November 12, 2024 • 62 mins
In Episode 3 of The Gray Hair and Daycare Podcast, hosts Frank and Carlo embark on a hilarious journey through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and impending fatherhood. Frank, a first-time father at 55, shares his experiences with his wife's pregnancy, week by week, offering a humorous take on everything from prenatal testing and food aversions to the specific body pillow for pregnant people.
The hosts discuss the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy, including the excitement of making announcements to family and friends, the challenges of dealing with morning sickness and food aversions, and the anxieties of prenatal testing and anatomy scans. Frank's inexperience and Carlo's fatherly wisdom create a comedic duo that tackles the absurdities of pregnancy and parenthood with wit and humor.
Carlo's insights as a seasoned father provide a counterpoint to Frank's anxieties, leading to humorous exchanges about everything from the proper use of Pepcid to the emotional impact of lullabies. The hosts' contrasting personalities and experiences create a dynamic that is both entertaining and informative for listeners.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
This is the Great Hair and Day Care Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ range.
Your hosts, Frank Cereo and Carlo Russo.
Episode three.
It's very exciting.
So welcome back.
If you are joining us for the first or second or third time, could be the third time.
(00:36):
I am Frank Cereo.
I am 55 years old.
My wife is now 20 weeks pregnant and I'm here with my friend, Carlo Russo.
Hello everyone.
And what we're hoping most out of this podcast is that everything works.
We've been trying to record video and audio.
Sometimes we get the audio and no video.
(00:58):
Sometimes we just get me.
Sometimes it's just Carlo.
That's all right.
Sometimes it's no, it's all crappy audio.
It's a funny thing is Frank, if somebody walked in here, they would think we know what we're doing.
I mean, we have lights.
We have three cameras.
This is how I make it.
We have three cameras.
And at this point we have no video at all.
Three cameras running the whole time.
(01:18):
We've had no lights.
We've got audio.
We've got everything set up.
I bought a special stand.
Hopefully I can slide this out.
So we look good.
Let's hope.
Sound, I don't know.
We don't know what's going to happen.
We look great.
No one will ever see it.
Yeah, that's basically where we are.
So, uh, anyway, we welcome back.
(01:39):
So I wanted to, I'm going to add going forward.
One of the things that there, there's all these cute apps that tell you in each week, what's going on with your baby.
Okay.
All right.
So in week 20, the baby is the size of a banana.
I love bananas.
The baby can swallow their digestives.
And this is the most, the most interesting thing for me, the digestive system in the baby is now producing meconium.
(02:07):
Meconium, right?
Isn't that what kills Superman?
That's kryptonite.
Oh, sorry.
Basically what it means is she's working at the, she, or he is working on his first poop.
So now that word, I know it could happen in there.
It could happen on the way out or it could happen in the diaper the first time.
So wait a minute, wait a minute, let's back it up.
(02:28):
It's working on poop.
There's no guarantee when it could come out after they have arrived in the world.
They just hold onto it.
I guess.
I don't know how it works.
I just know it's meconium.
That's what it said.
And it could happen in the womb on the way out or in a diaper after they're settled in and going to college.
(02:50):
I don't know.
So that that's where we are in week 20.
So as you know, we kind of, we're trying to play catch up.
We want this to be kind of live and we got through week nine last week.
(03:10):
So we're going to pick up on week 10.
So the notable stuff week 10 up to this point, I think probably around week six, maybe even seven.
Kelly started with, it's a boy.
I just know it's a boy.
And I'm like, how do you like, how do you know this first time woman pregnant?
I can feel it's a boy.
(03:30):
It's a boy in my family.
All the old Italian ladies were like really good.
My grandmother told my mother she was pregnant with me before my mother knew.
She's like, you're pregnant.
She's like, you're crazy.
I remember.
Do you remember the whole thing about she's carrying it high or low?
It's a boy low.
It's a high.
Remember that?
(03:51):
Which is all bull.
I mean, it's all gas.
It's a 50, 50 shot.
And I think what it was is she read somewhere that if you have food aversions, it's tip more typically a bull.
And she had, she was having lots of that stuff.
So she's thinking for the last few weeks up till now coming into week 10, she's thinking it's a boy.
(04:11):
And there is this testing.
So you're not, you don't really find out until week 20, right?
So week 20 is the, is the gender reveal?
What kind of?
Yeah.
Cause that's what, if they, if you want to know that's when they're going to do an ultrasound and be able to see parts and pieces.
So we're not, we're not.
(04:32):
And at that, so you can find out then, but there's also this testing.
So it's non-invasive prenatal testing.
So basically what it means is that it's a blood test that they can do and it looks for chromosomal abnormality.
So the first time Kelly comes up with this pamphlet about it and I'm like, well, like who cares?
(04:52):
Like, why would we do this?
Well, you know, it looks at stuff.
I'm like, is there, if we find out there is something, we're not going to do anything about it, right?
Like we're not going to make a decision like that.
So why do it?
And well, it does tell the gender.
And I'm like, do you want to know?
And she's well, I don't, I guess I doesn't matter.
(05:13):
You know, for planning it might be, I'm like, look, I don't care.
We can do it either.
Like a week later.
She's like, well, you know, there's that test.
So, uh, okay.
Clearly she wants to do it.
And honestly, I don't know if it was more for the screening to know another green light, like, okay, everything's good.
Or just to find out the gender.
So, but all it is really is, is a blood test.
(05:36):
So they, they, they do a blood draw like they're doing all the time.
And then we basically, we do that test in week 10 and it takes a week or so.
So we're, we're waiting from then.
So that's kind of the, the appointment that week they take the blood and we'll, we'll find out soon.
Okay.
And then we'd had the scare in week nine.
She's coming home from work.
(05:58):
She stops at Wegmans and, and says, or no, we were going, we were going to Wegmans.
I think we were together, which is a grocery store for somebody.
If you're not aware, it's a wonderful grocery store.
And she's like, I got it.
I have to use the restroom.
As soon as we get in, she's like, we need to go home.
She had another bleed.
(06:18):
Okay.
Now this time, not as bad, but still another scare.
We're like, what's going on?
Because again, if you recall from the last episode, I was so happy that everything was okay.
Never asked questions.
So I don't know.
Tell me anything else.
I'm getting pancakes.
(06:39):
So there was, there was no, we didn't know.
We had no idea.
So now again, it's like, okay, so this time I'm handling it a little bit better, but still very scary.
She goes in for a regular appointment.
They check her out.
Everything's okay.
And what they say is, well, what this looks like is something called a sub chorionic hematoma.
(07:01):
All right.
So, okay.
What's fancy?
So Google it up.
It is when blood pools between the uterine wall and the chorionic membrane.
I don't know what that is.
We're not doctors.
There's a blood pools.
And then this, this can sometimes happen.
Common in the first trimester to cause vaginal bleeding.
(07:24):
But up until the first one, she had had no bleeding.
That was another thing that I didn't know.
And if we get far enough, we'll talk about it later.
I just assume once the, once her normal menstrual cycle stops, all that's over with, but apparently some women have their cycles through their pregnancy and all that.
(07:45):
So, and I should know all these things, but yeah, I can't imagine.
I would, I should know this stuff, but all the books that I've been given by my lovely wife are about introducing like four books on introducing the dogs to the baby.
(08:08):
So I haven't gotten to the one that tells you about the child.
I'm still working on how do they have the dog not eat the kid when they get home.
So there there's that it's common.
But so the whole thing with the cycle in my head, save this up for later.
I just think that's all over until she has the baby.
So we'll come back to that.
That's kind of week 10.
(08:30):
We go into week 11 and now it's like a handoff from the specialist that we were working with to the OBGYN that will handle this through, through the delivery delivery.
So the first thing we find out is the blood test to find us.
We're thinking that now I'm thinking we're going to find out.
And I'm thinking because Kelly keeps saying, she thinks it's a boy.
(08:53):
I'm like, okay, like I would be excited.
I'm a happy either way, but thinking, okay, we're going to find out.
Well, what they do is they're you, they're looking at blood.
They look at her blood for DNA from the baby, right?
So there wasn't enough fetal DNA in the, in her blood sample for them to have a conclusion.
(09:14):
Exactly.
So we don't know.
So, so we basically have to do, if we want to, we have to do that again.
This is week 11.
We're in week 11.
Yes.
Otherwise we go in, they, they do the, you know, the normal doctor stuff and they, they set her down and they do a, another ultrasound.
But then we go in and we meet the PA.
(09:36):
I don't think it's a, an OBGYN, but they're literally, they, they're talking so fast.
It starts, it's over.
I don't even know what happened.
Like, is everything good?
And I usually, I'm trying to pass out.
Like I'm looking at Twitter, I'm trying to pay attention.
And I'm still like, they talked to, I asked Kelly afterwards, did you like, is this because of reading you've done that you understood everything she was saying?
(09:57):
It was like, boom, boom.
I'm so, I'm everything's good.
I'm, I'm happy.
That's it.
So they take, they take the blood again to do the noninvasive test again.
So, and that's pretty much it in week 11, slide into week 12.
And this is when, this is something that I should have, I should have brought up last week, but I think is important to understand about my wife.
(10:26):
I love my wife.
She's a brilliant woman.
Kelly is very brilliant.
She is.
She is also has a very narrow band of acceptable temperatures, except she, she is, I have, I have for years now called her, I tease her that she is the princess in the peak.
(10:47):
Like she knows if it's 72 degrees, she's happy.
If it is 71, she is in a parka and starting a fire from our furniture.
If she, if it is 73, she is sweltering and we have to turn everything off.
Very narrow.
So when these things start happening with morning sickness and things like that, this is very like, this is unacceptable.
(11:14):
That's a big thing for her.
Yeah, it is.
Absolutely.
It is a, it is a big thing.
So she starts really in earnest now with some basically like acid reflux, little things, even her, like her tea in the morning, like she drinks tea in the morning and she's the kind of person that to a normal day for her, like she would have tea in the morning and then not eat anything until like 11 o'clock.
(11:41):
She's not up, not eating, not used to eating breakfast or even three regular meals.
Like she's not a big eater.
She looks at food to survive.
She looks like a normal person where we look at it.
Oh, that's a state.
That's a one that I need.
And now you love me and I'm safe.
It is not.
Yeah, absolutely.
(12:01):
She is the opposite of an emotional eating.
She is the opposite of that.
So she starts with that.
And then now it's like, I'm trying to just find something she can eat.
I'm like, okay, what are we going to have?
And just trying to find something that she, that doesn't make her miserable after she eats it.
But still I'm starting, I'm getting a little worried that she doesn't look like she's pregnant at all at this point.
(12:26):
And like, is she getting enough nutrition for her and the baby?
So I'm trying, I'm trying to be creative and suggest things and some stuff's working and some stuff's not.
We go back now and they do in week 12, they do an early anatomy scan.
So this is like the version of the 20 week where they look at what they can see at that point.
(12:50):
So they go in and this time, because they go through and they're doing a more detailed scan, they figure out, yes, this was a subchorionic hematoma.
They found it on this scan.
So now we know what happened.
They can securely say that's what it was.
Yes.
So that kind of closes the, that chapter.
(13:11):
We can worry a little bit less and it's just, okay, that's what they say.
It could repeat itself or once they did it twice now.
Yeah.
But now we're kind of at the end of the first trimester, so it shouldn't, it shouldn't continue, but at least the, cause the first two times they kept saying, we think it's this, but they weren't seeing whatever they saw in this scan.
(13:33):
So we got that feedback, a little breathe, a sigh, another sigh of relief, but now it's week 12 and we can start to make announcements so we can start, we can start telling people.
So you already know, my siblings, when they had come to visit shortly before this in the summer, you know, they, my sisters and my brother knew it was a small circle.
(13:57):
It was a very small circle.
So at that point, Kelly had not talked to her mom or dad.
So she's like, well, you know, I'm like, well, when do you want to do it?
She's like, well, we can call them now.
So she calls and it was interesting for me because I'm thinking I would, nice.
It would be to call my mom.
How, what it would be like for her, how she would react.
(14:22):
My father, less effusive.
It would probably be something like that, but I'm thinking what that would be like.
And she calls, she, and a lot of times because her mother is busy and her father, sometimes they're tough to get ahold of, but phone rings and mother answers and she asks if her father's there and gets them both on the phone and she tells them.
(14:47):
And the reaction was if I called my parents and said, I got a new coffee table, right?
That's, that was, and I don't know if caught them at a bad time or if they were distracted or anything, but number one, I'm, I'm just surprised that the level of enthusiasm, but there, there are times when I see things with, with Kelly's family.
(15:12):
I wait for a reaction, how I would react and it just goes right over her.
So it's a different family.
Every, all families have different dynamics.
The first thing I'm nothing.
I just like we go through it and she doesn't seem to be impacted by it at all.
(15:35):
She's used to their, yeah, she's used to how, how that is.
And I'm like, okay, like that's.
