When Your Truer Voice Gets Louder

Arejay discusses the importance of making one's truest self louder, inspired by Dr. Becky Kennedy's LinkedIn post. She explains that practicing to amplify this voice leads to honoring personal needs, reducing people-pleasing, and learning to rest before burnout. The concept of "shoulds" is critically examined, urging individuals to question their origins and relevance. Arejay highlights the expansiveness felt when freeing oneself from external expectations and the importance of listening to one's body. Transitions towards authenticity can be rocky but are ultimately worthwhile, leading to a more intentional and aligned life.

Episode Transcript

Arejay (00:04):
What the fuck do you really want to say? What makes
your being come alive when youdo it? Shout out to Dr Becky
Kennedy for her LinkedIn postthat inspired this episode. Her
LinkedIn post she started off bysaying, our loudest thought
isn't our truest thought, justour most practiced one. And I

(00:27):
love that, because part of whatthat means is that we can make
our truest self louder withpractice. And I know this to be
true because I've done it andI've helped others do it. And so
I wanted to talk to you a littlebit about what happens when we

(00:48):
do begin to make our truest selflouder, right? When that voice
is what becomes the practicevoice, that voice is what
becomes the louder, strongervoice, instead of the little
quiet whisper that it tends tobe before we start doing the
work to come home to ourselves.So one of the things that

(01:11):
happens is you start to honoryour needs more. A lot of the
people pleasing begins to fallaway. You learn to rest before
you get to the point of burnout,because you can hear the inner

(01:32):
nudges asking you to pause,asking you to slow down, asking
for the rest, and you learn togive it to yourself and no's
don't make you cringe anymore,because you realize that they're
necessary. It's part of how youhonor yourself. It's part of how

(01:53):
others honor their truth. And soyou get way more comfortable
with no then how we react to theshoulds change. Like shoulds,
they begin to trigger that sameface, like when you smell

(02:13):
something rotten, and you beginto question, whenever those
shoulds pop up like, accordingto who, who says, Why do I think
I should? And soon enough, likeshould stops being good enough

(02:36):
reason for you to do something I
you feel an expansiveness inyour body that you've long
forgotten, right? And it's, it'sfrom this pressure of
expectation and the pressure ofurgency they begin to lose their

(03:02):
hold, right? Because a lot ofthat is placed in the shoulds
and the external expectations ofothers, and the things we learn
to wear and are trained torespond to and nurture and take
care of as though they were oursand they're not. So we begin

(03:22):
this to feel this expansivenessin our body, right? Like our
system can rest. Our system cansync with flows again. It can
feel the cycles, and it can movewith it, because we're not
constantly trying to pushthrough and we're not constantly
trying to move in unnatural waysanymore, because we can hear it.

(03:47):
We can see the signs, like ourbody is communicating with us
again and we're listening, whichis why it's communicating even
more strongly.
Then you begin to intentionallycreate your life from the
essence of who you are and notwho the world told you you're

(04:09):
supposed to be, right, yourtruth, your desire, your
aliveness. All these thingsbecome way more palpable and
become your guides to how youshow up, how you move, how you
live, how you think, how you be.And I'm not gonna lie to you,

(04:33):
because these transitionssometimes can be rocky. Right as
things are falling into place,there are a number of things
that are falling away, andsometimes that is scary,
sometimes that is painful,sometimes it can be any number
of emotions all at once and Justcreate this swirl, right? And

(04:59):
that's okay, but the louder yourtruer voice gets, the more
you're going to need to honor itand follow it, because it won't
leave you alone until you do andyou can hear it more clearly
now. So sometimes friends fallaway as you move closer to that

(05:20):
voice. Sometimes the activitiesyou used to enjoy no longer
resonate with you, and you findyourself unable to participate
in them, right? And there's aphase where there's this tug of

(05:40):
war between your truth and yourprogrammed mind. So your being
wants to do something or wantsto not do something, and your
mind will kick in and say, Hey,but you should, but you're
supposed to. There's somethingwrong. Why aren't you right? And

(06:02):
we need to get to a point wherewe're able to more clearly
discern whether it is ourprogrammed mind speaking or our
innate intelligence speaking,because both will let us know
when something is wrong, but theconditioned mind is letting us

(06:25):
know when it's wrong, accordingto others, okay? And you know,
even though these transitionscan be rocky, like you do have
some transitions that are reallybeautiful and more smooth, and
you do have some where you'rejust like, What the fuck did I
get myself into? But I promiseevery transition is worth it.

(06:50):
Every little bit of crumbling,every time you find yourself in
the messy middle of becoming andnot yet arrived, is absolutely
worth the treasure that is you.You