September 2, 2025 • 36 mins
Episode #221
As September rolls in, Terri and Heather invite you to embrace a “back-to-school” mindset—because it’s the perfect season for fresh starts.
In this week’s episode, they share practical strategies to recommit to your weight-loss and health journey, fine-tune what’s working, and leave behind what isn’t. Whether you’ve hit a plateau or just need a renewed sense of motivation, this episode will help you step into fall with clarity, confidence, and a plan that feels doable.
Terri’s new coaching program, Beyond Knowing: Living Your Transformation, starts September 16th. Places are limited to 25, so make sure to secure your place today.
https://www.thefastingmethod.com/beyond-knowing-living-your-transformation/
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Summary Timestamps
00:00 Intro
01:30 September as a fresh start, like the new school year
05:26 We are works in progress
07:00 Breaking your goal up into manageable chunks
12:39 Promotion - Beyond Knowing: Living Your Transformation
13:53 Two biggest reasons for failure to reach goals
15:28 Start with a base level of skills and build from there
19:14 September - recommit, audit, and refine
20:46 Pace and keeping records
25:18 Commit to consistency
31:44 Progress not perfection
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. You should always speak with your physician or other healthcare professional before doing any fasting, changing your diet, taking or adjusting any medication or supplements, or adopting any treatment for a health problem. The use of any other products or services purchased by you as a result of this podcast does not create a healthcare provider-patient relationship between you and any of the experts affiliated with this podcast. Information and statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You build from those base level of
skills as you progress through your
education.
We start with basic math and we
get to calculus.
We don't start there.
And I think that's another thing that people
need to recognize, is that they
want to come into this thing as experts.
Ain't no such thing as a beginner expert.
[music]
(00:26):
Welcome back to another episode of The
Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance and I
am joined by Coach Heather Shuker.
Heather, how are you today?
Doing great as usual, Terri.
How are you?
I'm very well, thanks.
All right, Heather, well, I think you and I
have a great topic that we're going to talk
about today.
We're both smiling right now because I think
(00:47):
we get kind of excited about this kind of
stuff. You can feel the energy.
Good thing we're not doing this on a video
because then people would be like, "Why are
they smiling so much?" [laughter]
We're going to talk about an important theme
at TFM right now, and that is
September being a time
to recommit to
(01:07):
your strategies that you're doing and your
goals, and to refine
how you're doing it.
So, Heather, I was thinking about
this and I was thinking about--
everyone knows I love to speak in analogies.
I think you do as well.
I'm still thinking about the video
game analogy episode that you
(01:29):
gave us. I was thinking about my
former career, my first career,
as a middle school teacher.
Yes, I paid my penance as six years
as a middle school teacher. [laughter]
One of the things I really remember
about that (as we come into September)
is, as much as I disliked
(01:49):
having to let go of my summer,
September was exciting because it
was a fresh start.
It was a new beginning.
Now, sometimes I had to move classrooms,
I had to pack, and move everything, and
unpack.
There were all these blank bulletin boards
that needed to be filled up.
I needed to create my theme
(02:09):
for the year and, you know,
my plans and everything, and kind of map
out what the year was going to be like.
And I know that I only
did it for six years, but I think
that, for some teachers,
it's easy to fall in that mindset of, "Here
we go again.
Same thing this year as
(02:30):
last year and the year before that.
When will it ever end?
I'm on year 22.
I've got three more."
And what I remember, for me (and
again, early in my career), I knew
I needed to see that as
fresh because they were different
kids coming in.
(02:51):
If I treated them and thought
about things the same way as the group
before, we were going to be off to a bad
start. I needed to be fresh.
I needed to have new ideas.
Now sure, teaching English was
going to happen the way teaching English
does, but I had taken
some workshops over the summer, I
(03:12):
had taken a college class, I had learned some
new strategies and things.
So I have this fresh
new attitude to get the year started.
Kind of like a little bit of
a blank slate, in that it's
a new imprint that we're going to make,
but not a blank slate in
that I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
(03:34):
I've got tons of experience now
and I've got new things that I can add
to it as needed.
So for me, that was a really important
way to start September.
I would go to the teacher store and I'd buy
all the fun, cutout things to
put on the bulletin boards.
I don't know what teachers do nowadays, they
probably just use holograms or something, but
(03:55):
[laughter] back
then we still had to staple cutouts
and things onto bulletin boards, but
it was really an exciting time.
And that's what I want to encourage people to
be thinking about as September
gets moving for them, as far as
their health journey, their weight-loss
(04:16):
journey, what they're doing with their
fasting and their nutrition.
LIven it up.
Recommit.
Like I couldn't say, "Well,
I hope I get through this year." No, it was
like, "I'm in it.
This is going to be a good year and
how can I make it fresh?
How can I bring in new
things that I'm learning?"
(04:36):
I love it, Terri. And I do think in not
just analogies, but also movie quotes.
And that whole picture that you were painting
(which was just so visceral and I loved it)
reminds me of that old movie You've Got Mail
with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, and
she talks about that back-to-school season.
And I think it was a, "Bouquet of
freshly-sharpened pencils," right?
(04:58):
Like, I feel like that smell just kind of
exemplifies this time of
year. And I admit it, I still
go to Target and get very excited with
the back-to-school section and all the
supplies. As a perpetual student, right?
[laughs] I have several
degrees.
It was just part of the rhythm of my life for
(05:19):
so long. So I can so relate
to this analogy of the fresh
start of the new school year.
And I think when it comes to things like the
weight-loss journey, a lot of us
can appreciate the magic
of a fresh start.
I think that's why so many of us are
excited about the New Year, or we want
(05:39):
to start on Monday, like the idea,
"Okay, it's a clean slate.
Let's start over." Now,
are we really starting
over? We've had these bodies for a long
time. We're not actually starting over.
The body has kept score the whole time.
And so not to, you know,
not to knock on that idea, but we've
(06:01):
been in it, we're still in it, we remain
in it. We are works in progress.
And, whilst I love that concept,
I also don't want us to forget
that we have that experience, like
you said. You know, you aren't starting as
a brand new teacher every single year.
As each year goes by, you have that much
(06:22):
more wisdom, that much more experience that
you earned from the previous school year
that, fortunately, that new set of pupils get
to learn from.
So there's that piece.
I was recently speaking with a college
professor.
And so I was trying to make a similar
analogy work for her, not speaking
of the fresh-start nature, but on the
(06:43):
vastness of what is required
when you are out to earn a college degree,
because we have some young people
these days that are starting their brand new
college. I know a lot of moms that are
dropping their kids off for the first time
or, you know, in the middle of their college
careers.
And from that perspective, it can
(07:03):
be very daunting to think about what is
required over those four years, five
for some, to get through that.
What do we do? What do we teach them?
It's like, you know, you don't do those four
years all at once.
You break it down.
So you got your major and then you-- I
know we used to have catalogs.
We used to have books where you looked at
what the requirements were and what the
(07:24):
descriptions for the classes were.
I think that's all changed, but still the
same concept applies.
You have a degree that you're trying to earn,
you break that down into credits that you
need, and then you break that down into
semesters.