It's more on you than on them because that's how they grew up probably, right?
That reaction is normal.
Their family is very much, they wouldn't yell if they were on fire, right?
Like that's just not, that's not how they operate.
(15:55):
And we just yell.
Right.
So, yeah.
So there's a huge disconnect when they, if I get at all agitated or energetic and how I'm talking about something, they're like, they need a safe room, right?
Like it's very different.
So she gets that reaction, but so, but you know, nice.
And then we're, you know, we're making all the other calls.
(16:16):
That was the, the, the big important call.
Then we're talking to, she calls her brother and his wife and, and, and some cousins and they're going, you know, kind of making, making the tour and telling everybody.
And it's fun.
You know, there's different, you know, my, my, my cousin, Mark, who lives in Ohio, I, you know, I, I sent a text to that group of cousins, him and his siblings, and I immediately get a call and there's like cheering and all kinds of excitement.
(16:42):
So it was, it was nice.
And that, that was always a fun.
Yeah.
Do you remember like what, how did your, how did your parents react when.
I remember calling my mom.
She just absolutely started crying with joy.
Obviously my mom already had her grand kids from my older brother.
(17:03):
So she had two at the time before our one.
So she was very excited for a new, another son, not the same to have a child.
My father was very excited.
I remember, and I'm going to throw this out and we'll probably talk about this with names and all that.
But I remember telling my father that we had, we were pregnant within like minutes.
(17:29):
He goes, don't name him.
Don't name him after me.
It's, I don't like my name.
You shouldn't have an old name like me.
I'm like, well, first thing, assuming that I'm going to name him after you, it's pretty ballsy, which I did anyways.
I did anyways.
And so, yeah, they were very excited.
And again, it's, it's one of the best phone calls you can make.
(17:51):
It's the engagement, right.
The engagement phone call, we're engaged and you know, photos and all that.
And then obviously the baby is like, yeah, that's so big.
Yeah, that's big.
Yeah.
So at this point, we make the announcements or just in normal, you know, try I'm, I'm still trying to figure out what to feed her to keep her together to keep her eating.
(18:17):
And she starts trying because I think they tell her at the doctor's appointment that that weekend or that week, they tell her, use Pepsod, you know, try Pepsod.
That'll help, you know, try a wedge pillow, which she hadn't tried that.
And this is common, the heartburn and stuff.
(18:37):
A lot of pregnancies.
I think it is pretty common.
Absolutely.
So she starts with the Pepsod.
I guess it's not helping.
And we're in the drive.
We're in the drive through.
I'm like, what do you want to get for dinner?
And she's like, well, we get, we're going to get KFC.
She's like, KFC sounds good to you.
Let's go get KFC.
We're in the drive through KFC.
(18:58):
And she's like, I just wish, you know, the acid reflux, I really don't like it.
And I went, well, what about the Pepsod?
And the Pepsod doesn't work.
And I'm like, well, they just told you to try it.
Like, well, I, I, I took it on, I took it on Thursday and it didn't do anything.
I'm like, well, how many are you supposed to take a day?
(19:19):
Well, you take it twice a day.
You can take it twice or three times a day.
Well, okay.
So how many times did you take it that day?
Well, I took it once.
I'm like, and then, but, but I took it on Friday and it didn't work too.
And I'm like, what, when did you take it on Friday?
Well, I took it, you know, I took it before dinner.
How did you take it?
How many times did you take it that day?
(19:41):
Once.
I took a one.
And I'm like, okay, so let's, let's give it a try.
Right.
Let's try that.
But yeah, it's like, I think it's interesting because in some ways, super scientific, like this is the way you do it.
And in some ways just like, that's not going to work no matter what.
I don't care if I'm doing it wrong.
It's not going to work.
This is not going to work.
(20:02):
And don't, don't, don't tell me.
Right.
Like that's that.
So at this, now I'm just like, okay, I just need to find healthy, you know, helpful suggestions to keep her getting some nutrition.
Right.
Cause otherwise I'm going to be like, okay, you got to have insurance.
And as men, we're walking a fine line now.
Yeah.
We don't want to fight.
(20:22):
We don't want upsetting.
Right.
And the word you say could be upsetting.
Yup.
So we're, we're already walking on eggshells.
No, I'm trying.
Yeah.
I'm trying to be, you know, I'm not trying to be right.
You're not, I'm not joking around.
Right.
You're like, I'm trying to figure things out, trying to try and figure it out.
And I think I'm doing okay.
And then, so we're getting through the weekend and the food things are going okay at that point.
(20:47):
And this is often the case with, with Kelly.
So now it's a few days later.
So we told, told everybody a few days later, and we're now it's on Sunday.
We're on the back and she comes up with basically how she was a little disappointed in the reaction from wow.
(21:10):
The phone calls.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then, and then I'm like, all right, so it's set with her.
So how to, so I'm like, okay, I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to belabor the point or point anything out because I was hoping that was just, maybe this is what they do and everybody's happy.
Why should I start something?
And it was more with the, it was more with her dad, I think the reaction there.
(21:31):
And in that moment, I don't want to make her feel worse.
I'm not going to pile on and be like.
Yeah, you're right.
I felt the same way.
I couldn't believe it.
And I'm like, look, he just redid his wills.
He has other grandchildren.
Maybe he was just thinking, now I got to redo my wills.
You just gave me work.
And she's like, you know, the guy's retired.
I'm like, you know, and she's like, yeah, I guess that could be, I'm like, maybe now he thinks there's no way you're going to leave me.
(21:58):
It could be that too.
I'm like, oh, that's over.
She's stuck with them.
So trying to make light of it, but it's always interesting.
Can I ask this?
Sure.
Did she say anything about his reaction to her siblings, kids when they were born?
Was he over, you know, the moon?
(22:19):
No, I think it was just, you know, like you want to hear, I expected more that you want to hear the excitement, but in his defense, not a super exciting guy.
Like he doesn't get excited.
He's a pretty level headed guy, but you know, I think any, any daughter, they tell their father, they, you know, they want to hear a little excitement and it's not like there was nothing, but I, you know, at that point, I just, I just want her to, I don't want her focused on that.
(22:48):
Right.
I want her to be focused on all the, all the fun stuff.
It's, it's like when you build this, um, this thought in your brain, how it's going to be like, it's like when it's like, oh my God, this party is going to be great.
I imagined this thing happening and this, and then you get to the party and it's like, oh, there's three people here, but you built this up in your head.
So maybe she had like a little built up, like, oh my God, I'm finally pregnant.
(23:12):
Everybody, you know, people have been asking if we're ever having kids, you know, she's building this up.
My parents are going to say this or that and then it doesn't happen.
I'm sure now she's sitting there going, I guess I made it bigger than could very well be that kind of a, that kind of a feeling.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't be surprised by that at all.
I mean, I think it's natural.
You picture that, I think probably even more for, for women than for men.
(23:37):
Right.
Like they, because you said you could even, you could just imagine your mother getting that phone call.
Oh, you, you knew how that was going to be.
Right.
So without a doubt, you know, she would have been, oh my God, it would have been beautiful.
Absolutely.
And so obviously, you know, maybe she built that up in her head and never got it and went, wait a minute.
But again, like you said, you're not going to, you're not going to remind her.
(24:00):
I'm not going to highlight, not going to make it bigger than, yeah, not going to highlight it.
Yeah.
You don't want to, yeah.
You don't want to, you don't want to do that.
So what did you, what, what, what, what would she say about that?
I mean, it was really just, we talked about it.
I, I made the joke about now you, now she won't leave me.
I think that got her to laugh and we were just on because we were, you know, it was a beautiful day.
(24:21):
And I'm like, look, we got a lot to thank for.
We don't want to be thankful for beautiful day.
We're going to sit here and relax.
You don't have acid reflux right now.
Yeah.
And let's, let's not worry about your dad.
Let's enjoy the day.
That's it.
You know, so that was kind of, you know, that was, those were the highlights of week of week 12 and then into week 13 now finally.
(24:43):
So now we're waiting again for the results of the blood test to see is this a boy or a girl.
Yep.
And this time, you know, I'm doing whatever I'm doing during my work day.
And I, and I get the call from Kelly, which is out of ordinary from, from her for work.
And she's like, I was wrong.
(25:05):
And it's a girl.
Wow.
Oh, so what was that?
So when, when did you find out when that it was, yeah, that they were going to be born?
The minute they said, keep pushing.
I see the head.
Oh, you didn't know until they were born.
Absolutely.
Oh, so I had no idea found out and you just chose not to.
(25:26):
Yep.
I had a, I had no idea if it was a female, a male, um, until they said it's a boy.
Oh, that's exciting.
I okay.
So growing up, I've always, I don't know why, but I always felt like I was going to have a daughter.
Right.
Right.
I just, part of me felt like, you know, that I was going to be a father to a daughter.
(25:48):
So when even up to that point, I'm thinking I'm going to have a daughter.
Yep.
Even though my parents are boys and my wife's side, all boys, except her boys were everywhere.
Right.
And cousins, I have more male than female.
I just felt female.
And, uh, the minute that happened, I was like, okay.
I cause in your head, you're thinking I'm going to have a daughter.
(26:11):
I'm going to play, you know, this, there's going to be toys.
You're imagining all those.
You're already imagining this stuff.
And then all of a sudden you're switching over to, Oh, it's a boy.
Oh, okay.
Um, so that's when I found out both kids.
That's it.
That's that's it.
So you just, you wanted to be surprised.
Yep.
We kept the, we kept the colors neutral.
It was like a greenish light green.
So a little girl would make sense.
(26:31):
Nothing.
There was over, you know, male or female, nothing flowery, but you know, just basic.
And then once you knew, then obviously you buy a courting.
My wife did not want to know.
I didn't care.
All I worried about was health.
Yep.
Honestly, for me, the thing in my head, there's this naming convention in my family.
(26:54):
Okay.
Right.
Yep.
So my dad was a Frank for eight generations in his family.
If the father was a Michael, his firstborn son was Frank.
Frank's firstborn son was Michael.
Like my brother, my brother, my uncles and dad, they did all that.
So that, so all the way to my dad.
(27:14):
And then my dad broke the trend in that normally the other, the other son was something other than Michael or Frank, but he named me after him.
So then now the next generation, Mike, my one cousin, John daughters, my brother daughters, my other cousin daughter, no boys.
(27:36):
So the name thing, the tradition is not going to be carried on if I don't have a bowl.
So all along she's saying a boy, I'm like, fantastic.
Okay.
The name game is back.
Yep.
But then we're talking about it.
Kelly has a brother, Michael.
I have a brother, Michael, both my grandparents.
I have a brother.
You have a brother.
It doesn't really matter.
Michael's all over the place.
So then we're like, well, maybe we'll start our own new tradition or whatever.
(27:59):
So now we find that it's a girl again.
I'm don't have to worry about that.
I'm happy that, that everything is, you know, everything's good.
The health is good.
And a little girl.
And then I start thinking with the boy, you're thinking about certain things and doing certain things with the kid.
And my first thought was, I'm going to be mowing my lawn until I die.
(28:21):
I'm not going to put the little girl on the zero turn won't happen.
And then I'm thinking, what are the fun things I'm going to be able to do with, with a little girl?
And immediately I'm like musical theater, all that, like the music stuff.
And sports.
I mean, all that stuff.
Sure.
I wasn't thinking about sports with a boy either.
(28:41):
Frank's not really into it.
Nope.
Like, yeah, honestly, there was, there was one of those, there was, there were multiple times where I said, I thought, I like, I have no, it might have no interest in that.
Not like I fought, I followed formula one.
I've always been into racing, boxing.
Yep.
Absolutely.
But like being out there and playing, playing soccer or playing by like any of that stuff, I would have been like, I'll do it, but I'm not going to pick up this guitar.
(29:10):
Yeah.
I'm like, don't, wouldn't you rather have a Marshall stack?
I was thinking of all these things.
That was more relief there.
The little girl, that's funny.
I can have fun with.
That's exciting.
And it still is.
Yeah.
When I think we'll talk about it a little bit later, we're going to do like the whole lullaby idea with a little, little boy.
It's one thing singing to a little girl.
So very different.
(29:31):
So nice.
So we find out it's a girl in week 13.
And then if you recall earlier in the episode, when I was talking about the normal cycle, again, I thought that all that goes away, it just goes away miraculously.
But then I'm seeing behavior indicative of the same.
(29:54):
So I'm like, Oh no, that that's not gone.
No, no, no.
So it's enhanced.
My, my, my wife is a delightful woman.
She's always, she's very, very pleasant.
She's very sweet.
She's very kind.
So when this happens, it's, it's, it's like, it's so obvious in the beginning.
(30:17):
I was like, okay, like trying to figure out how serious these things were.
But now, so now I'm like, Oh, and I'm just thinking, how stupid are you?
Like in my caveman brain, I'm like, Oh, that's all that ends.
And now we're pregnant.
