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May 29, 2025 17 mins

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Episode 226:  3 Triggers to Watch Out for in a Sober Summer (and How to Handle Them with Confidence) 

In episode 226, Courtney Andersen chats about typical Summer triggers for sober and sober-curious folks to be prepared for in your journey.  If you're navigating an alcohol-free lifestyle, summer can come with some sneaky emotional triggers.

From patio season to beach days and late-night hangs, it’s not always easy to hold your ground, especially when everything around you says “just one drink won’t hurt.”

What you'll learn:

  • How to handle “vacation mode” brain when your routines go out the window
  • What to say when you're the only one not drinking at a BBQ
  • How to stop romanticizing alcohol in those dreamy, golden-hour moments
  • Your first sober summer is the hardest - it does get easier with each passing year
  • You're modeling clarity for yourself and possibly inspiring others around you

Whether you’re on day 1 or year 5 of living alcohol-free, this episode will help you move through summer with more confidence, clarity, and self-trust.

No tips that make you feel like you’re “missing out.” Just real talk, mindset shifts, and grounded support.

🎧 Tune in and share with a friend who’s walking the same path.

Thank you for listening, and I hope this episode helps you today! 

Resources Mentioned:

Courtney's Website 

The Sobriety Circle

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.


Connect w/ Courtney:
Instagram
Join the Sobriety Circle

Apply for 1:1 Coaching
Order the Sober Vibes Book

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Courtney Andersen (00:31):
Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast.
I am your host and sober coach.
I'm also your go-to guide onhow to live a life without booze
and have a great time doing so.
This is episode 226.
I'm so glad you're back.
If you're new here, welcome,welcome.
Today we are going to be talkingabout three alcohol-free
triggers to prepare for when itcomes to summer.

(00:54):
I always like to drop a summerone, hopefully at the start.
I don't know if I did it in thepast, if it was at the start,
but I just want to prep you, andsince Memorial Day just
happened, it's quote unquote,even though summer doesn't start
till June, but it's really thatfirst kickoff holiday.
That's like the start of summer, right?

(01:14):
This is going to be a quickepisode.
If you haven't yet, though,please rate, review and
subscribe to the show, becausethose do help this little
podcast that could.
So this episode is really foranyone navigating an
alcohol-free life currently andheading into the summer.
Whether this is your first sobersummer or your fifth, the

(01:37):
season can stir up emotions,especially, really, those first
five years.
Now listen, it gets easier.
It really does.
The first one is hard as fuck.
I'm not going to lie to you onthat.
I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
It's different, right, likethat whole first year.
It's just different because youstart learning how to live life

(01:57):
without alcohol in newassociations.
And one big, huge associationis when the weather changes In
the summertime, one screams letme sit on a patio.
Screams.
If you are into the lake life,right, the beach, vacations,
your kids are now going to behome from school, right Like

(02:19):
bonfires, bbqs, all of that,right.
So there's so many associationswith alcohol in all of this.
So if you feel a certain typeof way about summer, I get it, I
get it.
I mean that first 4th of July,I was like, oh my God, is this
really happening?

(02:40):
That was very hard for me that4th of July, because I do love a
4th of July and I love itbecause it's an easy holiday,
it's fun, it's warm out, rightLike it's a fun holiday Some

(03:03):
fireworks, sparklers, good food.
So that first one was hard.
And then into the second andthe third one, it got easier,
but it was still a little bitdifferent.
So that is why I always suggestyou to start doing stuff for
yourself and creating your owntype of traditions and how you
celebrate summer and thesesummer holidays and I told the
gals in the sobriety circle thispast weekend we had two
meetings over the weekend.

(03:24):
You definitely need to checkthat out if you are wanting more
support and especially to goinginto the summertime, lots to
come in the sober circle and youcan still get access to the
free trial because as of June1st the free trial is going to
go away.
I'm starting to add some podcastepisodes only specifically for

(03:46):
the Silver Circle, so that'sexclusive going into that.
So check it out.
The link is in the show notesbelow or go to
CourtneyRecoveredcom and you canfind the information on my
website.
What I was telling them was yougot to get through the first
one, the first and the second.
So I was like on 4th of July,because it's such a major
holiday, after that, one LaborDay is going to be a breeze, so

(04:10):
just keep with it and just keepgetting through another day
sober.
So I want to walk you throughthese three common triggers and
how to move through them withoutfalling into the trap of just
this once okay, because yourbrain might be telling you that
when it comes to this summer.

(04:30):
So number one, the vacation modetrap okay, you're out of your
routine right Again.
It's a beautiful sunny day,maybe you're at a beach house
Again.
Maybe you're on your own patio.
Maybe you're at a friend'sbarbecue and someone offers you
a drink like it's no big deal.