And then, once you start school, you get your
syllabuses, syllabi [laughs],
and you look at the next few months as
(07:45):
to, you know, when are things due?
When is my study schedule going to be?
How am I going to organize myself?
And that is really what is required
at that level of kind of extended
planning, is what is required when you
have something big, like transforming
your lifestyle, is concerned.
It's not, "We're going to start on Monday and
(08:06):
see how it goes," right?
We're not going to start this next semester
and just kind of stumble our way through.
We've got a big goal that we're trying to
achieve. We need to break that down
by quarter and then break that down
by what actions do I need to take this week?
And I think when people start to realize
that-- you know, because I'm a weight-loss
(08:27):
coach, so that's always my frame of
reference. When people start to realize,
okay, it can feel very overwhelming
to lose 50 or 100 pounds, but
we're not doing that at one big chance, just
like we're not getting a college degree in
one big swoop.
We're breaking that all the way down to
what do we do in this week?
And we have a plan. We have a strategy.
(08:48):
We have a way to do it.
And that's what we teach at The Fasting
Method. We teach, okay, over
the course of the week, can we get in three
good fasts?
Can we start to work on not
snacking and grazing?
Can we start to adjust our way of eating
to one that is going to eventually
lead us to that goal down the road?
(09:09):
But for now, we've just got to focus on
what's right in front of us, and we have to
have a plan.
And new supplies.
Yes, definitely.
Stickers and calendars.
[laughter] Get the gold
stars!
One of the things I love about the way you
just described that is it's taking on
a large endeavor and breaking
it down into doable
(09:30):
parts.
If you were to talk to someone entering
college, you would not say, "Well, four
years," "six more years," or whatever,
you would take this semester.
And yes, there's going to be a series of
these, but we're going to chunk it, we're
going to put it into more manageable parts.
And some semesters
(or chunks) are going to be a little more
(09:50):
challenging for certain reasons, and some
semesters (or chunks) are going
to ease up a little bit for various reasons.
Maybe they're going to take a semester abroad
and they're going to get to see Europe while
they're taking their studies or whatever, but
chunking, I think, is a really important
part of this.
And I think oftentimes people come to
(10:11):
us at The Fasting Method with these
very large goals - "I want to lose 75
pounds," or, "I have 160 pounds I
want to lose." Let's look at it
in those semesters, in those chunks.
Let's focus on what's right
in front of us for this, whatever,
length of time, until it's
time to revise and do
(10:33):
the next chunk, so that it's not
daunting.
If I had thought, when I started college,
if I had known in my first--
we were on the quarter system, if I had known
in the first quarter, if I'd really thought
how many times I'm going to have to do this
again, I think I would have wanted
to drop out. [laughter] But
(10:53):
instead to just focus on the, yes,
there is a big path out there, but I'm
going to focus on this portion of the path
right now.
And as I go, I'm gonna
(as you've highlighted), I'm going to learn
things that help me on the next part of the
path.
And some of the next parts of the path will
still be a little bit unknown because
(11:15):
there's new stuff for me to learn about
how my body's responding to this,
what works for me now, what used to
work for me before that isn't working the
same way now.
So I love that idea of breaking it
down.
I don't know, I'm guessing you may have done
this as a student.
I tend to lose my organizational skills
once something really gets going, but man,
(11:37):
when that semester started, I'd
block my schedule in, and I'd highlight
little squares, and I'd set
up a plan of when what was due,
kind of like people creating their fasting
plan and their food plans.
Really giving yourself that structure.
Rather than, okay, you know, "Buckle
(11:58):
up because here we go," really
giving yourself that set
plan of how to do this next
portion.
Yes. And so that you're not just day-by-day
just kind of flailing around
not knowing what to do next.
When you have yourself organized in that way
and you see, okay, today is a fasting plan
(12:19):
and tomorrow I'm having two meals, you just
follow the plan.
You don't want to wake up every single day
and have to figure it out again.
It is so much better to wake
up and know what you're doing, and be
able to just execute, and not have to think
of it and execute all on the same day.
[music]
(12:39):
[promotion] Coach Terri here.
Have you been doing everything you know how
to do - fasting and eating
the right foods - and yet you are
still struggling with truly
reaching your weight-loss or health
goals?
TFM has just launched a
three-month, immersive coaching experience
with me to help you break through
(13:01):
the mindset and behavioral challenges
that have been holding you back from making
the true progress you have been striving
to reach.
Each week, we will meet for a 90 minute
session where I provide a brief
lesson, and then we all have the opportunity
to process how you can utilize
this insight and implement the necessary
(13:22):
changes to continue your progress.
There will also be journaling or reflection
prompts to keep you steadily integrating
your evolving mindset and behavior
strategies throughout.
To secure your space in this coaching
experience, click on the link in the show
notes or look for
Beyond Knowing (13:43):
Living Your Transformation
under the Programs tab on our website.
I look forward to seeing you there.
[music]
When I'm talking to people that are trying to
lose a significant amount of weight,
unfortunately, there's a high failure rate.
And I think the two biggest reasons that I
see that people don't hang in
(14:04):
there and get to goal.
Number one is poor stress management
and number two is lack of planning.
And so exactly what we're talking about
here. When people neglect that piece,
they think that they'll just kind of
wing it, they're not successful.
The people that are more successful are the
ones that at least have some idea
(14:26):
of what's coming up and what their plan is.
They're the ones that get out the calendar,
look at their social events, plan their fasts
around them.
You got your A students who have a complete
meal plan, and it's all portioned
out in the fridge.
That was never me! But they at least have an
idea of what they're going to eat the next
couple days. You know, they have a fasting
(14:47):
friend on hand in case they get into
trouble and they have hunger that they can't
otherwise manage.
And so that level, like
that base level of looking ahead
at what's coming next is, I think, required.
As you mentioned, it gets easier over
time. As you habituate, as
you learn the rhythms of fasting
(15:08):
and changing your way of eating, it becomes
less-- just brain energy
is required to think about it.
It just becomes, "Oh yeah, got it, got it."
Your grocery shopping changes and
that becomes a new habit.
I fasted Monday, Wednesday, Friday, so I just
knew it's Monday, I'm not eating and I didn't
have to think about it.
That just becomes the rhythm of your life.
(15:28):
So what you were talking about with things
building on each other, that's exactly right.
I was actually in a Community group meeting
this morning, and we were talking about food
order.
And a member said, "You know
what? I'm kind of early on, and that's
overwhelming. I'm trying to think of all this
other stuff and now you're adding this?" No.
We start with the basic
(15:50):
building blocks.
It's almost like you start out with, you
know, psych 101, freshman year,
and then you move on to abnormal
psychology, you move on to
early childhood development, or what have
you. You build from those base level
of skills as you progress through your
education.
We start with basic math and we
(16:11):
get to calculus.
We don't start there.
And I think that's another thing that people
need to recognize, is that they
want to come into this thing as experts,
ain't no such thing as a beginner expert.
So you've got to start with skill
level one. That goes back to our video game,
right?
You're gonna start with learning
(16:32):
those basic skills and practicing
them until you can advance through
your program.
