EP3- The Ripple Effect: Giving and Receiving Love and Appreciation

SEASON 2, EP 3 - Giving Gratitude: When You Know It’s Time to Share Your Appreciation

Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice—it’s a powerful way to deepen connections, build resilience, and create positivity. How declaring gratitude - above and beyond our usual language can exemplify connection, expand your perspective and cement healthy relationships bonds. In this episode, I share personal stories and tips on how expressing appreciation can shift your perspective and strengthen relationships, from reconnecting with a mentor to saying the things we often leave unsaid.

 

In This Episode, We Cover:

• The importance of giving love and appreciation, not just receiving it.

• How expressing gratitude can create a positive ripple effect in your life and the lives of others.

• A personal story of reconnecting with a mentor who provided invaluable support during a challenging time.

• The power of vulnerability and expressing your true feelings to those who have impacted you.

• Recognising that everyone has a story and carries their own burdens, and how we can support each other through kindness and understanding.

 

If today’s episode resonated with you, take the next step and join The Toolkit – a free resource to help you deepen your self-discovery: https://courses.soulcarehealing.com.au/thetoolkit

 

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:32   Are You Giving as Much as You're Receiving?

01:04   God Sent Me Mentors

01:27   Everyone Has a Story

03:15   I Had My First Panic Attack

04:12   He Created Light and Laughter

04:49   It's Your Journey to Faith

06:24   Don't Wait to Show Gratitude

07:06   The Gift of Time and Attention

07:43   I'm No Longer Scared of My Emotions

08:30   What a Special Thing to Receive

08:40   There Is Never a Bad Time to Say "I Love You"

08:56   We Shared the Last 15 Years

09:42   You Did Exactly the Right Thing

10:08   I Double Dare You to Be Brave

10:24   Reach Out and Let Them Know

10:36   Your Contribution Is Valuable

 

Resources & Links:

• Soul Care Healing Website: http://soulcarehealing.com.au/

• Soul Care Healing Instagram: http://instagram.com/soulcarehealing_

• Soul Care Healing Facebook: http://facebook.com/soulcarehealing

• Email us at: [e-mail]

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Episode Transcript

(00:13):
Hello. Hello, souls. And welcome back for another episode. Today, I really wanted to talk to you about the value of offering. You'll love and appreciation so much in life. We are the ones who want to receive it. And that's fair and just. And as you should my lovelies, you should be feeling loved and appreciated.
But what happens if we're expecting it all the time, but we're not necessarily giving it out all the time?

(00:39):
And how does giving it out actually create the ripple to send it back to you along the grapevine of life?
In the last year or so, as I've been on this journey of this new business and I've been writing this book, there has been one particular man that I have been thinking about constantly
Throughout my life, when I've had challenges and when my dad was at his most fragile with his mental illness, it was like God sent me other men to just fill that gap of a mentor for a little while.

(01:10):
And one of these men, I just had to let him know how much he created safety, companionship, and friendship in a time that was really dark in my life.
Because the reality is, is that we can all be walking on the street, and in that moment we're doing quite well. And I'm always mindful that everyone I interact with in life has got a story and they've got scars and they can be masking

(01:37):
The thing is, though, is that we can be happy day to day, and then we can also have this back story that holds a little bit of grief and a little bit of upset for us.
So this man was my employer at a very busy salon that I help manage for him.
in the center of town in Bendigo.
I remember first meeting this fella and his wife when I was working in a different salon, and they were clients of mine there, and he sat down with me and he said, I've got an idea.

(02:04):
I'm thinking of doing something. He told me this concept about being the first high fashion men's salon that catered just to men's TV screens and farm equipment and sporting memorabilia everywhere. And I thought, oh, this is really cool. And then he said, do you wanna come and be a part of it? Do you want to come and help lead a team?
And I just thought, wow, okay, right. He's like, I just want your energy to be a part of this team. I think you'd be really great.

(02:31):
so I took the opportunity and there was a manager that I assisted, and then there was a team.
then, we still joke to this time that even though there was only eight staff at its peak, there was sure a shit 60 different personalities in that room. Hairdressers? A bonkers bunch, that's no doubt about it.
During this time that I worked for this gentleman, and in particular, when one manager stepped away and I became the person who ran two salons for him, he was a part of my journey of when my dad decided to go off his medication and slowly went downhill again.

(03:04):
So He was a part of witnessing his moods and his phone calls. And after one phone call where I felt like I could not take any more, I had my first panic attack in the staff room
and he walked in and he just said, right, this is not normal. You've done this shit for long enough. And he booked me my first psychology appointment and he said, you going, are you taking the rest of the afternoon off?

(03:29):
And you're going up the hill and you're going to go see a psychologist. And I had never, ever got help for any of the decade that I'd been dealing with dad's illness and my sister's addiction.
I got up the hill and I sat down and this gentleman said to me, why are you here to see me today? Well, that poor guy.
I bet he never asked that question that way again. I offloaded everything from the last decade, and once I finished talking, he literally just sat there and said, and this is the first time you've ever had professional help?

(04:00):
And I said, yep. And it only happened because I just had a meltdown at my workplace, and my boss made me come. Anyway, back to the salon.
This gentleman was so caring at checking back in, he created light and laughter on a daily basis. Every time I saw him. And no matter what was going on in my personal life, he created such a warmth that was missing from my family unit as we started to drift apart.

(04:28):
Hey, that inspired me to think about faith in a new way. When I was from a family that were very against the church. My dad grew up in a Republic of Ireland, and he grew up in a time through the 40s and 50s where religion split a nation. So he never got us, christened or baptized. And I remember him saying to me, one day, Gail, it's your journey to faith.

