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May 8, 2025 16 mins

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In episode 223 of the Sober Vibes podcast, I chat today about the real, often overlooked cost of your wine habit: from lost energy and time to low self-esteem and confidence. This episode is designed to help you see clearly what alcohol is doing beneath the surface. 

Are you telling yourself it’s “just one glass to unwind”  but still waking up tired, anxious, and disconnected from the life you want? If you’ve been stuck in the “I’ll cut back next week” cycle and know something deeper needs to change, this episode is your wake-up call.

What you will learn in this episode:

  • Why even “moderate” drinking steals your motivation and joy
  • How alcohol impacts your sleep, confidence, and decision-making
  • The hidden toll alcohol takes on your time and self-worth
  • Why willpower isn’t the problem and what to do instead

Thank you for listening!

Resources Mentioned:

Apply to work 1:1 with Soberity Coach, Courtney Andersen

Courtney's Website

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.


Connect w/ Courtney:
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Join the Sobriety Circle

Apply for 1:1 Coaching
Order the Sober Vibes Book

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Courtney Andersen (00:31):
Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast.
I am your host, courtneyAnderson.
I'm a sober coach author andyour guide to living a kick-ass
life without alcohol.
Today's episode is going to bea little different, and today's
episode is episode 223.
That is right 223 episodes ofthis wonderful podcast.
I still cannot believe I madeit past 50 episodes.

(00:54):
So in today's episode it's justa little bit different, because
we're not just talking abouthow to quit drinking, but we're
talking about the real cost ofyour alcohol habit.
I'm just going to throw wine outthere, I'm just going to use
wine, but you insert what it isfor you.
Maybe it's beer, maybe it'ssome liquor, right, but I know

(01:16):
majority of people who listen tothis.
It is about the wine, right?
And this habit too, that no onewants to admit but so many
women feel deep in their bones.
So let's get into it, shall we?
It's going to be a pretty quickepisode too.

(01:37):
Have you ever said somethinglike I'm just having one glass
to unwind, right?
I deserve this.
It's been a long day.
Or I deserve this.
It's been a long day with kids.
Or I deserve this.
It's been a long week.
Or I'll cut back next week,right?
You are not alone.
And really, too, I want you tokeep in mind that this

(02:01):
particular issue, especiallywith alcohol, so many people
feel like it's just like thatthey're the only ones, that
they're the only ones who arethinking this way, and that is
not the truth, right, and I getit because I was there myself.
But I see you, you are a highachiever, right.
You're doing all the things,holding it all together, while

(02:23):
you're quietly wondering why doI feel so off?
Okay, here's the truth.
It's one we've conditioned toignore, right, and especially,
too, with a lot of highachieving women.
You are also a people pleaser,but your wine habit is costing

(02:43):
you.
Your drinking habit is costingyou, and it's not just about the
hangovers or the calories orhow much you spend at Trader
Joe's right.
It's costing you deeper,sneaker ways.
That don't show up really inyour bank account, right, but
they show up in your energy andyour confidence, in your peace
of mind.
They show up in, again, yourself-esteem.

(03:05):
Going back to the confidence,the energy levels, especially,
and also, too, I know a lot ofthe good people of the world on
here too, and even there's menwho listen to this.
Majority of you are highlysensitive.
Slash empaths, okay.
So how this impacts you and howthis completely demolishes your

(03:25):
energy, it's beyond.
Because you feel so much, andthen you feel so much 20 times
more the day after drinking,because then you go into that
punishment cycle, right?
So?
So let's break this down foryou.

(03:46):
Here's what drinking four tofive nights a week, even just a
couple of glasses of wine, isquietly taking from you.
It's stealing your energy.
As I said, you're waking upgroggy, even after maybe you had
eight hours in bed, right,that's tired all the time
feeling.
Because when you go to sleepintoxicated, having a couple of

(04:08):
glasses of wine, you're nothaving any type of alcohol, it's
actually not.
You're not getting the propersleep that you need, right?
So it's not your job, it's notyour age, it's the alcohol
interrupting your sleep cycles.
It's not the little dictators,except for those old dictators.
Do get us right With that sleep.
Listen.
That is why I hired a sleepcoach that first year of his

(04:31):
life, because I was like, pleasehelp me, I don't know what I'm
doing.
So it's alcohol that is fuckingyour sleep up, right.
It's stealing your motivation.
You have dreams and goals andthings that you want to
accomplish in your life andstarting something new, getting
back into shape whatever it isshowing up better in your life,
and starting something new,getting back into shape whatever
it is showing up better foryour family, being a better mom,