Well, I'm gonna take your video
game analogy and I'm going
to raise you... [laughter]
No, this does go back to my college
experience.
I was in the Honors College, but I went to a
(16:52):
small high school that did not offer--
I had never even heard of AP
classes and taking an AP test
to comp out of some classes and take
more advanced classes and things.
So I got there and,
yeah, I was a kind of a top student in my
high school, but now I was with all the honor
(17:12):
students from all the schools that have all
this advanced stuff.
And I got placed into
math 110, because where does a beginner
of college start?
In the 100 level classes.
So I got placed in 110.
I'm like, okay, that makes sense.
And then I lived on the honors floor
and I'm listening to my floor
(17:33):
mates and they're all like, "Yeah,
I'm in math 310." And
I thought, what?
What's wrong with me that I'm not there?
They did math 110 back when they were in
seventh grade.
They still did it.
They didn't skip it.
There's no hurry, skip
everything else, and get to where you want to
(17:53):
go. They just, for whatever reasons,
were in an environment where they did it at a
different time in their journey than I did.
And I often hear people in TFM,
in the Community, in the Facebook
group and things kind of comparing
themselves. "Well I heard so-and-so's doing
66s so clearly I need to
do 66s," but they haven't
(18:14):
yet mastered the 16
hours.
66s are not going to work
if you haven't gotten good with the 16s.
So try not to jump
into that mindset of, "There's
a place I need to get to quickly, and I hear
some other people are already there." You've
got to go with where you are
(18:36):
and build the skills and move
up, and then build those skills
and move to that next level.
Now, I was an English major, so I never
made it to math 310, fortunately.
[laughter] I think I had to go
to like 112, so there was probably three
courses that I needed to take, but it
was similar in other types of classes.
(18:56):
When I started taking my English classes,
I didn't start in English 482,
I started in the 100s.
And as I knew how to write better
and know how to think differently,
I could move up through to the 200-level
classes, and then the 300-level
classes.
So using September
(19:17):
as a time to do a kind of audit
of where you are.
What do you know how to do?
What can you do right now based
on what's been happening?
Let's say, for example, I've been really off
track for the summer, spending
time at my lake house,
everyone bringing all kinds of food, and
(19:38):
I just feel really off track.
It doesn't matter that I stopped
in May doing two 48s,
I'm going to have to rebuild some of those
skills. So in that video game, I'm going to
replay skill levels
one through nine, and then I'll
be back to my previous
(19:58):
level of fasting.
But to really check in with yourself.
Where am I now?
What makes sense to be doing now?
Floundering like I was for the summer?
That's not okay. I'm not going to keep doing
that. We're here.
It's a fresh start.
Do I need to do some fat fasting?
Do I need to refocus on
(20:18):
TRE and not even plan any longer
fasts yet?
So using September (as the
title kind of encourages us) to think about
to recommit, audit where
we are, and then refine
it as we go.
Refine what we need, what we know
hasn't quite been working yet,
or the next step that we're ready for,
(20:41):
and keep adding to that
skill set that we have.
Oh, I love that so much.
And I also want to
pull out something that you talking about,
which is the pace issue,
right? When you're seeing other people in the
300s, where you see other people that
have already lost 40 pounds and you're like,
"I gotta go quick.
(21:02):
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick." I think
it is so common for people to
focus so intently
on how much further they need to go.
They just don't do a great job at
looking back and seeing how far they've come.
So that's issue number one, is
people not giving themselves the credit for,
you know, finishing math 110, like
(21:24):
getting to where they are now.
When I hear people say, "Oh, I just did a
24," and they're just kind
of downplaying that
fast, which, as you mentioned, some
people have to work up to a 16.
And so once we've kind of gone through
the first few layers, it's almost like
they didn't even count. We don't give
ourselves the credit for that level of
(21:46):
advancement.
That is why I'm such a huge proponent-- I
mentioned earlier, the gold stars.
I am such a huge proponent of
keeping record, keeping track
so that you can see that progress,
because there are other ways to feel
like you're making progress and moving
forward than just the darn scale.
(22:06):
It's a lagging indicator, it is not
an input/output machine in the way that we
want it to be, and so it
can sometimes be discouraging.
Whereas if you set up
a plan for yourself and you
said-- like, you know, I'm sure you set
yourself up for the semester-- yes, I used to
have a grid and I think it was 16-week
(22:26):
semesters.
And so it would be every single week, and
I would have little blocks, and it would show
when my tests were due, when my papers were
due, and I would cross
them off as I went ahead so I could see
myself progressing through the semester.
And I think that is what we--
as a faster, I also did that.
(22:46):
I had my little F's.
And then as I fast-- on my calendar and,
as I fasted, I would give myself
a gold star and I would write how many hours
that fast was.
I still have the receipts of all of
the fasts that I did, and I have the gold
stars for all of the exercises that I
did. I can look back
for decades and see
(23:07):
the progress that I made and the effort that
I put forward for myself.
And I think that that's an important thing to
have so that you can say,
"Okay, the scale is not doing what I want it
to. Maybe I had a whole lot of insulin
resistance to push through before the scale
is going to respond, but I showed
up.
I am doing what it takes."
(23:29):
And when it comes to this process that we're
talking about, you actually need those
reps to transform your behavior.
You need that consistency of behavior
if you want to have any chance for
sustainable change.
So it's not like it's wasted if the scale
doesn't move.
All those times that you showed
up for your TRE, all
(23:51):
those fasts you showed up for, all those
daily walks that you showed up for, all
of that is not lost energy.
Those are all reps.
Those are all votes for the person
that you are trying to become, as James Clear
would say.
And so that's not nothing.
And if you not only do it but then track
(24:11):
it and you can see that progress building,
I think it can really be wind on your back
when times are tough, and
it's not a fresh start anymore, and you're
just in the middle of it.
You got a lot of exams coming up and papers
due, and it feels a little miserable,
you can see like, "Well, hey, I've
(24:31):
gotten this far.
I want to keep going," and that can
really be the push to help you stay on track.
Absolutely.
Now I'm totally picturing my folder
or binder or whatever I had at the start of
each quarter because I would.
One, I was probably doing it as a
distraction for myself while sitting in
class, but I would make a little chart
(24:52):
of how many times I had to come to this
class, and then I would start checking them
off. I would be like, "Hey, I only have to go
for more times." But I did do
that while I was fasting.
Mine was not very elaborate.
I just had a little page on my phone,
and I would just write the week, and then I
would check off each fast that I did, but it
was really helpful for me to see
(25:14):
that. So I love that reminder
for myself.
Heather, you mentioned something in that last
piece that I wanted to hop on
because it's like, what are you
recommitting to?
And I think sometimes we think, "Oh,
I'm recommitting to something that's
really hard," and we get all bogged
(25:35):
down in that.
What if you look at it as something
more long term.
Something you're going to need all the way to
maintenance and beyond is,
"I'm going to commit to consistency,
not perfection.
I'm going to commit to consistency."
The payoff is in the consistency,
(25:56):
like you said.
It's not just the number on the scale,
but it's all of those other changes
that are happening when you are
engaging in consistent behavior.
