February 25, 2025 • 58 mins
Get ready for laughs! 😂 In this episode of The Gray Hair & Daycare Podcast, Frank bravely tests out the "My Breast Friend" nursing pillow! Is it comfy or just plain weird? 🤔 We also discuss baby names, the challenges of cleaning your car before the baby arrives, and the great car seat debate (passenger side or driver’s side?). Plus, find out why Frank needs to build a barn! 🍼 #GrayHairDaycare #ParentingHumor #NewDad #BabyGear #MyBreastFriend #CarSeat #BabyOnTheWay
Chapter Markers:
0:00 - Intro Banter: Cluttered House!
5:00 - I Was Wrong: Hosing Down Story
9:32 - I Was Wrong: Snot Sucker Update
12:08 - Frank Was Right?! Super Bowl Predictions
23:32 - Crash Test Daddy: My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow Review
28:24 - Swearing Substitutes
33:34 - Cleaning the Car
39:59 - Car Seat Install
45:14 - Fetal Non-Stress Test
51:54 - Baby Names
55:05 - Baby Photo Shoot
Links to Products:
My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow: https://www.mybrestfriend.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
We're rapidly running out of space.
(00:02):
There's stuff everywhere.
Yeah, we literally had a conversation this weekend about building a pole barn.
I'm like, I need another like, I need another 4,000 square feet.
Come on.
Don't forget to put a studio in there.
And sadly, what the reaction from my lovely wife was, yeah, you're probably right.
I'm like, did you just, yeah.
(00:25):
I'm like, we already built a 1,200 square foot garage, but I just want you happy.
She just wants me to out of the house.
So I, when I swear, go to the barn.
(00:47):
This is the Gray Hair and Daycare Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ right in that same range.
Your hosts, Frank Sirio and Carlo Russo.
Welcome back.
Here we are.
We're back Frankie.
And it is episode 18.
(01:09):
Wow.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
There you go.
Boom.
Boom.
Something like that.
Yeah, it's 20.
Yeah, it is.
When I saw it, when I was typing things up this morning, I thought, wow, it's 18.
We started in the very beginning of November.
We started with one.
We started at one.
We did.
In fact, what was the date?
(01:31):
You think?
I think we recorded the first one, October 29th.
Wow.
Like right at the end of it, right around Halloween time.
And yeah, it has flown by.
A lot of things have happened.
Yes.
In that little stretch of time.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was gone.
Yeah, it feels almost, in some ways it feels longer.
It does.
But here we are, episode 18.
(01:51):
As always, I am Frank Sirio.
I am 55 years old and my wife is 35 weeks pregnant.
35.
So close.
So close.
We are right there.
And we finally have a recognizable and new produce reference for the size of little baby Josie.
(02:12):
And it is a head of romaine lettuce.
Romaine lettuce.
Romaine.
Romaine.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a long.
That's the long.
Yeah.
Long and skinny.
So head of romaine lettuce.
She at 35 weeks is gaining now about an ounce a day.
Nice.
(02:32):
So even more.
It was about a half pound a week.
Now it's even like, I guess it's about the same.
An ounce a day.
She is.
So the baby at that, at this stage for a while now has had a little hair.
Looks like a little monkey everywhere.
Yeah.
Although the body, right?
That's going away.
So.
She's already balding.
She's already losing that.
And getting rid of the waxy substance that is, covers the skin that is called, and I had to look up how to pronounce this, vernix quesosa.
(03:03):
Oh, I love that with little chips.
When I saw it, I thought it was, I was pronouncing it like it was a Harry Potter spell.
Vernix quesosa.
Vernix quesosa.
I'm pronouncing it like we're going to a Mexican restaurant.
Yeah.
Vernix quesosa, I guess is the way it's pronounced.
Okay.
So that's working off.
Do you think that equals, you said that she's, that's leaving the body?
Yeah.
So, you know, when, when sometimes when they're preemies, they look a little waxy.
(03:26):
Sure.
That's coming off now.
So do you think it has something to do with that leaving the body and then the hair falling has, has something to do with each other?
Because it's not there to.
Sure.
I mean, I'm not sure.
I just happy that that's starting because when you see the kid, you know, when, and they've got, I like, I like it.
If that's gone by the time we meet, I would like to have a nice dress on and possibly a little, a little hairdo.
(03:53):
Do you know how you were when you were born or when Kelly was born, if you guys had hair as babies, if you had a hairdo, I don't know about, I want to say that Kelly did.
I don't know if I did.
I don't think, I don't think so, but I'm not sure.
I mean, sometimes you will have to do and then it falls right out because the pictures of me when I was little, there was not a lot going on up there.
(04:18):
Yeah.
So I'm not positive.
Well, you got it now.
That's right.
I'm going to try to keep it as long as I can.
That's right.
Yeah.
So that's where we are.
We're getting real close.
It's only a few weeks away.
It's still no hard date.
We'll talk a little bit more about some of the doctor updates.
No, they're just giving you a little.
Every week they're checking us, checking out, making sure things are headed in the right direction.
(04:42):
And, and they just set an appointment now for the week that we thought we were going to be induced in week 39.
So we'll see.
I think it's one of those things that if you're going to be induced, which is what they have kept telling us, the way with the hospital and the availability and the way it works, I think they want to get close because they want to schedule you so that if they have surprised people who are not being induced, that they've got room for them on the floor and all that stuff.
(05:13):
I think we'll get more clarity next week as we go through, but we'll talk more about, we'll talk more about that stuff later on.
But right now, what we haven't, I don't know if we had one of these last time, but we have one this time and we often do, we'll move on to, I was wrong.
I was wrong, but I was wrong.
(05:36):
We'll get to that.
Oh no, we've got one for you.
I still got love out there.
So if you'll recall one of the things that we talked about, I think two episodes ago.
So that would be 16.
Okay.
Maybe was one of the methods that you described during childbirth with Trina.
(05:57):
Oh God, don't please, let's not bring that back up.
That's the one.
So I was, I was notified, I was notified.
I've heard on previous episodes that Trina listens on her way back and forth to work and at other times, as soon as she gets home, she will intervene, which would lead us to that actually is related to my, I was wrong, but anyhow, so she texted me immediately on release day for that episode.
(06:28):
And she said the, her, I was wrong was they did not say, quote, boldface hose down your wife when you were trying to do some, but she did say the point was that the warm water in that instance was to help relax, relax, relieve the pressure on the lower back.
(06:53):
And she said it worked like a charm because you only had to do it for five minutes.
And immediately after she had been, she was at 10 centimeters and ready to go.
So valuable, but was the question, the terminology, I can't believe you said hosed me down.
I said, well, I gotta come up with a little comedy at this whole, you know, well, you're not a comedy podcast.
(07:16):
Well, you know, I don't know.
I think we might be, I think we're turning into that.
We might be.
So there was, there was that now mine was a little more serious.
I feel bad about this.
And I, I was told that I did not have to do this.
I was wrong, but I feel compelled to.
Okay.
So one of the things that Trina came running home about was the OG Prita baby snot sucker thing that you are not going to be crash test daddy for that device.
(07:46):
Cause that was suggested by my niece Marie.
Sure.
And then, you know, so we talked about that, but later on when I was on vacation, one episode, maybe a couple of episodes ago, I think I mentioned that while Marie had recommended it and told me that it was a great product and that we should test it, that my brother's wife, Jane, while we were on vacation informed me that Marie in fact had not used it.
(08:16):
Right.
And that it was used by her husband, Marie's husband.
Correct.
And this was not correct.
I feel like I have been, I have been led astray.
I have been bamboozled by Jane, which I'm deeply, deeply disappointed, which I could say this right into the camera knowing she'll never hear it cause she doesn't listen to the podcast or watch.
And my brother probably won't either.
(08:38):
And right now they're all in the UK, which my brother would have to pay for a data plan.
Never happened.
So, but yeah, Jane made characterize it.
Now it was a quick conversation in her defense, but Marie absolutely did use it the first time she made her husband do it, but she, she used it many, many times to great effect.
(09:02):
And she was a little upset with me for a while for impugning her character and saying that maybe she had led, let us down a premise.
And I, I am you, you didn't do it.
I mean, you just reacted, you reacted to my right.
Whatever you say, we have to own our own.
You own your rungs.
I own my, so Marie, I apologize.
(09:24):
You were, I believe I was, I was led astray by Jane.
I'll, I will deal with that at some point.
I was wrong.
Sorry, Jane.
I made this all by myself.
She is busy in the middle of just moved into a new place.
Jane is.
Yeah.
(09:44):
Yeah.
And my brother is there.
My, my brother hates being in, in the UK.
He hates being in the UK.
Gotcha.
He's gotten he's lived in Tennessee for a very long time.
He's used to sun.
He's used to, you know, fairly nice weather.
Rain does not.
And it's all, he just, he complains about everything.
So she's busy trying to decorate her new place.
(10:06):
And he's probably busy annoying her.
He marries an English woman that has a house still in England.
You're probably gonna have to go there once in a while.
Yep.
Yep.
No, that's what's amusing is he actually has a spreadsheet.
Really runs in the family.
Really?
Not only does he track every trip he's gone on and where he's been and all that stuff, but he tracks how much time they spend as a couple in Tennessee, in the UK and traveling.
(10:35):
And he tries to make sure he's getting everything.
The lion's share of, Oh no, not equal.
He gets more time in Tennessee than, than there.
So, uh, but she's, uh, somehow able to deal with it, work, deal with that.
And that's okay.
She's just giving you wrong information.
She's just, yep.
Setting me up to hurt my niece's feelings.
(10:57):
Beautiful.
That was nice of you.
That was, that has sucked out much, so much.
It's not that we're here.
She is a legitimate tested recommendation.
And is it her daughter or son?
Does she have a daughter?
She has daughter.
Dot.
Yep.
And we, we, we said nothing.
We said she did nothing.
Yeah, that wasn't right.
Now we know.
(11:18):
I'm still not doing it.
I will be divorced.
I will be divorced.
That's it.
The hose down.
She can live with everything else.
This sucking of the, yes.
That's the line.
It's okay.
So there, there is, I was wrong.
And now I still haven't developed the slide yet, but I hopefully when I say this one that will make you laugh and everyone will enjoy will appear.
(11:43):
We're going to move on to the second time we've done this Frank around and find out for us.
The super bowl was just two days ago.
Yep.
And I was just thinking about number one.
So obviously there's no spoilers now because it's a couple of weeks in.
So number one, Kansas city, like I didn't watch, I don't care about football.
(12:08):
Who did they play last?
Who did they play?
San Francisco.
Yep.
Okay.
So last year you're watching them beat San Francisco.
If someone came along and said to you, you know what a year from now, Kansas city is going to get the, just crushed by the Eagles.
(12:30):
They're going to get crushed by the Eagles.
And in the stands, there's going to be Donald Trump.
Why would he be in a stand?
He is the president of the United States.
And when the camera lands on him at the super bowl, he will get a standing ovation from almost the entire crowd.
Yeah.
Right.
And then the camera turns to Taylor Swift and booze erupt throughout the crowd for Taylor booze.
(12:59):
That would never happen.
You can see her mouth.
What's happening?
Like she was terrified.
Like what's going on?
People are booing me.
Well, what do you have believed?
That's crazy, Frank, because first of all, Kansas city getting beat down.
I mean, realistically, they're probably going to play the Eagles.
I agree.
But beat down, like, like they're not even there.
(13:22):
That's stupid.
That's not going to happen.
And then Trump, you're talking Trump as the president of the United States again, after whatever we've been through with Trump, he would never become the president again.
And then on top of that, let's say somehow he finally became the 47th president again, they would be cheering him.
(13:45):
You are ridiculous.
And T swizzle, twizzle tea, whatever they call her boot.
Everybody loves her.
Everybody loves her.
How it is.
