July 3, 2025 • 32 mins
On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I’m discussing a topic that's been kinda’ burning a hole in my brain: Why do people feel the need to be such jerks online?
I was already planning on talking about this - but after hearing about a friend's experience receiving not-so-nice feedback from strangers after her free webinar, I was doubly committed!
I read two specific email examples from people who went out of their way to share their unsolicited opinion about my friend's presentation.
The kicker? These were for a FREE online event that they didn’t have to pay for and that they could have simply stopped watching at any time.
This episode is a passionate plea for a little more kindness in a world that seems to reward snark, sarcasm, and criticism.
I’m challenging all of us to hit pause before hitting "send" and to ask ourselves the three ancient gate questions: This thing that I'm about to say/type/send…
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
We've somehow normalized being cruel, especially online, and it's time we remember that real strength isn't in cutting others down - it's in lifting them up!
My top messages here?
Why be an asshole, when you can just be quiet.
You always have a choice. Choose kindness.
Use your words to make people feel seen, supported, and valued.
In a world that's increasingly divided and violent, we need compassion more than ever.
Let's be part of the "Kind Kids Club" and consciously do our best to leave people, animals, places, and spaces better than we found them. ❤️
KK’S KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• Sharing your work with the world takes courage and vulnerability.
• Before sending a critical message, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
• Social media has convinced everyone they should share their opinion, but not every thought needs to be voiced.
• Kindness is a strength, it doesn’t take much to be mean.
• Your words have power - they can build people up or tear them down. Choose wisely.
• Just because you can comment doesn't mean you should.
• Sometimes staying quiet is the most compassionate action.
• Personal responsibility matters: Consider how your words might impact someone who could be struggling or vulnerable.
• The current cultural climate often rewards being provocative or cruel over being kind, but you can choose to be different.
• Creativity and putting yourself out there is challenging enough without added negativity from others.
• Always ask yourself: "Would I want someone to speak to me this way?" If not, don't say it to someone else.
BIO:
Spiritual mentor and writer Karen Kenney uses humor and dynamic storytelling to bring a down-to-earth, no-BS perspective to self-development.
Bringing together tools that coach the conscious and unconscious mind, Karen helps clients deepen their connections with Self, and discover their unique understandings of spirituality.
Her practice combines neuroscience, subconscious reprogramming, Integrative Hypnosis, somatics, spiritual mentoring, and other holistic modalities to help regulate the nervous system, examine internal narratives, remove blocks, and reimagine what’s possible.
A passionate yoga teacher, long-time student of A Course in Miracles, and Gateless Writing instructor, Karen is a frequent speaker and retreat leader. Via her programs The Quest and The Nest, she coaches individuals and groups.
With The Karen Kenney Podcast, she encourages...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Karen Kenney (00:01):
Hey, welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I hope
you're doing super duper. I hopeyou're doing fantastic. And I'm
going to try to keep this suckershort and maybe not totally
sweet, but sure, certainly goingto do my best to just kind of
keep it kind of on the, on theon the shorter side. Okay, let's
just dive right into it. I'msure that you saw the title of
(00:24):
this episode right and butthere's a reason why I'm finally
doing this episode. I've talkedabout this, this topic, in
written form online severaltimes. I don't know if I've ever
done I looked back. I'm like,after like, 320 some shows. I'm
like, How did I have I talkedabout this before, but maybe not
(00:45):
in this particular way. Andwhat's inspiring this episode
is, first of all, just humanityand where it's at right now,
also the state of online socialmedia platforms where people
just feel like they can say anddo whatever they want to do. But
also, on a more personal level,I was recently talking with a
(01:07):
friend, and this is really thehot beat of the inspiration of
this episode. I was recentlytalking with a friend, and
they've been going through somethings, right? Some stuff had
been happening in their family,like, you know, they there was a
loved one that had died, like,back to back, a loved one that
had died, and then anotherelderly relative, like, fell
down, and they didn't know ifthey were, you know, they were
(01:30):
in the hospital. And, you know,we don't know what the, you
know, the recoup time is goingto be, if they're going to ever
be the same again. Becausethat's something that happens,
right with older folks, issometimes, once they fall, they
don't always recover. That's nottrue for everybody, but Right?
And they were just like, theyhave a lot of lot of kind of
balls in the air, juggling a lotof things. And they were just
(01:51):
feeling a little rundown. Butthen under the under that, you
know, in addition to that, Ishould say I could just hear
that there was maybe a little, Idon't know if it was sadness or
whatever. And as we continue totalk, they just kind of made a
quick statement of, yeah. Andthen I just got a couple of
comments on my thing that werelike, and I was like, Excuse me,
(02:14):
right? Because one of the thingsabout me is I'm very protective,
first of all, of animals. Youall know that, but I'm also very
protective of people I love andmy friends, etc, and I don't
like, I don't like when peopleare mean, period. I don't like
bullies, right? I don't likethat at all. I certainly don't
like it when people are doing itin a way where it's totally
uncalled for and unnecessary. SoI basically just dug for a
(02:37):
little more information, and Isaid, Hey, what's going on? And
we can all relate. I'm sure thedetails of this story might be
slightly different, but Iguarantee you, if you if you've
ever owned a business of anykind, if you've been in a
relationship of any kind, ifyou're a creative of any kind,
anytime you try, have tried toput something out into the
world, whether it was a projector a product or a program or
(03:02):
promoting something, or you justshared your feelings, or
something you had written, orsomething you painted, or music
you create, whatever, when youtake something from inside of
yourself, and then you have thecourage, you you have the
courage, and you're brave enoughto share it and put it out into
The world, especially the waythe world is right now, and
(03:23):
we'll get to that in a second.You know, that takes a lot of
vulnerability, it takes a lot ofcourage, it takes a lot of
chutzpah, it takes a lot ofballs, it takes a lot of grit to
be like, Okay, I'm gonna, like,take this thing that I created
and share it. Okay? So she hasbeen doing like a webinar, and
she was putting it out there,trying to help women with
(03:45):
menopausal symptoms or whatever.Okay? And then I said, Well,
what did these people say toyou? And she said, you know,
well, they didn't verbally sayit. They sent me emails. And I
was like, Okay, do you feelcomfortable sharing with me what
they said? And she said, yeah,and she shared that with me. And
(04:06):
if you, if you're not watchingthis, you can't see right now,
like I'm kind of pinching thebridge of my nose where it
connects to, like my forehead,cuz it's so painful to me.
People, sometimes look people, Ilove you. You are my brothers
and sisters. You are God's kidsas well. But sometimes you act
like colossal assholes, myselfincluded. And I try and like, I
(04:28):
really try hard, like, I reallydo my best to be so mindful, so
aware, less mindful and morelike aware, like, of what comes
out of my mouth and what myfingers type. You know what I
mean? Like, like, what I amtaking from my mind, out of my I
would say, head, hot hands,right? And also, sometimes your
(04:51):
pie hole. It's like, what iscoming out of your mouth.
