October 29, 2024 • 50 mins
In the inaugural episode of "The Gray Hair & Daycare Podcast," hosts Frank (55) and Carlo (56) embark on a journey through the uncharted territory of late-in-life parenthood. Frank, a first-time father, expresses his excitement and anxieties about the upcoming life changes. Carlo, a seasoned dad with two grown sons, offers support and a wealth of advice.
They discuss the challenges of parenting at an older age, including the physical demands and the need to adapt to a new generation.
The episode concludes with a discussion of the podcast's structure and recurring segments, including "Check Please" (tracking baby expenses), "Book Report" (reviewing parenting books), "The Dadabase" (interviews with parents from diverse backgrounds), "Crash Test Daddy" (product reviews), and a potential segment on fitness and the "Diaper Diet."
Frank also shares his passion for music and his plans to record lullabies f
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
This is the Gray Hair and Day Care Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ in that same range, your hosts Frank Cerio and Carlo Russo.
I am Frank Cerio.
I am 55 years old and my wife is currently 18 weeks pregnant with our first child.
(00:34):
First child for her and for me.
And I am here with my friend Carlo Russo.
Hello.
And obviously we want the podcast to, well really I want the podcast because I'm, I'm terrified.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
(00:56):
You just want me here.
I just, he's going to be like my, my little blue blankie.
I have, I've always wanted to be a father.
I always wanted a family.
It had just never worked out until, until now.
But obviously it's a huge, a huge lifestyle change and, and lots to learn.
(01:16):
And as excited as I am, as soon as I thought about it, as soon as I said, Oh, okay, this is happening.
I thought Carlo would be a great, a great resource.
Having seen, having seen him kind of go through everything, go through life with, yeah.
(01:38):
It's kind of, you know, I want to do it because I want help.
I also think what has been interesting for me is as I started to look and try to learn, there are these groups, I've joined these groups on Facebook, on social media, and I see the questions that are being asked and the answers.
(01:58):
And there is a desperate need for guidance, for good content, right?
Like the, the questions are scary.
The answers are worse.
It is terrifying.
So I really want the podcast to become something that is interactive where people can email us and comment and ask questions and give advice because I'm going to be able to learn from that.
(02:24):
And hopefully we're going to be able to help people because there's so much to think about, but yeah.
So from your perspective, what do you think about this project?
This was cool.
I do a lot of this kind of stuff in my regular job.
My other job, whatever you want to call it.
So the minute Frank came up to me and said that he had this idea, I was absolutely in.
(02:48):
I think the idea of what we're trying to do is going to help a lot of people.
A little backstory of me, Carlo Russo, father of two, married for 26 years.
My kids are at this point doing this, 23, and my youngest is going to be 18 in about a week and a half.
I was also scared when my wife told me we were expecting our first, even though I was, you know, 30 something, I felt older at that time.
(03:20):
I know a lot of people our age had their kids probably in their late twenties.
I was hitting 33 ish, 34, and I felt old.
So obviously what Frank's going to go through is going to be totally different, but the same as they say, age is just a number.
(03:40):
Yes.
You get more tired.
You, you and the baby both need a nap or change the diapers, both of you.
So we want to do this so we can, like Frank said, both learn because there's always a learning moment.
You're never like, okay, I'm a professional.
I'm done.
I don't need to learn anything more about parenting.
(04:01):
That's foolish.
We're always going to learn.
Can't wait to hear from you guys.
And we also want to throw this out to not just older guys.
We want to throw this out to couples, single parents, people that I know you were talking about.
We have friends in common that I've had their children at a regular age, let's say, and now they're a father or mother of a three year old or four year old, you know?
(04:26):
So we're going to get into that as well, which is a little different from where we're at.
As you said, obviously this is your first, but we have some people our age that have their grown kids and then there have babies or two, three year olds.
I think that's the thing that's going to be cool is to get different perspective, blended families, people who have done it that have kids out of college and still then getting into school.
(04:52):
Right.
And I think, you know, from my perspective, I think too, it's, we are a completely different generation, right?
Like when you look, I was looking it up and seeing the average when I should have been having kids was a dad and a mom.
The average was 27 years old.
Yep.
That was for a first time kid.
(05:14):
Now, fast forward to now people who are having their first kid now, for some reason, the age of the woman has not changed.
Mom's average is still right in that 27 range, but father's that's 30 made women are starting to prefer older men.
Right.
I don't know what it is.
That's kind of where we are, but we kind of, we've worked together for years and years and we worked in different retail environments.
(05:38):
And what, what I did was always that kind of retail operations.
Now I work in a location based entertainment and with that kind of work over the years, I have gotten older and my employees have stayed the same age, right?
I get older and they're, they just, yeah, it's like, cause it's usually, it's like a starter job.
And, and when you think about it, I've watched the differences with these generations and hopefully, and I come from even more of a throwback.
(06:07):
My parents were old, like I was a late in life baby for them.
Right.
So it's very, I think we can bring a different perspective.
Uh, we're, I was just watching the other day, Bill Maher talked about how we need a return of the trad dad, the traditional father.
Right.
And I think I'm going to be, I'm going to be much more like that than, uh, you know, then probably an average guy now at 55.
(06:34):
Right.
I mean, at, at, at 27 and now 30, you might not know who you are quite, you know, at that point, 55, 56, you know, what you can get away with, you know, what you can, uh, um, what you can handle, what you can handle, what you can, um, you know, whatever.
You just know yourself a lot better.
(06:56):
So you're going to be a little bit more conservative because we're older.
Yeah.
You know, if I had a kid at 25, who knows how I would raise them compared to it, you know, at 55, when I think back, it's like, there's different lifetimes, right.
Between, between when I should've had a kid and now I'm not the same person.
I'm not even close to the same person as I was.
(07:18):
We've had different planets.
We lived in different plans.
So may I ask you this?
When did you, when did you feel or realize that you, you want to be a parent or you needed to be a parent?
Cause I know for me, I knew if I got married, the next thing would be have kids.
Um, but I don't know if I, you 18, 15 going, I'm going to be a dad one day.
(07:44):
Right.
Um, did you have that moment?
Did you have something that said, I have to be a dad.
I, I need to be a dad or I'm not going to be a dad, or this is not going to happen.
I don't know.
I mean, it was always a part of the, I think it was always a part of, you know, a part of life that I looked forward to.
And I always said again, with, with my parents being older, I wanted, I didn't want to be the old dad.
(08:07):
Right.
Um, right.
Like I remember from, so my, my dad was 47 and I remember, and we've, I've told you the story before I was in my backyard with my friend Brian and we were little like, you know, kindergarten, first, first grade age.
And my dad came home from work and Brian looks and he goes in the house and Brian looks at me and goes, why does your grandpa live with you?
(08:32):
And I'm like, what do you, and I, it was in that moment.
I'm like, oh yeah, my dad's older than everybody else's dad.
My mom was older.
And, uh, you know, I always want, now I'm eight years past that with my first one.
My father was 47 for his last one.
He was my brother.
My brother was born in 1950.
So my dad was 28 for his first, which is 47 for his last.
(08:57):
So, you know, with that, you know, your child male or female is going to probably maybe one day have that same experience going, Hey, why is your grandpa dropping you off to school?
Yeah.
Um, what do you think about that?
Because you went through that, that feeling that, what do you think your son or daughter is going to be?
(09:19):
No, no matter what that is like, it won't be as bad as when the guy that's fitting you for a tux says to your test, to your wife, you want your husband, you want your father to look good.
Which I don't think I've ever told you that, but that did happen.
And my, my beautiful wife, completely, completely, completely composed was like, that's my husband.
(09:46):
But cause she, she looks younger than, than she, than she is.
And I guess we need your dad to look good too.
You know, you want your dad to look good.
My husband too.
So, so in facing that with my daughter or son, I got to believe, you know, it'll be okay.
I know I can see it coming.
I know it's going to happen and, and that, and that's okay.
(10:09):
And it's interesting because I look, you look at what we thought was old.
Yeah.
Right.
And I see these pictures of TV stars.
When we were, when we were watching, when we were kids watching TV and red Fox from Sanford and son, he was 48.
Right.
When they made that show, I thought he was a hundred years old.
(10:31):
Bob Hope was probably like 46 years old.
All these people.
I'm like, all of the golden girls were younger than us right now.
And I'm like, what the hell's going on?
So, so it's, it's a, it's okay.
But yeah, I think that's going to be, you know, part of it.
As crazy as that is even, even with us, my wife and I, we weren't obviously in our fifties, but we were in our mid to later thirties.
(10:55):
And by the time we got to school with the kids and everybody realized their friends, parents were 10 years younger than us.
I mean, we were 39, they were 29, you know?
And that's a gap.
Oh yeah.
So I even felt it in people.
And that's a big 10 years from 20 to 30.
Right, right, right, right.
Like that's not, that's not a little, there wasn't, I mean, at that time there wasn't any graze or anything like that where people go, that's your grandparents, but you could feel the difference going, Oh, that's your parents.
(11:24):
Like, they're not like my parents, you know?
Um, so, but again, I still say what we know now at 55 years old, starting this, you are so much further than, than I think someone at 25, 35.
Um, and you've seen a lot of, I mean, you have nephew nieces.
(11:47):
I mean, you've seen it all.
And like you said, you've seen my life.
You've, we've known each other since we were kids and we went through life together.
I mean, there's gaps of time that we weren't, but we pick up right where we left off and you see the, you know, the marriage and the kids and this stuff.
So, and hopefully this journey will be helpful for you and myself because I'm still a parent.
(12:12):
I'm still a parent of a, you know, 18 year old to be a 23 year old.
They're never, you're never going to be, they're never going to be old enough for you to go.
Okay.
I punch out.
Okay.
I'm good now.
I'm done now.
They're always, you're going to be 90 years old and still worry about the same thing.