It is astonishing.
What has happened?
So what happened to the present in this, in this country?
I was like, I was just seeing everything the next day.
I'm looking, I'm looking on X and there's the video, the video of her when the booze erupt and she had no idea, side eyes, her friend, and you can see her say, what's going on?
(14:14):
Who, who are they hated?
That's embarrassing.
Oh, me.
It was Brad Cooper that much.
It was amazing to watch.
And then seeing it, like just the idea that so much has happened in the few weeks that he's been president.
And it seems like, do you, this is the question I have is you can already see with the things that are happening, the usual suspects are digging in and getting entrenched and they seem to be trying to gin up the, the resistance, right?
(14:46):
We're going to take it in the streets and we're going to burn the place down, but nobody's doing that.
Right.
They're just, they're just screaming, screaming in an empty room.
This is an assault on democracy.
And I, every time they do that, I want to say, no, no bureaucracy, bureaucracy, but it's just amazing that they're, they're doing their thing, but it just seems like all of a sudden the country woke up from a, like a nightmare of, of this liberal, ridiculous nonsense.
(15:21):
And it's not even, it's not, we've talked about it.
It's our forefathers.
You know, so when we say this, it's not like, Oh, here they go.
The right way.
No, because this is nothing like what we're used to having the Democrats of the past.
It's just not, I think that's how you end up with Musk actually like a year and a half ago, illustrated it really well.
(15:43):
He was talking about, look, I was a left of center, right?
Democrat.
My views didn't move the scale move.
Absolutely.
Right.
The, the, the scale moved underneath people.
So normal conservatives became right-wing extremists.
(16:05):
People were in the middle became conservative and, and he like guys like Bill Maher, right.
They start to all of a sudden, Oh, he's changed.
No, he's the same guy.
He's kind of what we remember as a traditional moderate Democrat, right.
Or maybe a little bit ask questions of your government.
(16:26):
That's that, you know what I mean?
I'm both sides.
What fascist in history wanted to cut spending.
I know it's so ridiculous, but, but getting back to the, getting back to the prediction, the year of the Superbowl prediction, I'm not surprised at the Boeing.
I mean, she's like the Kansas city, right?
(16:47):
So let's boo on that because they also booed John Hamm.
Yeah.
Oh really?
Yeah.
They, which come on, John Hamm.
He's great because he's a Kansas city fan.
It was in new Orleans.
So was it like a Phillies or Eagles dominated?
It had to be because the crowd was louder.
Right.
So I'm assuming it was dominated one side more than the other.
And I'm going to say the Eagle side one.
(17:08):
And then on top of that, I think people are just sick of her, right?
Just the whole, the whole crew, the whole thing with her, her and Blake Lively being buddies and all this stuff with her.
So I think that puts on top of them.
The most I'm surprised is the crowd cheered.
(17:28):
This is a Superbowl.
We're not talking about the Republican.
It's not the RNC.
We're talking about the Superbowl where he should have got, he would have got a lot of booze when he was the 45th president.
Right.
And it was, it was like, I remember when the UFC, remember when he first won and you could say, okay, that's the UFC.
It's very pro.
(17:49):
Okay.
I got it.
That's why I'm saying this is a Superbowl.
It's not the UFC.
Yeah.
You're in new Orleans.
New Orleans.
Right.
And the crowd, it was deafening when they showed his face.
Yeah.
One of the things I think they always, people used to say, conservative, a lot of conservatives would say politics is downstream of social, you know, social issues.
(18:10):
But I think with the liberals and Democrats have done for a long time is they've done it the other way, right?
They have used politics to drive social issues.
Right.
What really, I think a lot of people it's true.
We're mistaken is it's really a cycle, right?
Like politics drives the social stuff and the social stuff drives politics.
(18:31):
And that's what happened was the Democrats used politics to drive this social engineering stuff so far that it impacted the social stuff and the country pushed back and was like, no, you're going to always have that tipping point, right?
You're going to.
And now I think it's like, we're at a point where like, stop, we're not buying, we're not buying that product anymore.
(18:53):
I used to say that all the time that it was like, people would always say, well, it's a, it's a pendulum, right?
It swings one way and it swings the other.
But for a long time, for the last 15, 20 years, it's not a pendulum.
I have felt like it's not a pendulum.
It's a ratchet, right?
It swings one way, but it doesn't go back all the way.
Right.
It's, it goes and then it swings again.
(19:15):
So it's moving in one direction.
You're not getting a full back and forth.
You're not getting back and forth.
All of a sudden, somebody went, nope, and it came back.
And I hope it's something that ultimately is good.
Hopefully when things like this happen, things get fixed.
Hopefully it gets fixed on both ends.
Yeah.
Right.
There should be good things that come from it.
Let's reset.
Yeah.
Let's reset because obviously as they always say, the people have spoken.
(19:38):
So there's a problem.
I was always confused because I travel all over the East coast, Midwest.
Yeah.
And you know, the Midwest there, that's America right there.
And I've always confused.
Like if you just listen to social media, everybody hates this particular person or situation.
And then I go travel and I see the same concerns, the same wants, the same needs, the same safety problems that everybody's saying.
(20:09):
And I'm sitting there going, wait a minute.
I talked to a lot of people and we all kind of have the same fears and wants and needs.
But if you listen to the social media or certain channels, you are, you are led down a street that does not look familiar at all.
If you go out there in the real world, very different.
(20:30):
We live in, we're surrounded by farms and stuff like that.
And when you drive around here and you look at these little towns, they're like they were 50 years ago.
They really are.
These are not crazy people.
The same people that have been around with, you know, going to their work and schools and churches and you know, it's still, that's what we are.
(20:53):
That community, those lives have not changed as much over the place.
And it's like that everywhere.
Now you go to these cities.
Yeah.
Cause we traveled to New York all the time.
We go to Chicago, we go to Detroit, we go to all these cities that they think they have it fixed and their cities are screwed up.
(21:15):
Yeah.
It's rough.
Right there.
It's rough.
Yeah.
So, and the people in those cities are going, what's going on?
Right.
Who's voting these people in because I live here and it's not us.
Right.
Somebody's doing it.
But that is, that was Frank around find out.
And now we've got a, I have a little surprise.
This is a surprise.
So we're going to move on to crash test.
(21:38):
Daddy, what is the surprise drink?
So I told Carlo when I put together our cradle wise cradle, I did a, I shot the whole thing as I put it together and I'm going to do a little time-lapse so you can see it.
And it was pretty easy to put together cradle wise was in it for like, I think it's a great product.
It's, it's well-made, nicely packaged, went together very easily.
(22:01):
Now you are very handy, but you don't have, you're saying I could do it.
Yes.
Very simple.
One, you need a Phillips head screwdriver and an Allen key and they were included and you put it to literally it's one USB cable.
You got to plug in for a lot.
It was, it was quick, like an hour and hour and a half plus, plus, plus.
(22:22):
Yes.
For the product.
It took me more time to break down all the packing, the boxes and stuff, then, then put it together and got it set up.
The app was easy to install everything.
I did have to, I did have to re, I had to go through the setup one, one extra time, but it was good and it's an easy, but that's not really what we're going to do because I want it to surprise you.
(22:45):
So I'm going to hand you what I would like you to, to crash test today.
And then, so as I, when I return, you'll, you'll see it.
So I'm going to go grab it and bring it over for you.
Awesome.
I love this.
Is it a puppy?
Oh, the baby's back.
Okay.
So as you can see, what you can see, what Carlo has in front of him now is the, my breast friends, super deluxe 25th anniversary nursing pillow.
(23:22):
And I thought it would be fun for you to try it out and see, see how it works.
It's very, very well reviewed.
Okay.
And so, so as you can see, I have this, I've never seen it before.
He just handed to me.
I have baby Josie, the fake one, of course, in her swimming cap.
(23:42):
Yes.
I'm just going to move this.
Can I take a look at what you go right ahead?
Slide that out of the way.
I'll narrate as you go.
You want me to hold baby Josie?
Cause you're going to need to figure this out by the head.
Great.
There we go.
And it's called the what it's called.
It's called, I love this.
It is the, my breast friend, B R E S T my breast friend, super deluxe 25th anniversary edition nursing pillow.
(24:09):
So I'm going to assume that I'm going to put this around me.
Yep.
Probably won't fit, but I can make it bigger.
Now this is what I didn't figure out immediately, but I'm going to give you the clue that that thing that you had your hand on, you can tear it off.
Oh, that's that's no, no, no.
This over here, the little clippy that comes right off.
(24:31):
It's Velcro.
So you can make it bigger.
Cause I tried to put it on.
I couldn't get it around my arm.
So it's supposed to go around your waist.
So I'm going to assume that this is going to go around my waist, which it is right here.
I'm then going to take my breast friends and put them out.
Yep.
You got to clip it in.
You got to give it a full turn.
Come on.
We have to give it a proper, we got to give it a proper test.
(24:54):
That's what I would do if I were you.
Cause it's not, it's going to be snug.
There you go.
Okay.
Yeah, that's not so bad.
Yeah.
Look at that.
You got some stuff.
Yeah.
So now I'm going to, so I think you want, you want it more down on your, more toward your waist, a little bit lower.
How big do you think my friends are?
(25:16):
That's true.
And now, and then there you go.
You got the baby.
Yes.
So now, and that's it.
Now you'll notice there's a little bump.
If you put your hand on the surface, there's a little bump.
So it cradles the baby and, and allows them to be like right position correctly.
And that, that is it.
So, and you can then now you can then lean back and it kind of stays, see nice and easy.
(25:43):
So, and then by your left hand, there's a little pocket for other accessories, cigarettes and cheese sticks, whatever, you know, whatever you got in there.
This is back in the sixties and seventies.
Yeah.
There was none of the, is it uncomfortable?
Not at all.
And the back is great.
(26:04):
Okay.
It's, it's so good.
I might remove the baby and put a drink into maybe some chips.
Now I have a little table.
There you go.
You could, we could do that as well, but this is supposed to be the Cadillac of, of breastfeeding pillows.
It makes sense.
I just love that.
When I saw the name, it's really called the My Breast Friend.
(26:27):
My Breast Friend.
When you told me that with Velcro, that works a lot of room.
I might be able to get it out even.
I can still go a lot further.
So it can fit a lot of people.
Yeah.
The baby has a comfortable bedding table here.
Nice and soft.
(26:47):
Material is nice and soft.
Yeah.
And it's, you can zip it off and it's washable.
You're going to not on both sides.
You have that bump.
Yep.
Yep.
It can go either way.
There you go.
So here we go.
Nipples up.
There you go.
(27:07):
There it is.
That's our crash test.
Daddy, the My Breast Friend super deluxe 25th anniversary.
They've been making these forever since 1999.
Yeah.
That is it for crash test daddy.
And we will be right back.
Okay.
(27:30):
We are back.
And Carlo just made an excellent point.
For those of you who are listening and not watching, you are missing out because it is fantastic.
I enjoy watching it and the viewers do usually respond to our crash test daddy segments, but this is another one that's just, you get a, it's a whole, it adds a new dimension.
(27:52):
New dimension.
We had the ones with the rubber ducky.
That's pretty fun.
We had the one that I had to strap the baby to my chest.
Yep.
That was a while back.
Yeah.
So YouTube.
Yeah.
Thank you for listening.
And I love listening to it because you're in a car, you're taking long drives.
But when you're at home and you want to see this silliness, there's nothing like watching a grown man with My Breast Friend.
(28:19):
It's just fantastic.
I don't mean, I don't mean Frank.
I mean My Breast Friend.
That's it.
That's quality branding right there.
My Breast Friend.
My Breast Friend.
So, so we are back.
That was crash test daddy.
And now we will move into what just happened.
(28:40):
So we had a few, few interesting things.
Some of them kind of just like preparation, getting ready because it's getting closer and closer.