I had a talk with a client a week or two ago,
and she's experimenting a little bit right
now and eating primarily
carnivore for a month or so because
(26:18):
she's had high insulin resistance, a
lot of cravings, and a lot of hunger
that have just made practicing some of the
other skills really complicated for her.
So, when I last met with her, she had been
doing more carnivore eating for two weeks
and she was just on cloud nine, like, "Oh
my gosh, I can't believe my hunger is so much
different, my cravings are
(26:40):
gone. I can't believe the food freedom
that I feel." And then I could hear
the pause and she said,
"But what if I do this for a month
and I don't see the weight loss?"
Like, already second-guessing
this out of fear that
that marker might not change yet.
(27:00):
And I just had to kind of encourage her,
"Look back at all the good stuff you just
shared with me.
Look back at how much better you feel about
how you're going to navigate each day
because the food noise got quieter
because you feel satiated.
What if that number on the scale doesn't
move yet in a month?
Aren't all of these things worth it?
(27:22):
And these, again, will be the consistency
that eventually makes
those other markers move."
But so many of us, we're looking
for that one so much that we abandon
the efforts when we don't see it.
And so really targeting, as
you highlighted, those other things that show
(27:43):
us, "Wow, I've been able
to do TRE for 39 days
now." And as you said, that's not nothing.
That's really impressive.
Keep it going.
That's the win right there.
Exactly.
When it comes to what I
talk to people about - weight loss - I
always start a client relationship
(28:06):
beginning with the end in mind.
Going off Stephen Covey, right?
Because ultimately, not
that it's a waste of time to lose the weight
(because you still earn a whole lot of skills
when you do so), but if you get to
that goal weight and you have done
nothing to fix your relationship
with food, to kind of reestablish
(28:27):
your patterns, your identity, etc.,
that scale is going to be like a rubber band
and go right back to where it was.
And so part of the process that
I'm working on with my coaching clients is
not just getting them to
their scale weight. Yes, I say, "I'm a
weight-loss coach," because I know that's
what people want to hear. That's what I
wanted to hear. But ultimately, I'm a health
(28:48):
coach. I want people to
reclaim the health that is their birthright
and get them to the highest level that they
can, and weight loss is usually part of that
path.
But if people
only fixate on the scale and only
are like, "By any means necessary,"
it doesn't even stay off, right?
(29:09):
So a big piece that I'm working
with people on is like, okay, well,
when you're in a social situation
and you need to practice eating a certain
way while there, the scale's probably
not going to move, but you're
earning that experience and that wisdom
that's going to serve you, right?
When you are in a circumstance
(29:31):
where fasting is not on tap
for you because you're stressed out, do
not fret about the fact that the scale
might not move those couple of weeks.
Be grateful that you have those couple
weeks of TRE that are going to serve
you in the end.
So there is always an opportunity to
practice all of the skills that
(29:51):
you need long term in the
midst of this journey, no matter what comes
at you. No matter what stress, no matter
which holidays, no matter which vacations,
all of those are going to keep coming for the
rest of your days, there's always skill
advancement.
And sometimes that skill advancement
and those reps don't move the scale, but that
doesn't mean that you aren't getting
(30:14):
closer and closer to where you will
eventually need to be.
I'm going to tie that back into my middle
school teaching analogy,
and I feel like it would be
me looking at my students writing--
I taught English and we had a writing-based
curriculum.
It would be like me looking at their writing
(30:34):
every week and evaluating
if I had been a successful teacher.
They're developing.
They're growing. They're learning.
They're learning where to implement those new
ways of thinking and ways of putting it
together in their writing.
And I have to celebrate those
wins when I see it.
Like, "Oh, look how you use the dialog
(30:55):
here. That really worked well in your piece.
Let's work on the punctuation a little bit
and let me show you how to do this part."
But if every week
when I looked at their work and thought,
"They're not where they
need to be for ninth grade," yeah,
this is month two of eighth
grade.
I've gotta look at them where they are
(31:18):
and see the successes, and see
the developing skills, and the developing
successes, not just
keep checking in, "Are they there yet?
Are they there yet?" Because that's going to
be really defeating for me as a teacher
and it's going to trickle down to them.
They're going to feel really defeated because
they're going to hear me, "Well, you're not
(31:39):
there yet," you know, versus, "Oh
my gosh, look at how you did this.
That's awesome."
Can I get a huge, loud amen over that
because one of the quotes that I love and
I keep repeating is that failure
screams and success whispers.
And that is exactly it.
We are so focused
on how we're slipping up, how we're
(32:01):
not being perfect, how we're not there yet,
how we don't-- we haven't had everything
perfectly on track this week, and
so we're not doing the absolute
most that we possibly could at any given
moment to go as fast as we can and get to go
a little- oh, my gosh, like, can we please
give ourselves credit for what we're doing?
(32:22):
And like you said, okay, the punctuation is
not on board, but look at that dialog,
right? We've got something to work with here.
So many times I'll meet with clients--
and I start my meetings with, "Tell me your
wins," because I realized
that people would just immediately
start going on about the mistakes they made
(32:43):
and wanting to tell me every last bite that
they took.
The confessional.
Exactly, exactly, like I'm a priest.
I am not ordained. I cannot absolve
you, nor do you need to be.
You know? I think it's hard because I don't
think it's human nature.
We are negativity-bias people.
We latch on to what we're doing
wrong. So it's something that we need
(33:05):
to practice.
We need to look for those wins, just
like we would in children, just like we,
you know, try to give a dog a treat when it
does what we want it to.
You know, we want to catch ourselves winning,
as it were, so that we can build
on that. We want to build on our wins.
We don't want to hyper fixate on what we're
doing wrong.
(33:25):
And again, that college student--
you know, I'm guessing many of us,
if we went to college, we had a class
or two that we didn't do so well in.
You know, it's the one area
in our report card or our grade point
average that, yeah, we took a little hit
there. We struggled in that class.
(33:46):
I look at some of the classes that I
struggled in early on in my journey
and realize it was partly because I didn't
yet have the skills for it.
You know, I took a course on Beowulf,
an English class on Beowulf.
I was so proud of my final exam
essay that I wrote, and I got it back
and the instructor said, "Next time you write
(34:07):
an essay about the book, you might want to
spell the title right!" [laughter]
Oh!
Okay, so maybe I needed to work on some basic
skills. But anyway,
the places where I struggled the most is
where I was stretching myself.
And yeah, it didn't look so pretty at first,
but I was pretty pleased that I could take
that class on Beowulf, this,
(34:30):
you know, old piece of literature and pull
something from it. So just giving
ourselves that credit.
Even when it doesn't look pretty, even when
it doesn't feel easy or great,
knowing that we're doing it.
I shared with you when we first hopped on
today that I had just come back from my
workout this morning with my personal
trainer.
(34:51):
It was a really hard workout.
I cannot not go into whining voice as
I talk about it.
It was so hard, but
I'm so glad I did it.
And it didn't look pretty.
It didn't look pretty at all, and it
didn't feel nice,
but what an accomplishment.
And I hope people carry that with them.
(35:12):
You're going to struggle some in September as
you're recommitting and refining
what you're doing. And that's okay.
We're not meant to do it all pretty and
perfect.
