June 17, 2025 • 28 mins
Episode #209
In this week's episode, Terri shares a summary of three, key takeaways from her favorite book about habit change, Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Terri highlights that, by using these three principles of behavior change in approaching your goals, you will be better able to utilize all the fasting and nutrition knowledge you have been learning, and create sustainable success.
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Summary Timestamps
00:00 Intro
02:48 Three of the most important takeaways from Atomic Habits.
04:58 Small, lifestyle changes compound over time.
08:52 We don't rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.
14:49 Habits don't stick unless we alter our identities.
20:35 The problem with being a foodie.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. You should always speak with your physician or other healthcare professional before doing any fasting, changing your diet, taking or adjusting any medication or supplements, or adopting any treatment for a health problem. The use of any other products or services purchased by you as a result of this podcast does not create a healthcare provider-patient relationship between you and any of the experts affiliated with this podcast. Information and statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Around the time that I had just become
a coach with TFM, and I
thought, "Oh my gosh, this book needs to be
required reading for everyone who
is on this journey of fasting
and eating the way that
their body functions best." I thought,
"Everyone needs to read this book." [music]
(00:25):
Welcome back to another episode of
The Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance, and I
am coming to you today with a solo
episode.
Some of you who have listened to the podcast,
or if you've ever been a member of the
TFM Community, you know that I
am really interested in
(00:46):
self-help books.
Almost any topic we discuss,
almost any question that comes up, I
often come back to something I have read or,
more accurately, have listened to
over the past few years.
I recently came across something on
YouTube, actually.
It's by an author of a book that
(01:07):
I enjoyed.
His name is Mark Manson, and some of you may
have read his book, The [Subtle] Art of Not
Giving a F**k.
I read his book many years ago and I really
enjoyed it. So I thought I would watch
his video.
What he does is he summarizes 33
of the books that he thinks are the
most influential and important to
(01:28):
read.
In this video, number one, and I don't know
that they're ranked in order, but number one
is Atomic Habits by James
Clear. Now, if you have
ever listened to me, you probably, at
some, point have heard me talk about this
book because it is one of my
favorites. I found, when I
first listened to it-- I was driving across
(01:50):
the island, the big island in Hawaii.
I had a couple of hours on my hands with
nothing really to do but enjoy beautiful
scenery, and I listened to this book.
Every couple of minutes, I just had to
kind of stop and think, "Oh my gosh, yes!"
This was around the time that I had just
become a coach with TFM
(02:11):
and I thought, "Oh my gosh, this book needs
to be required reading for everyone
who is on this journey of fasting
and eating the way that
their body functions best." I thought,
"Everyone needs to read this book.
Oh my gosh, we need a book club!" And I was
just having like all of these thoughts at
that time.
I've referred to this book often.
(02:33):
I know Coach Lisa has covered
many habit books, and
one of the most popular ones in my mind is
Atomic Habits. I know that many listeners
have read it and I know that many
people in our community have read it.
So I wanted to talk about three
of the main points from
Atomic Habits as Mark Manson
(02:55):
summarized them in his video
clip that I found.
I think he's spot on that these are
three of the most important takeaways.
And if you don't ever read the
book, if you are a believer in 'too
long, don't read' kind of responses,
it's okay. I've got you covered because
I want to talk about three things
(03:17):
that I hope everyone who has read the
books takes away with them
and implements into this
journey, into their weight-loss journey and
into their health journey.
I think they are fundamental
to what TFM really
wants to help you know how to do.
Obviously, we believe very much in teaching
you about fasting (03:39):
how to do it safely,
how to build your fasting muscle,
how do decide how much fasting to
do, and when to fast, and all of those
things. We also want you to learn how
to eat in a way that supports your fasting,
supports your health, supports your
weight-loss goals, and supports you
(03:59):
physically, optimally.
So those two really important factors.
But, beyond those two things, we also really
want you to understand behavior change
because, without significant behavior
change, knowing about fasting and
knowing about proper nutrition won't get
you there.
So we spend a lot of our emphasis
(04:20):
at TFM, I spend most of
my emphasis in most of my meetings focusing
on behavior change and habit change.
It's a very common theme in our community.
So let me go through the
three takeaways that Mark Manson
identified about James
Clear's book so that--
(04:42):
again, if you have read it you
can remind yourself of these key points,
and, if you haven't read it and you
don't decide to read it (maybe you will
after you hear me talk about it),
you will have the three biggest points
that I hope you carry with you.
So, the first one,
the first takeaway is small
(05:03):
lifestyle changes compound over
a period of time.
Now, many of us think when we want to change
something, when we want to learn a new skill
and develop a new habit, that
it should happen quickly.
We think that we should be able to lose 20
pounds, we should learn how to fast in a
week, we should able to do anything
(05:25):
quickly.
And I think this takeaway is so important
because making actual
change, sustainable
change, change that actually
moves you to your goal and then
allows you to sustain those results
happens or develops over a period
of time.