Because a lot of times peopleare saying things and writing
things and doing things, andthey are not thinking. About the
consequences of them beingthemselves. They are not
thinking about how that thing isgoing to land. So this person
here, and I said to her, send mewhat they wrote to you, because
(05:12):
I'm going to read them on theair, because I want people to
see what it's like to be acreator, to be a creative, to be
somebody who's trying to do goodin the world and help people
with problems to literally showup with solutions, and then this
is how some people do Now, mindyou, this was a free they didn't
(05:33):
even pay any money for it. Thiswas a free webinar, okay, so at
least this person started with,just wanted to let you know how
informative and interesting themenopause live webinar was.
Okay. Then, then they say myhusband even watched it with me.
(05:53):
They could have just stoppedthere. They could have just
like, said that said, hey, itwas informative. It was
interesting. Thank you. Even myhusband, like watched it with
me. End of email. But no, no,they felt like they had to go on
to say the following. My onlycomment is now as soon as
(06:17):
somebody says that, that's likewhen people use the word, but I
love you, but, yeah, that wasreally good. But my only comment
is, is a faction, right? So it'slike an offshoot of that kind of
thing, you know, that some shitis about to roll downhill, okay?
My only comment is, we came veryclose to having a drinking game
(06:42):
and taking a sip every time yousaid the word right. Oh my god,
right. OMG, you said that wordmore than 1000 times, I would
bet. So I'm glad we didn't dothe sipping game, because we
would have been completelydrunk. Thanks again for the
seminar, or is it a webinar?Well, you know what I mean, I'm
(07:07):
reading this, and I just want totake one of these pens and,
like, stab myself in the eyeballwith it, because this is so
painful to me, because guys hearme out, you are entitled to have
an opinion. You know that oldsaying, you know opinions are
like assholes, like everybody'sgot one, right, but they're
nowhere, nowhere, nowhere. Is itrequired? Or do you need to
(07:34):
share said opinion with otherpeople, especially if they
didn't ask for your opinion, foryour feedback, for your POV and
point of view. You know what Imean? It's like you had to go
ahead and ruin the kindness ofyour first sentences because you
(07:55):
couldn't your ego. Your ego justcouldn't resist letting that
other person know, right? Get aslip, a little meanness in
there, a little sarcasm, alittle, oh, my only comment is,
you know, here's the thing thatI will tell you,
there are a ton of things likepodcasts and stuff out there.
(08:18):
There's like, millions andmillions and millions and
millions of podcasts. Do youknow how many podcasts actually
survived the first three? Like,it's something like, there's an
obscene amount of people whostart podcasts, but more than,
like, a third like, whatever thenumber is, let's say it was 3
million, right? Only, like, amillion actually survive after
(08:40):
the third episode. You know why?Because people realize how hard
it is to put yourself out there,to keep coming up with content,
to keep coming up with wayswhere you're quote, unquote,
adding value to the world, andyou're benefiting other people,
and you're trying to, like, helpthem and do something right? So
when another human being goesout of their way to offer
(09:02):
something for free. Now look awebinar or a quote, unquote
seminar is not designed to giveyou all of the answers. It's
designed to give you enoughinformation that you can see if
this program, this product, thisthing, is going to be a good fit
for you, if you resonate withthe person leading it or
(09:25):
teaching it, if you walk awaywith at least one thing and you
go, like, okay, that's reallyhelpful. That's really good
information. I'm in like, I'mgoing to give this person a
shot. I'm going to spend alittle money. I'm going to
whatever, right? Because I havesome symptoms. I have a problem.
I don't know the solution. Thisperson seems like they do. So to
think that you're just going togo into a free webinar and like,
(09:47):
get all your questions answeredis, like, obnoxious. But the
fact that this person didn'teven have a problem with the
information, they said it wasinteresting as well, but they
had to make a comment. Commentabout the way that this person
talks and what I was trying tosay about also, in addition to
having a podcast, we all haverhythms in ways that we speak in
(10:12):
words that we say. Some peoplesay the word um a lot. Some
people say the word like a lot.Some people say the word right a
lot, some people say, does thatmake sense a lot? We all have
these little quirks to the waythat we talk, and there are a
lot of people who do onlinepresentations of all kinds who
(10:33):
don't like to sound human. Theydon't want their humanity to
slip through, so they are highlypolished and edited content,
right? They hire a whole team,or they themselves spend hours
going in and taking out everypause and every um and every
whatever. And I've never donethat with my show, what you see
(10:54):
is what you get. We tack on anintro, we tack on an outro, but
you just get me as I am evenright now, like, Look at my hair
and my face, right? I just gotback from a run, and I'm still
kind of, like, finishing down,sweating. So, like, what you see
is what you get. And first ofall, for my friend to go out
there and to create this thingand to put it out into the
(11:16):
world, right? If that's what yousee, I just said the word right,
if you're, if you're if that'swhat you're gonna focus on,
you're focusing on the wrongshit that she said the word
right, but the fact that youfeel the need to comment on it,
to go out of your way to try tomake somebody feel whatever the
word is stupid, not good enough,to shame them, to make them
(11:38):
insecure, to Pull them down anotch, whatever it is. And I'm
not saying that this person wentout of their way to consciously
be an asshole, but again, why bean asshole when you could just
be quiet? It didn't like thinkof all the steps that this
person had to go through. Theysigned up for the webinar. It
(12:01):
caught their attention. Theythought it was interesting
enough that they signed up forit, like gave away an hour and
90 minutes, whatever it was oftheir time. And it's an hour, I
think it was like an hour long.So they do an hour of it, and
afterwards, they thought, Oh,that was informative and
interesting. But then they feltthe need to make some commentary
(12:24):
about another person notknowing, because this is the
thing. When you send somethingout into the world, you have no
idea how the other person on theother end of that thing is going
to receive it, what state ofmind they're going to be in,
what's going on in their life?Maybe they had a loss, maybe
(12:47):
they had something awful happen.Maybe they're struggling with
their mental illness. With amental illness, maybe their
mental health isn't in the bestplace. Maybe they're going
through a divorce, maybe one oftheir kids is sick. Maybe
they're struggling with alcohol.Isn't like you don't know. So
why? Why go out of your way todo this? And this is what I was
(13:09):
trying to get at. I distractedmyself. Do you know how many
steps a person had to take? Youhad to go, you had to listen to
it right then you had to decide,oh, my opinion is important
enough that now I gotta look upsomebody's email address. I have
to write this whole thing out,and then I have to hit send. I'm
like, at any one of those mockis, at any one of those points,
(13:32):
this person could have said, No,I don't need to send this. I
don't need to say this. But no,the internet and social media
has convinced everybody thatthey have a voice, which, yes,
we do all have a voice, but man,this social media does not teach
you that you might want to thinkabout how you use that voice and
(13:53):
what you say to another humanbeing, what you type, what you
write, and I'm like, I'm just sofucking over it. I gotta tell
you, like, every like, justabout, I'm not kidding, like,
once a day, I probably think tomyself, yeah, my days online are
kind of like my days on socialmedia are, like, highly
numbered. I don't post nearly asmuch as I used to. And the thing
(14:16):
is, is that people are supermean to me in my comments. Once
in a blue moon, somebody sayssomething that I'm like, you're
like, whatever, and I just leaveit there so other people can see
them acting like an asshole,right? I'm like, whatever, you
know, but people aren't, peopledon't like take a lot of time to
send me comments about things ina bad or negative way. It's not
(14:41):
that it's it's not that thathasn't always been true. Trust
me, I have a hate I have a Ihave a file folder of things
that I have received over theyears, um, where people have
said and done some, like, prettyuncool things, and just so I can
remember, like, in case it likeI'm talking like people.