It's work. It's challenging.
So get dirty with it, you know?
Make it not so pretty, but engage
it.
Right. And stick with it because it's worth
it. You come out the other end with a sense
(35:34):
of accomplishment and, in terms
of what we're talking about, better health.
That's right.
You don't have a better asset.
There's nothing better than
good health. It's worth every bit of the
effort and worth fighting for.
Absolutely.
Well, Heather, again, I'm pretty sure you
and I could keep going back and forth with
this for a long time because it's something
(35:55):
we're both really invested in, thinking
these ways. I hope this episode
really lands with people and really gets
you working on recommitting
to what you're doing and refining it as
you go.
And we will be back with another episode
soon. Take good care, everyone.
Make good choices.
You build from those base level of
skills as you progress through your
education.
We start with basic math and we
get to calculus.
We don't start there.
And I think that's another thing that people
need to recognize, is that they
want to come into this thing as experts.
Ain't no such thing as a beginner expert.
[music]
(00:26):
Welcome back to another episode of The
Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance and I
am joined by Coach Heather Shuker.
Heather, how are you today?
Doing great as usual, Terri.
How are you?
I'm very well, thanks.
All right, Heather, well, I think you and I
have a great topic that we're going to talk
about today.
We're both smiling right now because I think
(00:47):
we get kind of excited about this kind of
stuff. You can feel the energy.
Good thing we're not doing this on a video
because then people would be like, "Why are
they smiling so much?" [laughter]
We're going to talk about an important theme
at TFM right now, and that is
September being a time
to recommit to
(01:07):
your strategies that you're doing and your
goals, and to refine
how you're doing it.
So, Heather, I was thinking about
this and I was thinking about--
everyone knows I love to speak in analogies.
I think you do as well.
I'm still thinking about the video
game analogy episode that you
(01:29):
gave us. I was thinking about my
former career, my first career,
as a middle school teacher.
Yes, I paid my penance as six years
as a middle school teacher. [laughter]
One of the things I really remember
about that (as we come into September)
is, as much as I disliked
(01:49):
having to let go of my summer,
September was exciting because it
was a fresh start.
It was a new beginning.
Now, sometimes I had to move classrooms,
I had to pack, and move everything, and
unpack.
There were all these blank bulletin boards
that needed to be filled up.
I needed to create my theme
(02:09):
for the year and, you know,
my plans and everything, and kind of map
out what the year was going to be like.
And I know that I only
did it for six years, but I think
that, for some teachers,
it's easy to fall in that mindset of, "Here
we go again.
Same thing this year as
(02:30):
last year and the year before that.
When will it ever end?
I'm on year 22.
I've got three more."
And what I remember, for me (and
again, early in my career), I knew
I needed to see that as
fresh because they were different
kids coming in.
(02:51):
If I treated them and thought
about things the same way as the group
before, we were going to be off to a bad
start. I needed to be fresh.
I needed to have new ideas.
Now sure, teaching English was
going to happen the way teaching English
does, but I had taken
some workshops over the summer, I
(03:12):
had taken a college class, I had learned some
new strategies and things.
So I have this fresh
new attitude to get the year started.
Kind of like a little bit of
a blank slate, in that it's
a new imprint that we're going to make,
but not a blank slate in
that I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
(03:34):
I've got tons of experience now
and I've got new things that I can add
to it as needed.
So for me, that was a really important
way to start September.
I would go to the teacher store and I'd buy
all the fun, cutout things to
put on the bulletin boards.
I don't know what teachers do nowadays, they
probably just use holograms or something, but
(03:55):
[laughter] back
then we still had to staple cutouts
and things onto bulletin boards, but
it was really an exciting time.
And that's what I want to encourage people to
be thinking about as September
gets moving for them, as far as
their health journey, their weight-loss
(04:16):
journey, what they're doing with their
fasting and their nutrition.
LIven it up.
Recommit.
Like I couldn't say, "Well,
I hope I get through this year." No, it was
like, "I'm in it.
This is going to be a good year and
how can I make it fresh?
How can I bring in new
things that I'm learning?"
(04:36):
I love it, Terri. And I do think in not
just analogies, but also movie quotes.
And that whole picture that you were painting
(which was just so visceral and I loved it)
reminds me of that old movie You've Got Mail
with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, and
she talks about that back-to-school season.
And I think it was a, "Bouquet of
freshly-sharpened pencils," right?
(04:58):
Like, I feel like that smell just kind of
exemplifies this time of
year. And I admit it, I still
go to Target and get very excited with
the back-to-school section and all the
supplies. As a perpetual student, right?
[laughs] I have several
degrees.
It was just part of the rhythm of my life for
(05:19):
so long. So I can so relate
to this analogy of the fresh
start of the new school year.
And I think when it comes to things like the
weight-loss journey, a lot of us
can appreciate the magic
of a fresh start.
I think that's why so many of us are
excited about the New Year, or we want
(05:39):
to start on Monday, like the idea,
"Okay, it's a clean slate.
Let's start over." Now,
are we really starting
over? We've had these bodies for a long
time. We're not actually starting over.
The body has kept score the whole time.
And so not to, you know,
not to knock on that idea, but we've
(06:01):
been in it, we're still in it, we remain
in it. We are works in progress.
And, whilst I love that concept,
I also don't want us to forget
that we have that experience, like
you said. You know, you aren't starting as
a brand new teacher every single year.
As each year goes by, you have that much
(06:22):
more wisdom, that much more experience that
you earned from the previous school year
that, fortunately, that new set of pupils get
to learn from.
So there's that piece.
I was recently speaking with a college
professor.
And so I was trying to make a similar
analogy work for her, not speaking
of the fresh-start nature, but on the
(06:43):
vastness of what is required
when you are out to earn a college degree,
because we have some young people
these days that are starting their brand new
college. I know a lot of moms that are
dropping their kids off for the first time
or, you know, in the middle of their college
careers.
And from that perspective, it can
(07:03):
be very daunting to think about what is
required over those four years, five
for some, to get through that.
What do we do? What do we teach them?
It's like, you know, you don't do those four
years all at once.
You break it down.
So you got your major and then you-- I
know we used to have catalogs.
We used to have books where you looked at
what the requirements were and what the
(07:24):
descriptions for the classes were.
I think that's all changed, but still the
same concept applies.
You have a degree that you're trying to earn,
you break that down into credits that you
need, and then you break that down into
semesters.
And then, once you start school, you get your
syllabuses, syllabi [laughs],
and you look at the next few months as
(07:45):
to, you know, when are things due?
When is my study schedule going to be?
How am I going to organize myself?
And that is really what is required
at that level of kind of extended
planning, is what is required when you
have something big, like transforming
your lifestyle, is concerned.
It's not, "We're going to start on Monday and
(08:06):
see how it goes," right?
We're not going to start this next semester
and just kind of stumble our way through.
We've got a big goal that we're trying to
achieve. We need to break that down
by quarter and then break that down
by what actions do I need to take this week?
And I think when people start to realize
that-- you know, because I'm a weight-loss
(08:27):
coach, so that's always my frame of
reference. When people start to realize,
okay, it can feel very overwhelming
to lose 50 or 100 pounds, but
we're not doing that at one big chance, just
like we're not getting a college degree in
one big swoop.