(05:45):
I like the focus here on it has to be a
lifestyle change.
Just learning to fast, to do it short
term isn't really going to get you
into this long-term lifestyle.
The compounding portion of this
takeaway I think is so important.
If I think about any one, given fast,
(06:06):
it really doesn't mean that much.
It's fasting consistently.
It's doing two or three fasts a
week.
It's eating appropriate
meals every time in a
week that it's time for you to eat a meal.
It's changing
our thought processes about
how we feel about what we're eating -
(06:29):
if we feel deprived or if we feel nourished
or satiated.
It's about how we talk to
ourselves.
These lifestyle changes compound
over a period of time.
They're not like a light switch that we just
flip on, and now they're on.
And if we don't want them anymore, we just
turn them off.
(06:50):
Actual changes,
significant changes that we want to make in
our life have to be approached
by looking at the
small steps, the daily
things that we're going to do,
and that they compound
over a period of time.
One of the things that James Clear
(07:12):
points out in Atomic Habits
is that, in order to be
better at something, in order to reach
a goal, you can't just expect
to do the thing and
achieve the goal. Instead, you really want
to focus on the power of
the tiny gains that you make.
(07:32):
And in order to make tiny gains,
you have to work on being better,
1% better, 100 days
in a row, not 100%
better in a day.
Nothing happens that quickly.
So again, it's that power of the
tiny gains that is
really important. [music]
(07:54):
[promotion] Have you ever said, "I know
exactly what I need to do to lose weight.
I just can't make myself do it."
If so, you are not alone, but
have you considered this?
What if making yourself do
it is exactly what you need to learn how
to do?
In my experience, not only as someone
who has personally lost 80 pounds,
(08:15):
but also as someone who coaches clients
to lose weight, that's exactly
the missing piece of the weight-loss puzzle
that is keeping people from reaching their
weight-loss goals.
My name is Heather Shuker.
I'm a coach with The Fasting Method, and,
if you would like me to teach you
what I know about weight loss and how
to stay consistent, you're in luck.
(08:37):
This July 15th, I will be teaching
a Weight-Loss Workshop, a three-day workshop.
I'm going to be covering the principles,
the pitfalls, and the protocols necessary
for sustainable weight loss.
I hope to see you there. [music]
The next big takeaway is we
don't rise to the level of
(08:57):
our goals, we fall to
the levels of our systems.
Now, many of us spend a lot of time figuring
out what our goals are or we
kind of haphazardly decide on a goal,
like, "Oh, I want to lose 45 pounds."
And we just think that, by
focusing on that goal, you know,
(09:18):
setting up, "I'm going away myself
and I will rise
to the level of my goal.
I will work hard enough to reach that goal,"
the 40 lbs, the 75 lbs, the 150
lbs that we need to lose, that
somehow, just by choosing
the goal, we are going to rise to that
occasion and accomplish it.
(09:40):
But instead, the reality is that we fall
to the level of our systems.
What systems we put in place
will determine whether we actually
reach our goals.
So what systems are
you putting into place for yourself?
Are you putting into place systems
(10:00):
that make the change actually
almost impossible to not do?
It makes the change inevitable
if you put the right systems
into place.
If every night I
sit down on the couch with my
snack food with me because my
favorite way of relaxing is watching,
(10:22):
you know, television with snacks,
if I continue that
as my main approach I'm
going to struggle to reach my
goal. I have a lofty goal but I
can't reach it because I have not
put into action, I haven't
created those systems that support
me. If you are someone
(10:44):
who has looked at maybe starting a
morning routine, what do
you need in your morning to get your
day really going in the direction you
want it to go?
Do you want to spend some time focusing on
your intentions, setting your plans,
creating your food plan, creating your
fasting plan.
And other goals that you have in life
(11:06):
that you're working on, how are
you going to ensure that you can follow
through on those plans?
Do you need to take a lunch with you to work
if your plan is to eat a meal during your
workday?
Do you have to have meals ready so
that, when you come home, you have something
available?
Do you need to set up social
(11:27):
gatherings that involve
allowing you space to fast or
the option to eat food that supports
your body with people in a social
group?
Are you getting support?
Have you set up a system of support?
Are you listening to this podcast as part of
that system? Do you listen to it regularly?
(11:48):
If you find an episode that
you really resonate with and it
covers something that you really need to keep
reminding yourself, have you listened to it
more than once?
Are you a member of the TFM
Community? Have you joined, where
we have all of our resources, where
we have live meetings six
(12:09):
days out of the week that you can
attend? And if you're unable to attend them,
we record many of them so that you can watch
them later in the week.
Are you talking with people in the
Community? Are you sharing?
Are you joining the forum and writing
messages in there?
Are you tracking your progress?
(12:30):
Do you have a system of monitoring your
goals or monitoring
the steps you're taking toward reaching
your goals?
