat I'm talking about, because
DUIs are life ruiners.
They're a changer to your life,right, and whether you end up
hurting somebody, hurtingyourself, or then you're stuck
in that court system and thenhaving that on your record for
the rest of your life, not tomention the guilt that you would
(13:36):
feel for it.
So you've got to take thecontrol now before it gets way,
way, way worse for yourself andit's going to get way, way, way
worse for yourself and it'sgoing to get way, way, way worse
for anybody.
So you might think right nowlike, well, it's not that bad,
well, where could it go to?
Okay, because nobody who is.
(13:58):
If you were questioning yourdream, you're not listening to
sober podcasts and followingsober accounts.
If you're, if you don't have aproblem, truly you're not,
unless you're somebody who'slistening because you have a
loved one who has a problem,okay.
But like, in reality, if you'repressing, play on this today,
there has been an issue and it'sokay because alcohol is a
(14:20):
highly addictive substance.
All right, nobody, nobody isprotected from it.
So stop it before it gets worse.
Number two the first year is atotal rebirth, so you need to
treat yourself with grace.
I can't even tell you how manytimes I have said this, but it's
like that first year you are anewborn baby inside Insert
(14:46):
whatever age you are body.
So when I quit drinking, I was29.
I was like six weeks shy ofbeing 30, right.
So when I came out of that andentering in my 30s, I'm like I
felt like a tiny tot.
I was a person where I feltlike a baby, where then I had to
relearn how to live.
(15:07):
Right, and you're becomingsomebody new in who, in yourself
.
Right, this is a whole newidentity shift as well.
It's not just like oh, courtneyquit drinking.
It was like, no, courtney quitdrinking and then needed to
figure out how to live withoutalcohol and then had to grieve
her old self and then to had tocome into this new identity.
(15:29):
There's a lot that goes on.
So you don't need to be perfectthat year.
You don't need to beat yourselfup.
If you need a effing cupcake,eat the cupcake, okay.
You don't need to beat yourselfup.
If you need a effing cupcake,eat the cupcake, okay.
You don't need to beat yourselfup if you're not working out
yet, like, it will all come intime.
Trust me when I say that itwill come in time.
When you are ready to take onthe next thing.
(15:51):
Some days, especially thatfirst year, it is like man, I
just got to breathe today andbrush my teeth and watch some
shows and that is all you'regoing to do some days, and that
is okay.
You are not a machine, so bepatient with yourself.
Number three slips don't equalfailure.
They reveal what needs to bemore.
(16:15):
Okay, and when I say that it'sreally like it needs, you need
to figure out with the slipswhat do I need more of?
Sometimes it's good you can'tdo it all on your own and you
can't put that much pressure tohave it do it on your own,
especially with this.
The more you get around peoplewho understand it, the more it
will help you.
Or were you hanging out withsomebody that it's just when the
(16:38):
slip happens?
I'm just giving examples.
Were you hanging out withsomebody that it's just when the
slip happens?
I'm just giving you examples.
Were you hanging out withsomebody who is maybe not such a
good influence on you?
And everybody has those friendswhere it's I get into trouble
with her Maybe.
I just need to take a pause fora few, right?
So you really got to look atthose slips as lessons and you
will continue to learn from them.
Hey, good people of the world,it's Courtney, and if you're in
(17:08):
your first year or your fifthyear of sobriety, let's be real.
Summers can be tough, like avery, very, very challenging.
It took me a couple summers tofinally feel comfortable.
There's something about warmweather parties and poolside
drinks that can make it feellike everybody's drinking but
you.
But just because drinkingculture ramps up, especially
during this time, doesn't meanyour progress has to slow down.
(17:28):
That's where a tool likeSoberLink can help.
It's a high-tech breathalyzerthat helps people in recovery
stay accountable, not throughshame, but through structure,
scheduled daily tests.
Let you share instant, verifiedresults with the people who
support you, so you don't haveto do it alone, worried someone
might question your results.
(17:48):
They can't, because Soberlinkuses facial recognition and
tamper detection, so there's noway to cheat it.
Whether you're rebuilding trustor you just want that extra
layer of support this summer,soberlink is here to help you
stay the course of your journey.
I've witnessed people benefitfrom Soberlink and I want you to
(18:09):
be the next.
Visit wwwsoberlinkcom.
Forward slash sober dash vibesto sign up and receive 50% off
your device today.
You can also check the link inthe show notes below Number four
loneliness fades, but communitymust be built.
(18:30):
So this is what I'm saying andthis is why I have these kind of
back to back.
No one is going to magicallysave you, but you.
So this is where, again, yousaving yourself and then
building a community of peoplearound you who get it is going
to be one of the most helpfulthings that you can do, even if
that's just.
(18:50):
You have a girlfriend who quitdrinking a couple years prior to
you.
You go to AA meetings.
You join an online supportgroup, like just people around
who can uplift and support you.
Number five you'll feeleverything you've numbed.
Get ready, and I say that withlove, but that's okay.
(19:12):
You have to remember you'vebeen numbing stuff for years
with alcohol.
So this is a good thing.
That's happening.
It's coming to the surface.
It means that you are a humanbeing in your healing.
I want to tell you too when yougo through a healing process,
it is very common to want to goinward and to get quiet and you
(19:33):
might not be interested in someof the things that you once were
, and that's okay, becausethat's again part of the process
.
Number six you can be sober andit'd be fun.
Can you believe that?
I can, because I'm fun.
So you really have to ditchthis mindset of sober is boring.
You just don't see a differentside because you haven't crossed
(19:57):
that yet and you probablythought for a very long time
that being sober was boring.
I did.
I did that ass.
I did where I'm like, oh, whatdo you do?
And then it wasn't until I gotinto it and then had people ask
me what I did for fun, where Iwas like, oh, okay, I get it,
because when you're sohyper-focused on something and
(20:18):
that's all that is, it is aboutyour life Then.
Or if you need that to go outsocially and like that's how you
have fun socially, you're goingto be in that mindset forever.