Stealing, like, verbatim my bio.People stealing verbatim stuff
(15:05):
from my website. Like, I'mtalking about that kind of
stuff, right? But it's just sounnecessary. And then going back
to my friend, right? And I'mtalking about this because I
want each of us to just slow ourroll a little bit to slow, like,
to create a greater gap betweenwhat you think and what you say,
(15:29):
what you think and what you do,what you think
Unknown (15:33):
and what you write,
Karen Kenney (15:36):
because you're not always aware of how your words
are going to affect anotherperson. And I'm always like, you
know, I'm a kid from, like, theMister Rogers era and and I also
grew up right in Lawrence,Massachusetts, in Boston,
Massachusetts. It's literally,like, the capital of, like, mass
holism, but the capital ofsarcasm, like taking digs at
(15:59):
each other, tearing each otherdown. I've often talked about
how you know where I grew up ifyou had a if you had a
vulnerable, vulnerable spot, ifyou had, like, a tender spot, we
weren't taught that if somebodyhas a tender spot, that our
reaction and our response shouldbe that we're tender with that
spot. No, if we find out as kidsthat you had a tend to spot. We
(16:22):
saw that you were vulnerable. Wepressed on that spot. We
attacked that spot, you know.And as I've gotten older, I
don't find sarcasm taking cheapshots at people. It's like, how
do I say it? It's a veryconflicting thing for me,
because I'll be like, Oh, that'sthe sound of my people. Like, I
(16:42):
get it. I know how thisoperates, and I've been trying
to extract myself from thatbehavior for many, many, many,
many years, because I don'tthink that we need to be mean to
each other to show affection. Iunderstand why we do it. I
understand how it happens. I'vebeen on the receiving and giving
end of it, and as I continue togrow and mature, hopefully
(17:06):
emotionally. You know, becausebeing sarcastic is easy,
knocking each other down iseasy. You know, loving each
other that takes real thatloving each other and being
vulnerable that takes realstrength. It doesn't take any
strength at all to have afucking wise ass mouth. You know
what I mean? Okay, here'sexample number two. Remember I
(17:28):
said my friend was bummedbecause she's like, I got these
two I got these two comments.This woman wrote to her and said
this, I was excited to be ableto see this and to participate
in the quote, unquotemasterclass, which turned out to
be a misnomer. Oh no, I justwant to bang my face off my
microphone, which turns out tobe a misnomer. Okay, let's just
(17:51):
educate my friend on what shewas actually doing and what her
intention was, okay? And we'reback. This woman continues to
say this was an hour longinfomercial, and I can't point
to a single takeaway that I canuse in my life. I am
disappointed, to be honest. Andonce again, once again, this
(18:17):
person felt the need I just thisis me in my head, motherfucker,
this was a free hour long thing.You could have left at the five
minute mark, the 10 minute mark,the 15 minute mark, the 20
minute mark, the 25 minute mark,you could have left at any time
if you didn't think it was worthyour time. But no, you stayed
(18:38):
for the whole thing. And I'mthinking to myself, Why? Why? So
you could just stay and thenlater go write this fucking
email so that you could let thisother person know how you feel,
as if your opinion matters thatmuch. Why be an asshole when you
(19:02):
could just be quiet. She couldhave just said, Hey, that wasn't
for me. She could even havethought to herself something
like, Oh, that was a waste of mytime, in her opinion.
Unknown (19:11):
But why reach out and say that? And
Karen Kenney (19:16):
it's so fascinating because another
person watched it and said, thiswas informative and interesting.
So do you see what I'm sayinghere? And you know what's
fascinating about this? When myfriend forwarded me the email, I
looked at the name, and I lookat the email address, and so I
was, like, interesting. So Igoogled it. She doesn't even
(19:37):
know that I did this. I Googledit. The woman that sent this
email, she works at a Christianschool. I looked her up, I found
her name, I found her picture, Ifound what her role was at this
school. And you know, what's sofascinating, it's so fascinating
is that this Christian schoolthat this woman works at, do you
know what their missionstatement is? Listen to this.
(19:59):
Here's our mission statement,this Episcopal blah, blah blah,
blah blah Christian School itdevelops, this is its mission
statement. It develops instudents, a love of learning,
Respect for self and others,faith in God, and a sense of
service to the world community.And the one that jumped off the
(20:23):
page for me here was respect forothers, because I'm not seeing a
lot of jesusy kind of responsehere. I don't think Jesus would
have sent this email. I don'tthink somebody who, like, you
know, is in the Christian faithand is pretending to be all
Christian. E all Christ like Ithink to myself, I'm actually a
(20:46):
fan. I actually wish. I actuallywish, right back in the day,
remember all the WW, JDbracelets, the What would Jesus
do? Bracelets? I never had one,but I saw them all the time. And
I just think people should goback to wearing them. And before
they open their big fat mouths,they take a look at their wrists
(21:06):
and they see that WWJD, becauseI guarantee you this, about 90%
of their shenanigans, about 90%of their bullshit, would be
stopped right in its tracks ifthey were wicked honest with
themselves and said, Would Jesusthink this? Would Jesus say
this? Would Jesus Do this? WouldJesus feel the need to let this
(21:26):
brother or this sister knowwhere they failed? Isn't there
some quote about, like, beforeyou try to point out the
splinter in somebody else's eye,like, look at the log in yours.
Like, look at the fucking treein your own eyeball. I mean, I'm
just fascinated. I'm justfascinated. And the thing is, is
that people think that, becausethere's a comment section, that
(21:50):
their commentary is necessary,and it's not, and it's not, you
guys, you guys. You know, I'vedone an episode before about the
three gates. And it's this ideaI first learned about it through
my meditation teacher, ecknattaschwaren, but it goes back. It's
like, it goes back to, like theSufi. It's like old old, right?