(04:53):
being a better partner, butsomehow the follow-through is
missing, right?
Alcohol completely lowers yourdopamine and makes actions feel
like a mountain.
In this pattern that you arealso at, this relationship
you're also in with alcohol, Ihave to say, have you noticed
where you're like?
I used to be a person whofollowed through all the time

(05:16):
and now I'm not.
Now I'm not.
I just celebrated somethinglast week.
I'm taking a public speakingclass, okay, and I actually was
very nervous going and you willget to the point of the story.
Now I was actually starting totalk myself out of it during the
day and I was like, no, youlittle son of a bitch, you're

(05:38):
going to go and do this becauseyou are a person who follows
through with things.
If you say you're going to dosomething 95% of the time, if
you say you're going to dosomething 95% of the time, you
are going to do it right.
And after I got done, it mademe very happy and I'm glad I
participated.
I have a couple more weeks togo in this and but it reminded

(06:00):
me, like even going home, evendriving home, I was like I'm so
happy I did that.
And then it just made me think,like of the days I didn't
follow through and there were somany days in active, in my
active drinking days.
This is I still feel it today,at 12 years, sober, being like
oh wow, you did.
You.
You said what you were going tosay, right, like you did what

(06:23):
you were going to do and youfollowed through, and that means
the world to me now.
You were going to do and youfollowed through, and that means
the world to me now.
So, like driving home the othernight, I was very excited
because again, I reflect back ona time of how I used to live,
and alcohol for sure made me aperson who did not follow
through on jack shit.
So just that was my story foryou.

(06:49):
So alcohol is stealing yourconfidence, right, every time
you say I'm not drinking tonightand then pour that glass of
wine anyways, that chips away atyour self-trust.
And when you don't trustyourself, you stop dreaming big
and wanting big and you don'tthink that you can do anything.
So it's's stealing your joy.
Wine doesn't just numb thestress, it numbs everything Joy,

(07:13):
connection, presence.
You're in the room with yourkids, your partner, maybe your
friends, but you're not reallythere.
Because your thought is, if youeven haven't started drinking
yet, your thought is oh my God,when can I drink?
Or if you are with friends andthey're sitting there just like
casually having one and you'realready finished.
Or if they're wanting to belike God, I don't want to look

(07:34):
like a pig and start drinking acouple more, like in front of
these people, because thenthey're going to start counting
my drinks because the paranoiasets in.
This is what alcohol does.
So you're never really fullypresent, right?
Same thing if you're hung overwith the kids the next day, like
you're not present when you'rein a state of a hangover.
I mean, it's hard enough somedays being 100 percent present

(07:56):
with your child because it'syou're not.
But you know what I'm saying ofbeing hung over.
That's not a space you want tobe.
When you have the littlerugrats around, I'm sure it's
not an enjoyable space, but thatjust adds to the guilt and to
the lack of self-confidence foryou of like, why do I keep doing

(08:18):
this to myself?
Right, and it's stealing yourtime.
Time is all something.
As we get older, we want moreof right, like when you're young
, you just want to get old.
And then, when you're old, at acertain point you're like man.
I wish I could go back to thosedays.
I wish I could go back to someglory days of mine.
Right, and it's something weall want more of.

(08:39):
We want more time right, and soalcohol really dulls.
Let's just say two to threehours a night, right.
Multiply that by five nights aweek, that could be 60 hours a
month, right, nearly a full weekof your life.
Every single month is gone.
That's just in the act ofdrinking.

(09:00):
That's not even in the thoughtsof drinking.
And if you've read my book, youknow that I make you map out a
24-hour cycle.
And a lot of this too is likethe emotional pull that alcohol
has over you with your thoughts,until it doesn't right.
And then we keep saying in thecycle, right, it's not that bad.

(09:24):
Saying in the cycle, right,it's not that bad, I'm not that
bad because I am not like A, b,c and D.
So what happens when you don'tface this?
You stay stuck in the cycle.
You stay stuck exactly whereyou are, right.
You wake up foggy, you pushthrough the day, you pour
another glass, you feel guilty,you tell yourself you'll do

(09:46):
better tomorrow.
Rinse and repeat.
And you're doing that, maybefive days a week, right, five
days a week that you were livingin the cycle.
What am I doing?
Or maybe it's just three days aweek on the weekends, right,
where you go into it on Fridayand then by Monday you're
disgusted.
And then Tuesday, wednesday,thursday, you're like all right,
I feel better, start becoming afunctioning member of society.