We're at that point now where it could kind of happen anytime.
But so the, the, the first thing early on in the week, Kelly and I were talking and we try very hard.
(29:01):
I think I may have, I may have used an expletive on the podcast once.
I, we try very hard not to.
Yes.
And, but in our normal lives and I don't know, in our, in our regular lives, you, I don't know.
I don't think you do.
Not as much as me.
(29:22):
I swear a lot.
Mostly because I'm alone a lot.
Right.
So it's me and the dog.
So, but yeah.
So if I get like a lot of times, like, that's what I remember.
My parents never, no.
One time in my whole life, I heard my father use the F word one time.
(29:43):
And he was literally, he had put a nail through his hand.
Like he literally, I heard F bomb and I looked and it was like, it was through he didn't yell after he nailed him.
So he didn't yell at Jesus Christ.
No, no, no.
(30:03):
And then, uh, pull it out.
But that was the only time like they did not swear.
When I think of your father, I think of a man with very strong hands.
Am I wrong?
He had big hands.
Yeah.
Well, they like, just like, you could tell he wasn't an accountant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Every time I think of your dad, I always think of this.
Yeah.
(30:24):
Yeah.
Over there.
But, but yeah, so they didn't swear, but I do, I have to admit, and I think it's sometimes concerning for Kelly.
Not, not that it, not, not, not that it has ever bothered her.
And I certainly never, I'm trying to remember you swearing a lot.
It's mostly she's around when I'm doing projects and I get frustrated or stuff, things like that.
(30:45):
Most of my swearing is like directed at like inanimate objects.
But now I think it's, it's a heightened concern in the context of we're going to have a little girl runner.
Oh my God.
And her suggestion was, and I don't know how exactly she brought it up, but she brought up the good place.
So great show, Kristen Bell and Ted Danson, and they weren't allowed to swear in the good place.
(31:11):
So it would automatically, so she'd try to say the F word and it would come out, whatever it was.
Fork.
Yeah.
What the fork?
So Kelly's like, we need to come up with our own set that we're going to use.
And I, I'm always, I'm always entertained when, when my wife says we, because it's mostly when she says we need to do something, it's not her and the mouse in her pocket.
(31:37):
It's me.
Right.
And she's like, we need to come up with our own good place substitutions for this.
Cause she never like, yeah, I don't see that ever.
Like that doesn't happen.
So I'm going to have to come up with some go-to substitute expletives.
And I thought we could, this could be another viewer participation item.
(32:02):
And I would imagine that's gotta be a challenge for an average parent.
Do you remember when you were like, when your kids were little and ready to repeat things?
Right.
So you have to, you have a, you have a timeframe that you can still talk.
I got a little, I got some runway.
You got some, you know, some room, but yes, you do have to keep that in mind because they will repeat and they will repeat it at the oddest places at church, church, out to dinner, talking to the waitress or the service staff.
(32:32):
So I don't remember a particular thing that happened, but we did have to be careful because I know it happened.
My, my key word would be not the F word, but the, um, saying the S word.
Cause I, I, I say that a lot.
Yeah.
So that, you know, if the shaving cream or, you know, maybe, uh, yeah.
(32:54):
Got to come up with a good one for that.
But I'm going to tell you right now, you're going to fail a lot of times to make it a normal thing, not to keep doing it.
You're going to say the word and go, Oh my God.
And you're going to do it.
It's going to happen until it becomes a habit that you're not doing it.
So you're going to, it's going to leak out there.
(33:14):
And that one time is when baby Josie picks it up.
So you're going to, you're walking around going, Hey, shaving cream.
And she's walking around going.
Right.
I do think of that.
I think with a little boy, I think of that and I think, well, yeah, you don't want your little girl walking around.
It'd be kind of funny if a little girl would be like, Oh yeah.
(33:35):
Yeah.
I'll feel great.
So what word are you worried?
What word generally will come out of your face?
What's a bad one.
Yeah.
I, I have a pretty, I have a pretty wide menu of things, but I think as long as you stay away from the F word.
Yeah.
I think the son of a, that one, that one, I throw around and then the, yeah, the mother F or one, two, I throw out there.
(34:04):
Yeah.
So I'm going to, I need some work.
I'm going to have to try to clean that up.
I never had daughters.
So mine was more of like the, you know, I said it, but it's like, Hey, don't say that around your mother.
Son of a B.
I never, that never comes out of my mouth.
Sometimes people, when they say, I even hate saying it now, but like when somebody says bastard, yeah, that's ugly.
(34:28):
Yeah.
That is something that I will, that's ugly.
That's a, that, that I think I break out mostly during DIY projects because I think if it's something that won't fit.
Right.
Right.
But other than that, I think if you can keep her away from, you know, I'm going to try the main ones, the big ones, but it's funny.
We should have like a good place fork.
(34:49):
Yeah, I could do that.
If I can make a game out of it and make it funny, that will help because I think it, I think that'll make it easier for me to get my head around and get better at it.
You know what is, I just thought about when I'm on stage, I swear like a sailor.
See, right.
But that's more of a character.
(35:10):
It's a character.
Right.
That's not you.
When I do live radio TV, I don't even think about it.
Am I going to swear?
It doesn't even, you don't have to worry about it.
I don't even think about it.
But the minute I'm on stage and I do my, whatever I'm doing at the time, that character is known to be, you know, to swear.
And it's funny how you can shut that off.
(35:30):
If I shut it right off on my normal.
Yeah.
I mean, I swear.
Don't get me wrong.
I swear.
You're on stage working with somebody who could make the Pope swear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I, I mean, I do swear and I probably swore a little bit more now because I have a 23 year old and a 18 year old, so I'm not really worried about what they hear.
(35:52):
Yeah.
But it is, I'll tell you, I remember hearing what the kids are saying when they're playing the games.
Me and Gina would walk by the room and go, what, what, what just came out of that room?
And we would walk out, we would walk in there going, um, hello, you're 13.
What the heck are you doing?
And they're like, Ooh, cause they don't, they realize, Oh yeah, I don't talk like this at home.
(36:16):
They get on that.
It's like the stage thing.
Yeah.
They get on that game.
They turn into that character.
It's a different arena.
Yeah.
So that's going to be a funny thing too.
When you hear your children swear.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yup.
That'll be different.
That'd be different.
But the more, the more that you can avoid around the house obviously is going to set her up.
I think you're good.
(36:37):
Yeah.
We'll be okay.
You just have to go outside and just, you know, swear and come back in the house.
I can whisper it to the dogs.
Come here, send this to you.
So, so there's that came up, which I thought was kind of funny.
One thing that I did get done, Kelly's brother and his wife very generously gave us this car seat at the one, the shower in Buffalo.
(36:59):
Very important.
And this is a cool one because it's not just, it's basically like a carrier.
It has the handle and it has a base that stays in the car.
And then just go click, click.
That's the best.
That's the way to do it.
But we have had one of those slings in the back seat.
So the dogs don't destroy the, don't destroy the, the upholstery.
(37:21):
And it was a little dirty.
And I hadn't, I hadn't done a good cleaning of the inside of my car for a while.
So I thought, you know what?
I'm not going to mess around with it.
I cleaned everything out.
And then Sunday after church, we got our groceries and then I dropped the car off for Delta Sonic to have them do it.
And it was like, not a sponsor yet.
Come back, not a sponsor.
Yeah.
I would love it.
They come back and like, they come back in four hours.
(37:44):
I'm like, okay.
So they do the handwash, they do the interior and it was pretty bad, right?
Like, so every year I think we've talked about it where at Christmas time, we'll go and buy a bald tree, little tree, and we'll have it out in the backyard where we can see it with the lights on it.
And then we plant it.
So that thing in the burlap, I shove it into the back of my SUV.
(38:09):
So there's pine needles.
It was really messy.
They did a fantastic job, everything all clean.
They did a really good job.
I was very happy.
Like honestly, like the car, I was like, this is better than when I got it.
Yeah.
It was fantastic.
Got it home, figured out the latch system.
So you don't have to use the seatbelts.
(38:29):
It blocks right in.
Got that in and installed.
Nice and tight, right?
It's nice and snug.
Even has a little level bubble.
So you get it all set.
So we got that ready to go.
And then I have to figure out where does the thing live all the time when the baby, yeah.
So we're going to have to come up with something for that, but got that in.
What do you mean where does it live?
(38:49):
In the house somewhere?
I like things to have a place.
Where?
Where is it going to go?
It could go in the mudroom where we have that stuff.
Yeah.
But we're like, we're rapidly running out of space.
There's stuff everywhere.
Good thing you have acres back there.
Yeah.
I literally had a conversation this weekend about building a pole barn.
I'm like, I need another like, I need another 4,000 square feet.
(39:13):
Just solid.
Come on.
Don't forget to put a studio in there.
And sadly, the reaction from my lovely wife was, yeah, you're probably right.
I'm like, did you just like, I'm like, we already built a 1200 square foot garage.
She just wants you happy.
She just wants me to out of the house.
So when I swear, go to the barn.
(39:35):
That'll be it.
But it's a great, it's a great thing.
You latch on off, makes it easy.
Super easy, right?
Rather than, especially with a little kid.
And the way it's set up too, it is expandable.
So it goes from the baby thing.
Then you flip the handle back and then it expands all the way up to, I think, I don't know, like 30, I don't know, like 20 pounds or something like that with pounds.
(39:56):
So we'll do a, we'll do a crash test.
I told you about, I told you about a triple A.
You bring it there and they will check out officers there.
Make sure it's good.
Yeah.
We'll go down that route.
We'll bring a video.
We'll do, we'll do a test.
It'll be a while from now, but yeah, so it won't be long.
Usually when they change the weight, you want to make sure, make sure everything's.
(40:16):
And then I think, cause they're facing the opposite way.
Yeah.
Rear facing in the back seat.
And then we got to figure out, we got this mirror thing, but we got to figure out, I was trying to figure out if it's better to have the kid behind the driver so you can see in the mirror or behind the passenger.
So you can look inside.
I'm going to say, I remember this because I would do the driving.
(40:39):
So if mom was on the passenger, she would have the baby so she can.
On behind you.
Behind me.
Yeah.
I think.
We're going to have to experiment.
Carla was wrong.
Trina's like, no, no, no.
That's one thing that this car doesn't have.
The last SUV we had, it had a sunglass case in the center on the ceiling, but if you brought it down halfway, it had a, like a bus mirror so you could see the back seat.
(41:06):
Gotcha.
And we don't have that on this vehicle, but.
I had my first child.
My car was a 35th anniversary Mustang.
My white Mustang.
It was the coolest baby.
That's it.
Not ideal for two door.
Always struggling to get that, you know, think about it.
(41:27):
You have to get that.
Yeah, that's right.
Cause you had to do that.
Yeah.
That's one of the things we're looking at.
We're looking at going from like, right now we have three vehicles.
So we have an SUV that I've usually drive.
There's a sedan that Kelly drives and then I have a Jeep Wrangler that I plow the driveway with and we're going to go down to just two.
(41:47):
So I'm going to, we're going to get rid of the sedan and the Jeep and get a pickup truck, but I want to get a pickup truck with like a, with a crew cab so I don't have to do the whole.
I remember when it was a baby, baby, when we dealt more with the, with the stroller and all that, I had my knee on four door.
Okay.
Accident.
I said, screw it.
Let's get the Mustang.
(42:09):
Struggled a little bit, but by the time Nick came around, that's when I had my PT cruiser.
Okay.
Yep.
Yeah.
And that's a little, it makes it easier getting it out.
Then SUVs and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
Now the challenge with this will be with the baby in there, the dogs are no longer going to fit in the back seat.
So we're going to have to train the dogs to be in like the cargo area, but we'll probably be rumple the littler one in the back seat and the bigger one Watson will be in the way back.