(04:53):
And you'll feel a tap on the shoulder and you make your choice. At that time, I'm not going to brand you with my choices because I don't have any. I just it's not for me.
And through Matt, who became this angel of wisdom and forgiveness and softness, he guided and mentored me in so much more in life than just hairdressing.

(05:13):
And yeah, we had conflicting ideas because as I started to play in the space of faith and new age and meditation and spirituality, he kept coming back to that. You are getting distracted. God is the only voice. And at the time I thought, what a load of shit, this guy's got his head. So far up his ass you won't even listen to anyone else's opinion.

(05:35):
What I've learned in decades time and listening to these stories is that is his foundation for everything, and it has served him and the community beautifully. So I see the value in what I was offering, but at the time, I just wasn't from a family that could hear those words and value what he was trying to say.
So this man in the last 18 months from now was really in my mind.

(05:57):
And I was writing the book, and then it really came in the forefront that this man has contributed so much to my life and my healing inadvertently, without even knowing, just by being him.
And as part of all the healing that I've had through these last ten years and in my life is a wellbeing mentor and in my life as a life coach, I recognize that there are conversations I want to have that are not on my deathbed.

(06:24):
I am not waiting to show my vulnerability and my gratitude for very big conversations.
Don't get me wrong, I think people all the time for all the wonderful things that they do, how they help me out, how they support me. I show that.
But for someone who contributed in in a way that was removed from my family unit and it didn't just do it for me, there was a few of us girls there that had some challenges with that parents, and they were also supported and loved and guided by this man who asked for nothing in return.

(06:58):
It builds up trust for some of these young women in Michigan that had lost it.
It was so powerful. And as I get older, I understand the gift that he gave us all time, attention, affection, humor.
It was powerful.
So I reached out to him recently and I sent him a voice message, and I said, Matt, it's Gail.
Long time to say. And I rattled

(07:19):
off that. I really would love to catch up with him, and I really would like to talk to him about his life, and I want to be face to face. I also said to him that I really wanted to make sure that he consented to being in my book, and that he was happy for me to share what he had provided for me.
I didn't think he'd say no, but I just thought, well, I always believe in giving someone a heads up.
So I did the voice message and I got emotional. I got emotional during the voice message, but I'm no longer scared of my emotions, and I'm no longer scared of the volume of love I hold within me.

(07:50):
I just put it all out there
and I just got the most beautiful message in return. Which of course, you know, this likes.
Probably he's not expecting it. I didn't send him a text to say, hey, I'm about to say some of the nicest things, you know, that I could possibly say to a human. Who knows, he might have been in halfway through his weight because he might have been in the car. He might have been on the loo, and he gets this message out of the blue from this woman that he's known.

(08:13):
And I'm now, oh, 15 years older than the last time. We had a really big connection.
And he says to me, I can hear it in your voice that you're different. I can hear this grounded woman,
and I feel what you're saying to me and wow, what a special thing to receive in the middle of the morning. He was just blown away.

(08:37):
He was just blown away. And it showed me that there is never a good or a bad time to tell someone that you love them. It can be whenever people are nearly always willing to receive it. So we met across the table from one another. We had a hug, we ordered some couples, and we shared the last 15 years.

(09:00):
And it was so wonderful and so fulfilling.
I got emotional during our conversation because I really needed him to get it, and I don't know why it shouldn't be about me and what I needed because I was supposed to be handing over a gift,
but I just wanted him to trust and know to his core how good a person he is.

(09:22):
And he was so humble
in his reflection, 15 years further into his faith, into community, away from the workplace, he says now all now I recognize where some of those girls were at, and I probably should have done this, and I probably should have done that, and I probably should have got everyone counseling.
And I went, no, no,
you did exactly the right thing for each of us. You read the room, you witnessed what each person needed and you delivered that. And that is such a gift.

(09:51):
You didn't need to have all the answers for all of us. You just needed to show up in a way that was authentic to the way you live and the way you speak, and the way you honor.
And that's enough. That's enough. And that's the best all of us can do.
so what I'm hoping is contagious for you as you watch this or you listen to this, wherever you are,
I double dare you to be brave.
If there is someone that you need to lean into and make contact with,

(10:15):
if there was a mentor that you had that potentially changed the course of your existence, they gave you the medicine. You didn't even know you need it.
Reach out and let them know. I believe everyone who has done an amazing thing should go to their death.
Holding that in their heart that what they contributed to in the time that they walked this earth was valuable,

(10:41):
made a difference,
created connection.
And I think that that's all we ever need. It is that simple.
So thanks for listening.
Soliz. I hope that you are inspired, and I wonder if you recognize that you probably have been that person for someone.
it doesn't necessarily need to be on that same scale, but most of us have inspired at least one other person. And to receive, we need to give.

(11:08):
When you put your words out there and part of the divinity here, that you will receive that ripple back, it may not look the way that you want it to look, but you just have to receive it anyway.
Take care. Soliz and I will talk to you again soon.
And that is all for today folks. I feel so grateful and blessed to be able to share these stories with you and to bring us together as a community. I'm Gayle Wilson and this is So Kate's podcast, naked. You can find further resources at my website, silk healing.com today here.

(11:44):
These resources are designed to support you and your family as you experience big emotions through this journey back to empowerment, healing and self connection.
Don't forget to follow and subscribe so that you can get notifications on the next episode as it lands.
Take care and just be kind to yourself.