(10:09):
And it's like on the weekend ithappens all over again.
So by continuing to do this, youstop feeling like yourself.
You stop dressing the way youused to love, right.
You stop laughing from yourtummy.
You stop dressing the way youused to love, right, you stop
laughing from your tummy.
You stop dreaming, becausedreaming requires energy and you

(10:31):
don't have that energy anymore.
Also, too, you stop thinkingclearer, right, and that is
low-key discontent, that feelingof something's missing, but I
can't name it, right, and thatalcohol is the biggest trick,

(10:53):
right?
It convinces you that it's justlife right now, that you're
just tired or hormonal or toobusy.
Or when the kids get older,this will be better and the
truth of it is it's just goingto get worse and worse as you
get older.
Right, but here's the thing andthis is a lot of people think

(11:15):
that they're broken, like when Iend up getting on, especially
my one-on-one consults withpeople it's what is wrong with
me and it's nothing is wrongwith you.
You are stuck in this cycle ofa highly addictive substance
that has this emotional pull onyou, because everybody has an
emotional dependence on alcohol,right?
So then you are just let you'redefeated.

(11:38):
You are just defeated andyou're bogged down by something
that was never meant to help youthrive and the substance was
designed to keep you stuck andsmall, truly designed.
From the beginning of timepeople have had issues with
alcohol because, again, it is ahighly addictive substance.
This is straight poison thatdoes not get the recognition

(12:02):
that it should be getting right,but it gets celebrated.
So that's for another day.
And again, the worst part ofthis, like I said, it's you
blame yourself.
It's not the substance, that'snot the culture that glamorized
it, it's you.
What is wrong with me?
That's what I said on myone-on-one consults.
What is wrong with me?

(12:23):
You think maybe you just needmore discipline, maybe more
willpower, more green juiceright, more yoga classes, more
stuff to put on your to-do list,but you don't.
That is not.
You need support.
You need a plan, a clear,shame-free path forward.
So that is why I have created myone-on-one coaching program,

(12:46):
designed like it is designed.
It's personal.
You don't need a 30-daychallenge, okay.
You don't need to white knuckleyour way through another dry
January, sober October, dry July.
You need a space to unpackwhat's really going on
underneath your drinking and acoach who's walked the walk to
guide you through it.

(13:08):
So in my private coaching, wework together over usually
anywhere from 30 days to threemonths, whatever level of
support fits you.
I really a lot of people end updoing an eight-week option with
me because that two months is agreat time, because usually

(13:28):
when you get into that 30 to 60day mark, your brain likes to
start playing tricks on you too,especially at 30 of.
Well, it wasn't that bad andfor so many of you, you have
that mindset oh, it wasn't thatbad right after a couple weeks.
So really, what we do togetheris uncover the real reasons
alcohol has become your go-to,create rituals, routines and

(13:52):
tools that help you stayalcohol-free without feeling
deprived, because a lot of this,too, is built on a reward
system.
Rebuild your self-trust andconfidence right and, most
importantly, reconnect you withthe version of you that's been
buried under the booze andburnout.
If you're tired of cycling thesame route mountain client,

(14:15):
being in the same cycle of shame, if you know you're meant for
more than survival mode, I wantyou to go to CourtneyRecovercom
under the work with me sectionand apply now to work with me,
or you can find the link in theshow notes, right?
I keep my coaching containersmall because I can go deep with

(14:35):
each client, so these spots dofill up fast.
So if your gut is whispering,this is for you.
Do not ignore it.
Okay Again, you don't have tokeep shrinking your life just to
cope.
There's other healthier ways tocope without alcohol.
You don't have to keep tradingpresents for numbness.

(14:55):
You're allowed to live awake,alive, clear, present and joyful
, and it's not too late for you.
I just worked with a person whowas 69 years old 69.
And the youngest I've everworked with, somebody who's 24.
I mean, and it comes to a pointwhere, when you are good and
tired, you are good and tiredand that is what you need to go

(15:18):
off of to push you forward.
I don't want to get back to thisfeeling, and a lot of the work
I do with people, too, is a niceconditioning.
It's a good conditioning of thebrain, right?
So, again, go toCourtneyRecoveredcom under work
with me, or look for the link inthe show notes and let's get
back.
Let's get you back to you, intothis new version of yourself,

(15:41):
going forward.
So thank you for tuning intoday.
If this episode resonated foryou, please feel free to reach
out and slide into my dms on mysoar vibes instagram page and
remember this you are not theproblem.
Alcohol is, and there is abeautiful life on the other side
of that.
Okay, thank you for listeningtoday, as always.

(16:04):
Keep on trucking and stayhealthy out there.
Thank you.
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