But there is plenty of funthings to do.
This really does come down tomindset and you have to keep
remembering to yourself.
It's like are hangovers fun atthis point anymore?
(20:39):
After 40, right?
Like, is the shame cycle funafter a couple days?
Like, no, is not remembering aconcert fun?
It's not.
These are all things that.
It's just like it was a lie,like alcohol is one big fat Liar
liar pants on fire.
But this is where you willstart seeing the more sober days
(21:02):
you do have and the more you goout there and experience life
where you're like, oh, that wasa good time and I didn't need a
drink for it.
Seven triggers can change overtime, so you must use your
coping tools.
Okay, and the triggers you haveat day one are going to be
totally different than thetriggers you have at, like, year
(21:23):
three.
And what worked for you in yearone with the tools might not
serve you at year five.
So for me, this is why I hadalways as part two.
This is why I had always aspart two.
(21:44):
I never, even to this day, at13 years, I have always sought
out help outside of myself, andthat's what I recommend for
anyone listening to this.
Now that help can lookdifferent.
That help could look like okay,you did AA for a couple of
years and now you want to moveon.
Maybe you wanted to do a sobercoach in the beginning and then
you wanted to go explore AA.
Maybe that's looking at atherapist or a life coach or
(22:04):
group.
It all looks different toeverybody.
But continuously, I'm notsaying get help for yourself
every day, but in pockets oftime when you need that help,
explore new health options ornew help options.
Number eight there's no oneright way to recover.
There's just not, andespecially in 2025.
(22:27):
Now there's so many options toget help, all right.
So the only right way torecover is the way that works
for you.
So you have to choose whatempowers you, and you're not
doing sobriety wrong if you arenot going to meetings, or if you
(22:47):
were California sober, that, orif you're on antidepressants,
you're not doing sobriety wrong.
I am one for harm reduction.
So whatever again works for youto get you to that point of if
your drug of choice is alcoholand that is you're not having a
good time with that anymore,then you figure out what works.
(23:09):
You can also, too, grab my book, because if you're in the first
30 days or the first couplemonths or trying to quit
drinking, a lot of my book isset up for you to figure out
what works best for you alongthe process.
Number nine forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness is key.
(23:30):
I know it's going to take along time, but you have to put
that practice in a little eachday.
There's on my Sober VibesInstagram account.
There's have to put thatpractice in a little each day.
There's my Sober VibesInstagram account.
There's one board that Irecycle quite a bit and I want
you to use it more of as anaffirmation I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for taking solong to give up alcohol and
(23:55):
something like that.
I'll put the quote I made in theshow notes, but you have to use
it like an affirmation and evenif you say it, because you get
to a point in your sobrietyjourney where you're like, man,
I wish I would have done thissooner, but that sooner version
of you would not have quit,because maybe you've tried to
quit at 35, but now you're 45and you're like, okay, I'm done
(24:20):
and you've.
You now have six months andyou're just like.
You go through that.
That's where that's a littlebit of like the grieving process
, because you'll you'll feel sadat moments where it's like, oh,
you know, especially as you getolder, you realize how
important time is.
You start looking at timedifferently.
When I had the dictator, likeday two, it was like the thought
(24:46):
, the time, time as a whole wasso different for me once I had a
kid.
So just know that that pastversion of yourself wouldn't
have stopped and you stoppedwhen it was time for you to stop
.
So keep forgiving yourself,okay.
(25:07):
And two for the actions ifthere's stuff that you need to
forgive yourself, work throughthat and you will be able to get
past it.
Number 10, the people who don'tget it aren't your people.
Bottom line you don't need toexplain anybody your healing
journey.
You don't need to explainanybody to why you quit drinking
(25:27):
.
If they don't get it, theydon't get it, and it's not on us
to make anybody get it.
They get it or they don't.
And the people who are like, oh, that's awesome and are there
to support you, let them supportyou and lean into those people.
Eleven, rest is not laziness, itis required.
Too many of us beat ourselvesup for needing to take 30
(25:50):
minutes or an hour to recoupsome energy, especially to when
you get sober, you're going tostart realizing what type of
person you are.
Especially, too, when you getsober, you're going to start
realizing what type of personyou are, and when I'm talking
about the introvert,extrovertness if you're a highly
sensitive person, you need moreof that rest.
A lot of people, too.
(26:11):
You walk a fine line of beingan extrovert, introvert, okay,
and so then you need to rechargeyourself.
Like quitting drinking, becauseyou go through that detox
period and because everything isso heightened, is very easy to
get tired and be tired.
So allow yourself that rest.
(26:32):
I love a good rest.
I love towel time, and that, tome, rejuvenates my soul.
If you do not know what toweltime is, it is you get out of
the shower with your towel onyour head and then you just go
lay in your bed and stare up atthe ceiling oh man, anyone else,
borderline, sociopath but it'sjust, it's rejuvenating and it's
(26:54):
resting and that is justsomething I love to do.
I don't get it as often butthat, to me, if I get one hour
of towel time, it is like sixmonths worth of rest.
It's really it.
And don't get on your phone,just sit there and let yourself
(27:15):
rest.
Plus, you're coming out of theshower too, so you're in a more
relaxed state, but just know youcan rest.
Plus, you're coming out of theshower too, so you're in a more
relaxed state, but just know youcan rest.
Rest is doing something andyour body needs it.
Your nervous system needs it,and it will also help you get
more comfortable in your skinwhere you're not don't feel like
you need to be walking aroundyour house all the time, or
where, like you, can finally sitdown and watch a movie.
Number 12,.
(27:35):
Alcohol wasn't the problem, itwas the solution.
Right, and you will understandthis until you build a life you
don't want to escape from, andthat's the whole thing.
There is a reason.
With alcohol, there's usually alot more going on underneath
(27:57):
the surface, right Of why, thenwe drink to begin with right,
and on the same side of that too, it's we drink to cope.
But then it also becomes thisawful habit.
But there's a lot of issuesthat you want to bury down and
drink to escape.