Are you going to drive?
Call me when you get there.
I'm 57.
(12:33):
It's funny because watching my siblings, my, my one sister doesn't have any children.
My other sister has, has two.
And then my brother has, has two and watching kind of the different parenting styles and, and, and how they are now with their adult children.
And yeah, it's, it's an interesting thing to see.
So, so tell us more, more about like your story, your back, your family, your, okay.
(12:57):
So I come from, I guess the, let's say traditional American dream scenario.
I was born in Italy.
I came here in the seventies, my mom and dad, traditional family, mom and dad, and my older brother and myself, we came over, moved to this area, haven't really left in 50 plus years.
(13:23):
Do you know why, why did, why Syracuse?
Why did your family end up?
So we're based in Syracuse, outside of Syracuse.
At the time, Syracuse had a lot of industries, factories, jobs.
My, my mom's brother and sister immigrated to New York city.
Once Syracuse with all the, you know, Chrysler jam and all that stuff and just factories, people were making some money and they just moved where the money was.
(13:50):
They wanted to get out of, I think the city.
That makes sense.
And, you know, as they, you know, compared to New York city, this is the suburbs, the country actually.
And I think that's, that's where they settled.
And they, you know, they, they, yeah, they got their families.
So when we came over, uh, mom, dad, older brother, myself, old school.
(14:10):
And when I say old school, the traditional dad goes to work.
Mom was home.
Uh, when we were younger, when we got a little older, she started working at this company that made suits.
She was a seamstress.
My dad, all old Italian ladies in my family worked at work there.
Exactly.
I mean, you say the word in Syracuse of the place, everybody knows it.
(14:33):
Uh, and my father, he was a carpenter or a woods, a woodworker.
He came a casket maker.
I always see.
That isn't a euphemism.
He didn't kill people.
He did a Sicilian.
Yeah.
That's so in my, in my regular job, that's one of my jokes.
I say is a Sicilian that makes caskets.
You, you can put the joke anywhere you want.
(14:54):
Either way, it's going to work out for him.
So, uh, he was, my dad was, um, probably like your dad.
He showed his love in different ways by, um, I'm going to go to work, small things, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to go to work.
I'm going to have a house and provide a warm house for you guys.
(15:17):
I am going to have food on the table.
I'm not going to cook it, but I'm going to provide it.
And, um, and that's it.
Don't ever get in trouble because, uh, you're going to be stuck in jail.
Cause I won't get you.
He's that kind of guy.
Very, you know, you know what he's giving.
And I always thought as a child that he was a angry man and he didn't quite like us, love us.
(15:41):
I don't know what word you want to use.
As I grew up, as I get older, obviously I know my dad loves us and that's what he knew how to provide.
That's what he knew what to do as a father.
As I said, he probably had less than what he gave us.
Right.
Yeah.
So as an older gentleman, I realized he did exactly what he thought he was going to do correctly.
(16:05):
Um, as a result, and I think he did pretty well.
And my mom, traditional mom, again, the cooking, the cleaning.
And then, like I said, she would go to work.
So the funny thing is at 40, my mom had my younger brother.
So in this weird way, we're talking about my brother now is going to be 50 years old.
(16:25):
So that's 50 years ago, you know, 40 year olds were having babies, of course.
So this is not new what you're doing, but at the same time, very new for you.
So, um, maybe this would give you some comfort that even without technology that they had 50 years ago and all this information and all this, you know, thing people were doing it.
(16:52):
So you're way ahead.
You're going to have technology and books and people and, and family and all that good stuff.
And I don't think you worry about that, right?
I don't think what is your worry?
The biggest thing, like right now, I'm going to be a father, right?
What is your main thing that you go at night and go, Oh, I got to do this.
(17:16):
You know, there's, there's lots of the things that I think about immediately are number one, just the kind of the physical challenges of it, right?
Like I'm 55, I'm not 25, running around with a kid, they're going to all rolling around on the floor, uh, like doing all that.
So I think about, I think about that stuff and, and just generally, I think I, you know, it's one of those things I have always, I don't know why, but even as a kid, I always understood.
(17:47):
I always thought I didn't, I never understood.
My mom didn't work like yours.
She, she, she stayed home.
I never understood why women wanted to work because it always seemed very apparent to me that a mother has the most impact on people's lives in the long run.
How could you, what, what job is more important than that?
(18:12):
And so, so I've always, when you break it down, like you are shaping the next generation of humans, like there's nothing more important than that.
So for me, I seeing a mother that way as a father, I just want to do a good job, right?
I know I spent as many people, I'm sure do when you, when you leave home, I left home at 18.
(18:36):
When you leave home, you think that your family is uniquely screwed up.
Like you were the only ones that are messed up.
Right.
And then you meet people and you find out, Oh no, everybody is.
And then you get older and you realize, Oh, my crazy was the good crazy compared to what else is out there.
So that, that, that perspective, but basically it's just, I want to do a good job and, and I want, you know, and thinking about just, I just want to be a good, I want to be a good parent.
(19:07):
That's all.
And I want, I want to, I want to do better.
Just like you said with your dad, your dad did the best he could and did a good job.
He had a, he had a paradigm that this is what a father does.
And he did it.
You have having experienced the other, the business end of that fatherhood, you came up with your paradigm and you lived up to that.
(19:29):
And, and how we come up with that is a little of going to the past.
Okay.
As a child, as a young adult, what was I lacking from my parents with my either dad, my mom, um, what, what did I need more?
What did I need less?
Uh, what worked, what didn't.
And you come up with your own strategy of what your ideal father is or parenting is.
(19:54):
Uh, so without that, a lot of people, you think like, Oh my God, why'd I have to go through that?
You have to go through that bad, good and different.
You have to, so you know what makes you comfortable?
It makes you thrive.
What makes you, what makes you, that's what makes you, but you were saying something about worrying at your age.
And again, this doesn't apply for everybody, but for you, a big thing, when I became a father for the first time, my fear was providing, am I at a job that I'm going to be, you know, happy with, able to take care of, able to take care of it.
(20:31):
Are we financially set at the time?
I did not own a house.
We were in my parents home.
I was going to be a father.
I was 30 some odd years old, 33, 34.
So buying a house, having life insurance, all that stuff is on my shoulders.
And I think you're walking into that without that.
(20:52):
We have a completely, we're very lucky.
We are in a completely different place than that.
We don't have to, none of that is even a thought, right?
We can, we don't have to, I don't have to think about those things.
You know, my wife has her own career and I have mine.
We were set for in that, in those ways.
But I say that because you're in that situation and that's going to work or not work.
(21:18):
You're going to have other, but I don't want people listening to this going, well, yeah, great.
He's got, listen, I didn't and it worked out.
So if you're in my scenario, you could still come to this 20 years later.
I own my own house.
I have kids in college and both paths can lead to where we're at right now.
So that's why I also want to tell people that are listening that are 25, 35 and don't have what you have getting into it.
(21:43):
And honestly, like I've seen that, like I see it now with some, with, with a lot of people, you know, in my extended family, friends, I'm more concerned.
We talk about it already.
We see not having to worry about a lot of those things is a trap in itself, right?
(22:05):
When it comes to a kid, when like that is one of the things I truly believe, like growing up, we didn't have a lot of money.
Uh, like I wasn't, you know, there's always food on the table and things like that.
You were clean, but yeah, that's it.
But like, but I didn't get the Atari when everybody got the Atari.
Right.
I didn't have those things.
(22:27):
But the fact is when I look back at the kids who did, it wasn't a good thing.
Right.
Like I, I grew up with a very healthy focus on the future because that's where the goods for me, that's where the good stuff was.
And I've known people that they had that, they had that childhood that was like a TV show.
(22:51):
They had it and they spend the rest of their lives talking about and wanting to recapture that moment when they were 17 and got their first car.
And they got to keep that going.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They got to keep that expectation going of how I grew up.
And that's a tough thing to, like, we don't have far to go from where we grew up.
(23:14):
Right.
There's one thing that I do want to pass on to a child is the feeling that I am, I've always, no matter what, you know, look, you get older, things hurt, you experience aging and in the way that everybody does.
But in my head, because of the way I was raised and because I was always thinking about the future, I always think my best days are ahead of me.
(23:40):
Right.
I always do.
Yeah.
And I think I never look, I, I am not, I'm with you.
Yeah.
I'm not like member of high school.
No, no, no.
That was then.
Yeah, it was great in its way.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But my best is in front of me.
And I think that a lot of times to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
And your best is what you created.
(24:01):
It is.
That's a huge thing.
Right.
Like I'm going to be able to, yeah, look at that.
Like now I'm not thinking about, well, I'm going to retire.
No, I'm thinking about I got to live 30 years.
It doesn't become about you anymore.
Right.
And that's the thing that we want to with this.
And I think we're going to go into why we're doing this and how this is going to look as a podcast.
(24:24):
But it's not you.
And when you when when you're single, even married with no kids, it's still about you, you and your wife, our vacations, our home.
Once you have that child.
And I think a lot of people do get into the let's get a dog first, because you have to realize there's got to be another.
You know, there's going to be something else.
You got to keep a living thing that you have to keep alive.
(24:44):
And I think pets is great with that because it takes you outside of yourself going, oh, I got to feed.
I got to walk.
I got to.
And then a child, obviously that much bigger.
But that's what you're going to realize.
And I think you already have.
It's not about me anymore.
It's not about me.
I think that's one of those things that most people, because they do it so much younger.
I don't think I knew I wasn't past at twenty seven.
(25:07):
I wasn't past myself yet.
Right.
Right.
I love I loved me.
Exactly.
Right.
What you should write.
That's why you did what you did.
But I think that's people typically learn.
I hope I want to say that you could ask my wife and she can tell she can tell you whether I'm right or not.