(42:35):
So you did that, you got that ready, the car ready.
We're ready.
And then, so that was all done.
And then we had another doctor's appointment and this was neat.
So this was a new thing that we haven't had yet.
And I think I mentioned it in a previous episode, they did a fetal non stress test.
Oh, so, so basically what this does is this is looking to see that everything is going good with the baby and the way they do it.
(43:01):
They bring into this little room.
We got, I get to go in with her and they put two sensors on her belly.
So Kelly gets in there.
They put one that is listening for the baby and measuring the baby's heartbeat.
And then another one up higher on her belly that is measuring any contractions that might be happening.
(43:25):
Okay.
And so they, they do this and this was kind of funny to watch because clearly my daughter does not like giving information.
Like so they would get her, there's the heartbeat and you'd hear the, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
You'd hear that noise.
And then she would move.
(43:45):
And then again, she tried for like, she tried for like almost three minutes and, and you'd hear, and you would hear it because of the other sensor, you'd hear her move.
And then, and then finally, then when she got it good enough, then they start tracking it.
So they want to listen basically for about 20 minutes.
(44:07):
They keep these sensors on and it's on a computer and it tracks out as her heart rate is changing.
And it was funny to watch because those sensors were kind of strapped to Kelly's belly and applying pressure.
This was the first time I actually saw movement.
Right.
She's like, Kelly points it out.
(44:29):
She's like, look, and I'm like, wow.
And you could see the sensor would be like moving around.
But, and you could see her heart rate would go up every time she moved and she's like, and you'd hear the noise and then she'd settle down and come back down.
But then they want to basically see it within a certain range and they're looking for heart rate variability.
Basically they want us, they don't want to see like a constant, a constant higher heart rate would indicate some kind of distress or something.
(44:57):
So they, you want to see the up and down and they did all that and it was good.
That's awesome.
But it was a fun, it was an interesting test to watch, but I did, I was entertained by the girl, the technician trying to find, there she was.
Oh, there it is.
Move.
There it is.
She had to track it down.
Maybe because we're, we're men.
It's, and I know this is nature and this is humans, but it's so cool to think your baby's in there.
(45:24):
I just, it blows my mind.
I know it's, it's, it's simple thought process.
Yes.
You're the woman is pregnant.
She has a baby, but as men, we can't do this.
We'll never experience it.
We can't have children just to thought of like, there's another human in my, my loved one, my, my person.
It is a thing that it's so easy.
Like from when you were a kid, you understand what happens, but when you see it happen, even at my, like even at my age and having seen a lot, lots of life, it is, you're just amazed by how this all just happens.
(46:01):
And even though now with the doctors and how much, how many intervention points there are, how many things they're checking all the time and watching, this is something that has just happened for humans for thousands of years.
But it is, it's, it's, it's still, it is amazing to go, Oh my God, my baby.
(46:22):
Yeah.
That there's this, yeah.
That in a few weeks there's going to be a new person and my wife made it.
So, so we, we, we've got, I got to see that.
That was good.
So good visit.
Overall, everything's headed in the right direction once a week now.
And we get one of those now every week.
Okay.
So they keep checking on everything.
The challenge this week has been, I think, because again, we keep talking about how quickly baby Josie is growing.
(46:50):
So Kelly is really feeling the physical demands.
Now she's getting tired a lot quicker, harder for her to get comfortable.
She's having more couple times a night.
She will wake up, she can't sleep.
She's not getting as much rest and I'll give her usually a little back rub and that helps her get back comfortable and back to sleep.
(47:10):
So it's, it's getting to be more of a physical challenge now as we get closer, but she's a trooper, she's doing really well.
And then the nice thing, a wonderful thing, I should say that when we were at the point where we were just starting to tell people like, and we knew what was happening, we found out that Kelly's cousin who lives in, in, uh, in Michigan was also pregnant and like four weeks ahead of Kelly.
(47:41):
And just today they had their baby and we got, so that was great news.
So are the listeners of the podcast?
I don't, let's get them on this.
The baby in hand.
Yeah, we could do that.
I'm not sure if they listen or not, but they, they have a beautiful baby boy.
His name is Arman.
(48:03):
First of all, saw the picture and good looking kid, right?
Like he's a good, and they're both, they're both very good looking.
They're good looking people.
I think they were trying to do try and natural, but they tried for a while.
I think she ended up having a cesarean.
So she's recovering and she's, you know, she's doing okay.
You don't have to tell me about age, younger or average.
(48:25):
No, yeah.
More closer to average age, but has, has gone through a lot of the similar, similar challenges to Kelly with the gestational diabetes and things like that.
So to see that now, and it was, it was, we woke up this morning and I look at my phone and there's the text message with pictures and I'm like, Hey, look.
And I think that that makes it real.
(48:46):
That made it easier.
I think for Kelly dealing with what she's dealing now, cause she sees like you're going to get one of those, right?
You're going to get, that's going to be, that's going to be us in a few weeks.
So that was true.
That was really nice to see what it made me think about.
And I've been to hear your take immediately.
(49:07):
I go to this is, I'm messed up immediately.
I look in the, this is a cute kid.
And my immediate thought is, is my kid going to be as cute?
Is she going to be, she's got to be cuter.
Like I'm it's like this competition idea in my head of my kid.
I want my kid to be like, just like to, to be for whose sake, better look at me for my baby doesn't care.
(49:39):
Your wife is very pretty and you're not ugly.
So you have no problem there.
I don't, I think we're going to do okay.
But I just, I think these things and I immediately laugh at myself because I'm like, it's just, it's ridiculous.
But did you, so when you were, when you were, were you like, I don't know about the competition part.
Cause I don't think I had so like Pete's Pete's kids were around the same age or a little older.
(50:02):
My nephew is going to be, is going to be 30, like 28, 29.
Okay.
So they were, they were first.
So they were first at my oldest is 23.
So we had a gap.
Yeah.
So I didn't have that.
Like where they were next to each other at the same age, but absolutely.
I worried about how the baby look.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I mean, it was like, cause listen, we don't want to say it, but there's two babies and there's not so cute.
(50:31):
Yes.
Sometimes.
And I didn't want to be in that scenario now.
And my thing is when we had our first, he was light, very member.
I use three weeks.
Yeah.
So it wasn't, he wasn't in full, um, you know, full capacity, right.
Right.
The weight and all that, but it still was adorable.
(50:53):
Yeah.
But once he got into that, like the drinking and eating and, Oh my God.
And it didn't take long.
Right.
Yeah.
Just core.
I mean, we would have people like, Oh my God, you're the baby's so and then Nicholas was just a doll.
I mean, he was plump and he was, his face was round and I was smiling.
So yes, you, you will be thinking that I want a cute baby.
(51:19):
I want people lying to me.
Yep.
Um, but yes, I don't want to have to, I don't want to have to pretend, but no, I think it goes through.
It's like, Oh, your baby looks like Milton Berle.
Like, yeah, it's comical, but I do.
And I also, and I think all of it, it's like, I want her to be musically talented.
(51:43):
I want her to be smart.
I want all those things.
And, and it's, and I, and I keep reminding myself, what you want is for her to be happy.
Right.
That's, that's what you want.
I want her to be happy.
I want her to healthy and happy.
Healthy is probably the, yeah, because you can, you can make happy with what you do.
Healthy is you, that's a blessing.
That's the one.
(52:03):
Right.
I mean, that's like, yeah, happy.
You will do with your wife and your family and people around you.
That's going to happen.
That's going to happen.
Health is number one.
Yep.
Do you want a boy or you want a girl when people say, I just want it to be healthy.
How true all the right equipment, how true, right.
How true that is when you're in that situation.
(52:23):
I didn't care if it was a boy, girl, hair, no hair.
I just like, please give the baby a chance.
Yeah.
I'll take care of the rest.
I'll take care of the rest.
Yeah.
No, that's it.
It is.
But yeah, it's funny with the cute thing.
I mean, as we were talking about, I was remembering Marie, my niece that we were talking about earlier when she was a baby, she was absolutely like, it was ridiculous.
(52:47):
Blonde hair, blue eyes.
My brother always tells this story about, but he tells it in such a way that it's bad because he, because when he says it, he'll say it in front of my knees and he'll, but he'll say it like, you really were beautiful.
Oh, like, like a change.
Like, yeah.
Like what now?
She's a beautiful girl.
Right.
But when she was like, he'll tell these stories.
(53:09):
They were out to brunch somewhere and the chef came out just to see her.
Like she was, yeah, she was, she was like a little, she was like a little doll.
Like she was, it was just the blue, the blue eyes, the blonde hair.
She was, you know, that there won't, there probably won't be any of that, but with me and there's not going to be any blue eyes.
Maybe hazel eyes, maybe.
(53:31):
Yeah, maybe.
Someone's going to be a conversation to the doctors.
What are we, what are we mixing up here?
What's going on?
But yeah, no, it is, it is a, a thought that I think a lot of people, a lot of people have maybe won't mention it or talk about it, but we will.
That's the difference.
I'm willing to articulate all my awful thoughts.
(53:53):
So like you said, health and then you've got some good looks here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll be thrilled if she looks like Kelly.
Absolutely.
It's a win-win.
It's a win-win.
But anyway, we have come to the end of yet another episode.
Wow.
18.
Uh, yeah.
Episode 18 in the, in the can, but we will be back as certainly we will be back next week.
(54:16):
First show with the baby here.
Yeah.
God, the whole thing changes.
Kelly and I have been in discussion about how we quit.
She feels very strongly as I, as I do, the more I read and understand that the, that no, no social media pictures and it's certainly not on the podcast.
(54:40):
I said when just one picture, I want to be able to share with everybody at least one picture of the baby when she comes and I'm not sure about sharing like with friends and family and no, no, I mean on the, on the podcast, I would like to, I would like to do that one and at the very least without covering the and I'm, I'm going to have a, I'm going to have a hard time selling her.
(55:04):
Can I tell you, and I know she's listening with Watson on her right now, right?
If you're going to do that, do it as early as possible because the face changes.
That's what I said.
That's, that's what I said.
It would be so early.
You wouldn't just want totally different.
Cause I feel like if you've invested the time in listening, you should get to see honestly, I mean, I'm not joking around.
(55:27):
If you're going to take photos right away, do it, do it within the first couple of days because within a week you don't even know what you're doing.
It's a totally different.
Honestly, one of the things, I don't think I've mentioned this, but this was another very generous gift from Kelly's brother and his wife.
They got us a gift certificate for a baby photo shoot.
(55:47):
So we have like a portrait.
Like I was like, what is that?
A thing used to do so many photos with babies.
Yeah.
We used to go, we used to go, I know one place was at the mall.
They had this thing and we have, I think we've taken both of them.
It was so cool.
We would.
Oh yeah.
No, you're going to do all that stuff.
We have one picture.
Oh my God.
I'll say this before we go.
(56:09):
They put babies in different scenarios, right?
Right.
There was one.
They put the baby in a hatched egg.
Like a Robinson.
The yolk was like a towel or something.
Okay.
And for the longest time we told, I believe it was Nicholas that that's how you babies are born.
(56:32):
We even have the picture to prove it.
He was born in his head.
So we used to take those photos so much and we loved it.
That's awesome.
Didn't they used to put baby announcements in the paper, like wedding with the baby pictures.
Did they do that?
Or am I just, am I making that up?
(56:53):
They used to do wedding announcements.
I think that's the thing that would do babies too.
Anyway, we gave you another five minutes of nonsense.
Yeah.
I guess that maybe, maybe you'll see the picture.
Maybe not.
We don't know.
I'm pulling for you guys to be able to see it.
I think if you've invested the time, yeah, you should get it.
But they can think we're lying about the whole thing.
(57:14):
There's no way that guy's a father.
You're just having new puppies.
That's it.
He's just buying a bunch of babies with all those damn books you read about dogs.