(22:12):
And it's basically like yourwords, your words, should pass
through three gates before yousay a thing. You ask yourself,
Is it true? Is it kind? Is itnecessary? Now, while these
opinions may be true to thesetwo people who felt the need to
send these they were not kind,and they certainly weren't
(22:33):
necessary. They would not havepassed the Jesus test, right?
And they certainly wouldn't havepassed the test of, hey, right,
what I call being in the kindKids Club. I'm from a generation
of Mister Rogers. Mr. Rogerstaught us how to be kind to
others, right? Bob Ross, you cansee him back there on my little
seat next to Priscilla, right?He taught us to be kind to
(22:57):
ourselves. And then Steve Irwin,we call it like the holy trinity
of kindness. Mr. Rogers waslike, be kind to others, be kind
to your neighbors, right? BobRoss was like, be kind to
yourself. Oh, you made amistake. Well, it's birds now,
right? And then Steve Irwintaught us how to be kind to
animals. But something islacking in this day and age. And
here's a reality. You can getmad at me or not if you're
(23:20):
somebody who listens to this andyou're a Trump fan, but he is
reality when the President ofthe United States, when I look
back and like, what was it? 2016when he mocked, when he mocked a
reporter with a disability, andpeople thought that that was
okay, because, like, that shouldhave ended his chances of
running the free world rightthen and there, when you saw
(23:43):
what a colossal, colossalasshole move that was, and you
think, Oh, this is this person'sway of being like he thinks
that's okay. And the fact thatwe exist in an environment where
people think that cruelty iscool, and we're seeing more and
more and more of it in theworld. Because when the person
(24:04):
who quote, unquote is theexample of the one who like
people, and not all of us, butpeople voted into office, and
people think that, Oh, thatbehavior, that way of being, is
okay, it just spreads a message.It just spreads a message, and
we're in a world right now wherepeople care more about clicks
(24:25):
than class, like being classy.Do you know what I mean? Like,
like not being a piece of shit?Like, they care more about like
bait, like clicking, likeputting up the headlines and
tricking people, because theywant to get the clicks, they
want to get the likes, they wantto get the follows right. They
care more about going viral thantheir virtues, who and how
(24:45):
they're being in the world. Theydon't care how their content
like, what content is gettingthem to go viral. They care more
about the comments than they doabout having a code I'm going to
do a whole podcast. Us abouthaving a code. I jokingly will
often say, man's gotta have acode. What's your code? I'll say
(25:07):
to people, right? And we seem tobe in a code of cruelty lately.
We seem to be in a code of like,well, my opinion matters, and I
have to let everybody know. No,no. Why be an asshole when you
can just be quiet. Ask yourself,is this true? Is it kind? Is it
(25:27):
necessary, if you're a person offaith, ask yourself, What would
Jesus do? Is what I'm about tosay? Why am I saying it? Why am
I about to say this thing andthink about the person, because
there is a person on the otherside of that screen, there is a
person on the other side of thatcomment box, there is a person
(25:50):
on the other side of that emailaddress. And I don't know you
might want to be asking yourselfif you are truly representing
yourself and how and who youwant to be in the world. I don't
know. I've been talking now. Idon't even know if this one is
short. It certainly doesn't,hasn't felt sweet, because I
really just, I'm kind of overit. I'm just kind of over the
(26:13):
lackadaisical attitude thatpeople have with slinging around
their unkind words and theirmeanness and their cruelty and
their comments, their snidecomments. You know, just as I've
talked about this 1000 times,like just being vegan in the
world, I don't know what it isabout vegans and why people get
(26:35):
so threatened by a group ofpeople who are choosing not to
harm animals. It does somethingto the I mean, I actually know
what's going on. I becausethere's so much cognitive
dissonance in the world, becausewe are a country, especially
here in America, where peoplespend so much money on their
pets, and they say that theylove animals, they say that they
(26:56):
love animals while they're stillpaying somebody else to murder
them and rape them and beat themand abuse them and kill them so
they can have a burger. There'sso much cognitive dissonance in
the world, and so you're aperson like, who, like, you just
post like a vegan recipe, or youpost something about animal
cruelty, and people go crazy,and then they go in your
comments and they write thingslike, bacon. Mmm, bacon. I'm
(27:18):
like, what is it about ourcompassion and kindness towards
our animal friends that makespeople so threatened? I know
what it is. It's their owncognitive dissident shit, it's
their own guilt, it's their ownshame, it's their own weirdness,
but they have to deflect it and,like, throw it on back at the
vegans. Right? It's so crazy tome. So so much you guys, so much
(27:43):
of what I talk about on thisshow is about like taking some
personal responsibility for theway you're showing up in the
world, for the kind of life thatyou're leading, for the things
that you're saying, the thingsthat you're doing, how you're
spending your money, how you'retalking, how you're speaking,
how you're all of it like wehave to be the adults now, and
(28:05):
we have to take someresponsibility and take a look
around. So if you're somebodywho's been just, just like,
using the comment section to saywhatever you want, not thinking
about, is this kind? Is thistrue? Is it necessary, if you're
doing that, in yourrelationships, in your
friendships, with your family,like whatever, just understand
(28:28):
that your words have power. Thethings that you say, they can
affect other people, and itdoesn't kill us, like be a part
of the kind kids club. You know,I think I talked about that. I
got this little I saw thisreally cute. This is a while.
This is before, before thetarget boycotts, right? But back
(28:49):
in the day, I found this cutelittle
lunch box, and it said kind kidsclub on it, and I was like, I'm
in the kind kids club. I wantthat, right? And that's how I
kind of think about what thenest is, right? My group
mentoring program, my spiritualmentoring group program, it's
like it's for the kind kids it'sthe kind kids club. It's for the
people who just don't want tooperate status quo, all this
(29:11):
bullshit, all this meanness inthe world. It's people who
actually want to takeresponsibility for who they are
and how they're being and whythey're being that way, and
knowing their own shit, likeowning, owning both their
brilliance and their bullshit.You know, so many people don't
want to take a look at the factthat they're just walking around
reacting out of fear all thetime. We have an opportunity to
(29:32):
double down on love. We have anopportunity to double down on
love, and the world needs it nowmore than ever. I can go on. I
can just go on and on and onabout this, but I'm over it. I'm
just over it. I'm over peoplebeing unkind to one another.
It's just not even interesting.It's not sexy, it's not cool,
it's not interesting, it'sgross, is what it is. It's
(29:53):
immature and it's gross, and itshows absolutely no discipline.
Lack of discipline if you're notable to. It. Now this doesn't
mean that you don't get to haveopinions, you guys, you get to
have opinions. And I'm notsaying that you don't ever speak
up, because there is a time anda place, but man, do people just
feel the need to just say theiropinion about things when it's
(30:16):
just totally unnecessary. It'snot needed, and I see the
effects of it. I work withpeople too, right? I mean, I
grew up in a household where alot of unnecessary, unkind,
cruel, mean, fucking things weresaid too. You know, I was a kid.