I think over the years, not being a parent, but just figuring out life that I figured out how to love somebody else.
(25:30):
Right.
The way you should.
Right.
But I think for most people, becoming a parent is how they figure that out, because there is this immediate like, oh, it's OK.
It's it's there.
Here it is.
All of a sudden that flips that switch.
And some people don't figure it out.
And that's why, unfortunately, you have you have people that I grew up with tougher times.
(25:52):
And yeah, because their parent didn't figure it out.
Right.
Their parents still has a selfish mode even when they had the kids.
Yeah.
So and we welcome them as well, because hopefully we are, you know, we're all kind of like misfits at the same time because, you know, nobody's perfect.
Before we get into our structure, I really there's a story that you told me that kind of brought you to a time.
(26:19):
My family, very much like yours, where it's, you know, except a generation removed.
So my grandparents emigrated.
They came here to this part of the like to this part of New York because it was farms.
Right.
They were from the mountains.
They were farmers and they knew like they they could get sure that's how they got jobs.
They worked on farms.
My grandfather was end up being he was a shoemaker.
(26:42):
He found his way.
My grandmother came along and and that's kind of how it happened, how my family ended up here.
Right.
First generation Americans.
But my parents grew up during the Depression.
Very austere, very hard life.
My my my mom, I never knew it growing up, but hearing now stories from my cousins on that side of the family, my mom had a much harder childhood than than I than I was ever aware of when she was alive.
(27:12):
She had a very my mother was a sweet, sweet woman.
And she she was just a big kid.
And she really.
Oh, she was.
She was.
She had the most childlike.
Oh, that's personality.
She really was.
She loved.
She loved Christmas.
She loves springtime.
Is that in you?
I hope you have a little.
I hope so.
(27:33):
You love.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah.
Like, I think I've stayed 12 in my head my whole my whole life.
Like, I didn't get much further than that.
They got a little bit.
But she was.
Yeah, she was.
She was a wonderful woman.
And she I think she talked about the wonder like with Christmas.
She knew her parents.
(27:53):
There was no way she believed wholeheartedly in Santa Claus because she knew her parents didn't have any money.
Right.
I fall into that as well.
But somehow that work.
Right.
So she and she.
She kept that.
That's why she was always 12.
Yeah.
So so she she she had that stuff.
But my mom and dad, I'm one of four siblings.
(28:14):
My brother's the oldest.
He's 19 years older than me.
I was I always joke and say I was a failure of the rhythm method of birth control.
I was I was a surprise.
But my mom was 40, 42, I think, when she had me in in 1969.
For me, I think the story start.
(28:34):
The story of being a dad for me kind of starts now.
15 years ago, 14 years ago, I got divorced.
I remember I was at work and I was working at an electronic store called Ultimate Electronics, which is now gone.
And I came out of the mall, out of the out of the store, into the mall to go to lunch.
(28:56):
And there was a mother and her little boy walking.
And I kind of turned the corner in front of them.
So they were following me and I could but I could hear a woman was on on her phone and it became evident as she's talking.
She's talking to her husband and I hear her say, we're walking along.
This was within days after breaking up with my ex.
(29:18):
OK.
And, you know, still very raw, not really knowing what was going on.
And I'm listening and I hear her say, hold on.
And I hear the little boy say, hi, daddy.
And I went, that was it.
Like I started I started crying in the I'm in the middle of the mall.
(29:40):
Where I have worked off and on and I'm like, you know, anybody, everybody who knows me.
I've been around and I'm just crying, tears running down my face because thank goodness years later now my ex is married, has children, is in a great place.
You're both in the right.
I think she's very happy.
I'm very happy at the time.
(30:01):
But at the time, what was hard, the hardest thing about that breakup was I thought that was over.
Like that was just like, OK, I might meet a girl, I might get married again.
But at that age, like I'm in my early 40s.
Yeah.
I'm not going to I'm never going to have a kid.
And that was super hard.
(30:22):
And I didn't realize how hard it was.
You know, I moved on, it was a year after about a year, started dating again.
I think I had set that aside and then I met my I met my wife, got married seven years ago.
And here we are.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like time goes by.
So here it is.
(30:44):
Then we're trying and we had our challenges.
And now, oh, here it is.
We're going to have a baby.
The end game is here.
And I and it was in that moment.
It was like I always said, oh, I knew it was a possibility.
You know, I was younger.
She wanted that.
We didn't she didn't have any children.
We both want it.
(31:04):
It was always part of the plan.
We tried, had some challenges.
Now here it is.
And I thought to myself, oh, the only experience I could I could tie it to was it was like somebody walked up and said, hey, your mom, no, she's alive.
Right.
I guarantee she was gone.
You know, she's like, yeah, and also buried it.
(31:26):
Yeah, it was it was that was never even though I knew it was possible and we were trying and all that, then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm allowed to actually think about all of those things.
Yeah.
And it was, it was a wonderful, you know, it was a wonderful moment.
And that, that was the first moment where I'm like, oh yeah, no, this is real.
(31:49):
Like I'm going to have to, I'm not, I'm going to get to do all those things and I got to figure all this stuff out.
And then I thought I got to call Carl.
And that's what I think is the, the unique opportunity here as number one, I like to learn by input from lots of people, right?
And what better way to get input from a lot of people than to do something like this with somebody who look, when I saw, I think we had a very similar experience with our dads and seeing you.
(32:22):
And I think it was just, we were out on a, out on the boat.
Your boys were with us and seeing and hearing you say, I love you.
To your sons.
And it was like, oh, that's how that, that's how that, like my dad said, I love you one time and, and, and in my whole life, you got one more than I did.
And so it's one zero.
(32:44):
So it's still, it's still a close race, but it's hard when you think about it.
So, but seeing that and understand, oh, like this is, that's how it can be.
Right.
Cause you're no pushover.
I saw how you were with them.
Hey, there could be both of those things.
I had both of those things, but in my mother who told me she loved me and I knew she meant it and my father, who showed in different ways, but who I learned other things from.
(33:11):
And so, so in thinking about this and then the opportunity to capture it, right.
To, to do something like this, you were the first person I thought that I would want to do what I would want to do it with, but I really like, I want it to be something that, first of all, I just want to share kind of what the experience week by week, right?
We have this opportunity it's happening now.
(33:34):
Right.
And, and every week there is something happening now every week is there's something new and I'm, and as it's happening, I'm like, I wish we were already recording, right?
Cause we're, hopefully we're going to catch up to real, real time very quickly.
And, and as I experienced it, I can, I can share it, but also I know it's going to kick off memories for you.
I'm going to say, guess what happened?
(33:55):
And you're going to have a story.
And at the same time, I want people to be able to ask questions and kind of join in the experience and learn from it.
It's important because, yeah, I mean, obviously we think we're very interesting, but, um, we need, you know, we need you guys to, uh, be part of this.
There's going to be questions that we don't have because maybe we didn't grow up that way where a viewer said, oh, my, in my family, we did this or my, you know, my father wasn't, it wasn't absent.
(34:26):
Um, how do I become a dad when I never had a dad, they might come into here and go, okay, even though we had our fathers with us, it wasn't the same as maybe my friend's fathers, or I really want that to be this podcast.
I want it to be something that someone can come on there at 24, having their first child or at 54 or at 64.
(34:47):
It's someone we can all, it's like one of those rooms where people have their meetings and they go, yes, I'm Carlo Russo.
And I have blah, blah, blah, blah.
I want this to be like, Hey, I got to, you know, I just experienced in this.
Have you guys ever done this?
Have this ever happened to you?
How did you get out of this scenario?
What do I do?
And if we have that answer, we'll answer it.
If not, we'll find it out.
(35:09):
And that's what I really would like on that.
And we, we came up with some fun ways to get through this.
I think thinking about subjects that we talk about every time, right.
So what just happened that we wanted to, like, I think what just happened, we're going to do that and it's going to be whatever happened that week, right?
(35:29):
Coming up in two weeks will be like the big, the scan that they go over all the anatomy, make sure all the parts and pieces are in the right place, all that stuff.
So that's coming up in a couple of weeks.
As those things happen, that's what, yeah, that that's what it'll be.
The other thing too, is we're thinking about and planning, which I think is going to be a lot of fun is check, please.
(35:51):
I'd like to check, please is going to be essentially, I already have the list of this, what we're spent.
I've already, there's a spreadsheet.
I don't want to scare any.
What is my vision of this is I'm going to give my kid when they graduate high school, a bill itemized of everything I spent.
So I'm just going to track every expense, every book, every like, the only thing I'm going to leave out is that we're spending some money on now is maternity.
(36:19):
I don't think that's fair.
My wife needs, you give your wife that bill.
That's right.
She can, she, she, she can take care of that.
Uh, so we're going to do check please, which I think is going to be fun.
I mean, and again, we do that.
That part is a little humorous.
I mean, that's, you know, it's, it's, but it's all, it's real, man.
It's also, you got to think about it's amazing because everything we were looking like bassinets, right.
(36:44):
And you know, you can get a bassinet for a hundred dollars, $150.
And then I'm getting pushed ads in social media.
This one, it's like, wow, look at this thing.
It looks like something out of the bottom of like a space movie.
It's like $1,500 for a bassinet.
I jokingly tell my wife and she has a friend, they live out of state.
She is one week ahead of my wife, but with her fourth.
(37:07):
Okay.
And so they got together, they were visiting.
My wife comes home and I'm like, Oh, Hey, how, how is she's telling me all about it?
You know, that, that, the bassinet.
Yeah.
She rented one for her first and second, and she wishes she bought it.
So now I'm like, okay, so now we're in like the thousand dollar bass.
(37:28):
So we're going to keep a tally, right?
It's going to be here.
Ridiculous, but it'll be, it'll be fun.
And I think it'll be, you know, at a slightly education.
And again, this is Frank's scenario.