Some creepy guy hanging around the baby department at Target.
Frank's not even married.
We need to say this guy.
Frank's been single and I'm, I need help.
I've been locked in this basement for 18 episodes.
(57:35):
Carlos locked in my basement.
He's just trying to earn his way out.
Okay.
Thank you for sticking with us again.
And, uh, and we will see you next week.
Well folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of our future adventures.
(58:02):
And while you're at it, give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using.
Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life or even when normal people do it, email us at g h d c.podcast at gmail.com.
(58:23):
We'd love to hear from you.
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
We're rapidly running out of space.
(00:02):
There's stuff everywhere.
Yeah, we literally had a conversation this weekend about building a pole barn.
I'm like, I need another like, I need another 4,000 square feet.
Come on.
Don't forget to put a studio in there.
And sadly, what the reaction from my lovely wife was, yeah, you're probably right.
I'm like, did you just, yeah.
(00:25):
I'm like, we already built a 1,200 square foot garage, but I just want you happy.
She just wants me to out of the house.
So I, when I swear, go to the barn.
(00:47):
This is the Gray Hair and Daycare Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ right in that same range.
Your hosts, Frank Sirio and Carlo Russo.
Welcome back.
Here we are.
We're back Frankie.
And it is episode 18.
(01:09):
Wow.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
There you go.
Boom.
Boom.
Something like that.
Yeah, it's 20.
Yeah, it is.
When I saw it, when I was typing things up this morning, I thought, wow, it's 18.
We started in the very beginning of November.
We started with one.
We started at one.
We did.
In fact, what was the date?
(01:31):
You think?
I think we recorded the first one, October 29th.
Wow.
Like right at the end of it, right around Halloween time.
And yeah, it has flown by.
A lot of things have happened.
Yes.
In that little stretch of time.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was gone.
Yeah, it feels almost, in some ways it feels longer.
It does.
But here we are, episode 18.
(01:51):
As always, I am Frank Sirio.
I am 55 years old and my wife is 35 weeks pregnant.
35.
So close.
So close.
We are right there.
And we finally have a recognizable and new produce reference for the size of little baby Josie.
(02:12):
And it is a head of romaine lettuce.
Romaine lettuce.
Romaine.
Romaine.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a long.
That's the long.
Yeah.
Long and skinny.
So head of romaine lettuce.
She at 35 weeks is gaining now about an ounce a day.
Nice.
(02:32):
So even more.
It was about a half pound a week.
Now it's even like, I guess it's about the same.
An ounce a day.
She is.
So the baby at that, at this stage for a while now has had a little hair.
Looks like a little monkey everywhere.
Yeah.
Although the body, right?
That's going away.
So.
She's already balding.
She's already losing that.
And getting rid of the waxy substance that is, covers the skin that is called, and I had to look up how to pronounce this, vernix quesosa.
(03:03):
Oh, I love that with little chips.
When I saw it, I thought it was, I was pronouncing it like it was a Harry Potter spell.
Vernix quesosa.
Vernix quesosa.
I'm pronouncing it like we're going to a Mexican restaurant.
Yeah.
Vernix quesosa, I guess is the way it's pronounced.
Okay.
So that's working off.
Do you think that equals, you said that she's, that's leaving the body?
Yeah.
So, you know, when, when sometimes when they're preemies, they look a little waxy.
(03:26):
Sure.
That's coming off now.
So do you think it has something to do with that leaving the body and then the hair falling has, has something to do with each other?
Because it's not there to.
Sure.
I mean, I'm not sure.
I just happy that that's starting because when you see the kid, you know, when, and they've got, I like, I like it.
If that's gone by the time we meet, I would like to have a nice dress on and possibly a little, a little hairdo.
(03:53):
Do you know how you were when you were born or when Kelly was born, if you guys had hair as babies, if you had a hairdo, I don't know about, I want to say that Kelly did.
I don't know if I did.
I don't think, I don't think so, but I'm not sure.
I mean, sometimes you will have to do and then it falls right out because the pictures of me when I was little, there was not a lot going on up there.
(04:18):
Yeah.
So I'm not positive.
Well, you got it now.
That's right.
I'm going to try to keep it as long as I can.
That's right.
Yeah.
So that's where we are.
We're getting real close.
It's only a few weeks away.
It's still no hard date.
We'll talk a little bit more about some of the doctor updates.
No, they're just giving you a little.
Every week they're checking us, checking out, making sure things are headed in the right direction.
(04:42):
And, and they just set an appointment now for the week that we thought we were going to be induced in week 39.
So we'll see.
I think it's one of those things that if you're going to be induced, which is what they have kept telling us, the way with the hospital and the availability and the way it works, I think they want to get close because they want to schedule you so that if they have surprised people who are not being induced, that they've got room for them on the floor and all that stuff.
(05:13):
I think we'll get more clarity next week as we go through, but we'll talk more about, we'll talk more about that stuff later on.
But right now, what we haven't, I don't know if we had one of these last time, but we have one this time and we often do, we'll move on to, I was wrong.
I was wrong, but I was wrong.
(05:36):
We'll get to that.
Oh no, we've got one for you.
I still got love out there.
So if you'll recall one of the things that we talked about, I think two episodes ago.
So that would be 16.
Okay.
Maybe was one of the methods that you described during childbirth with Trina.
(05:57):
Oh God, don't please, let's not bring that back up.
That's the one.
So I was, I was notified, I was notified.
I've heard on previous episodes that Trina listens on her way back and forth to work and at other times, as soon as she gets home, she will intervene, which would lead us to that actually is related to my, I was wrong, but anyhow, so she texted me immediately on release day for that episode.
(06:28):
And she said the, her, I was wrong was they did not say, quote, boldface hose down your wife when you were trying to do some, but she did say the point was that the warm water in that instance was to help relax, relax, relieve the pressure on the lower back.
(06:53):
And she said it worked like a charm because you only had to do it for five minutes.
And immediately after she had been, she was at 10 centimeters and ready to go.
So valuable, but was the question, the terminology, I can't believe you said hosed me down.
I said, well, I gotta come up with a little comedy at this whole, you know, well, you're not a comedy podcast.
(07:16):
Well, you know, I don't know.
I think we might be, I think we're turning into that.
We might be.
So there was, there was that now mine was a little more serious.
I feel bad about this.
And I, I was told that I did not have to do this.
I was wrong, but I feel compelled to.
Okay.
So one of the things that Trina came running home about was the OG Prita baby snot sucker thing that you are not going to be crash test daddy for that device.
(07:46):
Cause that was suggested by my niece Marie.
Sure.
And then, you know, so we talked about that, but later on when I was on vacation, one episode, maybe a couple of episodes ago, I think I mentioned that while Marie had recommended it and told me that it was a great product and that we should test it, that my brother's wife, Jane, while we were on vacation informed me that Marie in fact had not used it.
(08:16):
Right.
And that it was used by her husband, Marie's husband.
Correct.
And this was not correct.
I feel like I have been, I have been led astray.
I have been bamboozled by Jane, which I'm deeply, deeply disappointed, which I could say this right into the camera knowing she'll never hear it cause she doesn't listen to the podcast or watch.
And my brother probably won't either.
(08:38):
And right now they're all in the UK, which my brother would have to pay for a data plan.
Never happened.
So, but yeah, Jane made characterize it.
Now it was a quick conversation in her defense, but Marie absolutely did use it the first time she made her husband do it, but she, she used it many, many times to great effect.
(09:02):
And she was a little upset with me for a while for impugning her character and saying that maybe she had led, let us down a premise.
And I, I am you, you didn't do it.
I mean, you just reacted, you reacted to my right.
Whatever you say, we have to own our own.
You own your rungs.
I own my, so Marie, I apologize.
(09:24):
You were, I believe I was, I was led astray by Jane.
I'll, I will deal with that at some point.
I was wrong.
Sorry, Jane.
I made this all by myself.
She is busy in the middle of just moved into a new place.
Jane is.
Yeah.
(09:44):
Yeah.
And my brother is there.
My, my brother hates being in, in the UK.
He hates being in the UK.
Gotcha.
He's gotten he's lived in Tennessee for a very long time.
He's used to sun.
He's used to, you know, fairly nice weather.
Rain does not.
And it's all, he just, he complains about everything.
So she's busy trying to decorate her new place.
(10:06):
And he's probably busy annoying her.
He marries an English woman that has a house still in England.
You're probably gonna have to go there once in a while.
Yep.
Yep.
No, that's what's amusing is he actually has a spreadsheet.
Really runs in the family.
Really?
Not only does he track every trip he's gone on and where he's been and all that stuff, but he tracks how much time they spend as a couple in Tennessee, in the UK and traveling.
(10:35):
And he tries to make sure he's getting everything.
The lion's share of, Oh no, not equal.
He gets more time in Tennessee than, than there.
So, uh, but she's, uh, somehow able to deal with it, work, deal with that.
And that's okay.
She's just giving you wrong information.
She's just, yep.
Setting me up to hurt my niece's feelings.
(10:57):
Beautiful.
That was nice of you.
That was, that has sucked out much, so much.
It's not that we're here.
She is a legitimate tested recommendation.
And is it her daughter or son?
Does she have a daughter?
She has daughter.
Dot.
Yep.
And we, we, we said nothing.
We said she did nothing.
Yeah, that wasn't right.
Now we know.
(11:18):
I'm still not doing it.
I will be divorced.
I will be divorced.
That's it.
The hose down.
She can live with everything else.
This sucking of the, yes.
That's the line.
It's okay.
So there, there is, I was wrong.
And now I still haven't developed the slide yet, but I hopefully when I say this one that will make you laugh and everyone will enjoy will appear.
(11:43):
We're going to move on to the second time we've done this Frank around and find out for us.
The super bowl was just two days ago.
Yep.
And I was just thinking about number one.
So obviously there's no spoilers now because it's a couple of weeks in.
So number one, Kansas city, like I didn't watch, I don't care about football.
(12:08):
Who did they play last?
Who did they play?
San Francisco.
Yep.
Okay.
So last year you're watching them beat San Francisco.
If someone came along and said to you, you know what a year from now, Kansas city is going to get the, just crushed by the Eagles.
(12:30):
They're going to get crushed by the Eagles.
And in the stands, there's going to be Donald Trump.
Why would he be in a stand?
He is the president of the United States.
And when the camera lands on him at the super bowl, he will get a standing ovation from almost the entire crowd.
Yeah.
Right.
And then the camera turns to Taylor Swift and booze erupt throughout the crowd for Taylor booze.
(12:59):
That would never happen.
You can see her mouth.
What's happening?
Like she was terrified.
Like what's going on?
People are booing me.
Well, what do you have believed?
That's crazy, Frank, because first of all, Kansas city getting beat down.
I mean, realistically, they're probably going to play the Eagles.
I agree.
But beat down, like, like they're not even there.
(13:22):
That's stupid.
That's not going to happen.
And then Trump, you're talking Trump as the president of the United States again, after whatever we've been through with Trump, he would never become the president again.
And then on top of that, let's say somehow he finally became the 47th president again, they would be cheering him.
(13:45):
You are ridiculous.
And T swizzle, twizzle tea, whatever they call her boot.
Everybody loves her.
Everybody loves her.
How it is.
It is astonishing.
What has happened?
So what happened to the present in this, in this country?
I was like, I was just seeing everything the next day.
I'm looking, I'm looking on X and there's the video, the video of her when the booze erupt and she had no idea, side eyes, her friend, and you can see her say, what's going on?
(14:14):
Who, who are they hated?
That's embarrassing.
Oh, me.
It was Brad Cooper that much.
It was amazing to watch.
And then seeing it, like just the idea that so much has happened in the few weeks that he's been president.
And it seems like, do you, this is the question I have is you can already see with the things that are happening, the usual suspects are digging in and getting entrenched and they seem to be trying to gin up the, the resistance, right?