These are the systems that,
if we don't put them into place,
we are not going to reach our goals.
Remember, we fall to the level of
(12:51):
our systems. If we don't have a
well-curated system
to help us, we're not
going to just rise to that goal, we're not
to accomplish complex things.
We're going to fall to the lack
of development of our systems.
You know that saying that failing
(13:12):
to plan is planning to fail.
To me, that fits in here.
If I don't know that I have
food that supports me and is
available when I'm ready to break my fast,
it's like the wild, wild west.
I might choose anything to eat.
I might go off track.
Instead, planning,
(13:32):
having something already
chosen that I know will support
me in breaking my fast.
So, again, creating your systems
to help you reach your goal.
Otherwise, the goal is just
this lofty ideal that
really has a small chance of being
realized without that good
(13:54):
system.
I think one of the challenges
about setting our goals
and wanting something that is really
important to us is that many of us
still work under the kind of
erroneous belief that it's about having
ambition, and putting in a
lot of hard work, and automatically
(14:15):
goals will happen.
It's really not just about
having ambition or doing good effort.
It's about have systems that
support us to take the
steps regularly.
Going back to the first takeaway,
it's the small steps every day.
It's that improvement, that consistency
(14:38):
that happens day to
day, not being super
ambitious and taking it all on in
one day or one week.
It doesn't happen that way.
And now the third takeaway is one
that you have heard me talk about in the
podcast, if you've listened over time.
If you're new to the podcast, this one may be
(14:58):
new to you, but it's one that I think is so
important.
And that is habits don't stick
unless we alter our
identities.
Habits don't stick unless
we change the way we think about
ourselves, the way we interact
with other people, the
(15:19):
choices that we make based on our
values. We have to work on
changing our identities.
I think this is one of the things that has
always made me so
much of a James Clear fan is
that he really emphasizes this
part, that, if you want
to make something a long-term,
(15:41):
lifestyle change, you have to start to
identify with it.
You have to change how you talk about
yourself and think about yourself.
One of the examples I always share is that
I am someone who eats low carb,
quite low carb most days and most
meals.
So when a friend says to me,
"Hey Terri, let's go out to dinner," I say,
(16:03):
"Okay." I'm not worried because
I'm going to figure out what to
eat wherever we go.
Now, there are a few types of places
where I struggle more, it's a little harder
to find good options.
But if my friends say to me, "Terri, hey,
let' go to that Mexican restaurant," and then
they sometimes stop and say, "Oh, that's
right, you probably can't eat there." I
(16:23):
say, "No, I can eat there," because
I identify as
someone who has a
low-carb approach to eating.
So, when I go to that restaurant, I
know what I'm looking for in that menu.
I know what substitutions to make
because it's part of how I see
what I eat. It's how I see myself,
(16:45):
as far as what I eat.
Just this evening, I went to a
social gathering in our neighborhood.
And you can imagine, it's the beginning of
summer, it was a going-away party for
some neighbors, and all of the food that
was brought in was super-highly-processed,
cookout kind of
gathering foods.
(17:06):
But I know myself.
I am someone who eats low carb
when I'm eating a meal.
So I made it a meal.
I chose the things there that
worked for me.
If I had known that there wouldn't be enough
food that worked for me, I would probably
eat something that fits my approach
prior to going, and then, once
(17:26):
I got there, just held my sparkling water
and walked around and talked to everyone.
I may have avoided the meal because my
identity is so clear to me that
this is the way I eat.
And if that isn't available there,
then I will make a different decision.
But here's the challenge.
If it's not part of the identity
(17:48):
that you're creating, it's very
easy to be kind of
tugged off of your plan
because you don't see options,
you don't see how to make it fit,
and so you just kind of
slide into the old behaviors
that you're actually working on
(18:09):
eliminating or decreasing.
So, if you aren't working on your identity,
it's really hard to make something stick.
Let's say, for example, you want
to be more physically active.
Now some people might say
try to stick with something that
(18:30):
fits you, not try
to pretend to be something else.
So for example, I like to do some physical
activity things.
I don't consider myself an athlete.
That is not my identity.
But I am someone who likes to bike,
I am someone who enjoys some
hiking (I would call it walking with
maybe some hills), and I'm someone who
(18:52):
enjoys skiing.
So I don't have to identify
as an athlete, I need to
identify as someone who does
active things because I
enjoy them and I value taking
care of my body in those ways.
If I said, 'Well, I hate it,
there's nothing about this that fits me, but
(19:12):
I have to do it," it's going to be
very hard for me to create a
lifestyle change or a habit out
of that behavior, so working
on changing your identity,
how you see yourself, how you talk to
yourself.
Are you still using terms to
describe yourself that are negative
(19:34):
and hold shame and blame?
Are you calling yourself a fat person?
Is that serving you well?
If I continue to call myself
that-- and trust me I don't
because that phrase just has so many
negative connotations for me and such
negative impact.