So when you get into the soberspace and start creating this
(28:22):
new life for yourself, you arenot going to want to escape from
it.
And that is facts.
Again, you could have told me atday 30, like, do you you're
going to want to escape fromyour life in 13 years?
Like no, and it takes some timeto build that and to get
comfortable with yourself.
And it's not going to happenwithin those first six months of
(28:43):
sobriety.
So that's where you got to pullthe reins a little bit and pump
the brakes of.
You don't need to be at thiscertain place by six months If
you're not feeling good yet.
That's okay, it's going to comeon your timing.
You can't rush it and stopcomparing yourself to others and
just know you will get there.
(29:05):
And the sobriety thing too,it's not you don't arrive at
this destination.
It's like you arrive at littlestations along the way of this
journey Okay, or it's oh, okay.
And there might be something Imight say in one of these
podcast episodes where then,five years down the road, you're
like, oh, I get what she'stalking about.
(29:26):
I remember her talking aboutthis when I used to listen, or
listen to her show early on.
Right, I remember this and nowI can apply it and it makes
sense because a lot of what Ispeak about it's really speaking
to you quitting, and up untilthose five years and like again,
(29:46):
I'm great If you graduate fromthis podcast for five, feel
goodbye.
I hope it helps.
I don't want you listening tome forever.
I don't.
I want you to go out andexplore new things and I want
you to take this.
You need it.
You know what I mean.
So, cause I don't ever wantanybody to go through that
(30:08):
recovery, burnout, becausethat's real, that sobriety
burnout's real and then you endup resenting people and being
like F you and then pushing itaway.
You know, and I don't ever wantanybody to think of this space
like that.
So, again, that is why Isuggest listening to other
podcasts.
(30:29):
I suggest listening to otherpodcasts outside of the sober
space and really focus onpodcasts too, if you're looking
more of that personaldevelopment, self-help, of stuff
that you need help with.
So, obviously, yes, sobriety,but then if there's like an
anxiety issue, then startlistening about anxiety and how
you can start focusing on howyou can help yourself more of
(30:49):
that.
Right?
Number 13, you are allowed tobe proud of who you become and
celebrate your milestones.
Celebrate it every day, even ifthat's just giving yourself a
pat on the back, because youdeserve that, and a person who
doesn't have an issue withalcohol doesn't understand how
hard this is.
(31:09):
So give yourself a pat on theback.
Say that you're proud ofyourself, even if you are five
years in, like, yeah, that youdid this, amazing, and keep
going with it.
You know, and that's the thing.
That's the thing.
It gets to a point where it'seventually just like your way of
(31:31):
your default mode doesn't evengo into like I want to drink.
It goes into.
I need to go home and take awalk.
I need to go home and getmyself into bed early because I
just need a good night's sleep.
I need to go home and put on myred light therapy mask and read
my book.
I need to go home and eat acupcake.
(31:52):
I need to go home and drinkfour Waterloos back to back.
It doesn't even go to.
I need a drink.
It just doesn't.
Because you just start livingand, like I said, you just start
to live and not like you know,I'm living this sober life.
(32:13):
It's just I'm living, you know,and that will happen for you.
So I want to thank you all andfor me, when it comes back to
thinking about that, because Iwas just in that thought, when I
think of that, it's like mylife is a complete 180.
And for the Courtney who was inthis addiction with alcohol,
(32:42):
looking back at her it makes mesad, right, because that
Courtney didn't want to live.
And that former version ofmyself God, I hate talking like
this, but I hate that Courtney,but that former version of
myself.
I still get sad for that girlfrom time to time Because there
(33:03):
was a couple times that I didn'twant to live.
My drinking was led me down apath of.
I don't think I would be heretoday if I would have kept
drinking alcohol and it's noteven like now.
You just know people who falland hit their heads and end up
in comas and don't make it out,or people who drink and then
(33:28):
where it completely takes overand there's no turning back for
them.
So I am just very, verygrateful to be here with where
I'm at now and actually trulyloving myself, and not to be in
a place of desperation, becausethat's what that was for so many
years of just desperation andbeing stuck and not being free.
(33:53):
And, as cheesy as it sounds,that is a true freedom.
When you stop drinking and whenyou get out of that cycle, that
cycle and like, once you getout of it, just stay out of it,
because it is going to get somuch harder for you to keep
(34:15):
going back and then detoxing andthen a couple months later
getting back, because therecould be a point where you go
back to drinking and you don'tcome back from it.
And especially to the older weget, it's going to just get
harder and harder.
So once you stay out of it,just stay out of it and connect
(34:35):
again, figure out what type ofhelp you need.
You have to remember your whythat yes, it is worth living and
to give sobriety as manychances as you gave alcohol.
And so when people are like, oh, would you ever go back to
drinking or could you just haveone, like now and it's like,
I've thought of it, like could I?
But I'm like, no, I didn't know, because I don't even one, I
(35:00):
wouldn't even want to risk thatright.
And two, I don't have it in meto do another day one, that was
not a joyous time.
It's not a joyous time foranybody.
I don't even care if you getthe pink cloud.
Once you get out of it, stayout of it, because nothing good
is going to happen when youdrink alcohol again.
(35:23):
It's just going to go byquicker and you're going to end
up being like how did I get backto this point?
I've seen it.
I've seen it a thousand times.
For four years I tried tocontrol something that again was
uncontrollable and it's justnot worth it, especially to when
(35:43):
you start feeling some good inyour life.
You know that's another topicfor another day with the
self-sabotage, but, like whenyou start feeling good, you
deserve that good and ride thatout and continuing because it's
just going to get better andbetter and better.
So thank you so much for tuninginto the Silver Vibes podcast.
(36:06):
So, thank you so much fortuning into the Silver Vibes
podcast.
I'm just very, I feel verygrateful to be here and to turn
13.
I truly, truly, truly do fromthe bottom of my heart, and it's
just.
It's a good place to be, as inliving life without alcohol,
(36:27):
it's a good place to be, as inliving life without alcohol,
it's a good place to be.