(14:46):
We're going to take it in the streets and we're going to burn the place down, but nobody's doing that.
Right.
They're just, they're just screaming, screaming in an empty room.
This is an assault on democracy.
And I, every time they do that, I want to say, no, no bureaucracy, bureaucracy, but it's just amazing that they're, they're doing their thing, but it just seems like all of a sudden the country woke up from a, like a nightmare of, of this liberal, ridiculous nonsense.
(15:21):
And it's not even, it's not, we've talked about it.
It's our forefathers.
You know, so when we say this, it's not like, Oh, here they go.
The right way.
No, because this is nothing like what we're used to having the Democrats of the past.
It's just not, I think that's how you end up with Musk actually like a year and a half ago, illustrated it really well.
(15:43):
He was talking about, look, I was a left of center, right?
Democrat.
My views didn't move the scale move.
Absolutely.
Right.
The, the, the scale moved underneath people.
So normal conservatives became right-wing extremists.
(16:05):
People were in the middle became conservative and, and he like guys like Bill Maher, right.
They start to all of a sudden, Oh, he's changed.
No, he's the same guy.
He's kind of what we remember as a traditional moderate Democrat, right.
Or maybe a little bit ask questions of your government.
(16:26):
That's that, you know what I mean?
I'm both sides.
What fascist in history wanted to cut spending.
I know it's so ridiculous, but, but getting back to the, getting back to the prediction, the year of the Superbowl prediction, I'm not surprised at the Boeing.
I mean, she's like the Kansas city, right?
(16:47):
So let's boo on that because they also booed John Hamm.
Yeah.
Oh really?
Yeah.
They, which come on, John Hamm.
He's great because he's a Kansas city fan.
It was in new Orleans.
So was it like a Phillies or Eagles dominated?
It had to be because the crowd was louder.
Right.
So I'm assuming it was dominated one side more than the other.
And I'm going to say the Eagle side one.
(17:08):
And then on top of that, I think people are just sick of her, right?
Just the whole, the whole crew, the whole thing with her, her and Blake Lively being buddies and all this stuff with her.
So I think that puts on top of them.
The most I'm surprised is the crowd cheered.
(17:28):
This is a Superbowl.
We're not talking about the Republican.
It's not the RNC.
We're talking about the Superbowl where he should have got, he would have got a lot of booze when he was the 45th president.
Right.
And it was, it was like, I remember when the UFC, remember when he first won and you could say, okay, that's the UFC.
It's very pro.
(17:49):
Okay.
I got it.
That's why I'm saying this is a Superbowl.
It's not the UFC.
Yeah.
You're in new Orleans.
New Orleans.
Right.
And the crowd, it was deafening when they showed his face.
Yeah.
One of the things I think they always, people used to say, conservative, a lot of conservatives would say politics is downstream of social, you know, social issues.
(18:10):
But I think with the liberals and Democrats have done for a long time is they've done it the other way, right?
They have used politics to drive social issues.
Right.
What really, I think a lot of people it's true.
We're mistaken is it's really a cycle, right?
Like politics drives the social stuff and the social stuff drives politics.
(18:31):
And that's what happened was the Democrats used politics to drive this social engineering stuff so far that it impacted the social stuff and the country pushed back and was like, no, you're going to always have that tipping point, right?
You're going to.
And now I think it's like, we're at a point where like, stop, we're not buying, we're not buying that product anymore.
(18:53):
I used to say that all the time that it was like, people would always say, well, it's a, it's a pendulum, right?
It swings one way and it swings the other.
But for a long time, for the last 15, 20 years, it's not a pendulum.
I have felt like it's not a pendulum.
It's a ratchet, right?
It swings one way, but it doesn't go back all the way.
Right.
It's, it goes and then it swings again.
(19:15):
So it's moving in one direction.
You're not getting a full back and forth.
You're not getting back and forth.
All of a sudden, somebody went, nope, and it came back.
And I hope it's something that ultimately is good.
Hopefully when things like this happen, things get fixed.
Hopefully it gets fixed on both ends.
Yeah.
Right.
There should be good things that come from it.
Let's reset.
Yeah.
Let's reset because obviously as they always say, the people have spoken.
(19:38):
So there's a problem.
I was always confused because I travel all over the East coast, Midwest.
Yeah.
And you know, the Midwest there, that's America right there.
And I've always confused.
Like if you just listen to social media, everybody hates this particular person or situation.
And then I go travel and I see the same concerns, the same wants, the same needs, the same safety problems that everybody's saying.
(20:09):
And I'm sitting there going, wait a minute.
I talked to a lot of people and we all kind of have the same fears and wants and needs.
But if you listen to the social media or certain channels, you are, you are led down a street that does not look familiar at all.
If you go out there in the real world, very different.
(20:30):
We live in, we're surrounded by farms and stuff like that.
And when you drive around here and you look at these little towns, they're like they were 50 years ago.
They really are.
These are not crazy people.
The same people that have been around with, you know, going to their work and schools and churches and you know, it's still, that's what we are.
(20:53):
That community, those lives have not changed as much over the place.
And it's like that everywhere.
Now you go to these cities.
Yeah.
Cause we traveled to New York all the time.
We go to Chicago, we go to Detroit, we go to all these cities that they think they have it fixed and their cities are screwed up.
(21:15):
Yeah.
It's rough.
Right there.
It's rough.
Yeah.
So, and the people in those cities are going, what's going on?
Right.
Who's voting these people in because I live here and it's not us.
Right.
Somebody's doing it.
But that is, that was Frank around find out.
And now we've got a, I have a little surprise.
This is a surprise.
So we're going to move on to crash test.
(21:38):
Daddy, what is the surprise drink?
So I told Carlo when I put together our cradle wise cradle, I did a, I shot the whole thing as I put it together and I'm going to do a little time-lapse so you can see it.
And it was pretty easy to put together cradle wise was in it for like, I think it's a great product.
It's, it's well-made, nicely packaged, went together very easily.
(22:01):
Now you are very handy, but you don't have, you're saying I could do it.
Yes.
Very simple.
One, you need a Phillips head screwdriver and an Allen key and they were included and you put it to literally it's one USB cable.
You got to plug in for a lot.
It was, it was quick, like an hour and hour and a half plus, plus, plus.
(22:22):
Yes.
For the product.
It took me more time to break down all the packing, the boxes and stuff, then, then put it together and got it set up.
The app was easy to install everything.
I did have to, I did have to re, I had to go through the setup one, one extra time, but it was good and it's an easy, but that's not really what we're going to do because I want it to surprise you.
(22:45):
So I'm going to hand you what I would like you to, to crash test today.
And then, so as I, when I return, you'll, you'll see it.
So I'm going to go grab it and bring it over for you.
Awesome.
I love this.
Is it a puppy?
Oh, the baby's back.
Okay.
So as you can see, what you can see, what Carlo has in front of him now is the, my breast friends, super deluxe 25th anniversary nursing pillow.
(23:22):
And I thought it would be fun for you to try it out and see, see how it works.
It's very, very well reviewed.
Okay.
And so, so as you can see, I have this, I've never seen it before.
He just handed to me.
I have baby Josie, the fake one, of course, in her swimming cap.
(23:42):
Yes.
I'm just going to move this.
Can I take a look at what you go right ahead?
Slide that out of the way.
I'll narrate as you go.
You want me to hold baby Josie?
Cause you're going to need to figure this out by the head.
Great.
There we go.
And it's called the what it's called.
It's called, I love this.
It is the, my breast friend, B R E S T my breast friend, super deluxe 25th anniversary edition nursing pillow.
(24:09):
So I'm going to assume that I'm going to put this around me.
Yep.
Probably won't fit, but I can make it bigger.
Now this is what I didn't figure out immediately, but I'm going to give you the clue that that thing that you had your hand on, you can tear it off.
Oh, that's that's no, no, no.
This over here, the little clippy that comes right off.
(24:31):
It's Velcro.
So you can make it bigger.
Cause I tried to put it on.
I couldn't get it around my arm.
So it's supposed to go around your waist.
So I'm going to assume that this is going to go around my waist, which it is right here.
I'm then going to take my breast friends and put them out.
Yep.
You got to clip it in.
You got to give it a full turn.
Come on.
We have to give it a proper, we got to give it a proper test.
(24:54):
That's what I would do if I were you.
Cause it's not, it's going to be snug.
There you go.
Okay.
Yeah, that's not so bad.
Yeah.
Look at that.
You got some stuff.
Yeah.
So now I'm going to, so I think you want, you want it more down on your, more toward your waist, a little bit lower.
How big do you think my friends are?
(25:16):
That's true.
And now, and then there you go.
You got the baby.
Yes.
So now, and that's it.
Now you'll notice there's a little bump.
If you put your hand on the surface, there's a little bump.
So it cradles the baby and, and allows them to be like right position correctly.
And that, that is it.
So, and you can then now you can then lean back and it kind of stays, see nice and easy.
(25:43):
So, and then by your left hand, there's a little pocket for other accessories, cigarettes and cheese sticks, whatever, you know, whatever you got in there.
This is back in the sixties and seventies.
Yeah.
There was none of the, is it uncomfortable?
Not at all.
And the back is great.
(26:04):
Okay.
It's, it's so good.
I might remove the baby and put a drink into maybe some chips.
Now I have a little table.
There you go.
You could, we could do that as well, but this is supposed to be the Cadillac of, of breastfeeding pillows.
It makes sense.
I just love that.
When I saw the name, it's really called the My Breast Friend.
(26:27):
My Breast Friend.
When you told me that with Velcro, that works a lot of room.
I might be able to get it out even.
I can still go a lot further.
So it can fit a lot of people.
Yeah.
The baby has a comfortable bedding table here.
Nice and soft.
(26:47):
Material is nice and soft.
Yeah.
And it's, you can zip it off and it's washable.
You're going to not on both sides.
You have that bump.
Yep.
Yep.
It can go either way.
There you go.
So here we go.
Nipples up.
There you go.
(27:07):
There it is.
That's our crash test.
Daddy, the My Breast Friend super deluxe 25th anniversary.
They've been making these forever since 1999.
Yeah.
That is it for crash test daddy.
And we will be right back.
Okay.
(27:30):
We are back.
And Carlo just made an excellent point.
For those of you who are listening and not watching, you are missing out because it is fantastic.
I enjoy watching it and the viewers do usually respond to our crash test daddy segments, but this is another one that's just, you get a, it's a whole, it adds a new dimension.
(27:52):
New dimension.
We had the ones with the rubber ducky.
That's pretty fun.
We had the one that I had to strap the baby to my chest.
Yep.
That was a while back.
Yeah.
So YouTube.
Yeah.
Thank you for listening.
And I love listening to it because you're in a car, you're taking long drives.
But when you're at home and you want to see this silliness, there's nothing like watching a grown man with My Breast Friend.
(28:19):
It's just fantastic.
I don't mean, I don't mean Frank.
I mean My Breast Friend.
That's it.
That's quality branding right there.
My Breast Friend.
My Breast Friend.
So, so we are back.
That was crash test daddy.
And now we will move into what just happened.
(28:40):
So we had a few, few interesting things.
Some of them kind of just like preparation, getting ready because it's getting closer and closer.
We're at that point now where it could kind of happen anytime.
But so the, the, the first thing early on in the week, Kelly and I were talking and we try very hard.
(29:01):
I think I may have, I may have used an expletive on the podcast once.
I, we try very hard not to.
Yes.
And, but in our normal lives and I don't know, in our, in our regular lives, you, I don't know.
I don't think you do.
Not as much as me.
(29:22):
I swear a lot.
Mostly because I'm alone a lot.
Right.
So it's me and the dog.
So, but yeah.
So if I get like a lot of times, like, that's what I remember.