Look, there's, I think we should talk about everything low, medium, high price, wherever, and then whatever, wherever we land and we're going to talk more about that stuff too.
(37:51):
So there's, there's check, please.
The next one is book report.
I already have a stack.
Oh, I'm in my second, I'm already in my second book on how to introduce the baby to the dogs.
Important.
Right.
I didn't have to deal with that.
I don't have, I never dog.
So yes, it is.
And we're, we're working on it.
(38:12):
And the first book was pretty, I liked the first book a lot.
Second book, a little more tactical.
And what was cool about it is it comes with a link.
You can download baby sounds and you play, you get, and it goes through step-by-step.
So I will do occasionally.
I'll spend a few minutes and I'll talk about the book.
I'll give you the link.
Play the dog.
(38:33):
You can play them and see how I have the floppy ears and the collar for you, but so, so, and there's, I got a stack of books.
To read a book report.
I like that.
I think we're going to do book report.
I like that idea.
The other one that I think is going to be a lot of fun is the database, the database.
I want to be able to talk to people that we know that are, have different perspectives, blended family, dads, dads who did, you know, we have one friend, Jeff, who has a daughter that's out of college and a daughter that's just going in elementary school.
(39:09):
Right.
So I think having a segment where we talk to those people and I get advice from them and perspectives and stories.
Cause I don't, I can't give you advice for that.
I don't have a college and a baby.
So people like that.
Uh, we also have another friend named Dave that will be on here.
Yeah.
It's going through the same thing.
So that's going to be interesting.
(39:30):
I think it'll be fun for both of us.
Yep.
Yeah, absolutely.
So we have, so the data, the database, the next one, we're going to call crash test.
Daddy.
It's the prop.
It's going to be all the products.
There are so many things.
Eddie Bauer, $2,000 stroller.
I remember when I, when we first had our child and people who had that, we were looking at, at that time, toys, kids or us or whatever it was, the prices get.
(39:53):
Oh, it's ridiculous.
The thing that's honestly is disappointing right now is there used to be those babies are us, but that doesn't exist anymore.
Everything's on Amazon.
That, and now, you know what I've noticed a little bit in the weeds there, the apartment stores are putting these stores within their stores.
Yep.
And I believe right now could be wrong.
(40:16):
Coles has now babies are us or kids are us is back in.
Oh, really?
I want to look at it.
So Coles is one we haven't been to.
We've been to target and walking up and down those aisles.
And it's, so that'll be fun.
So, and there's a million different products, all different ages.
We can test them.
We can test them.
We can do that stuff.
So I think it'll be, that'll be fun.
This is one I haven't talked to you about, but we talked a little bit about fitness.
(40:41):
Here's the goal.
I started a couple of weeks ago.
I need to lose weight.
Okay.
So my goal is that as Kelly gains weight, I'm going to try to lose it.
Right.
So I'm down a couple of pounds.
She's up a few pounds.
Maybe call this the scales of injustice, some of the debt, the diaper diet.
I don't know what we're going to call it, but I think I'm going to, every once in a while, I'll check in and tell you, cause it'll be good for me from an accountability standpoint.
(41:07):
Yeah.
So we have the freshman 15.
Is it maybe we can, the father, the father, we can come up with a name because there is that freshman 50.
And I'm telling him when my wife was, I got pregnant for our first and second, um, daddy gained weight.
Oh yeah.
Daddy gained weight.
I'm sorry to say.
Um, I can see how that would happen.
And that was before DoorDash.
Yeah.
(41:27):
We were, we were dashing to the ice cream shop.
Um, and then they have cravings.
I don't know if, uh, she has craving jet.
No, not, not really any, any cravings per se.
So that's a good thing.
You're going to keep yourself in check.
I want to try to, I want to try it.
Like literally if I could drop.
And I know this guy you've done.
(41:48):
I'm good at putting on weight and I'm good at losing it too.
So I've been trying to make some adjustments down.
I'm down like three or four pounds and I'm going to keep pushing on it.
And then maybe one that we might do once in a while is the worry of the week.
Like, what is the thing that I wake up in the middle of the night?
And we kind of said, you know, we kind of, kind of flashed into that, like not having financial, but there's going to be so many other stuff and that could also be a worry that somebody, somebody sends in, right?
(42:15):
Like, this is what I'm, this is what I'm going through.
There might be a segment for people to come.
Heck yeah.
Uh, that could be, that can be as well.
And then one of the other things I want to figure out how to do, and I I'm excited about is I've always been involved in music.
I love to play.
I love singing the idea of singing lullabies to my kid.
(42:37):
That'd be awesome.
And I can't wait to do that.
You told me about an idea that you wanted to do with the podcast.
I think it's cool.
The, I think I, I'm what I want to try to do is find, I'm going to record lullabies.
Some of them are just straight up lullabies.
Some of them, there's so many songs in the great American songbook that are romantic songs, but with a little tweak, you can absolutely see singing as a lullaby.
(43:02):
So I'm experimenting with those.
I, well, knowing that I love the way you sing and play, I think that's a great idea.
Um, and yeah, no, it'll be, it'll be fun for you.
Yeah.
She had an idea this morning, which I think is a good idea.
She's like, why don't you do brackets?
I'm like, what do you mean?
And she's like, well, you know how they do with, with, yeah.
(43:24):
But that way there's a way for people, for, for people who listen to the podcast to weigh in.
So I'll put one out and then another one out and we'll have them compete for the best.
And then people can submit ideas too.
We don't have to do 64.
No, we can start with eight and have, have two by two.
(43:44):
We'll vote and we can have like the ultimate lullaby contest.
I thought that was kind of a fun idea.
Okay.
Of, um, a lullaby that you created or that's already out there.
And then we can have people, you get to, you get to sing it or, or I think I'll, I'll do one of each and then people can vote on which one they like, which one they like the best and we'll see what the ultimate lullaby is.
(44:09):
But I like that idea too.
We'll get our fan base and then we'll throw that out there.
That's awesome.
I think that it could be fun.
The more interaction we have and input and ideas and feedback, the better it'll be.
It has to be.
We want this to be about you guys.
Yes.
He's experienced it.
We're already going to gain what we want to gain out of this talking.
We want you guys to join us.
(44:31):
We want you guys to be part of this.
We need your input.
We need your, we need your help as well.
So what do you think, what do you look forward to most?
I'm really excited for both of us to learn, learn about what this is, what this, what parenting is.
(44:51):
Like I just said, watching you and I've, I've known you, we were 18 years old.
We're now in our mid fifties.
I always knew that you, you know what you want, you know how to get there and you succeed.
And I always thought, God, if he could be a dad, he would be awesome because we grew up the same way with our fathers and what we were lacking from them and what we wanted from them.
(45:15):
And then we realized all the good things we got from them.
I thought that he's going to take that and run kind of like what I did.
So I, I'm really, I really want to see you growing into this thing that I've always thought you were going to be is a great father.
You've always proven to me that, you know, you're a great friend and then you get married.
(45:40):
You're a great husband.
I was his best man.
I mean, we've done this.
This is not something that we just picked up and overnight and said, oh, let's, you know, we have a whole life together.
So that's what I, I'm excited about seeing where this goes for both of us.
And for people that are watching going, you know what?
I started watching them and I was scared and I was, um, not even scared.
(46:03):
I wasn't, I wasn't knowledgeable or I'm in that situation.
I'm 50 something years old.
I'm shitting my pants and I got to this podcast and I realized, oh, I'm not the only one.
Yep.
Like you said, when you were growing up and going, oh wait, I wasn't the only kid that grew up this way.
There's other people.
So that's what I want this to go to.
(46:23):
It's kind of like a fun guide for everybody.
And, um, I want to learn too.
I think very much the same for me.
I'm excited for two things.
The first thing is the biggest advantage of doing this now for me is I don't care as much as I once did about how people, what people think.
(46:45):
Right.
Right.
That that's, that's not so important to me anymore.
So I think I can approach this and be a lot more transparent about how scary it is and how, where many years ago walls have come.
Yeah.
Like I know, look, I mean, I know I'm an idiot, right?
Like I know, I know, I don't know everything.
And the more I learn, the more I realize, I don't know.
(47:06):
And the more I tell people I don't know, the more I'll learn because I'm going to figure it out.
That's another thing, working collaboratively with people and working with a lot of people over the years, you can learn from everyone.
So I'm, I'm looking forward to the fact that maybe because I'm a little bit more brave when it comes to sharing all the things that I'm going to screw up, that's going to make somebody else, it's going to help someone.
(47:31):
I'm excited for the day that I'm going to be doing something with this kid.
And I'm going to think, Oh, that guy in Iowa said, right.
And I'm going to try it and it's going to work.
I want to learn from the people I do know and love and care about.
And I would also love to learn from, from people that I haven't met yet.
Uh, and, and that's what I'm, that's what I'm looking forward to the most.
(47:52):
Yeah, no, I, I think, and the cool thing too, is you can, how many years down the line, um, you can show your child, like, yeah, this is how I felt.
That's one of the things that I thought of is if I do die, like in the next five years, at least the kid will have something they can look at and go, Oh, okay.
He was going to be good.
(48:13):
He was really, he was going to try.
So gotta give it up to him.
He made a podcast for me.
He did, but, but, but at 56, you're thinking, Oh, if I die, if I, I was thinking of that at 30, so we're all the same.
It doesn't matter how old you are.
The minute you are taking care of something other than yourself, whatever age you are, you want to be there for the longest, as long as you possibly can.
(48:40):
That's it.
Well, then I need to stop eating ice cream.
Yes.
I will eat it for you.
Well, look, thank you for, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you for listening.
Yes.
And we'll get smoother.
We'll get better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll get some, I'm going to edit out all of this stuff.
The arms and eyes and laughs.
And next time we'll talk, we'll start catching up on what happened between week one and week 18.