The shop closes for nine months.
And I'm like, Oh no, it's the monster is here still.
Okay.
I can prepare.
Let me get it back on the calendar.
(30:37):
Yeah.
And, and, and that's it.
So that was in week 13 when I had that, that realization, not trying to get, I guess this whole podcast is personal before the pregnancy and her, uh, was she having changed mood swings when she was on, Oh, just, she would have PMS, but that was, that was it.
(30:58):
Yeah.
Just, just the noise.
I never have.
I've been lucky.
I guess I have no idea when people say my wife is doing this or that it is every, you know, very, it's very different.
It's more that I feel like Kelly is probably tolerating more of my behavior that she normally wouldn't just because she is a sweet, kind person.
(31:21):
Right.
And that, and then, so that just goes away a little bit.
So I will do or say something that probably irritates her all the time.
And she keeps it in and she just keeps it in, which is great for me, but the four or five days for that week, it's like, what is wrong with you?
She's actually normal.
(31:43):
She is more like a normal person in those times and less her delightful accommodating.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Um, so you're getting both now she's pregnant and that hasn't gone away.
Yeah.
So you have the dietary stuff.
You have the acid reflux and you still have the Crimson Panda wrestling.
(32:04):
So week 14 still wrestling with the Crimson Panda, but it's getting better.
And then we start because I've now at this point read the first of three or four books on how to bring the baby home with the dog.
So just to let people know what, what kind of dogs do you have?
So I have two dogs.
So I have a, uh, soft-coated Wheaton Terrier.
(32:26):
So rumple rumple is a great dog, very energetic.
And then when rumple was about five, we got Watson who is a sheep, a doodle and Watson.
We thought because of the weight of the mother and the father, when we talked to the breeder, we thought it was going to be like 65 pounds, bigger dog.
Right.
(32:46):
But as soon as we got him home and took him to the vet, they're like, oh no, he's going to be a hundred pounds.
Like he was going to, he favors the sheep dog.
So he, he ended up, he's about 85.
He's a monster.
He's a big boy.
He's a puppy.
He thinks he's a lapdog.
Yes.
He wants, he wants attention.
(33:07):
They compete for attention and he could read like he's broken a piece, one piece of furniture in our entryway twice.
When I walk into the studio, the house where the studio is, um, we just, it's for the first five minutes.
Oh my God.
My poor sister from Texas.
When she comes to visit, she's only five feet tall and she's just like, Whoa.
(33:29):
Yeah.
With kisses and love.
He's very, he just wants to love on you, but it's intimidating when you're 85, you know, it's an 85 pound dog.
So now they got the idea of what kind of dogs are, is this baby coming home to?
Yes.
And it was interesting is rumple was like 32 pounds.
When we got Watson rumple just went to the vet in the last couple of days for a checkup immediately after we got Watson because there's this dog.
(33:57):
Watson was the same size.
He was like eight weeks old, same size as her at that point.
And then it just started expanding and he plays with her all the time.
So rumple went from like 32 pounds and the vet was like little doughy, like cut back on the food to like 35 pounds, solid muscle.
(34:18):
She's a tank.
And now this last one, she's 39 pounds.
And the doctor's not saying anything about it.
Like she's just sturdy muscle because they're right.
She's trying to, she's trying to dog is very, she's you pet it.
You could, it's not luxurious.
No.
Cause I remember your other dogs.
It was very fluffy.
No, no, no.
Rumpel is, I felt that too.
I was like, Rumpel is tough meat in there.
(34:41):
Yeah.
Rumpel's beefy.
Yes.
And, but she's got to keep up with this dog.
That's gigantic, right?
So there, there was there, they are, they can be challenging and mostly my fault.
I used to have very clear rules.
The dogs didn't get on the bed.
The dogs didn't get on the couch.
None of that stuff.
When Watson came along, Watson is big and goofy, but he's, he is adorable.
(35:04):
And I immediately caved.
Oh my God.
Your, your daughter's going to have everything.
She has no chance of not being spoiled.
Yeah.
I know.
If I, if I, if I roll over for the dog, your daughter's got everything.
You're probably right.
(35:24):
I worry.
I worry about that.
Oh, that's what it would be like.
He would like first, it'd be just the front paws on the couch.
And it was like, so now it's like looking at you.
We literally bought another, we bought a love seat because there was no more room on the couch for me because of the dogs now.
So we haven't even gotten that far yet.
We started now just keeping them off the bed.
Now they didn't sleep with us.
(35:45):
We weren't like crazy people like that.
But when we would go to bed, we both be reading.
The dogs would get be in bed with us and hanging out.
And then as soon as the lights go out, they get up in the bed whenever they wanted.
And so we started in, you know, then in week 14 with prepping them and getting them, that's going to be a huge change for them.
(36:07):
It huge.
It is.
It already run the house.
I mean, you know what I mean?
That we're I'm the next step where we're at now is getting them off the, off the furniture.
Okay.
And it's gone well with the bed.
Rumpel seems to have a harder time with remembering Watson's like, okay, it's too much effort to get up there anyway.
But, okay.
So we're hoping, but there's all kinds of, and when we do the book reviews, the book report, I'll go into all that.
(36:32):
The books were valuable.
It seems crazy.
I wish she hadn't bought four books.
We're having a conversation today.
She's like, you really need to read this book.
I'm like, I would be reading that book if you hadn't bought four books.
I'm like, I only have so much time to do this stuff.
And so we, we start prepping the dogs in week 14 and Kelly starts, she borrows from my sister, a wedge pillow to help with the acid reflux seems to help a little bit.
(36:58):
So that's good.
And then we're headed into week 15 week 15 really is probably the most difficult week from tired difficulty with fine and stuff that she wants to eat being exhausted.
Like she's, she's pretty tired.
(37:19):
And this is when it should be, it should be kind of resolving, right?
Like the first trimester is where most of that is happening.
We're already a couple of weeks out of that.
I'm seriously now growing concerned.
I don't understand how she doesn't eat, like how little she eats in a normal situation.
Right.
But now I'm like, you're feeding to, she's, she's throwing, she's eating and not eating a lot.
(37:41):
And she's having, she's having more, she's throwing up and I'm like, I'm like, okay, we're like, we got to get her to eat stuff.
But you know, I, I'm having some success finding different options and she's finding certain things that are working, but it's rough.
Cause I think at that point starting to wear on her to the point where we went over to my sister's house and the next morning she's like, well, you know, Avi and I were both a little, you know, is she, how is she doing?
(38:08):
Like they just saw she was not her usual delightful self, especially when somebody is one way.
And that's the only way, you know, her never had a kid before.
So you wouldn't even know, like, well, I remember on your first child, right now you're going from, this is the only way I know this woman, which is kind of pleasant and always trying to make somebody happy and feel good.
And now she's, I wouldn't, she's, she isn't the, she isn't the girl that you would say was perky, but always engaging and positive.
(38:37):
And yeah, and she's just, she's exhausted.
I don't remember the last time I had to throw up, but she was throwing up all the time.
It's awful.
Starting toward the end of that week, starting to improve.
And then we kind of had that visit and then we're rolling into week 16.
So now it's a couple of weeks after we're going back to the OBGYN.
(38:58):
So right before that things are a little bit better, but I'm still seeing, she's not eating a whole lot.
So of course, what does the doctor always, you know, you have to sit down, doctor comes in.
So how are things going?
Oh, things are going much better.
She literally says, oh, everything's been going great.
And then she looks at me like he knows I'm lying.
(39:21):
Right.
And I'm like, am I going to rat her out?
Are you going to rat me out?
Yeah.
And I'm like, I just roll my eyes.
And like, so they're talking and they go through everything like a lawyer.
Can I see you in your chambers sidebar sidebar?
So, and then she kind of goes through some of the challenges she's been having and they're reassuring.
And then, but I'm still like, so is her weight on track where it should be?
(39:48):
And I realize as this is coming out of my mouth at this point, I don't think she looks like she's not showing at all.
She doesn't have a little baby bump or anything.
She's tall.
She's thin.
And then there's me.
Okay.
So, and as I'm saying this, I see the look on the, the doctor's face go from interested to what an asshole, because I think somehow she's interpreting my question.
(40:18):
Not that is she gaining enough weight, but is she gaining too much weight?
Oh my God.
And I'm like, and I can see the, like the look is like, oh yeah, she's, she's fine.
So how did you ask that again to her?
I, I think I just said is, so is her weight on track, right?
Is her weight on track?
But how could you like, you can't look at her.
(40:40):
She doesn't even look pregnant.
You would have to be divorced.
She's four months pregnant practically.
And, and, but I could see it.
And the nurse is just like, I get the side eye from the nurse.
That's funny.
So how did you get out of that?
I just was like, okay, good.
But I could definitely see there was that.
(41:01):
I would have been like, I think she's too skinny.
I'm not a jerk.
Listen, buddy.
Like I could just picture it.
Your wife looks fine.
Yeah.
Maybe we should, you want us to weigh you?
Who's pregnant here?
Oh, that's, that's funny.
I'm like, I'm probably never going to ask another question as long as we're going there.
No more weight questions.
(41:22):
We did that.
And then that was it.
Everything's going good and is on track and week 16.
And then we had the upgrade from the wedge pillow to the Pacific body pillow for pregnant people.
Yep.
That it's a longer, it looks like a lowercase F or like a candy cane with, with like a floppy nose in the middle.
(41:49):
So it's like, yes, I've never used, we've never had that.
It works like a charm.
She tries it out.
She loves it.
And stupid.
How do you use, what do you do?
Hug it?
What do you do?
Basically?
Yeah.
Like you, you hug it and then it's got that the, the, the floppy part, you can kind of put wherever she wants to.
So to support or above her belly.
(42:09):
Okay.
Twisted and I just know it doesn't happen.
All I know is it made a difference.
Okay.
She's more comfortable.
Um, and, and yeah, so that was a, that was a big thing.
She, she got the body pillow and then we roll into 17 week 17, the upset stomach stuff starts to resolve.
(42:32):
She's got more energy.
Okay.
She's feeling much better, much more like herself.
You get her on a treadmill, so she loses weight.
I'm like, no more, no more book for you.
Like I'm trying to get her to eat.
It was, that was a funny moment with the doctor.
So we're getting ready to start doing this stuff and I start learning lullabies.
(42:55):
The idea came from, we're watching movies one weekend and Kelly points out this Danny K movie and it's the court jester.
Okay.
And there's a, a really cute song where he's trying to get this baby to sleep and he sings this lullaby and I'm like, Oh, I could do lullabies like it.
And it's a really pretty song.
(43:15):
So I make a note of it.
So now I'm starting to learn on learning songs.
It's fun.
Yeah.
And I'm, I'm enjoying that.
And then one time I'm practicing and Kelly happened to be home.
So she's on the couch.
I'm there and I'm, you know, looking, looking up different things and trying, trying some songs out.
And I had already had the experience without her around some of these songs.
(43:38):
They're all the, you know, they're all touching, pretty songs.
Now I'm thinking that I'm going to sing this to my daughter and I will get choked up singing somebody like I, where I can't, I gotta have to stop.
And I'm thinking, gee, is this a normal reaction?
Like, am I more emotional?
Like then the time I'm that Kelly is there and I'm practicing and I get to one of those points where I would normally start to choke up and I look up and she's full on crying.
(44:11):
Cause you guys are a mess.
She's just crying.
It made me stop.
I'm like, are we more broken than I thought we were?
Like, are we missing all joy, man?
Well, it is, it's the journey you guys went through to get to this point and now it's real.
And you're imagining everything that you've thought about not ever having again.
(44:33):
And now it's in front of you.
Isn't it crazy how it's faceless right now?
It's you haven't touched it.
You haven't, you haven't heard it cried and it's got you already.
You're tearing up even the thought you're imagining a fake face right now.
You don't know how it looks, but you were imagining your daughter or your son, you know, to certain people.
(44:57):
And it's crazy to me how we fall in love before we even touch this human.
And that's what you're experiencing.
You are so much in love with this being, with this idea, with, with this thing that you created with your wife.
When people say it's a miracle, it is the magic part about it.
(45:19):
The faith end of it, the everything goes together.
It makes one emotion.
Right.
And that's what flows out of you.
I think there is part of that.
I also think that we're probably pretty broken too.
Like being objectively thinking back, look, I had a better childhood than lots of people, but there are those, there are those things that you think like, it'll just be a particular line and I'll stop and think about it and start to make connections with childhood stuff and what you wanted, the relationship you wanted, the relationship I wanted with my dad that wasn't there.
(45:56):
And I think Kelly has some of that, some of that too.
And Jen, but I think more generally, I think for her, it it's more, I'm broken and she's hormonal, right?
Like she's pregnant.
You have no reason.
You don't have a human growing in you.
I don't have anything going on.
(46:16):
I should be happy as a clam.
And I'm like playing the song from Dumbo and crying.
She's swinging them.