(04:50):
Here's when you're alcohol-free, you're sober journey.
Everything gets louder whenyour routines disappear right
Again, of maybe being at one ofthese things so early in the day
compared to spring, fall andwinter, it was like oh no, no,
no, I'm at my house, right.

(05:10):
So it's not about willpower,it's about identity.
You're not the person who can'tdrink, You're the person who
chooses not to right Becauseyou're not willing to trade
short-term relief for long-termclarity.
Keep that in mind.
So if somebody offers you acocktail, it's nope and you're

(05:33):
not going to go in thatdirection.
So when the vacation mode hits,you need to ask what the future
me is going to be proud of.
For example, let's just usethis for Memorial Day, since
this weekend just passed, am Igoing to be super fucking proud

(05:56):
of myself that I didn't drink onMonday and I woke up on Tuesday
feeling like a million bucks?
And to being proud of myself?
I didn't drink, and that was myfirst summer holiday that I
didn't drink, that you made itthrough.
You always have to play thattape forward right.

(06:16):
And again, the summer, even ifyou're not on vacation mode.
I just want you to understandthe concept of it, of feeling
like because it is for a lot ofyears too, I'm sure it was
everything's a little bit morelaid back in the summer, because
it is summer and it can feellike that.

(06:37):
So just keep that in mind.
What will your future self beproud of?
Or is your future self going tothen wake up in the morning
time, if you choose drinkingtoday, wake up in the morning
time and be like why did I blowit all away?
For two hours of joy and I sayjoy loosely because it's just.

(06:57):
It's two hours of zoning outright, because then it's just.
Then you go through thehangover process and it's a mess
.
So it's an hour to two hours ofwhat could feel for some, some
euphoria.
Hours of what could feel forsome some euphoria.
Again, I guess a little bit ofjoy.
Not worth it?

(07:22):
It's not worth it, all right.
Number two the just a barbecuespiral.
So there's the idea that summergatherings are casual, but if
you've ever been the only onenot drinking at one of these
parties, you know it, it canfeel anything but casual.
You feel like people staring atyou.
You feel like people areconstantly asking you like, what
are you drinking?
So here is your prep you needto bring your own drink.

(07:45):
Bring something you actuallywant to sip, and do not I repeat
, do not unless you, like,really truly know these people
and they reach out to you andknow you're quitting drinking
and ask you like, hey, can Isupply something?
Don't assume they're going tohave the choice of beverage for
you at their house.

(08:06):
You might really love a DietPepsi right now and I'm being
serious, you might really love aDiet Pepsi, and the chances of
somebody else having a DietPepsi at their house are really
slim to none, because they couldbe Coke drinkers.
Okay, you really might love NAbeers right now.
That might be your choice andyou might just assume oh yeah,

(08:27):
they'll have NA beers there andyou get there, and of course,
there's no NA beers, because alot of people who drink don't
think about having NA beers intheir home.
This is a true story, okay, sodon't assume that they're going
to get you covered unless youspecifically talk to them.
So bring your own beverage, evenif it's just your own designer

(08:52):
brand, whatever your Stanley cupfull of a little mocktail you
put in there for yourself, oryour own security water cup.
I feel like I have that nowbecause I go everywhere with my,
with my water bottle.
That that is.
Bring that okay, because itwill make you feel comfortable

(09:13):
Even if it's a 90 degree day andyou like to drink hot coffee on
a stop by Starbucks before yougo to that barbecue and bring
your ass in that hot coffee tothat barbecue, where it's
probably going to be 100 degrees.
Okay, be that person.

(09:36):
Sometimes I am.
It's gross, but I just love ahot coffee.
All right, so have this is theother one.
Have a line ready, somethingshort and simple and confident.
If somebody asks you if youwant to drink, I'm good.
Okay, no, thank you, I'm good,I have an early day tomorrow.
You want to drink?
I'm good, okay, no, thank you,I'm good, I have an early day
tomorrow.
No, thank you, I'm good, I'mdriving.
Okay.

(09:59):
I'm not gonna tell you that nois a complete sentence.
It is, and I have mentionedthat a lot of times, but I
really need to narrow down thatphrase because I had this
conversation the other day withsomebody and two.
I've thought about it a lot,like when you're in those first
couple months of sobriety,standing by no is a complete

(10:20):
sentence is very hard Okay, eventhose first couple of years and
for people pleasers that's veryhard, and for people pleasers
that's very hard.
And when you've been saying yesfor so long and just going with
the flow, like it's really hardto be like no is a complete
sentence and just saying no anddead staring at a person after
that.
So prepare a little line,because I swear, when you

(10:45):
prepare something, then when ithappens to you you don't get
caught off guard and then youdon't start stuttering over your
words.
And then if that happens andyou're like, oh my God, like
super embarrassed, it happens,super embarrassed and it's just
God, or you end up drinking oryou might just end up saying yes
, because that's what auto, whathappens with autopilot.

