REMASTERED: Love Your Life, Not Theirs, and Eradicating Comparison, with Rachel Cruze (Finances, Debt, Money, Gratitude)

Author, podcast/radio host, and Certified Financial Coach Rachel Cruze shares the role gratitude plays in financial stability, why it’s never too early, or too late, to get your finances in shape, and says…..uh oh…. the "C" word (not that one).

Mentioned in this episode:

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Stephen Ural / Monthly Bill Payment Checklist

Episode Transcript

Host (00:34):
Rachel Cruze. She's a great speaker. She's an amazing
communicator, and her book iscalled Love Your Life, Not
Theirs. And so Rachel, welcomeback to the show.

Rachel Cruze (00:44):
Thank you.

Host (00:45):
Why this book and why right now?

Rachel Cruze (00:48):
Well, you know, I have found you know more than
ever, I feel like social mediahas made it easier for us to
compare ourselves to everyoneelse. You know kind of gives us
this picture into everyone'sworld. And so I find, you know,
with statistics, and as I go andtalk to you, well, people are
struggling with their money, butwe don't see that side of the
picture. Literally, we don't.And so really, with this book, I

(01:09):
walk people through seven moneyhabits for living the life that
they want, not what everyoneelse is living, but the life
they want to do it without debt,without stress, without worry.
And so that's really the themethrough the book. It's kind of
this comparison thread. But Ialso walk you through seven
money habits to get you to thepoint where you can use money as
a tool to help you do the thingsyou want and do the things you
value.

Host (01:30):
There's some really damaging habits that we develop.
And you already mentioned thebig C word.

Rachel Cruze (01:36):
Yeah, comparison, right. It's like the word that
everyone is in battle with, Ifeel like, on a daily basis,
and, yeah, and it's just verydangerous, because what ends up
happening is that comparison notonly steals our joy, but it
feels our paychecks as well,because we end up spending, you
know, gone, awful amounts ofmoney to keep up the lifestyle
that we think everyone else isliving, but we're missing out on

(01:58):
because that lifestyle is whatwe're seeing on social media.
And just like you said, I mean,like, Instagram, Facebook,
Twitter, it's the new cars, it'sthe Christmas gifts, it's the
vacations, it's the first classairline seats. I mean, whatever
it is, it's like, it'sconstantly it's everyone's
highlight reel. And so if youare gaging your life via social
media, and you're like, Okay,well, this is what this person
is doing all the time. Theirlife looks amazing all the time.

(02:20):
You know, the filters they'reusing makes everything even more
beautiful. I mean, like, thewhole bit. And what we have to
understand is, like, that's notreality, that's not the entire
picture. And again, going, youknow, after years of research
and studying the topic of money,I know that people are
struggling with money. So I seea brand new kitchen that's
redone, you know, granitecountertops and new lights and

(02:41):
like, that's what I see onFacebook. It's like, Joanna
Gaines went in and waved hermagic wand, and it's like, it's
beautiful and it's a redonekitchen. But I know on the back
end, how many remodeled homes dothat take out a separate
mortgage? And so I've just hadto look and say, Okay, it's not
all reality. We don't reallyknow what's going on behind that
picture. And so that's whatpeople have to focus on. Because
if you try to make your life asgreat as someone else's on

(03:03):
social media, it's really it'snever going to happen.
Comparison is a battle no one'sever going to win, and it's
true. And so we have to removeourselves from from that
perspective to say, hey, I wantto focus on my life. Put the
blinders on and say, What's bestfor me and my family? What are
things we want to do? What arethings we value? And how do we
use our money as a tool to getus there?

Host (03:22):
Let's get into the practical in terms of, you know,
what are some of these habitsthat somebody's listening right
now that they can, they canstart doing immediately, just to
maybe lower the stress level alittle bit and get on the right
track?