I was a byproduct of thatenvironment, and I've had to do
a lot of work, a lot of workover the years, right, to come
(30:40):
to a place of, like, self love,right? Like, getting back to a
place where I was like, oh, youknow, like I am actually
lovable. Oh, gosh, all right, Ijust gonna end it there. I'm
just gonna end it there, for thelove of all things holy wherever
you go. I mean, think about howi the whole premise of this show
(31:04):
is to spread more love in theworld, to use spirituality and
storytelling to help people tounderstand themselves more. When
you understand yourself more,and you start to take a look
around, you start to understandother people more, and you start
to understand that all we wantto do is be loved and accepted
and belong and to feel like thatwe matter, and our words are so
(31:25):
powerful, and we could be usingour words to build each other up
rather than tear each otherdown. So wherever you go, may
you leave the people better theanimals better right yourself,
better the environment in theplanet, better than how you
(31:48):
first found them. Think aboutthat is my being here and the
quality of my thoughts, my wordsand my actions going to leave
this person, this program, thisthing better for my having been
here, wherever you go, may youand your energy and your love
(32:10):
and your presence, yourkindness, be a blessing. Bye,
you.
Hey, welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I hope
you're doing super duper. I hopeyou're doing fantastic. And I'm
going to try to keep this suckershort and maybe not totally
sweet, but sure, certainly goingto do my best to just kind of
keep it kind of on the, on theon the shorter side. Okay, let's
just dive right into it. I'msure that you saw the title of
(00:24):
this episode right and butthere's a reason why I'm finally
doing this episode. I've talkedabout this, this topic, in
written form online severaltimes. I don't know if I've ever
done I looked back. I'm like,after like, 320 some shows. I'm
like, How did I have I talkedabout this before, but maybe not
(00:45):
in this particular way. Andwhat's inspiring this episode
is, first of all, just humanityand where it's at right now,
also the state of online socialmedia platforms where people
just feel like they can say anddo whatever they want to do. But
also, on a more personal level,I was recently talking with a
(01:07):
friend, and this is really thehot beat of the inspiration of
this episode. I was recentlytalking with a friend, and
they've been going through somethings, right? Some stuff had
been happening in their family,like, you know, they there was a
loved one that had died, like,back to back, a loved one that
had died, and then anotherelderly relative, like, fell
down, and they didn't know ifthey were, you know, they were
(01:30):
in the hospital. And, you know,we don't know what the, you
know, the recoup time is goingto be, if they're going to ever
be the same again. Becausethat's something that happens,
right with older folks, issometimes, once they fall, they
don't always recover. That's nottrue for everybody, but Right?
And they were just like, theyhave a lot of lot of kind of
balls in the air, juggling a lotof things. And they were just
(01:51):
feeling a little rundown. Butthen under the under that, you
know, in addition to that, Ishould say I could just hear
that there was maybe a little, Idon't know if it was sadness or
whatever. And as we continue totalk, they just kind of made a
quick statement of, yeah. Andthen I just got a couple of
comments on my thing that werelike, and I was like, Excuse me,
(02:14):
right? Because one of the thingsabout me is I'm very protective,
first of all, of animals. Youall know that, but I'm also very
protective of people I love andmy friends, etc, and I don't
like, I don't like when peopleare mean, period. I don't like
bullies, right? I don't likethat at all. I certainly don't
like it when people are doing itin a way where it's totally
uncalled for and unnecessary. SoI basically just dug for a
(02:37):
little more information, and Isaid, Hey, what's going on? And
we can all relate. I'm sure thedetails of this story might be
slightly different, but Iguarantee you, if you if you've
ever owned a business of anykind, if you've been in a
relationship of any kind, ifyou're a creative of any kind,
anytime you try, have tried toput something out into the
world, whether it was a projector a product or a program or
(03:02):
promoting something, or you justshared your feelings, or
something you had written, orsomething you painted, or music
you create, whatever, when youtake something from inside of
yourself, and then you have thecourage, you you have the
courage, and you're brave enoughto share it and put it out into
The world, especially the waythe world is right now, and
(03:23):
we'll get to that in a second.You know, that takes a lot of
vulnerability, it takes a lot ofcourage, it takes a lot of
chutzpah, it takes a lot ofballs, it takes a lot of grit to
be like, Okay, I'm gonna, like,take this thing that I created
and share it. Okay? So she hasbeen doing like a webinar, and
she was putting it out there,trying to help women with
(03:45):
menopausal symptoms or whatever.Okay? And then I said, Well,
what did these people say toyou? And she said, you know,
well, they didn't verbally sayit. They sent me emails. And I
was like, Okay, do you feelcomfortable sharing with me what
they said? And she said, yeah,and she shared that with me. And
(04:06):
if you, if you're not watchingthis, you can't see right now,
like I'm kind of pinching thebridge of my nose where it
connects to, like my forehead,cuz it's so painful to me.
People, sometimes look people, Ilove you. You are my brothers
and sisters. You are God's kidsas well. But sometimes you act
like colossal assholes, myselfincluded. And I try and like, I
(04:28):
really try hard, like, I reallydo my best to be so mindful, so
aware, less mindful and morelike aware, like, of what comes
out of my mouth and what myfingers type. You know what I
mean? Like, like, what I amtaking from my mind, out of my I
would say, head, hot hands,right? And also, sometimes your
(04:51):
pie hole. It's like, what iscoming out of your mouth.
Because a lot of times peopleare saying things and writing
things and doing things, andthey are not thinking. About the
consequences of them beingthemselves. They are not
thinking about how that thing isgoing to land. So this person
here, and I said to her, send mewhat they wrote to you, because
(05:12):
I'm going to read them on theair, because I want people to
see what it's like to be acreator, to be a creative, to be
somebody who's trying to do goodin the world and help people
with problems to literally showup with solutions, and then this
is how some people do Now, mindyou, this was a free they didn't
(05:33):
even pay any money for it. Thiswas a free webinar, okay, so at
least this person started with,just wanted to let you know how
informative and interesting themenopause live webinar was.
Okay. Then, then they say myhusband even watched it with me.
(05:53):
They could have just stoppedthere. They could have just
like, said that said, hey, itwas informative. It was
interesting. Thank you. Even myhusband, like watched it with
me. End of email. But no, no,they felt like they had to go on
to say the following. My onlycomment is now as soon as
(06:17):
somebody says that, that's likewhen people use the word, but I
love you, but, yeah, that wasreally good. But my only comment
is, is a faction, right? So it'slike an offshoot of that kind of
thing, you know, that some shitis about to roll downhill, okay?