Do you, do you think, do you think you think your age, you're older and more emotional because I'm crying at everything.
Yeah.
I cry.
I think there is, I do think that as you get older, when the testosterone starts to roll off for me, it was like a fog lifted and you see the world in a different way with more layers.
(46:49):
I do believe that when you're young, you're focused on, it's all things and drive.
And then when that goes away, I think you start to see things and you're, and you're willing to get, and you don't, you don't care about being strong or tough or any of that stuff.
Gone.
Yeah.
That, that, that's gone.
(47:10):
I think that you put it right.
You feel like you can see clearer.
You see, you see life, you see the world in a, in a, in a different light.
I think that, I think that's true.
That's why I mentioned before at your age doing this, you're going to be so much clearer.
Yeah.
Maybe the word that I didn't have back then, your mind's clear and you're going to see things differently than if you were 28 years old having a child.
(47:32):
Right.
I mean, so that's going to help out as well when you're parenting through hard stuff.
There's no doubt.
There are times you encounter things with work and dealing with employees and difficult situations.
15 years ago, 20 years ago, the person would have been in a dumpster.
Right.
Believe him.
I worked with him most of my life.
But now it's almost amusing.
(47:54):
You metabolize things differently.
I am having a lot of fun with the lullaby stuff.
Yeah.
You're doing the lullabies.
So find it.
Yeah.
So I'm, I'm enjoying, and I've continued to enjoy that.
We're going to add that to our podcast.
The fun part when Kelly was around was now I have the context of, I'm singing this to a little girl.
Right.
So I'm finding these fun songs that are romantic songs, like American songbook songs that you can take down and I can sing real low and soft and it'll be, it wouldn't work as a lullaby for a little boy, but it'll work for a little girl.
(48:26):
Let me get to pay.
So you're actually singing to the baby right now playing.
Um, well I'm, and I'm thinking about it and I'm, I'm, I'm playing and Kelly is there, but I'm not like, I don't have a speaker on her belt.
You're not like singing it into the, right.
Into the Eddie Van Halen was playing the guitar.
Three 16.
I would like to, that's a fun, uh, yes, that's right.
(48:50):
No, I have to for Wolfgang.
And look how great he is.
Yes.
He's pretty, he's pretty amazing.
He's amazing.
But he has a different relationship with food too.
He has that relationship.
That's right.
He's got an Italian mother.
He's got the other mother.
So no, I'm not, I'm not singing to the baby, but I'm, I'm picturing that and that, and I'm bringing out these songs and I started to sing them and I'm thinking Kelly's like, you're enjoying doing that.
(49:12):
I'm like, I'm going to make it impossible for this girl to love another man.
My father, like that, that's the goal, right?
I don't want to ruin.
Can you run a company?
Can you play music?
Can you sing?
Can you, it's like the bar's going to be high for some, some kid to come along.
(49:32):
Or so that's good.
Cause I'm going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to be too old.
They're going to be like, yeah, that guy drooling in the corner.
Yeah.
He was pretty sharp.
So I said, then she's like, that shouldn't be your goal.
Okay.
Maybe, maybe Kelly's with you.
Yes.
She'll, she will.
She will keep that stuff in check.
(49:54):
That's funny though.
So we're now we're like week 18.
Now the baby bump is there.
People are noticing it's fun for me.
I'm like, it's exciting.
It's a thing.
Yeah.
That's there.
Got more energy.
Now we're doing, we're doing more stuff because we've got a little orchard on our property.
We've got a couple of apple trees.
(50:14):
So we're picking apples and enjoying that work on some of the home projects started.
So getting the nursery ready.
I've got some stuff I've got to do and we're going to be doing some light electrical and some light construction work, but that's fun.
You're good at that.
Picking things out.
Yeah.
It'll be, it'll be fun.
It'll take, take a little time, but that'll be good.
(50:35):
And then we're into week 19, week 19 is.
What I thought might be a pregnancy thing, but it wasn't.
It was the arrival of Fartzilla.
I heard Kelly toot more in three days than I had in our whole relationship.
(50:56):
I'm like, what is going on?
Like, it's not me.
It's the baby.
I'm excited.
Like, I'm like, finally.
Yes.
You're like me.
Yeah.
That's it.
We're a team now.
You can't yell at me anymore.
Yes, I can.
You're disgusting.
I, I have toots.
This is the baby.
So I thought, wow, this will be fun.
(51:17):
But it went away in a couple of days.
So by week 20, Fartzilla is gone, but then week 20 is the full anatomy scan.
Yes.
So that's a big one.
We go in this practice, big practice.
You go in, they do all the normal stuff.
You go in for the sonogram and they start.
(51:41):
This time, they're looking for everything.
So they're taking measurements.
And these are the length of the femurs and doing, seeing everything that is on track.
Everything's going good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
I'm like, okay, like this is, this is all good news.
And you're getting to see now, I have some of the pictures and you can see like the profile of that's a little girl, like that's a baby's head.
(52:06):
You get the, my favorite one immediately.
The first thing that I really recognized was two feet, like there they are.
I'm like, those are feet.
Yeah.
So that was, that was a lot of fun.
And Kelly is feeling now movement and not really kicks or things, but little flutters and things that are happening.
(52:27):
Now you saw, you saw the feet.
Did you see the hands?
We'd no jazz hands this time.
There was a little kind of like, leave me alone moments.
Like, what are you doing?
Like, this is my, that's my couch.
So, uh, no, but not the hands.
That's where the feet definitely saw that.
And then they're, they're like, oh, there's the spine and they're measuring and there's this and that and looking at the heart and the kidneys and all this stuff and taking all these pictures and their label.
(52:53):
And I'm like, the girl works incredibly fast and you can barely keep up with what they're doing.
And then you go and talk to the doctor, different person.
This time we go through it and everything's good.
Everything's good.
And then they say at the end, well, there is one thing I said, with everything else being good, we're not really concerned about it, but there was a bright spot in her heart, but the functions are all the structure of the heart would look completely normal.
(53:20):
So it could just be a normal artifact of development, calcium or something.
Can't couldn't there just be one where everything's like, everything's good.
You don't have to, I felt that way too.
It seems like they never want to let you go with everything's great.
Cause then they want to cover themselves.
Yeah.
Cause I felt the same way.
(53:40):
I'm like, you're always going home with, well, we did see this and we heard that, but yeah.
And obviously nothing came out of mine.
But I, I don't know if it's something that they just kind of go, you know what?
We saw something.
They'll probably think it's nothing, but I have to say it because it's on the photo.
It's, you know what I mean?
(54:01):
I think in this, this day and age with malpractice and all that stuff, I think they're terrified.
Exactly.
They never want to tell you.
Cause that's why they're told you at the same time, we told you about this thing, but at the same time, the whole function, the functioning, the heart is functioning.
Yeah.
So to make you sleep at night, you're, you're good, but I can't, I have to tell you.
I got to tell you we did.
(54:21):
Exactly.
So hopefully that's all that is.
So we did the anatomy scan, everything good.
I had some travel at right after that.
I had some travel for work.
So we're at 20 weeks.
Yeah.
This will be our next episode.
We'll be real time.
Yeah.
I walked in today.
I didn't know she was here.
Yeah.
And I did get to see the baby bump.
(54:42):
That's right.
You could, even though she still looks like her thin, but if you really look, she's wearing her shirt a little bit more room there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's, she's still, she's within five pounds of where she always is.
Like it's nothing.
But you could tell, you could tell she's a pregnant woman and that's nice.
So you've been through it, but we can always go back and revisit, you know, week nine or week seven or whatever.
(55:05):
But we want, we just wanted to bring you guys up to date.
Yeah.
So the next time we talk, it's going to be happening.
And then we'll be able to hopefully start with our next episode.
Start weaving, weaving in.
I know there's going to be an update for, for a check, please.
We're going to have that.
There'll be at least one book report.
Cause I'm almost finished with book four on how to talk to the dogs.
(55:27):
Yeah.
And then there's a bunch of other stuff coming with that.
Maybe a lullaby.
I know you did an interview with, um, with John, one of our friends.
Yeah.
We're going to probably sneak in there somewhere down the line.
That will happen.
And with this going out week three, the first episode in our timeline that we're recording this, I just went out this morning.
Right.
(55:47):
I'm hoping we get a few listeners and people start emailing us with ideas and thoughts and things to talk about and questions.
We really want that to be a big part of what we do.
And I want to say this about myself and we're not saying that we're professionals, we're doctors, we're medical, our medical terms are going to be off.
(56:09):
This is just our life in what we experienced with our wives being pregnant and us being or me being a father and he will be soon.
It's what's happened to us.
I just want to throw it out there.
We're not pretending that we know everything we don't.
We know we actually know less than not even close in my imagination.
(56:30):
They're thinking this guy has no idea what he's up against.
Right.
Right.
I think we'll get into that.
And that's okay.
Right now we're keeping it very safe.
Like, yeah.
So week 11.
That is one thing that, yeah.
If people come along for the ride on this, they will learn very quickly that I'm very planned, structured, organized person.
(56:54):
I will have very detailed plans on how everything should go.
And it will be very difficult for me as that does not happen.
And I got into life and anything I do is no reading.
There's no books.
There is no, no lists to go by.
It's kind of like, I feel it.
(57:15):
I do it.
It's life.
So that's why I think we're, we're together in this.
He's more like, I'm going to read about it.
I'm going to learn as much.
And then I'm going to still do the situation.
Go.
What the hell am I doing?
Where I just skipped the whole reading part and go, what the hell am I doing?
And figure it out.
One of my, like, it's like my motto.
I say it all the time.
And I think I got it from watching my dad.
(57:36):
My dad was like, before the internet, before any of that, he was one who would figure out how to do stuff.
Yeah.
And, uh, which is great.
It's just great.
It is.
And I always, I will always say like, how hard can it be?
That's like my, how hard are you going to be?
I'll figure it out.
This is the one word of the, the first time the voice in my head said hard.
Yes.
(57:56):
Like this is going to be, this is going to be more difficult than this.
It'll be okay.
You guys, you guys can help me along the way.
Yeah.
No, that's why we want to do this.
Even the stories.
Like I look forward to hearing every person is out there at whatever stage of parenting.
They're at is got a story.
They always say there's no manual to this, right?
Where you can read as much as you want, what your dogs are going to do and what you're how to have a cat now.
(58:21):
And then it happens.
You're like, what the hell is going on?
Literally the book, the dog book I'm reading right now is basically saying all the other stuff that you hear is wrong.
Like literally like everything I read in the first three is like, don't be stupid.
That's not, none of that's going to work.
It's a dog.
Every one of them says, bring home a blanket from the nursery.
(58:41):
And let the dog smell it.
And he's like, sure.
If you want to do that, you can, but it's not going to do anything.
That's why it's always, there's always another opinion.
But are you, are you, um, well, and are you worried about that aspect?
Like bring the baby home?
I'm not, I want to make it, I want to make it as easy for, it would be heartbreaking for me.
Look, if something God forbid went wrong where they weren't getting all like, obviously the dog's got, they got to go, the dog's got to go.
(59:07):
And that would be horrible.
Like I would be heartbroken, but that would be the way it would have to be.
So I don't want that to happen.
And it'll be a, it's going to be a big adjustment.
They might surprise you.
I think they're going to be, honestly, I think they're going to be fine when they, I think they know, I think they do have an instinct for that.
The difficulty is all of that stuff with dogs is about the pack mentality.
(59:31):
Who's the pack leader and who isn't.
And the challenge that we have is being the caring and kind and loving person that my wife is.
Kelly comes in like third or fourth in the pack order.
Like they, they listen to me when I'm not home.
They're on like high alert with every sound, every, the, the train goes by because they don't see her as being the boss.
(59:58):
We have to try to elevate her so that they understand their place.
Because then they relax and that's what you want, but it's worth making the effort.
So it's a smooth transition.
It's something you know you have to.
I want the kid to have a great relationship.
Like I want them to have fun.
But I never had, I didn't ever have a dog.
And it is a different, nothing will ever love you like a dog loves, loves you.
(01:00:22):
You can even say that about the kids because kids will, they will hate you at times.
Dogs are like, I love you all the time.
No matter what.
It's a different experience.
Yeah.
So we'll, we'll see how that goes.
But yeah, next week we'll be, we'll be caught up with my inner.
We will have some of our hopefully we'll have video.
And we're probably, we're, we're two episodes shelf.
(01:00:42):
So we got the first one already dropped.
First one just came out next week.
Yeah.
So this one, this one will be coming out two weeks from today.
Okay.
So, or for you now, you're listening to it right now.
Thank you.
If you stuck with us all the way to the end.
Thank you for spending the time with us again.
We hope you're enjoying it.
Please send us emails.
(01:01:04):
G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
Go to our website.
Check it out.
Like us on Facebook and all that stuff.
We have Instagram, Facebook.