But if you are someone
(19:55):
who is calling yourself that, that
is your identity.
Why would you do a behavior that's going to
change that if that is your identity?
Maybe you need to
change that identity to, "I am
someone who values taking care of
my body," "I am someone
who is developing
(20:16):
a fasting lifestyle,"
"I am
someone who is learning ways to nurture my
body so that it can work well
and do all of the things
that I ask of it." These are some
ways to work on changing your identity.
Another example that comes up often in
(20:38):
our community is people really
struggling with something that they feel
like they're grieving, or have to give up is,
they identify as a foodie,
meaning-- sometimes, maybe I don't even
understand what that means, but I think it
means I love food,
I love decadent food, I
get a lot of my pleasure from food.
(21:00):
And one of the challenges is that, for
many people who hold that identity,
they aren't necessarily healthy choices.
They are kind of more recreational
choices (like I said, decadant choices),
foods that, for many of us, are
causing insulin resistance,
are causing us to be hungrier and have more
(21:22):
cravings, causing pre-diabetes
or type 2 diabetes, you know,
leading to serious health concerns.
That identity of being a foodie
stands out as something we are known for to
our friends and to our family.
So I have encouraged people, when they come
to me with that, to change how they say
(21:44):
it. And actually one person in our community,
he described in a meeting
that he was changing
that label.
Instead of identifying himself as a
foodie, and all of that kind of connotation
that came along with that, he was changing
his identity to being a healthie.
And I just love that, that it's this focus
(22:06):
on, "I am someone who supports
my health. I'm someone who makes
choices geared toward my health."
And I think in order to create
that as an identity we have to value it,
we have to embrace it, we have to
make it something that we do regularly,
we have to think of ourselves that way.
(22:26):
And I think, when it comes to this example
with food, I think we have enjoy what
we're doing.
One of the big reasons people identify as a
foodie is because they enjoy it.
So can you enjoy being a
healthie?
Can you enjoy being someone
who eats in a way that
supports you metabolically?
(22:46):
Can you enjoy being someone who
takes breaks between meals and
fasts for your healing journey?
It's changing how you think of
yourself.
Rather than, "I'm someone who once in a
while kind of ekes out a fast,"
to start identifying as, "I'm
(23:07):
someone who fasts regularly."
You don't have to identify in that exactly
what type of fasting you do and how many
hours you do, but to start seeing
yourself as a faster.
I remember, many years ago, I decided
to do the Couch to 5K
running, training program.
I wanted to run and do a little
(23:29):
bit of a distance run.
But I remember at the time what was so
incongruent for me was that I did
not see myself as a runner.
I was, you know, growing up
in elementary school, middle school, high
school, I was that person that hated to
run. It was like punishment to me.
When we had that presidential physical
fitness test, ugh, it was the most
(23:50):
torturous thing.
When I was in high school and playing sports,
I loved playing the actual game, but please
don't make me run to train for it.
It was the worst part.
So here I was years later deciding I
wanted to start running. I want do some 5Ks.
And mostly I wanted to do it.
It was a social thing.
I had friends that were all going to run a
(24:12):
specific run, so I wanted to be able to do
that. But what I found over time,
and I did work myself up to completing
a half marathon, was that I had to
change it. I couldn't say, "Yeah, I'm
going to go out and do a run, but I'm not a
runner." I had start thinking of myself
as a runner.
What do runners do?
They run.
(24:33):
[laughs] What do runners do the day after the
race? They run, they do a, you know,
kind of a, a smaller workout.
What do they do-- you know, do they stay out
all night before the big run?
No, I'm going to go home because I'm a
runner. So I had to start thinking of
myself as a runner.
Now, I didn't have to say I was
an Olympic runner.
(24:54):
I didn't have to exaggerate it.
But without identifying that that's
part of who I am, that's something that
I do, it's really
hard to, like I said, to make that
a consistent behavior.
Your brain is going to resist it,
it's not going to feel natural, and
it's going to be really easy to
(25:15):
stop as soon as there is
some kind of interference.
Let's say, for example, it was raining
out. It would be really easy to say, "Well,
I'm not going out in the rain." So I
had to think of an alternative plan to
fulfill that sense of myself
as someone who runs.
If you are someone who does
(25:35):
yoga and you go on vacation,
there's no reason to not do
a yoga routine before you start
your day because you
are someone who does yoga.
If you are someone who meditates,
you don't have to work so hard anymore to
decide, should I do
(25:56):
a meditation today?
It's part of who you are, it's part of
how you see your day going.
So working on addressing and
changing your identity is a
huge piece of creating habits
that will stick.
So again, just as a kind of
summary of these three takeaways-- and trust
(26:18):
me, folks, there are so many valuable
things in the book, but these three
I think are so important to this TFM
journey, so important to
this weight-loss and health journey.
Number one - small lifestyle changes
compound over a period of
time.