(49:06):
And, uh, and we'll, uh, we'll go forward from there.
I'd like to see that telly.
See, we'll start off.
We might do check, please.
As the inaugural check, please.
And in episode two, Well, folks, that's the first episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
(49:27):
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
So you don't miss any of our future adventures and while you're at it, give us a like, share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using, have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
(49:55):
We'd love to hear from you.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.
This is the Gray Hair and Day Care Podcast.
With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ in that same range, your hosts Frank Cerio and Carlo Russo.
I am Frank Cerio.
I am 55 years old and my wife is currently 18 weeks pregnant with our first child.
(00:34):
First child for her and for me.
And I am here with my friend Carlo Russo.
Hello.
And obviously we want the podcast to, well really I want the podcast because I'm, I'm terrified.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
(00:56):
You just want me here.
I just, he's going to be like my, my little blue blankie.
I have, I've always wanted to be a father.
I always wanted a family.
It had just never worked out until, until now.
But obviously it's a huge, a huge lifestyle change and, and lots to learn.
(01:16):
And as excited as I am, as soon as I thought about it, as soon as I said, Oh, okay, this is happening.
I thought Carlo would be a great, a great resource.
Having seen, having seen him kind of go through everything, go through life with, yeah.
(01:38):
It's kind of, you know, I want to do it because I want help.
I also think what has been interesting for me is as I started to look and try to learn, there are these groups, I've joined these groups on Facebook, on social media, and I see the questions that are being asked and the answers.
(01:58):
And there is a desperate need for guidance, for good content, right?
Like the, the questions are scary.
The answers are worse.
It is terrifying.
So I really want the podcast to become something that is interactive where people can email us and comment and ask questions and give advice because I'm going to be able to learn from that.
(02:24):
And hopefully we're going to be able to help people because there's so much to think about, but yeah.
So from your perspective, what do you think about this project?
This was cool.
I do a lot of this kind of stuff in my regular job.
My other job, whatever you want to call it.
So the minute Frank came up to me and said that he had this idea, I was absolutely in.
(02:48):
I think the idea of what we're trying to do is going to help a lot of people.
A little backstory of me, Carlo Russo, father of two, married for 26 years.
My kids are at this point doing this, 23, and my youngest is going to be 18 in about a week and a half.
I was also scared when my wife told me we were expecting our first, even though I was, you know, 30 something, I felt older at that time.
(03:20):
I know a lot of people our age had their kids probably in their late twenties.
I was hitting 33 ish, 34, and I felt old.
So obviously what Frank's going to go through is going to be totally different, but the same as they say, age is just a number.
(03:40):
Yes.
You get more tired.
You, you and the baby both need a nap or change the diapers, both of you.
So we want to do this so we can, like Frank said, both learn because there's always a learning moment.
You're never like, okay, I'm a professional.
I'm done.
I don't need to learn anything more about parenting.
(04:01):
That's foolish.
We're always going to learn.
Can't wait to hear from you guys.
And we also want to throw this out to not just older guys.
We want to throw this out to couples, single parents, people that I know you were talking about.
We have friends in common that I've had their children at a regular age, let's say, and now they're a father or mother of a three year old or four year old, you know?
(04:26):
So we're going to get into that as well, which is a little different from where we're at.
As you said, obviously this is your first, but we have some people our age that have their grown kids and then there have babies or two, three year olds.
I think that's the thing that's going to be cool is to get different perspective, blended families, people who have done it that have kids out of college and still then getting into school.
(04:52):
Right.
And I think, you know, from my perspective, I think too, it's, we are a completely different generation, right?
Like when you look, I was looking it up and seeing the average when I should have been having kids was a dad and a mom.
The average was 27 years old.
Yep.
That was for a first time kid.
(05:14):
Now, fast forward to now people who are having their first kid now, for some reason, the age of the woman has not changed.
Mom's average is still right in that 27 range, but father's that's 30 made women are starting to prefer older men.
Right.
I don't know what it is.
That's kind of where we are, but we kind of, we've worked together for years and years and we worked in different retail environments.
(05:38):
And what, what I did was always that kind of retail operations.
Now I work in a location based entertainment and with that kind of work over the years, I have gotten older and my employees have stayed the same age, right?
I get older and they're, they just, yeah, it's like, cause it's usually, it's like a starter job.
And, and when you think about it, I've watched the differences with these generations and hopefully, and I come from even more of a throwback.
(06:07):
My parents were old, like I was a late in life baby for them.
Right.
So it's very, I think we can bring a different perspective.
Uh, we're, I was just watching the other day, Bill Maher talked about how we need a return of the trad dad, the traditional father.
Right.
And I think I'm going to be, I'm going to be much more like that than, uh, you know, then probably an average guy now at 55.
(06:34):
Right.
I mean, at, at, at 27 and now 30, you might not know who you are quite, you know, at that point, 55, 56, you know, what you can get away with, you know, what you can, uh, um, what you can handle, what you can handle, what you can, um, you know, whatever.
You just know yourself a lot better.
(06:56):
So you're going to be a little bit more conservative because we're older.
Yeah.
You know, if I had a kid at 25, who knows how I would raise them compared to it, you know, at 55, when I think back, it's like, there's different lifetimes, right.
Between, between when I should've had a kid and now I'm not the same person.
I'm not even close to the same person as I was.
(07:18):
We've had different planets.
We lived in different plans.
So may I ask you this?
When did you, when did you feel or realize that you, you want to be a parent or you needed to be a parent?
Cause I know for me, I knew if I got married, the next thing would be have kids.
Um, but I don't know if I, you 18, 15 going, I'm going to be a dad one day.
(07:44):
Right.
Um, did you have that moment?
Did you have something that said, I have to be a dad.
I, I need to be a dad or I'm not going to be a dad, or this is not going to happen.
I don't know.
I mean, it was always a part of the, I think it was always a part of, you know, a part of life that I looked forward to.
And I always said again, with, with my parents being older, I wanted, I didn't want to be the old dad.
(08:07):
Right.
Um, right.
Like I remember from, so my, my dad was 47 and I remember, and we've, I've told you the story before I was in my backyard with my friend Brian and we were little like, you know, kindergarten, first, first grade age.
And my dad came home from work and Brian looks and he goes in the house and Brian looks at me and goes, why does your grandpa live with you?
(08:32):
And I'm like, what do you, and I, it was in that moment.
I'm like, oh yeah, my dad's older than everybody else's dad.
My mom was older.
And, uh, you know, I always want, now I'm eight years past that with my first one.
My father was 47 for his last one.
He was my brother.
My brother was born in 1950.
So my dad was 28 for his first, which is 47 for his last.
(08:57):
So, you know, with that, you know, your child male or female is going to probably maybe one day have that same experience going, Hey, why is your grandpa dropping you off to school?
Yeah.
Um, what do you think about that?
Because you went through that, that feeling that, what do you think your son or daughter is going to be?
(09:19):
No, no matter what that is like, it won't be as bad as when the guy that's fitting you for a tux says to your test, to your wife, you want your husband, you want your father to look good.
Which I don't think I've ever told you that, but that did happen.
And my, my beautiful wife, completely, completely, completely composed was like, that's my husband.
(09:46):
But cause she, she looks younger than, than she, than she is.
And I guess we need your dad to look good too.
You know, you want your dad to look good.
My husband too.
So, so in facing that with my daughter or son, I got to believe, you know, it'll be okay.
I know I can see it coming.
I know it's going to happen and, and that, and that's okay.
(10:09):
And it's interesting because I look, you look at what we thought was old.
Yeah.
Right.
And I see these pictures of TV stars.
When we were, when we were watching, when we were kids watching TV and red Fox from Sanford and son, he was 48.
Right.
When they made that show, I thought he was a hundred years old.
(10:31):
Bob Hope was probably like 46 years old.
All these people.
I'm like, all of the golden girls were younger than us right now.
And I'm like, what the hell's going on?
So, so it's, it's a, it's okay.
But yeah, I think that's going to be, you know, part of it.
As crazy as that is even, even with us, my wife and I, we weren't obviously in our fifties, but we were in our mid to later thirties.
(10:55):
And by the time we got to school with the kids and everybody realized their friends, parents were 10 years younger than us.
I mean, we were 39, they were 29, you know?
And that's a gap.
Oh yeah.
So I even felt it in people.
And that's a big 10 years from 20 to 30.
Right, right, right, right.
Like that's not, that's not a little, there wasn't, I mean, at that time there wasn't any graze or anything like that where people go, that's your grandparents, but you could feel the difference going, Oh, that's your parents.
(11:24):
Like, they're not like my parents, you know?
Um, so, but again, I still say what we know now at 55 years old, starting this, you are so much further than, than I think someone at 25, 35.
Um, and you've seen a lot of, I mean, you have nephew nieces.
(11:47):
I mean, you've seen it all.
And like you said, you've seen my life.
You've, we've known each other since we were kids and we went through life together.
I mean, there's gaps of time that we weren't, but we pick up right where we left off and you see the, you know, the marriage and the kids and this stuff.
So, and hopefully this journey will be helpful for you and myself because I'm still a parent.
(12:12):
I'm still a parent of a, you know, 18 year old to be a 23 year old.
They're never, you're never going to be, they're never going to be old enough for you to go.
Okay.
I punch out.
Okay.
I'm good now.
I'm done now.
They're always, you're going to be 90 years old and still worry about the same thing.
Are you going to drive?
Call me when you get there.
I'm 57.
(12:33):
It's funny because watching my siblings, my, my one sister doesn't have any children.
My other sister has, has two.
And then my brother has, has two and watching kind of the different parenting styles and, and, and how they are now with their adult children.
And yeah, it's, it's an interesting thing to see.
So, so tell us more, more about like your story, your back, your family, your, okay.