Rachel Cruze (03:35):
Sure. Well, the whole comparison, you know, quit
the comparisons, is one of thehabits in the book. And so
talking about that, I think it'san important one to start on,
because to be able to be contentin life, you're going to be able
to win financially so muchfaster than when you're
discontent. And so finding thatcontentment is kind of your
level playing field, and you'renever going to be content if
you're comparing your life tosomeone else's constantly. So I

(03:57):
say, you know, the action pointon that is gratitude, and that
word embodies so much. But Ihave found in my own life that
when I'm grateful and my heartis filled with gratitude, there
is no room for discontentmentand comparison and to start
there and just be like, You knowwhat I'm going to I started a
gratitude list on my phone, andso every morning I try to type
down just two things I'mgrateful for. And it's such a

(04:19):
good exercise for me to reallystart, you know, my day, and
really my perspective on thisidea of, okay, hey, I'm great.
Here's all the things I'mgrateful for. I'm gonna start
there, and then from there youcan build and so another habit
is you'll make a plan for yourmoney. You have to be the one
controlling your money, not yourmoney controlling you. And so a
plan for your money, really abudget, is what that is. We can

(04:40):
go got the B word, because noone likes that word, but it is.
It's a tool to help you getthrough the month and be able to
make sure all your necessitiesare covered and to plan out.
Hey, here's what I want to dofor fun, but you're doing it
with a plan, which soundsboring, but really what it does
is a limit. I mean, a budget, itdoesn't limit your freedom. A
budget gives you freedom. Abudget. It really gives you

(05:00):
permission to spend and soputting that habit in your life
where it'll jump start you, Ibelieve that the gaining control
back with your money when you'rein debt and the bank is
basically controlling your life,financially speaking, you know,
car loans, credit cards, studentloans, it's just this constant,
you know, the lender is there.You don't have many options in
life. And so when you don't havechoices, you don't have options,

(05:22):
anything that seems gratifyingor satisfying in the moment you
gravitate towards, and it'slike, oh my gosh, I want that
new TV or I want that one thatyou find yourself a little bit
more under the desperationcolumn, I would say, because
financially, you are when you'reliving paycheck to paycheck
because of debt. And so whendebts freed up and suddenly
you'll owe anyone anything. Yousuddenly become less impressed

(05:45):
with with everyone else aroundyou, in a sense, and because you
have the option, you have moneypiled up in the bank, and you
can say, I don't really needthat. You know, you know, you're
able to make choices and makedecisions more with clarity,
versus being all fogged by thestress and the burden, really,
of debt.

Host (06:03):
What are a couple of the other things that we can do to
continue down the journey here?

Rachel Cruze (06:09):
Yeah, well, we kind of touched on it earlier,
but it's but it's true the wholedebt discussion. And so one of
the habits is steer clear ofdebt. And what does that look
like, practically in your lifewhen you don't use debts in your
life? How are you able to takevacations? How are you able to,
you know, I hear so many peoplesay, Well, how can I, you know,
grocery shop and buy organic butstill do it on a budget,

(06:29):
basically meaning like, how do Ilive my life still and, well,
how do I do these things?Because so many people depend on
the avenue of debt to get themwhat they want right when they
want it. And so what does itlook like to not have that in
your life, not only to get outof debt, but to continue to live
a debt free life. And so thehuge element of this, there's
another habit that I talk aboutthat says, talk about money even

(06:51):
when it's hard and money isinteresting within our
relationships, and when you andyour spouse can get on the same
page about money, it changes somuch the unity in your marriage
is strengthened. Your hopes andyour fears and your dreams are
all come into alignment togetheras a couple. And this whole
conversation with money around,you know, spouses, but even

(07:11):
parents to their kids, even, andI've seen and talked to more
adult children talking to theirparents about money, because
their parents, you know, theydon't have a will. They don't
have these things in place. Andso what do those conversations
look like? And so really, therelationship aspect of money is
a habit that we all need toform, and it's hard. Sometimes
it's awkward. I mean, being ableto make this a habit in your

(07:32):
life and your marriage just isso healthy, and so walking
through that is key.

Host (07:36):
So I want to shift the conversation a little bit here.
Can you just, like, share alittle bit of what it was like,
kind of growing up in this wholeworld?