Two - we don't rise to the level
(26:39):
of our goals, we fall to the
level of our systems.
And number three - habits don't stick
unless we alter our identities.
I want for all of you to create habits
that create long-term change
for you. I want you to reach your goals.
I want you to reach your health goals and
your weight-loss goals.
(27:00):
And I think if you spend some time really
reflecting on these three things:.
Am I working on small
steps that I can take that will compound
over time?
Am I creating systems that
make these habit changes possible,
feasible, sustainable?
(27:23):
Am I working on
changing my identity, how I see
myself, how I interact with other people
around these things, how I think
about it?
Then I think you stand a really good chance
of finding the success that you're seeking.
I look forward to talking with you again soon
in our next episode.
Until then, take good care.
Around the time that I had just become
a coach with TFM, and I
thought, "Oh my gosh, this book needs to be
required reading for everyone who
is on this journey of fasting
and eating the way that
their body functions best." I thought,
"Everyone needs to read this book." [music]
(00:25):
Welcome back to another episode of
The Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance, and I
am coming to you today with a solo
episode.
Some of you who have listened to the podcast,
or if you've ever been a member of the
TFM Community, you know that I
am really interested in
(00:46):
self-help books.
Almost any topic we discuss,
almost any question that comes up, I
often come back to something I have read or,
more accurately, have listened to
over the past few years.
I recently came across something on
YouTube, actually.
It's by an author of a book that
(01:07):
I enjoyed.
His name is Mark Manson, and some of you may
have read his book, The [Subtle] Art of Not
Giving a F**k.
I read his book many years ago and I really
enjoyed it. So I thought I would watch
his video.
What he does is he summarizes 33
of the books that he thinks are the
most influential and important to
(01:28):
read.
In this video, number one, and I don't know
that they're ranked in order, but number one
is Atomic Habits by James
Clear. Now, if you have
ever listened to me, you probably, at
some, point have heard me talk about this
book because it is one of my
favorites. I found, when I
first listened to it-- I was driving across
(01:50):
the island, the big island in Hawaii.
I had a couple of hours on my hands with
nothing really to do but enjoy beautiful
scenery, and I listened to this book.
Every couple of minutes, I just had to
kind of stop and think, "Oh my gosh, yes!"
This was around the time that I had just
become a coach with TFM
(02:11):
and I thought, "Oh my gosh, this book needs
to be required reading for everyone
who is on this journey of fasting
and eating the way that
their body functions best." I thought,
"Everyone needs to read this book.
Oh my gosh, we need a book club!" And I was
just having like all of these thoughts at
that time.
I've referred to this book often.
(02:33):
I know Coach Lisa has covered
many habit books, and
one of the most popular ones in my mind is
Atomic Habits. I know that many listeners
have read it and I know that many
people in our community have read it.
So I wanted to talk about three
of the main points from
Atomic Habits as Mark Manson
(02:55):
summarized them in his video
clip that I found.
I think he's spot on that these are
three of the most important takeaways.
And if you don't ever read the
book, if you are a believer in 'too
long, don't read' kind of responses,
it's okay. I've got you covered because
I want to talk about three things
(03:17):
that I hope everyone who has read the
books takes away with them
and implements into this
journey, into their weight-loss journey and
into their health journey.
I think they are fundamental
to what TFM really
wants to help you know how to do.
Obviously, we believe very much in teaching
you about fasting (03:39):
how to do it safely,
how to build your fasting muscle,
how do decide how much fasting to
do, and when to fast, and all of those
things. We also want you to learn how
to eat in a way that supports your fasting,
supports your health, supports your
weight-loss goals, and supports you
(03:59):
physically, optimally.
So those two really important factors.
But, beyond those two things, we also really
want you to understand behavior change
because, without significant behavior
change, knowing about fasting and
knowing about proper nutrition won't get
you there.
So we spend a lot of our emphasis
(04:20):
at TFM, I spend most of
my emphasis in most of my meetings focusing
on behavior change and habit change.
It's a very common theme in our community.
So let me go through the
three takeaways that Mark Manson
identified about James
Clear's book so that--
(04:42):
again, if you have read it you
can remind yourself of these key points,
and, if you haven't read it and you
don't decide to read it (maybe you will
after you hear me talk about it),
you will have the three biggest points
that I hope you carry with you.
So, the first one,
the first takeaway is small
(05:03):
lifestyle changes compound over
a period of time.
Now, many of us think when we want to change
something, when we want to learn a new skill
and develop a new habit, that
it should happen quickly.
We think that we should be able to lose 20
pounds, we should learn how to fast in a
week, we should able to do anything
(05:25):
quickly.
And I think this takeaway is so important
because making actual
change, sustainable
change, change that actually
moves you to your goal and then
allows you to sustain those results
happens or develops over a period
of time.
(05:45):
I like the focus here on it has to be a
lifestyle change.
Just learning to fast, to do it short
term isn't really going to get you
into this long-term lifestyle.