So, again, thank you forlistening.
If you haven't yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the
show.
Always feel free to reach out tome on Sober Vibes, on my
Instagram page, sober Vibes, oryou can shoot me an email.
So if you're just starting outor you're somewhere in the messy
(36:48):
middle, know this Again.
I've been where you are and Iso remember those days and
understand what it feels like tobe there.
I get it.
So if you're craving guidance,support and tools to build your
sober life, come hang with meinside the sobriety circle.
Or feel free to book a soberbreakthrough session so you
(37:10):
don't have to do this alone.
And two there just might besomething that could you know
inside my programs, help youmore in your sober journey.
Or like especially two for mysober breakthrough sessions to
kind of get you unstuck ofhaving somebody kind of look
outside of what's been going onwith why you keep going back A
(37:33):
lot of people.
It comes down to self-sabotage.
It truly does, because youdon't feel like you're worth
that good feeling like I wasdescribing.
So I will put the links in theshow notes below.
Again, thank you for listeningand keep on trucking and stay
safe out there.
On August 18th I'll celebrate 13 years of
sobriety and today I'm sharingthe 13 biggest lessons I've
learned along the way.
Welcome back to the Sober VibesPodcast.
I'm your host and sober coach,courtney Anderson, and helping
you live a kick-ass life withoutalcohol.
You are listening to episode236.
So today we're talking about 13years of sobriety.
(00:54):
August 18th, I celebrate mysober anniversary, which is
really, you know, become when Iquit, starting on that first
year mark, one of my favoritedays of the year.
I like this day.
I like my sober birthday betterthan now my regular birthday.
Okay, you know, my son'sbirthday is my favorite day of
(01:15):
the year and this comes into aclose second.
So I want to share with youtoday, just kind of like
reflecting, and share 13 lessonsI've learned along the way,
because I think that these canhelp, especially too, especially
if you are in, if you're tryingto quit, or you're in those
(01:36):
first couple of years and,believe you me, when I
participated in AA, that veryshort period of time for those
first couple of weeks when I gotsober and I will never forget,
this man said he was like 10years sober and I was so riddled
with anxiety at this meeting.
I still remember this to thisday.
My jaw was almost on the groundbecause it's like how the hell
(02:00):
am I going to do this?
So if you're feeling that wayas you listen to this dude, I
get it, I totally get it.
It's overwhelming, especiallyin that beginning.
But after a couple of years youthen let's just say this okay,
after that fifth year, reallythat sixth year, then it just
(02:21):
becomes normal life.
Sixth year, then it justbecomes normal life.
Those first five years arereally, really, really you
building a new life for yourselfand getting comfortable in a
world that is full of alcoholand you getting comfortable in
your own skin and on the healingjourney and recovering from the
years of abusing your body.
(02:43):
That is simple facts.
And those first five years areearly sobriety, okay.
But so if you're in like thosefirst couple days, just know you
can get here too.
I would have, if you would havetold me that in those first you
know, those first couple years,those first couple months, that
I would have 13 years ofsobriety.
I would have kicked youstraight up.
(03:09):
So if you are new here and youhaven't heard my story, I'm just
going to recap it a little bit.
If not, you can go back to thevery first episode and listen to
the full report of my story.
I woke up that day.
I woke up on August 18th.
It was like many times before,in a 10-year period of alcohol
where I a relationship withalcohol where I woke up and I
(03:31):
was like still extremely drunk,didn't know what happened and I
was told that I had lost myrescue cat, fiona, for a second
time and my boyfriend at thetime he was not stoked, he was
very pissed and I was like no,no, no, she's fine.
A couple hours later I fullyget up and realized that my cat
(03:53):
was really gone and we could notfind her and that my boyfriend
at the time was like beyondpissed, okay, and that I that
evening apparently I threatenedhis life that we have a joke
about now, but it wasn't reallyfunny in those first couple of
years, okay, and that I thatevening apparently I threatened
his life that we have a jokeabout now, but it wasn't really
funny in those first couple ofyears.
Okay, you can't really jokewith your partner about
threatening their lives untilyears down the road.
(04:16):
So just an FYI, if that evercomes up, if you ever want to
make light of it with somebody.
So at that point you know hehad told me he was like, look,
you can continue on with this,but I am not going to stick
around.
He was like, again, you choosewhat you want to do, but if, if,
there's alcohol involved, I'mnot staying.
(04:37):
At that point man and I hadlived together for a.
We have been dating for a yearand a half and I think living
together at that point about ayear.
So I sat in a three-day hangover.
That was God awful, becausethere was so much shame.
And there was so much shamebecause it really was like a 10
year, like all 10 years reallytruly hit me because I felt so
(05:03):
bad about losing sweet Fiona fora second time and then having
Matt so upset because I know Ikid a lot and I like to laugh a
lot, but at that pointthreatening his life, it wasn't
funny in those couple of days,you know, and sitting in that
hangover, dry, heaving in ourguest bedroom just on the ground
(05:25):
and not giving a rip about itlike disgusting, that is pig
behavior.
So I finally found Fiona afterthe third day and it was like a
movie.
It was one of those timesyou'll hear a lot of people say
that they had like this moviemoment, almost, or this moment
(05:45):
that was so clear to them thatthey knew it was over.
And for me it was that when Ihad picked this cat up and she
was so scared, she peed on mewell-deserved.
And you know, before I evenfound her, in those three days,
I made a pact with the universeand I said you know, if I find
(06:05):
her, I'm going to quit drinkingfor good.
Because here's the thing I hadbeen trying to moderate my
drinking for four years prior tothat one moment.
So I had spent 10 years in arelationship with alcohol, was
addicted to alcohol, didconsider myself an alcoholic,
(06:25):
and but those four years it waswhen I hit 25, I had a moment
where I was like there's goingto be a day that I have to give
up drinking I don't know when, Idon't know how, but that was my
gut talking to me of like thisis going to happen, right.
And then, from four years, from25 to 29, that was really
trying to control something thatI had no control over.