My parents never, no.
One time in my whole life, I heard my father use the F word one time.
(29:43):
And he was literally, he had put a nail through his hand.
Like he literally, I heard F bomb and I looked and it was like, it was through he didn't yell after he nailed him.
So he didn't yell at Jesus Christ.
No, no, no.
(30:03):
And then, uh, pull it out.
But that was the only time like they did not swear.
When I think of your father, I think of a man with very strong hands.
Am I wrong?
He had big hands.
Yeah.
Well, they like, just like, you could tell he wasn't an accountant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Every time I think of your dad, I always think of this.
Yeah.
(30:24):
Yeah.
Over there.
But, but yeah, so they didn't swear, but I do, I have to admit, and I think it's sometimes concerning for Kelly.
Not, not that it, not, not, not that it has ever bothered her.
And I certainly never, I'm trying to remember you swearing a lot.
It's mostly she's around when I'm doing projects and I get frustrated or stuff, things like that.
(30:45):
Most of my swearing is like directed at like inanimate objects.
But now I think it's, it's a heightened concern in the context of we're going to have a little girl runner.
Oh my God.
And her suggestion was, and I don't know how exactly she brought it up, but she brought up the good place.
So great show, Kristen Bell and Ted Danson, and they weren't allowed to swear in the good place.
(31:11):
So it would automatically, so she'd try to say the F word and it would come out, whatever it was.
Fork.
Yeah.
What the fork?
So Kelly's like, we need to come up with our own set that we're going to use.
And I, I'm always, I'm always entertained when, when my wife says we, because it's mostly when she says we need to do something, it's not her and the mouse in her pocket.
(31:37):
It's me.
Right.
And she's like, we need to come up with our own good place substitutions for this.
Cause she never like, yeah, I don't see that ever.
Like that doesn't happen.
So I'm going to have to come up with some go-to substitute expletives.
And I thought we could, this could be another viewer participation item.
(32:02):
And I would imagine that's gotta be a challenge for an average parent.
Do you remember when you were like, when your kids were little and ready to repeat things?
Right.
So you have to, you have a, you have a timeframe that you can still talk.
I got a little, I got some runway.
You got some, you know, some room, but yes, you do have to keep that in mind because they will repeat and they will repeat it at the oddest places at church, church, out to dinner, talking to the waitress or the service staff.
(32:32):
So I don't remember a particular thing that happened, but we did have to be careful because I know it happened.
My, my key word would be not the F word, but the, um, saying the S word.
Cause I, I, I say that a lot.
Yeah.
So that, you know, if the shaving cream or, you know, maybe, uh, yeah.
(32:54):
Got to come up with a good one for that.
But I'm going to tell you right now, you're going to fail a lot of times to make it a normal thing, not to keep doing it.
You're going to say the word and go, Oh my God.
And you're going to do it.
It's going to happen until it becomes a habit that you're not doing it.
So you're going to, it's going to leak out there.
(33:14):
And that one time is when baby Josie picks it up.
So you're going to, you're walking around going, Hey, shaving cream.
And she's walking around going.
Right.
I do think of that.
I think with a little boy, I think of that and I think, well, yeah, you don't want your little girl walking around.
It'd be kind of funny if a little girl would be like, Oh yeah.
(33:35):
Yeah.
I'll feel great.
So what word are you worried?
What word generally will come out of your face?
What's a bad one.
Yeah.
I, I have a pretty, I have a pretty wide menu of things, but I think as long as you stay away from the F word.
Yeah.
I think the son of a, that one, that one, I throw around and then the, yeah, the mother F or one, two, I throw out there.
(34:04):
Yeah.
So I'm going to, I need some work.
I'm going to have to try to clean that up.
I never had daughters.
So mine was more of like the, you know, I said it, but it's like, Hey, don't say that around your mother.
Son of a B.
I never, that never comes out of my mouth.
Sometimes people, when they say, I even hate saying it now, but like when somebody says bastard, yeah, that's ugly.
(34:28):
Yeah.
That is something that I will, that's ugly.
That's a, that, that I think I break out mostly during DIY projects because I think if it's something that won't fit.
Right.
Right.
But other than that, I think if you can keep her away from, you know, I'm going to try the main ones, the big ones, but it's funny.
We should have like a good place fork.
(34:49):
Yeah, I could do that.
If I can make a game out of it and make it funny, that will help because I think it, I think that'll make it easier for me to get my head around and get better at it.
You know what is, I just thought about when I'm on stage, I swear like a sailor.
See, right.
But that's more of a character.
(35:10):
It's a character.
Right.
That's not you.
When I do live radio TV, I don't even think about it.
Am I going to swear?
It doesn't even, you don't have to worry about it.
I don't even think about it.
But the minute I'm on stage and I do my, whatever I'm doing at the time, that character is known to be, you know, to swear.
And it's funny how you can shut that off.
(35:30):
If I shut it right off on my normal.
Yeah.
I mean, I swear.
Don't get me wrong.
I swear.
You're on stage working with somebody who could make the Pope swear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I, I mean, I do swear and I probably swore a little bit more now because I have a 23 year old and a 18 year old, so I'm not really worried about what they hear.
(35:52):
Yeah.
But it is, I'll tell you, I remember hearing what the kids are saying when they're playing the games.
Me and Gina would walk by the room and go, what, what, what just came out of that room?
And we would walk out, we would walk in there going, um, hello, you're 13.
What the heck are you doing?
And they're like, Ooh, cause they don't, they realize, Oh yeah, I don't talk like this at home.
(36:16):
They get on that.
It's like the stage thing.
Yeah.
They get on that game.
They turn into that character.
It's a different arena.
Yeah.
So that's going to be a funny thing too.
When you hear your children swear.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yup.
That'll be different.
That'd be different.
But the more, the more that you can avoid around the house obviously is going to set her up.
I think you're good.
(36:37):
Yeah.
We'll be okay.
You just have to go outside and just, you know, swear and come back in the house.
I can whisper it to the dogs.
Come here, send this to you.
So, so there's that came up, which I thought was kind of funny.
One thing that I did get done, Kelly's brother and his wife very generously gave us this car seat at the one, the shower in Buffalo.
(36:59):
Very important.
And this is a cool one because it's not just, it's basically like a carrier.
It has the handle and it has a base that stays in the car.
And then just go click, click.
That's the best.
That's the way to do it.
But we have had one of those slings in the back seat.
So the dogs don't destroy the, don't destroy the, the upholstery.
(37:21):
And it was a little dirty.
And I hadn't, I hadn't done a good cleaning of the inside of my car for a while.
So I thought, you know what?
I'm not going to mess around with it.
I cleaned everything out.
And then Sunday after church, we got our groceries and then I dropped the car off for Delta Sonic to have them do it.
And it was like, not a sponsor yet.
Come back, not a sponsor.
Yeah.
I would love it.
They come back and like, they come back in four hours.
(37:44):
I'm like, okay.
So they do the handwash, they do the interior and it was pretty bad, right?
Like, so every year I think we've talked about it where at Christmas time, we'll go and buy a bald tree, little tree, and we'll have it out in the backyard where we can see it with the lights on it.
And then we plant it.
So that thing in the burlap, I shove it into the back of my SUV.
(38:09):
So there's pine needles.
It was really messy.
They did a fantastic job, everything all clean.
They did a really good job.
I was very happy.
Like honestly, like the car, I was like, this is better than when I got it.
Yeah.
It was fantastic.
Got it home, figured out the latch system.
So you don't have to use the seatbelts.
(38:29):
It blocks right in.
Got that in and installed.
Nice and tight, right?
It's nice and snug.
Even has a little level bubble.
So you get it all set.
So we got that ready to go.
And then I have to figure out where does the thing live all the time when the baby, yeah.
So we're going to have to come up with something for that, but got that in.
What do you mean where does it live?
(38:49):
In the house somewhere?
I like things to have a place.
Where?
Where is it going to go?
It could go in the mudroom where we have that stuff.
Yeah.
But we're like, we're rapidly running out of space.
There's stuff everywhere.
Good thing you have acres back there.
Yeah.
I literally had a conversation this weekend about building a pole barn.
I'm like, I need another like, I need another 4,000 square feet.
(39:13):
Just solid.
Come on.
Don't forget to put a studio in there.
And sadly, the reaction from my lovely wife was, yeah, you're probably right.
I'm like, did you just like, I'm like, we already built a 1200 square foot garage.
She just wants you happy.
She just wants me to out of the house.
So when I swear, go to the barn.
(39:35):
That'll be it.
But it's a great, it's a great thing.
You latch on off, makes it easy.
Super easy, right?
Rather than, especially with a little kid.
And the way it's set up too, it is expandable.
So it goes from the baby thing.
Then you flip the handle back and then it expands all the way up to, I think, I don't know, like 30, I don't know, like 20 pounds or something like that with pounds.
(39:56):
So we'll do a, we'll do a crash test.
I told you about, I told you about a triple A.
You bring it there and they will check out officers there.
Make sure it's good.
Yeah.
We'll go down that route.
We'll bring a video.
We'll do, we'll do a test.
It'll be a while from now, but yeah, so it won't be long.
Usually when they change the weight, you want to make sure, make sure everything's.
(40:16):
And then I think, cause they're facing the opposite way.
Yeah.
Rear facing in the back seat.
And then we got to figure out, we got this mirror thing, but we got to figure out, I was trying to figure out if it's better to have the kid behind the driver so you can see in the mirror or behind the passenger.
So you can look inside.
I'm going to say, I remember this because I would do the driving.
(40:39):
So if mom was on the passenger, she would have the baby so she can.
On behind you.
Behind me.
Yeah.
I think.
We're going to have to experiment.
Carla was wrong.
Trina's like, no, no, no.
That's one thing that this car doesn't have.
The last SUV we had, it had a sunglass case in the center on the ceiling, but if you brought it down halfway, it had a, like a bus mirror so you could see the back seat.
(41:06):
Gotcha.
And we don't have that on this vehicle, but.
I had my first child.
My car was a 35th anniversary Mustang.
My white Mustang.
It was the coolest baby.
That's it.
Not ideal for two door.
Always struggling to get that, you know, think about it.
(41:27):
You have to get that.
Yeah, that's right.
Cause you had to do that.
Yeah.
That's one of the things we're looking at.
We're looking at going from like, right now we have three vehicles.
So we have an SUV that I've usually drive.
There's a sedan that Kelly drives and then I have a Jeep Wrangler that I plow the driveway with and we're going to go down to just two.
(41:47):
So I'm going to, we're going to get rid of the sedan and the Jeep and get a pickup truck, but I want to get a pickup truck with like a, with a crew cab so I don't have to do the whole.
I remember when it was a baby, baby, when we dealt more with the, with the stroller and all that, I had my knee on four door.
Okay.
Accident.
I said, screw it.
Let's get the Mustang.
(42:09):
Struggled a little bit, but by the time Nick came around, that's when I had my PT cruiser.
Okay.
Yep.
Yeah.
And that's a little, it makes it easier getting it out.
Then SUVs and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
Now the challenge with this will be with the baby in there, the dogs are no longer going to fit in the back seat.
So we're going to have to train the dogs to be in like the cargo area, but we'll probably be rumple the littler one in the back seat and the bigger one Watson will be in the way back.
(42:35):
So you did that, you got that ready, the car ready.
We're ready.
And then, so that was all done.
And then we had another doctor's appointment and this was neat.
So this was a new thing that we haven't had yet.
And I think I mentioned it in a previous episode, they did a fetal non stress test.
Oh, so, so basically what this does is this is looking to see that everything is going good with the baby and the way they do it.
(43:01):
They bring into this little room.
We got, I get to go in with her and they put two sensors on her belly.
So Kelly gets in there.
They put one that is listening for the baby and measuring the baby's heartbeat.
And then another one up higher on her belly that is measuring any contractions that might be happening.