The compounding portion of this
takeaway I think is so important.
If I think about any one, given fast,
(06:06):
it really doesn't mean that much.
It's fasting consistently.
It's doing two or three fasts a
week.
It's eating appropriate
meals every time in a
week that it's time for you to eat a meal.
It's changing
our thought processes about
how we feel about what we're eating -
(06:29):
if we feel deprived or if we feel nourished
or satiated.
It's about how we talk to
ourselves.
These lifestyle changes compound
over a period of time.
They're not like a light switch that we just
flip on, and now they're on.
And if we don't want them anymore, we just
turn them off.
(06:50):
Actual changes,
significant changes that we want to make in
our life have to be approached
by looking at the
small steps, the daily
things that we're going to do,
and that they compound
over a period of time.
One of the things that James Clear
(07:12):
points out in Atomic Habits
is that, in order to be
better at something, in order to reach
a goal, you can't just expect
to do the thing and
achieve the goal. Instead, you really want
to focus on the power of
the tiny gains that you make.
(07:32):
And in order to make tiny gains,
you have to work on being better,
1% better, 100 days
in a row, not 100%
better in a day.
Nothing happens that quickly.
So again, it's that power of the
tiny gains that is
really important. [music]
(07:54):
[promotion] Have you ever said, "I know
exactly what I need to do to lose weight.
I just can't make myself do it."
If so, you are not alone, but
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In my experience, not only as someone
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(08:15):
but also as someone who coaches clients
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My name is Heather Shuker.
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(08:37):
This July 15th, I will be teaching
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I'm going to be covering the principles,
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I hope to see you there. [music]
The next big takeaway is we
don't rise to the level of
(08:57):
our goals, we fall to
the levels of our systems.
Now, many of us spend a lot of time figuring
out what our goals are or we
kind of haphazardly decide on a goal,
like, "Oh, I want to lose 45 pounds."
And we just think that, by
focusing on that goal, you know,
(09:18):
setting up, "I'm going away myself
and I will rise
to the level of my goal.
I will work hard enough to reach that goal,"
the 40 lbs, the 75 lbs, the 150
lbs that we need to lose, that
somehow, just by choosing
the goal, we are going to rise to that
occasion and accomplish it.
(09:40):
But instead, the reality is that we fall
to the level of our systems.
What systems we put in place
will determine whether we actually
reach our goals.
So what systems are
you putting into place for yourself?
Are you putting into place systems
(10:00):
that make the change actually
almost impossible to not do?
It makes the change inevitable
if you put the right systems
into place.
If every night I
sit down on the couch with my
snack food with me because my
favorite way of relaxing is watching,
(10:22):
you know, television with snacks,
if I continue that
as my main approach I'm
going to struggle to reach my
goal. I have a lofty goal but I
can't reach it because I have not
put into action, I haven't
created those systems that support
me. If you are someone
(10:44):
who has looked at maybe starting a
morning routine, what do
you need in your morning to get your
day really going in the direction you
want it to go?
Do you want to spend some time focusing on
your intentions, setting your plans,
creating your food plan, creating your
fasting plan.
And other goals that you have in life
(11:06):
that you're working on, how are
you going to ensure that you can follow
through on those plans?
Do you need to take a lunch with you to work
if your plan is to eat a meal during your
workday?
Do you have to have meals ready so
that, when you come home, you have something
available?
Do you need to set up social
(11:27):
gatherings that involve
allowing you space to fast or
the option to eat food that supports
your body with people in a social
group?
Are you getting support?
Have you set up a system of support?
Are you listening to this podcast as part of
that system? Do you listen to it regularly?
(11:48):
If you find an episode that
you really resonate with and it
covers something that you really need to keep
reminding yourself, have you listened to it
more than once?
Are you a member of the TFM
Community? Have you joined, where
we have all of our resources, where
we have live meetings six
(12:09):
days out of the week that you can
attend? And if you're unable to attend them,
we record many of them so that you can watch
them later in the week.
Are you talking with people in the
Community? Are you sharing?
Are you joining the forum and writing
messages in there?
Are you tracking your progress?
(12:30):
Do you have a system of monitoring your
goals or monitoring
the steps you're taking toward reaching
your goals?
These are the systems that,
if we don't put them into place,
we are not going to reach our goals.
Remember, we fall to the level of
(12:51):
our systems. If we don't have a
well-curated system
to help us, we're not
going to just rise to that goal, we're not
to accomplish complex things.
We're going to fall to the lack
of development of our systems.
You know that saying that failing
(13:12):
to plan is planning to fail.
To me, that fits in here.
If I don't know that I have
food that supports me and is
available when I'm ready to break my fast,
it's like the wild, wild west.
I might choose anything to eat.
I might go off track.
Instead, planning,
(13:32):
having something already
chosen that I know will support
me in breaking my fast.
So, again, creating your systems
to help you reach your goal.