(06:47):
And that is okay, because guesswhat?
As human beings, we do not havecontrol over everything, and I
think that's the biggestproblems with people like us,
people like you or me, and youand you're listening to this,
it's a control thing.
Listening to this, it's acontrol thing.
(07:10):
And once alcohol hit my lips, itwas like I felt that switch go
off in my brain and it was likelights out.
Regret my days drinking no,because 10% of the time I
actually had a really good timeand I wasn't blacking out and I
wasn't a pig person, and there'sa lot of memories I have that
drinking is associated with itand it's good.
So I will never not embrace thefull spectrum of it, because I
(07:36):
had some good times and to me,not embracing those bad times,
it wouldn't get me to the pointof where I am at today.
So I don't pretend like itnever happened.
I've spent years of therapy too, of dealing with some trauma
and getting to the place that Iam now.
But I want you to reallyunderstand that at 25, I knew it
(07:57):
and it wasn't like I'm going toquit drinking alcohol.
Today it's like, okay, let metry to put rules on this.
No shots right.
Like go a couple weeks withoutit to prove to yourself and
others like oh, that you canfunction and not be an animal.
But the point was that Icouldn't.
So when it got to August 17thand that was the last night I
(08:21):
was drinking, there was just nocontrol, even though I went into
that evening being like I won'tdo this, I won't do that, I
won't do that, okay, and I didall of those things and that was
the fallout right.
I truly do believe that youdon't know the last time that
you're going to drink until itwas the last time for you.
(08:41):
I'm sure a lot of people doplan it out, which is probably a
small percentage.
I'm sure there's a smallpercentage of people who are
like, okay, come December 31st,that's the last night of
drinking and then they made thathappen.
But I think for a large groupof people the numbers of it that
you don't know that's the lasttime you're gonna have to tell
(09:03):
alcohol until it's done.
And for me that was the lasttime because, even though I had
a bajillion episodes and quoteunquote rock bottoms that were
way worse, trust me, way worsethan me losing even though
losing your cat is really highup there on the D-bag list it's
(09:29):
still there was many worsethings that I had done.
Where that wasn't the moment, Ido believe that your rock
bottom moment is just that.
It's the moment that you'rejust like I'm done, I can't do
this anymore, and that is okay.
So for me, it was August, wakingup, august 18th.
Somebody asked me one timethey're like, do I count my
(09:50):
sober days?
Like the day I decide I'm notdrinking.
I'm like, oh no, please do itthe day after the night of
drinking and like that is yourday one, okay, cause I'm not
giving up those three days thatI spent in that guest bedroom
where I was dry, heaving on thefloor.
Those mattered, okay.
So, and here I am, 13 yearslater, and the one thing that is
(10:16):
always comes up for me thatwhen I reflect back in, and
every year on August 18th, whenI wake up that morning, clearly
I'm recording this before August18th, as you understand, the
date that it's released, but onAugust 18th I will always wake
up that morning and reflect backto me waking up 13 years ago
(10:39):
and where my life used to be.
Because I still at this pointof my life and will continue, I
will 100%, always keep ithumbled.
I will humble my ass througheach year, because for anybody,
(10:59):
nobody's got it like that andthat is why I like to humble
myself and remember where I camefrom and how I lived for 10
years, because that can how Ilive now can be easily taken
away, not saying that my needfor I don't have a need for
alcohol there, but I can't.
I don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow.
(11:20):
You know what I mean.
Like I don't know, nobody doesso, and people can get triggered
off.
I don't know Nobody does so andpeople can get triggered off of
.
You know life events.
It's happened.
We're human beings.
So I like to keep myself humbleand I recommend you doing the
same thing.
That's why I've always said,especially with clients, when I
(11:41):
work with them, it's like youhave got to remember where you
once were.
You don't need to live in it,but you have to remember where
alcohol took you, because onceyou get out of that cycle and
you're not drinking anymore,it's very easy to forget, and
that is why I've alwaysconnected with Courtney drinking
.
I've always continued toreconnect with that through the
(12:05):
years on anniversaries, toremember where I want to go,
okay.
So these are the 13 lessons Iwanted to share with you today.
I will link the first episodein the show notes below, and two
you can hear how the SoberVibes podcast has evolved,
because I was really nervouswhen I did that first episode.
So the 13 lessons Number one youdon't need to hit rock bottom
(12:28):
to change your life, you don't.
Okay, a lot of people thinkthat you do need, like, this
huge rock bottom.
Right, I told you I had rockbottoms before, but it wasn't
until this because it was like Iwas good and tired.
You can start this anytime, andfor a lot of people too, even
if you know that this is aproblem, okay that you know
(12:51):
drinking is a problem.
You have got to at some pointstop it before it becomes a
bigger problem for you.
Truly, you have, and I willshare this story.
I had a person reach out.
We did a consult.
She wanted to end up doingone-on-one coaching.
She reached out and then acouple days later had gotten a
(13:15):
DUI.
Like that is the type of stuffthat I'm talking about, because
DUIs are life ruiners.
They're a changer to your life,right, and whether you end up
hurting somebody, hurtingyourself, or then you're stuck
in that court system and thenhaving that on your record for
the rest of your life, not tomention the guilt that you would
(13:36):
feel for it.
So you've got to take thecontrol now before it gets way,
way, way worse for yourself andit's going to get way, way, way
worse for yourself and it'sgoing to get way, way, way worse
for anybody.
So you might think right nowlike, well, it's not that bad,
well, where could it go to?
Okay, because nobody who is.
(13:58):
If you were questioning yourdream, you're not listening to
sober podcasts and followingsober accounts.
If you're, if you don't have aproblem, truly you're not,
unless you're somebody who'slistening because you have a
loved one who has a problem,okay.
But like, in reality, if you'repressing, play on this today,
there has been an issue and it'sokay because alcohol is a
(14:20):
highly addictive substance.
All right, nobody, nobody isprotected from it.
So stop it before it gets worse.
Number two the first year is atotal rebirth, so you need to
treat yourself with grace.