(12:57):
So I come from, I guess the, let's say traditional American dream scenario.
I was born in Italy.
I came here in the seventies, my mom and dad, traditional family, mom and dad, and my older brother and myself, we came over, moved to this area, haven't really left in 50 plus years.
(13:23):
Do you know why, why did, why Syracuse?
Why did your family end up?
So we're based in Syracuse, outside of Syracuse.
At the time, Syracuse had a lot of industries, factories, jobs.
My, my mom's brother and sister immigrated to New York city.
Once Syracuse with all the, you know, Chrysler jam and all that stuff and just factories, people were making some money and they just moved where the money was.
(13:50):
They wanted to get out of, I think the city.
That makes sense.
And, you know, as they, you know, compared to New York city, this is the suburbs, the country actually.
And I think that's, that's where they settled.
And they, you know, they, they, yeah, they got their families.
So when we came over, uh, mom, dad, older brother, myself, old school.
(14:10):
And when I say old school, the traditional dad goes to work.
Mom was home.
Uh, when we were younger, when we got a little older, she started working at this company that made suits.
She was a seamstress.
My dad, all old Italian ladies in my family worked at work there.
Exactly.
I mean, you say the word in Syracuse of the place, everybody knows it.
(14:33):
Uh, and my father, he was a carpenter or a woods, a woodworker.
He came a casket maker.
I always see.
That isn't a euphemism.
He didn't kill people.
He did a Sicilian.
Yeah.
That's so in my, in my regular job, that's one of my jokes.
I say is a Sicilian that makes caskets.
You, you can put the joke anywhere you want.
(14:54):
Either way, it's going to work out for him.
So, uh, he was, my dad was, um, probably like your dad.
He showed his love in different ways by, um, I'm going to go to work, small things, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to go to work.
I'm going to have a house and provide a warm house for you guys.
(15:17):
I am going to have food on the table.
I'm not going to cook it, but I'm going to provide it.
And, um, and that's it.
Don't ever get in trouble because, uh, you're going to be stuck in jail.
Cause I won't get you.
He's that kind of guy.
Very, you know, you know what he's giving.
And I always thought as a child that he was a angry man and he didn't quite like us, love us.
(15:41):
I don't know what word you want to use.
As I grew up, as I get older, obviously I know my dad loves us and that's what he knew how to provide.
That's what he knew what to do as a father.
As I said, he probably had less than what he gave us.
Right.
Yeah.
So as an older gentleman, I realized he did exactly what he thought he was going to do correctly.
(16:05):
Um, as a result, and I think he did pretty well.
And my mom, traditional mom, again, the cooking, the cleaning.
And then, like I said, she would go to work.
So the funny thing is at 40, my mom had my younger brother.
So in this weird way, we're talking about my brother now is going to be 50 years old.
(16:25):
So that's 50 years ago, you know, 40 year olds were having babies, of course.
So this is not new what you're doing, but at the same time, very new for you.
So, um, maybe this would give you some comfort that even without technology that they had 50 years ago and all this information and all this, you know, thing people were doing it.
(16:52):
So you're way ahead.
You're going to have technology and books and people and, and family and all that good stuff.
And I don't think you worry about that, right?
I don't think what is your worry?
The biggest thing, like right now, I'm going to be a father, right?
What is your main thing that you go at night and go, Oh, I got to do this.
(17:16):
You know, there's, there's lots of the things that I think about immediately are number one, just the kind of the physical challenges of it, right?
Like I'm 55, I'm not 25, running around with a kid, they're going to all rolling around on the floor, uh, like doing all that.
So I think about, I think about that stuff and, and just generally, I think I, you know, it's one of those things I have always, I don't know why, but even as a kid, I always understood.
(17:47):
I always thought I didn't, I never understood.
My mom didn't work like yours.
She, she, she stayed home.
I never understood why women wanted to work because it always seemed very apparent to me that a mother has the most impact on people's lives in the long run.
How could you, what, what job is more important than that?
(18:12):
And so, so I've always, when you break it down, like you are shaping the next generation of humans, like there's nothing more important than that.
So for me, I seeing a mother that way as a father, I just want to do a good job, right?
I know I spent as many people, I'm sure do when you, when you leave home, I left home at 18.
(18:36):
When you leave home, you think that your family is uniquely screwed up.
Like you were the only ones that are messed up.
Right.
And then you meet people and you find out, Oh no, everybody is.
And then you get older and you realize, Oh, my crazy was the good crazy compared to what else is out there.
So that, that, that perspective, but basically it's just, I want to do a good job and, and I want, you know, and thinking about just, I just want to be a good, I want to be a good parent.
(19:07):
That's all.
And I want, I want to, I want to do better.
Just like you said with your dad, your dad did the best he could and did a good job.
He had a, he had a paradigm that this is what a father does.
And he did it.
You have having experienced the other, the business end of that fatherhood, you came up with your paradigm and you lived up to that.
(19:29):
And, and how we come up with that is a little of going to the past.
Okay.
As a child, as a young adult, what was I lacking from my parents with my either dad, my mom, um, what, what did I need more?
What did I need less?
Uh, what worked, what didn't.
And you come up with your own strategy of what your ideal father is or parenting is.
(19:54):
Uh, so without that, a lot of people, you think like, Oh my God, why'd I have to go through that?
You have to go through that bad, good and different.
You have to, so you know what makes you comfortable?
It makes you thrive.
What makes you, what makes you, that's what makes you, but you were saying something about worrying at your age.
And again, this doesn't apply for everybody, but for you, a big thing, when I became a father for the first time, my fear was providing, am I at a job that I'm going to be, you know, happy with, able to take care of, able to take care of it.
(20:31):
Are we financially set at the time?
I did not own a house.
We were in my parents home.
I was going to be a father.
I was 30 some odd years old, 33, 34.
So buying a house, having life insurance, all that stuff is on my shoulders.
And I think you're walking into that without that.
(20:52):
We have a completely, we're very lucky.
We are in a completely different place than that.
We don't have to, none of that is even a thought, right?
We can, we don't have to, I don't have to think about those things.
You know, my wife has her own career and I have mine.
We were set for in that, in those ways.
But I say that because you're in that situation and that's going to work or not work.
(21:18):
You're going to have other, but I don't want people listening to this going, well, yeah, great.
He's got, listen, I didn't and it worked out.
So if you're in my scenario, you could still come to this 20 years later.
I own my own house.
I have kids in college and both paths can lead to where we're at right now.
So that's why I also want to tell people that are listening that are 25, 35 and don't have what you have getting into it.
(21:43):
And honestly, like I've seen that, like I see it now with some, with, with a lot of people, you know, in my extended family, friends, I'm more concerned.
We talk about it already.
We see not having to worry about a lot of those things is a trap in itself, right?
(22:05):
When it comes to a kid, when like that is one of the things I truly believe, like growing up, we didn't have a lot of money.
Uh, like I wasn't, you know, there's always food on the table and things like that.
You were clean, but yeah, that's it.
But like, but I didn't get the Atari when everybody got the Atari.
Right.
I didn't have those things.
(22:27):
But the fact is when I look back at the kids who did, it wasn't a good thing.
Right.
Like I, I grew up with a very healthy focus on the future because that's where the goods for me, that's where the good stuff was.
And I've known people that they had that, they had that childhood that was like a TV show.
(22:51):
They had it and they spend the rest of their lives talking about and wanting to recapture that moment when they were 17 and got their first car.
And they got to keep that going.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They got to keep that expectation going of how I grew up.
And that's a tough thing to, like, we don't have far to go from where we grew up.
(23:14):
Right.
There's one thing that I do want to pass on to a child is the feeling that I am, I've always, no matter what, you know, look, you get older, things hurt, you experience aging and in the way that everybody does.
But in my head, because of the way I was raised and because I was always thinking about the future, I always think my best days are ahead of me.
(23:40):
Right.
I always do.
Yeah.
And I think I never look, I, I am not, I'm with you.
Yeah.
I'm not like member of high school.
No, no, no.
That was then.
Yeah, it was great in its way.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But my best is in front of me.
And I think that a lot of times to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
And your best is what you created.
(24:01):
It is.
That's a huge thing.
Right.
Like I'm going to be able to, yeah, look at that.
Like now I'm not thinking about, well, I'm going to retire.
No, I'm thinking about I got to live 30 years.
It doesn't become about you anymore.
Right.
And that's the thing that we want to with this.
And I think we're going to go into why we're doing this and how this is going to look as a podcast.
(24:24):
But it's not you.
And when you when when you're single, even married with no kids, it's still about you, you and your wife, our vacations, our home.
Once you have that child.
And I think a lot of people do get into the let's get a dog first, because you have to realize there's got to be another.
You know, there's going to be something else.
You got to keep a living thing that you have to keep alive.
(24:44):
And I think pets is great with that because it takes you outside of yourself going, oh, I got to feed.
I got to walk.
I got to.
And then a child, obviously that much bigger.
But that's what you're going to realize.
And I think you already have.
It's not about me anymore.
It's not about me.
I think that's one of those things that most people, because they do it so much younger.
I don't think I knew I wasn't past at twenty seven.
(25:07):
I wasn't past myself yet.
Right.
Right.
I love I loved me.
Exactly.
Right.
What you should write.
That's why you did what you did.
But I think that's people typically learn.
I hope I want to say that you could ask my wife and she can tell she can tell you whether I'm right or not.
I think over the years, not being a parent, but just figuring out life that I figured out how to love somebody else.
(25:30):
Right.
The way you should.
Right.
But I think for most people, becoming a parent is how they figure that out, because there is this immediate like, oh, it's OK.
It's it's there.
Here it is.
All of a sudden that flips that switch.
And some people don't figure it out.
And that's why, unfortunately, you have you have people that I grew up with tougher times.
(25:52):
And yeah, because their parent didn't figure it out.