My only comment is, we came veryclose to having a drinking game
(06:42):
and taking a sip every time yousaid the word right. Oh my god,
right. OMG, you said that wordmore than 1000 times, I would
bet. So I'm glad we didn't dothe sipping game, because we
would have been completelydrunk. Thanks again for the
seminar, or is it a webinar?Well, you know what I mean, I'm
(07:07):
reading this, and I just want totake one of these pens and,
like, stab myself in the eyeballwith it, because this is so
painful to me, because guys hearme out, you are entitled to have
an opinion. You know that oldsaying, you know opinions are
like assholes, like everybody'sgot one, right, but they're
nowhere, nowhere, nowhere. Is itrequired? Or do you need to
(07:34):
share said opinion with otherpeople, especially if they
didn't ask for your opinion, foryour feedback, for your POV and
point of view. You know what Imean? It's like you had to go
ahead and ruin the kindness ofyour first sentences because you
(07:55):
couldn't your ego. Your ego justcouldn't resist letting that
other person know, right? Get aslip, a little meanness in
there, a little sarcasm, alittle, oh, my only comment is,
you know, here's the thing thatI will tell you,
there are a ton of things likepodcasts and stuff out there.
(08:18):
There's like, millions andmillions and millions and
millions of podcasts. Do youknow how many podcasts actually
survived the first three? Like,it's something like, there's an
obscene amount of people whostart podcasts, but more than,
like, a third like, whatever thenumber is, let's say it was 3
million, right? Only, like, amillion actually survive after
(08:40):
the third episode. You know why?Because people realize how hard
it is to put yourself out there,to keep coming up with content,
to keep coming up with wayswhere you're quote, unquote,
adding value to the world, andyou're benefiting other people,
and you're trying to, like, helpthem and do something right? So
when another human being goesout of their way to offer
(09:02):
something for free. Now look awebinar or a quote, unquote
seminar is not designed to giveyou all of the answers. It's
designed to give you enoughinformation that you can see if
this program, this product, thisthing, is going to be a good fit
for you, if you resonate withthe person leading it or
(09:25):
teaching it, if you walk awaywith at least one thing and you
go, like, okay, that's reallyhelpful. That's really good
information. I'm in like, I'mgoing to give this person a
shot. I'm going to spend alittle money. I'm going to
whatever, right? Because I havesome symptoms. I have a problem.
I don't know the solution. Thisperson seems like they do. So to
think that you're just going togo into a free webinar and like,
(09:47):
get all your questions answeredis, like, obnoxious. But the
fact that this person didn'teven have a problem with the
information, they said it wasinteresting as well, but they
had to make a comment. Commentabout the way that this person
talks and what I was trying tosay about also, in addition to
having a podcast, we all haverhythms in ways that we speak in
(10:12):
words that we say. Some peoplesay the word um a lot. Some
people say the word like a lot.Some people say the word right a
lot, some people say, does thatmake sense a lot? We all have
these little quirks to the waythat we talk, and there are a
lot of people who do onlinepresentations of all kinds who
(10:33):
don't like to sound human. Theydon't want their humanity to
slip through, so they are highlypolished and edited content,
right? They hire a whole team,or they themselves spend hours
going in and taking out everypause and every um and every
whatever. And I've never donethat with my show, what you see
(10:54):
is what you get. We tack on anintro, we tack on an outro, but
you just get me as I am evenright now, like, Look at my hair
and my face, right? I just gotback from a run, and I'm still
kind of, like, finishing down,sweating. So, like, what you see
is what you get. And first ofall, for my friend to go out
there and to create this thingand to put it out into the
(11:16):
world, right? If that's what yousee, I just said the word right,
if you're, if you're if that'swhat you're gonna focus on,
you're focusing on the wrongshit that she said the word
right, but the fact that youfeel the need to comment on it,
to go out of your way to try tomake somebody feel whatever the
word is stupid, not good enough,to shame them, to make them
(11:38):
insecure, to Pull them down anotch, whatever it is. And I'm
not saying that this person wentout of their way to consciously
be an asshole, but again, why bean asshole when you could just
be quiet? It didn't like thinkof all the steps that this
person had to go through. Theysigned up for the webinar. It
(12:01):
caught their attention. Theythought it was interesting
enough that they signed up forit, like gave away an hour and
90 minutes, whatever it was oftheir time. And it's an hour, I
think it was like an hour long.So they do an hour of it, and
afterwards, they thought, Oh,that was informative and
interesting. But then they feltthe need to make some commentary
(12:24):
about another person notknowing, because this is the
thing. When you send somethingout into the world, you have no
idea how the other person on theother end of that thing is going
to receive it, what state ofmind they're going to be in,
what's going on in their life?Maybe they had a loss, maybe
(12:47):
they had something awful happen.Maybe they're struggling with
their mental illness. With amental illness, maybe their
mental health isn't in the bestplace. Maybe they're going
through a divorce, maybe one oftheir kids is sick. Maybe
they're struggling with alcohol.Isn't like you don't know. So
why? Why go out of your way todo this? And this is what I was
(13:09):
trying to get at. I distractedmyself. Do you know how many
steps a person had to take? Youhad to go, you had to listen to
it right then you had to decide,oh, my opinion is important
enough that now I gotta look upsomebody's email address. I have
to write this whole thing out,and then I have to hit send. I'm
like, at any one of those mockis, at any one of those points,
(13:32):
this person could have said, No,I don't need to send this. I
don't need to say this. But no,the internet and social media
has convinced everybody thatthey have a voice, which, yes,
we do all have a voice, but man,this social media does not teach
you that you might want to thinkabout how you use that voice and
(13:53):
what you say to another humanbeing, what you type, what you
write, and I'm like, I'm just sofucking over it. I gotta tell
you, like, every like, justabout, I'm not kidding, like,
once a day, I probably think tomyself, yeah, my days online are
kind of like my days on socialmedia are, like, highly
numbered. I don't post nearly asmuch as I used to. And the thing
(14:16):
is, is that people are supermean to me in my comments. Once
in a blue moon, somebody sayssomething that I'm like, you're
like, whatever, and I just leaveit there so other people can see
them acting like an asshole,right? I'm like, whatever, you
know, but people aren't, peopledon't like take a lot of time to
send me comments about things ina bad or negative way. It's not
(14:41):
that it's it's not that thathasn't always been true. Trust
me, I have a hate I have a Ihave a file folder of things
that I have received over theyears, um, where people have
said and done some, like, prettyuncool things, and just so I can
remember, like, in case it likeI'm talking like people.
