EP7 - Seeing Life Through a Different Lens: Embracing Your Child's Perspective

SEASON 2, EP 7 - See Through Their Eyes: The Beauty of a Child’s Witness

Children have a way of seeing the world that’s unlike anything else—full of curiosity, wonder, and fresh perspectives. In this episode, we explore the profound beauty of viewing life through a child’s eyes and the invaluable lessons their perspective can offer us as adults.

I share a personal story of seeing an event through the lens of a child’s photos and how it completely shifted my understanding of that moment. From the candid insights children share to the unique way they process big topics like loss, this episode is an invitation to slow down, listen deeply, and create space for the kids in your life to express themselves fully.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• The unexpected insights gained from viewing a child's photos taken at a familiar event.

• How a child's perspective can shift our understanding of family moments and shared experiences.

• The importance of listening to children without immediately responding, allowing them to express themselves fully.

• Navigating sensitive topics like death with children by observing their cues and creating a safe space for questions.

• The value of letting children experience life through their own lens, even if it means embracing technology like mobile phones.

 

If today’s episode resonated with you, take the next step and join The Toolkit – a free resource to help you deepen your self-discovery: https://courses.soulcarehealing.com.au/thetoolkit

 

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

02:02   Witness the Photos They’ve Taken

02:37   How Different Would Our Albums Look?

02:48   Something Drove a Curiosity in Her

03:11   Lean Into Her View

03:39   Her View Expands

03:51   Kids Shift Away From Our Guidance

04:07   When I Listen to Her, I Don’t Have to Respond

04:37   They Don’t Want to Hear Your Side of the Story

05:01   A Beautiful Member of Our Family Passed Away Recently

05:24   They Had a Lovely Connection

05:51   “I’ve Got a Question”

06:54   Do What Feels Comfortable for You

07:00   Brave Enough to Attend

07:08   Just Do What’s Right for You

07:27   We Are All Picking Up Different Details

07:57   Seeing It Through Her Own Eyes

08:17   Let Her Witness Her Life

08:26   Take the Pressure Off

08:37   Let Her Share Her Story

09:22   Setting Myself Up for Success

09:26   Witness the World Through a Child's Lens

09:41   Ask Them About Their Perspective

09:48   What Was It That You Liked?

09:52   Create That Safe Space

09:56   They Have So Much Insight

 

Resources & Links:

• Soul Care Healing Website: http://soulcarehealing.com.au/

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Episode Transcript

(00:13):
Hello. Hello and welcome back, Soliz, to another episode of the podcast. I want to talk about something that gets so much bad press. And while the whole episode is not about that, I just want to talk about a positive.
we are a generation that have let how kids have mobile phones. Wow. Is it frowned upon in the older generations.

(00:39):
And I get it. There are certain things that kids don't need with the phone.
I want to talk about one thing that I've really enjoyed witnessing with my child, having their own phone.
Every year in Bendigo we have a very famous Easter festival.
It is filled with color and culture and Chinese dragons and shows here, there and everywhere and rides and show bags and wonder and excitement. And it's very people. There's lots of people watching everywhere. And the main part of the carnival is this very famous dragon, the longest imperial dragon in the southern hemisphere.

(01:22):
We have a newest member to our dragon family called Dog and Lo. And this dragon is sensational.
The colors are beautiful
this year. It's normally made for every family event. Birthdays, holiday days. Sites saying that I have my phone out and I'm expected to capture all the photos and I like doing it. I'm not going to lie. I love capturing the back of my kids or a foot on the sand. Anything that creates scale and creates a timeline of their journey.

(01:57):
What I found though, that's been really curious to me, is when someone else has their own camera within your family and you get to witness the photos they've taken. It's really interesting to see what they like witnessing and how it's different to you. So, for example, we're at the same parade, but we took photos of such different things from different angles,

(02:21):
and it got me realising, wow, if she have had a camera, not that I would give her a camera phone like two years old, but if she have had a chance to capture her childhood through her lens of a camera, how different would our family albums look?
Because she took photos of things that as it passed me, I was like, yeah, right. Yeah. Next thing.

(02:47):
But when she captured it, it was something in that that drove a curiosity in her.
And I recognised that since I'd been the one taking all the photos over all the years, it had only been my perspective of all the things we'd witnessed.
All the beaches, all the caravan parks, all the shells we’d collected, all the rainforest walks, etc., etc.

(03:10):
and so now, as I lean into her view, it's also created the conversation of her perspective, not just what she witnesses behind the lens of a camera.
And it gets me to open up to all sorts of things about the generations coming through, and how, when I sit to listen instead of sit, to respond to anything and everything that she sees with me, how much more I get out of her, how much more her view of everything expands, and then how much more I get to witness of what goes on inside her head and our hearts

(03:48):
As our kids get older, there is a level of them shifting away from our guidance a little bit. Doesn't mean we're still not friendly with them. It can mean that sometimes we're fighting with them as we kind of try to cling on to any part of them and potentially become a little bit clingy, and they just pushing us away.
So what I've learned is when I listen to what she has to say,

(04:10):
I don't have to respond always. Sometimes it's just, yeah, I could say how that's interesting.
And it took me a little while to get to this point because I love a chitchat. I love it backwards and forwards conversation. But what I'm recognizing with my teenagers is, is there perception?
And their reflections aren't as conversational as what us adults like it to be. They don't want to hear your side of the story. They genuinely don't want to hear you sitting in memory lane.