Right.
Their parents still has a selfish mode even when they had the kids.
Yeah.
So and we welcome them as well, because hopefully we are, you know, we're all kind of like misfits at the same time because, you know, nobody's perfect.
Before we get into our structure, I really there's a story that you told me that kind of brought you to a time.
(26:19):
My family, very much like yours, where it's, you know, except a generation removed.
So my grandparents emigrated.
They came here to this part of the like to this part of New York because it was farms.
Right.
They were from the mountains.
They were farmers and they knew like they they could get sure that's how they got jobs.
They worked on farms.
My grandfather was end up being he was a shoemaker.
(26:42):
He found his way.
My grandmother came along and and that's kind of how it happened, how my family ended up here.
Right.
First generation Americans.
But my parents grew up during the Depression.
Very austere, very hard life.
My my my mom, I never knew it growing up, but hearing now stories from my cousins on that side of the family, my mom had a much harder childhood than than I than I was ever aware of when she was alive.
(27:12):
She had a very my mother was a sweet, sweet woman.
And she she was just a big kid.
And she really.
Oh, she was.
She was.
She had the most childlike.
Oh, that's personality.
She really was.
She loved.
She loved Christmas.
She loves springtime.
Is that in you?
I hope you have a little.
I hope so.
(27:33):
You love.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah.
Like, I think I've stayed 12 in my head my whole my whole life.
Like, I didn't get much further than that.
They got a little bit.
But she was.
Yeah, she was.
She was a wonderful woman.
And she I think she talked about the wonder like with Christmas.
She knew her parents.
(27:53):
There was no way she believed wholeheartedly in Santa Claus because she knew her parents didn't have any money.
Right.
I fall into that as well.
But somehow that work.
Right.
So she and she.
She kept that.
That's why she was always 12.
Yeah.
So so she she she had that stuff.
But my mom and dad, I'm one of four siblings.
(28:14):
My brother's the oldest.
He's 19 years older than me.
I was I always joke and say I was a failure of the rhythm method of birth control.
I was I was a surprise.
But my mom was 40, 42, I think, when she had me in in 1969.
For me, I think the story start.
(28:34):
The story of being a dad for me kind of starts now.
15 years ago, 14 years ago, I got divorced.
I remember I was at work and I was working at an electronic store called Ultimate Electronics, which is now gone.
And I came out of the mall, out of the out of the store, into the mall to go to lunch.
(28:56):
And there was a mother and her little boy walking.
And I kind of turned the corner in front of them.
So they were following me and I could but I could hear a woman was on on her phone and it became evident as she's talking.
She's talking to her husband and I hear her say, we're walking along.
This was within days after breaking up with my ex.
(29:18):
OK.
And, you know, still very raw, not really knowing what was going on.
And I'm listening and I hear her say, hold on.
And I hear the little boy say, hi, daddy.
And I went, that was it.
Like I started I started crying in the I'm in the middle of the mall.
(29:40):
Where I have worked off and on and I'm like, you know, anybody, everybody who knows me.
I've been around and I'm just crying, tears running down my face because thank goodness years later now my ex is married, has children, is in a great place.
You're both in the right.
I think she's very happy.
I'm very happy at the time.
(30:01):
But at the time, what was hard, the hardest thing about that breakup was I thought that was over.
Like that was just like, OK, I might meet a girl, I might get married again.
But at that age, like I'm in my early 40s.
Yeah.
I'm not going to I'm never going to have a kid.
And that was super hard.
(30:22):
And I didn't realize how hard it was.
You know, I moved on, it was a year after about a year, started dating again.
I think I had set that aside and then I met my I met my wife, got married seven years ago.
And here we are.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like time goes by.
So here it is.
(30:44):
Then we're trying and we had our challenges.
And now, oh, here it is.
We're going to have a baby.
The end game is here.
And I and it was in that moment.
It was like I always said, oh, I knew it was a possibility.
You know, I was younger.
She wanted that.
We didn't she didn't have any children.
We both want it.
(31:04):
It was always part of the plan.
We tried, had some challenges.
Now here it is.
And I thought to myself, oh, the only experience I could I could tie it to was it was like somebody walked up and said, hey, your mom, no, she's alive.
Right.
I guarantee she was gone.
You know, she's like, yeah, and also buried it.
(31:26):
Yeah, it was it was that was never even though I knew it was possible and we were trying and all that, then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm allowed to actually think about all of those things.
Yeah.
And it was, it was a wonderful, you know, it was a wonderful moment.
And that, that was the first moment where I'm like, oh yeah, no, this is real.
(31:49):
Like I'm going to have to, I'm not, I'm going to get to do all those things and I got to figure all this stuff out.
And then I thought I got to call Carl.
And that's what I think is the, the unique opportunity here as number one, I like to learn by input from lots of people, right?
And what better way to get input from a lot of people than to do something like this with somebody who look, when I saw, I think we had a very similar experience with our dads and seeing you.
(32:22):
And I think it was just, we were out on a, out on the boat.
Your boys were with us and seeing and hearing you say, I love you.
To your sons.
And it was like, oh, that's how that, that's how that, like my dad said, I love you one time and, and, and in my whole life, you got one more than I did.
And so it's one zero.
(32:44):
So it's still, it's still a close race, but it's hard when you think about it.
So, but seeing that and understand, oh, like this is, that's how it can be.
Right.
Cause you're no pushover.
I saw how you were with them.
Hey, there could be both of those things.
I had both of those things, but in my mother who told me she loved me and I knew she meant it and my father, who showed in different ways, but who I learned other things from.
(33:11):
And so, so in thinking about this and then the opportunity to capture it, right.
To, to do something like this, you were the first person I thought that I would want to do what I would want to do it with, but I really like, I want it to be something that, first of all, I just want to share kind of what the experience week by week, right?
We have this opportunity it's happening now.
(33:34):
Right.
And, and every week there is something happening now every week is there's something new and I'm, and as it's happening, I'm like, I wish we were already recording, right?
Cause we're, hopefully we're going to catch up to real, real time very quickly.
And, and as I experienced it, I can, I can share it, but also I know it's going to kick off memories for you.
I'm going to say, guess what happened?
(33:55):
And you're going to have a story.
And at the same time, I want people to be able to ask questions and kind of join in the experience and learn from it.
It's important because, yeah, I mean, obviously we think we're very interesting, but, um, we need, you know, we need you guys to, uh, be part of this.
There's going to be questions that we don't have because maybe we didn't grow up that way where a viewer said, oh, my, in my family, we did this or my, you know, my father wasn't, it wasn't absent.
(34:26):
Um, how do I become a dad when I never had a dad, they might come into here and go, okay, even though we had our fathers with us, it wasn't the same as maybe my friend's fathers, or I really want that to be this podcast.
I want it to be something that someone can come on there at 24, having their first child or at 54 or at 64.
(34:47):
It's someone we can all, it's like one of those rooms where people have their meetings and they go, yes, I'm Carlo Russo.
And I have blah, blah, blah, blah.
I want this to be like, Hey, I got to, you know, I just experienced in this.
Have you guys ever done this?
Have this ever happened to you?
How did you get out of this scenario?
What do I do?
And if we have that answer, we'll answer it.
If not, we'll find it out.
(35:09):
And that's what I really would like on that.
And we, we came up with some fun ways to get through this.
I think thinking about subjects that we talk about every time, right.
So what just happened that we wanted to, like, I think what just happened, we're going to do that and it's going to be whatever happened that week, right?
(35:29):
Coming up in two weeks will be like the big, the scan that they go over all the anatomy, make sure all the parts and pieces are in the right place, all that stuff.
So that's coming up in a couple of weeks.
As those things happen, that's what, yeah, that that's what it'll be.
The other thing too, is we're thinking about and planning, which I think is going to be a lot of fun is check, please.
(35:51):
I'd like to check, please is going to be essentially, I already have the list of this, what we're spent.
I've already, there's a spreadsheet.
I don't want to scare any.
What is my vision of this is I'm going to give my kid when they graduate high school, a bill itemized of everything I spent.
So I'm just going to track every expense, every book, every like, the only thing I'm going to leave out is that we're spending some money on now is maternity.
(36:19):
I don't think that's fair.
My wife needs, you give your wife that bill.
That's right.
She can, she, she, she can take care of that.
Uh, so we're going to do check please, which I think is going to be fun.
I mean, and again, we do that.
That part is a little humorous.
I mean, that's, you know, it's, it's, but it's all, it's real, man.
It's also, you got to think about it's amazing because everything we were looking like bassinets, right.
(36:44):
And you know, you can get a bassinet for a hundred dollars, $150.
And then I'm getting pushed ads in social media.
This one, it's like, wow, look at this thing.
It looks like something out of the bottom of like a space movie.
It's like $1,500 for a bassinet.
I jokingly tell my wife and she has a friend, they live out of state.
She is one week ahead of my wife, but with her fourth.
(37:07):
Okay.
And so they got together, they were visiting.
My wife comes home and I'm like, Oh, Hey, how, how is she's telling me all about it?
You know, that, that, the bassinet.
Yeah.
She rented one for her first and second, and she wishes she bought it.
So now I'm like, okay, so now we're in like the thousand dollar bass.
(37:28):
So we're going to keep a tally, right?
It's going to be here.
Ridiculous, but it'll be, it'll be fun.
And I think it'll be, you know, at a slightly education.
And again, this is Frank's scenario.
Look, there's, I think we should talk about everything low, medium, high price, wherever, and then whatever, wherever we land and we're going to talk more about that stuff too.
(37:51):
So there's, there's check, please.
The next one is book report.
I already have a stack.
Oh, I'm in my second, I'm already in my second book on how to introduce the baby to the dogs.
Important.
Right.
I didn't have to deal with that.
I don't have, I never dog.
So yes, it is.
And we're, we're working on it.