We're on Spotify, Amazon, I heart radio, and then Apple podcast should be coming on.
Hopefully by the time you see this.
(01:01:24):
So the normal, all the normal podcast everywhere.
Social media podcasts I listen to.
So thank you again for spending the time.
Look forward to seeing some of your, your feedback and ideas and comments and stories.
We'll go from there.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
(01:01:46):
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
So you don't miss any of our future adventures while you're at it.
Give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier, vision, whatever you crazy kids are using.
(01:02:06):
Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.
This is the Great Hair and Day Care Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ range.
Your hosts, Frank Cereo and Carlo Russo.
Episode three.
It's very exciting.
So welcome back.
If you are joining us for the first or second or third time, could be the third time.
(00:36):
I am Frank Cereo.
I am 55 years old.
My wife is now 20 weeks pregnant and I'm here with my friend, Carlo Russo.
Hello everyone.
And what we're hoping most out of this podcast is that everything works.
We've been trying to record video and audio.
Sometimes we get the audio and no video.
(00:58):
Sometimes we just get me.
Sometimes it's just Carlo.
That's all right.
Sometimes it's no, it's all crappy audio.
It's a funny thing is Frank, if somebody walked in here, they would think we know what we're doing.
I mean, we have lights.
We have three cameras.
This is how I make it.
We have three cameras.
And at this point we have no video at all.
Three cameras running the whole time.
(01:18):
We've had no lights.
We've got audio.
We've got everything set up.
I bought a special stand.
Hopefully I can slide this out.
So we look good.
Let's hope.
Sound, I don't know.
We don't know what's going to happen.
We look great.
No one will ever see it.
Yeah, that's basically where we are.
So, uh, anyway, we welcome back.
(01:39):
So I wanted to, I'm going to add going forward.
One of the things that there, there's all these cute apps that tell you in each week, what's going on with your baby.
Okay.
All right.
So in week 20, the baby is the size of a banana.
I love bananas.
The baby can swallow their digestives.
And this is the most, the most interesting thing for me, the digestive system in the baby is now producing meconium.
(02:07):
Meconium, right?
Isn't that what kills Superman?
That's kryptonite.
Oh, sorry.
Basically what it means is she's working at the, she, or he is working on his first poop.
So now that word, I know it could happen in there.
It could happen on the way out or it could happen in the diaper the first time.
So wait a minute, wait a minute, let's back it up.
(02:28):
It's working on poop.
There's no guarantee when it could come out after they have arrived in the world.
They just hold onto it.
I guess.
I don't know how it works.
I just know it's meconium.
That's what it said.
And it could happen in the womb on the way out or in a diaper after they're settled in and going to college.
(02:50):
I don't know.
So that that's where we are in week 20.
So as you know, we kind of, we're trying to play catch up.
We want this to be kind of live and we got through week nine last week.
(03:10):
So we're going to pick up on week 10.
So the notable stuff week 10 up to this point, I think probably around week six, maybe even seven.
Kelly started with, it's a boy.
I just know it's a boy.
And I'm like, how do you like, how do you know this first time woman pregnant?
I can feel it's a boy.
(03:30):
It's a boy in my family.
All the old Italian ladies were like really good.
My grandmother told my mother she was pregnant with me before my mother knew.
She's like, you're pregnant.
She's like, you're crazy.
I remember.
Do you remember the whole thing about she's carrying it high or low?
It's a boy low.
It's a high.
Remember that?
(03:51):
Which is all bull.
I mean, it's all gas.
It's a 50, 50 shot.
And I think what it was is she read somewhere that if you have food aversions, it's tip more typically a bull.
And she had, she was having lots of that stuff.
So she's thinking for the last few weeks up till now coming into week 10, she's thinking it's a boy.
(04:11):
And there is this testing.
So you're not, you don't really find out until week 20, right?
So week 20 is the, is the gender reveal?
What kind of?
Yeah.
Cause that's what, if they, if you want to know that's when they're going to do an ultrasound and be able to see parts and pieces.
So we're not, we're not.
(04:32):
And at that, so you can find out then, but there's also this testing.
So it's non-invasive prenatal testing.
So basically what it means is that it's a blood test that they can do and it looks for chromosomal abnormality.
So the first time Kelly comes up with this pamphlet about it and I'm like, well, like who cares?
(04:52):
Like, why would we do this?
Well, you know, it looks at stuff.
I'm like, is there, if we find out there is something, we're not going to do anything about it, right?
Like we're not going to make a decision like that.
So why do it?
And well, it does tell the gender.
And I'm like, do you want to know?
And she's well, I don't, I guess I doesn't matter.
(05:13):
You know, for planning it might be, I'm like, look, I don't care.
We can do it either.
Like a week later.
She's like, well, you know, there's that test.
So, uh, okay.
Clearly she wants to do it.
And honestly, I don't know if it was more for the screening to know another green light, like, okay, everything's good.
Or just to find out the gender.
So, but all it is really is, is a blood test.
(05:36):
So they, they, they do a blood draw like they're doing all the time.
And then we basically, we do that test in week 10 and it takes a week or so.
So we're, we're waiting from then.
So that's kind of the, the appointment that week they take the blood and we'll, we'll find out soon.
Okay.
And then we'd had the scare in week nine.
She's coming home from work.
(05:58):
She stops at Wegmans and, and says, or no, we were going, we were going to Wegmans.
I think we were together, which is a grocery store for somebody.
If you're not aware, it's a wonderful grocery store.
And she's like, I got it.
I have to use the restroom.
As soon as we get in, she's like, we need to go home.
She had another bleed.
(06:18):
Okay.
Now this time, not as bad, but still another scare.
We're like, what's going on?
Because again, if you recall from the last episode, I was so happy that everything was okay.
Never asked questions.
So I don't know.
Tell me anything else.
I'm getting pancakes.
(06:39):
So there was, there was no, we didn't know.
We had no idea.
So now again, it's like, okay, so this time I'm handling it a little bit better, but still very scary.
She goes in for a regular appointment.
They check her out.
Everything's okay.
And what they say is, well, what this looks like is something called a sub chorionic hematoma.
(07:01):
All right.
So, okay.
What's fancy?
So Google it up.
It is when blood pools between the uterine wall and the chorionic membrane.
I don't know what that is.
We're not doctors.
There's a blood pools.
And then this, this can sometimes happen.
Common in the first trimester to cause vaginal bleeding.
(07:24):
But up until the first one, she had had no bleeding.
That was another thing that I didn't know.
And if we get far enough, we'll talk about it later.
I just assume once the, once her normal menstrual cycle stops, all that's over with, but apparently some women have their cycles through their pregnancy and all that.
(07:45):
So, and I should know all these things, but yeah, I can't imagine.
I would, I should know this stuff, but all the books that I've been given by my lovely wife are about introducing like four books on introducing the dogs to the baby.
(08:08):
So I haven't gotten to the one that tells you about the child.
I'm still working on how do they have the dog not eat the kid when they get home.
So there there's that it's common.
But so the whole thing with the cycle in my head, save this up for later.
I just think that's all over until she has the baby.
So we'll come back to that.
That's kind of week 10.
(08:30):
We go into week 11 and now it's like a handoff from the specialist that we were working with to the OBGYN that will handle this through, through the delivery delivery.
So the first thing we find out is the blood test to find us.
We're thinking that now I'm thinking we're going to find out.
And I'm thinking because Kelly keeps saying, she thinks it's a boy.
(08:53):
I'm like, okay, like I would be excited.
I'm a happy either way, but thinking, okay, we're going to find out.
Well, what they do is they're you, they're looking at blood.
They look at her blood for DNA from the baby, right?
So there wasn't enough fetal DNA in the, in her blood sample for them to have a conclusion.
(09:14):
Exactly.
So we don't know.
So, so we basically have to do, if we want to, we have to do that again.
This is week 11.
We're in week 11.
Yes.
Otherwise we go in, they, they do the, you know, the normal doctor stuff and they, they set her down and they do a, another ultrasound.
But then we go in and we meet the PA.
(09:36):
I don't think it's a, an OBGYN, but they're literally, they, they're talking so fast.
It starts, it's over.
I don't even know what happened.
Like, is everything good?
And I usually, I'm trying to pass out.
Like I'm looking at Twitter, I'm trying to pay attention.
And I'm still like, they talked to, I asked Kelly afterwards, did you like, is this because of reading you've done that you understood everything she was saying?
(09:57):
It was like, boom, boom.
I'm so, I'm everything's good.
I'm, I'm happy.
That's it.
So they take, they take the blood again to do the noninvasive test again.
So, and that's pretty much it in week 11, slide into week 12.
And this is when, this is something that I should have, I should have brought up last week, but I think is important to understand about my wife.
(10:26):
I love my wife.
She's a brilliant woman.
Kelly is very brilliant.
She is.
She is also has a very narrow band of acceptable temperatures, except she, she is, I have, I have for years now called her, I tease her that she is the princess in the peak.
(10:47):
Like she knows if it's 72 degrees, she's happy.
If it is 71, she is in a parka and starting a fire from our furniture.
If she, if it is 73, she is sweltering and we have to turn everything off.
Very narrow.
So when these things start happening with morning sickness and things like that, this is very like, this is unacceptable.
(11:14):
That's a big thing for her.
Yeah, it is.
Absolutely.
It is a, it is a big thing.
So she starts really in earnest now with some basically like acid reflux, little things, even her, like her tea in the morning, like she drinks tea in the morning and she's the kind of person that to a normal day for her, like she would have tea in the morning and then not eat anything until like 11 o'clock.
(11:41):
She's not up, not eating, not used to eating breakfast or even three regular meals.
Like she's not a big eater.
She looks at food to survive.
She looks like a normal person where we look at it.
Oh, that's a state.
That's a one that I need.
And now you love me and I'm safe.
It is not.
Yeah, absolutely.
(12:01):
She is the opposite of an emotional eating.
She is the opposite of that.
So she starts with that.
And then now it's like, I'm trying to just find something she can eat.
I'm like, okay, what are we going to have?
And just trying to find something that she, that doesn't make her miserable after she eats it.
But still I'm starting, I'm getting a little worried that she doesn't look like she's pregnant at all at this point.
(12:26):
And like, is she getting enough nutrition for her and the baby?
So I'm trying, I'm trying to be creative and suggest things and some stuff's working and some stuff's not.
We go back now and they do in week 12, they do an early anatomy scan.
So this is like the version of the 20 week where they look at what they can see at that point.
(12:50):
So they go in and this time, because they go through and they're doing a more detailed scan, they figure out, yes, this was a subchorionic hematoma.
They found it on this scan.
So now we know what happened.
They can securely say that's what it was.
Yes.
So that kind of closes the, that chapter.
(13:11):
We can worry a little bit less and it's just, okay, that's what they say.
It could repeat itself or once they did it twice now.
Yeah.
But now we're kind of at the end of the first trimester, so it shouldn't, it shouldn't continue, but at least the, cause the first two times they kept saying, we think it's this, but they weren't seeing whatever they saw in this scan.
(13:33):
So we got that feedback, a little breathe, a sigh, another sigh of relief, but now it's week 12 and we can start to make announcements so we can start, we can start telling people.
So you already know, my siblings, when they had come to visit shortly before this in the summer, you know, they, my sisters and my brother knew it was a small circle.
(13:57):
It was a very small circle.
So at that point, Kelly had not talked to her mom or dad.
So she's like, well, you know, I'm like, well, when do you want to do it?
She's like, well, we can call them now.
So she calls and it was interesting for me because I'm thinking I would, nice.
It would be to call my mom.
How, what it would be like for her, how she would react.
(14:22):
My father, less effusive.
It would probably be something like that, but I'm thinking what that would be like.
And she calls, she, and a lot of times because her mother is busy and her father, sometimes they're tough to get ahold of, but phone rings and mother answers and she asks if her father's there and gets them both on the phone and she tells them.
(14:47):
And the reaction was if I called my parents and said, I got a new coffee table, right?
That's, that was, and I don't know if caught them at a bad time or if they were distracted or anything, but number one, I'm, I'm just surprised that the level of enthusiasm, but there, there are times when I see things with, with Kelly's family.
(15:12):
I wait for a reaction, how I would react and it just goes right over her.
So it's a different family.
Every, all families have different dynamics.
The first thing I'm nothing.
I just like we go through it and she doesn't seem to be impacted by it at all.
(15:35):
She's used to their, yeah, she's used to how, how that is.
And I'm like, okay, like that's.
It's more on you than on them because that's how they grew up probably, right?
That reaction is normal.
Their family is very much, they wouldn't yell if they were on fire, right?
Like that's just not, that's not how they operate.
(15:55):
And we just yell.
Right.
So, yeah.
So there's a huge disconnect when they, if I get at all agitated or energetic and how I'm talking about something, they're like, they need a safe room, right?
Like it's very different.
So she gets that reaction, but so, but you know, nice.
And then we're, you know, we're making all the other calls.