Stealing, like, verbatim my bio.People stealing verbatim stuff
(15:05):
from my website. Like, I'mtalking about that kind of
stuff, right? But it's just sounnecessary. And then going back
to my friend, right? And I'mtalking about this because I
want each of us to just slow ourroll a little bit to slow, like,
to create a greater gap betweenwhat you think and what you say,
(15:29):
what you think and what you do,what you think
Unknown (15:33):
and what you write,
Karen Kenney (15:36):
because you're not always aware of how your words
are going to affect anotherperson. And I'm always like, you
know, I'm a kid from, like, theMister Rogers era and and I also
grew up right in Lawrence,Massachusetts, in Boston,
Massachusetts. It's literally,like, the capital of, like, mass
holism, but the capital ofsarcasm, like taking digs at
(15:59):
each other, tearing each otherdown. I've often talked about
how you know where I grew up ifyou had a if you had a
vulnerable, vulnerable spot, ifyou had, like, a tender spot, we
weren't taught that if somebodyhas a tender spot, that our
reaction and our response shouldbe that we're tender with that
spot. No, if we find out as kidsthat you had a tend to spot. We
(16:22):
saw that you were vulnerable. Wepressed on that spot. We
attacked that spot, you know.And as I've gotten older, I
don't find sarcasm taking cheapshots at people. It's like, how
do I say it? It's a veryconflicting thing for me,
because I'll be like, Oh, that'sthe sound of my people. Like, I
(16:42):
get it. I know how thisoperates, and I've been trying
to extract myself from thatbehavior for many, many, many,
many years, because I don'tthink that we need to be mean to
each other to show affection. Iunderstand why we do it. I
understand how it happens. I'vebeen on the receiving and giving
end of it, and as I continue togrow and mature, hopefully
(17:06):
emotionally. You know, becausebeing sarcastic is easy,
knocking each other down iseasy. You know, loving each
other that takes real thatloving each other and being
vulnerable that takes realstrength. It doesn't take any
strength at all to have afucking wise ass mouth. You know
what I mean? Okay, here'sexample number two. Remember I
(17:28):
said my friend was bummedbecause she's like, I got these
two I got these two comments.This woman wrote to her and said
this, I was excited to be ableto see this and to participate
in the quote, unquotemasterclass, which turned out to
be a misnomer. Oh no, I justwant to bang my face off my
microphone, which turns out tobe a misnomer. Okay, let's just
(17:51):
educate my friend on what shewas actually doing and what her
intention was, okay? And we'reback. This woman continues to
say this was an hour longinfomercial, and I can't point
to a single takeaway that I canuse in my life. I am
disappointed, to be honest. Andonce again, once again, this
(18:17):
person felt the need I just thisis me in my head, motherfucker,
this was a free hour long thing.You could have left at the five
minute mark, the 10 minute mark,the 15 minute mark, the 20
minute mark, the 25 minute mark,you could have left at any time
if you didn't think it was worthyour time. But no, you stayed
(18:38):
for the whole thing. And I'mthinking to myself, Why? Why? So
you could just stay and thenlater go write this fucking
email so that you could let thisother person know how you feel,
as if your opinion matters thatmuch. Why be an asshole when you
(19:02):
could just be quiet. She couldhave just said, Hey, that wasn't
for me. She could even havethought to herself something
like, Oh, that was a waste of mytime, in her opinion.
Unknown (19:11):
But why reach out and say that? And
Karen Kenney (19:16):
it's so fascinating because another
person watched it and said, thiswas informative and interesting.
So do you see what I'm sayinghere? And you know what's
fascinating about this? When myfriend forwarded me the email, I
looked at the name, and I lookat the email address, and so I
was, like, interesting. So Igoogled it. She doesn't even
(19:37):
know that I did this. I Googledit. The woman that sent this
email, she works at a Christianschool. I looked her up, I found
her name, I found her picture, Ifound what her role was at this
school. And you know, what's sofascinating, it's so fascinating
is that this Christian schoolthat this woman works at, do you
know what their missionstatement is? Listen to this.
(19:59):
Here's our mission statement,this Episcopal blah, blah blah,
blah blah Christian School itdevelops, this is its mission
statement. It develops instudents, a love of learning,
Respect for self and others,faith in God, and a sense of
service to the world community.And the one that jumped off the
(20:23):
page for me here was respect forothers, because I'm not seeing a
lot of jesusy kind of responsehere. I don't think Jesus would
have sent this email. I don'tthink somebody who, like, you
know, is in the Christian faithand is pretending to be all
Christian. E all Christ like Ithink to myself, I'm actually a
(20:46):
fan. I actually wish. I actuallywish, right back in the day,
remember all the WW, JDbracelets, the What would Jesus
do? Bracelets? I never had one,but I saw them all the time. And
I just think people should goback to wearing them. And before
they open their big fat mouths,they take a look at their wrists
(21:06):
and they see that WWJD, becauseI guarantee you this, about 90%
of their shenanigans, about 90%of their bullshit, would be
stopped right in its tracks ifthey were wicked honest with
themselves and said, Would Jesusthink this? Would Jesus say
this? Would Jesus Do this? WouldJesus feel the need to let this
(21:26):
brother or this sister knowwhere they failed? Isn't there
some quote about, like, beforeyou try to point out the
splinter in somebody else's eye,like, look at the log in yours.
Like, look at the fucking treein your own eyeball. I mean, I'm
just fascinated. I'm justfascinated. And the thing is, is
that people think that, becausethere's a comment section, that
(21:50):
their commentary is necessary,and it's not, and it's not, you
guys, you guys. You know, I'vedone an episode before about the
three gates. And it's this ideaI first learned about it through
my meditation teacher, ecknattaschwaren, but it goes back. It's
like, it goes back to, like theSufi. It's like old old, right?
(22:12):
And it's basically like yourwords, your words, should pass
through three gates before yousay a thing. You ask yourself,
Is it true? Is it kind? Is itnecessary? Now, while these
opinions may be true to thesetwo people who felt the need to
send these they were not kind,and they certainly weren't
(22:33):
necessary. They would not havepassed the Jesus test, right?