(11:06):
So, honestly, just think of alittle little oneliner that you
can think of before and havethat prepared.
And also, you need to walk inwith confidence, walk in
grounded, because you are when Isay that walk in with
confidence of you already knowyou're not going to go there and

(11:27):
drink.
You have your security blanket.
That is a beverage.
You prepared what you weregoing to say.
If somebody asks you if youwant alcohol and you now know
that giving up drinking is thebest thing you have done for
yourself.
So walk in and own that partyand have fun.

(11:48):
So you're not making anyoneuncomfortable.
Okay, you are modeling clarityfor yourself and I swear there
is going to be a day when youtell people that you have quit
drinking, that one of thosefriends you told are going to
come up to you and ask you howdid you do it?

(12:09):
Can you help me out?
Can you send me in the rightdirection?
Right, trust me, it happens toeverybody that I have come in
contact with who has quitdrinking, and I have shared this
with them.
Where it does happen, all right.
Number three the rosé at sunsetfantasy.

(12:33):
Okay, this one it's soft light.
You got a glass of rosé wine,whatever it is.
Maybe it's a beer for you,right, you have this fantasy of
what summer is supposed to looklike.
But what this fantasy leavesout, right, what this
picturesque leaves out, is theheadache, the regret, the shame

(12:59):
spiral that will come up thenext day, right, not even the
headache.
Maybe you have come to thepoint of your drinking where you
dry heap the next day, right.
But that regret, the shamespiral, the anxiety that is now
turning into panic attacks, thealso to the 3 am wake-ups, where
you're sitting there lying upat night and you are fucking

(13:22):
spiraling in your head of whydid I do that?
And the reason you're up at 3am is because it's the alcohol
that is keeping you up, becauseyou really don't get quality
sleep when you've been drinking.
It actually does the completeopposite to your sleep cycle.
So you do not need a buzz tomake a moment beautiful.
You can sit on a beach, you canwatch a sunset with a glass of

(13:48):
water flat or sparkling, okayand you can sit there and what
it is about is being in thatmoment, watching one of the most
beautiful things we can witnessevery day, honestly, is that
sun setting, that golden hour,right, like one of the most

(14:10):
beautiful times of day, and it'sabout that.
And you don't need alcohol toenjoy that, so you're not
missing out on anything.
You are truly being present fora memorable moment.
And then let's put in of who ismaybe around you in that

(14:32):
memorable moment, right?
Maybe you're sitting there withyour daughter and she's
confiding in you and you'reactually sitting there, being
present.
And here's the flip side of thatyour daughter remembering that
20 years down the road to belike I'm so happy that my mom
was present for me and that shequit drinking when she did,

(14:54):
because I like this mom better.
This is a true story.
And if you're a dad listeningout there, same thing.
If you're a woman or a man nothaving kids and you have a niece
or nephew, same thing, wherethey're like oh, I'm so happy
Aunt Molly was present for mebecause I like her better

(15:16):
without her drinking.
This is truth.
So that's what makes that typeof thing real.
It's not alcohol, it's justtruly being present and in that
moment and enjoying and enjoyingwhat you have right then.
And there Again, my favoriteaffirmation I'm exactly where I

(15:37):
need to be right now.
And keep taking that with youalong this journey.
When you're having those doubtsof either whether it's high
anxiety or like, why am I doingthis?
And if you keep tellingyourself that it is, yeah, this
is what I need to be doing rightnow in my story, right?
So, whether you're feelingstrong in your alcohol-free

(16:00):
identity or just hanging on by athread, because I know that
there's days that are like that,you're doing awesome, okay, and
you're choosing presence,you're choosing clarity and, at
the end of the day, you'rechoosing you and what's best for
you.
I hope this episode helps you.
I hope this gives you, I hopeit gives you the confidence to

(16:21):
go into the summer of whatreally to prep for and prepare
for when it comes to thesetriggers, because they will come
up.
And when they do come up, Ineed you to send me a DM on
Instagram my supervised accountand let me know and how you
handled it, cause I would loveto hear back from you.

(16:42):
So have an amazing, safe summer.
There's still more episodes tocome, but just have an amazing,
safe summer and keep kicking assand trucking out there.
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