(16:16):
That was the, the, the big important call.
Then we're talking to, she calls her brother and his wife and, and, and some cousins and they're going, you know, kind of making, making the tour and telling everybody.
And it's fun.
You know, there's different, you know, my, my, my cousin, Mark, who lives in Ohio, I, you know, I, I sent a text to that group of cousins, him and his siblings, and I immediately get a call and there's like cheering and all kinds of excitement.
(16:42):
So it was, it was nice.
And that, that was always a fun.
Yeah.
Do you remember like what, how did your, how did your parents react when.
I remember calling my mom.
She just absolutely started crying with joy.
Obviously my mom already had her grand kids from my older brother.
(17:03):
So she had two at the time before our one.
So she was very excited for a new, another son, not the same to have a child.
My father was very excited.
I remember, and I'm going to throw this out and we'll probably talk about this with names and all that.
But I remember telling my father that we had, we were pregnant within like minutes.
(17:29):
He goes, don't name him.
Don't name him after me.
It's, I don't like my name.
You shouldn't have an old name like me.
I'm like, well, first thing, assuming that I'm going to name him after you, it's pretty ballsy, which I did anyways.
I did anyways.
And so, yeah, they were very excited.
And again, it's, it's one of the best phone calls you can make.
(17:51):
It's the engagement, right.
The engagement phone call, we're engaged and you know, photos and all that.
And then obviously the baby is like, yeah, that's so big.
Yeah, that's big.
Yeah.
So at this point, we make the announcements or just in normal, you know, try I'm, I'm still trying to figure out what to feed her to keep her together to keep her eating.
(18:17):
And she starts trying because I think they tell her at the doctor's appointment that that weekend or that week, they tell her, use Pepsod, you know, try Pepsod.
That'll help, you know, try a wedge pillow, which she hadn't tried that.
And this is common, the heartburn and stuff.
(18:37):
A lot of pregnancies.
I think it is pretty common.
Absolutely.
So she starts with the Pepsod.
I guess it's not helping.
And we're in the drive.
We're in the drive through.
I'm like, what do you want to get for dinner?
And she's like, well, we get, we're going to get KFC.
She's like, KFC sounds good to you.
Let's go get KFC.
We're in the drive through KFC.
(18:58):
And she's like, I just wish, you know, the acid reflux, I really don't like it.
And I went, well, what about the Pepsod?
And the Pepsod doesn't work.
And I'm like, well, they just told you to try it.
Like, well, I, I, I took it on, I took it on Thursday and it didn't do anything.
I'm like, well, how many are you supposed to take a day?
(19:19):
Well, you take it twice a day.
You can take it twice or three times a day.
Well, okay.
So how many times did you take it that day?
Well, I took it once.
I'm like, and then, but, but I took it on Friday and it didn't work too.
And I'm like, what, when did you take it on Friday?
Well, I took it, you know, I took it before dinner.
How did you take it?
How many times did you take it that day?
(19:41):
Once.
I took a one.
And I'm like, okay, so let's, let's give it a try.
Right.
Let's try that.
But yeah, it's like, I think it's interesting because in some ways, super scientific, like this is the way you do it.
And in some ways just like, that's not going to work no matter what.
I don't care if I'm doing it wrong.
It's not going to work.
This is not going to work.
(20:02):
And don't, don't, don't tell me.
Right.
Like that's that.
So at this, now I'm just like, okay, I just need to find healthy, you know, helpful suggestions to keep her getting some nutrition.
Right.
Cause otherwise I'm going to be like, okay, you got to have insurance.
And as men, we're walking a fine line now.
Yeah.
We don't want to fight.
(20:22):
We don't want upsetting.
Right.
And the word you say could be upsetting.
Yup.
So we're, we're already walking on eggshells.
No, I'm trying.
Yeah.
I'm trying to be, you know, I'm not trying to be right.
You're not, I'm not joking around.
Right.
You're like, I'm trying to figure things out, trying to try and figure it out.
And I think I'm doing okay.
And then, so we're getting through the weekend and the food things are going okay at that point.
(20:47):
And this is often the case with, with Kelly.
So now it's a few days later.
So we told, told everybody a few days later, and we're now it's on Sunday.
We're on the back and she comes up with basically how she was a little disappointed in the reaction from wow.
(21:10):
The phone calls.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then, and then I'm like, all right, so it's set with her.
So how to, so I'm like, okay, I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to belabor the point or point anything out because I was hoping that was just, maybe this is what they do and everybody's happy.
Why should I start something?
And it was more with the, it was more with her dad, I think the reaction there.
(21:31):
And in that moment, I don't want to make her feel worse.
I'm not going to pile on and be like.
Yeah, you're right.
I felt the same way.
I couldn't believe it.
And I'm like, look, he just redid his wills.
He has other grandchildren.
Maybe he was just thinking, now I got to redo my wills.
You just gave me work.
And she's like, you know, the guy's retired.
I'm like, you know, and she's like, yeah, I guess that could be, I'm like, maybe now he thinks there's no way you're going to leave me.
(21:58):
It could be that too.
I'm like, oh, that's over.
She's stuck with them.
So trying to make light of it, but it's always interesting.
Can I ask this?
Sure.
Did she say anything about his reaction to her siblings, kids when they were born?
Was he over, you know, the moon?
(22:19):
No, I think it was just, you know, like you want to hear, I expected more that you want to hear the excitement, but in his defense, not a super exciting guy.
Like he doesn't get excited.
He's a pretty level headed guy, but you know, I think any, any daughter, they tell their father, they, you know, they want to hear a little excitement and it's not like there was nothing, but I, you know, at that point, I just, I just want her to, I don't want her focused on that.
(22:48):
Right.
I want her to be focused on all the, all the fun stuff.
It's, it's like when you build this, um, this thought in your brain, how it's going to be like, it's like when it's like, oh my God, this party is going to be great.
I imagined this thing happening and this, and then you get to the party and it's like, oh, there's three people here, but you built this up in your head.
So maybe she had like a little built up, like, oh my God, I'm finally pregnant.
(23:12):
Everybody, you know, people have been asking if we're ever having kids, you know, she's building this up.
My parents are going to say this or that and then it doesn't happen.
I'm sure now she's sitting there going, I guess I made it bigger than could very well be that kind of a, that kind of a feeling.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't be surprised by that at all.
I mean, I think it's natural.
You picture that, I think probably even more for, for women than for men.
(23:37):
Right.
Like they, because you said you could even, you could just imagine your mother getting that phone call.
Oh, you, you knew how that was going to be.
Right.
So without a doubt, you know, she would have been, oh my God, it would have been beautiful.
Absolutely.
And so obviously, you know, maybe she built that up in her head and never got it and went, wait a minute.
But again, like you said, you're not going to, you're not going to remind her.
(24:00):
I'm not going to highlight, not going to make it bigger than, yeah, not going to highlight it.
Yeah.
You don't want to, yeah.
You don't want to, you don't want to do that.
So what did you, what, what, what, what would she say about that?
I mean, it was really just, we talked about it.
I, I made the joke about now you, now she won't leave me.
I think that got her to laugh and we were just on because we were, you know, it was a beautiful day.
(24:21):
And I'm like, look, we got a lot to thank for.
We don't want to be thankful for beautiful day.
We're going to sit here and relax.
You don't have acid reflux right now.
Yeah.
And let's, let's not worry about your dad.
Let's enjoy the day.
That's it.
You know, so that was kind of, you know, that was, those were the highlights of week of week 12 and then into week 13 now finally.
(24:43):
So now we're waiting again for the results of the blood test to see is this a boy or a girl.
Yep.
And this time, you know, I'm doing whatever I'm doing during my work day.
And I, and I get the call from Kelly, which is out of ordinary from, from her for work.
And she's like, I was wrong.
(25:05):
And it's a girl.
Wow.
Oh, so what was that?
So when, when did you find out when that it was, yeah, that they were going to be born?
The minute they said, keep pushing.
I see the head.
Oh, you didn't know until they were born.
Absolutely.
Oh, so I had no idea found out and you just chose not to.
(25:26):
Yep.
I had a, I had no idea if it was a female, a male, um, until they said it's a boy.
Oh, that's exciting.
I okay.
So growing up, I've always, I don't know why, but I always felt like I was going to have a daughter.
Right.
Right.
I just, part of me felt like, you know, that I was going to be a father to a daughter.
(25:48):
So when even up to that point, I'm thinking I'm going to have a daughter.
Yep.
Even though my parents are boys and my wife's side, all boys, except her boys were everywhere.
Right.
And cousins, I have more male than female.
I just felt female.
And, uh, the minute that happened, I was like, okay.
I cause in your head, you're thinking I'm going to have a daughter.
(26:11):
I'm going to play, you know, this, there's going to be toys.
You're imagining all those.
You're already imagining this stuff.
And then all of a sudden you're switching over to, Oh, it's a boy.
Oh, okay.
Um, so that's when I found out both kids.
That's it.
That's that's it.
So you just, you wanted to be surprised.
Yep.
We kept the, we kept the colors neutral.
It was like a greenish light green.
So a little girl would make sense.
(26:31):
Nothing.
There was over, you know, male or female, nothing flowery, but you know, just basic.
And then once you knew, then obviously you buy a courting.
My wife did not want to know.
I didn't care.
All I worried about was health.
Yep.
Honestly, for me, the thing in my head, there's this naming convention in my family.
(26:54):
Okay.
Right.
Yep.
So my dad was a Frank for eight generations in his family.
If the father was a Michael, his firstborn son was Frank.
Frank's firstborn son was Michael.
Like my brother, my brother, my uncles and dad, they did all that.
So that, so all the way to my dad.
(27:14):
And then my dad broke the trend in that normally the other, the other son was something other than Michael or Frank, but he named me after him.
So then now the next generation, Mike, my one cousin, John daughters, my brother daughters, my other cousin daughter, no boys.
(27:36):
So the name thing, the tradition is not going to be carried on if I don't have a bowl.
So all along she's saying a boy, I'm like, fantastic.
Okay.
The name game is back.
Yep.
But then we're talking about it.
Kelly has a brother, Michael.
I have a brother, Michael, both my grandparents.
I have a brother.
You have a brother.
It doesn't really matter.
Michael's all over the place.
So then we're like, well, maybe we'll start our own new tradition or whatever.
(27:59):
So now we find that it's a girl again.
I'm don't have to worry about that.
I'm happy that, that everything is, you know, everything's good.
The health is good.
And a little girl.
And then I start thinking with the boy, you're thinking about certain things and doing certain things with the kid.
And my first thought was, I'm going to be mowing my lawn until I die.
(28:21):
I'm not going to put the little girl on the zero turn won't happen.
And then I'm thinking, what are the fun things I'm going to be able to do with, with a little girl?
And immediately I'm like musical theater, all that, like the music stuff.
And sports.
I mean, all that stuff.
Sure.
I wasn't thinking about sports with a boy either.
(28:41):
Frank's not really into it.
Nope.
Like, yeah, honestly, there was, there was one of those, there was, there were multiple times where I said, I thought, I like, I have no, it might have no interest in that.
Not like I fought, I followed formula one.
I've always been into racing, boxing.
Yep.
Absolutely.
But like being out there and playing, playing soccer or playing by like any of that stuff, I would have been like, I'll do it, but I'm not going to pick up this guitar.
(29:10):
Yeah.
I'm like, don't, wouldn't you rather have a Marshall stack?
I was thinking of all these things.
That was more relief there.
The little girl, that's funny.
I can have fun with.
That's exciting.
And it still is.
Yeah.
When I think we'll talk about it a little bit later, we're going to do like the whole lullaby idea with a little, little boy.
It's one thing singing to a little girl.
So very different.
(29:31):
So nice.
So we find out it's a girl in week 13.
And then if you recall earlier in the episode, when I was talking about the normal cycle, again, I thought that all that goes away, it just goes away miraculously.
But then I'm seeing behavior indicative of the same.
(29:54):
So I'm like, Oh no, that that's not gone.
No, no, no.
So it's enhanced.
My, my, my wife is a delightful woman.
She's always, she's very, very pleasant.
She's very sweet.
She's very kind.
So when this happens, it's, it's, it's like, it's so obvious in the beginning.
(30:17):
I was like, okay, like trying to figure out how serious these things were.
But now, so now I'm like, Oh, and I'm just thinking, how stupid are you?
Like in my caveman brain, I'm like, Oh, that's all that ends.
And now we're pregnant.
The shop closes for nine months.
And I'm like, Oh no, it's the monster is here still.
Okay.
I can prepare.
Let me get it back on the calendar.
(30:37):
Yeah.
And, and, and that's it.
So that was in week 13 when I had that, that realization, not trying to get, I guess this whole podcast is personal before the pregnancy and her, uh, was she having changed mood swings when she was on, Oh, just, she would have PMS, but that was, that was it.
(30:58):
Yeah.
Just, just the noise.
I never have.
