[ENCORE] Ep. 151: Dealing with Uncertainty & Building Resilience with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

SHOW NOTES

My guest this week is Dr. Nicole Beurkens. As a licensed clinical psychologist with advanced degrees in psychology, education, and nutrition, Dr. Nicole Beurkens is the world’s leading holistic child psychologist. She has dedicated her 22+ year career to providing parents with research-based strategies that get to the root of children’s attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior challenges so they can reach their highest potential. She runs a multi-disciplinary evaluation and treatment clinic and is a best-selling author, published researcher, award-winning therapist, and experienced mother of four.

Big Ideas

One of the best things we can do for our kids is stay grounded ourselves and model that for them.

There is often not a “right” or “wrong” choice. It’s important to look at what is best for your family to help you decide.

It’s important for kids to have independent time either by themselves or with their siblings.

It’s helpful to pay attention to our coping skills and model healthy ones for our family that do not always involve screens.

Quotes

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: Parents and kids are now facing starting a year in a really different way. And just the uncertainty of that is generating a lot of anxiety and a lot of distress for kids. But I would say even more so for parents. I get asked all the time, “What do we do for the kids? What do we do for the kids?” And the reality of it is it's really how we're dealing with it as parents that sets the tone for how our kids deal with it.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: The first thing is to realize exactly what we're talking about—that the tone that we set as adults, as parents really makes the most difference. If we're able to manage our own emotions and behaviors around this in healthier ways, that really goes a long way to helping kids do that.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: We need to figure out how to keep ourselves more stable and more regulated.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: We need to find some time to ground ourselves and to help ourselves through the feelings and the things that are going on for us.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: It's super healthy and important for kids to have time when an adult is not structuring or generating and initiating activities.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: Please realize you can step back and take some time to do the work catch-up that you need to do, to sit down with a book and a cup of tea for a few minutes, if that is soothing to you, to go out and take that walk, to do the things that help keep you healthy—your kids can go navigate that time by themselves.

Dr. Nicole Beurkens: Ultimately what happens is they start to find things to do. And that's really where an increase in creativity and self-generated activity and initiative comes from is when we allow them to have times where they have to figure it out either independently or with their siblings.

Audrey Monke: I think part of it is that when both parents work outside the home, I think what they're used to is when the