I can't even tell you how manytimes I have said this, but it's
like that first year you are anewborn baby inside Insert
(14:46):
whatever age you are body.
So when I quit drinking, I was29.
I was like six weeks shy ofbeing 30, right.
So when I came out of that andentering in my 30s, I'm like I
felt like a tiny tot.
I was a person where I feltlike a baby, where then I had to
relearn how to live.
(15:07):
Right, and you're becomingsomebody new in who, in yourself
.
Right, this is a whole newidentity shift as well.
It's not just like oh, courtneyquit drinking.
It was like, no, courtney quitdrinking and then needed to
figure out how to live withoutalcohol and then had to grieve
her old self and then to had tocome into this new identity.
(15:29):
There's a lot that goes on.
So you don't need to be perfectthat year.
You don't need to beat yourselfup.
If you need a effing cupcake,eat the cupcake, okay.
You don't need to beat yourselfup.
If you need a effing cupcake,eat the cupcake, okay.
You don't need to beat yourselfup if you're not working out
yet, like, it will all come intime.
Trust me when I say that itwill come in time.
When you are ready to take onthe next thing.
(15:51):
Some days, especially thatfirst year, it is like man, I
just got to breathe today andbrush my teeth and watch some
shows and that is all you'regoing to do some days, and that
is okay.
You are not a machine, so bepatient with yourself.
Number three slips don't equalfailure.
They reveal what needs to bemore.
(16:15):
Okay, and when I say that it'sreally like it needs, you need
to figure out with the slipswhat do I need more of?
Sometimes it's good you can'tdo it all on your own and you
can't put that much pressure tohave it do it on your own,
especially with this.
The more you get around peoplewho understand it, the more it
will help you.
Or were you hanging out withsomebody that it's just when the
(16:38):
slip happens?
I'm just giving examples.
Were you hanging out withsomebody that it's just when the
slip happens?
I'm just giving you examples.
Were you hanging out withsomebody who is maybe not such a
good influence on you?
And everybody has those friendswhere it's I get into trouble
with her Maybe.
I just need to take a pause fora few, right?
So you really got to look atthose slips as lessons and you
will continue to learn from them.
Hey, good people of the world,it's Courtney, and if you're in
(17:08):
your first year or your fifthyear of sobriety, let's be real.
Summers can be tough, like avery, very, very challenging.
It took me a couple summers tofinally feel comfortable.
There's something about warmweather parties and poolside
drinks that can make it feellike everybody's drinking but
you.
But just because drinkingculture ramps up, especially
during this time, doesn't meanyour progress has to slow down.
(17:28):
That's where a tool likeSoberLink can help.
It's a high-tech breathalyzerthat helps people in recovery
stay accountable, not throughshame, but through structure,
scheduled daily tests.
Let you share instant, verifiedresults with the people who
support you, so you don't haveto do it alone, worried someone
might question your results.
(17:48):
They can't, because Soberlinkuses facial recognition and
tamper detection, so there's noway to cheat it.
Whether you're rebuilding trustor you just want that extra
layer of support this summer,soberlink is here to help you
stay the course of your journey.
I've witnessed people benefitfrom Soberlink and I want you to
(18:09):
be the next.
Visit wwwsoberlinkcom.
Forward slash sober dash vibesto sign up and receive 50% off
your device today.
You can also check the link inthe show notes below Number four
loneliness fades, but communitymust be built.
(18:30):
So this is what I'm saying andthis is why I have these kind of
back to back.
No one is going to magicallysave you, but you.
So this is where, again, yousaving yourself and then
building a community of peoplearound you who get it is going
to be one of the most helpfulthings that you can do, even if
that's just.
(18:50):
You have a girlfriend who quitdrinking a couple years prior to
you.
You go to AA meetings.
You join an online supportgroup, like just people around
who can uplift and support you.
Number five you'll feeleverything you've numbed.
Get ready, and I say that withlove, but that's okay.
(19:12):
You have to remember you'vebeen numbing stuff for years
with alcohol.
So this is a good thing.
That's happening.
It's coming to the surface.
It means that you are a humanbeing in your healing.
I want to tell you too when yougo through a healing process,
it is very common to want to goinward and to get quiet and you
(19:33):
might not be interested in someof the things that you once were
, and that's okay, becausethat's again part of the process
.
Number six you can be sober andit'd be fun.
Can you believe that?
I can, because I'm fun.
So you really have to ditchthis mindset of sober is boring.
You just don't see a differentside because you haven't crossed
(19:57):
that yet and you probablythought for a very long time
that being sober was boring.
I did.
I did that ass.
I did where I'm like, oh, whatdo you do?
And then it wasn't until I gotinto it and then had people ask
me what I did for fun, where Iwas like, oh, okay, I get it,
because when you're sohyper-focused on something and
(20:18):
that's all that is, it is aboutyour life Then.
Or if you need that to go outsocially and like that's how you
have fun socially, you're goingto be in that mindset forever.
But there is plenty of funthings to do.
This really does come down tomindset and you have to keep
remembering to yourself.
It's like are hangovers fun atthis point anymore?
(20:39):
After 40, right?
Like, is the shame cycle funafter a couple days?
Like, no, is not remembering aconcert fun?
It's not.
These are all things that.
It's just like it was a lie,like alcohol is one big fat Liar
liar pants on fire.
But this is where you willstart seeing the more sober days
(21:02):
you do have and the more you goout there and experience life
where you're like, oh, that wasa good time and I didn't need a
drink for it.
Seven triggers can change overtime, so you must use your
coping tools.
Okay, and the triggers you haveat day one are going to be
totally different than thetriggers you have at, like, year
(21:23):
three.
And what worked for you in yearone with the tools might not
serve you at year five.
So for me, this is why I hadalways as part two.
This is why I had always aspart two.
(21:44):
I never, even to this day, at13 years, I have always sought
out help outside of myself, andthat's what I recommend for
anyone listening to this.
Now that help can lookdifferent.