I've been lucky.
I guess I have no idea when people say my wife is doing this or that it is every, you know, very, it's very different.
It's more that I feel like Kelly is probably tolerating more of my behavior that she normally wouldn't just because she is a sweet, kind person.
(31:21):
Right.
And that, and then, so that just goes away a little bit.
So I will do or say something that probably irritates her all the time.
And she keeps it in and she just keeps it in, which is great for me, but the four or five days for that week, it's like, what is wrong with you?
She's actually normal.
(31:43):
She is more like a normal person in those times and less her delightful accommodating.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Um, so you're getting both now she's pregnant and that hasn't gone away.
Yeah.
So you have the dietary stuff.
You have the acid reflux and you still have the Crimson Panda wrestling.
(32:04):
So week 14 still wrestling with the Crimson Panda, but it's getting better.
And then we start because I've now at this point read the first of three or four books on how to bring the baby home with the dog.
So just to let people know what, what kind of dogs do you have?
So I have two dogs.
So I have a, uh, soft-coated Wheaton Terrier.
(32:26):
So rumple rumple is a great dog, very energetic.
And then when rumple was about five, we got Watson who is a sheep, a doodle and Watson.
We thought because of the weight of the mother and the father, when we talked to the breeder, we thought it was going to be like 65 pounds, bigger dog.
Right.
(32:46):
But as soon as we got him home and took him to the vet, they're like, oh no, he's going to be a hundred pounds.
Like he was going to, he favors the sheep dog.
So he, he ended up, he's about 85.
He's a monster.
He's a big boy.
He's a puppy.
He thinks he's a lapdog.
Yes.
He wants, he wants attention.
(33:07):
They compete for attention and he could read like he's broken a piece, one piece of furniture in our entryway twice.
When I walk into the studio, the house where the studio is, um, we just, it's for the first five minutes.
Oh my God.
My poor sister from Texas.
When she comes to visit, she's only five feet tall and she's just like, Whoa.
(33:29):
Yeah.
With kisses and love.
He's very, he just wants to love on you, but it's intimidating when you're 85, you know, it's an 85 pound dog.
So now they got the idea of what kind of dogs are, is this baby coming home to?
Yes.
And it was interesting is rumple was like 32 pounds.
When we got Watson rumple just went to the vet in the last couple of days for a checkup immediately after we got Watson because there's this dog.
(33:57):
Watson was the same size.
He was like eight weeks old, same size as her at that point.
And then it just started expanding and he plays with her all the time.
So rumple went from like 32 pounds and the vet was like little doughy, like cut back on the food to like 35 pounds, solid muscle.
(34:18):
She's a tank.
And now this last one, she's 39 pounds.
And the doctor's not saying anything about it.
Like she's just sturdy muscle because they're right.
She's trying to, she's trying to dog is very, she's you pet it.
You could, it's not luxurious.
No.
Cause I remember your other dogs.
It was very fluffy.
No, no, no.
Rumpel is, I felt that too.
I was like, Rumpel is tough meat in there.
(34:41):
Yeah.
Rumpel's beefy.
Yes.
And, but she's got to keep up with this dog.
That's gigantic, right?
So there, there was there, they are, they can be challenging and mostly my fault.
I used to have very clear rules.
The dogs didn't get on the bed.
The dogs didn't get on the couch.
None of that stuff.
When Watson came along, Watson is big and goofy, but he's, he is adorable.
(35:04):
And I immediately caved.
Oh my God.
Your, your daughter's going to have everything.
She has no chance of not being spoiled.
Yeah.
I know.
If I, if I, if I roll over for the dog, your daughter's got everything.
You're probably right.
(35:24):
I worry.
I worry about that.
Oh, that's what it would be like.
He would like first, it'd be just the front paws on the couch.
And it was like, so now it's like looking at you.
We literally bought another, we bought a love seat because there was no more room on the couch for me because of the dogs now.
So we haven't even gotten that far yet.
We started now just keeping them off the bed.
Now they didn't sleep with us.
(35:45):
We weren't like crazy people like that.
But when we would go to bed, we both be reading.
The dogs would get be in bed with us and hanging out.
And then as soon as the lights go out, they get up in the bed whenever they wanted.
And so we started in, you know, then in week 14 with prepping them and getting them, that's going to be a huge change for them.
(36:07):
It huge.
It is.
It already run the house.
I mean, you know what I mean?
That we're I'm the next step where we're at now is getting them off the, off the furniture.
Okay.
And it's gone well with the bed.
Rumpel seems to have a harder time with remembering Watson's like, okay, it's too much effort to get up there anyway.
But, okay.
So we're hoping, but there's all kinds of, and when we do the book reviews, the book report, I'll go into all that.
(36:32):
The books were valuable.
It seems crazy.
I wish she hadn't bought four books.
We're having a conversation today.
She's like, you really need to read this book.
I'm like, I would be reading that book if you hadn't bought four books.
I'm like, I only have so much time to do this stuff.
And so we, we start prepping the dogs in week 14 and Kelly starts, she borrows from my sister, a wedge pillow to help with the acid reflux seems to help a little bit.
(36:58):
So that's good.
And then we're headed into week 15 week 15 really is probably the most difficult week from tired difficulty with fine and stuff that she wants to eat being exhausted.
Like she's, she's pretty tired.
(37:19):
And this is when it should be, it should be kind of resolving, right?
Like the first trimester is where most of that is happening.
We're already a couple of weeks out of that.
I'm seriously now growing concerned.
I don't understand how she doesn't eat, like how little she eats in a normal situation.
Right.
But now I'm like, you're feeding to, she's, she's throwing, she's eating and not eating a lot.
(37:41):
And she's having, she's having more, she's throwing up and I'm like, I'm like, okay, we're like, we got to get her to eat stuff.
But you know, I, I'm having some success finding different options and she's finding certain things that are working, but it's rough.
Cause I think at that point starting to wear on her to the point where we went over to my sister's house and the next morning she's like, well, you know, Avi and I were both a little, you know, is she, how is she doing?
(38:08):
Like they just saw she was not her usual delightful self, especially when somebody is one way.
And that's the only way, you know, her never had a kid before.
So you wouldn't even know, like, well, I remember on your first child, right now you're going from, this is the only way I know this woman, which is kind of pleasant and always trying to make somebody happy and feel good.
And now she's, I wouldn't, she's, she isn't the, she isn't the girl that you would say was perky, but always engaging and positive.
(38:37):
And yeah, and she's just, she's exhausted.
I don't remember the last time I had to throw up, but she was throwing up all the time.
It's awful.
Starting toward the end of that week, starting to improve.
And then we kind of had that visit and then we're rolling into week 16.
So now it's a couple of weeks after we're going back to the OBGYN.
(38:58):
So right before that things are a little bit better, but I'm still seeing, she's not eating a whole lot.
So of course, what does the doctor always, you know, you have to sit down, doctor comes in.
So how are things going?
Oh, things are going much better.
She literally says, oh, everything's been going great.
And then she looks at me like he knows I'm lying.
(39:21):
Right.
And I'm like, am I going to rat her out?
Are you going to rat me out?
Yeah.
And I'm like, I just roll my eyes.
And like, so they're talking and they go through everything like a lawyer.
Can I see you in your chambers sidebar sidebar?
So, and then she kind of goes through some of the challenges she's been having and they're reassuring.
And then, but I'm still like, so is her weight on track where it should be?
(39:48):
And I realize as this is coming out of my mouth at this point, I don't think she looks like she's not showing at all.
She doesn't have a little baby bump or anything.
She's tall.
She's thin.
And then there's me.
Okay.
So, and as I'm saying this, I see the look on the, the doctor's face go from interested to what an asshole, because I think somehow she's interpreting my question.
(40:18):
Not that is she gaining enough weight, but is she gaining too much weight?
Oh my God.
And I'm like, and I can see the, like the look is like, oh yeah, she's, she's fine.
So how did you ask that again to her?
I, I think I just said is, so is her weight on track, right?
Is her weight on track?
But how could you like, you can't look at her.
(40:40):
She doesn't even look pregnant.
You would have to be divorced.
She's four months pregnant practically.
And, and, but I could see it.
And the nurse is just like, I get the side eye from the nurse.
That's funny.
So how did you get out of that?
I just was like, okay, good.
But I could definitely see there was that.
(41:01):
I would have been like, I think she's too skinny.
I'm not a jerk.
Listen, buddy.
Like I could just picture it.
Your wife looks fine.
Yeah.
Maybe we should, you want us to weigh you?
Who's pregnant here?
Oh, that's, that's funny.
I'm like, I'm probably never going to ask another question as long as we're going there.
No more weight questions.
(41:22):
We did that.
And then that was it.
Everything's going good and is on track and week 16.
And then we had the upgrade from the wedge pillow to the Pacific body pillow for pregnant people.
Yep.
That it's a longer, it looks like a lowercase F or like a candy cane with, with like a floppy nose in the middle.
(41:49):
So it's like, yes, I've never used, we've never had that.
It works like a charm.
She tries it out.
She loves it.
And stupid.
How do you use, what do you do?
Hug it?
What do you do?
Basically?
Yeah.
Like you, you hug it and then it's got that the, the, the floppy part, you can kind of put wherever she wants to.
So to support or above her belly.
(42:09):
Okay.
Twisted and I just know it doesn't happen.
All I know is it made a difference.
Okay.
She's more comfortable.
Um, and, and yeah, so that was a, that was a big thing.
She, she got the body pillow and then we roll into 17 week 17, the upset stomach stuff starts to resolve.
(42:32):
She's got more energy.
Okay.
She's feeling much better, much more like herself.
You get her on a treadmill, so she loses weight.
I'm like, no more, no more book for you.
Like I'm trying to get her to eat.
It was, that was a funny moment with the doctor.
So we're getting ready to start doing this stuff and I start learning lullabies.
(42:55):
The idea came from, we're watching movies one weekend and Kelly points out this Danny K movie and it's the court jester.
Okay.
And there's a, a really cute song where he's trying to get this baby to sleep and he sings this lullaby and I'm like, Oh, I could do lullabies like it.
And it's a really pretty song.
(43:15):
So I make a note of it.
So now I'm starting to learn on learning songs.
It's fun.
Yeah.
And I'm, I'm enjoying that.
And then one time I'm practicing and Kelly happened to be home.
So she's on the couch.
I'm there and I'm, you know, looking, looking up different things and trying, trying some songs out.
And I had already had the experience without her around some of these songs.
(43:38):
They're all the, you know, they're all touching, pretty songs.
Now I'm thinking that I'm going to sing this to my daughter and I will get choked up singing somebody like I, where I can't, I gotta have to stop.
And I'm thinking, gee, is this a normal reaction?
Like, am I more emotional?
Like then the time I'm that Kelly is there and I'm practicing and I get to one of those points where I would normally start to choke up and I look up and she's full on crying.
(44:11):
Cause you guys are a mess.
She's just crying.
It made me stop.
I'm like, are we more broken than I thought we were?
Like, are we missing all joy, man?
Well, it is, it's the journey you guys went through to get to this point and now it's real.
And you're imagining everything that you've thought about not ever having again.
(44:33):
And now it's in front of you.
Isn't it crazy how it's faceless right now?
It's you haven't touched it.
You haven't, you haven't heard it cried and it's got you already.
You're tearing up even the thought you're imagining a fake face right now.
You don't know how it looks, but you were imagining your daughter or your son, you know, to certain people.
(44:57):
And it's crazy to me how we fall in love before we even touch this human.
And that's what you're experiencing.
You are so much in love with this being, with this idea, with, with this thing that you created with your wife.
When people say it's a miracle, it is the magic part about it.
(45:19):
The faith end of it, the everything goes together.
It makes one emotion.
Right.
And that's what flows out of you.
I think there is part of that.
I also think that we're probably pretty broken too.
Like being objectively thinking back, look, I had a better childhood than lots of people, but there are those, there are those things that you think like, it'll just be a particular line and I'll stop and think about it and start to make connections with childhood stuff and what you wanted, the relationship you wanted, the relationship I wanted with my dad that wasn't there.
(45:56):
And I think Kelly has some of that, some of that too.
And Jen, but I think more generally, I think for her, it it's more, I'm broken and she's hormonal, right?
Like she's pregnant.
You have no reason.
You don't have a human growing in you.
I don't have anything going on.
(46:16):
I should be happy as a clam.
And I'm like playing the song from Dumbo and crying.
She's swinging them.
Do you, do you think, do you think you think your age, you're older and more emotional because I'm crying at everything.
Yeah.
I cry.
I think there is, I do think that as you get older, when the testosterone starts to roll off for me, it was like a fog lifted and you see the world in a different way with more layers.
(46:49):
I do believe that when you're young, you're focused on, it's all things and drive.
And then when that goes away, I think you start to see things and you're, and you're willing to get, and you don't, you don't care about being strong or tough or any of that stuff.
Gone.
Yeah.