And they certainly wouldn't havepassed the test of, hey, right,
what I call being in the kindKids Club. I'm from a generation
of Mister Rogers. Mr. Rogerstaught us how to be kind to
others, right? Bob Ross, you cansee him back there on my little
seat next to Priscilla, right?He taught us to be kind to
(22:57):
ourselves. And then Steve Irwin,we call it like the holy trinity
of kindness. Mr. Rogers waslike, be kind to others, be kind
to your neighbors, right? BobRoss was like, be kind to
yourself. Oh, you made amistake. Well, it's birds now,
right? And then Steve Irwintaught us how to be kind to
animals. But something islacking in this day and age. And
here's a reality. You can getmad at me or not if you're
(23:20):
somebody who listens to this andyou're a Trump fan, but he is
reality when the President ofthe United States, when I look
back and like, what was it? 2016when he mocked, when he mocked a
reporter with a disability, andpeople thought that that was
okay, because, like, that shouldhave ended his chances of
running the free world rightthen and there, when you saw
(23:43):
what a colossal, colossalasshole move that was, and you
think, Oh, this is this person'sway of being like he thinks
that's okay. And the fact thatwe exist in an environment where
people think that cruelty iscool, and we're seeing more and
more and more of it in theworld. Because when the person
(24:04):
who quote, unquote is theexample of the one who like
people, and not all of us, butpeople voted into office, and
people think that, Oh, thatbehavior, that way of being, is
okay, it just spreads a message.It just spreads a message, and
we're in a world right now wherepeople care more about clicks
(24:25):
than class, like being classy.Do you know what I mean? Like,
like not being a piece of shit?Like, they care more about like
bait, like clicking, likeputting up the headlines and
tricking people, because theywant to get the clicks, they
want to get the likes, they wantto get the follows right. They
care more about going viral thantheir virtues, who and how
(24:45):
they're being in the world. Theydon't care how their content
like, what content is gettingthem to go viral. They care more
about the comments than they doabout having a code I'm going to
do a whole podcast. Us abouthaving a code. I jokingly will
often say, man's gotta have acode. What's your code? I'll say
(25:07):
to people, right? And we seem tobe in a code of cruelty lately.
We seem to be in a code of like,well, my opinion matters, and I
have to let everybody know. No,no. Why be an asshole when you
can just be quiet. Ask yourself,is this true? Is it kind? Is it
(25:27):
necessary, if you're a person offaith, ask yourself, What would
Jesus do? Is what I'm about tosay? Why am I saying it? Why am
I about to say this thing andthink about the person, because
there is a person on the otherside of that screen, there is a
person on the other side of thatcomment box, there is a person
(25:50):
on the other side of that emailaddress. And I don't know you
might want to be asking yourselfif you are truly representing
yourself and how and who youwant to be in the world. I don't
know. I've been talking now. Idon't even know if this one is
short. It certainly doesn't,hasn't felt sweet, because I
really just, I'm kind of overit. I'm just kind of over the
(26:13):
lackadaisical attitude thatpeople have with slinging around
their unkind words and theirmeanness and their cruelty and
their comments, their snidecomments. You know, just as I've
talked about this 1000 times,like just being vegan in the
world, I don't know what it isabout vegans and why people get
(26:35):
so threatened by a group ofpeople who are choosing not to
harm animals. It does somethingto the I mean, I actually know
what's going on. I becausethere's so much cognitive
dissonance in the world, becausewe are a country, especially
here in America, where peoplespend so much money on their
pets, and they say that theylove animals, they say that they
(26:56):
love animals while they're stillpaying somebody else to murder
them and rape them and beat themand abuse them and kill them so
they can have a burger. There'sso much cognitive dissonance in
the world, and so you're aperson like, who, like, you just
post like a vegan recipe, or youpost something about animal
cruelty, and people go crazy,and then they go in your
comments and they write thingslike, bacon. Mmm, bacon. I'm
(27:18):
like, what is it about ourcompassion and kindness towards
our animal friends that makespeople so threatened? I know
what it is. It's their owncognitive dissident shit, it's
their own guilt, it's their ownshame, it's their own weirdness,
but they have to deflect it and,like, throw it on back at the
vegans. Right? It's so crazy tome. So so much you guys, so much
(27:43):
of what I talk about on thisshow is about like taking some
personal responsibility for theway you're showing up in the
world, for the kind of life thatyou're leading, for the things
that you're saying, the thingsthat you're doing, how you're
spending your money, how you'retalking, how you're speaking,
how you're all of it like wehave to be the adults now, and
(28:05):
we have to take someresponsibility and take a look
around. So if you're somebodywho's been just, just like,
using the comment section to saywhatever you want, not thinking
about, is this kind? Is thistrue? Is it necessary, if you're
doing that, in yourrelationships, in your
friendships, with your family,like whatever, just understand
(28:28):
that your words have power. Thethings that you say, they can
affect other people, and itdoesn't kill us, like be a part
of the kind kids club. You know,I think I talked about that. I
got this little I saw thisreally cute. This is a while.
This is before, before thetarget boycotts, right? But back
(28:49):
in the day, I found this cutelittle
lunch box, and it said kind kidsclub on it, and I was like, I'm
in the kind kids club. I wantthat, right? And that's how I
kind of think about what thenest is, right? My group
mentoring program, my spiritualmentoring group program, it's
like it's for the kind kids it'sthe kind kids club. It's for the
people who just don't want tooperate status quo, all this
(29:11):
bullshit, all this meanness inthe world. It's people who
actually want to takeresponsibility for who they are
and how they're being and whythey're being that way, and
knowing their own shit, likeowning, owning both their
brilliance and their bullshit.You know, so many people don't
want to take a look at the factthat they're just walking around
reacting out of fear all thetime. We have an opportunity to
(29:32):
double down on love. We have anopportunity to double down on
love, and the world needs it nowmore than ever. I can go on. I
can just go on and on and onabout this, but I'm over it. I'm
just over it. I'm over peoplebeing unkind to one another.
It's just not even interesting.It's not sexy, it's not cool,
it's not interesting, it'sgross, is what it is. It's
(29:53):
immature and it's gross, and itshows absolutely no discipline.
Lack of discipline if you're notable to. It. Now this doesn't
mean that you don't get to haveopinions, you guys, you get to
have opinions. And I'm notsaying that you don't ever speak
up, because there is a time anda place, but man, do people just
feel the need to just say theiropinion about things when it's
(30:16):
just totally unnecessary. It'snot needed, and I see the
effects of it. I work withpeople too, right? I mean, I
grew up in a household where alot of unnecessary, unkind,
cruel, mean, fucking things weresaid too. You know, I was a kid.
I was a byproduct of thatenvironment, and I've had to do
a lot of work, a lot of workover the years, right, to come
(30:40):
to a place of, like, self love,right? Like, getting back to a
place where I was like, oh, youknow, like I am actually
lovable. Oh, gosh, all right, Ijust gonna end it there. I'm
just gonna end it there, for thelove of all things holy wherever
you go. I mean, think about howi the whole premise of this show
(31:04):
is to spread more love in theworld, to use spirituality and
storytelling to help people tounderstand themselves more. When
you understand yourself more,and you start to take a look
around, you start to understandother people more, and you start
to understand that all we wantto do is be loved and accepted
and belong and to feel like thatwe matter, and our words are so
(31:25):
powerful, and we could be usingour words to build each other up
rather than tear each otherdown. So wherever you go, may
you leave the people better theanimals better right yourself,
better the environment in theplanet, better than how you
(31:48):
first found them. Think aboutthat is my being here and the
quality of my thoughts, my wordsand my actions going to leave
this person, this program, thisthing better for my having been
here, wherever you go, may youand your energy and your love
(32:10):
and your presence, yourkindness, be a blessing. Bye,
you.
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