That help could look like okay,you did AA for a couple of
years and now you want to moveon.
Maybe you wanted to do a sobercoach in the beginning and then
you wanted to go explore AA.
Maybe that's looking at atherapist or a life coach or
(22:04):
group.
It all looks different toeverybody.
But continuously, I'm notsaying get help for yourself
every day, but in pockets oftime when you need that help,
explore new health options ornew help options.
Number eight there's no oneright way to recover.
There's just not, andespecially in 2025.
(22:27):
Now there's so many options toget help, all right.
So the only right way torecover is the way that works
for you.
So you have to choose whatempowers you, and you're not
doing sobriety wrong if you arenot going to meetings, or if you
(22:47):
were California sober, that, orif you're on antidepressants,
you're not doing sobriety wrong.
I am one for harm reduction.
So whatever again works for youto get you to that point of if
your drug of choice is alcoholand that is you're not having a
good time with that anymore,then you figure out what works.
(23:09):
You can also, too, grab my book, because if you're in the first
30 days or the first couplemonths or trying to quit
drinking, a lot of my book isset up for you to figure out
what works best for you alongthe process.
Number nine forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness is key.
(23:30):
I know it's going to take along time, but you have to put
that practice in a little eachday.
There's on my Sober VibesInstagram account.
There's have to put thatpractice in a little each day.
There's my Sober VibesInstagram account.
There's one board that Irecycle quite a bit and I want
you to use it more of as anaffirmation I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for taking solong to give up alcohol and
(23:55):
something like that.
I'll put the quote I made in theshow notes, but you have to use
it like an affirmation and evenif you say it, because you get
to a point in your sobrietyjourney where you're like, man,
I wish I would have done thissooner, but that sooner version
of you would not have quit,because maybe you've tried to
quit at 35, but now you're 45and you're like, okay, I'm done
(24:20):
and you've.
You now have six months andyou're just like.
You go through that.
That's where that's a littlebit of like the grieving process
, because you'll you'll feel sadat moments where it's like, oh,
you know, especially as you getolder, you realize how
important time is.
You start looking at timedifferently.
When I had the dictator, likeday two, it was like the thought
(24:46):
, the time, time as a whole wasso different for me once I had a
kid.
So just know that that pastversion of yourself wouldn't
have stopped and you stoppedwhen it was time for you to stop
.
So keep forgiving yourself,okay.
(25:07):
And two for the actions ifthere's stuff that you need to
forgive yourself, work throughthat and you will be able to get
past it.
Number 10, the people who don'tget it aren't your people.
Bottom line you don't need toexplain anybody your healing
journey.
You don't need to explainanybody to why you quit drinking
(25:27):
.
If they don't get it, theydon't get it, and it's not on us
to make anybody get it.
They get it or they don't.
And the people who are like, oh, that's awesome and are there
to support you, let them supportyou and lean into those people.
Eleven, rest is not laziness, itis required.
Too many of us beat ourselvesup for needing to take 30
(25:50):
minutes or an hour to recoupsome energy, especially to when
you get sober, you're going tostart realizing what type of
person you are.
Especially, too, when you getsober, you're going to start
realizing what type of personyou are, and when I'm talking
about the introvert,extrovertness if you're a highly
sensitive person, you need moreof that rest.
A lot of people, too.
(26:11):
You walk a fine line of beingan extrovert, introvert, okay,
and so then you need to rechargeyourself.
Like quitting drinking, becauseyou go through that detox
period and because everything isso heightened, is very easy to
get tired and be tired.
So allow yourself that rest.
(26:32):
I love a good rest.
I love towel time, and that, tome, rejuvenates my soul.
If you do not know what toweltime is, it is you get out of
the shower with your towel onyour head and then you just go
lay in your bed and stare up atthe ceiling oh man, anyone else,
borderline, sociopath but it'sjust, it's rejuvenating and it's
(26:54):
resting and that is justsomething I love to do.
I don't get it as often butthat, to me, if I get one hour
of towel time, it is like sixmonths worth of rest.
It's really it.
And don't get on your phone,just sit there and let yourself
(27:15):
rest.
Plus, you're coming out of theshower too, so you're in a more
relaxed state, but just know youcan rest.
Plus, you're coming out of theshower too, so you're in a more
relaxed state, but just know youcan rest.
Rest is doing something andyour body needs it.
Your nervous system needs it,and it will also help you get
more comfortable in your skinwhere you're not don't feel like
you need to be walking aroundyour house all the time, or
where, like you, can finally sitdown and watch a movie.
Number 12,.
(27:35):
Alcohol wasn't the problem, itwas the solution.
Right, and you will understandthis until you build a life you
don't want to escape from, andthat's the whole thing.
There is a reason.
With alcohol, there's usually alot more going on underneath
(27:57):
the surface, right Of why, thenwe drink to begin with right,
and on the same side of that too, it's we drink to cope.
But then it also becomes thisawful habit.
But there's a lot of issuesthat you want to bury down and
drink to escape.
So when you get into the soberspace and start creating this
(28:22):
new life for yourself, you arenot going to want to escape from
it.
And that is facts.
Again, you could have told me atday 30, like, do you you're
going to want to escape fromyour life in 13 years?
Like no, and it takes some timeto build that and to get
comfortable with yourself.
And it's not going to happenwithin those first six months of
(28:43):
sobriety.
So that's where you got to pullthe reins a little bit and pump
the brakes of.
You don't need to be at thiscertain place by six months If
you're not feeling good yet.
That's okay, it's going to comeon your timing.
You can't rush it and stopcomparing yourself to others and
just know you will get there.
(29:05):
And the sobriety thing too,it's not you don't arrive at
this destination.
It's like you arrive at littlestations along the way of this
journey Okay, or it's oh, okay.
And there might be something Imight say in one of these
podcast episodes where then,five years down the road, you're
like, oh, I get what she'stalking about.
(29:26):
I remember her talking aboutthis when I used to listen, or
listen to her show early on.