(38:12):
And the first book was pretty, I liked the first book a lot.
Second book, a little more tactical.
And what was cool about it is it comes with a link.
You can download baby sounds and you play, you get, and it goes through step-by-step.
So I will do occasionally.
I'll spend a few minutes and I'll talk about the book.
I'll give you the link.
Play the dog.
(38:33):
You can play them and see how I have the floppy ears and the collar for you, but so, so, and there's, I got a stack of books.
To read a book report.
I like that.
I think we're going to do book report.
I like that idea.
The other one that I think is going to be a lot of fun is the database, the database.
I want to be able to talk to people that we know that are, have different perspectives, blended family, dads, dads who did, you know, we have one friend, Jeff, who has a daughter that's out of college and a daughter that's just going in elementary school.
(39:09):
Right.
So I think having a segment where we talk to those people and I get advice from them and perspectives and stories.
Cause I don't, I can't give you advice for that.
I don't have a college and a baby.
So people like that.
Uh, we also have another friend named Dave that will be on here.
Yeah.
It's going through the same thing.
So that's going to be interesting.
(39:30):
I think it'll be fun for both of us.
Yep.
Yeah, absolutely.
So we have, so the data, the database, the next one, we're going to call crash test.
Daddy.
It's the prop.
It's going to be all the products.
There are so many things.
Eddie Bauer, $2,000 stroller.
I remember when I, when we first had our child and people who had that, we were looking at, at that time, toys, kids or us or whatever it was, the prices get.
(39:53):
Oh, it's ridiculous.
The thing that's honestly is disappointing right now is there used to be those babies are us, but that doesn't exist anymore.
Everything's on Amazon.
That, and now, you know what I've noticed a little bit in the weeds there, the apartment stores are putting these stores within their stores.
Yep.
And I believe right now could be wrong.
(40:16):
Coles has now babies are us or kids are us is back in.
Oh, really?
I want to look at it.
So Coles is one we haven't been to.
We've been to target and walking up and down those aisles.
And it's, so that'll be fun.
So, and there's a million different products, all different ages.
We can test them.
We can test them.
We can do that stuff.
So I think it'll be, that'll be fun.
This is one I haven't talked to you about, but we talked a little bit about fitness.
(40:41):
Here's the goal.
I started a couple of weeks ago.
I need to lose weight.
Okay.
So my goal is that as Kelly gains weight, I'm going to try to lose it.
Right.
So I'm down a couple of pounds.
She's up a few pounds.
Maybe call this the scales of injustice, some of the debt, the diaper diet.
I don't know what we're going to call it, but I think I'm going to, every once in a while, I'll check in and tell you, cause it'll be good for me from an accountability standpoint.
(41:07):
Yeah.
So we have the freshman 15.
Is it maybe we can, the father, the father, we can come up with a name because there is that freshman 50.
And I'm telling him when my wife was, I got pregnant for our first and second, um, daddy gained weight.
Oh yeah.
Daddy gained weight.
I'm sorry to say.
Um, I can see how that would happen.
And that was before DoorDash.
Yeah.
(41:27):
We were, we were dashing to the ice cream shop.
Um, and then they have cravings.
I don't know if, uh, she has craving jet.
No, not, not really any, any cravings per se.
So that's a good thing.
You're going to keep yourself in check.
I want to try to, I want to try it.
Like literally if I could drop.
And I know this guy you've done.
(41:48):
I'm good at putting on weight and I'm good at losing it too.
So I've been trying to make some adjustments down.
I'm down like three or four pounds and I'm going to keep pushing on it.
And then maybe one that we might do once in a while is the worry of the week.
Like, what is the thing that I wake up in the middle of the night?
And we kind of said, you know, we kind of, kind of flashed into that, like not having financial, but there's going to be so many other stuff and that could also be a worry that somebody, somebody sends in, right?
(42:15):
Like, this is what I'm, this is what I'm going through.
There might be a segment for people to come.
Heck yeah.
Uh, that could be, that can be as well.
And then one of the other things I want to figure out how to do, and I I'm excited about is I've always been involved in music.
I love to play.
I love singing the idea of singing lullabies to my kid.
(42:37):
That'd be awesome.
And I can't wait to do that.
You told me about an idea that you wanted to do with the podcast.
I think it's cool.
The, I think I, I'm what I want to try to do is find, I'm going to record lullabies.
Some of them are just straight up lullabies.
Some of them, there's so many songs in the great American songbook that are romantic songs, but with a little tweak, you can absolutely see singing as a lullaby.
(43:02):
So I'm experimenting with those.
I, well, knowing that I love the way you sing and play, I think that's a great idea.
Um, and yeah, no, it'll be, it'll be fun for you.
Yeah.
She had an idea this morning, which I think is a good idea.
She's like, why don't you do brackets?
I'm like, what do you mean?
And she's like, well, you know how they do with, with, yeah.
(43:24):
But that way there's a way for people, for, for people who listen to the podcast to weigh in.
So I'll put one out and then another one out and we'll have them compete for the best.
And then people can submit ideas too.
We don't have to do 64.
No, we can start with eight and have, have two by two.
(43:44):
We'll vote and we can have like the ultimate lullaby contest.
I thought that was kind of a fun idea.
Okay.
Of, um, a lullaby that you created or that's already out there.
And then we can have people, you get to, you get to sing it or, or I think I'll, I'll do one of each and then people can vote on which one they like, which one they like the best and we'll see what the ultimate lullaby is.
(44:09):
But I like that idea too.
We'll get our fan base and then we'll throw that out there.
That's awesome.
I think that it could be fun.
The more interaction we have and input and ideas and feedback, the better it'll be.
It has to be.
We want this to be about you guys.
Yes.
He's experienced it.
We're already going to gain what we want to gain out of this talking.
We want you guys to join us.
(44:31):
We want you guys to be part of this.
We need your input.
We need your, we need your help as well.
So what do you think, what do you look forward to most?
I'm really excited for both of us to learn, learn about what this is, what this, what parenting is.
(44:51):
Like I just said, watching you and I've, I've known you, we were 18 years old.
We're now in our mid fifties.
I always knew that you, you know what you want, you know how to get there and you succeed.
And I always thought, God, if he could be a dad, he would be awesome because we grew up the same way with our fathers and what we were lacking from them and what we wanted from them.
(45:15):
And then we realized all the good things we got from them.
I thought that he's going to take that and run kind of like what I did.
So I, I'm really, I really want to see you growing into this thing that I've always thought you were going to be is a great father.
You've always proven to me that, you know, you're a great friend and then you get married.
(45:40):
You're a great husband.
I was his best man.
I mean, we've done this.
This is not something that we just picked up and overnight and said, oh, let's, you know, we have a whole life together.
So that's what I, I'm excited about seeing where this goes for both of us.
And for people that are watching going, you know what?
I started watching them and I was scared and I was, um, not even scared.
(46:03):
I wasn't, I wasn't knowledgeable or I'm in that situation.
I'm 50 something years old.
I'm shitting my pants and I got to this podcast and I realized, oh, I'm not the only one.
Yep.
Like you said, when you were growing up and going, oh wait, I wasn't the only kid that grew up this way.
There's other people.
So that's what I want this to go to.
(46:23):
It's kind of like a fun guide for everybody.
And, um, I want to learn too.
I think very much the same for me.
I'm excited for two things.
The first thing is the biggest advantage of doing this now for me is I don't care as much as I once did about how people, what people think.
(46:45):
Right.
Right.
That that's, that's not so important to me anymore.
So I think I can approach this and be a lot more transparent about how scary it is and how, where many years ago walls have come.
Yeah.
Like I know, look, I mean, I know I'm an idiot, right?
Like I know, I know, I don't know everything.
And the more I learn, the more I realize, I don't know.
(47:06):
And the more I tell people I don't know, the more I'll learn because I'm going to figure it out.
That's another thing, working collaboratively with people and working with a lot of people over the years, you can learn from everyone.
So I'm, I'm looking forward to the fact that maybe because I'm a little bit more brave when it comes to sharing all the things that I'm going to screw up, that's going to make somebody else, it's going to help someone.
(47:31):
I'm excited for the day that I'm going to be doing something with this kid.
And I'm going to think, Oh, that guy in Iowa said, right.
And I'm going to try it and it's going to work.
I want to learn from the people I do know and love and care about.
And I would also love to learn from, from people that I haven't met yet.
Uh, and, and that's what I'm, that's what I'm looking forward to the most.
(47:52):
Yeah, no, I, I think, and the cool thing too, is you can, how many years down the line, um, you can show your child, like, yeah, this is how I felt.
That's one of the things that I thought of is if I do die, like in the next five years, at least the kid will have something they can look at and go, Oh, okay.
He was going to be good.
(48:13):
He was really, he was going to try.
So gotta give it up to him.
He made a podcast for me.
He did, but, but, but at 56, you're thinking, Oh, if I die, if I, I was thinking of that at 30, so we're all the same.
It doesn't matter how old you are.
The minute you are taking care of something other than yourself, whatever age you are, you want to be there for the longest, as long as you possibly can.
(48:40):
That's it.
Well, then I need to stop eating ice cream.
Yes.
I will eat it for you.
Well, look, thank you for, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you for listening.
Yes.
And we'll get smoother.
We'll get better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll get some, I'm going to edit out all of this stuff.
The arms and eyes and laughs.
And next time we'll talk, we'll start catching up on what happened between week one and week 18.
(49:06):
And, uh, and we'll, uh, we'll go forward from there.
I'd like to see that telly.
See, we'll start off.
We might do check, please.
As the inaugural check, please.
And in episode two, Well, folks, that's the first episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.
We hope it was fun.
(49:27):
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
So you don't miss any of our future adventures and while you're at it, give us a like, share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using, have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.
(49:55):
We'd love to hear from you.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.
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