Otherwise, the goal is just
this lofty ideal that
really has a small chance of being
realized without that good
(13:54):
system.
I think one of the challenges
about setting our goals
and wanting something that is really
important to us is that many of us
still work under the kind of
erroneous belief that it's about having
ambition, and putting in a
lot of hard work, and automatically
(14:15):
goals will happen.
It's really not just about
having ambition or doing good effort.
It's about have systems that
support us to take the
steps regularly.
Going back to the first takeaway,
it's the small steps every day.
It's that improvement, that consistency
(14:38):
that happens day to
day, not being super
ambitious and taking it all on in
one day or one week.
It doesn't happen that way.
And now the third takeaway is one
that you have heard me talk about in the
podcast, if you've listened over time.
If you're new to the podcast, this one may be
(14:58):
new to you, but it's one that I think is so
important.
And that is habits don't stick
unless we alter our
identities.
Habits don't stick unless
we change the way we think about
ourselves, the way we interact
with other people, the
(15:19):
choices that we make based on our
values. We have to work on
changing our identities.
I think this is one of the things that has
always made me so
much of a James Clear fan is
that he really emphasizes this
part, that, if you want
to make something a long-term,
(15:41):
lifestyle change, you have to start to
identify with it.
You have to change how you talk about
yourself and think about yourself.
One of the examples I always share is that
I am someone who eats low carb,
quite low carb most days and most
meals.
So when a friend says to me,
"Hey Terri, let's go out to dinner," I say,
(16:03):
"Okay." I'm not worried because
I'm going to figure out what to
eat wherever we go.
Now, there are a few types of places
where I struggle more, it's a little harder
to find good options.
But if my friends say to me, "Terri, hey,
let' go to that Mexican restaurant," and then
they sometimes stop and say, "Oh, that's
right, you probably can't eat there." I
(16:23):
say, "No, I can eat there," because
I identify as
someone who has a
low-carb approach to eating.
So, when I go to that restaurant, I
know what I'm looking for in that menu.
I know what substitutions to make
because it's part of how I see
what I eat. It's how I see myself,
(16:45):
as far as what I eat.
Just this evening, I went to a
social gathering in our neighborhood.
And you can imagine, it's the beginning of
summer, it was a going-away party for
some neighbors, and all of the food that
was brought in was super-highly-processed,
cookout kind of
gathering foods.
(17:06):
But I know myself.
I am someone who eats low carb
when I'm eating a meal.
So I made it a meal.
I chose the things there that
worked for me.
If I had known that there wouldn't be enough
food that worked for me, I would probably
eat something that fits my approach
prior to going, and then, once
(17:26):
I got there, just held my sparkling water
and walked around and talked to everyone.
I may have avoided the meal because my
identity is so clear to me that
this is the way I eat.
And if that isn't available there,
then I will make a different decision.
But here's the challenge.
If it's not part of the identity
(17:48):
that you're creating, it's very
easy to be kind of
tugged off of your plan
because you don't see options,
you don't see how to make it fit,
and so you just kind of
slide into the old behaviors
that you're actually working on
(18:09):
eliminating or decreasing.
So, if you aren't working on your identity,
it's really hard to make something stick.
Let's say, for example, you want
to be more physically active.
Now some people might say
try to stick with something that
(18:30):
fits you, not try
to pretend to be something else.
So for example, I like to do some physical
activity things.
I don't consider myself an athlete.
That is not my identity.
But I am someone who likes to bike,
I am someone who enjoys some
hiking (I would call it walking with
maybe some hills), and I'm someone who
(18:52):
enjoys skiing.
So I don't have to identify
as an athlete, I need to
identify as someone who does
active things because I
enjoy them and I value taking
care of my body in those ways.
If I said, 'Well, I hate it,
there's nothing about this that fits me, but
(19:12):
I have to do it," it's going to be
very hard for me to create a
lifestyle change or a habit out
of that behavior, so working
on changing your identity,
how you see yourself, how you talk to
yourself.
Are you still using terms to
describe yourself that are negative
(19:34):
and hold shame and blame?
Are you calling yourself a fat person?
Is that serving you well?
If I continue to call myself
that-- and trust me I don't
because that phrase just has so many
negative connotations for me and such
negative impact.
But if you are someone
(19:55):
who is calling yourself that, that
is your identity.
Why would you do a behavior that's going to
change that if that is your identity?
Maybe you need to
change that identity to, "I am
someone who values taking care of
my body," "I am someone
who is developing
(20:16):
a fasting lifestyle,"
"I am
someone who is learning ways to nurture my
body so that it can work well
and do all of the things
that I ask of it." These are some
ways to work on changing your identity.
Another example that comes up often in
(20:38):
our community is people really
struggling with something that they feel
like they're grieving, or have to give up is,
they identify as a foodie,
meaning-- sometimes, maybe I don't even
understand what that means, but I think it
means I love food,
I love decadent food, I
get a lot of my pleasure from food.