We're breaking that all the way down to
what do we do in this week?
And we have a plan. We have a strategy.
(08:48):
We have a way to do it.
And that's what we teach at The Fasting
Method. We teach, okay, over
the course of the week, can we get in three
good fasts?
Can we start to work on not
snacking and grazing?
Can we start to adjust our way of eating
to one that is going to eventually
lead us to that goal down the road?
(09:09):
But for now, we've just got to focus on
what's right in front of us, and we have to
have a plan.
And new supplies.
Yes, definitely.
Stickers and calendars.
[laughter] Get the gold
stars!
One of the things I love about the way you
just described that is it's taking on
a large endeavor and breaking
it down into doable
(09:30):
parts.
If you were to talk to someone entering
college, you would not say, "Well, four
years," "six more years," or whatever,
you would take this semester.
And yes, there's going to be a series of
these, but we're going to chunk it, we're
going to put it into more manageable parts.
And some semesters
(or chunks) are going to be a little more
(09:50):
challenging for certain reasons, and some
semesters (or chunks) are going
to ease up a little bit for various reasons.
Maybe they're going to take a semester abroad
and they're going to get to see Europe while
they're taking their studies or whatever, but
chunking, I think, is a really important
part of this.
And I think oftentimes people come to
(10:11):
us at The Fasting Method with these
very large goals - "I want to lose 75
pounds," or, "I have 160 pounds I
want to lose." Let's look at it
in those semesters, in those chunks.
Let's focus on what's right
in front of us for this, whatever,
length of time, until it's
time to revise and do
(10:33):
the next chunk, so that it's not
daunting.
If I had thought, when I started college,
if I had known in my first--
we were on the quarter system, if I had known
in the first quarter, if I'd really thought
how many times I'm going to have to do this
again, I think I would have wanted
to drop out. [laughter] But
(10:53):
instead to just focus on the, yes,
there is a big path out there, but I'm
going to focus on this portion of the path
right now.
And as I go, I'm gonna
(as you've highlighted), I'm going to learn
things that help me on the next part of the
path.
And some of the next parts of the path will
still be a little bit unknown because
(11:15):
there's new stuff for me to learn about
how my body's responding to this,
what works for me now, what used to
work for me before that isn't working the
same way now.
So I love that idea of breaking it
down.
I don't know, I'm guessing you may have done
this as a student.
I tend to lose my organizational skills
once something really gets going, but man,
(11:37):
when that semester started, I'd
block my schedule in, and I'd highlight
little squares, and I'd set
up a plan of when what was due,
kind of like people creating their fasting
plan and their food plans.
Really giving yourself that structure.
Rather than, okay, you know, "Buckle
(11:58):
up because here we go," really
giving yourself that set
plan of how to do this next
portion.
Yes. And so that you're not just day-by-day
just kind of flailing around
not knowing what to do next.
When you have yourself organized in that way
and you see, okay, today is a fasting plan
(12:19):
and tomorrow I'm having two meals, you just
follow the plan.
You don't want to wake up every single day
and have to figure it out again.
It is so much better to wake
up and know what you're doing, and be
able to just execute, and not have to think
of it and execute all on the same day.
[music]
(12:39):
[promotion] Coach Terri here.
Have you been doing everything you know how
to do - fasting and eating
the right foods - and yet you are
still struggling with truly
reaching your weight-loss or health
goals?
TFM has just launched a
three-month, immersive coaching experience
with me to help you break through
(13:01):
the mindset and behavioral challenges
that have been holding you back from making
the true progress you have been striving
to reach.
Each week, we will meet for a 90 minute
session where I provide a brief
lesson, and then we all have the opportunity
to process how you can utilize
this insight and implement the necessary
(13:22):
changes to continue your progress.
There will also be journaling or reflection
prompts to keep you steadily integrating
your evolving mindset and behavior
strategies throughout.
To secure your space in this coaching
experience, click on the link in the show
notes or look for
Beyond Knowing (13:43):
Living Your Transformation
under the Programs tab on our website.
I look forward to seeing you there.
[music]
When I'm talking to people that are trying to
lose a significant amount of weight,
unfortunately, there's a high failure rate.
And I think the two biggest reasons that I
see that people don't hang in
(14:04):
there and get to goal.
Number one is poor stress management
and number two is lack of planning.
And so exactly what we're talking about
here. When people neglect that piece,
they think that they'll just kind of
wing it, they're not successful.
The people that are more successful are the
ones that at least have some idea
(14:26):
of what's coming up and what their plan is.
They're the ones that get out the calendar,
look at their social events, plan their fasts
around them.
You got your A students who have a complete
meal plan, and it's all portioned
out in the fridge.
That was never me! But they at least have an
idea of what they're going to eat the next
couple days. You know, they have a fasting
(14:47):
friend on hand in case they get into
trouble and they have hunger that they can't
otherwise manage.
And so that level, like
that base level of looking ahead
at what's coming next is, I think, required.
As you mentioned, it gets easier over
time. As you habituate, as
you learn the rhythms of fasting
(15:08):
and changing your way of eating, it becomes
less-- just brain energy
is required to think about it.
It just becomes, "Oh yeah, got it, got it."
Your grocery shopping changes and
that becomes a new habit.
I fasted Monday, Wednesday, Friday, so I just
knew it's Monday, I'm not eating and I didn't
have to think about it.
That just becomes the rhythm of your life.
(15:28):
So what you were talking about with things
building on each other, that's exactly right.
I was actually in a Community group meeting
this morning, and we were talking about food
order.
And a member said, "You know
what? I'm kind of early on, and that's
overwhelming. I'm trying to think of all this
other stuff and now you're adding this?" No.
We start with the basic
(15:50):
building blocks.
It's almost like you start out with, you
know, psych 101, freshman year,
and then you move on to abnormal
psychology, you move on to
early childhood development, or what have
you. You build from those base level
of skills as you progress through your
education.
We start with basic math and we
(16:11):
get to calculus.
We don't start there.
And I think that's another thing that people
need to recognize, is that they
want to come into this thing as experts,
ain't no such thing as a beginner expert.
So you've got to start with skill
level one. That goes back to our video game,
right?
You're gonna start with learning
(16:32):
those basic skills and practicing
them until you can advance through
your program.
Well, I'm gonna take your video
game analogy and I'm going
to raise you... [laughter]
No, this does go back to my college
experience.
I was in the Honors College, but I went to a
(16:52):
small high school that did not offer--
I had never even heard of AP
classes and taking an AP test
to comp out of some classes and take
more advanced classes and things.
So I got there and,
yeah, I was a kind of a top student in my
high school, but now I was with all the honor
(17:12):
students from all the schools that have all
this advanced stuff.
And I got placed into
math 110, because where does a beginner
of college start?
In the 100 level classes.
So I got placed in 110.
I'm like, okay, that makes sense.
And then I lived on the honors floor
and I'm listening to my floor
(17:33):
mates and they're all like, "Yeah,
I'm in math 310." And
I thought, what?
What's wrong with me that I'm not there?