That, that, that's gone.
(47:10):
I think that you put it right.
You feel like you can see clearer.
You see, you see life, you see the world in a, in a, in a different light.
I think that, I think that's true.
That's why I mentioned before at your age doing this, you're going to be so much clearer.
Yeah.
Maybe the word that I didn't have back then, your mind's clear and you're going to see things differently than if you were 28 years old having a child.
(47:32):
Right.
I mean, so that's going to help out as well when you're parenting through hard stuff.
There's no doubt.
There are times you encounter things with work and dealing with employees and difficult situations.
15 years ago, 20 years ago, the person would have been in a dumpster.
Right.
Believe him.
I worked with him most of my life.
But now it's almost amusing.
(47:54):
You metabolize things differently.
I am having a lot of fun with the lullaby stuff.
Yeah.
You're doing the lullabies.
So find it.
Yeah.
So I'm, I'm enjoying, and I've continued to enjoy that.
We're going to add that to our podcast.
The fun part when Kelly was around was now I have the context of, I'm singing this to a little girl.
Right.
So I'm finding these fun songs that are romantic songs, like American songbook songs that you can take down and I can sing real low and soft and it'll be, it wouldn't work as a lullaby for a little boy, but it'll work for a little girl.
(48:26):
Let me get to pay.
So you're actually singing to the baby right now playing.
Um, well I'm, and I'm thinking about it and I'm, I'm, I'm playing and Kelly is there, but I'm not like, I don't have a speaker on her belt.
You're not like singing it into the, right.
Into the Eddie Van Halen was playing the guitar.
Three 16.
I would like to, that's a fun, uh, yes, that's right.
(48:50):
No, I have to for Wolfgang.
And look how great he is.
Yes.
He's pretty, he's pretty amazing.
He's amazing.
But he has a different relationship with food too.
He has that relationship.
That's right.
He's got an Italian mother.
He's got the other mother.
So no, I'm not, I'm not singing to the baby, but I'm, I'm picturing that and that, and I'm bringing out these songs and I started to sing them and I'm thinking Kelly's like, you're enjoying doing that.
(49:12):
I'm like, I'm going to make it impossible for this girl to love another man.
My father, like that, that's the goal, right?
I don't want to ruin.
Can you run a company?
Can you play music?
Can you sing?
Can you, it's like the bar's going to be high for some, some kid to come along.
(49:32):
Or so that's good.
Cause I'm going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to be too old.
They're going to be like, yeah, that guy drooling in the corner.
Yeah.
He was pretty sharp.
So I said, then she's like, that shouldn't be your goal.
Okay.
Maybe, maybe Kelly's with you.
Yes.
She'll, she will.
She will keep that stuff in check.
(49:54):
That's funny though.
So we're now we're like week 18.
Now the baby bump is there.
People are noticing it's fun for me.
I'm like, it's exciting.
It's a thing.
Yeah.
That's there.
Got more energy.
Now we're doing, we're doing more stuff because we've got a little orchard on our property.
We've got a couple of apple trees.
(50:14):
So we're picking apples and enjoying that work on some of the home projects started.
So getting the nursery ready.
I've got some stuff I've got to do and we're going to be doing some light electrical and some light construction work, but that's fun.
You're good at that.
Picking things out.
Yeah.
It'll be, it'll be fun.
It'll take, take a little time, but that'll be good.
(50:35):
And then we're into week 19, week 19 is.
What I thought might be a pregnancy thing, but it wasn't.
It was the arrival of Fartzilla.
I heard Kelly toot more in three days than I had in our whole relationship.
(50:56):
I'm like, what is going on?
Like, it's not me.
It's the baby.
I'm excited.
Like, I'm like, finally.
Yes.
You're like me.
Yeah.
That's it.
We're a team now.
You can't yell at me anymore.
Yes, I can.
You're disgusting.
I, I have toots.
This is the baby.
So I thought, wow, this will be fun.
(51:17):
But it went away in a couple of days.
So by week 20, Fartzilla is gone, but then week 20 is the full anatomy scan.
Yes.
So that's a big one.
We go in this practice, big practice.
You go in, they do all the normal stuff.
You go in for the sonogram and they start.
(51:41):
This time, they're looking for everything.
So they're taking measurements.
And these are the length of the femurs and doing, seeing everything that is on track.
Everything's going good, good, good, good, good, good, good.
I'm like, okay, like this is, this is all good news.
And you're getting to see now, I have some of the pictures and you can see like the profile of that's a little girl, like that's a baby's head.
(52:06):
You get the, my favorite one immediately.
The first thing that I really recognized was two feet, like there they are.
I'm like, those are feet.
Yeah.
So that was, that was a lot of fun.
And Kelly is feeling now movement and not really kicks or things, but little flutters and things that are happening.
(52:27):
Now you saw, you saw the feet.
Did you see the hands?
We'd no jazz hands this time.
There was a little kind of like, leave me alone moments.
Like, what are you doing?
Like, this is my, that's my couch.
So, uh, no, but not the hands.
That's where the feet definitely saw that.
And then they're, they're like, oh, there's the spine and they're measuring and there's this and that and looking at the heart and the kidneys and all this stuff and taking all these pictures and their label.
(52:53):
And I'm like, the girl works incredibly fast and you can barely keep up with what they're doing.
And then you go and talk to the doctor, different person.
This time we go through it and everything's good.
Everything's good.
And then they say at the end, well, there is one thing I said, with everything else being good, we're not really concerned about it, but there was a bright spot in her heart, but the functions are all the structure of the heart would look completely normal.
(53:20):
So it could just be a normal artifact of development, calcium or something.
Can't couldn't there just be one where everything's like, everything's good.
You don't have to, I felt that way too.
It seems like they never want to let you go with everything's great.
Cause then they want to cover themselves.
Yeah.
Cause I felt the same way.
(53:40):
I'm like, you're always going home with, well, we did see this and we heard that, but yeah.
And obviously nothing came out of mine.
But I, I don't know if it's something that they just kind of go, you know what?
We saw something.
They'll probably think it's nothing, but I have to say it because it's on the photo.
It's, you know what I mean?
(54:01):
I think in this, this day and age with malpractice and all that stuff, I think they're terrified.
Exactly.
They never want to tell you.
Cause that's why they're told you at the same time, we told you about this thing, but at the same time, the whole function, the functioning, the heart is functioning.
Yeah.
So to make you sleep at night, you're, you're good, but I can't, I have to tell you.
I got to tell you we did.
(54:21):
Exactly.
So hopefully that's all that is.
So we did the anatomy scan, everything good.
I had some travel at right after that.
I had some travel for work.
So we're at 20 weeks.
Yeah.
This will be our next episode.
We'll be real time.
Yeah.
I walked in today.
I didn't know she was here.
Yeah.
And I did get to see the baby bump.
(54:42):
That's right.
You could, even though she still looks like her thin, but if you really look, she's wearing her shirt a little bit more room there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's, she's still, she's within five pounds of where she always is.
Like it's nothing.
But you could tell, you could tell she's a pregnant woman and that's nice.
So you've been through it, but we can always go back and revisit, you know, week nine or week seven or whatever.
(55:05):
But we want, we just wanted to bring you guys up to date.
Yeah.
So the next time we talk, it's going to be happening.
And then we'll be able to hopefully start with our next episode.
Start weaving, weaving in.
I know there's going to be an update for, for a check, please.
We're going to have that.
There'll be at least one book report.
Cause I'm almost finished with book four on how to talk to the dogs.
(55:27):
Yeah.
And then there's a bunch of other stuff coming with that.
Maybe a lullaby.
I know you did an interview with, um, with John, one of our friends.
Yeah.
We're going to probably sneak in there somewhere down the line.
That will happen.
And with this going out week three, the first episode in our timeline that we're recording this, I just went out this morning.
Right.
(55:47):
I'm hoping we get a few listeners and people start emailing us with ideas and thoughts and things to talk about and questions.
We really want that to be a big part of what we do.
And I want to say this about myself and we're not saying that we're professionals, we're doctors, we're medical, our medical terms are going to be off.
(56:09):
This is just our life in what we experienced with our wives being pregnant and us being or me being a father and he will be soon.
It's what's happened to us.
I just want to throw it out there.
We're not pretending that we know everything we don't.
We know we actually know less than not even close in my imagination.
(56:30):
They're thinking this guy has no idea what he's up against.
Right.
Right.
I think we'll get into that.
And that's okay.
Right now we're keeping it very safe.
Like, yeah.
So week 11.
That is one thing that, yeah.
If people come along for the ride on this, they will learn very quickly that I'm very planned, structured, organized person.
(56:54):
I will have very detailed plans on how everything should go.
And it will be very difficult for me as that does not happen.
And I got into life and anything I do is no reading.
There's no books.
There is no, no lists to go by.
It's kind of like, I feel it.
(57:15):
I do it.
It's life.
So that's why I think we're, we're together in this.
He's more like, I'm going to read about it.
I'm going to learn as much.
And then I'm going to still do the situation.
Go.
What the hell am I doing?
Where I just skipped the whole reading part and go, what the hell am I doing?
And figure it out.
One of my, like, it's like my motto.
I say it all the time.
And I think I got it from watching my dad.
(57:36):
My dad was like, before the internet, before any of that, he was one who would figure out how to do stuff.
Yeah.
And, uh, which is great.
It's just great.
It is.
And I always, I will always say like, how hard can it be?
That's like my, how hard are you going to be?
I'll figure it out.
This is the one word of the, the first time the voice in my head said hard.
Yes.
(57:56):
Like this is going to be, this is going to be more difficult than this.
It'll be okay.
You guys, you guys can help me along the way.
Yeah.
No, that's why we want to do this.
Even the stories.
Like I look forward to hearing every person is out there at whatever stage of parenting.
They're at is got a story.
They always say there's no manual to this, right?
Where you can read as much as you want, what your dogs are going to do and what you're how to have a cat now.
(58:21):
And then it happens.
You're like, what the hell is going on?
Literally the book, the dog book I'm reading right now is basically saying all the other stuff that you hear is wrong.
Like literally like everything I read in the first three is like, don't be stupid.
That's not, none of that's going to work.
It's a dog.
Every one of them says, bring home a blanket from the nursery.
(58:41):
And let the dog smell it.
And he's like, sure.
If you want to do that, you can, but it's not going to do anything.
That's why it's always, there's always another opinion.
But are you, are you, um, well, and are you worried about that aspect?
Like bring the baby home?
I'm not, I want to make it, I want to make it as easy for, it would be heartbreaking for me.
Look, if something God forbid went wrong where they weren't getting all like, obviously the dog's got, they got to go, the dog's got to go.
(59:07):
And that would be horrible.
Like I would be heartbroken, but that would be the way it would have to be.
So I don't want that to happen.
And it'll be a, it's going to be a big adjustment.
They might surprise you.
I think they're going to be, honestly, I think they're going to be fine when they, I think they know, I think they do have an instinct for that.
The difficulty is all of that stuff with dogs is about the pack mentality.
(59:31):
Who's the pack leader and who isn't.
And the challenge that we have is being the caring and kind and loving person that my wife is.
Kelly comes in like third or fourth in the pack order.
Like they, they listen to me when I'm not home.
They're on like high alert with every sound, every, the, the train goes by because they don't see her as being the boss.
(59:58):
We have to try to elevate her so that they understand their place.
Because then they relax and that's what you want, but it's worth making the effort.
So it's a smooth transition.
It's something you know you have to.
I want the kid to have a great relationship.
Like I want them to have fun.
But I never had, I didn't ever have a dog.
And it is a different, nothing will ever love you like a dog loves, loves you.
(01:00:22):
You can even say that about the kids because kids will, they will hate you at times.
Dogs are like, I love you all the time.
No matter what.
It's a different experience.
Yeah.
So we'll, we'll see how that goes.
But yeah, next week we'll be, we'll be caught up with my inner.
We will have some of our hopefully we'll have video.
And we're probably, we're, we're two episodes shelf.
(01:00:42):
So we got the first one already dropped.
First one just came out next week.
Yeah.
So this one, this one will be coming out two weeks from today.
Okay.
So, or for you now, you're listening to it right now.
Thank you.
If you stuck with us all the way to the end.
Thank you for spending the time with us again.
We hope you're enjoying it.
Please send us emails.
(01:01:04):
G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
Go to our website.
Check it out.
Like us on Facebook and all that stuff.
We have Instagram, Facebook.
We're on Spotify, Amazon, I heart radio, and then Apple podcast should be coming on.
Hopefully by the time you see this.
(01:01:24):
So the normal, all the normal podcast everywhere.
Social media podcasts I listen to.
So thank you again for spending the time.
Look forward to seeing some of your, your feedback and ideas and comments and stories.
We'll go from there.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
(01:01:46):
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
So you don't miss any of our future adventures while you're at it.
Give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier, vision, whatever you crazy kids are using.
(01:02:06):
Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.
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