(21:00):
And one of the challenges is that, for
many people who hold that identity,
they aren't necessarily healthy choices.
They are kind of more recreational
choices (like I said, decadant choices),
foods that, for many of us, are
causing insulin resistance,
are causing us to be hungrier and have more
(21:22):
cravings, causing pre-diabetes
or type 2 diabetes, you know,
leading to serious health concerns.
That identity of being a foodie
stands out as something we are known for to
our friends and to our family.
So I have encouraged people, when they come
to me with that, to change how they say
(21:44):
it. And actually one person in our community,
he described in a meeting
that he was changing
that label.
Instead of identifying himself as a
foodie, and all of that kind of connotation
that came along with that, he was changing
his identity to being a healthie.
And I just love that, that it's this focus
(22:06):
on, "I am someone who supports
my health. I'm someone who makes
choices geared toward my health."
And I think in order to create
that as an identity we have to value it,
we have to embrace it, we have to
make it something that we do regularly,
we have to think of ourselves that way.
(22:26):
And I think, when it comes to this example
with food, I think we have enjoy what
we're doing.
One of the big reasons people identify as a
foodie is because they enjoy it.
So can you enjoy being a
healthie?
Can you enjoy being someone
who eats in a way that
supports you metabolically?
(22:46):
Can you enjoy being someone who
takes breaks between meals and
fasts for your healing journey?
It's changing how you think of
yourself.
Rather than, "I'm someone who once in a
while kind of ekes out a fast,"
to start identifying as, "I'm
(23:07):
someone who fasts regularly."
You don't have to identify in that exactly
what type of fasting you do and how many
hours you do, but to start seeing
yourself as a faster.
I remember, many years ago, I decided
to do the Couch to 5K
running, training program.
I wanted to run and do a little
(23:29):
bit of a distance run.
But I remember at the time what was so
incongruent for me was that I did
not see myself as a runner.
I was, you know, growing up
in elementary school, middle school, high
school, I was that person that hated to
run. It was like punishment to me.
When we had that presidential physical
fitness test, ugh, it was the most
(23:50):
torturous thing.
When I was in high school and playing sports,
I loved playing the actual game, but please
don't make me run to train for it.
It was the worst part.
So here I was years later deciding I
wanted to start running. I want do some 5Ks.
And mostly I wanted to do it.
It was a social thing.
I had friends that were all going to run a
(24:12):
specific run, so I wanted to be able to do
that. But what I found over time,
and I did work myself up to completing
a half marathon, was that I had to
change it. I couldn't say, "Yeah, I'm
going to go out and do a run, but I'm not a
runner." I had start thinking of myself
as a runner.
What do runners do?
They run.
(24:33):
[laughs] What do runners do the day after the
race? They run, they do a, you know,
kind of a, a smaller workout.
What do they do-- you know, do they stay out
all night before the big run?
No, I'm going to go home because I'm a
runner. So I had to start thinking of
myself as a runner.
Now, I didn't have to say I was
an Olympic runner.
(24:54):
I didn't have to exaggerate it.
But without identifying that that's
part of who I am, that's something that
I do, it's really
hard to, like I said, to make that
a consistent behavior.
Your brain is going to resist it,
it's not going to feel natural, and
it's going to be really easy to
(25:15):
stop as soon as there is
some kind of interference.
Let's say, for example, it was raining
out. It would be really easy to say, "Well,
I'm not going out in the rain." So I
had to think of an alternative plan to
fulfill that sense of myself
as someone who runs.
If you are someone who does
(25:35):
yoga and you go on vacation,
there's no reason to not do
a yoga routine before you start
your day because you
are someone who does yoga.
If you are someone who meditates,
you don't have to work so hard anymore to
decide, should I do
(25:56):
a meditation today?
It's part of who you are, it's part of
how you see your day going.
So working on addressing and
changing your identity is a
huge piece of creating habits
that will stick.
So again, just as a kind of
summary of these three takeaways-- and trust
(26:18):
me, folks, there are so many valuable
things in the book, but these three
I think are so important to this TFM
journey, so important to
this weight-loss and health journey.
Number one - small lifestyle changes
compound over a period of
time.
Two - we don't rise to the level
(26:39):
of our goals, we fall to the
level of our systems.
And number three - habits don't stick
unless we alter our identities.
I want for all of you to create habits
that create long-term change
for you. I want you to reach your goals.
I want you to reach your health goals and
your weight-loss goals.
(27:00):
And I think if you spend some time really
reflecting on these three things:.
Am I working on small
steps that I can take that will compound
over time?
Am I creating systems that
make these habit changes possible,
feasible, sustainable?
(27:23):
Am I working on
changing my identity, how I see
myself, how I interact with other people
around these things, how I think
about it?
Then I think you stand a really good chance
of finding the success that you're seeking.
I look forward to talking with you again soon
in our next episode.
Until then, take good care.
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