They did math 110 back when they were in
seventh grade.
They still did it.
They didn't skip it.
There's no hurry, skip
everything else, and get to where you want to
(17:53):
go. They just, for whatever reasons,
were in an environment where they did it at a
different time in their journey than I did.
And I often hear people in TFM,
in the Community, in the Facebook
group and things kind of comparing
themselves. "Well I heard so-and-so's doing
66s so clearly I need to
do 66s," but they haven't
(18:14):
yet mastered the 16
hours.
66s are not going to work
if you haven't gotten good with the 16s.
So try not to jump
into that mindset of, "There's
a place I need to get to quickly, and I hear
some other people are already there." You've
got to go with where you are
(18:36):
and build the skills and move
up, and then build those skills
and move to that next level.
Now, I was an English major, so I never
made it to math 310, fortunately.
[laughter] I think I had to go
to like 112, so there was probably three
courses that I needed to take, but it
was similar in other types of classes.
(18:56):
When I started taking my English classes,
I didn't start in English 482,
I started in the 100s.
And as I knew how to write better
and know how to think differently,
I could move up through to the 200-level
classes, and then the 300-level
classes.
So using September
(19:17):
as a time to do a kind of audit
of where you are.
What do you know how to do?
What can you do right now based
on what's been happening?
Let's say, for example, I've been really off
track for the summer, spending
time at my lake house,
everyone bringing all kinds of food, and
(19:38):
I just feel really off track.
It doesn't matter that I stopped
in May doing two 48s,
I'm going to have to rebuild some of those
skills. So in that video game, I'm going to
replay skill levels
one through nine, and then I'll
be back to my previous
(19:58):
level of fasting.
But to really check in with yourself.
Where am I now?
What makes sense to be doing now?
Floundering like I was for the summer?
That's not okay. I'm not going to keep doing
that. We're here.
It's a fresh start.
Do I need to do some fat fasting?
Do I need to refocus on
(20:18):
TRE and not even plan any longer
fasts yet?
So using September (as the
title kind of encourages us) to think about
to recommit, audit where
we are, and then refine
it as we go.
Refine what we need, what we know
hasn't quite been working yet,
or the next step that we're ready for,
(20:41):
and keep adding to that
skill set that we have.
Oh, I love that so much.
And I also want to
pull out something that you talking about,
which is the pace issue,
right? When you're seeing other people in the
300s, where you see other people that
have already lost 40 pounds and you're like,
"I gotta go quick.
(21:02):
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick." I think
it is so common for people to
focus so intently
on how much further they need to go.
They just don't do a great job at
looking back and seeing how far they've come.
So that's issue number one, is
people not giving themselves the credit for,
you know, finishing math 110, like
(21:24):
getting to where they are now.
When I hear people say, "Oh, I just did a
24," and they're just kind
of downplaying that
fast, which, as you mentioned, some
people have to work up to a 16.
And so once we've kind of gone through
the first few layers, it's almost like
they didn't even count. We don't give
ourselves the credit for that level of
(21:46):
advancement.
That is why I'm such a huge proponent-- I
mentioned earlier, the gold stars.
I am such a huge proponent of
keeping record, keeping track
so that you can see that progress,
because there are other ways to feel
like you're making progress and moving
forward than just the darn scale.
(22:06):
It's a lagging indicator, it is not
an input/output machine in the way that we
want it to be, and so it
can sometimes be discouraging.
Whereas if you set up
a plan for yourself and you
said-- like, you know, I'm sure you set
yourself up for the semester-- yes, I used to
have a grid and I think it was 16-week
(22:26):
semesters.
And so it would be every single week, and
I would have little blocks, and it would show
when my tests were due, when my papers were
due, and I would cross
them off as I went ahead so I could see
myself progressing through the semester.
And I think that is what we--
as a faster, I also did that.
(22:46):
I had my little F's.
And then as I fast-- on my calendar and,
as I fasted, I would give myself
a gold star and I would write how many hours
that fast was.
I still have the receipts of all of
the fasts that I did, and I have the gold
stars for all of the exercises that I
did. I can look back
for decades and see
(23:07):
the progress that I made and the effort that
I put forward for myself.
And I think that that's an important thing to
have so that you can say,
"Okay, the scale is not doing what I want it
to. Maybe I had a whole lot of insulin
resistance to push through before the scale
is going to respond, but I showed
up.
I am doing what it takes."
(23:29):
And when it comes to this process that we're
talking about, you actually need those
reps to transform your behavior.
You need that consistency of behavior
if you want to have any chance for
sustainable change.
So it's not like it's wasted if the scale
doesn't move.
All those times that you showed
up for your TRE, all
(23:51):
those fasts you showed up for, all those
daily walks that you showed up for, all
of that is not lost energy.
Those are all reps.
Those are all votes for the person
that you are trying to become, as James Clear
would say.
And so that's not nothing.
And if you not only do it but then track
(24:11):
it and you can see that progress building,
I think it can really be wind on your back
when times are tough, and
it's not a fresh start anymore, and you're
just in the middle of it.
You got a lot of exams coming up and papers
due, and it feels a little miserable,
you can see like, "Well, hey, I've
(24:31):
gotten this far.
I want to keep going," and that can
really be the push to help you stay on track.
Absolutely.
Now I'm totally picturing my folder
or binder or whatever I had at the start of
each quarter because I would.
One, I was probably doing it as a
distraction for myself while sitting in
class, but I would make a little chart
(24:52):
of how many times I had to come to this
class, and then I would start checking them
off. I would be like, "Hey, I only have to go
for more times." But I did do
that while I was fasting.
Mine was not very elaborate.
I just had a little page on my phone,
and I would just write the week, and then I
would check off each fast that I did, but it
was really helpful for me to see
(25:14):
that. So I love that reminder
for myself.
Heather, you mentioned something in that last
piece that I wanted to hop on
because it's like, what are you
recommitting to?
And I think sometimes we think, "Oh,
I'm recommitting to something that's
really hard," and we get all bogged
(25:35):
down in that.
What if you look at it as something
more long term.
Something you're going to need all the way to
maintenance and beyond is,
"I'm going to commit to consistency,
not perfection.
I'm going to commit to consistency."
The payoff is in the consistency,
(25:56):
like you said.
It's not just the number on the scale,
but it's all of those other changes
that are happening when you are
engaging in consistent behavior.
I had a talk with a client a week or two ago,
and she's experimenting a little bit right
now and eating primarily
carnivore for a month or so because
(26:18):
she's had high insulin resistance, a
lot of cravings, and a lot of hunger
that have just made practicing some of the
other skills really complicated for her.
So, when I last met with her, she had been
doing more carnivore eating for two weeks
and she was just on cloud nine, like, "Oh
my gosh, I can't believe my hunger is so much
different, my cravings are
(26:40):
gone. I can't believe the food freedom
that I feel." And then I could hear
the pause and she said,
"But what if I do this for a month
and I don't see the weight loss?"
Like, already second-guessing
this out of fear that
that marker might not change yet.
(27:00):
And I just had to kind of encourage her,
"Look back at all the good stuff you just
shared with me.