Rachel Cruze (07:44):
Yeah, I think some people assume, like an extreme
case, that we had, like, mutualfund parties and, you know,
budget meetings and camps on theweekends and all this stuff and
and really, that wasn't the caseat all, mom and dad, they were
nowhere obsessed with thistopic. They were not obsessed
about it, but they wereintentional. And so, you know,

(08:05):
when it came down to theprincipal aspect of money, you
know, they really just taughtus, really on the ebb and flow
of life. It was nothing fancy,it was nothing glamorous. It was
just like, hey, you work, youget paid. You don't work, you
don't get paid. Okay, you work,you get some money. What do you
do with it? You get save andspend. And so they kind of just
walked it through really basicelements of money. And I think
the most important new thing,thing they did for us when it

(08:25):
came to our money, but also, Ithink of our lives. One great
thing as a parent, as parents,they did was they let us make
mistakes. And for me, that wasso key, because I think you
learn so much from from thosemistakes, and yet you can learn
without making mistakes, and seeother people's mistakes and be
like, Okay, I don't want to godown that road, but especially
when it comes to your money, tomake these small, insignificant

(08:46):
mistakes with money while you'reunder a roof, and it's under a
controlled environment, versusbeing out on my own, making my
first mistake, you know, whenI'm 22 and it's on a car lot,
and it's a 10s of 1000s ofdollars mistakes instead of a
$10 mistake. And so they reallywere great at that. They were
not this, like these controllingparents that, you know, watched
every little penny. They reallylet us learn. And sometimes that

(09:08):
was hard, and sometimes that wasgood.

Host (09:09):
You feel like you're planting a flag here and in this
space. Does it really still fireyou up? Is it something that
you've adopted as part of, like,your long term plan to be the
next generation of financialliteracy?

Rachel Cruze (09:22):
I think so, yeah. I mean, I'm so passionate about
those subjects, and I love it. Ilove my job. I love being able
to travel and speak and talk topeople and do media and really
insert into people's livesagain, the subject that is so
hopeless for so many people andso shameful, and so being able
to bring that light and thathope and that direction and that
instruction is, I do i i love itso much, and so I'm intentional

(09:46):
with the decisions I make andwork. It's not that I'm aloof to
it, but I really am, you know,just seeing what happens at the
next at the next phase. Yeah, ifit were up to me today, I would
definitely say this is this willbe in my future for many years
to come.

Host (10:00):
That's cool. And so the final little thing, Rachel is
just, if somebody's listeningand and maybe they haven't done
such a good job of filteringwhat they see on social media,
what would you say directly tothat, to that one person?

Rachel Cruze (10:12):
I would say that it's never too early and it's
never too late, no matter whereyou are today, no matter where
you're starting on the financialspectrum, whether you're deeply
in debt or even if you've you'reout of debt and you have, you
know, a million dollars inretirement, wherever you are on
the spectrum, you can still dobetter with money, day in and
day out, starting today. And Ilook back on my story, my
parents filed for bankruptcy theyear I was born. And so if they

(10:35):
can come out of it and raise afamily that is out of that
tradition of debt and havechanged their family tree,
anyone can. So don't let yourpast mistakes hinder your
future. You have to start today.But that's the thing is, it's
going to be hard. It's going tobe challenging creating good
money habits in your life. It'sgoing to take some time, and
it's going to take some pain,but pushing through, being

(10:56):
consistent on the on the otherside of all of this, it is so
worth it, because money will notcontrol you any longer. You will
control your money, and you willhave the power to be able to
say, You know what, these arethe decisions I want to make,
and you're going to be able todo them. And so again, no matter
where you are on the on the edgeof bankruptcy or all the way up,
if you feel like you've gottenyour life under control, just

(11:18):
know that every day, day in andday out, you can make a
difference in your life, and youcan make different money choices
to help you get to where youwant to go.

Host (11:26):
Rachel Cruze, my friends, Rachel Cruze, keep doing a good
thing. You're making a big, bigdifference in the world.

Rachel Cruze (11:31):
So appreciate you having me on. Thank you.