(43:25):
Okay.
And so they, they do this and this was kind of funny to watch because clearly my daughter does not like giving information.
Like so they would get her, there's the heartbeat and you'd hear the, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
You'd hear that noise.
And then she would move.
(43:45):
And then again, she tried for like, she tried for like almost three minutes and, and you'd hear, and you would hear it because of the other sensor, you'd hear her move.
And then, and then finally, then when she got it good enough, then they start tracking it.
So they want to listen basically for about 20 minutes.
(44:07):
They keep these sensors on and it's on a computer and it tracks out as her heart rate is changing.
And it was funny to watch because those sensors were kind of strapped to Kelly's belly and applying pressure.
This was the first time I actually saw movement.
Right.
She's like, Kelly points it out.
(44:29):
She's like, look, and I'm like, wow.
And you could see the sensor would be like moving around.
But, and you could see her heart rate would go up every time she moved and she's like, and you'd hear the noise and then she'd settle down and come back down.
But then they want to basically see it within a certain range and they're looking for heart rate variability.
Basically they want us, they don't want to see like a constant, a constant higher heart rate would indicate some kind of distress or something.
(44:57):
So they, you want to see the up and down and they did all that and it was good.
That's awesome.
But it was a fun, it was an interesting test to watch, but I did, I was entertained by the girl, the technician trying to find, there she was.
Oh, there it is.
Move.
There it is.
She had to track it down.
Maybe because we're, we're men.
It's, and I know this is nature and this is humans, but it's so cool to think your baby's in there.
(45:24):
I just, it blows my mind.
I know it's, it's, it's simple thought process.
Yes.
You're the woman is pregnant.
She has a baby, but as men, we can't do this.
We'll never experience it.
We can't have children just to thought of like, there's another human in my, my loved one, my, my person.
It is a thing that it's so easy.
Like from when you were a kid, you understand what happens, but when you see it happen, even at my, like even at my age and having seen a lot, lots of life, it is, you're just amazed by how this all just happens.
(46:01):
And even though now with the doctors and how much, how many intervention points there are, how many things they're checking all the time and watching, this is something that has just happened for humans for thousands of years.
But it is, it's, it's, it's still, it is amazing to go, Oh my God, my baby.
(46:22):
Yeah.
That there's this, yeah.
That in a few weeks there's going to be a new person and my wife made it.
So, so we, we, we've got, I got to see that.
That was good.
So good visit.
Overall, everything's headed in the right direction once a week now.
And we get one of those now every week.
Okay.
So they keep checking on everything.
The challenge this week has been, I think, because again, we keep talking about how quickly baby Josie is growing.
(46:50):
So Kelly is really feeling the physical demands.
Now she's getting tired a lot quicker, harder for her to get comfortable.
She's having more couple times a night.
She will wake up, she can't sleep.
She's not getting as much rest and I'll give her usually a little back rub and that helps her get back comfortable and back to sleep.
(47:10):
So it's, it's getting to be more of a physical challenge now as we get closer, but she's a trooper, she's doing really well.
And then the nice thing, a wonderful thing, I should say that when we were at the point where we were just starting to tell people like, and we knew what was happening, we found out that Kelly's cousin who lives in, in, uh, in Michigan was also pregnant and like four weeks ahead of Kelly.
(47:41):
And just today they had their baby and we got, so that was great news.
So are the listeners of the podcast?
I don't, let's get them on this.
The baby in hand.
Yeah, we could do that.
I'm not sure if they listen or not, but they, they have a beautiful baby boy.
His name is Arman.
(48:03):
First of all, saw the picture and good looking kid, right?
Like he's a good, and they're both, they're both very good looking.
They're good looking people.
I think they were trying to do try and natural, but they tried for a while.
I think she ended up having a cesarean.
So she's recovering and she's, you know, she's doing okay.
You don't have to tell me about age, younger or average.
(48:25):
No, yeah.
More closer to average age, but has, has gone through a lot of the similar, similar challenges to Kelly with the gestational diabetes and things like that.
So to see that now, and it was, it was, we woke up this morning and I look at my phone and there's the text message with pictures and I'm like, Hey, look.
And I think that that makes it real.
(48:46):
That made it easier.
I think for Kelly dealing with what she's dealing now, cause she sees like you're going to get one of those, right?
You're going to get, that's going to be, that's going to be us in a few weeks.
So that was true.
That was really nice to see what it made me think about.
And I've been to hear your take immediately.
(49:07):
I go to this is, I'm messed up immediately.
I look in the, this is a cute kid.
And my immediate thought is, is my kid going to be as cute?
Is she going to be, she's got to be cuter.
Like I'm it's like this competition idea in my head of my kid.
I want my kid to be like, just like to, to be for whose sake, better look at me for my baby doesn't care.
(49:39):
Your wife is very pretty and you're not ugly.
So you have no problem there.
I don't, I think we're going to do okay.
But I just, I think these things and I immediately laugh at myself because I'm like, it's just, it's ridiculous.
But did you, so when you were, when you were, were you like, I don't know about the competition part.
Cause I don't think I had so like Pete's Pete's kids were around the same age or a little older.
(50:02):
My nephew is going to be, is going to be 30, like 28, 29.
Okay.
So they were, they were first.
So they were first at my oldest is 23.
So we had a gap.
Yeah.
So I didn't have that.
Like where they were next to each other at the same age, but absolutely.
I worried about how the baby look.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I mean, it was like, cause listen, we don't want to say it, but there's two babies and there's not so cute.
(50:31):
Yes.
Sometimes.
And I didn't want to be in that scenario now.
And my thing is when we had our first, he was light, very member.
I use three weeks.
Yeah.
So it wasn't, he wasn't in full, um, you know, full capacity, right.
Right.
The weight and all that, but it still was adorable.
(50:53):
Yeah.
But once he got into that, like the drinking and eating and, Oh my God.
And it didn't take long.
Right.
Yeah.
Just core.
I mean, we would have people like, Oh my God, you're the baby's so and then Nicholas was just a doll.
I mean, he was plump and he was, his face was round and I was smiling.
So yes, you, you will be thinking that I want a cute baby.
(51:19):
I want people lying to me.
Yep.
Um, but yes, I don't want to have to, I don't want to have to pretend, but no, I think it goes through.
It's like, Oh, your baby looks like Milton Berle.
Like, yeah, it's comical, but I do.
And I also, and I think all of it, it's like, I want her to be musically talented.
(51:43):
I want her to be smart.
I want all those things.
And, and it's, and I, and I keep reminding myself, what you want is for her to be happy.
Right.
That's, that's what you want.
I want her to be happy.
I want her to healthy and happy.
Healthy is probably the, yeah, because you can, you can make happy with what you do.
Healthy is you, that's a blessing.
That's the one.
(52:03):
Right.
I mean, that's like, yeah, happy.
You will do with your wife and your family and people around you.
That's going to happen.
That's going to happen.
Health is number one.
Yep.
Do you want a boy or you want a girl when people say, I just want it to be healthy.
How true all the right equipment, how true, right.
How true that is when you're in that situation.
(52:23):
I didn't care if it was a boy, girl, hair, no hair.
I just like, please give the baby a chance.
Yeah.
I'll take care of the rest.
I'll take care of the rest.
Yeah.
No, that's it.
It is.
But yeah, it's funny with the cute thing.
I mean, as we were talking about, I was remembering Marie, my niece that we were talking about earlier when she was a baby, she was absolutely like, it was ridiculous.
(52:47):
Blonde hair, blue eyes.
My brother always tells this story about, but he tells it in such a way that it's bad because he, because when he says it, he'll say it in front of my knees and he'll, but he'll say it like, you really were beautiful.
Oh, like, like a change.
Like, yeah.
Like what now?
She's a beautiful girl.
Right.
But when she was like, he'll tell these stories.
(53:09):
They were out to brunch somewhere and the chef came out just to see her.
Like she was, yeah, she was, she was like a little, she was like a little doll.
Like she was, it was just the blue, the blue eyes, the blonde hair.
She was, you know, that there won't, there probably won't be any of that, but with me and there's not going to be any blue eyes.
Maybe hazel eyes, maybe.
(53:31):
Yeah, maybe.
Someone's going to be a conversation to the doctors.
What are we, what are we mixing up here?
What's going on?
But yeah, no, it is, it is a, a thought that I think a lot of people, a lot of people have maybe won't mention it or talk about it, but we will.
That's the difference.
I'm willing to articulate all my awful thoughts.
(53:53):
So like you said, health and then you've got some good looks here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll be thrilled if she looks like Kelly.
Absolutely.
It's a win-win.
It's a win-win.
But anyway, we have come to the end of yet another episode.
Wow.
18.
Uh, yeah.
Episode 18 in the, in the can, but we will be back as certainly we will be back next week.
(54:16):
First show with the baby here.
Yeah.
God, the whole thing changes.
Kelly and I have been in discussion about how we quit.
She feels very strongly as I, as I do, the more I read and understand that the, that no, no social media pictures and it's certainly not on the podcast.
(54:40):
I said when just one picture, I want to be able to share with everybody at least one picture of the baby when she comes and I'm not sure about sharing like with friends and family and no, no, I mean on the, on the podcast, I would like to, I would like to do that one and at the very least without covering the and I'm, I'm going to have a, I'm going to have a hard time selling her.
(55:04):
Can I tell you, and I know she's listening with Watson on her right now, right?
If you're going to do that, do it as early as possible because the face changes.
That's what I said.
That's, that's what I said.
It would be so early.
You wouldn't just want totally different.
Cause I feel like if you've invested the time in listening, you should get to see honestly, I mean, I'm not joking around.
(55:27):
If you're going to take photos right away, do it, do it within the first couple of days because within a week you don't even know what you're doing.
It's a totally different.
Honestly, one of the things, I don't think I've mentioned this, but this was another very generous gift from Kelly's brother and his wife.
They got us a gift certificate for a baby photo shoot.
(55:47):
So we have like a portrait.
Like I was like, what is that?
A thing used to do so many photos with babies.
Yeah.
We used to go, we used to go, I know one place was at the mall.
They had this thing and we have, I think we've taken both of them.
It was so cool.
We would.
Oh yeah.
No, you're going to do all that stuff.
We have one picture.
Oh my God.
I'll say this before we go.
(56:09):
They put babies in different scenarios, right?
Right.
There was one.
They put the baby in a hatched egg.
Like a Robinson.
The yolk was like a towel or something.
Okay.
And for the longest time we told, I believe it was Nicholas that that's how you babies are born.
(56:32):
We even have the picture to prove it.
He was born in his head.
So we used to take those photos so much and we loved it.
That's awesome.
Didn't they used to put baby announcements in the paper, like wedding with the baby pictures.
Did they do that?
Or am I just, am I making that up?
(56:53):
They used to do wedding announcements.
I think that's the thing that would do babies too.
Anyway, we gave you another five minutes of nonsense.
Yeah.
I guess that maybe, maybe you'll see the picture.
Maybe not.
We don't know.
I'm pulling for you guys to be able to see it.
I think if you've invested the time, yeah, you should get it.
But they can think we're lying about the whole thing.
(57:14):
There's no way that guy's a father.
You're just having new puppies.
That's it.
He's just buying a bunch of babies with all those damn books you read about dogs.
Some creepy guy hanging around the baby department at Target.
Frank's not even married.
We need to say this guy.
Frank's been single and I'm, I need help.
I've been locked in this basement for 18 episodes.
(57:35):
Carlos locked in my basement.
He's just trying to earn his way out.
Okay.
Thank you for sticking with us again.
And, uh, and we will see you next week.
Well folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of our future adventures.
(58:02):
And while you're at it, give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using.
Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life or even when normal people do it, email us at g h d c.podcast at gmail.com.
(58:23):
We'd love to hear from you.
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
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