Right, I remember this and nowI can apply it and it makes
sense because a lot of what Ispeak about it's really speaking
to you quitting, and up untilthose five years and like again,
(29:46):
I'm great If you graduate fromthis podcast for five, feel
goodbye.
I hope it helps.
I don't want you listening tome forever.
I don't.
I want you to go out andexplore new things and I want
you to take this.
You need it.
You know what I mean.
So, cause I don't ever wantanybody to go through that
(30:08):
recovery, burnout, becausethat's real, that sobriety
burnout's real and then you endup resenting people and being
like F you and then pushing itaway.
You know, and I don't ever wantanybody to think of this space
like that.
So, again, that is why Isuggest listening to other
podcasts.
(30:29):
I suggest listening to otherpodcasts outside of the sober
space and really focus onpodcasts too, if you're looking
more of that personaldevelopment, self-help, of stuff
that you need help with.
So, obviously, yes, sobriety,but then if there's like an
anxiety issue, then startlistening about anxiety and how
you can start focusing on howyou can help yourself more of
(30:49):
that.
Right?
Number 13, you are allowed tobe proud of who you become and
celebrate your milestones.
Celebrate it every day, even ifthat's just giving yourself a
pat on the back, because youdeserve that, and a person who
doesn't have an issue withalcohol doesn't understand how
hard this is.
(31:09):
So give yourself a pat on theback.
Say that you're proud ofyourself, even if you are five
years in, like, yeah, that youdid this, amazing, and keep
going with it.
You know, and that's the thing.
That's the thing.
It gets to a point where it'seventually just like your way of
(31:31):
your default mode doesn't evengo into like I want to drink.
It goes into.
I need to go home and take awalk.
I need to go home and getmyself into bed early because I
just need a good night's sleep.
I need to go home and put on myred light therapy mask and read
my book.
I need to go home and eat acupcake.
(31:52):
I need to go home and drinkfour Waterloos back to back.
It doesn't even go to.
I need a drink.
It just doesn't.
Because you just start livingand, like I said, you just start
to live and not like you know,I'm living this sober life.
(32:13):
It's just I'm living, you know,and that will happen for you.
So I want to thank you all andfor me, when it comes back to
thinking about that, because Iwas just in that thought, when I
think of that, it's like mylife is a complete 180.
And for the Courtney who was inthis addiction with alcohol,
(32:42):
looking back at her it makes mesad, right, because that
Courtney didn't want to live.
And that former version ofmyself God, I hate talking like
this, but I hate that Courtney,but that former version of
myself.
I still get sad for that girlfrom time to time Because there
(33:03):
was a couple times that I didn'twant to live.
My drinking was led me down apath of.
I don't think I would be heretoday if I would have kept
drinking alcohol and it's noteven like now.
You just know people who falland hit their heads and end up
in comas and don't make it out,or people who drink and then
(33:28):
where it completely takes overand there's no turning back for
them.
So I am just very, verygrateful to be here with where
I'm at now and actually trulyloving myself, and not to be in
a place of desperation, becausethat's what that was for so many
years of just desperation andbeing stuck and not being free.
(33:53):
And, as cheesy as it sounds,that is a true freedom.
When you stop drinking and whenyou get out of that cycle, that
cycle and like, once you getout of it, just stay out of it,
because it is going to get somuch harder for you to keep
(34:15):
going back and then detoxing andthen a couple months later
getting back, because therecould be a point where you go
back to drinking and you don'tcome back from it.
And especially to the older weget, it's going to just get
harder and harder.
So once you stay out of it,just stay out of it and connect
(34:35):
again, figure out what type ofhelp you need.
You have to remember your whythat yes, it is worth living and
to give sobriety as manychances as you gave alcohol.
And so when people are like, oh, would you ever go back to
drinking or could you just haveone, like now and it's like,
I've thought of it, like could I?
But I'm like, no, I didn't know, because I don't even one, I
(35:00):
wouldn't even want to risk thatright.
And two, I don't have it in meto do another day one, that was
not a joyous time.
It's not a joyous time foranybody.
I don't even care if you getthe pink cloud.
Once you get out of it, stayout of it, because nothing good
is going to happen when youdrink alcohol again.
(35:23):
It's just going to go byquicker and you're going to end
up being like how did I get backto this point?
I've seen it.
I've seen it a thousand times.
For four years I tried tocontrol something that again was
uncontrollable and it's justnot worth it, especially to when
(35:43):
you start feeling some good inyour life.
You know that's another topicfor another day with the
self-sabotage, but, like whenyou start feeling good, you
deserve that good and ride thatout and continuing because it's
just going to get better andbetter and better.
So thank you so much for tuninginto the Silver Vibes podcast.
(36:06):
So, thank you so much fortuning into the Silver Vibes
podcast.
I'm just very, I feel verygrateful to be here and to turn
13.
I truly, truly, truly do fromthe bottom of my heart, and it's
just.
It's a good place to be, as inliving life without alcohol,
(36:27):
it's a good place to be, as inliving life without alcohol,
it's a good place to be.
So, again, thank you forlistening.
If you haven't yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the
show.
Always feel free to reach out tome on Sober Vibes, on my
Instagram page, sober Vibes, oryou can shoot me an email.
So if you're just starting outor you're somewhere in the messy
(36:48):
middle, know this Again.
I've been where you are and Iso remember those days and
understand what it feels like tobe there.
I get it.
So if you're craving guidance,support and tools to build your
sober life, come hang with meinside the sobriety circle.
Or feel free to book a soberbreakthrough session so you
(37:10):
don't have to do this alone.
And two there just might besomething that could you know
inside my programs, help youmore in your sober journey.
Or like especially two for mysober breakthrough sessions to
kind of get you unstuck ofhaving somebody kind of look
outside of what's been going onwith why you keep going back A
(37:33):
lot of people.
It comes down to self-sabotage.
It truly does, because youdon't feel like you're worth
that good feeling like I wasdescribing.
So I will put the links in theshow notes below.
Again, thank you for listeningand keep on trucking and stay
safe out there.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.