(04:46):
But it's one of those things that got me. Being patient during my parenting experience is the fresh perspective of a child, and how amazing, really acute their thoughts are from a very young age.
Recently, we had a beautiful member of our family passed away.

(05:06):
And I noticed that it wasn't sitting well with my little fella.
This is a family member that has babysat him and has looked after him a few times, but not particularly super constant in his life
and certainly a lot older. So this is his great, great. Auntie.
they had a lovely connection. There's no doubt about that.

(05:27):
And as I witnessed him being a little uncomfortable and I noticed this from when I watched his perspective shift in his body, that when we'd have a conversation in the family about something else at meal times and then someone might bring up about the funeral again. Oh, tonight I could see him peak
like, okay, there's an opportunity for me to ask questions here.

(05:49):
And the questions that he wanted to ask and say, I've got a question. He does it at that signing table when he feels like he needs to interject, but he knows he's not allowed to interrupt. And I was like, what's your question? And he goes,
are we going to look at her at the funeral?
And I said, I don't think so. Would she look rotten? And I was like, no, mate. Next question. Will she look like a zombie? And I was like, no, mate. And I said, is this what's been worrying you in these last couple of days at any time? We talk about the funeral. You kind of put your head up, and sometimes afterwards you put your head down and say the thoughts that have been going on in your mind.

(06:32):
And it was like, yes. I just didn't want to look at her if she was really rotten, because I don't know how long it takes the body to rot. As it happens straight away.
And it created this really wonderful bridgeway into a conversation about what happens when we die. People's request when they pass away. I said, as far as I know, mate,
the coffin will not be open and you won't be seeing her.

(06:54):
And even if it was darling, you only have to do what feels comfortable and natural for you.
The fact that you're brave enough to attend the funeral is respect enough. You don't have to do it the way everyone else is doing it. Just do what's right for you. So here's perspective of what could happen. I'm so glad that I noticed the cues in his body language to indicate that there was something sitting in his mind.

(07:21):
And just like the lens through my daughter's camera,
I witness that even though we're all living the same moments and we're all a part of the same conversations, we are all picking up different details all the time.
And how different those details are based on what we're afraid of, what lights us up, what inspires us, what terrifies us, what challenges us,

(07:47):
where our curiosity is.
And that's what I loved about my daughter having a phone. So now at a lot of events,
I don't make her put a phone away.
I let her enjoying seeing it through the lens of her own eyes. For her to capture and hold on to forever.
And now I sit back a little bit more.
I sit back and I just let her go.

(08:08):
And I don't feel that I need to correct her behavior because her having her phone out, taking a photo makes someone else feel uncomfortable that she has a phone to begin with.
I just let her witness her life
and as she sees the details to be
and is, she is excited by something.
I let her go for it.
And it has been quite nice to take the pressure off. And then afterwards, when we get home and I go through her camera, roll with her and say, that's interesting. What did you like about that? And let her share her story with me. And sometimes the reality is she's almost a teenager. Sometimes it's like

(08:44):
I don't know. I just liked it. So I've got to make sure that I create that engagement in just the right time
again, because I'm wanting to create connection from her perspective. I need to make sure that she's warm and open.
So I'm not going to do that when she's exhausted and when she's already got the TV and she's staring at it.

(09:05):
I make sure that when I approach her for her perspective on anything and everything. Has she had a full meal?
Has she had a decent sleep?
Is she showing levels of wanting to communicate with me? Is she open? Is she creating eye contact? Does she look on and ready for engagement?
And then I'm setting myself up for a level of success with my connection.

(09:26):
how wonderful it is to witness the world through the lens of a child.
And that is one little thing that I'm giving a tech to mobile phones for.
Thank you so much. And if you get the chance with your child's consent and permission, as long as there's
things that are appropriate, ask them if you can have a look at the next event you've been to, where they've taken a lot of photos and ask him about their perspective and say, what did you love about that?

(09:48):
Like, you've got lots of photos of that particular thing. What was it that you liked
and create that safe space for them to open up? Because I promise you, they have so much interesting insight.
take care of my beautiful souls. I hope you have a terrific week ahead and I will be chatting to you again very, very soon.

(10:11):
And that is all for today folks. I feel so grateful and blessed to be able to share these stories with you and to bring us together as a community. I'm Gayle Wilson and this is So Kate's podcast, naked. You can find further resources at my website, silk healing.com today here.
These resources are designed to support you and your family as you experience big emotions through this journey back to empowerment, healing and self connection.

(10:38):
Don't forget to follow and subscribe so that you can get notifications on the next episode as it lands.
Take care and just be kind to yourself.