Look back at how much better you feel about
how you're going to navigate each day
because the food noise got quieter
because you feel satiated.
What if that number on the scale doesn't
move yet in a month?
Aren't all of these things worth it?
(27:22):
And these, again, will be the consistency
that eventually makes
those other markers move."
But so many of us, we're looking
for that one so much that we abandon
the efforts when we don't see it.
And so really targeting, as
you highlighted, those other things that show
(27:43):
us, "Wow, I've been able
to do TRE for 39 days
now." And as you said, that's not nothing.
That's really impressive.
Keep it going.
That's the win right there.
Exactly.
When it comes to what I
talk to people about - weight loss - I
always start a client relationship
(28:06):
beginning with the end in mind.
Going off Stephen Covey, right?
Because ultimately, not
that it's a waste of time to lose the weight
(because you still earn a whole lot of skills
when you do so), but if you get to
that goal weight and you have done
nothing to fix your relationship
with food, to kind of reestablish
(28:27):
your patterns, your identity, etc.,
that scale is going to be like a rubber band
and go right back to where it was.
And so part of the process that
I'm working on with my coaching clients is
not just getting them to
their scale weight. Yes, I say, "I'm a
weight-loss coach," because I know that's
what people want to hear. That's what I
wanted to hear. But ultimately, I'm a health
(28:48):
coach. I want people to
reclaim the health that is their birthright
and get them to the highest level that they
can, and weight loss is usually part of that
path.
But if people
only fixate on the scale and only
are like, "By any means necessary,"
it doesn't even stay off, right?
(29:09):
So a big piece that I'm working
with people on is like, okay, well,
when you're in a social situation
and you need to practice eating a certain
way while there, the scale's probably
not going to move, but you're
earning that experience and that wisdom
that's going to serve you, right?
When you are in a circumstance
(29:31):
where fasting is not on tap
for you because you're stressed out, do
not fret about the fact that the scale
might not move those couple of weeks.
Be grateful that you have those couple
weeks of TRE that are going to serve
you in the end.
So there is always an opportunity to
practice all of the skills that
(29:51):
you need long term in the
midst of this journey, no matter what comes
at you. No matter what stress, no matter
which holidays, no matter which vacations,
all of those are going to keep coming for the
rest of your days, there's always skill
advancement.
And sometimes that skill advancement
and those reps don't move the scale, but that
doesn't mean that you aren't getting
(30:14):
closer and closer to where you will
eventually need to be.
I'm going to tie that back into my middle
school teaching analogy,
and I feel like it would be
me looking at my students writing--
I taught English and we had a writing-based
curriculum.
It would be like me looking at their writing
(30:34):
every week and evaluating
if I had been a successful teacher.
They're developing.
They're growing. They're learning.
They're learning where to implement those new
ways of thinking and ways of putting it
together in their writing.
And I have to celebrate those
wins when I see it.
Like, "Oh, look how you use the dialog
(30:55):
here. That really worked well in your piece.
Let's work on the punctuation a little bit
and let me show you how to do this part."
But if every week
when I looked at their work and thought,
"They're not where they
need to be for ninth grade," yeah,
this is month two of eighth
grade.
I've gotta look at them where they are
(31:18):
and see the successes, and see
the developing skills, and the developing
successes, not just
keep checking in, "Are they there yet?
Are they there yet?" Because that's going to
be really defeating for me as a teacher
and it's going to trickle down to them.
They're going to feel really defeated because
they're going to hear me, "Well, you're not
(31:39):
there yet," you know, versus, "Oh
my gosh, look at how you did this.
That's awesome."
Can I get a huge, loud amen over that
because one of the quotes that I love and
I keep repeating is that failure
screams and success whispers.
And that is exactly it.
We are so focused
on how we're slipping up, how we're
(32:01):
not being perfect, how we're not there yet,
how we don't-- we haven't had everything
perfectly on track this week, and
so we're not doing the absolute
most that we possibly could at any given
moment to go as fast as we can and get to go
a little- oh, my gosh, like, can we please
give ourselves credit for what we're doing?
(32:22):
And like you said, okay, the punctuation is
not on board, but look at that dialog,
right? We've got something to work with here.
So many times I'll meet with clients--
and I start my meetings with, "Tell me your
wins," because I realized
that people would just immediately
start going on about the mistakes they made
(32:43):
and wanting to tell me every last bite that
they took.
The confessional.
Exactly, exactly, like I'm a priest.
I am not ordained. I cannot absolve
you, nor do you need to be.
You know? I think it's hard because I don't
think it's human nature.
We are negativity-bias people.
We latch on to what we're doing
wrong. So it's something that we need
(33:05):
to practice.
We need to look for those wins, just
like we would in children, just like we,
you know, try to give a dog a treat when it
does what we want it to.
You know, we want to catch ourselves winning,
as it were, so that we can build
on that. We want to build on our wins.
We don't want to hyper fixate on what we're
doing wrong.
(33:25):
And again, that college student--
you know, I'm guessing many of us,
if we went to college, we had a class
or two that we didn't do so well in.
You know, it's the one area
in our report card or our grade point
average that, yeah, we took a little hit
there. We struggled in that class.
(33:46):
I look at some of the classes that I
struggled in early on in my journey
and realize it was partly because I didn't
yet have the skills for it.
You know, I took a course on Beowulf,
an English class on Beowulf.
I was so proud of my final exam
essay that I wrote, and I got it back
and the instructor said, "Next time you write
(34:07):
an essay about the book, you might want to
spell the title right!" [laughter]
Oh!
Okay, so maybe I needed to work on some basic
skills. But anyway,
the places where I struggled the most is
where I was stretching myself.
And yeah, it didn't look so pretty at first,
but I was pretty pleased that I could take
that class on Beowulf, this,
(34:30):
you know, old piece of literature and pull
something from it. So just giving
ourselves that credit.
Even when it doesn't look pretty, even when
it doesn't feel easy or great,
knowing that we're doing it.
I shared with you when we first hopped on
today that I had just come back from my
workout this morning with my personal
trainer.
(34:51):
It was a really hard workout.
I cannot not go into whining voice as
I talk about it.
It was so hard, but
I'm so glad I did it.
And it didn't look pretty.
It didn't look pretty at all, and it
didn't feel nice,
but what an accomplishment.
And I hope people carry that with them.
(35:12):
You're going to struggle some in September as
you're recommitting and refining
what you're doing. And that's okay.
We're not meant to do it all pretty and
perfect.
It's work. It's challenging.
So get dirty with it, you know?
Make it not so pretty, but engage
it.
Right. And stick with it because it's worth
it. You come out the other end with a sense
(35:34):
of accomplishment and, in terms
of what we're talking about, better health.
That's right.
You don't have a better asset.
There's nothing better than
good health. It's worth every bit of the
effort and worth fighting for.
Absolutely.
Well, Heather, again, I'm pretty sure you
and I could keep going back and forth with
this for a long time because it's something
(35:55):
we're both really invested in, thinking
these ways. I hope this episode
really lands with people and really gets
you working on recommitting
to what you're doing and refining it as
you go.
And we will be back with another episode
soon. Take good care, everyone.
Make good choices.
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