274. Power of Pause: Why Your Brain Cannot Solve the Problem With Wendy Paige Sterling

There is a misconception that pausing means ceasing any and all activity, that you are lazy, or that you are incapable. Ironically, the pause is actually where the acceleration happens.

Are you up against a problem that you've had more than once? Maybe you're starting to notice this is a pattern; something's happening where you're constantly uncomfortable, things don't feel right, or you are exhausted. The truth is, your brain is not going to solve that problem for you.

How do you deal with this? Today's guest, Wendy Paige Sterling, has the answer. She helps us tap into the power of the pause and walks us through how to move forward when we're feeling our most stuck.

Wendy says that from a young age, she had the innate ability to be OK with how different she was—but that feeling got silenced. She was the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors on two sides of her family. So when her grandparents moved to the U.S., it was all about fitting in, the American dream.

"I was not born to fit into anybody's mold or role," says Wendy. "I needed to finally stand up for myself to stop playing small, to stop feeling lost on a daily basis and seeking external validation, to stop feeling suffocated by the weight of other people's expectations."

She says at the end of the day, her fire within was all about helping other women turn on their lights inside. Taking a pause and listening to their intuition would help guide them.

"It's really about resetting your fuse so that you can ignite the fire within you to start living that dream, but ultimately, it's got to come in these moments of pause where we give ourselves that ability to not only breathe but to fully exhale," says Wendy.

Those deep exhale moments can come with fear and doubt, but for Wendy, they mean choosing yourself and your authentic being. 

We all have the power to pause. But Wendy says women juggling multiple balls—that they might see as accolades—feel the pressure to keep going; they can't put them down.

She hates hustle culture and the idea of powering through. It only gives you a false sense of momentum because all you are doing is doing. But you're not present or connected; there is no intention or focus.

"You think your focus is on the outcome, but you are completely ignoring everything in between," says Wendy. "And what the pause gifts you is the in-between, which then attaches the outcome that much faster."

She says the pause silences your mind. It's in your mind that fear, doubt, regret, judgment, and ego live. It's loud and distracting. Wendy says she's not the type to meditate. Her pauses come on walks with the dog or even in the shower—they're places where you can hear your intuitive thoughts and inner wisdom.

Intuition is a calm, easy, firm little, "Hey there." You're going to have no logic attached to it. Intuition is going to be something that you've never even thought of.

"When your mind is driving the bus, it is not the right answer for you. But when your body gets curious, and it feels very calm, then that's the direction you can flow," says Wendy.

Because listening to the noise isn't serving you, Wendy says we tend to downplay the ripple effect. If you're operating on fear, everybody in your universe is feeling that frequency. It's contagious. You can be more conscious about the energy you're putting out there.